1376 – Clomps and The Accidental Foley Artist | Tales Never Told

Episode 1376 – Clomps and The Accidental Foley Artist | Tales Never Told

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who’s here to keep you company and…welcome. Hello. I’m a podcaster here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff. Or, that’s…if you're new, I’m trying to…I don't know, I guess that didn’t work. I was imagining myself walking into an interview, but I said, that’s not…that doesn't help me make the very beginning of a sleep podcast. I want…but really, if you're new, I’m kind of applying for you to barely listen to me, which is a weird job to apply for, and it’s a job I’ve been doing for eleven years plus. So, I think I’m pretty qualified because I go off topic, I get mixed up, I try to be friendly but forgettable.

 

What I offer is a podcast maybe in a style you've never listened to before on purpose, but a podcast that has a spirit of stuff you've done before, like put a TV on or something playing on your phone and you barely pay attention to it, or you put on some…something spoken-word, a audiobook or a podcast or a sporting event or the radio. Maybe it’s drifting through the window and you're kinda listening to it but you're not paying attention. But the thing is it’s just occupying enough of that space that you feel something relieving, something distracting so you can get comfortable and fall asleep, so it takes your mind off of stuff. That’s really what Sleep With Me is here to do.

 

Now, I do it in a very silly, meandering way, but I’m glad you're here. If you're new, just check the show out a few times. There’s no pressure to like me or the podcast or to fall asleep. Just see how it goes, 'cause I hope I can help you out. So, I’m glad you're here. The structure of the show is…what we got coming up is support, then a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, and then later on a bedtime story to help you fall asleep. So, I’m really glad you're here. I work really hard. I yearn and I strive. I really hope we can help you fall asleep. What else do you need to know?

 

Oh, if you're new or you occasionally listen to the show, don't worry, but if you're a regular listener or a all-night listener, a five-night-a-week listener and you want to opt in to be a part of the show…the show is a part of your life and you want to opt in and be a part of the life of the show, right, so we can be here for you, the super listener or the stupor listener, that’s what these things coming up are, ‘cause you can opt in to the show by supporting the show directly, supporting the sponsors, or spreading the word about the show. You can get good feelings and you can get a thank-you from me when you do that. You'll get a thank-you now, and I thank you you, too, if you're a casual listener or a listener that says, nah, no thank you, or you're new. I’m glad you're here. I really thank you for coming by, and if you do want to opt in, here’s a couple ways you can do it.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. That could be things on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thoughts that are just making an appearance. Thoughts…my thoughts make a grand entrance and then stick around. They do a lot of clomping. In fact, we did a show about Clomp…The Clomps, a holiday show.

 

I don't know, clomping, I guess, is a descriptive way of walking loudly and in a way that’s not associated with…clomping…it’s not…I mean, I tried to frame it with the episode. Maybe we’ll do another episode with The Clomps. I guess that’s what we could do tonight. But it’s just a way of movement that’s not normally associated with…well, definitely not associated with sleep. So, thoughts that are clomping around that have appeared, they could be clogging…tap…you say, could…? If I’m gonna have thoughts about tap-dancers, could they be silent tap-dancers or a metaphor for…? I’d prefer no tap-dancing thoughts anywhere near bedtime. Maybe three hours…I say, if you're gonna see a show with tap-dancing, what time would you want to see it? Well, about three hours before bed, right?

 

‘Cause the show ends, then I drive home or however I get home; that’s an hour, then I still have two hours. Okay, two and a half hours I could even give you. Then I get home, have a half-hour to mess around, and then a hour to wind down, and that’s a show of tap-dancing. If my thoughts are gonna be tap dancing, please…I’d prefer you do the tap-dancing thoughts between 11:00 a.m. and 2:00 p.m., but kinda like caffeine; nothing…no tap-dancing thought…they say, sorry, we just do what we do, man. You know, when they say ‘you do you’, that also gives us — especially tap-dancing thoughts — full permission to us do us. Well, I never take…I don't…when people say ‘you do you’, I always get mixed up by it anyway, so I don't know if you really need to tap…you don’t need to take that, either.

 

If you're within me, maybe you could be confused by that instead of saying, well, we're tap-dancing thoughts. We need to do us anytime of day the mood strikes. You'd say, for the love of fossy…could you do an alliterative thing? Not this second we can't. We don’t want to do…not doing…yeah, we're passing on that. Yeah, you're right; it’s tough to do alliterative fossy. Faucets of…friendly faucets of fossying. Okay, you did try that. But I’m just saying at bed…could you just…you do…? Oh, we don’t…we're just thoughts. We just get activated. We don’t even…to be honest, we just…once we do us, we're doing it. We don’t plan it. Okay, I guess…can we agree…? Okay, I get it. I guess…I see you, tap-dancing thoughts. I get it. You just…you don’t…you do you, but it just starts to happen suddenly, usually at bedtime. Correct.

 

Yeah, we know it’s not ideal, so…but that’s just us. We're doing us. Okay, okay. I can agre with that. So, it could be thoughts like that, and sometimes you have to handle them in that way. It took me a while to maybe listen to that. With those kind of thoughts, you can't…I don't know, that was pretty…we worked that out directly. We didn’t actually find a solution, though. We're in process. We're in process of us being us, our tap-dancing thoughts being them. But…yeah, so that’s interesting. So, it could be thoughts, could be feelings that are coming up, emotions related to those thoughts or anything else, it could be physical sensations, time, changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be going through something, getting over something, in the middle of something.

 

Whatever it is, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off whatever’s keeping you awake, which you might say, well, why did you just point it out? I’d say, good question. The reason I bring up some of this stuff is so that you know that maybe you could be in the right place. You don’t even have to know you're in the right place. But you get the sense of like, huh, this isn't…this is a place where I’m understood. Or, at least there’s the desire for understanding, because if anybody…I mean, there’s other people listening…now, not everybody listens to this. When someone says ‘you do you’, I get mixed up. I get some performance anxiety. I say, wait a second…my people-pleaser turns on, and then also I say, well, I’m not exactly sure what that means. They'd say, on which level?

 

I say, well, every level, pretty much. All the levels. Yeah, I mean, me doing me is me avoiding…yeah, let’s be straight up. I just…that’s me being me. I’m gonna avoid this altogether. Or, could we do it later? Well, later when? Far…when I’m more prepared for it. So, I’ll do me one day. Not today. Or, I’d…I’ll do me by…you know. You know what I’m saying? But not everybody that’s listening is like that, and I don't know exactly what’s keeping you awake, right? But I know when I struggle with sleep and when I’ve struggled with sleep throughout my life or however you want to phrase it, I know what it feels like for me, and I’ve been in a lot of different situations and dealt with a lot of different things. So, I know what the under…the feelings in the middle are. Maybe they're not underlying feelings, but they're feelings that are just there.

 

I think we kinda maybe can share some of those or share an understanding of like, yeah, oof, yeah. ‘Cause I know there’s probably thirty, forty percent of people are like, oh no, I can do me. I know how to do me. I say, great. That’s cool. So, I can appreciate that, and maybe you can appreciate my confusion around it, or maybe you can't. I don't know, but we have this place where we can agree that we're all holding our hands up sometimes, like…not in a shrug but like a what? The other thing is…here’s the even better news of why I talk about this…is because there’s enough people listening that whatever’s keeping you awake…and sometimes it takes a while to feel good about this, but there’s someone else listening somewhere in the world…somewhere else in the world; isn't that amazing?

 

They really do understand what you're going through 'cause they've been through something very similar, and they're rooting for you. They're like, man, I really hope this podcast can help you like it helped me. I didn’t think to look for a podcast where it’s a guy just clomping around word-wise, and he’s a little bit different. He’s a little bit odd. But I found the show and it helps me in some way with all that stuff I’ve been…I had struggled with for so long or I’m…or whatever I’m going through right now. They know; they know what it feels like for you. They say, wow, yeah, I’ve felt some of those same feelings or…you know, those things. I know what it’s like.

 

That’s all they're doing, is silently or maybe with a smile or a gesture or with their eyes softened or opened or closed…with some kind of welcoming softness, they're glad you're here and hopeful for you. Whether it’s this podcast or I can introduce you to something else that ends up helping you get the rest you need and you deserve, I’m glad you're here and so is someone who really gets you out there in the world. Think about that tomorrow when you're out there in the world, that there’s someone else out there who does get it. This isn't some nonsense I’m saying. This is the truth, 'cause I hear from listeners.

 

I’m only getting defensive with my internal critic or a little stern with my internal critic, 'cause my internal critic…maybe yours is like that, too…wants to say, no. But it is true. The thing with the listener who’s rooting for you right now, alls they hope…'cause some of you are regular listeners and you're going through something, and some of you are new, some of you are in-between or whatever. But alls I hope for is that you could be the one rooting for someone new one day on the show, and maybe you're rooting for somebody who’s…you could already do that when you're new. So, I’m really glad you're here, and I really believe you deserve a good night's sleep.

 

You deserve a bedtime where you could get the rest you need so tomorrow your life is more manageable, you get the rest you need on a regular basis so that you don’t have to…sleep becomes less of a struggle and something you can ease into, and ideally, whether it’s Sleep With Me or something else, that you get the rest you need on a regular basis where you could be out there in the world flourishing. That means our world’s a better place to be in because your world’s a better place to be in. The world really does need you, or it’s a better place with you in it, right? Especially when you're flourishing and feeling good or being your whole self.

 

I don't know, it’s just…these are the things that are important to me, why I’ve made the show for twelve years, week in and week out, because it’s important and because you're important. I know it takes a reminder sometimes to know that, yeah, there’s somebody else in the world…out there in the world that gets it and is kind and welcoming. I get to connect the two of you in this indirect way. Or the other side is…and some people are experiencing it like I said, is like, you're getting to connect…you're getting to send that out and be…you get to root for somebody else out there in the world who’s gone through something like you're going through or you've gone through. So, that’s really the magic of the show.

 

On top of that magic or obscuring the magic is how the show works, which is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents, which means I go off topic, I get mixed up, then I repeat myself or I go on tangents like I just did, talk to other parts of my brain, whatever…I don't even know what was coming up before. Oh, clomping. That’s all to take your mind off stuff and keep you company so you could fall asleep. So, it does take some getting used to, the idea of a podcast to put you to sleep that you don’t really listen to, that takes twenty minutes to get started 'cause it’s easing you into bedtime.

 

If you get here and you're tired, you're gonna be skeptical, doubtful, maybe even a little bit grouchy, and that’s understandable, because if I found this podcast, I would be all those things, right, if I was looking for something to help me fall asleep and someone told me about it or I found it in a search. Alls I can say is stick around and see how it goes, 'cause this podcast is supposed to help you out, but it doesn't help everybody out. If you stick around and see how it goes or you already know that this isn't gonna work out, don't worry. I have a web…everything I said is still true even if you strongly loathe me.

 

I have a website set up, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, and that has other sleepy stuff on there and stuff, 'cause people have strongly loathed me for the whole time I’ve made the podcast, and I learned from saying, hey, let’s step out of this kind of exhausting cycle where you do a slam dunk on me and then I read it and say, wait a second, these people still need to sleep, too. So, that’s what sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou is for. So, check it out if it doesn't work out. So, this is a podcast you don’t really listen to. It’s also a podcast that doesn't put you to sleep. It’s a podcast that keeps you company while you fall asleep. I’m here to tell you there’s no pressure to fall asleep with the show.

 

That’s the reason the episodes are over an hour, is so you don’t…you say, oh wait, I don't have to worry about falling asleep. I got plenty of time. There’s people listening who can't sleep at all or who need a break during the day, and I’m here whether you're awake or asleep, whether you're listening or not, so that you don’t have to worry about listening or falling asleep. I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your neigh-bore, your bore-bud, your bore-bie, your bores, your boreman, your bore-friend, your bore-bestie…did I already say that stuff? Your Boris Borlaf, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bruh, your best bore-friend f’eva, and just to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company so you could fall asleep. That’s different, too, right?

 

You say, you're gonna be here and I’m not…I’m gonna barely listen to you? Yeah, I’m kinda like a TV on in the other room or a boring roommate or friend who you can listen to who’s not annoying. I mean, during the day it might be. You say, well, I’m trying to think here. You're talking about the difference between clogging and clomping? Oh no, that’ll be the bedtime story we talk about later. Yeah. Oh, great. So, yeah, just see…if you're new, just see how it goes. The structure of the show is the only other thing that I like to…meet people where they are if you're new or you're trying to figure out…how does this show fit in your life. We structure the show in the way to benefit the most people we can based on the feedback and the way people have listened throughout the years, but there are ways to adjust the show.

 

So, most people like listening to this ad-supported version linearly, which means they just put it on, they press Play, they wind down during the intro. First they hear the greeting, right? Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. New people, they get a idea…okay, this podcast does sound friendly and silly. Regular listeners get the reassurance they're in the right place. Everybody gets this idea; you're seen and welcomed in. Then there’s sponsors, right, so the show…paying for it’s optional. If you prefer something without ads, you could get that on Sleep With Me+. Then after the support is a long, meandering intro, and that intro is meant to ease you into bedtime.

 

It’s meant to follow a familiar structure but be different every time so that whatever keeps you awake can't quite get used to it, but it says, oh, there goes Scoots again going off topic. So, that’s why the intro’s fifteen to twenty minutes long. It’s not part of the support. It’s not…it’s just to ease you into bedtime. It’s like friends hanging out, chatting. You're like, but you haven't said any…you've said some…you could have said everything you said in two minutes. I say, yeah, right, but this is a podcast to help ease you into bedtime and then put you to sleep. So, if you find you don’t like the intros or you want to supplement your Sleep With Me listening, you could get that at Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me in any podcast app, and that show’s just like this show.

 

So, it’s sponsor-supported, so if you just want to listen to that version without paying for anything, you can. The great thing is podcast apps are free, too, and most podcast apps are listener-supported, so…or supported by the platform they're on. So, yeah, you could listen to either one of those, but the intro goes on and on and on if you want to be eased into bedtime. People are getting ready for bed, getting comfortable in bed, or doing some sort of wind-down activity. So, that’s what the intro does, then there’s support, then it’ll be our bedtime story. Sounds like tonight it’ll be something about The Clomps, which I think was…I’m pretty sure it was The Clomps. I’ll have to look that up, too. Yeah, all told, I’ll be here for about an hour.

 

You could always set a sleep timer for forty-five minutes or sixty minutes or thirty minutes. The cool thing is there’s a lot of different podcast apps, and you can kinda work with your podcast. You could kinda make playlists or work with the settings in your podcast app to customize podcasts for you. We put a variety of stuff out on Sleep With Me+, too, but we also are always…this show comes out consistently and it has for the whole time, and it comes out with a variety of styles of episodes, so you could kinda pick and choose what works best for you.

 

That goes back to what I’ve been saying the whole time, is like, I’m glad you're here. I really do hope the show can help you out. I work really hard. So do a team of people. We yearn and strive. We really hope we can help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways we're able to do this for you regularly if you want to opt in, if you're a regular listener and this show is a part of your life. If you're new or you're just dipping your toes in or whatever, don't worry about it, though. Thanks.

 

Alright everybody, this is one of these episodes, Tales Never Told, and it’s a tale never told. It’s also a tale that I have no idea what I talked about in the intro. I know 'cause I know I promised myself…I would research one of these Tales Never Told about The Clomps, 'cause I’m pretty sure The Clomps, who are famous for clomping around, came up in the intro, and I remembered another story that had come up in another intro — or maybe it was this one — about the accidental foley artist. Believe it or not, there’s…these two stories actually intersect. So, I apologize for whatever I said…may talk about in the intro other than it’ll be about The Clomps, who…there was another Clomp episode. This is…this episode’s about two Clomps, Cornelia Clomp and Cornelius Clomp.

 

At school…they were twins, and at school, unfortunately, they were known as the Corny Clomps, and Clomps was their last name, though it was a stage name because they were from the Clomp Family. I mean, I don't know any other families…stage family names. There was…before my time, there was the Partridge Family who were performers and they had a TV show. I have no idea if they were related or not, but I would assume…it’s different when you're on TV, right? You're in the Bradys, you're in the Simpsons or whatever. Oh, those are…that’s a animated…I don't know why that would be different. But if you perform on stage and you say, well, yeah, I’m Danny Partridge…I don't know.

 

So, that’s The Clomps, though they were…this was…they were brother…they were a real family; formally had another name years and years ago, and they chose a different name, Clomps. But this…that isn't the story. Tonight’s story is about Cornelia and Cornelius, the Corny Clomps, though they embraced that title, and they would actually call each other…Corn? Yes, Corn. Okay, Corn. So, they kinda were more of the Corn Clomps. This is their tale of how they became the accidental foley artists. But it’s just better if it’s accidental foley artist, because there’s a couple things. One, it’s difficult if you're at school and your name is the Corny Clomps. But also, they would wear clomp shoes, which are a bit like clogs, to school.

 

At every point…or at every point…at every…when people get to adolescence, sometimes they want to rebel or go on a journey, maybe a journey of self-discovery, and it’s particularly important when you're making a sleep podcast to try to find these twisted, turning tales never told. So, this was at a time when they were confused. They had embraced…they realized…they had friends at school. It wasn’t like it was all bad. They had their niche and they knew they enjoyed performing, right? They just weren't sure…when you're raised in a clomp-based family…kinda like…this is, again, another Tale Never Told. If there’s the clogging version of this…it’s different than tap dancing or even like a more niche type of dancing.

 

No offense, but Irish dance, where I come from, is not considered niche, but I think in most of the country it would be a nicher form of dance. Once upon a time, there was a form of dance called jazz, which I…which was…my sister took jazz classes. When we had our dance recitals, there was jazz recitals. I don't know. I don't know enough about dance. I would say tap and ballet; those are non…I mean, those are genres of dance versus a niche, right? Versus clogging, which has surged in popularity at different times. More of a niche. I’m not trying to step on any toes. Accidental pun city here.

 

But one niche of dancing that you don’t know about is clogging, and clogging…it did have a hay day in a different…there was…in addition to the Borscht Belt for performing, there were other places to perform that were not in the glory of the Borscht Belt and Vaudevillian performances. But other places still needed performers, too, and that’s…anyway, we're talking about the history of The Clomps. I’m here to tell a story of the Corn Clomps, of our two Corns. So, whatever, they grew up in a Clomp…they grew up to be Clomps, and they liked it, but…and I said, I don't know, man. They were ready to go on a journey and rebel, in a sense. One important thing about this is the ABCs of clomping, which maybe you would cover in the Always Be Clomping.

 

That’s one of the things that was instilled in them from their youth, always be clomping. One, because your body kind of adjusts to wearing clomping shoes, which is funny because now there’s…so, a clog is…within the fiction world of dance, a clog is like a wooden shoe, though it’s not always…not all wooden shoes are clogs and not all clogs are wooden shoes, obviously. But if you watch the Macy’s parade whenever they had clogging in it, which I have no idea when that was 'cause I’ve been watching them out of order, there was clogging in it. I don't think they were…I don't think you'd want to walk the Macy’s parade in a wooden shoe, so maybe it was some sort of composite material, right? Corn and Corn, they also had composite material, 'cause clogs and clomp…clompers, they call them.

 

These shoes were made for clomping, and that’s just what we do. One of…the first…one of the days I’m gonna design a shoe for clomping, but the shoes will be for me and you. So, clomping and clogging are different, but not…it’s just easier to give you something that you can barely understand versus something you can't understand at all. But…oh, I was saying it’s interesting…is in my mind, a composite clog or a composite clomp, a clomper, is a bit like a Croc. Not a crock like a bunch of baloney. I mean those Croc shoes. A little bit different. But so, these…oh, what am I saying? When you're told to always be clomping, it means you have to wear your clompers all the time.

 

While this tale takes place not that far in the past, it is far enough in the past that nobody was going to school, particularly high school, in Crocs, 'cause they hadn't been invented yet. Yeah. So, their shoes were also a thing where they said, man, I can’t believe I gotta wear these clogs or clomps to school. So, I guess the short version is they were…when the story starts, they were wearing clompers, which are like clogs. They're noisy shoes, though they make more of a clomp than a clog. A clog doesn't make a clog sound, though. I guess you could make it if you…I think you'd have to make some sort of hollow-out motion to make your clog go ‘clog’, right? Like, a clog…maybe you'd need the right floor, too. ‘Cause a clog sounds more like a clock. I mean, not like a clock on the wall; like the sound…that the word…like a clock.

 

Or, I guess a clomp…do horses clomp? Clickety-clackety-clock. But so, in this tale, starting out, two siblings, Corn and Corn, Cornelius and Cornelia, were in their clomps, and they're out…they were…they decided one day…they were like, I’ve…let’s just leave school and let’s go on an adventure together. Now, this adventure wasn’t totally impulsive or totally rebellious, because at first…they decided this because they were supposed to do a report on their…they were supposed to do a report for their thesis. I don't know, this wasn’t senior…the end of senior year of high school, so maybe it was junior year. Maybe it was the beginning of senior year. I don't know, this tale’s been passed down…I mean, this tale’s been told, obviously, millions of times, but only in word-of-mouth.

 

So, you know, not everything…and obviously maybe I wasn’t totally listening to the person that told…I said, wait a second, tell me what they look like again so I just…so I could picture it in my mind. They said, I’m trying to tell you the story. I said, so, they look like Crocs. No, I didn’t say that. So, anyway, that’s how it went for me when I first heard the tale to get it to you. They said, this isn't a good use of my time. I said, are you telling me a story about people clomping around? I don't know if you're one to judge. This also all happened within my imagination, a three-way conversation. Okay, so, where were we? So, they left school to go to a museum, because they decided…because ABC meant Always Be Clomping.

 

They needed to do something about influences of history…something in a historical project that involved history and geography, and they decided to do one on flooring and walking and its impacts on history, though they just proposed the idea. The professor, the teacher, said, okay, why don’t you go to the museum, The History…The Museum of Organic and Natural Occurrences or whatever, and why don’t you try to do some research there? It happened to be…they lived in a really good area, like a very…like a nice urban area…part of the world…I mean, I never said this was in the US, right? It could be anywhere. It could be right by you. But they had access to multiple museums in one location, or nearby. So, they could go to the history and science museums altogether.

 

Maybe…I mean, I don't know, maybe that’s…maybe it was the Smithsonian. I have no idea, because I didn’t think to ask. I was more consumed with what do the shoes look like, and then I went off…like, what are those things called you stick in the…? I bought some for my daughter, and they fell out. The person’s like, what? I said, okay, well, one time I bought my daughter those things you stick in your shoes to make them decorative, and they all fell out. They said, what are you talking about? I said, never mind. Go ahead; please proceed. So…okay, so, the first place they headed was the place with…where they could go and see the dinos, right? ‘Cause that’s a popular section. They both remembered it from when they were kids.

 

They said, let’s go to that part of the museum and that…within the museum where we could see the dinos; superstructures of dinos, fake dinos, and all stuff like that. Now, here’s the great part; their professor also was like…had them…taught them some skills to be able to explain themselves, and said, hey, just go there and tell them why you're there. This is who I want you to meet at the museum. You're gonna go…you're going in a off season, off hours, so you should be able to really do this. Also, this was a audio-focused project. I don't know if it was their focus…again, I was so distracted when I was hearing this tale. I said, are you…are the museums connected? They said, it doesn't matter. I said, like the mall? Like where you could go from one to the other? ‘Cause I never did…I’d like to do that.

 

Stevie B lives somewhere near there. We could see Stevie B and walk those museums. How many museums do you think I could go to in a day? So, I guess while I was talking about that, the person was saying that they were gonna record themselves walking. I guess, again, this…in this era, maybe we’d just not do it this way, but this is a tactile story. This also is just a junior high school…a high-school project. No offense, but you get a little more leeway when you're doing that. So, they went to this museum. They went to the dino section. They met…I guess it wouldn't be a docent. That’s another tangent I went on when the person was trying to tell me the story. I said, what’s a docent, anyway? They just stared at me. I said, what…? It was a decent docent. A decent…was the docent decent?

 

Was it a decent docent? Did the decent donuts…docents eat donuts? Delicious donuts with decent…so, it turned…I don't know what a…I think a docent is someone that…I don't know what they are, 'cause the person walked away from me. Okay, so, Corn and Corn got to this museum. Holy cow, did they. They met with someone in authority from the museum; maybe a docent, maybe not. The person was decent because they said, okay, tell me about your project. They said, well, it’s gonna take a while, but we’ll give you the short version for Scoots’ sake. We're clompers, which is similar to clogging, and basically we wear these clomping shoes all the time.

 

We thought that it’s always been some…you know, a person that works in a museum is gonna get this, the right…they met with the right person, and she was like, okay, I’ll bet that’s…makes school hard. Oh yeah, it does. You say you're in a family of dancers. What kind of dance? Clomping. We just…we clomp around in these shoes. They're kinda…they make a unique sound. It’s unique and there’s a lot of creative constraint. She goes, oh, I love creative constraints. So, I work in a museum. She goes, nature is my creative constraint. Everyone said, man, you should put that on a t-shirt for museum workers, or we could give it as an award. She said, okay, let’s focus on you, kids. I want to help you. They said, so, we were thinking about the ground in history, but we gotta get this done.

 

We were gonna record ourselves walking on different pieces of ground in our clomping shoes and then figure out…then we’ll write a report about it somehow. She goes, oh, okay, so process-based. You don’t even know…you don't know what it is ‘til you do it, huh? They said, yeah, it’s kinda similar to the New Clomping Movement, which is kind of like…our family’s on that end of it. We’ve actually been ostracized from the main…the Great Clomping Movement. We're not pop-clompers. I mean, we actually have become pop-clompers because we…yeah, we just…sometimes the whole idea of clomping is just clomping around. So, we're here to do that for history and science, for a high-school project.

 

She goes, okay, so tell me more, because the ground in here, even in the exhibits…if I get what you're saying, you want to walk around on the inside of the exhibits. They said, yeah. She said, okay. Scientifically, this won't be accurate at all, but you're gonna record yourself walking in your clompers in this exhibit, this dino exhibit, and you're gonna make a report about it. They said, hopefully. Also, we’d like to take as long as possible because we need a break from school, anyway. She said, I totally get it. Go for it. So, they went into the exhibit. Now, a large majority…I should talk to my friends at I Know Dino Podcast, but I’m just working off the material I got from this other person who told me the tale. But these are Tales Never Told, and when you get a tale never told told to you within your imagination, it’s a doozy, man.

 

So, there’s two typical archetypal…within my mind, the old archetypes on Sleep With Me only exist within my mind. There’s a dry, hard sand environment you see dinos in, and then there’s a grassland. Maybe you get some marsh swamp. So, those are the three, but in a museum, your marsh swamp area is gonna be manufactured. So, we're talking mainly lucite from my…totally 100% it’s lucite. So, they got in there and they start clomping around. First they're going through the sand area which is just hard. It looks like sand at a distance, but you know it’s not sand; otherwise it’d be blowing around the museum. So, it’s kinda like a scrapey…not quite the thing that you see when you visit someone and they have that thing in the bathroom, a pumice stone. You say, I wonder what they…never mind. Let me just block that right out.

 

There’s some advice; if you ever see a pumice stone — no offense if you use one, 'cause I don't know — just block it out of your…if you're a guest, block it out of your mind. Pumice stones; there’s…that’s one thing it’s okay to suppress and block out of your mind, though I’m guessing it’s just for something on your foot or something, but I don't know. Maybe I got…but so, it’s like the texture…probably a little bit rougher than a pumice stone, but it looks like sand. So, they went around there, and first they were walking, and they took turns micing each other. They were using a boom mic and a couple other different techniques, 'cause they must have had some…I said, yeah, why don’t you use a couple different mics, too, if you can?

 

It’s gonna make your editing a lot longer, but…so, they did some walking, then they did some shuffling, then they did some jumping, some…then they started playing Mother May I? So, then they did…it was kinda…can I…may I take…? ‘Cause they knew they were gonna edit it, right? They were having a good time, and the scientist…the museum person, she was having a good time watching them. So, first they did it on the sandstone — that’s just what I’m calling it — then they went into the next room and they did it on the fake grasslands, which kinda created a whishing sound. Mostly it’s fake tall grass. They did have to be careful in some parts that were more artistically designed not to be walked through, but there were areas, 'cause people…believe it or not, people gotta clean these things.

 

I mean, well, I’ve never heard anyone that said, oh yeah, natural history…I’m the bone-polisher. I guess because as soon as you say it, you start blushing. But I’m assuming that’s a real thing. At least the leading natural history museums…or that’d be…I guess that’ll be another episode we do down the road, the old bone…old Bernie the bone-polisher. He’s internationally known to…not to rock a microphone but to polish bones. He’s the greatest bone-polish…even if it’s not real bone, he can polish that thing up. He’s particularly adept at…he’s good. He’s the best. Does he bring his…? No, he works with you to find out…'cause some people use wax, you know? Bone waxing is technically what he does, bone cleaning, bone dusting.

 

Bernie would tell you, oh, we start with the dusting, and then you're gonna find…depending on when the museum was last serviced…hey, there’s some buildup here, so we're gonna have to work…we're gonna have to think about…is this real? Then we gotta work with a very specific method. So, that’s what he told me; don’t talk about me on your podcast, 'cause you're not…the scientific method and you do not go together. I said, yeah, we're like a comedy team. He said, there’s nothing funny about the scientific method. I said, you're a scientific bone-polisher, dude. Come on, man, it’s a funny…so, that was it between me and Bernie the bone-polisher. Luckily that happened in my imagination, too. So, okay, so they went through the grasslands and they got some good swishing.

 

They could…less stunt walking…stunt clomping there, because obviously you gotta be careful. They were very careful. Then they went into the swamp, which was lucite, but the thing was…or something. I don't know, a fake swamp. No water. Made to look like swampy water. You've seen it if you've been to one of these museums. I’ve seen it once; I’ve seen it twelve times in my life. But yeah, it’s like plastic. Sometimes it’s got green and it has layers. Really resilient. Now, again, just a note; somebody’s gotta also clean that on a regular basis. Maybe this is Night at the Museum 5: The Lucite-Mopper and the Bone-Polisher. Night at the Museum…Ben Stiller, could you get back to me on this? I mean, how many have there been? Because it could be…we could do three. But so…okay, so they're walking around there in that thing.

 

Now, this is a really good one because…this is a good thing they were recording it. This made some sounds because, one, I mean, spoiler; the lucite is built on a platform to make it…'cause this is where you got your Brontosaurus, typically. This will be like your Brontosaurus that’s not…it could be a animatronic or just a statue. Usually you're gonna have a few. It’s gonna have…I mean, talk about trope. It’s got the vegetation hanging out its mouth and it’s in a swamp. This is just one of the things…part of the…within my mind, the history museums in my mind. But so, because of that, some areas of the lucite are gonna be hollow. Some are thicker than others.

 

Then, because of the uneven layers, to give it a three-dimensional look…'cause you can't have…if you're gonna build a fake swamp, put some effort in, and they did at this museum. So, it has different layers, right, or different…is that strata? And stuff to make it look like different greens, like lily pads. All of it was solid to the floor, nothing breakable or anything. So, these two were clomping around in there. You had…you were walking with the lucite, which would change, then you'd hit a different layer or thickness, then they realized how tough this lucite was, or whatever the material was. I don't know, that’s just the material that my brain told me to say. Thick layers of plastic-like material? I don't know. But so, you could go clomping around in there and really do it up, and that they did.

 

So, they got those three recordings done, and they were like, wow, this is great. This is great stuff. Then they went to the next section of this museum which was, again…and these museums are kinda changing. I think probably the first one I went to was in New York City. We have them here in San Francisco, but they're changing. These are kinda these older exhibits that…and actually, my brother worked on one to kinda put some animation in there, 'cause they're not known for their kinetic motion and they don’t normally have animatronics. They just have still statues, right, of different parts of the world and beings in our world throughout history after the dinos. As you're going through the time periods that I don't know about…I don't know my…a pale from a Paleozoic. I just don’t. Paleozoic who?

 

I don't even know any other…Pleistocene, please. Pleistocene…yes. Whatever. I don't have…I don't even have prehistoric…my jokes are prehistoric, but they're not prehistorically…they're prehistorically inaccurate. Pleistocene? Please. There are jokes in…there are people that could create jokes out of that stuff, but I don't even know any other…I wish…sena…is there one, Cenozoic? ‘Cause I don't have a joke for it, but that popped in my brain, too. But so, they went to this other one that had things that kinda looked like giraffes, and this was in a little bit different…the land in this one…and again, my memory could be…it was fake snow, some sort of Arctic tundra. I may be mixing up two exhibits, too, so maybe it wasn’t giraffes, but in my mind that’s what it looks like.

 

What could be cuter than two twins, both that go by Corn, in clomping shoes playing a game…? So, hey, mother…sister, may I skip? Yes, you may skip five times. Okay. Then I don't…I guess it’s like…it’s not really a great one-on-one game except if you're recording it and just trying to make a school project fun. Then, there you go, some free advice. Not very useful, but…so, they're skipping through this fake tundra. Now, the material in this fake tundra…because this was a older section of the museum, was, again, a bit more like…what do you call that? Not a paper mache. A plaster, but the plaster was then covered in some sort of layer of protective goop, like a…is that what a varnish is? I always picture a varnish as shiny. But some sort of sealant layer.

 

Makes it easier to clean, protects the plaster from ever breaking down, and it creates another set of interesting sounds as they're hopping around in there and skipping around. So, they went to that one. Then suddenly, though, they were told they had to go…they said, hey, we’ve got…you've been…the scientist came and said, hey, you gotta move on to the next museum. They said, okay, your time up here…we got another set of kids coming in. They said, clompers? The woman just…no, no, no. But yeah, we got other students we have to service, so…so, they headed into the next museum, which was kind of, whatever, attached or really close by. Now, this museum was interesting 'cause…I guess I wasn’t paying attention when the person told me the story at this point.

 

So, the next thing I remember…I guess these were historical exhibits, which I guess makes sense. One was a bank. I say, okay, well, yeah, I haven't been in a…I haven't been in an old-fashioned…except for a restaurant that got made into a bank in a long time. Honestly, the last time I think I was in a bank was two years ago to get loose change for a trip…a vacation where I was gonna make everybody spend…I was giving everybody money every day and saying, hey, everybody spend two dollars and tell me what cool thing you got. But that didn’t work anyway. But so, they're in this bank, but it’s a fake bank, right? But it looks like a bank. Also a play…it was for instructing kids. It probably had Streetmosphere or whatever, like a bus…it could be a bustling bank.

 

Also, I guess they could also shoot movies if they wanted to, because this had everything. So, it had carpeting in the area where you meet with the bankers, right, and then it had desks. They had no limits, so they're clomping around on the carpet and clomping around, skipping and jumping, then they're on the desks and even…they were even…they weren't just clomping; they were tap-dancing, balleting. Then they're on the…whatever the floor is. I don't think a marble…well, there’s granite and marble? I’m just guessing. Then they get into the vault, and oh boy, this vault is a metal floor. The flooring of vaults is one…things that’s only occasionally glamorized, because when you see that door, you're like, oh boy, that’s a door, man.

 

Then you see the walls, and then you're usually looking at what’s in the vault versus the floor. So, this could escape you that…at least in this particular vault, it had a metal floor, and it was a thick metal floor, but it was also like a echo, 'cause the only thing in the vault was fake stuff. So, they did a lot of that and dancing around the vault, and then they were even pretending they worked at the bank, which is very funny. But they could do this…a lot of this in silence, because they were clomping. There is interpretive…dramatic clomping and interpretive clomps and whatever. So, spiritual clomping is a thing. It just is. So, they did that. Then I guess they didn’t realize…or I just wasn’t paying attention; they went into another area that was wet, but I think it was just a area that was being cleaned in this museum.

 

So, it had a couple inches of water on the floor. Then I’m pretty sure they went into a gag…not a gag museum. Maybe they did. It was a gag museum of gags and other…or…oh, a pop-up museum I guess is what you'd call it. So, they went into this pop-up museum, or maybe it was a museum about pop-up museums within the museum. That would make more sense. The Smithsonian Museum of Pop-up Museums. Yeah, I think that’s maybe a new…that’s a new wing that I just invented. But so, they went into there. Holy cow. Oh yeah, that makes sense.

 

So, there was the Graham Cracker Museum, and the main things they were interested in, though, was…one, there was a room full of graham crackers, and they could just walk through graham…I mean, you're talking…and again, they figured…one of the big graham cracker companies was nearby, and they would use their discards, so nothing was wasted. But yeah, they were clomping around. There were some that were regular graham crackers, and you have your honey grahams, and then you have your cinnamon-covered grahams. We're talking…what are we talking? Six to twelve inches of graham crackers on the floor, and a lot of it…because they had this special access, you're talking pure…I mean, uncracked graham crackers. Then there was the graham play area, a theme…the corporate graham area.

 

So, you had Teddy Grahams and the Keebler Elves. It was like a play area, but that was pretty good 'cause they were able to play in those, but there was also free samples. So, they were able…I mean, maybe this isn't the greatest thing, but they were walking through the free samples, which really did create its own kinda interesting sound, like…I don't even know if Teddy Grahams are still around. I just remember that commercial from when I was a kid, 'cause people just wanted to eat their teddy bears. But yeah, they were going through those little baggies, stepping in them. They weren’t trying to crush everything in a way that was rebel…I mean, maybe it was a little rebellious. So, that was a pop-up museum. Then there was the pop-up…so, this is the unofficial Smithsonian Museum of Pop-up Museums.

 

So, the next one was the gag museum which had gags, which are like rubber chickens…a room of rubber chickens, of course. So, that was…walking through that, and a lot of them made a noise when you stepped on them. So, just imagine the kind of sound they were getting from there. Then they had a room full of buzzers, which is like a thing…a metal thing you would wind up and then you would use it to shake somebody’s hand. I think it would just spin around and different stuff like that. So, just more…I’m trying to think of what else the gag museum…oh, squirting flowers. So, that one also had…so, that one was a pretty cool thing. This is probably one of the greatest pop-up museums you've never been to. But you go into this one room and it’s got…very Instagrammable.

 

Also, if this ever gets done, please give me all the money, obviously. Smithsonian, call me. We could do this. I mean, I couldn't do anything for it. I’ve been declared not part of the scientific…I’ve been this…in the Book of Opposites there’s the scientific method and then me. I say, the scientific method has a resentment…they said, you'd…I’d like you to be carbon dated. I said, oh, it sounds delightful. I’ve never been on a date with carbon before. They say, scientific…the scientific method’s rolling its eyes at you. Oh, so this was a room of like…so, there used to be squirting flowers. Fozzy the Bear is famous in Muppet Vision 3D for having a squirting flower. It’s like a flower you would wear on your lapel, then you have a little squirter and you could squirt…you say, hey, would you like to smell my flower?

 

This was before my time, but this was a big thing. A lot of this stuff they would sell in comic books. But whatever, that room…oh, I was talking about how Instagram…it’s a wall of flowers, but then they spray you and it’s not…it’s like, based on stuff on the floor and stuff, sensors. But because they had free access to it…I think there was even a puzzle. ‘Cause these pop-up museums, you gotta have…you gotta one-up the next one. This is, again, part of the museum, part of the pop-up…The Museum of Pop-up Museums, was showing the progression of pop-up museums through history. Very important stuff. So, you get sprayed by water, but then you have a wet floor that’s only a little bit wet, so they did that.

 

Then the next room was fake ice cube…that was another big thing, fake ice cubes, plastic ice cubes with stuff in there that you wouldn't want to have in your cold drink. So, then they did…they go through that room. Then you're kind of stepping on and kicking…it’s kind of like a ball pit but with fake ice cubes, but they're also…so, talk about lucite. I’m pretty sure those are made of lucite, too. Sleep With Me; now sponsored…now made of lucite. Oh, the scientific method just called; it said, I’d like you to be in a cube of lucite. Say, you're delightful. How about we go on a carbon date together? So…okay, man, I didn’t think I’d ruin it all with the scientific method tonight. I take it all back, all the way back to the beginning of time.

 

Okay, so, they went through that part of the gag museum and they got that stuff done, then they went…other than the graham cracker one, obviously the pop-up museum’s…one of the bigger things is different edible…not edibles like 420 edibles. Like, edibles. So, they went through there and then they got a lot of interest…there was different…a hard candy museum. These were all mini-museums within the pop…mini pop-up museums within The Museum of Pop-up Museums. This was another section. Say, I’d like the candy necklace type stuff, candy bracelets, gum. Maybe it was all one. I don't know. Then there was different frozen…you got your popsicle pop-up museum. It’s a room of popsicle sticks. Then they got a pudding museum, like Jell-O…Jell-O Jiggler Museum. Can you imagine the sounds…?

 

I mean, barely detectable to the human ear of two people clomping through Jell-O…a room full of Jell-O Jigglers. Nothing like…they were jiggling, jiggling in the Jell-O Jigglers, man, and pudding. I think there was a whipped cream museum. Graham cracker we already covered. It’s interesting; they went to…that the graham cracker pop-up museum got its own…it wasn’t in the mini-museum section. But, whatever. Then other stuff like that. I think the ones that stuck out to me, though, were the popsicle sticks. Pudding…pudding; I don't know, 'cause it’s like…it’s kinda like stepping in muck and mud. But they were cracking each other up. They were like, is that butterscotch I hear? Oh no, this is, whatever, caramel corn. I say, there’s caramel corn Jell-O? No, no, I was just kidding.

 

But so, they spent the day, man, getting all this audio and clomping around. What happened was by the time they left, they were tired, right? They had spent…they had actually got a pass to stay at the museum the whole weekend. So, this…even though I did a briefer version…I don't know where they slept, but that would be a dream come true for me. Talk about living vicariously. But so, they were ener…they were exhausted and energized. They returned home and their family…they lived with their extended family. Everyone was like…they knew that they were going through this stage of being fed up with clomping, right, but they had so many new ideas about clomping. Also, they said, how come there’s not a pop-up museum…? What if we did a fake pop-up show that’s a pop-up museum about clomping?

 

It would also include people’s…the regular public’s reaction to clomping. So, that was a show the whole family started working on, clomping pop-up, a pop-up clomping with…it also had pop-up books involved with it. I said, is that what their…did they call their grandfather Pop-up Clomp? The person telling me said, okay, we're almost at the end here. Can I just finish my story? I said, oh, sure. But so, they brought all this back to school, right, and they had all this audio. Holy moly. I mean, you've never edited audio before, but there’s nothing worse than seeing a project with four hours of audio that you have to diligently listen to. So, the teacher was kinda helping them import all the files and listening to it and saying, okay, so what is your thoughts about this, and how are you gonna do a report about it?

 

They said, we don’t know, because we just had so much fun clomping…we were mostly just clomping around. The teacher said, yeah, I picked up on that. The teacher said, okay, well, you gotta come up with a history…this is a tactile history project, and you got a lot of sounds. What is it you're hearing? You did it in a historical area, but it’s not actually…it’s a manufactured historical area, right? They said, yeah, yeah, you're right. So, the teacher said, can you hear anything…is anything else sticking out to you that you could do? They said, sounds of the pop-up museums and other stuff? He said, well, have you…? Let’s…have you…? He said, once upon a time, theme parks used to have sound experiences, and there used to be…and he showed them these YouTube…I guess it was before YouTube, so maybe he just had a VHS of a foley artist.

 

At Disney MGM Studios there was a show, and a foley artist was a part of it. Then, that was a one…I think I actually participated in it once and did it. He said, oh…and they said, okay. So, they brought these sounds to a foley artist thinking, oh, we’ll do a history of foley artistry and we’ll somehow work these sounds in. The foley artist they got a interview with was like, these are some of the best…this is some of the best stuff I’ve ever heard. This is a new thing, is like, we're trying to collect sounds that we can't create in…with our limited equipment. This could really help our library. Plus, you got really high-quality audio recordings. These became this legendary…the foley artist said, well, yeah, we can put it on…we can sell it to a catalog or work it out. It ended up paying for them to go to school.

 

But they said, well…the foley artist said, hey, what do you want to be known as? The Clomps, the Corny Clomps? They said…he said, it’s like you did accidental foley. You're accidental foley artists. They said, yeah, let’s just do one, though; the accidental foley artist. Yeah, so, they…that’s how they became the accidental foley artist. Quite a tale never told, but thanks, and goodnight, everybody.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)

Tales Never Told

 

Clog Dance History

https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/Clog-Dancing/

 

https://us.toa.st/blogs/magazine/tracing-the-history-of-the-clog-through-dance-and-movement

 

https://augustaartsandculture.org/how-did-clogging-come-to-the-mountains/

 

The Partridge Family

https://www.remindmagazine.com/article/12319/the-partridge-family-1970s-david-cassidy-shirley-jones/

 

https://www.biography.com/movies-tv/partridge-family-fun-facts

 

https://interviews.televisionacademy.com/shows/partridge-family-the

 

Jazz Dance

https://gotta-dance.com/brief-history-of-jazz-dance/

 

https://uprootedfilm.com/the-historical-roots-and-evolution-of-jazz-dance/

 

https://nationaljazzarchive.org.uk/posts/articles/2021/08/the-history-of-authentic-jazz-dance-part-1?q=

 

Crocs

https://retailwire.com/blog/crocs/

 

https://www.wmagazine.com/story/crocs-jibbitz-shoes-cultural-fashion-history

 

https://quartr.com/insights/company-research/rise-of-the-clog-the-unexpected-success-of-crocs

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

Walking into a sleep interview

Applying for you to barely listen to me

Friendly but forgettable

The Stupor Listener

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Quince; Odoo

 

INTRO

Thoughts that are just making an appearance

My thoughts do a lot of clomping

Defining clomping

I guess we could do another Clomps episode

Thoughts about tap dancers

I’d like to see a tap dancing show no less than 2.5 hours before bed

Tap Dancing Thoughts

You Do You, Us Do Us

I’m always confused when people say, “You do you.”

For the Love of Fosse

Friendly Faucets of Fosse-ing

I see you, tap dancing thoughts

We’re in process of being us

Producing a desire for understanding

I’m supposed to do me?

Can I be me later when I’m more prepared?

I’m sure some of you know how to do you and that’s great

Holding our hands up, saying, “What?”

Some Kind of Welcoming Softness

The world really does need you

It’s understandable to be skeptical, but please just stick around

sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou

People have loathed me as long as this show has been around

Alternatives to dunking on me

Your Bore Friend

Clogging vs Clomping

I’ll have to remember more about the Clomps

Get to know your podcast app settings

 

STORY

A Tale Never Told

When the Clomps meet the Accidental Foley Artist

Cornelia and Cornelius Clomp

Clomp is a stage name

Other families with stage names

Or the Simpsons, wait, they’re animated

The Corny Clomps

How the two Corns became the Accidental Foley Artist(s)

They’d wear clomps to school

Clomps are like clogs

It’s niche

Where I’m from, Irish Dance isn’t niche

The Jazz Genre of Dance

Non-niche dances

Clogging

Other belts besides Borscht Belts

The story of our two Corns

They liked growing up in the Clomp just fine, I guess

But they’re ready to rebel

Always Be Clomping (ABC)

Not all clogs are wooden shoes and vice versa

You probably wouldn’t want to watch the Macy’s Parade in wooden shoes

Nowadays, a composite clog / clomp is most common

I guess it’s kind of like a Croc

This is far enough in the past that one is in Crocs at school

So they were wearing Clompers

Could a clog make a clomping sound? Maybe

Clogs sound like clocks

Or, the sound of the word, “clock”

Do horses clomp?

Clickety Clackety Clock

The Two Corns Clomp

They plan to leave school and go on an adventure together

The end of Junior year / beginning of Senior year

A three-way conversation in my mind

They left school to go to a museum

A project involving history and geography

The history of flooring and its impact on history

The Museum of Organic and Natural Occurrences

They live in a nice, urban area near you

Access to multiple museums

Question about Croc decorations

First they go to the Dino part

Superstructures of Dinos

Their professor told them to tell workers about their project

An audio-focused project

They’re gonna record themselves walking

A Tactile Story

They met a docent

What’s a docent, anyway?

The Decent Docent

They met the right docent for their project

Nature is my Creative Constraint – that’s a T shirt right there

The sound of walking on different floors

The New Clomping Movement

That’s separate from the Great Clomping Movement

Pop Clompers

Walking around in the exhibits

The project will present itself as they do it

I should talk to my friends at I Know Dino about this

I think of 2 dino environments

Dry, sandy area

Grasslands

Swampy area (which is usually just lucite nowadays)

Walking in the sandy area

Kind of like walking on a pumice stone

Pumice Stone: just block it out of your mind

Shuffling, jumping around, playing “Mother May I”

Then they did it in the fake grasslands

A swishy, grassy sound

Believe it or not, people have to clean these things

Who, me? I’m the bone polisher

Bernie the Old Bone Polisher

The proper order for bone cleaning

The Scientific Method and me are more a comedy team than anything else

They did less stunt walking in the grasslands

Then the swampy lucite area

Lucite swamp water

Night at the Museum 5: The Lucite Mopper and the Bone Polisher

Ben Stiller, get back to me about this pitch, please

Lucite is built on a platform, usually

The Brontosaurus room

The Museums in my Mind

Different strata of lucite water

They were really clomping in this lucite swamp

Then they went to the next section of the museum

These museums are changing

They’re not that kinetic

I don’t know my Paleo from my Paleozoic

My jokes are prehistorically inaccurate

Pleistocene, Please, Please!

A room with things that looked like giraffes

Fake snow in a fake arctic tundra

Two Corn twins playing Sister May I

Skipping through a fake tundra

This tundra was a plaster covered in goop

Is that what varnish is?

Some sort of sealant layer

Then they’re told to head on to the next museum

The next exhibit was a bank

I haven’t been in an old-fashioned bank was a while ago

I haven’t been in a bank in like 2 years

This bank probably did have streetmosphere

Clomping along on the carpet

Then they got into a vault with a metal floor!

Interpretive Clomps

Spiritual Clomping is also a thing

Then onto an area that was wet

A popup museum about popup museums in a larger museum

The Smithsonian popup museum

The Museum of Graham Crackers

Walking through discarded graham crackers

A good foot of graham crackers on the floor

Then the Corporate Graham Play Area

Walking through the free samples

Then onto the Gag Museum

Walking on rubber chickens

The sound of clomping on squirting flowers

A very instagrammable room

I trademark this Gag Museum, btw

I’m the opposite of the scientific museum

Explaining the squirting flower

Walking through fake plastic ice cubes and other fake plastic stuff

SWM is now sponsored by and made of lucite

I didn’t think I’d completely ruin my relationship with the scientific method tonight

The Hard Candy Museum

Mini Popup Museums within the Popup Museum

The popsicle popup machine

The Jello Jiggler Museum

The pudding museum

The whipped cream museum

Interesting that graham crackers got a whole museum to themselves…

Pudding has a muck-like consistency

They had a lot of fun

They actually stayed at the museum all weekend

Exhausted and energized

Returning to their family with so many new ideas about clomping

What about a popup museum about clomping?

The whole family starts working on the Clomp Pop Up

They brought all this audio back to school

There’s nothing worse than staring down 4 hours of audio to diligently edit

Tactile History Project

A manufactured historical area, not a real historical area

Is there anything else they could do?

Theme parks used to have sound experiences

Live theme park shows that featured a foley artist

They brought their sounds to a foley artist

These are great sounds for our sound library!

They sold the sounds and paid for school!

That’s how they became the Accidental Foley Artist

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1376

Title: Clomps and The Accidental Foley Artist

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Quince; Odoo

Notable Language:

• Friendly but forgettable
• The Stupor Listener
• Clomp
• Tap Dancing Thoughts
• You Do You, Us Do Us
• For the Love of Fosse
• Friendly Faucets of Fosse-ing
• Some Kind of Welcoming Softness
• Alternatives to dunking on me
• The Corny Clomps
• Always Be Clomping (ABC)
• Clompers
• Clickety Clackety Clock
• Tactile Story
• The Decent Docent
• Nature is my Creative Constraint
• The New Clomping Movement
• Pop Clompers
• Bone Polisher
• The Museums in my Mind
• Pleistocene, Please, Please!
• Sealant Layer
• Interpretive Clomps
• Lucite
• Mini Popup Museums within the Popup Museum
• Clomp Pop Up

 

Notable Culture:

• • Bob Fosse
  • sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
  • Boris Karloff
  • The Partridge Family
  • Jazz Dance
  • Borscht Belt
  • Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade
  • “These Boots Are Made For Walking” song
  • Croc Shoes
  • The Museum of Organic and Natural Occurrences
  • Smithsonian

• I Know Dino podcast

• Night at the Museum 5: The Lucite Mopper and the Bone Polisher

• Ben Stiller
• Teddy Grahams
• Keebler
• Muppets / Muppetvision 3D

 

Notable Talking Points:

• Thoughts that are just making an appearance
• My thoughts do a lot of clomping
• Defining clomping
• I guess we could do another Clomps episode
• Thoughts about tap dancers
• I’d like to see a tap dancing show no less than 2.5 hours before bed
• Tap Dancing Thoughts
• You Do You, Us Do Us
• I’m always confused when people say, “You do you.”
• For the Love of Fosse
• Friendly Faucets of Fosse-ing
• I see you, tap dancing thoughts
• We’re in process of being us
• Producing a desire for understanding
• I’m supposed to do me?
• Can I be me later when I’m more prepared?
• I’m sure some of you know how to do you and that’s great
• Holding our hands up, saying, “What?”
• Some Kind of Welcoming Softness
• The world really does need you
• It’s understandable to be skeptical, but please just stick around
• sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
• People have loathed me as long as this show has been around
• Alternatives to dunking on me
• Your Bore Friend
• Clogging vs Clomping
• I’ll have to remember more about the Clomps
• Get to know your podcast app settings
• A Tale Never Told
• When the Clomps meet the Accidental Foley Artist
• Cornelia and Cornelius Clomp
• Clomp is a stage name
• Other families with stage names
• Or the Simpsons, wait, they’re animated
• The Corny Clomps
• How the two Corns became the Accidental Foley Artist(s)
• They’d wear clomps to school
• Clomps are like clogs
• It’s niche
• Where I’m from, Irish Dance isn’t niche
• The Jazz Genre of Dance
• Non-niche dances
• Clogging
• Other belts besides Borscht Belts
• The story of our two Corns
• They liked growing up in the Clomp just fine, I guess
• But they’re ready to rebel
• Always Be Clomping (ABC)
• Not all clogs are wooden shoes and vice versa
• You probably wouldn’t want to watch the Macy’s Parade in wooden shoes
• Nowadays, a composite clog / clomp is most common
• I guess it’s kind of like a Croc
• This is far enough in the past that one is in Crocs at school
• So they were wearing Clompers
• Could a clog make a clomping sound? Maybe
• Clogs sound like clocks
• Or, the sound of the word, “clock”
• Do horses clomp?
• Clickety Clackety Clock
• The Two Corns Clomp
• They plan to leave school and go on an adventure together
• The end of Junior year / beginning of Senior year
• A three-way conversation in my mind
• They left school to go to a museum
• A project involving history and geography
• The history of flooring and its impact on history
• The Museum of Organic and Natural Occurrences
• They live in a nice, urban area near you
• Access to multiple museums
• Question about Croc decorations
• First they go to the Dino part
• Superstructures of Dinos
• Their professor told them to tell workers about their project
• An audio-focused project
• They’re gonna record themselves walking
• A Tactile Story
• They met a docent
• What’s a docent, anyway?
• The Decent Docent
• They met the right docent for their project
• Nature is my Creative Constraint – that’s a T shirt right there
• The sound of walking on different floors
• The New Clomping Movement
• That’s separate from the Great Clomping Movement
• Pop Clompers
• Walking around in the exhibits
• The project will present itself as they do it
• I should talk to my friends at I Know Dino about this
• I think of 2 dino environments
• Dry, sandy area
• Grasslands
• Swampy area (which is usually just lucite nowadays)
• Walking in the sandy area
• Kind of like walking on a pumice stone
• Pumice Stone: just block it out of your mind
• Shuffling, jumping around, playing “Mother May I”
• Then they did it in the fake grasslands
• A swishy, grassy sound
• Believe it or not, people have to clean these things
• Who, me? I’m the bone polisher
• Bernie the Old Bone Polisher
• The proper order for bone cleaning
• The Scientific Method and me are more a comedy team than anything else
• They did less stunt walking in the grasslands
• Then the swampy lucite area
• Lucite swamp water
• Night at the Museum 5: The Lucite Mopper and the Bone Polisher
• Ben Stiller, get back to me about this pitch, please
• Lucite is built on a platform, usually
• The Brontosaurus room
• The Museums in my Mind
• Different strata of lucite water
• They were really clomping in this lucite swamp
• Then they went to the next section of the museum
• These museums are changing
• They’re not that kinetic
• I don’t know my Paleo from my Paleozoic
• My jokes are prehistorically inaccurate
• Pleistocene, Please, Please!
• A room with things that looked like giraffes
• Fake snow in a fake arctic tundra
• Two Corn twins playing Sister May I
• Skipping through a fake tundra
• This tundra was a plaster covered in goop
• Is that what varnish is?
• Some sort of sealant layer
• Then they’re told to head on to the next museum
• The next exhibit was a bank
• I haven’t been in an old-fashioned bank was a while ago
• I haven’t been in a bank in like 2 years
• This bank probably did have streetmosphere
• Clomping along on the carpet
• Then they got into a vault with a metal floor!
• Interpretive Clomps
• Spiritual Clomping is also a thing
• Then onto an area that was wet
• A popup museum about popup museums in a larger museum
• The Smithsonian popup museum
• The Museum of Graham Crackers
• Walking through discarded graham crackers
• A good foot of graham crackers on the floor
• Then the Corporate Graham Play Area
• Walking through the free samples
• Then onto the Gag Museum
• Walking on rubber chickens
• The sound of clomping on squirting flowers
• A very instagrammable room
• I trademark this Gag Museum, btw
• I’m the opposite of the scientific museum
• Explaining the squirting flower
• Walking through fake plastic ice cubes and other fake plastic stuff
• SWM is now sponsored by and made of lucite
• I didn’t think I’d completely ruin my relationship with the scientific method tonight
• The Hard Candy Museum
• Mini Popup Museums within the Popup Museum
• The popsicle popup machine
• The Jello Jiggler Museum
• The pudding museum
• The whipped cream museum
• Interesting that graham crackers got a whole museum to themselves…
• Pudding has a muck-like consistency
• They had a lot of fun
• They actually stayed at the museum all weekend
• Exhausted and energized
• Returning to their family with so many new ideas about clomping
• What about a popup museum about clomping?
• The whole family starts working on the Clomp Pop Up
• They brought all this audio back to school
• There’s nothing worse than staring down 4 hours of audio to diligently edit
• Tactile History Project
• A manufactured historical area, not a real historical area
• Is there anything else they could do?
• Theme parks used to have sound experiences
• Live theme park shows that featured a foley artist
• They brought their sounds to a foley artist
• These are great sounds for our sound library!
• They sold the sounds and paid for school!
• That’s how they became the Accidental Foley Artist