1354 – The Borefriend Code | All Intros 949-952 for Memorial Day

Episode 1354 – The Borefriend Code | All Intros 949 – 952 for Memorial Day

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who’s here not to put a spring in your step but to be cushiony and flexible like a spring. Welcome to Sleep With Me, the podcast that’s here to put you to sleep. I’m really glad you're here if you're new. Or if you're regular listeners, holy moly, am I glad you're here. But either way, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep, which is a bit different than most podcasts. Yeah, I’m here to…I already got mixed up. I may have just fallen asleep there quickly. But if you're new, this show is kinda like a friend in the deep, dark night versus some meditative thing to make you fall asleep. I’m here to be with you and keep you company so you could fall asleep.

 

It is a bit different, particularly this episode. Because it’s a long weekend here in the US, this is for Memorial Day, and I’ll just be doing intro after intro after intro. This is one of the more popular things we do. People…I just looked and there’s about 200 all-intro episodes on Sleep With Me+ that bore-friends and bore-besties get, which I’m pretty sure is almost a thousand…800 to 1000 intros put together that you could listen to. Some people like them. But basically, this show has an intro. It starts off to carry you…to help you unwind, and then…I’ll explain it all later. I’m already mixed up. But yeah, I’m really glad you're here. If you're just checking the show out, just give it a few tries. You got nothing to lose. I’m here to be your friend. I’m like applying for this role. So, just…yeah, just see how it goes. Give it a few tries.

 

But yeah, what we got coming up is support so paying for the show is optional, then a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, and then tonight will be intro after intro after intro. Only the first intro will have music in it, though. So, the intros almost become a strange, convoluted bedtime story in their…in and of themselves. So, yeah, I’m really glad you're here. I appreciate you checking the show out if you're new, and I’m so glad you're back if you've…coming back, and alls I really want to do is help you fall asleep by just being your bore-bud in the deep, dark night. So, thanks so much for coming by, and here’s a couple ways how we do it.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do…I’m just gonna attempt to do it…I do sound like…let me get away any misconceptions. I know I do sound like a daring…whatever those people are. A stunt performer? I forget what they're called. What I’m going to attempt to do, though, is not do a trapeze or…I guess it is a bit of a…it’s a bit of a low-wire act, 'cause I don't even want to use that other word. It’s a wire that’s so close to the ground…I guess I’d say, where else am I gonna get started?

 

Like, put the wire on the ground? You think I’m gonna…? That’s the best place…I guess I’m just wondering. They say, well, it’s actually…actually, we never thought of that. I said, isn't this the Low Wire Institute of Performance-Based…? They say, no. This is just the hardware store, sir. Once again, we…and I said, oh boy…well, I just wanted to come in. I find it very soothing to come in and handle your coils. I mean, or spools. I like to just come in, and I realize…I try to re-spool everything I unspool. I don't think I make it as nice as it does, but…you know, in those big box stores, it’s just not the same. I don't even know if they have spools in there, but…that you could just…I know. I support you, though.

 

Every time I need something and I remember to come here and then I overcome my resistance to go anywhere or to do anything and then to do anything that might be helpful, I’ll come here. Then I get distracted by the…were you listening when I was pretending I was going to be…? ‘Cause believe it or not, while I’m talking to you, I’m also supposed to be introducing a podcast. But were you listening in while I was unspooling and re-spooling this…? Yeah, maybe…you're right; maybe we should do an episode about this tonight. It’s possible. So, anyway, sorry about that, listeners. I got off track really early. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you…excuse me, I’ll be back to my shopping here…your store. Also, is there an Ace…? Or is Ace a name or is it…?

 

‘Cause the other place…and what happened? I prefer to go someplace where I say, I don't know if I am looking for an ace. I’m looking for a value that’s true. I know you got…there is that good jingle you have. I never know how it ends, though. I know Ace is a place for your helpful something…friendly something hardware stuff. Oh, the listeners just corrected me. Thanks, listeners. So anyway, I’m here. What I’m gonna attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts you're thinking about…now you may have a few. You say, wait a second, is that how those balancing acts get started? I mean, I remember when Scoots talked about when he was a gym school…gymnast school dropout.

 

I mean, I was…I’m no Pinky Tuscadero, believe me, but I did drop out of gym…whatever it was. It was a gymnastics…gymnastics; that’s what they call it. I’ve talked about this. It’s been a few years, and I probably shouldn't do it at the very beginning of a sleep podcast when I already went off topic once, but I mean, why not, right? Well, I just…I’m trying to figure out a way to do it…well, I got to gym…I said, mom, I gotta…it was…must have been after one of the big Olympics, and I identified with one…some of the Olympians. I mean, it was definitely women’s gymnastics. No offense to men’s gymnastics, but I said, I gotta tumble. I gotta spring off this spring…the springer…spring horse or whatever they call it, and I gotta pom…I gotta pommel that thing. She said, okay, well, I’ll look into it.

 

I want to help foster your dreams as a young lad. This was when my mom still had…before…this was the before time before she realized what she had her hands full of. She said, so, you're sure about this? I said, as sure as I was about everything else. I’m sure. I gotta spring. I gotta spring into the sky and flip around, and I’m as uneven as…I’m gonna make those uneven bars…yeah, for sure, mom. I’m into it. Then the first day of gymnastics class, they had us run down towards the pommel horse and step on the jumpy thing, and that was it. I said, what time…? Okay…this is an hour, right? Like, what time are we gonna be doing the flips? I’d like to get in a…the teacher said, well, have you flipped before? I said, if…teach, if I was…if I had flipped before, I would…I’d be outside doing flips. No, I have not.

 

She said, well, this is a introductory class. I said, right; the introduction to pommelling and springing, whatever this thing’s called. I want to…like the Americans, the Romanians, and the Russians, I gotta be…I gotta do…I gotta fly free. I don't think I knew who Nadia Comaneci was, 'cause I think that was a little bit before me, but I probably said, I gotta…you know. She said, well, that’s not…we're just running…and I said, well, I mean, I can run up and down…so, that was the end of my gymnastics career. I never went back, 'cause…my mom said, well, how was gymnastics? I said, well, we just ran up and down an aisle and stepped on a springboard, but we didn’t even spring off  it. Also, I realized that it was gonna take a lot of…who would have thought you can't just do a triple Lutz right then?

 

That’s exactly…if you're into this, that’s how you end up making a sleep podcast. Those are the stages of…one of the…you say, what are the form…? It must have been some formative experiences that really guided you towards this calling. I’d say, yeah, like the time I dropped out of gymnastics class or the time I made my piano teacher cry or the times I made my tap teacher, tap-dancing teacher, exasperated, or…yeah. Or is it something else? So, anyway, if you're here…I’m here to create a safe place to take your mind off whatever’s keeping you awake. I’m sorry I’m so…if you're new…for a regular listener, this is a treat, am I right? But for a new listener, let me tell you; whatever’s keeping you awake, I’m here to take your mind off of that. It could be thoughts, feelings, or physical sensations, changes or travel or just stuff.

 

Whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, I’m here to take your mind off that. What I’m gonna do is try to create a safe place, then I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, I’m gonna go off topic and keep you company and all that. But if you're new, usually I try to get to this stuff sooner, but you might have figured it out already. This podcast is very different and not normal, and it’s made by someone that fits those…if those are monikers…this show is made by a gymnastics-class dropout. I wouldn't say I dropped out of piano class, because that was actually what taught me how to drop out of stuff, because I don't know why I couldn't drop out of piano class, but I just couldn't.

 

I couldn't…I didn’t have the moral or whatever…the turp…I don't know if that’s turpitude, though I probably was the same age. But I said, that’s where I learned all my all…some of my great all-or-nothing ways of living. Kids, don’t live like a all-or-nothing person like me. You either take piano class for twenty-five years and you never learn piano or you go to…there’s a happy medium. You could do to ten gymnastics classes and then say, oh, have I progressed or not? Or ten piano lessons and actually practice, maybe, and maybe be more open-minded about it. But it’s okay. We're all…we’ve all been children, and some of us are just a little bit more childish. That’s just the truth. Some of us have trouble getting back to the point. So, if you're new, a couple things to know. One, I’m an acquired taste. So, there’s that.

 

So, if you haven't acquired the taste for me, there’s no wrong…that’s totally natural. Actually, ninety percent of our listeners, they say it takes two or three episodes to acquire a taste for this podcast, to not listen to it. I’m not quoting exactly, but they say, don’t…so don’t be like me and just run…you say, wait a second, the guy didn’t put me to sleep. He just talked about gymnastics class, even though the episode was called Unspooling something…Unspooling My Dreams. I said, well, hubba, hubba. I say, you definitely got the wrong podcast, then. This is not Cinemax. But so, anyway…so, this podcast is a bit different, but the thing is, you don’t really listen to it.

 

If you're still trying to make sense of it or wait to get started, kinda start to tune me out or loosely pay attention, kinda like I’m a piece of tracing paper or something that you barely…you say, okay…because the podcast never really gets started. It kinda just putters along on a meandering path, and then I loop back. Also, this podcast really doesn't put you to sleep. It’s just here to keep you company as you drift off. That’s why the shows are about an hour, to give you plenty of time. But also, if you can't sleep, you…oh wait, I’m gonna be here to the very end to keep you company. So, I’m here whether you're awake or asleep. So, that’s one of my jobs. Other things to know is…let’s see, what else do you need to know…is structure of the show.

 

The show starts off with an intro; ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, then…that’s so you know everybody’s welcome here. Then there’s business. That’s how we keep the show coming out twice a week on the regular, then there’s an intro. The intro goes from about minute four or six or something to minute twenty, twenty-two, and that’s where I try to introduce the podcast as you've seen, and then I immediately get distracted and go off topic, sometimes twice, with…we already visited a hardware store and a gymnastics class and got a little insight into my childhood. So, those are all things that in a normal intro you would cut out, or you would say, here’s a sleep podcast. Let’s get on to the sleepy stuff.

 

This is Sleepy McSleeps, and I’m here to stuff up your pillow full of dreams. You say, well, if my pillow’s stuffed with dreams, how am I supposed to sleep? Because they’re supposed to be in my head. You say, okay, well…but so, this pod…what was I saying? Oh, so, the intro, it doesn't get to the point, but it’s really part of the show. A lot of listeners use it to wind down and get some distance between the day and the night, whether you're in bed or you're getting ready for bed or it’s during the day and you need a break, however you want to use it. So, those…that’s the intro. Then there’s business between the intro and the episode. That’s the structure of podcasting, is this thing called a mid-roll. So, that’s essential to bringing the podcast.

 

Then there will be our story, which now, after this intro, I say, well, I guess our story’s gonna be about unspooling dreams somehow. So, that’ll be interesting. So, there will be our story; that’ll be about forty-five, fifty minutes, and then there will be some thank-yous at the end. So, that’s the structure of the show. Yeah, you don’t really need to listen or pay attention. Then the reasons I make the show is, one, because I’ve been there. I know how it feels in the deep, dark night, tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep. So, I’m happy to help if I can, because I say, well, I don't like that. Then the other reason is because you deserve a good night's sleep. I believe that you do deserve a good night's sleep, a place where you can have some solace and some rest and some comfort.

 

If you do…if this podcast can help you do it, then that makes the world a better place. You say, well, it’s not that big a deal. I say, well, it is to me. I really do believe that it’s a little…it’s important that you deserve a place where you could be rested tomorrow and flourish. Now, the flip side of it is, like I said, this podcast just doesn't work for everybody. Not everybody likes me — and I totally accept that — or they don’t like my voice or the style of the show. It just doesn't work for them. There is other sleep podcasts and sleep audio out there. It’s getting more and more popular. But so, I hope you find something that works for you…or fans or music, whatever it is.

 

But give this show a couple tries at least if you're having trouble sleeping already — or, usually somebody recommends this podcast — and just see how it goes. But yeah, I’m really happy and I’d be honored to help in any way I can, and I appreciate you coming by. I really appreciate you checking the show out. I yearn and I strive because I really want to help you fall asleep. So, thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to bring you this podcast twice a week, right on time, Sunday and Wednesday. Thanks.

 

Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. That could be thoughts on your mind, things you're thinking about from the the past, the present, or future, feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally, anything that’s just there emotionally or physical sensations, or it could be changes in schedule or time or temperature, you know, stuff. It could be…whatever it is.

 

Whatever’s keeping you awake, I’m here…I’m gonna be…try to be here for you to take your mind off of stuff and to keep you company so that you can fall asleep or at least be comfortable or be kind of comforted by me. I say, kind of comforted, I say, barely comforted, but like trans…the old translucent blanket. You say, Scoots, what’s a translucent blanket? I’d say, well, I should probably get to the podcast intro. It’s just something I just thought of as an analogy for Sleep With Me. It’s a real thing and it’s…oh boy, is it the latest thing or what? We did a Kickstarter, we did a Gogo, we did it all in my imagination, and we launched it, and then I forgot about it, and then I just thought of it for the first time. So, it probably involves some time travel. I should probably come back to this translucent blanket thing.

 

But yeah, so what I’m gonna do…hopefully I’ll remember that. But before that, I was like, oh, I could talk about artificial flavors. So, maybe we’ll find a way to mash it up or I’ll just forget about it. But so, what I’m gonna do…and you just witnessed one of the things I do. But the first thing I do is I send my voice to you across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones full of imperfection and a vibration that’s hopefully comforting to the people it can comfort, and…creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders; that was…I think I’ve had two already, or one pointless meander and one…guaranteed with your translucent blanket advertisement, pointless meanders and superfluous tangents.

 

What that means is I’m gonna…my voice is a little bit different, I go off topic, I start to talk about something, I get mixed up, I double back, I lose all meaning. That’s what they said, the first reviewers that we sent it out to. We said, okay, we're sending you this, just so you know, so you can give us a good review. Companies never really are straightforward. They send you something…there’s a note in the box; hey, please review us, which I understand from making a content business. But it might…I guess you can't do that. You say, hey, I’m gonna…I guess they do do that, but it didn’t work with translucent blankets. People said, we couldn't get…I forgot what the bad review was I already said. Superfluous; they said, this blanket’s superfluous. I said, that’s right. It’s an extra blanket.

 

That’s the exact definition of a superfluous blanket, right? Or no? Okay, but what I’m gonna do is…I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep. So, if you're new, there’s a couple important things to know that you kinda already have gotten a sampling of. This is a podcast that you don’t really listen to, just like a superfluous blanket. It’s superfluous. I like that word. It comes out of my mouth sometimes. When you're…they say, what’s that? It’s a superfluous blanket. It’s superfluous. Maybe we add in an extra ‘burr’ for the season, you know? Or when you're watching Hamilton. Hamilton with an H; not Amilton. That’s the ham-based Hamilton parody that does not exist either, just like this blanket. But it’s superfluous, which…so, an extra blanket. You don’t use it on your bed. It’s not your main blanket.

 

It’s not your backup blankets for if you get chilly. It’s not your warm-weather blanket. It may not even be your couch blanket, or as they call it in the last ten or twenty years, a throw, though I prefer…I’m not…I don't need a blanket most of the time when I’m on the couch unless I’m trying to take a nap. But this blanket is superfluous, or…and that’s why it’s translucent. Now, it’s not 100% translucent, so you can find it. Otherwise you'd say, what, are you in the business of selling millions of blankets? I say, yeah, the invisible blanket. You don’t buy it once. If you like…that’d be a tough thing. You'd have to really love the invisible blanket to keep buying it over and over again as you lose them.

 

Then, whatever…we’d have to be licensed and bonded by some great company, or underwritten, because people would be trip…they say, I tripped over my invisible blanket pile. But we solved that. Then we tried that out in another universe. Sold a lot of blankets. We did. That’s why I’m banned from that universe. But this blanket is translucent. It’s not transparent. So, I just want to…you know, whatever, rulers of Earth, this Earth, just so you know, it’s not transparent. It’s translucent. It’s for uses when you barely need it, just like…but it’s there…when it’s there, it’s handy. I don't know. You know, a couch blanket…some…now, I know there’s couch-blanket users, but then there’s people like me that…just like you listen to this podcast; you say, well, it’s on my couch. It’s thrown there.

 

I mean, I actually love my couch blanket 'cause it’s made from sleeping-bag material. I don't know if anybody else does, and definitely if I had anyone in my life that wanted something to look good, they’d say, that blanket does not…that’s not a throw. That’s a sleeping bag blanket. I say, yeah, it’s nice…I love it. But it’s like a extra blanket. So, the podcast is kinda here just like that. You say, well, you kinda barely listen to it, and then…I don't know, I guess maybe it’s not like that at all, but it kind of is. It’s the same spirit. It’s there when you need it, but you don’t have to pay it any mind. The blanket…I can't…I mean, I guess in this case I will speak for all throws and couch blankets, superfluous blankets, transparent blankets…invisible blankets; by the way, they don’t work covering you up.

 

For some…you can…you can't use it like in the movies where you just cover yourself and you're invisible. People see right through the blanket and they see you. Unfortunately I found that out the hard way when they said, finally we're gonna find out who…this fool who sold us billions of invisible blankets. They said, we could see you right there under the pile of blankets. I said, well, in Harry Potter and all the other stuff, this always…every movie…I’ve never seen a movie where an invisible blanket gave away the person hiding under it. Oh, but I was supposed to be talking about something of substance. So, just don’t listen to me. Like, barely kind of listen. The blankets, they don’t mind. Some of them do, but on the most part, they say, that’s what I’m here for. I’m a on-call blanket.

 

That’s how they view it, the couch blankets, throws, even blankets in closets. They're not really…they don’t have any resentments or anything. They just say, well, I’m ready. When you need me, I’m ready. ‘Cause also, blankets have…they have memories shorter than a fish, except for the memories that are part of their DNA, which is being ready for blanketing or being made into a fort or a cape or used in performances. So, that’s what they say; I’m ready when…oh, what were you…? Did you ask me a question or did you need me? I’m ready. That’s the…oh, that’s another book I’ll have coming out one day, Conversations with Blankets. Really…okay, but so, I’m trying to explain what the podcast is. So, just barely listen to me, like a cloud or…yeah, I think I’ve…I’m blanketing this with blanket metaphors.

 

So, that’s one thing. The other thing is I’m not really here to put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep. I’m here to distract you, to be your friend in the deep, dark night or your companion or your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie, your bore-bruh, whatever you're comfortable with, and keep you company and tell you a story or talk to you in the beginning of the show as you fall asleep. So…and then if you can't sleep, that’s why the shows are an hour. Plenty of time to drift off. But if you can't sleep, you know I’m gonna be here to keep you company. Or if you need me during the day, I’m here. Or if you say, well, I got twelve hours of coding or twelve hours of applying undercoat, I say, don't worry. You can listen to Sleep With Me. So, those are the first two things if you're new.

 

The third thing is most people, probably, that get to this podcast don’t like it when they first start listening. Not everybody sticks around, but most of the people it works for…though I do get e-mails of people saying it worked for me on the first try, or I understood the style of the show right away. But most people…it takes two or three tries to get used to the podcast because it’s different and because I’m an acquired taste. You may not acquire a taste for me, just like I said at the ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary part. I know…I never acquired the taste for art…the artificial flavors of strawberry or watermelon. While I love real strawberry and real water…no, I strongly…I enjoy real strawberry and real watermelon. Sorry, I had to take that back. I’m not…that’s a big, strong word, love.

 

Like, blueberries? Love blueberries. Strawberries and…what was the other one? Watermelon. I really like them. Love in the right context…so, wow, I just alienated two…I don't know, are those fruits are vegetables? ‘Cause then people say, well, that’s a vegetable, actually. So, whether watermelons and strawberries…or…and I also alienated two artificial flavors. Sorry about that. It’s just…it’s not you; it’s me. I’m trying not to alienate the new listeners. So, just give this show a few tries — that’s what tons and tons of listeners say — and see how it goes. The other things that throw new people off is the structure of the show.

 

Things that throw people off about the podcast; my voice, my meanders, that the podcast barely ever goes anywhere, that you don’t need to listen to me, my mild attempts at…my humor-like interludes, my strained metaphors, the fact that I don't know my rear from an idiom. So, those are some of the things. Also, structure can…another thing people feel strongly about. The structure’s built so the podcast can be here, and just over the years, this is the way the show has evolved so that it can benefit the most number of people. So, it starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcome in the deep, dark night if you're sleepless, if you're lonely, if you're looking for some place with a goofball to take your mind off of stuff.

 

Then there’s listener support and show support and sponsor stuff, and that’s so the podcast can be here for you, and that’s around four or six minutes. Then there’s the intro, which we're in now, and the intro is usually around twenty minutes of me overexplaining what the podcast is and going off topic like you've witnessed so far, and that can really throw new people off, 'cause they expect the podcast to get started right away or get to the story, and the reason it doesn't is so I can ease you into bedtime, so I can give you some distance between the daytime and the sleep time, and that regular listeners can start to wind down. Because the idea is, at least with Sleep With Me, is it doesn't put you to sleep right away.

 

It helps you wind down, gives you something to barely pay attention to, ideally when you're starting out, while you're winding down, doing other stuff, or getting ready for bed. Then the story starts, and then the next thing you know, you're asleep, or you don’t notice. That’s the ideal thing, is I ease you into bedtime, and then you never notice me and you fall asleep. Like, you forget you're listening, which is easy with this show. After you listen to it two or three times, you say, what did Scoots say? I don't know. I forgot. That’s the common…that’s the number-one conversation about Sleep With Me with people that listen…both…two people in their lives listen, or even not. Like, a partner that doesn't listen says, what was Scoots talking about last night? I don't know. I don't remember. Blue…maybe blueberries.

 

He may have gone on one of his tangents about berries and using ‘berry’ to start every word, or he might have talked about Boo Berry and cereal. I don't know. I don't remember. That’s me hitting a home run and a touchdown grand slam with a spike serve and a twirly…with a twirl at the end, and then dunking it and then doing some sort of dance, like where I’m signing checks or whatever, like a celebratory dance. When someone says, I forgot what he was…I don't know. I don't remember what Scoots was talking about, but I barely listened. That’s it. That’s peak me. So, that’s what…the intro eases you into bedtime, then there’s business between the intro and the story. That’s where companies want their business.

 

That’s…it’s just the way podcast structure works, so…and that business enables the podcast to be here for you for free versus being behind a paywall. Then there’s the story. Tonight it’ll be our episodically modular story, which finally has a title that I probably forgot. Journey into the Land of Tomorrow, I think it’s called. I think that was Episode 3 or 4 it took to…but if…you'll know…it’ll be called that even when you get…when you start listening. So…oh, so there will be the story, and the story will go forty-five, fifty minutes. I think yesterday when I recorded it, it was around fifty-two or fifty-three minutes. So, yeah. So, there’s the story…or maybe it was longer than that. I don't remember anymore. But then there’s thank-yous at the end. So, that’s the structure of the show.

 

The last thing I want you to know is the reason I make the show is because I’ve been there. I’ve been there tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, waking up. Last night I had…I was playing a theme park management video game, and I knew I shouldn't play it…even two hours before bedtime I shouldn't be playing any video games. I just wanted…I said, okay, just gonna get a thirty-minute…this tutorial. It’s a game my daughter plays. It’s not Roller Coaster Tycoon, but that’s number-one in my heart, and I have the old version on my phone. But so, it’s another game my daughter likes. So, she said, dad, just do the tutorials, okay? So, I said, okay, I’ll try to do one. I said, I want to be done by 9:30, which doesn't get…didn’t give me two hours, so I was already pushing my luck.

 

But then it was like, 10:00 before I shut the console off. That didn’t work, because it just stayed latent by…that in my mind, my subconscious was still playing the video game. I don't know if that happens to anybody else, or other stuff, and it messed up my sleep. I’m just being honest. I slept…'cause my brain…I said, well, I’m not playing a video game, and I don't care where the slushy stand goes, and it’s…it wasn’t stressing me out when I was playing the game. So, I’ve been there. That’s what I’m trying to say, and I know how it feels. That situation or a lot of other ones…I know sometimes it could feel lonely, painful, exhausting, frustrating, and a lot of other feelings I’ve had. If I can help with that, of course it would be my honor. It would really make me feel good to help you, since I’ve experienced that.

 

I can sympathize with wanting some help. So, I hope this podcast can work for you there. The other reason is — and it goes along with that — you deserve a good night's sleep. You deserve a place you can rest. You deserve an opportunity to live a fuller life or manage…have things feel a little bit more manageable when you're rested, and all the other benefits that come along with that. So, if I can help you on the road to that with other…setting up a bedtime routine and having Sleep With Me be a part of it…and some listeners graduate from listening to the show. Some people, it becomes part of their routine. Other people, they move on.

 

That’s great either way, because you deserve it and our world will be a better place when you're rested, because your world’s better, your life’s better. You deserve that. Those are reasons I make the show. Also because I love going…I say, wait a second, I didn’t even…fully explored my relationship with imitation strawberry or translucent blankets, but…yeah. In the end, I’m glad you're here. I hope you give the show a few tries, because it’s free, to see if it can help you. I appreciate you coming by. I work really hard. I yearn and I strive, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to bring you the show for free twice a week.

 

Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, thing you're thinking about on your mind, feelings…so, thoughts about the past, the present, or future, any emotions or feelings coming up for you…I know we’ve talked about emotions and emoting, but have we talked about remotes and emotes? ‘Remote’ and ‘emote’ rhyme. I probably realized that before.

 

But if there’s feelings keeping you awake…it could be physical sensations, it could be some sort of change in your life or your routine, sit…could be situational stuff or seasonal stuff or just some noise. I don't know, the term ‘refurbishment’ is something like hotels and theme parks use, but if you're nearby a refurbish…I mean, I feel like I’ve been going…I could use a refurbishment. But whatever’s keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off that. What I’m gonna do is I got this safe place I’m gonna set aside. I’m gonna rub it, I’m gonna smooth it, I’m gonna pat it down, I’m gonna say ‘safe place’, I’m gonna set this…I have this safe place smoothed and patted and set aside, and what I’ll do is I’ll send my voice across the deep, dark night.

 

I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents. So, it means I’ll go off topic, I’ll get mixed up, then I’ll say, huh, I never thought of that. Anyway…and then I’ll go off topic again in a meandering way where you say, well, at least if you're gonna…'cause some people go off topic, but they get to the point, and then they get back…but I don't do that. But all that is to keep you company while you fall asleep, to take your mind off of stuff. That’s really my job. That’s the first thing if you're new…I’m so glad you're here. Regular listeners, how about a round of silent applause or finger applause? Or, people don’t really raise the roof anymore, but you could do a one-handed raising…I call it the curl bump, like poofing your hair in a…we gotta come up with something like that.

 

Maybe that’ll be it. We’ll cup our elbows, we’ll kiss our shoulders in honor of the new listeners. Oh, new listeners, we're so glad you're here. Yeah, I’m cupping my elbows, man. That is soothing. Holy moly. Talk about underrated. Here’s another thing; if somebody says ‘are you crossing your arms and glaring?’…you could…you should only use this when you're telling the truth, but you say, no, I’m cupping my elbows and chill…in a thoughtful, soothing way, is what I’m doing. Have you ever cupped your elbows? What’s the difference between folding your arms across your chest and cupping your elbows? Intention, man. I’m not aware my arms…my arms are crossed for a purpose so my hands can cup my elbows, just like Elton John sang; cup me softly, tiny elbows. He never sang that song, but…cup me gently.

 

I’m an elbow. That’s what he sang. Also, he might have said that other one. Oh, how I cup you, tiny elbow. So, anyway, if you're new, what I wanted you to know is…a few things you might want to know. One, this podcast is pretty different, and it’s not everybody’s cup of tea. But the people who eventually like it…and that’s…I’ll just be honest with you; eventually like it, they say it took two or three times. Because even people that listen to Elton John, podcasts, or body-awareness podcasts, you probably never heard all those things associated at once, or introversion podcasts. You say, I don't know if that would make sense on any of those anyway, Scoots. I’d say, well, yeah, put together, they make sense on a sleep podcast, barely.

 

So, that’s…Part 1 is kind of a two…Part 1’s a two-parter. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, so give it a few tries and see how it goes. But this is also not a podcast you really listen to. I think that’s one thing that throws new people off, 'cause you're listening. That’s why I try to take this time to tell you and tell it again and again, to say, that’s okay. It’s okay you're listening to me right now. Maybe it leads to you cupping your elbows. I’m gonna cup one elbow. Not as good as cupping two elbows. Oh, what do I mean by cupping? Just holding in the palm of my hand. Or, well, more my fingers, my cupped fingers. My fingers are cupped and my elbow is in it. So, I’m cupping my elbows. ICUP’ing your elbows. You say, wait a second…any kids, feel free to giggle, or adults, kids at heart. ICUPP’ing your elbows. I say, you do?

 

‘Cause that would be hard to pull off. I probably…it wouldn't be good for my back. Oh, so, I’m a podcast you barely listen to. Acquired taste…that’s okay. It’s…also takes a few times to realize you kinda just barely listen to me. I’m here to keep you company, but I’m your friend that doesn't make a lot of sense or that doesn't talk about…you say, well, we're friends, 'cause I like being around you, but we really don’t share a whole lot of interests. Like, you know when you're around a friend you really feel comfortable about, or when you miss…right now I got that forlorn missing-my-friend feeling…of the friends you could be around, and there’s no social pressure at all…you could be in a car and you could not talk for hours. You could be in a car and you could not talk for hours. You say, this was…that was great.

 

I didn’t feel like…I say, why didn’t you talk to me that whole…? I say, oh, I didn’t realize that. I really enjoyed…that’s what I love about you. I don't gotta talk to you. Well, I was talking the whole time about my miniature collection and the history of Funko. I say, oh, oh yeah, no, no, I remember that part. I was talking about me. So, this podcast, there’s no guilt, though. ‘Cause you say, that’s what I’m here for. You don’t have to listen. I’m here to talk and say stuff that you just barely have to pay attention to. This podcast also does not put you to sleep. So, not only is it a podcast you're supposed to…normally you'd listen to. This one you don’t, really. It’s also a sleep podcast. We were kinda like the original sleep podcast, but we don’t put anybody to sleep. It’s irony, I think.

 

I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep and not…and then if you can't sleep…this is the only podcast that puts people to sleep, but if you can't sleep, I’m here to keep you company, and that’s really my strongest and highest mission, is to be here whether you need me or not, so that you could count on me to be…I’ll be here rambling. So, those are a couple things that throw new people off; the podcast is a bit different, takes some getting used to, you don’t really listen to it, it doesn't really put you to sleep, it just keeps you company. The other thing is the structure of the show, and it serves a purpose but it definitely is not like the structure of other shows.

 

It starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Yodish beings everywhere…whether you're from Jedha or you're a Jedi, I want you to feel welcome. So, that’s the greeting. Then there’s business. That’s how we keep the show free, which is what I like. Anybody can listen whenever they want, and the people that support the sponsors enable us to do that. Then there’s an intro. The intro goes from minute, what, six, eight, to minute twenty-something. During the intro, I kinda just…I’ve been told in not-so-nice terms and lots of nice terms, man, in the intro, you really never get to the point. Most of that’s positive. They say, you never talk about anything of substance. You kinda almost do. I say, yeah, that’s…I work really hard at it.

 

So, yeah, so the intro…oh, the intro…so, the intro…the idea of the intro is that it introduces new people to the podcast, but for regular listeners and new people, it gives you a chance to unwind. As you become a regular listener, you could kinda decide how you want to use the intro. There’s three percent of people that skip ahead to twenty minutes. There’s some people that listen to intros most of the time. Sometimes they skip them. Then there’s a variety of listeners that listen to the intro in different ways. Some people are in bed getting cozy. Oh boy, you look so cozy there. Other people are starting their bedtime routine or getting ready for bed or doing something relaxing or just laying around, chilling. So, that’s the other way to use it. Or some people are waking up or listening all night.

 

So, you could kinda see how it goes, and you could switch it up. The podcast gets used at different times by different people in different ways. But the whole purpose of the intro is to give you some separation, to let the sun set on the day, but to give you some sort of warm light in the night, to keep you company. I guess like a night light, but I don't use night lights because…again, I try to get my room as dark as possible, and then these lights keep pop…I say, where did that light come from? What is up with that? Even the ones that have settings…they say, oh no…well, only one of our two lights has a setting to turn it off. The other one’s always on. I say, well, what in the heck…why’d you put a setting on only one of the two lights? Oh, for convenience; customer feedback. I say, well, could you get that…can I…?

 

Well, that way, that you know it’s active. Okay, never mind. So, that’s the intro, then there’s business between the intro and the show. That’s how podcast business intro…that’s just podcast structure. Then there will be our discussion of The Mandalorian, and that’ll probably go from minute twenty to minute sixty-something, I think. I recorded it yesterday. It was pretty long. We’ll have Wendy Marstrap in there, and then some thank-yous. So, that’s the structure of the show. The only other thing to know is the reason I make the show is because, one, I know how it feels in the deep, dark night, tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep. I’ve been through all those things.

 

So, if I can help with that, it would be my honor, because I don't want you to have to dread bedtime. My goal is to either make it something that feels neutral or something…you say, well, at least Scoots will be there, my bore-bud, my bore-bae, my bore-bestie, my bore-friend, my bore-bor, whatever, to keep me company and take my mind off stuff and be a little goofy or a lot goofy. So, that’s one thing. The other thing is you deserve a good night's sleep. You deserve a place you could rest. If you get that rest, your life will be more manageable. Your life will be fuller and our world will be a better place to live in.

 

Like I said, and then you could be a port in someone’s storm or that calm listener, or you'll be calm and be able to better care for yourself or your family or the people you encounter during the day. You don’t have to do that, but it’s a way I kind of…I romanticize my job. But really, what it comes down to is you're important and you getting the rest you need is important. Sometimes it can be hard to feel that way, but it’s true. So, I guess that’s it. I’m really glad you're here. I work really hard on this show. I really yearn and I strive. I appreciate you coming by, and I really hope I can help you get some sleep. Thanks.

 

Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts you're thinking about, so things on your mind, it could be…they could be pop-up thoughts or leaning…what about…? Slide-in thoughts. This is another thing from like, 2018, sliding in your DMs. But those thoughts, they do slide right in. They say, hey, what up? I want you to give me some attention right now.

 

I’m from…I’m back from twelve years ago, or I’m from the…I’m from what I anticipate the future will be, even though I’ve never been accurate in any of my predictions except when I post-predict. Post-predictors; that’s another thing that keeps me up at night. It says, see? I told you so. You say, well, actually, when you told me about this, you said it was gonna be like this, this, and this, and then that and then this. So, you were actually only right about this, that at some point in my future, things wouldn't be super easy. You were right about that, I guess. Yep. See? I told you so. I say, could you slide…? So, it’s hard. So, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, is what I was gonna say, but it can be hard when those things slide in there, 'cause you can't just slide them back out.

 

Unfortunately, it’s like they slid down some sort of slippery ramp and they're also…they have a lot of mass. So, you say, I’m gonna push you right…I’m gonna slide you right outta here. You say, well, it’s uphill. It’s slippery. I might not look like I have…I’ve got a lot of mass, so moving me is not gonna be easy. So, why don’t you just let me sit here and talk to you about the stuff I was gonna told-you-so about? So, whatever it is that’s keeping you awake…it could be one of those things. Obviously you know what it is for me, because you say, Scoots, you've never described it that way, but you really got it down. But it could also be a version of that that’s more feeling-based or physical sensations, and it could be something else. Sometimes it’s just the old baffling…you say, what the heck? Why can't I fall asleep?

 

Or something specific. Whatever it is, I’m here to try to take your mind off that and keep you company while you fall asleep. The way I’m gonna do it is I’m gonna try to create a safe place where you could set aside things. I’m gonna smooth it…unfortunately I guess I…the safe place already had these ramps with the sliders in there. I don't know who greased them up, greased up the old ramps and the sliders, but I wish they didn’t. But I got a nice safe place, and I’m just gonna distract you from that. So, it’s almost like we're in a giant safe place. Right now I’m picturing a warehouse, which is normally not a giant one, 'cause I was just trying to think of where else there would be big ramps where a imaginary DM told-you-so’er or slide-inners would be existing.

 

I would want to point out in a positive way, it is really smooth when you slide that way. It looks really good. But I’m just trying to go to bed. But don't worry, there’s plenty of space and it’s cozy. I have cozy places in this giant building. Technically it’s not a warehouse. I just called it that to try to be illustrative. It’s a safe place and it’s not…it’s an industrial…it’s an…we’ve re-zoned it. It was once an industrial building, but now it’s…that’s…yeah, it’s an…yeah. So, what was I talking about? So, here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna try to create a safe place. I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, I’m gonna go off topic, go way off topic, and get mixed up, and extra words…that’s another thing.

 

So, if you're new…if you're a new listener, I’m glad you're here. If you're a regular listener, so happy to have you back. Thank you so much. But if you're new, I do like to take some time to give you some information. A couple things to know; usually I start off differently, but I’ll let you know the structure of the show is different right upfront. So, this podcast starts off with a greeting; ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, so hopefully you feel seen and welcome. Then there’s business. That’s how we're able to get you this podcast twice a week. So, that is about two to four or six minutes. I don't know. It just depends on how successful it’s going. Then there’s a intro. So, around six…from six minutes to about twenty-two minutes is the intro of the show.

 

Particularly for new people, they say, wait, there’s business and then there’s an intro? That doesn't sound…and I’d say, well, it’s all part of the process. But when you first get here, you say, wait a second…so, you'll kinda see. The whole idea of the intro…the reason the intro goes for about fifteen to twenty minutes is that it gives you a way to slide into bedtime without sliding or the greasy stuff that I earlier described. I usually say ‘ease into bedtime’, but I said, well, talking about sliding…and hopefully, just like that song…whoever sang it…I don't know if it was Garfunkel and Simon or Simon and Garfunkel, but slip-sliding away…it could have been one of them solo or it could have been somebody else. But hopefully I have whatever’s keeping you awake slip-sliding away.

 

You say, wait a second, we could…what if we reverse things? You're right. What if we put the safe place up above the ramps? Then the people that slid into the DMs, they would have to climb up the ramp, which would be really hard. Wow, we already…talk about solving problems together. Thank you, new listener. But so, the long intro is…it eases you into bedtime. So, some regular listeners, they start it before they get into bed. Some start it in bed, some listen during the day for distraction, and it’s totally okay to skip it. Two percent of people start the show around…between twenty and twenty-two minutes. But for most people, it’s just part of their bedtime routine, and for a new listener, it kinda gives you an idea of the nonsense that is gonna be going on throughout this podcast.

 

But when you first listen, you say, wait a second, I don't understand this. So, another thing to remind you is kinda listen to this podcast loosely. Don’t pay too much attention or don’t kinda wait for it to get started. At first you will naturally, but if one part of you can hold it loosely and just imagine that DM sliding…told-you-so’er…and now we're in an enviable position. We're up on a…we're up past a ramp. But you say, well, no one will ever slide into my DMs again. This is…this will be a tech conference in 2028. They say, well, how did you figure that out? How did you get people from…to stop sliding in their DMs? I say, well, you shut it off. They say, no, no, no, but what was this other way? You said you used physics. I say, oh yeah.

 

What we did was we took the inbox and we put it higher than the…so it became impossible…well, nothing would get in the inbox at that point, unfortunately, unless they had…you had to go get…yeah. So, it didn’t work out as it intended. But basically, just…oh, unless you had a pulley. We used a pulley-based system for messages you thought you wanted. But otherwise it was a greased ramp. Is that in the internet…the architecture of things? Yeah, it’s in the…well, architecture of stuff, yeah. So, yeah, we greased up a ramp and then we put the inbox up above it instead of down below it, so you could no longer slide in anywhere. Oh, okay. This was…did you coat it yourself? I say, I coated the ramp with, yeah, different greasy things. I used ten-in-one oil and a bunch of different other stuff. Okay.

 

Oh, so, I gotta get back to the new listener, though. Sorry about that. I was basking in my future dreams of…I don't like speaking anyway, so I don't think that…so…but so, okay, so give it a few tries. That’s what I said. Most listeners say it took two or three tries to get used to the fact that the podcast is pretty weird. So, if you want, give it a few tries, 'cause hopefully it’ll help, but it rarely helps anybody on their first listen, though it does. Maybe twenty percent of people say it worked great right away. I say, well, that’s because you're…you got…you share some of these…we have direct sharing of some of this stuff. You also probably have a told-you-so’er in your brain. So, I would say, great, but then I say, well, if you got a told-you-so’er anything like mine…so, anyway, so that’s another thing to know.

 

So, after the intro is business, then there will be a story-like thing. We call it Real Time Recipes around here, these parts, and I’ll run through some things I’ve cooked recently and go shopping and stuff like that. So, that’s…right? Okay. Then…oh yeah, and then at the end of the show are some thank-yous and goodnights. So, that’s the structure of the show. The other thing you might want to know is that this podcast doesn't really put you to sleep. It keeps you company while you fall asleep. There’s more and more sleep audio every single day, it feels like, and a lot of that stuff is like, oh, we’ll put you to sleep or this kind of thing.

 

Sleep With Me, it keeps you company, and you fall asleep. I’m here keeping you company even after you fall asleep for most people, but if you can't sleep, I want to tell you I’m gonna be here keeping you company as well. So, if you're in a situation where you can't sleep, maybe it’s just because it’s warm out or maybe it’s something else, or maybe you just need something to listen to late at night or during the day or early in the morning. Whatever it is, I’m here for you and I’ll be here to the very end of this podcast to keep you company. But for most of you, what that means is I’ll be here keeping you company while you're already falling asleep. That’s what a bore-friend does. That’s part of the bore-friend code, which thus far I haven't thought of.

 

Maybe that’ll be a episode I’ll record, but…the bore-friend code, greasing ramps that…imaginary ramps in this one situation, and labeling them properly. For other situations, they say, warning, if you're not a DM-sliding told-you-so’er, this is a greasy ramp. So, that’s what this…all this tape is for and these bells and these…you know, all that stuff. Go around or use this sled and say, wee, whoopity-wee. Or if you're on your way back up, we got a pulley we designed, and also a block and tackle, maybe. Probably. A pulley and a block and tackle, because I never took…I don't think I ever took physics. I remember they had it at my high school, but it might have been just one…I was not…I got into the old track. At seventh grade, they said, well, this kid’s got some…his potential is interesting.

 

That’s the track they put me in. Potential? Hm, interest…back then they said, hm, hm. So, that’s what probably…one of the reasons I didn’t take physics. Maybe it was optional, though. I can't believe I would have missed out. I remember my friends telling me…and the physics teacher was cool. But whatever, maybe it was a elective. I don't know. So, anyway, back…enough about me. So, if you can't sleep, I’ll be here to the very end, but for most of you, I’m gonna be here keeping you company as you drift off or when you wake up and you need company. So, those are the other things. The reason I make the show is because you deserve a good night's sleep. You deserve a place where you can get some rest, whether it’s this podcast or one of the other sleep audios or sleep podcasts out there, whatever it is.

 

I’m here to keep you company. So, yeah, I think that’s it. What…? I just said whata, whata, whata. So, whatever it is, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff, and I got mixed up. I totally…my mind just blanked. That’s…now I’m trying to picture that greasy ramp or slippery ramp, slip-sliding away. Oh, you deserve a good night's sleep, because if you're rested, the world’s gonna be a better place. Even if it’s just your world, you might say, oh, it matters to me if your world’s a better place, and we know now that it matters to the world. It’ll put a little bit more positivity in there. Part of the reason I care is because I’ve been there. I know how it feels in the deep, dark night, tossing, turning, mind racing, told-you-so’ing. You say, are you…? I self-should myself.

 

You say…I don't know what auto thingamajig that is, but yeah, I’ve self-shoulded. Oh boy, have I told myself so. Another autobiography, probably; I Told I So. Instead of ‘you’; I told you so. I told you so. I told I so. You told iso…? No, I told I so. I’m sorry, what? You say, it doesn't…you can't even make a joke out of it, it makes so little sense. So, anyway, that’s the main things you need to know if you're new. Give it a few tries. I really hope it can help. Those of you that are regular listeners, I have great love for you and I really hope the podcast can keep helping you for as long as you need it, and thank you for being there for me.

 

I’m not perfect. I’m always trying, and I think the main thing that connects us here is the deep, dark night. I know it’s not easy out there. So, if you're here on a regular basis or if you're new, I work very hard. I yearn and I strive, 'cause I really want to help you…this podcast…I really want to help you fall asleep with this podcast. Thanks so much for coming by, and here’s a couple ways we're able to bring you this podcast twice a week.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)

All Intro

 

Nadia Comaneci

https://olympics.com/en/news/nadia-comaneci-a-pioneer-in-perfection

https://www.cnn.com/2012/04/03/sport/olympics-nadia-comaneci/index.html

https://www.usatoday.com/story/sports/olympics/rio-2016/2016/07/20/10-gymnast-nadia-comaneci-olympics-montreal/87357146/

 

The Dream of Invisibility

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2014/jul/26/the-dream-of-inivisbility

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/04/16/books/review/invisibility-gregory-gbur.html?unlocked_article_code=MY7F2E1eXevqokZOvFlYYCFiVZ8-LNMc0bnj0RINCR5A1Fq1pBYi9SP98hYov94EYbSQ1xTEvEZWRuX840Oonp8yqQQSwM15MSbI5VZ7c9fDSbV7XVzffeR5SlHHxtpIghJpkj56-T61GTkCAx1MmATtm2nLfyl-HKvfvDrn7GrAd_vq7a8Ta6sl-VXprNd9stCvxMCkMqy0061RESkD0DyFbUn9VRW76FhjPyzEAJC97FY25RES612-Jta8DUTD3E49eqldGXe2YgAZVnlT_qgjb_h8gi2R97EuBLdQT8gDM6olhzX-9NARlR1TkuoB0EltgVQasGHRjZ-C-qupGdaQ890lYNo8&giftCopy=4_Disclaimer&smid=url-share

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201502/why-everyone-should-try-being-invisible

 

Funko Pops

https://www.entertainmentearth.com/news/history-funko/

https://www.rollingstone.com/culture/culture-news/pop-culture-the-incredible-rise-of-funko-pop-179381/

https://medium.com/traveling-through-history/what-is-a-funko-pop-and-why-should-you-care-3a1e50204fbe

 

Slidin’ Into DMs

https://www.newamerica.org/millennials/dm/why-we-want-you-slide-our-dms/

https://onezero.medium.com/is-it-a-dm-or-a-pm-715caa05bcaa

https://www.thecut.com/article/why-isnt-anyone-sliding-into-my-dms.html

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

I’m not here to be cushiony and flexible like a spring

An All Intro for Memorial Day

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Calm History Podcast; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline; Referral Program

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Quince; Mint Mobile; Marley Spoon

 

INTRO

949

I’m not a daring performer

A Low-Wire Act

The Low-Wire Institute of Performance-Based…

I try to respool everything I unspool

I’m looking for a True Value Hardware Store

Scooter, the gymnast school dropout

I was probably inspired by women’s gymnastics

Mom, I gotta tumble

When do we get to the flipping?

Who would’ve thought I couldn’t immediately do a triple lux?

The time I made my piano teacher cry …

This podcast is very different and not normal

I didn’t have the moral turpitude to drop out of piano class

Don’t be all or nothing like me

We’ve all been children and some of us are just a little more childish

The podcast is like a sheet of tracing paper

Man, I’ve already gone off topic twice in this intro

Sleepy McSleeps, checking in

Other sleep podcasts are on the rise

I hope something can help you

 

STORY

950

I hope you can be kind of comforted by me

The Old Translucent Blanket

Creaky Dulcet Tones, full of Imperfection

Sponsored Content is never as straightforward as it should be

This blanket is extra and, by definition, superfluous

Is this a throw?

You’d have to love the invisible blanket a lot to buy it multiple times

Translucent, not Transparent

Couch Blanket Users

Unfortunately, invisible blankets don’t cover you up

The On-Call Blanket

Blankets have short memories

I’m blanketing this intro with blanket metaphors

You may not acquire the taste for me

I don’t enjoy artificial strawberry and watermelon flavors

I just alienated two fruits and two artificial flavors

Humor-Like Interludes (HLIs)

SWM is supposed to help you wind down

Maybe Scooter was talking about Booberries last night?

Hitting a home run and a touchdown grand slam with a twirling dunk at the end

Journey Into the Land of Tomorrow

Last night I was playing a theme park management video game

It’s not Roller Coaster Tycoon

My daughter plays, so I play

I shouldn’t have played it so late

Nonstop Slushy Stand Thoughts

951

Remotes and Emotes

I could use a refurbishment

A round of silent finger applause for new listeners

A One-Handed Raise the Roof

Cupping your elbows is underrated

Cup me gently, I’m an elbow

This isn’t a podcast you really listen to

I-C-U-P-P-ing your elbows

That Forlorn Missing My Friend Feeling

So comfortable that you don’t need to speak

I want you to feel welcome, whether you’re a Jetta or a Jedi

An aural equivalent of a night light

Woes with mystery bedroom lights

Windy Mirstrap drops by to talk Mandaborian

952

Popup Thoughts

Thoughts slidin’ into your DMs

Post-Predictors

Who greased up these ramps and sliders?

An Imaginary Warehouse

This show’s structure is decidedly different

What if we put the safe place above the ramps so stuff can’t slip slide away?

An imaginary tech conference in 2028

Unintended Consequences

Pulley-Based System

The Architecture of Things

Basking in my future dreams

The Borefriend Code

I don’t think I ever took physics in high school

Potential: Interesting

I self-should myself often

I told I so

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1354

Title: The Borefriend Code | All Intros 949-952 for Memorial Day

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Calm History Podcast; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline; Referral Program

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Quince; Mint Mobile; Marley Spoon

Notable Language:

• 949
• A Low-Wire Act
• Spool
• Mom, I gotta tumble
• Turpitude
• Sleepy McSleeps
• 950
• Translucent Blanket
• Superfluous 
• Couch Blanket Users
• Humor-Like Interludes (HLIs)
• 951
• Remotes and Emotes
• Refurbishment
• A One-Handed Raise the Roof
• I-C-U-P-P-ing your elbows
• That Forlorn Missing My Friend Feeling
• Yodish Beings
• 952
• Popup Thoughts
• Post-Predictors
• Pulley-Based System (PBS)
• The Borefriend Code
• I Told I So

 

Notable Culture:

• • 949
  • The Low-Wire Institute of Performance-Based…
  • Ace Hardware
  • True Value Hardware
  • Olympics
  • Nadia Comaneci

• Unspooling my Dreams

• • Cinemax

• 950

• • Kickstarter
  • IndieGoGo

• Hamilton

• Hamilton (The Pig-Based Parody)

• Harry Potter

• Conversations with Blankets

• • Booberries Cereal
  • Journey Into the Land of Tomorrow

• Roller Coaster Tycoon

• • 951
  • “Tiny Dancer” – Elton John

• The Mandalorian

• • 952
  • Slidin’ in your DMs
  • Simon & Garfunkel
  • “Slip Slidin’ Away”

• I Told I So

 

Notable Talking Points:

• • 949
  • I’m not a daring performer
  • A Low-Wire Act
  • The Low-Wire Institute of Performance-Based…
  • I try to respool everything I unspool
  • I’m looking for a True Value Hardware Store
  • Scooter, the gymnast school dropout
  • I was probably inspired by women’s gymnastics
  • Mom, I gotta tumble
  • When do we get to the flipping?
  • Who would’ve thought I couldn’t immediately do a triple lux?
  • The time I made my piano teacher cry …
  • This podcast is very different and not normal
  • I didn’t have the moral turpitude to drop out of piano class
  • Don’t be all or nothing like me
  • We’ve all been children and some of us are just a little more childish
  • The podcast is like a sheet of tracing paper
  • Man, I’ve already gone off topic twice in this intro
  • Sleepy McSleeps, checking in
  • Other sleep podcasts are on the rise
  • I hope something can help you
  • 950
  • I hope you can be kind of comforted by me
  • The Old Translucent Blanket
  • Creaky Dulcet Tones, full of Imperfection
  • Sponsored Content is never as straightforward as it should be
  • This blanket is extra and, by definition, superfluous
  • Is this a throw?
  • You’d have to love the invisible blanket a lot to buy it multiple times
  • Translucent, not Transparent
  • Couch Blanket Users
  • Unfortunately, invisible blankets don’t cover you up
  • The On-Call Blanket
  • Blankets have short memories
  • I’m blanketing this intro with blanket metaphors
  • You may not acquire the taste for me
  • I don’t enjoy artificial strawberry and watermelon flavors
  • I just alienated two fruits and two artificial flavors
  • Humor-Like Interludes (HLIs)
  • SWM is supposed to help you wind down
  • Maybe Scooter was talking about Booberries last night?
  • Hitting a home run and a touchdown grand slam with a twirling dunk at the end
  • Last night I was playing a theme park management video game
  • It’s not Roller Coaster Tycoon

• My daughter plays, so I play

• I shouldn’t have played it so late
• Nonstop Slushy Stand Thoughts
• 951
• Remotes and Emotes
• I could use a refurbishment
• A round of silent finger applause for new listeners
• A One-Handed Raise the Roof
• Cupping your elbows is underrated
• Cup me gently, I’m an elbow
• This isn’t a podcast you really listen to
• I-C-U-P-P-ing your elbows
• That Forlorn Missing My Friend Feeling
• So comfortable that you don’t need to speak
• I want you to feel welcome, whether you’re a Jetta or a Jedi
• An aural equivalent of a night light
• Woes with mystery bedroom lights
• Windy Mirstrap drops by to talk Mandaborian
• 952
• Popup Thoughts
• Thoughts slidin’ into your DMs
• Post-Predictors
• Who greased up these ramps and sliders?
• An Imaginary Warehouse
• This show’s structure is decidedly different
• What if we put the safe place above the ramps so stuff can’t slip slide away?
• An imaginary tech conference in 2028
• Unintended Consequences
• Pulley-Based System
• The Architecture of Things
• Basking in my future dreams
• The Borefriend Code
• I don’t think I ever took physics in high school
• Potential: Interesting
• I self-should myself often
• I told I so