1340 – The Goat, or Who is Martha? | Dreaming of Newhart S3 E13

Episode 1340 – The Goat, or Who is Martha? | Dreaming of Newhart S3 E13

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster…I said, that sounded more like I said ‘poi’. Poi is…I don't know what poi is. Also, how would I spell it, P-O-Y or P-O-I? Poi. Rhymes with koi, and I guess you could spell ‘koi’ with a C-O-Y or a K-O-I. So, I don't know. If you're turning…tuning in here…turning…tuning in to turn in here and you're new, you may be…you say, what is this person talking about? Poi? Is that a word that’s ever been used? I think so, somewhere. I want to think it’s something, but I don't quite know. I can't quite put my brain on it. Or, I mean, I can't quite…my vocabulary is not expansive enough to know…you say, I’m familiar with those letters. Those are familiar sounds, ‘puh’ and ‘oi’, and ‘poi’ together, but that’s where my knowledge ends, and that’s why I make a sleep podcast, believe it or not. What qualifies to make a sleep podcast? Well, honestly, it’s kinda what I’m lacking that…what qualifies me to make a sleep podcast is more of a…it’s addition by subtraction or subtract…the addition of subtraction or just using words together in random…it’s not totally random. But no matter what, welcome to Sleep With Me. It’s a podcast to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night. So, welcome. This is very different. If you've tried a lot of stuff to help you fall asleep or you've never tried audio to help you fall asleep…maybe you've had a personal…a person in your life that’s helped you fall asleep by just talking to you about nothing or you've watched a show and barely paid attention…and that’s kinda how Sleep With Me works. I’m a mild distraction. So, I’m glad you're here. Alls you need to do is barely listen to me. So, not too much pressure on your end. Structurally what we got coming up to expect…we got some support if you're listening to the ad-support version so you can listen for free, then after that will be a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, and later on we’ll have a bedtime story based on Dreaming of Newhart. So, I’m glad you're here, and…yeah, we’re able to do this by the people that support the show directly, support the sponsors, spread the word about the show, and the show’s here to ease things in the deep, dark night, really, to keep you company so you could drift off or just be more comfortable where you are. So, I’m really glad you're here, and…yeah, these are a couple ways we're able to do this for you on a regular basis.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be thoughts, thoughts you're thinking about, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thinking thoughts…thoughts, man, the more I talk about them, the more I think about them, and the more I think about them, the more I think about them. Thinking, thinking, thinking. I don't know if that’s a bumper sticker or a shirt. How come it doesn't say that when…? I mean, I realize that a computer’s not actually thinking, but maybe these new AIs are. Instead of buffering, why don’t you say, hey, I’m thinking, thinking…hold on one second. Thinking…that does seem like something someone would say, more in a movie context. They say, thinking, thinking…could I have a caramel…? Mother, could I have a caramel apple? Thinking, thinking, thinking…no. But they…you could just use it to buy time. How come they also…? We're really on a roll here…tangents. I don't know the history of ‘buy time’, either. That’s one of the things you really can't purchase. I mean, I’m…delaying tactics I guess is what we use in this podcast. Buying time would be a metaphorical way of putting…it would be more like borrowing time. No, more like inflating time. Yeah, on Sleep With Me, time’s like a balloon where…but a very…we're not gonna overfill it, believe me. Don't worry, we won't be overfilling any balloons, but we’ll put a little more air in there, you know? It’s almost like if balloons had enough…whatever that is, latex in them, shaped balloons where they could then become a round balloon if you put more air into it…you say, what is that, that…Big Hero? No, that’s not what it’s called. That’s the name of the movie. Baymax? Yeah. I’m just gonna put a little more air in it so it looks…and then it’ll look like a balloon. Well, why would you…? I just bought a Bay…I bought a Baymax balloon, though. Right, but I was trying to talk about how the podcast…I just put a little more air…well, your air is hot air. Eh, it’s more warm air, believe it or not, but I was…this is…it’s more empty air. You're right about that, though I think if you asked a plant, it would say, oh no, that’s my food. That dude breathes out my food all the time. Do plants really say that to you? No, but I mean, I was…sometimes I like to imagine I’m in a musical and plants are…yeah, and then they're…actually, by being in a musical with plants, it’s…that’s what I…when I think of…what’s the name of the musical? Well, it was another project I never did, but it was called My Own Personal Biome. Really? Do you need ‘personal’ in there? My Own Biome…I mean, well, there would be a song, My Own Biome, but I think for a title, My Own Personal Biome is more confusing and…it’s a pretty long title, though. ‘Personal’ is a long word. You're right about that. Believe it or not, I was trying to start a sleep podcast and then I went on a tangent about a tangent about a tangent, and now I’m making a musical…for plants or with plants? Well, unless you're getting paid in, whatever, O2…well, I kinda am getting paid in O2. It’s a pretty sweet relationship plants and I have. Then the person would say, well, you could never have enough plants to…I say, okay, well, thanks for…whatever. Okay, let’s just say I got phytoplankton. Well, I don't know if you understand what phytoplankton is, either. Well, you're right about that, but if I’m making a musical…if I was making a musical, My Own Personal…plants…phytoplankton could not…well, if I…if it’s imaginary, they could be a part of my own personal biome. That’s what makes it personal. Step into my plankton room. Wouldn't that be…? Yeah, it would be a room with water, obviously, and sunlight. Yeah, every day…actually, the musical’s a daily musical. It’s…lasts a long time, and I go in that room and sing to the phytoplankton. It’s quite a number. The phytoplankton love it because at least in my imagination…what do I…? I breathe out carbon dioxide, right? At least in the musical, in the plot…it’s not a major plot point. It’s just a delaying tactic of a sleep podcast. So, yeah, whatever you're thinking about…thoughts I’m gonna take your mind off of, feelings, any feelings coming up for you related to your thoughts or my thoughts…that’s another thing you'll rarely hear, is people have strong thoughts about phytoplankton except for…people that are in the biz, in the plankton biz or plankton-adjacent businesses. PABs, they call those, by the way. Say, trust me, don’t bring it up anywhere. You're not in a PAB, are you? What’s a PAB? Plankton-adjacent business. Oh yeah? Which plankton-adjacent business are you in? Musicals. I make a musical for…not just plankton but…well, I make a musical where plankton and other plants are…they're kinda like the chorus…like the audience, but they're on stage. Really? That’s a plankton-adjacent business. I don't know if you know what ‘adjacent’ means, 'cause it sounds like the plankton are actually a part of that business. My plankton is none of your business, so keep my plankton out of your ears. No problem. I’ve never agreed with anything more fully. There’s nothing I’d be more happy to do than keep your plankton out of my mouth and my ears and out of my business, 'cause it’s your own personal  plank…maybe it could be My Own Personal Plankton. Huh, My Own Personal Plankton really does rhyme. Hopefully I’ll remember to text myself right now, but I don't have my phone, so…that I should do a episode called My Own Personal Plankton, 'cause that really is nicely alliterative. But, yeah…so, it could be feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally, though I did say rarely but not always do people have a strong emotional reaction to plankton. Some do. They say, oh boy, that zooplankton…just don’t even bring it up with me. I can't even…I can't even…yeah, I just don’t even want to talk about it. No problem. I’ll just move on. Thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, it could be changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be going through something, getting over something, traveling, have guests, be in the middle of something, maybe you work a different work schedule. The only reason I go through some of that stuff is so you know you're not alone. Even though you're listening to this, there’s other people…it’s weird; we're together…alone together and together alone with this podcast. Across the world, there’s people listening, and if you're new, believe it or not, some of those people are here rooting for you and hoping this podcast can help you like it helped them, because they’ve gone through something similar to whatever’s keeping you awake and they know how it feels. Maybe even I know how it feels; trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, trouble waking up, whatever it is, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, all the stuff I list. I know what it’s like and I know what it’s like to dread bedtime, and that’s really in the end why I make this show, because I want to help you, because I’ve been there in the deep, dark night. You know what that means. I mean, it’s not even always at night, right? So, I want to help out if I can not only 'cause I know what it feels like for me…and that can help me be like, man, is it like that for you? I couldn't find anything else to help me out that would work for me on a regular basis, and a lot of stuff I tried frustrated me. So, I made this show to help out people that are looking for something like this, a strange friend to talk to you about nothing in the deep, dark night and to go on a lot of tangents. I also make it because you deserve a good night's sleep. You deserve a place where you could get the rest you need so your life is more manageable tomorrow, a bedtime you don’t have to dread, that you could at least look…maybe feel neutral about or look forward to and say, well, at least I got my bore-friend there to keep me company and take my mind off stuff, so, I’m looking forward to that, or I feel neutral. Oh boy, do I feel neutral…there’s only a few things I feel neutral about; the podcaster I listen to every night and plankton. Most planktons; not all plankton. In fact, I don't know anything about plankton. There’s a couple assumptions I make about plankton, but obviously I’m not gonna make…I’m not gonna…I guess I’m publicly admitting I just made a rear end of the plankton in me. But, yeah. I don't even know what I was…talk about…so, I’m glad you're here. I hope this show can help you, is basically it, so that tomorrow you're rested and you could get the rest you need on a regular basis, and ideally you're out there flourishing in the world. So, the way the show works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents…so, I go off topic, I get mixed up, then I double back, then I’m like, wait a second, what was I talking about? I go on…well, I’ve already done it. Pointless meanders and superfluous tangents; we’ve had a few tonight already, and that’s all to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. The thing is, it does take some getting used to. Most people when they get here…you're skeptical…why wouldn't you be skeptical or doubtful? Why wouldn't you be frustrated, right? You're having trouble sleeping and now you're looking for something to help you out, and this show is very different, probably not what you expected. So, just give it a few tries and see how it goes. This show doesn't help everybody, but for the people who regularly listen and support the show that I’ve heard from, it took two or three tries. They're like, oh, now I get it. He was serious. He doesn't know anything about plankton, but he loves saying it and then he loves thinking…he doesn't know what a biome is, really, either. He’s familiar with those words and he likes…words; he likes to use them. So…oh, he’s just a friendly…he doesn't know what ‘inane’ is, either, but he may be inane. He may be other things that rhyme with that, too. But he’s just here to keep me company. So, that takes some getting used to, and some people never like me, and that’s okay. So, if you already find you're like, man, I would never…plankton? I’d like to have you walk the plankton. I’d say, hm, it depends on the plankton, and I’d have to ask their permission. I mean, I could put my…in the musical, maybe I’ll put my feet over the edge of the pool and kick it if that’s…once we check with the plankton expert. But just trying to think how much…if that’ll affect the budget of the musical if we had to bring in a plankton expert, you know. Holy moly. But what was…? Oh, most people don’t like me. So…and that’s okay. So, I have a website set up, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, and that has other sleep podcasts on there and sleepy stuff so you could find something that works for you if this show does not work for you. But for most people it works for, it takes a few tries 'cause, one, this is a podcast you don’t listen to. You kinda just barely listen like kind of background noise that you’re…you could pay attention to, like an audiobook you're barely interested in. You say, I’ll follow along for a little while, but once they start talking about plankton, I’m not gonna be paying attention. So, yeah, just give it…oh…oh yeah, so, it takes some getting used to even to do that, to just barely listen. It’s also…this is a sleep podcast. I’ve been making it eleven years or twelve years, maybe, but it’s a sleep podcast that doesn't put you to sleep. It’s a little secret. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep, not to put you to sleep. I’m here to take your mind off of stuff and then you fall asleep. There is no pressure to fall asleep with this show. There’s a reason the episodes are over an hour. It’s so you know I’m gonna be here whether you're awake or asleep. If you can't sleep at all, I’m gonna be here to the very end talking about stuff, then talking about Newhart, and dreams and stuff like that, to keep you company, because there’s people who are listening who can't sleep at all or who need a break during the day, and I’m here for them and for you in a way…so you don’t have to listen to me but you could listen to me. ‘Cause my job is not to put you to sleep. It’s to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your neigh-bore, your Borbie, your bores, your borely, your Borlaf, your bore-sib, bore-cuz, bore-bruh, your best bore-friend f’eva, to just take your mind off of stuff while you drift off. That takes some getting used to, too. You say, I thought this was a podcast where you carried me off into dreamland. I say, well, it’s…I guess if the balloon metaphor didn’t work…but my hot air could carry you off into dreamland. So, just see how it goes. What else do you need to know? Most people don’t like me, it takes some getting used to, the show’s very different, I don't listen to you but it doesn't put me to sleep…what other good…? Oh, structure of the show is very different, too, but it’s very intentional and the show is adjustable. So, let me just tell you about that so you know. The show starts off with a greeting so you feel seen and welcomed in; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then I say something silly. You say, okay, I could check that podcast out. It doesn't sound too bad. I mean, it sounds like creaky, dulcet tones and not make a lot of sense, but I’ll give it a try. Then there’s…the show is ad-supported so that paying for it is optional. If you don’t wants ads, you could get that on Sleep With Me+. But most people like to listen to the ad-supported version linearly, and that’s okay if you don’t. You could just get that on Sleep With Me+. But after the support is our long, meandering intro which is separate from the support. It’s a show within a show where I ease you into bedtime. It’s like…takes me fifteen to twenty minutes to introduce the podcast, which is funny, right? But I follow the same structure every time, but the tangents are different so it’s familiar but it has variety, and I think that’s one of the important things. It feels familiar but it’s unpredictable so whatever part of us keeps us awake…while it could easily point holes in my vocabulary and my logic, it also is…it doesn't know what’s coming next. So, it kinda has to be distracted and listen. But the other purpose of the intro is to ease you into bedtime. The intro is not designed to put you to sleep. It does put a small percentage of people to sleep, but for most people, they're getting ready for bed, they're in bed getting comfortable, or they're winding down. It’s really nice. If you don’t have a wind-down routine, think about trying one out, 'cause it’s really nice to get eased into bedtime, and listening to this intro is a part of it. It’s nice, I think, and it’s a little bit of a treat. So, yeah, that’s what the intro…it just kind of…it gives you a buffer period between being awake and falling asleep. Then there will be support and then there will be our bedtime story. All told, I’ll be here a little bit over an hour, and I think that’s everything you need to know. I’m really glad you're here, and if you're a regular listener, welcome back. If you're new, I know; this is just me being me, but give it a try. See how it goes. I’m really glad you're here. I work really hard. So do a team of people, and I’ll tell you, I really believe in the purpose of this show. This is the first intro I’m recording in the new year. You'll be listening to it well into 2025. I know how important this show is to a lot of people, and it’s important for me to make it because I know what it’s like in the deep, dark night, and I just want to help in this way that I can help. I appreciate all the help I get in doing that, 'cause I couldn't do it. It’s like a inner…it’s kinda like that car…it’s like me and the plants, you know? We work together to do…I mean, the plants would say, we do all the work, but you know what I mean. So, thank you for everybody that helps the show exist, 'cause it couldn't exist without the people that help it, and it wouldn't exist without the people that fall asleep to it. So, yeah, that’s cool, I think, a lot cooler than what the plants in my brain are saying about me. It’d be fun, though, to…what about a stand-up comedy club for plankton? I don't know if I’d have any jokes. I’d just be like, zooplankton? Who-plankton? They’d say…it’d be just as quiet…it’d be funny. It’d be like, you could do one of those videos where it’s a split screen and they say, Scooter doing stand-up at a plankton comedy club, Scooter doing comedy…stand-up comedy at a stand-up comedy club, and the sounds of the audience would be the same. It’d just be, you know, air. The jokes would be the same, too. They're not quite jokes. Partially…some assemblage…Scooter’s jokes; not…more than some assembly required. So, anyway, I’m glad you're here. I really appreciate you checking the show out or coming back. I couldn't do it without you, and we do it with a lot of support from the listeners. So, here’s a couple messages of support. Thanks.

 

Hey, everybody. Welcome to Dreaming of Newhart. This is Scooter. I’m just about to turn things over to Robert, Bob, and the team he’s working with analyzing his dreams. Dreaming of Newhart is a TV-recap episode based on the idea that the sitcom Newhart from the 1980s and ‘90s…again, it’s not a fact-based podcast, but…yeah, I’m pretty sure…yeah, I don't know. That entire run of that sitcom was a dream had by the character…the main character Robert Hartley in the Bob Newhart Show. So, the main character in the Bob Newhart Show was named Robert Hartley, and he was married to…so, they had recurring characters and everything like that, and he was married to Suzanne Pleshette, Emily. But he was…when he would dream at night…apparently he was dreaming that he was a Vermont innkeeper named Dick Loudon. So, this show, Dreaming of Newhart, takes that in a way…and we try to look…we look at…through sleepy fugue states, we imagine if…that all that is true. So that…well, what if an episode of the Bob Newhart Show was the day life of Robert Hartley and the Newhart episode was the dream life of Robert Hartley, and they went in to talk to somebody recapping these things? What would happen? Oh, and then on top of that, to make it even more lulling and meandering, is that what if the person listening to Bob’s dreams used an AI dream expert — and ‘expert’ is in big-time quotes — to analyze some things from the dream and to simulate a dream? So, quite a lot of layers here, and…so, yeah, I’ll let them take it away.

 

Hey, Bob, come on in. Thanks. Bob, you seem a little hesitant. Well, I’m always hesitant to come here. But you seem more…there’s something…yeah, I’m not…my dream is…I’m not…I under…I’m just not looking forward to discussing my dream, but I agreed to, and because of my profession, I believe that it could be insightful talking to you about my dream and hearing your…I’m looking forward to learning, maybe, and going against my instinct, which is not to tell anybody about this dream. Well, I’m glad, Bob, and I’m glad you kinda sent me a message. I thought it was a coded message, but now I realize you were being truthful. I said to myself, holy Albie. Oh, that’s…or holy Sylvie…who is Sylvia? Okay, could you…could we just talk about my dreams and not do a bit about it? Sure, Bob. Why don’t you run through the basics of your dream and then we could go from there, okay? Okay. Alright, in the dream…so, the same recurring dream and characters. I’m Dick Loudon, innkeeper, married to Joanne, run a inn…a bed-and-breakfast inn in Vermont. It’s winter, spring…like, it’s…I think it should…in the dream it should be spring, but it’s still winter and very snowy and cold. In the beginning of the dream, Stephanie, who is…she’s the one…she’s supposed to be the maid and the housekeeper of our inn, but she’s not good at her job, and she’s a person I like in the dreams, but she’s not a great employee. In the beginning of the dream, that’s how she’s behaving. She’s being sassy, I would say, or sassing like a tween would…the guests about their meals and about what they ordered, about them not liking…mixing up their orders. She mixed up farina and oatmeal and said it doesn't make a difference. Joanne, my wife in the dreams, my dream wife, tries to say, can't you do your job? Oh, she also works in the restaurant because…but she’s tired of the winter. I’m a little passive aggressive with her in the dream. Also, George loves the winter. George is our fix-it person, handyperson. So, yeah. Then…so, the main reason Stephanie’s unhappy is because her boyfriend, Peter, has cancelled their vacation three times. He’s the one that runs my show, Vermont Today. That’s a recurring part of some dreams. He’s very kinda…I don't know, he talks in some sort of…a dream language. I wouldn't call it lingo. So, he…but he’s there to tell Stephanie in the dream, hey, we're going on vacation. I got two tickets to Bermuda, two tickets to paradise. Also, I was aware that one of the paintings in the dining room of the inn…there’s a lot of Melville-esque paintings in the inn. I don't know if you're…I don't think with the rest of this dream that’s gonna be important, but she’s…then she says, I’m going on vacation. We say, well, you gotta ask for time off fifteen days ahead of time. No, we're leaving tomorrow. I’ll be gone seven days. Joanne kinda takes her side, so…whatever. I’m still like, oh, it’s really important that our person who works for us has a tan. Go for it. We’ll have to manage. We’ve been doing it…she’s been working for us for two years. It’s been a lot. Then all of a sudden, a goat comes in the dining room, and that goat’s following Peter…or, not Peter. Why do I keep calling him Peter? But…is that his name? I don't know. But the goat comes in and it starts eating off people’s plates. Everybody runs out. Then Larry, Darryl, and Darryl show up, and they introduce themselves like they do every time. They say, this is our goat, Martha. I say, Martha? They go, yeah. Just…we just named her. Darryl wanted to do ‘Lassie’, but we didn’t like that. We didn’t agree. We built consensus. We say…my wife says, there’s…a dining room is no place for a goat. Can you get the goat out of our dining room? He says, oh yeah, I was just having her in the den. But in the dream, this has happened before. She got in the shower with me. Even though it’s a dream, she’s been coming in all the time; ate shoes, butted guests, but they don’t seem to understand the boundary I’m trying to set, which is keep your goat out of my inn. I say, can't you tie the goat up like a dog in your yard? They say, yeah, but she’s not gonna like that. She likes watching repeat…or repeats of the show Soul Train, he says, on TV. So, I’m fed up with the goat. Then Stephanie’s getting ready to leave on her trip. She’s very excited, packing, all that. She’s got a lot of bathing suits. What else? She’s like, I’m not bringing anything else. I’m just planning on…then I say, well, what about the sand? What about shoes? She goes, oh, no, no, no, I’m not going to the beach. Michael…I keep calling him Peter, but he’s…Michael’s his name. Now I remember. He shows up, cancels the trip again because he has work. He has something going on with work, and he’s like, I’m sorry, but I brought you a bracelet. Obviously, Stephanie’s disappointed. Maybe I’ll just go on the trip without you. Then I go into my office, and the goat is eating my book. ‘Cause in the dream, I’m like…I help write how-to books and I’m a kinda writer for people. But the goat has eaten up all the book, the first three chapters, and I can't believe it. Michael makes a lot of comments about my writing. I’m really not happy about this, 'cause it was due. The reason I had it out was it was a hard copy. I had to submit a hard copy to my publisher. I say, Michael, you take the goat out with you. Get…you and the goat get out. Neither one of you is on my good list. Then I say, I’m calling the Goat Patrol. Then the goat comes back in 'cause Michael can't control it, so I call the goat…I say, Goat Patrol, this is not a Goat Lord game. Come pick this goat up. Which, I don't know, I guess even in the dream I say, that’s a reasonable behavior. I asked the guys to take care of their goat for the wellbeing of the goat and everybody else, and they didn’t listen. So, they don’t…then we…I have more recurring stuff with Stephanie and the vacation, George and his love of snowflakes and winter, and talking about all the positives. I’m trying to fix my manuscript in the dream. I’m trying to call them and tell them, yeah, it’s gonna be late 'cause a goat ate it. They're not gonna believe it. Then Larry, Darryl, and Darryl show up and they're like, okay, we're not speaking to you anymore. I say, what are you even talking about? They say, yeah, our goat…we had to go free our goat from…and they…he says, happy days are gone forever. We are now in a feud. So, Larry, Darryl, and Darryl are feuding with me because they couldn't control their goat. I say, what do you mean? They say, you're gonna find out, goat-teller-onner. I say, nah, I’m not gonna feud with you. It takes two sides to feud and I’m not feuding, so, that’s fine. Then they start doing stuff in the dream. They egg the inn. Then Stephanie’s upset, so she’s not helping the guests. People in their honeymoon want to check in. It just keeps going. They toilet-paper George and the trees, so guests are checking out. They did this thing…and every new people did; flatten our garbage cans, 'cause our garbage cans were made of aluminum or tin or whatever. I say, who does that? You flattened my garbage cans. But George said the toilet paper they used to toilet-paper him was very soft, so he’s happy about that. So, people are like, we don’t want to check into the inn, either. We had people drop in on their honeymoon. I say, this is a honeymooner spot, and then…so, I’m like, this feud is a problem. Joanne and everybody else is like, you gotta do something about this, Dick. I go, patience. I’m gonna be…I’m gonna out-wait these guys. But they don’t care. They pour ash down the chimney, all these things I never even heard of before, but really annoying. Like, having ash come down your chimney? Not great. It comes every…gets over everything. Toilet paper in a wet precipitation time of year, especially with…between wet snow, rain, and then ice? It makes it harder to get out, at least during that time. They throw snowballs even at Michael, then he’s like, we're going to Bermuda. I changed my mind. I told work I had to deal with stuff. So, I’m starting to get really fed up. So, I take the hose — it’s cold out — and I spray Larry, Darryl, and Darryl with the hose, and I say, there you go. Now Stephanie and Michael are ready to leave on their vacation, which is also important because after I hose them, they plow in our driveway so we can't even get out of the driveway, because they have a plow, right? So, they…there’s no exit to our driveway. Unfortunately, I didn’t have a plow. So, then Stephanie’s like, I gotta go on vacation. You're gonna have to talk to the…I gotta go to the airport, right, on my trip. Not only have we lost all these guests, but my vacation is important, right? So, I’m like, okay, what am I gonna do? I don't even know what to do. She’s…Stephanie was like, I’ll deal with it, then. I’m going on my vacation. So, this is one part of the dreams where I know I’m…everything is a dreamer. But Stephanie goes over to the Minute Man Cafe and Gift Shop, and the goat is over there watching TV on a tube television, and I’m with her. Larry, Darryl, and Darryl are about to egg Stephanie and I, and she says, can you stop the feud, please? I said, do…who’s gonna give up this nonsense, right, and be adults? They say, sure, we’ll stop the feud. You give us the inn, and that’ll end the feud. I’m like, give you my inn to end a feud? That’s not gonna happen. That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Absolutely not. Oh, also, there’s…there was a sign in the store; they sell a Yankee Doodle Dog for $1.99. It was one of the meals they sold. Okay, so, they want the inn. I’m like, no, I’m not gonna sell…then they say, okay, we’ll…okay, this is where I said…now, this is only…this is just what happened in the dream. I’m just telling you. They say, okay, we’ll stop the feud if you kiss our goat and apologize. Or maybe they say apologize and kiss the goat. ‘Cause I agree; I’m like, can we just stop this thing? Stephanie was like, please, kiss…please apologize and kiss the goat. This has gotta cease so I can go on vacation. I say, I’ll apologize to your goat, but I’m not gonna kiss a goat. They say, well, you're the one that told on the goat. I’m like, you gotta be kidding me. I’m not gonna…plus, I’m like, I don't know what…so, I kiss…I apologized to the goat, Martha. I say, I’m sorry, Martha. Then I kiss Martha on the forehead. Then…so then…'cause mostly 'cause Stephanie’s like, please let me go to Bermuda. I don't know, Martha had horns, too, like big horns, so, I don't understand…I don't know anything about goats. But I say, yeah, I’m sorry I called Goat Patrol on you, but you would…even if I had the game Goat Lord, you probably would have eaten the cards, Martha, so I’m not happy about that. So, that’s it. That was the dream. Oh, wow, Bob. That’s very interesting. Oh, is it? It is, Bob. I find it very, very interesting, yes. Okay, well, I asked my assistant…I told my assistant to listen to the very essence and simulate a dream, Bob, so is it alright if I give you the simulated dream? Yeah, sure, that’s fine. Okay, let me just look it up here. Dream…okay, so, similar based on your dreams in the past. In this dream you're the innkeeper of a charming Vermont inn. It’s bustling with guests and peculiar happenings, a quirky, humorous atmosphere. My guests…my inn’s always bustling in your assistant’s dreams. Now, Larry comes from next door, I guess apparently without his brothers, and he has an unusual request; a temporary home for his goat, which he required in a bizarre trade. The goat’s causing chaos at his place, so he wants to find a more suitable place. Yeah, that would have been a ‘no’ right away. Yeah, I know, Bob, but in the dream, according to my assistant, you agree, and the goat causes mischief; chewing on stuff, butting into doors, but the guests love it. They find it amusing and disruptive. In the chaos, you try to negotiate with the goats and run the inn. But in this dream, the goat has a secret; it’s actually enchanted and can speak, but it can only speak through dreams. So, the goat can transfer whimsical wisdom via dreams, which is profound. Okay. Then Larry…it doesn't say Darryl and Darryl, though. They come up with a game that gives a chance…the guests of the inn a chance to win a day with the goat by doing competitions around the inn, and people love this. Okay, that part sounds reasonable. Then you wake from the dream to find a calm morning with the guests talking about their day with the goat, and then you realize that it’s really a message about embracing the unexpected and finding joys in peculiarities of life. Okay, great. Yeah, it’s interesting. Okay, Bob, the first part of the dream was a long winter into the spring, Stephanie frustrated, sassing you, but Michael keeps postponing their vacation. Now, my assistant thought that the Freudian version of this would be frustration and stuff like that. Stephanie’s behavior may be some sort of inner tension or unmet desires. Maybe this is something about…the endless winter has something to do with deeper feelings about not…being powerless in some part of your life. Okay, we’ll see when I tell you about my day. Okay, maybe the Jungian is the season is a symbol; enduring winter, a stagnant phase in your personal growth, prolonged period of introspection, and maybe Stephanie’s your shadow expressing impatience towards the circumstances that may feel unchangeable, or maybe a modern version might be your subconscious of how your behavior is towards yourself and others. Maybe Stephanie or Michael are mirrors of your own delays and setbacks or procrastinating. Maybe there’s a influence of Saturn; a delay of spring and vacation can be linked to Saturn. Maybe there’s a time where…I don't know. What if…? My assistant did have some tough…I’ll be honest, Bob, my assistant had a little bit of a misunderstanding. Okay. So, I think my assistant somehow forgot we were analyzing dreams, but this said, what if the winter is something that was placed…you irritated a magic-user, so they placed a thing on the inn or the whole town, and Stephanie’s irritation is what’s calling you to uncover the C-U-R-S-E. Okay. I mean, I guess that could be true, too. What do you mean, Bob? Well, what if…'cause that’s like a TV show. Okay, Bob. In the TV show, Wanda…I haven't watched the next season with Agatha yet. I’ve watched one and a half episodes. Okay, Bob. So, I’m just wondering if that was the plot of that show or something. I mean, it is, that you don’t know you're in a dream, or you're under a influence of a magic-user. Okay, Bob. It could also be weather control. What if there was some sort of weather control that didn’t work out? Stephanie’s sassiness is trying to make you aware of it. Okay, it sounds similar. What if it’s a symbolic Groundhog Day where you're symbolically stuck in a repeat of every day until you make a change to the loop like the movie? Has your assistant been watching a lot of shows? I don't know, Bob. I did try to redirect them eventually. Oh, they did…so they said…okay, a mysterious figure, weather control, groundhog…maybe it’s for…S-A-D, like Steph…oh no, this is still…my assistant’s still off. What if Stephanie finds a hidden door that leads to a perpetual summer? Or it could be a time travel or intervention. Maybe a time-traveler is about to visit to cause…fix a timeline error. Did your assistant sign up for Disney+? Again, Bob, I don't know. I’m sorry. Okay, let’s talk about the goat running around the inn, getting in the shower with you, and Larry, Darryl, and Darryl. Okay, Freud might look at the unleashed goat as natural instincts, desires that you feel uncomfortable with, and they're manifesting in disruptive ways versus structure. The shower…you were vulnerable, you were getting cleaned…maybe it’s the unwanted or unexpected intrusion into your space. Maybe it’s some sort of primal urge, though, or an untamed aspect of your psyche. So, you're saying it’s a good thing…? I didn’t shower with the goat, by the way. It got in the shower with me. Yeah, I’m just trying to picture that, Bob. You have a shower door that…? How does a goat open a shower door? It was a dream. Oh, wow, so this is a touchy area, huh, showering with a goat. I think that would be touchy for everybody. Okay. I mean, I guess this might be a piece of modern playwriting, so we shouldn't…correct, right? You shouldn't judge. I’m not judging, Bob. I’m just interpreting through my assistant. What about for Jungian…animal is a shadow, maybe traits or impulses you try to keep under control, and maybe…and the shower is a good time to confront those shadow aspects directly. It could be urging you to integrate these wild or untamed aspects into your conscious life, maybe acknowledge and manage them instead of running them…letting them run wild. Okay, again, I’m just telling you my assistant…what my assistant came up with, and it’s out there. Okay, well, I’ve never…I’m already laughing. Okay, so, what if the goat is a spirit guide that’s appearing, trying to lead you to acknowledge things? Sounds like Freud and Jung. What if it’s a comedic reality shift? What if the inn is the stage of a sitcom and the goat’s aspects provide comic relief reflecting the chaos of everyday life in a humorous and lighthearted manner? No one would believe that. What if it’s a shower time machine? I’m feeling like your assistant’s been streaming a lot of things. A shower with a goat triggers a time slip, and each drop of water glimpses…gives you a glimpse of past or future events at the inn, with the goat as a catalyst for temporal travel. The goat could be a chaos theory ambassador, chaos theory in action, as Malcolm would…Dr. Malcolm would say, Ian Malcolm. So, all of these are…I don't know, Bob. Again, I tried to redirect my assistant later on. But yeah, chaos theory…maybe this is how small, unpredictable factors can have significant…create significant events. Maybe the goat is a community symbol. Unstrained behavior reflects community issues at the inn. Okay, so, these are more…I like these, actually, now that you're talking about it. Oh, 'cause I redirected my assistant after this. I guess that’s fine. Magical realism adventure…the goat has magical qualities and it transforms the inn into a realm where ordinary rules don’t apply…whimsical and magical adventures. It’s kinda like the Magic School Bus; the goat in an inn. So, you're saying any time the goat would be…I like this. Any time the goat’s in the inn, it’s magically…magical realism. Goat leaves the inn; no more magic powers. Possibly, Bob. It’s only a dream, though. Okay, then the dining room’s no place for a goat, and the chaos…let’s see. Yeah, my assistant really had a tough time. Maybe it was a desire for leisure, maybe is what Freud would say. The goat that watches TV…oh yeah, it had trouble when you said…it couldn't…my assistant just couldn't make any sense other than that it’s chaos, but a goat that watches TV…your assistant has been reliably…your assistant got more reliable and out there, and now…I know, Bob. It’s…you know, you get…we still pay the same for my assistant. Okay, maybe the goat watching TV is a desire for leisure. TV-watching maybe is a projection of desire for relaxation. It could be your shadow, maybe a subconscious perception of human behaviors mimicked by animals in your dreams. Maybe Neptune is influencing this astrologically. Blurred lines between fantasy…what if the goat is a media critic? What if the goat provides humorous commentary on the shows it watches? Satire, popular TV critiques…it could be…this could be part of a interspecies communication experiment, and this is a futuristic scenario where animals and humans can communicate, and TV is their common ground. I’d say that’s not…I mean, if I’m gonna talk to a goat about something, I think starting with a basic TV show might be a good place. What if it’s the goat’s dream and the TV-watching is…because the goat has a desire to watch TV and have a parallel experience to human beings? That would give us something to talk about, I guess. What if the TV is a magical portal that allows the goat or you to enter worlds on the screen? I don't think that…honestly…I mean, I realize we're talking about dreams. I don't think I’d want to put a goat in that kind of situation unless I had communicated…'cause I’d say, are you sure you understand? That’s very kind of you, Bob, not to put a goat…you don’t want to send a goat into a parallel reality unless you're 100% sure that goat could handle it. Well, I don't think we could ever be 100% sure. I don't even know…I mean, I could never say I’m 100% sure I could handle it. So, yeah, putting a goat in that situation’s just…okay, what if the goat…the television’s a socializer and it breaks down interspecies barriers? Okay, I like where your assistant’s heading with all this. It’s out there, but…yeah. What if the goat is planning on being a influencer so it gets…watching the goat watching TV becomes a thing? Watching what the goat’s watching? That’s kinda like…that’s interesting. I think it would have a limited lifespan. Okay, what about this whole thing…you told on the goat and you kept trying to assert your boundaries but they didn’t listen, and then they were mad at you even though they weren't caring for their goat or respecting your boundaries? I mean, that’s some dream. It could have to do with conflict and authority. Freud might say that doing this is your desire for order and boundaries, so maybe something’s happening with your personal life. It could be community dynamics. This could be a manifestation of your community or social group and some sort of chaos or untamed nature. My assistant said, what if this is some part of a mock trial with goats where you can have a humorous yet profound discussion about responsibility and community? What if the goat is a scapegoat? You're not joking, are you? No, that’s what my assistant said. It’s social dynamics where the goat is becoming a scapegoat for larger issues. I mean, I guess in a sense it is, really, Bob. Right? I mean, if it was real, I guess you're right. Your assistant’s right. I should be…I shouldn't…I mean, I should have just explained that to Larry, Darryl, and Darryl, but they're not reasonable, anyway. I mean, no disrespect to them, but they're the ones making their goat a scapegoat because they're not caring for it. Maybe it’s a mystical mediator, or maybe a mystical figure intervenes, mediating between you and your neighbors. What if the goat has a secret role to bring everyone together? What if the goat was…became mayor? Your assistant’s dreaming within its analysis, I think. The goat runs for mayor of the inn, which is a symbolic position, my assistant points out. So, it becomes a community-building thing. What if a documentary crew shows up? What if you have an ability to whisper to goats and you can make magical negotiations directly with the goat? Yeah, I mean, I don't know what else to say. I’m interested to think about my week. I’ve…after this discussion, I’ve almost forgot that I even had a week to discuss. Okay, okay, let’s talk about the feud, telling on the goat, pouring ash, egging, toilet paper, snow-plowing…okay, Freud might say that this is some underlying or unresolved conflict. Are these individuals symbolic of anyone? Maybe the pranks are passive-aggressive stuff that you perceive or maybe fear that you are doing it. Jungian…shadow projection…maybe these are parts of yourself you don’t like or you don’t want to acknowledge or confront or maybe even comfort. These actions are internal conflicts about unexpressed frustration. Comic misunderstanding…I don't think…yeah, this is where I finally realize my assistant was…needed to be redirected. It did take me a while, Bob, 'cause it’s so out there. Yeah, what if there was a comic misunderstanding? Community intervention game…community-wide game…time-warp prank…you want to hear about that, Bob? Let’s do the time work prank again. Okay, the feud triggers a time warp where each prank reverts the inn back to a previous historical period, providing educationally humorous insights into history. What if it’s a reality show unbeknownst to you, and…but it eventually strengthens community ties. What if it’s like your other dreams, a dream within a dream, and you're rewriting the dream to be more collaborative? Your assistant’s really putting a positive spin on all this. I like that. What if it’s a mystical truce offering and a mystical figure appears who offers a way towards a truce? Okay. This is where I redirected my assistant. I don't know how successful it was. It said, okay, what if it’s a unconscience…unconscious defence mechanisms, shadow play? Yeah, my assistant said, what if this is a reenactment of historical echoes or a trans…? I don't know how my assistant got so lost, Bob. Transformation ritual, portals…I love that your assistant loves portals. Yeah, I mean, it was good a few weeks ago when my assistant was really out there. Okay, let’s talk about to kiss the goat to end the feud. Freud, my assistant says, would say this is reconciliation through unconventional means. Maybe this is…kissing the goat is a symbolic gesture of making peace and reconciling that you…in a new way that you previously found difficult. Maybe this is…Jung would say it’s an embrace of the shadow. This is acceptance of the shadow aspects. The goat, capricious and stubborn, might represent traits you're learning to accept or integrate. So, congratulations. Maybe your assistant needs some of this, huh? Maybe. Maybe this is like modern…you're trying to resolve some sort of conflict in a unconventional way and achieve harmony. Maybe the goat is a symbolic mediator and it’s like nature’s healing role in peacemaking. Maybe there’s some sort of magical realism when you kiss the goat, where old grievances resolve. So, alls I would…that would be interesting if I brought a goat…similar to when people work amends in certan programs…but it said you show up with a goat and you kiss it, and then all of it dissolves. I guess that would be symbolic in that case, huh, Bob? I don't know. I mean, it sounds practical. I guess practical depends on how…if you live in…maybe we could do this…instead of a place having a walkability score, they have a goatability score. Oh, this town’s very goat-friendly. I think that would be pretty rare, Bob, unless you want to drive around with your goat. Yeah, but I just think…so, what…? Most places…I don't know what a walkability score is. 1 to 100? So, would you say some sort of manufactured version of a walkable city would be close to 100? New York City, like Manhattan or neighborhoods in New York or certain neighborhoods in big cities would be 99s. For walking, right, Bob? Not goats. Right, and then all those would probably have a goatability score of…well, it’d be higher than zero because you could walk with a goat, at least. If it’s walkable, it’s somewhat goatable. I understand…I’d say maybe a 30, where a farm, I think, would be the most goatable, but it wouldn't be walk…so, you're talking about a meta score, Bob. You're right. I am. You're combining a walk…do any apps do that, combine a goatability score with a walkability score? Not yet, Bob. But what if this is about atonement? The kiss is sometimes seen as a symbol of atonement and restoration of order. Maybe the goat is an oracle, and after the kiss, the goat speaks, offering wisdom. What if this is some sort of surreal peace agreement? Yeah, I think your assistant has really started to…caught up in the dreaming part. Yeah, this is interesting, Bob. I wonder what it says about my assistant. It seems to want good things, so…what if it’s transformation to a goat? After you kiss the goat, you transform into a goat and you get to experience the world from the goat’s perspective and understand and empathize with goats and other viewpoints. Wow, that’s…it’s like, 'cause we were talking about…'cause if you were a goat, you'd want to live in a area with a high goatability score. Do you think all of our meeting together, Bob, has resulted in us coming up with a goatability score? I don't know. Okay, well, let’s talk about your week. Okay, so, I was finishing a article that Carol helps me rewrite, and I noticed the one…this one…I just took notes. Carol is dressed very casually at work. I didn’t like it. Jerry comes in wearing this giant bowtie and he’s going on a date. I was like, you're going on a date with a bowtie, a giant bowtie? I don't know, then we talk a little bit about it 'cause Jerry’s not feeling great about himself. Even though he’s going on this date, he kinda feels old and dull and that he’s in the mouth-care business. He’s says, there’s…I don't know, he’s feeling down. Then I’m having dinner with Howard and Emily. We're having sesame bean curd balls. But all of a sudden, Jerry shows up with his date, and Howard…it made me…I was so bothered by this even though I didn’t say anything. Howard is clearly interested in Jerry’s date. ‘Cause those two aren't friends; they're both friends with me, and she’s a big traveller. She just is back…she was living in Singapore and then Shanghai, Hong Kong, and she’s just big into traveling. Then Howard’s still trying to…every time Jerry tries to talk to her, she tries to talk…Harold’s…or Howard’s trying to be impressive and steal the show. We're all talking about travel and not liking travel, and then Jerry says, okay, we're gonna go out and get cheeseburgers. Howard’s like, I think I’ll go with you two. I was like, they're going on a date, man. What are you doing? Oh, another thing…and I didn’t know…I think this was serious; she was trying to see the world…major places in the world in alphabetical order or visit nations in alphabetical order. Okay, then the next day, I see Jerry. He’s still down about himself, and he talks about…he has Muzak. He has a subscription to that actual thing 'cause…for people he helps. Then he has a giant, happy tooth that he’s trying to cheer himself up with. So, then he’s telling me about his date, that he was overcompensating. They went to his office. Then he said, I really…this was a old girlfriend of his or a old classmate of his, I think, back in school or something. They get…they're in his office…so, I was in his office talking about it while he’s telling me about it in their office. Then I said, wait a second…and this is something I don't want to be…he said, no, I was just showing her my office. He’s like, I don't know, I’ve fallen…he’s like, I fell for her really fast because we already had known each other. But she’s like, no, I’m a traveller. I can't stand still. Then he’s…well, I can't get you to stay here for a little while so we can see if we have a connection? She goes, no. Then he says, can I come with you? Yeah, then I met with one of my clients. He was in a really good mood. Said, are you stressed and covering it up? Then he said that about Jerry, 'cause Jerry was in such a good mood. So, then it was this weird dynamic. He goes, you seem…Jerry, you seem like there’s something going on. Why don’t you take my session? I know…yeah, I meet with my friends…I give my friends sessions. So, me and Jerry are talking about it, 'cause there’s obviously something…he’s very hyper. I say, what’s going on, man? He says, I’m moving to Tahiti and I’m just closing my practice down. I’m like, what do you mean you're closing your practice down? You worked so hard to build your practice. You didn’t…you're…oh, I’m definitely moving. I already started closing it down. He goes, maybe you could talk me out of it, but I don't think so. Then I think…now I can't remember 'cause of the dream…all this dream talk. I told him I always wanted to be a tap-dancer, but I realized it wasn’t realistic. I took tap for three years, believe it or not, but then I tried a couple tap contests; I couldn't win it. So, it was just more of…I should have just used it as a hobby, but then it was more of a fantasy that I was gonna win a tap contest. It was gonna change my life. So, then he says, listen, I know I’m going. This didn’t change my mind. I’m in love. I’m leaving. Then I had Elliot, my client, who’s telling me he feels like he’s been watching too many movies, and he’s got this idea in his head that…how do I say this? He’s kinda like…that…similar to your assistant; he thinks that not only can he communicate with a goat; he’s communicating with a goat telepathically. But it’s not a goat…but it’s a goat…kinda like a goat with horns. I’m like, wait a second, this is…I said, are…? He didn’t…I was like, okay, let’s just talk it out. But, I don't know, that just stuck out to me. I wrote it down. Then I was playing chess with Howard. He’s still learning, but then I found out he’s faking it. So, he’s playing me. So, he wins, and I was just like, wait a second, man…I don't know, I guess I have something going on with Howard and me, if you could tell. Then Emily was like…has what’s left of Jerry’s stuff. He sold everything from his practice other than the giant, friendly tooth. I can't believe it. I’m like, Jerry’s not gonna go. This is…why did he sell his practice? I didn’t think he was gonna follow through on it. There was all these other things, like surfing. There was all these…other stuff he was gonna do. Then I told…well, huh, I guess I shouldn't say this, but I told my client about my dream. I said, what if you kiss the goat in your dream on the forehead? He said, it’s not a dream. I said, what if you imagine you kiss your goat…this goat that’s talking to you on the forehead and it releases you from the conversation? So, that took…whatever. Then…still going back and forth, and Howard wants…is still tagging along everywhere to try to meet Jerry’s date still even though now they're moving to Tahiti together. So, Bob, he says, don’t…Bob, take care of my happy tooth. Can I drive you to the airport? Yeah…he says, yeah, I sold my car. But I’m still convinced…Emily is kinda broken up, and Carol, and even Howard. But I’m like, he’s not gonna get on the plane. He’s not leaving town. Then we're driving to the airport. I’m like, he’s gonna not go to the airport. Then he’s checking in. I’m like, don't worry, he’s gonna back out. Then he’s saying goodbye to everyone. I’m like, don’t say goodbye to me. I know you're not leaving. So, I guess I was in denial, right? Then he goes, and I couldn't believe it. He actually moved to…and I was like…even when…after he left and I got home, I’m like, he’s coming back. He’ll be back tomorrow. I keep waiting. I guess I keep waiting for him to come back. He’s kinda like my best friend, right? But I kinda still don’t…I guess he don’t believe he moved away. I mean, I heard from him that he got there and stuff, but I guess I’m hoping he comes back. So, I guess that makes sense. So, my dreams do make sense in that context, huh? Well, you'll be the one to decide that, Bob. But I’m glad we talked about it, and I’m sure everybody is…either you'll dream or my assistant will dream or…you don’t have to dream, either. You could just take it easy and say, yeah, I miss my friend Jerry. That’s okay. But he’s in Tahiti and I hope he’s enjoying himself, right? Maybe even dream of that, but daydream of it, your friend happy and in love on a trip. Alright, goodnight. Alright, goodnight, goodnight. Thanks.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)

Dreaming of Newhart

 

Plankton

https://oceanservice.noaa.gov/facts/plankton.html

https://www.nationalgeographic.com/animals/invertebrates/facts/plankton

https://www.salishseacentre.org/blog/2022/4/5/plankton-power-five-plankton-facts

 

Suzanne Pleshette

https://jimhillmedia.com/remembering-suzanne-pleshette/

https://www.tcm.com/tcmdb/person/153267%7C143625/Suzanne-Pleshette#overview

https://www.npr.org/2008/01/20/18267868/actress-suzanne-pleshette-dies-at-70

 

The Goat

https://edwardalbeesociety.org/works/the-goat-or-who-is-sylvia/

https://howlround.com/should-high-schoolers-perform-goat-or-who-sylvia

https://www.fanfunwithdamianlewis.com/?p=18742

 

Walkability Scores

https://www.paragonliving.com/blog/what-is-a-walkability-score

https://www.redfin.com/how-walk-score-works

https://www.cityhealthdashboard.com/metric/walkability

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

Did I say Boy or Poi?

Tuning in to turn in

I’m familiar with those letters and sounds, but that’s where it ends for me…

The addition of subtraction

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Acorns; Marley Spoon

 

INTRO

Thoughts: The more I think about them, the more I think about them

Do AI’s say, “Thinking,” instead of, “Buffering”?

Mother, can I have a caramel apple?

At SWM, time is an underfilled balloon

Filling it with warm, empty air

I always breathe out plant food

Sometimes I like to imagine I’m in a musical with plants

Plants and I have a pretty sweet relationship

I don’t know what phytoplankton is, that’s for sure

Step into my Plankton Room

Plankton-Adjacent Business (PAB)

I make a musical where the plankton are a chorus / audience

My own personal plankton

Remind me to do an episode about that

Lumped together across the world

I’ve been there, believe me

Assumptions About Plankton

Did I just make a rear end out of plankton and me?

Would I walk the plankton?

Talking about stuff, talking about Newhart and dreams

I’m here to be your boresib, your best bore friend 4 eva

My hot air might carry you off to dreamland

Explaining the show structure

Same structure, different tangents

The first intro I’m recording in the new year

I just want to help how I can

A standup comedy club for plankton

Scooter’s jokes: more than some assembly required

 

STORY

Scooter checks in to explain Dreaming of Newhart

An AI “Dream Expert”

Bob enters

Why is Bob so hesitant?

Not looking forward to discussing the dream

Looking forward to learning, maybe

Holy Albee, who is Sylvia?

Explaining the dream

In the dream, it should be spring but it’s still winter

Stephanie is not good at her housekeeping job

Stephanie is sassing the guests like a tween

George, our fix it person,  loves the winter

Stephanie’s BF, Peter, has canceled their vacation 3 times

2 tickets to Bermuda

Melville-esque paintings

Stephanie didn’t request time off

Then a Goat comes into the dining room!

Larry, Daryl, and Daryl enter

Their goat Martha

In the dream, I’ve seen this goat all the time!

Keep your goat out of my inn!

She likes watching Soul Train repeats

Stephanie has packed a lot of bathing suits

His name is Michael, not Peter

Michael cancels the trip again

Michael gives Stephanie a bracelet as an apology

The goat is eating my book draft!

This book draft was due!

The goat and Michael aren’t on my good list

Calling the Goat Patrol

George loves snowflakes

Trying to fix my manuscript

Larry, Daryl, and Daryl are upset with me because they had to let go of their goat

They are now in Feud

Bob refuses to feud

L, D, and D are pranking the inn

Who flattens a garbage can?

Nobody wants to check in

Stephanie is too upset to care for the guests

They pour ash down the chimney!

I spray LDD with the hose

Stephanie and Michael get ready to go on vacation again

But LDD have plowed in our driveway!

Stephanie needs to go on vacation

Stephanie deals with LDD to settle this

The goat is at the cafe, watching TV

They’ll end the feud if we give them the inn. No way!

They sell a Yankee Doodle Dog for $1.99

Apologize and kiss the goat!

I’ll apologize but I’m not going to kiss the goat

I kiss Martha on the forehead

Martha had horns. Is Martha a guy?

So that’s the dream

AI presents its simulated dream

The inn is bustling with peculiar happenings

Larry comes alone

He’s asking for a temporary home for a goat he acquired in a trade

The goat causes mischief but the guests love it

The goat is secretly enchanted and can speak through dreams

Larry comes up with a game for guests to win a day with the goat

A message about embracing the unexpected and peculiarities of life

Analysis Time

Long winter and delayed spring and Stephanie’s yearning to travel

Feeling powerless

Jungian – the season is a symbol

Prolonged period of introspection

The influence of Saturn

AI had a little bit of misunderstanding

What if the long winter is a C-U-R-S-E

That sounds like that Agatha song

Symbolic Groundhog Day

What if Stephanie finds a door that leads to a perpetual summer?

What’s up with the assistant

The Goat Causing Chaos

Freud – natural instincts manifesting in disruptive ways

Untamed aspect of psyche

How does a goat open a shower door?

Touching on a piece of modern playwriting

Jung – inner, hidden shadow aspects

Maybe you have to integrate them

What if the goat is a spirit guide trying to lead you?

Comedic Reality Shift

Shower Time Machine

Has the AI been watching a lot of TV?

Chaos Theory Ambassador

Does the goat represent community strain at the inn?

The goat turns the inn into a magical realm

The goat brings magical realism

Goat In The Dining Room

Maybe a desire for leisure?

My AI couldn’t make sense of this

Goat Watching TV

A Desire for leisure

What if the goat is a media critic?

Interspecies Communication Experiment

What if we’re in the goat’s dream and it just really wants to watch TV?

Is the TV a magic portal?

I don’t want to send the goat into a parallel reality willy nilly?

What if the TV breaks down interspecies barriers?

Maybe the goat wants to be an influencer?

Watch what the goat’s watching

Manifestation of community dynamics

A mock trial with a goat

Is the goat a scapegoat?

Mystical Mediator

The assistant is dreaming within its analysis

What if the goat became Mayor?

Let’s talk about the Feud now

Freud: Unresolved internal conflict

It took me a while to realize my assistant needed to be redirected

Time Warp Prank

Mystical Truce Frame

Unconscious Defense Mechanisms

I don’t know how the assistant got so lost

It’s great that the assistant loves portals

Kissing the Goat

Reconciliating Gestures

Embracing your shadow aspects

Is it a magical realism solution?

Goatability Score

If a city is walkable, it’s somewhat goatable

What if it’s about atonement?

A restoration of order

Surreal Peace Agreement

Is the whole point of this just to come up with the Goatability Score?

Talk about your week now

Carol is helping me edit an article

Carol is dressed too casual for work

Jerry comes in with a big bow tie, getting ready for a date

Jerry feels old and dull about himself

Having dinner with Howard and Emily

Sesame Beancurd Balls

Jerry shows up with his date

Howard is interested in Jerry’s date! WTF!

She’s a big traveler

Howard keeps trying to steal the show

Howard wants to crash their date

She’s trying to visit the world in alphabetical order

Jerry subscribes to the actual muzak

He was overcompensating on his date

They knew each other from the past

They visited his office last night

She doesn’t want to settle down right now

I’m visiting with a client, and it’s going okay

Sometimes I give my friend’s sessions

Why is Jerry so hyper?

He’s moving to Tahiti and closing his practice down!

I dreamt of being a tap dancer but then gave it up

He is in love and is leaving

My client thinks he’s watching too many movies

He thinks he can communicate telepathically with the Goat with horns

Howard hustles me in chess

Emily has what’s left of Jerry’s stuff

I didn’t think Jerry would follow through

I told client about my dream

Trying to get client to kiss the goat in his dream to release himself

Howard is still trying to get to Jerry’s date

Jerry sold his car

I still don’t believe it’s gonna happen

I was in denial

Jerry actually goes

I keep waiting for him to come back

But he’s my best friend and I hope he comes back

This was a good talk, Bob

It’s okay to miss your friend Jerry

Dream of your friend, happy and in love

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1340

Title: The Goat, or Who is Martha? | Dreaming of Newhart S3 E13

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Acorns; Marley Spoon

Notable Language:

• Poi
• The addition of subtraction
• Thinking
• Phytoplankton
• Plankton-Adjacent Business (PAB)
• My own personal plankton
• Assumptions About Plankton
• Melville-esque paintings
• Goat-Teller-On-Er
• Apologize and kiss the goat!
• C-U-R-S-E
• Symbolic Groundhog Day
• Comedic Reality Shift
• Shower Time Machine
• Chaos Theory Ambassador
• Interspecies Communication Experiment
• Watch what the goat’s watching
• Mystical Mediator
• Time Warp Prank
• Goatability Score
• Surreal Peace Agreement

 

Notable Culture:

• My Own Personal Biome, a musical starring me and some plants

• • Bob Newhart

• Newhart

• The Bob Newhart Show

• • Suzanne Pleshette
  • Edward Albee

• The Goat, or Who Is Sylvia?

• • Herman Melville

• Soul Train

• Wandavision

• Agatha All Along

• Groundhog Day

• Jurassic Park

• The Magic School Bus

 

Notable Talking Points:

• Thoughts: The more I think about them, the more I think about them
• Do AI’s say, “Thinking,” instead of, “Buffering”?
• Mother, can I have a caramel apple?
• At SWM, time is an underfilled balloon
• Filling it with warm, empty air
• I always breathe out plant food
• Sometimes I like to imagine I’m in a musical with plants
• Plants and I have a pretty sweet relationship
• I don’t know what phytoplankton is, that’s for sure
• Step into my Plankton Room
• Plankton-Adjacent Business (PAB)
• I make a musical where the plankton are a chorus / audience
• My own personal plankton
• Remind me to do an episode about that
• Lumped together across the world
• I’ve been there, believe me
• Assumptions About Plankton
• Did I just make a rear end out of plankton and me?
• Would I walk the plankton?
• Talking about stuff, talking about Newhart and dreams
• I’m here to be your boresib, your best bore friend 4 eva
• My hot air might carry you off to dreamland
• Explaining the show structure
• Same structure, different tangents
• The first intro I’m recording in the new year
• I just want to help how I can
• A standup comedy club for plankton
• Scooter’s jokes: more than some assembly required
• Scooter checks in to explain Dreaming of Newhart
• An AI “Dream Expert”
• Bob enters
• Why is Bob so hesitant?
• Not looking forward to discussing the dream
• Looking forward to learning, maybe
• Holy Albee, who is Sylvia?
• Explaining the dream
• In the dream, it should be spring but it’s still winter
• Stephanie is not good at her housekeeping job
• Stephanie is sassing the guests like a tween
• George, our fix it person,  loves the winter
• Stephanie’s BF, Peter, has canceled their vacation 3 times
• 2 tickets to Bermuda
• Melville-esque paintings
• Stephanie didn’t request time off
• Then a Goat comes into the dining room!
• Larry, Daryl, and Daryl enter
• Their goat Martha
• In the dream, I’ve seen this goat all the time!
• Keep your goat out of my inn!
• She likes watching Soul Train repeats
• Stephanie has packed a lot of bathing suits
• His name is Michael, not Peter
• Michael cancels the trip again
• Michael gives Stephanie a bracelet as an apology
• The goat is eating my book draft!
• This book draft was due!
• The goat and Michael aren’t on my good list
• Calling the Goat Patrol
• George loves snowflakes
• Trying to fix my manuscript
• Larry, Daryl, and Daryl are upset with me because they had to let go of their goat
• They are now in Feud
• Bob refuses to feud
• L, D, and D are pranking the inn
• Who flattens a garbage can?
• Nobody wants to check in
• Stephanie is too upset to care for the guests
• They pour ash down the chimney!
• I spray LDD with the hose
• Stephanie and Michael get ready to go on vacation again
• But LDD have plowed in our driveway!
• Stephanie needs to go on vacation
• Stephanie deals with LDD to settle this
• The goat is at the cafe, watching TV
• They’ll end the feud if we give them the inn. No way!
• They sell a Yankee Doodle Dog for $1.99
• Apologize and kiss the goat!
• I’ll apologize but I’m not going to kiss the goat
• I kiss Martha on the forehead
• Martha had horns. Is Martha a guy?
• So that’s the dream
• AI presents its simulated dream
• The inn is bustling with peculiar happenings
• Larry comes alone
• He’s asking for a temporary home for a goat he acquired in a trade
• The goat causes mischief but the guests love it
• The goat is secretly enchanted and can speak through dreams
• Larry comes up with a game for guests to win a day with the goat
• A message about embracing the unexpected and peculiarities of life
• Analysis Time
• Long winter and delayed spring and Stephanie’s yearning to travel
• Feeling powerless
• Jungian – the season is a symbol
• Prolonged period of introspection
• The influence of Saturn
• AI had a little bit of misunderstanding
• What if the long winter is a C-U-R-S-E
• That sounds like that Agatha song
• Symbolic Groundhog Day
• What if Stephanie finds a door that leads to a perpetual summer?
• What’s up with the assistant
• The Goat Causing Chaos
• Freud – natural instincts manifesting in disruptive ways
• Untamed aspect of psyche
• How does a goat open a shower door?
• Touching on a piece of modern playwriting
• Jung – inner, hidden shadow aspects
• Maybe you have to integrate them
• What if the goat is a spirit guide trying to lead you?
• Comedic Reality Shift
• Shower Time Machine
• Has the AI been watching a lot of TV?
• Chaos Theory Ambassador
• Does the goat represent community strain at the inn?
• The goat turns the inn into a magical realm
• The goat brings magical realism
• Goat In The Dining Room
• Maybe a desire for leisure?
• My AI couldn’t make sense of this
• Goat Watching TV
• A Desire for leisure
• What if the goat is a media critic?
• Interspecies Communication Experiment
• What if we’re in the goat’s dream and it just really wants to watch TV?
• Is the TV a magic portal?
• I don’t want to send the goat into a parallel reality willy nilly?
• What if the TV breaks down interspecies barriers?
• Maybe the goat wants to be an influencer?
• Watch what the goat’s watching
• Manifestation of community dynamics
• A mock trial with a goat
• Is the goat a scapegoat?
• Mystical Mediator
• The assistant is dreaming within its analysis
• What if the goat became Mayor?
• Let’s talk about the Feud now
• Freud: Unresolved internal conflict
• It took me a while to realize my assistant needed to be redirected
• Time Warp Prank
• Mystical Truce Frame
• Unconscious Defense Mechanisms
• I don’t know how the assistant got so lost
• It’s great that the assistant loves portals
• Kissing the Goat
• Reconciliating Gestures
• Embracing your shadow aspects
• Is it a magical realism solution?
• Goatability Score
• If a city is walkable, it’s somewhat goatable
• What if it’s about atonement?
• A restoration of order
• Surreal Peace Agreement
• Is the whole point of this just to come up with the Goatability Score?
• Talk about your week now
• Carol is helping me edit an article
• Carol is dressed too casual for work
• Jerry comes in with a big bow tie, getting ready for a date
• Jerry feels old and dull about himself
• Having dinner with Howard and Emily
• Sesame Beancurd Balls
• Jerry shows up with his date
• Howard is interested in Jerry’s date! WTF!
• She’s a big traveler
• Howard keeps trying to steal the show
• Howard wants to crash their date
• She’s trying to visit the world in alphabetical order
• Jerry subscribes to the actual muzak
• He was overcompensating on his date
• They knew each other from the past
• They visited his office last night
• She doesn’t want to settle down right now
• I’m visiting with a client, and it’s going okay
• Sometimes I give my friend’s sessions
• Why is Jerry so hyper?
• He’s moving to Tahiti and closing his practice down!
• I dreamt of being a tap dancer but then gave it up
• He is in love and is leaving
• My client thinks he’s watching too many movies
• He thinks he can communicate telepathically with the Goat with horns
• Howard hustles me in chess
• Emily has what’s left of Jerry’s stuff
• I didn’t think Jerry would follow through
• I told client about my dream
• Trying to get client to kiss the goat in his dream to release himself
• Howard is still trying to get to Jerry’s date
• Jerry sold his car
• I still don’t believe it’s gonna happen
• I was in denial
• Jerry actually goes
• I keep waiting for him to come back
• But he’s my best friend and I hope he comes back
• This was a good talk, Bob
• It’s okay to miss your friend Jerry
• Dream of your friend, happy and in love