1334 – Fun-for-all March | Bottoms Edition

Episode 1334 – Fun-for-all March | Bottoms Edition

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who really…I really don’t know what I’m talking about, and I don't know what I’ll be talking about. Sometimes people say that in a way that’s not meant to be…in this case it’s diffusing, I hope. I don't really know what I’m talking about. I wouldn't called myself the human diffuser 'cause I don't…I can't…but, you know, there’s diffusion; that’s the thing with the water. It’s kinda like a humidifier. I mean, if that’s diffuse, you could say I’m diffuse for sure. People put essential oils in there and then it…and I think a humid…here’s the thing; I take one…I have a little one. I think it’s just a humidifier, but I will put…I try to take it with me when I go to a hotel so that…I don't know, it keeps…it does help.

 

You say, what is this, the Diffusion Cast? I’d say, well, I don't know the…I’ll look up the…diffuse; I’ll look up that definition later, and…but I don't know. This is the podcast where I don't use words accurately. You say, I’m not sure that’s a accurate word…use of the word ‘accurate’. You can only use words correctly or incorrectly. I say, no, no, no, for me, it’s like…kinda like throwing…I’m throwing words at a board and I say, well, that one’s close to my meaning, so…yeah, it’s just a lower accuracy. My words are inaccurate or variable…now some said accuity is…but my words have a varying…what did I say, accuracy to…? Yeah, 'cause I guess…correct or incorrect; that’s kind of on or off.

 

I’ll just say one more thing…is when you're trying to communicate in another language, there is…you say, okay, I kinda get what you're saying, but…I was trying to think of an example. The only example…I’ll be honest; the only example that popped in my head was papel picado, and then I was trying to say, what if I mis-said that when I was trying to get, I don't know, the kind of paper for the bathroom? Then they said, no, no, no, you can't take that papel picado in the bathroom with you, obviously. That would be a case where inaccuracy…'cause they…especially if it was…they say, these kids just worked on that all day long. Also, it may be made from indelible ink, too. Anyway, you may have…you may be like, what did I just tune into?

 

This is a sleep podcast meant to be your friend in the deep, dark night, to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff and ease you into bedtime so that you could eventually fall asleep. But I’m really here to be your friend talking to you. It is a very different show. Most regular listeners say it takes two or three episodes to even get used to it, because most of the time you're like, what is this dude…did he just go from talking about…? I’d say, you're right, and this is just the very beginning of the show. So, just see how it goes. I’m really glad you're here. What we got coming up; support so the show comes out free twice a week, then there’s a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime slowly.

 

That’s about fifteen, twenty minutes, then there’s support, then there will be a bedtime story. Tonight I’m hoping it’ll be…I don't know if it’ll be a one-part pitch or a two-part pitch or four or five parts about a movie idea I’ve had for a long time that I wrote and then deleted all the copies I wrote as a screenplay. But recently in the past year, I said, wait a second, now I know who could make…who could star…one person who could star in the movie, one person who could direct it and hopefully write it or help me write it or whatever. I just thought of that outside…and I said, that could be a podcast episode, actually. So, yeah, that’s what we got coming up. I’m glad you're here, and thanks for making it possible, my bore-friends.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. That could be thoughts, things on your mind that you're thinking about, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thinking thoughts, so things…thoughts; they keep me up. It could be feelings, anything…physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine. That’s been my thing, routine. It could be you work a different shift.

 

I just heard from somebody that works a third shift. So, whatever it is that’s keeping you awake…the only reason I go through some of those things is so you know you're not alone. I say this every episode because it’s important, because…and maybe you don’t feel this way, and that’s great if you don’t feel some sort of twinge of loneliness in the deep, dark night. But yeah, this podcast is here to kinda let you know that, yeah, there’s other people listening right now who can probably relate to how you feel and what you're going through, and probably I can, too, because I’ve been there; trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations.

 

So, whatever it is, there’s someone listening right now who does…can relate to where you're at, and they are glad you're here, and they really hope this podcast can help you out. Not only that; maybe it just helps you temporarily or through the phase, but if you become a regular listener, they…these people that are sitting up in their bed right now welcoming you in, I don't know if…can you feel that? I can feel it, really. I can feel it. They hope that one day you're the one welcoming people in and saying, man, whoever out there is listening right now, I’m glad they're here, too, and I really hope this podcast can help them like it helped me, because I tried a bunch of different stuff, then I listened…even I started listening to this podcast.

 

I thought it was super strange, I wondered why it was never getting sarted or going anywhere, and then all of a sudden I realized I woke up the next day and then it started working for me, having somebody keep me company and take my mind off of stuff, and then I just fall asleep. The podcast doesn't put me to sleep. Now I’m getting the sleep I need where my life is more manageable and the stuff I used to dread at bedtime or waking up is not quite as bad. The podcast doesn't help me all the time or it’s not perfect, but it’s there when I need it or it’s there. Even when it’s not working to put me to sleep, it’s keeping me company and putting a mild smile on my face. So, I hope that happens for you, too. I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.

 

I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents, all to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff. It just means…well, you've already listened, so you know what a pointless meander…you've already seen pointless meanders and superfluous tangents. So superfluous, I can't remember the words I don't…oh…no, not ‘accurate’. Oh, diffusion, diffuse, diffuse. I gotta look up that word. I might as well do it now while I’m here. Diffuse…I don't even…D-I-F-F-U-S-E, is it that simple? D-I…I put two Is. D-I-F-F-U-S-E. Diffuse; okay. It’s looking it up. Diffuse; spread over a wide area or among a large number of people. To spread out, not…so, it’s spreading out the water. A diffuser is spreading out the water. Is there other ones? Let’s see, what’s a good dictionary?

 

Let’s go to Cambridge, right? Yeah, usually with gas or a liquid…but it says television does it, too. What else do we got? Spread out, not directed in one place. I don't know what…'cause I was saying my words are generally inaccurate or…so, I don't know how I got on ‘diffuse’, but…to cause something to spread in many directions. I guess my thoughts are diffuse, then. My brain causes…or my…something in my personality causes my thoughts to be diffuse or diffuse. So, yeah, I guess that happens for sure. Not sure what my…oh, that was a pointless meander. I was like, not sure what my point was. But if you're new here, a couple things to know.

 

If you already think you're gonna stop playing the podcast and never listen to me again and you're having super strong feelings about me, I have a website set up for you, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. That really has other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there, because some people just don’t like me or the podcast. But you still deserve a good night's sleep, so, check those shows out. But if you're not sure…and the thing is, most people get here…and you might be a little bit grouchy because you're tired and you've tried a bunch of stuff to fall asleep, and somehow you found this podcast. Maybe somebody recommended it, you read about it, or you searched and found it, and now you're wondering what’s going on. So, of course you're gonna be grouchy or skeptical or doubtful.

 

That’s how most people arrive at this podcast. Then for most people that become regular listeners, they arrive here and then they say, I’m not so sure about this. What is he rambling on and on about? How is this even gonna help me fall asleep, and…? So, that’s normal, too, and that’s just what most regular listeners say; give it a few tries. See how it goes. So, what else do you need to know? Oh, so that’s if you don’t like the show. Give it a few tries. This is a podcast you just kinda barely listen to, kind of like background noise or a out-of-focus picture or a diffuser. It takes water…in this case it’s sensible…well, at some point, before the thoughts enter my brain, they're probably sensible, but then once they start going through my brain, they get spread out like a mist.

 

More like a fog from…more like a fog from a London movie, the London Docks…the fog that’s associated with the London Docks. Not fancy fog. It’s funny; there’s raincoats, or there were, called London Fog. Those were fancy raincoats. But when I think about cinematic fog or fog…yeah, cinematic fog that…that’s what my thoughts would be, especially…it might be black and white, too. So…oh boy, how did I get…? Oh, so, yeah, the podcast just…it’s foggy. Also, this is a podcast…while it’s a sleep podcast and while I’ve been making it a long time, it doesn't really put you to sleep. This podcast is here to keep you company while you fall asleep, to take your mind off of stuff or to give you a break during the day. But there’s no pressure to fall asleep at all.

 

There’s people who are listening who can't sleep, and so, I’m here to the very end whether you're awake or asleep. I’m just here to talk and for you to barely listen to me. I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your Borbie, your bore-bestie, your bores, your neigh-bore…did I say Borbie? That’s a made-up word where I got confused with neigh-bore. Your bores…yeah. Whatever it is, I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, keep you company while you fall asleep, like talk you to sleep. Well, not exactly; just take your mind off of stuff and give you a mild distraction. So, the podcast doesn't put you to sleep, it takes a while to get used to…I don't really listen to it but I kinda listen to it.

 

Your pro listeners that are skeptical and doubtful and even…you want me to fall asleep whether I like you or not, even if it’s with another podcast…yes, yes, all of those, yes. What other good…? You're a very acquired taste, I understand. What else…what other good news? Well, we have…our show is structured in a way that some people just don’t like, but it’s like, the majority of people listen to the show in one manner, and it benefits a lot of people because most people listen to this free, ad-supported version of the show linearly, and so, the reason we structure the show in the way is just to benefit as many people as we can. But there are plenty of ways to adjust the show if this main version doesn't work for you.

 

So, the show starts off with a greeting so you feel seen and welcomed in and you say, okay, I could check that podcast out. It sounds a little bit goofy. You sound a little bit different, but, fine, I’ll check it out. Yeah, I feel seen and I’ll check it out from a distance. Most people like that part. Then there’s support so the show…paying for the show is optional, basically. So, if you want to pay for the show, then you don’t have to listen to the support. But if you prefer to just listen for free, that works…that’s what works for most people. Then there’s an intro which is separate from the support and it’s a show within a show, but it go…it’s where I ineffectively explain what the podcast is and go off topic, and I take fifteen or twenty minutes to do so. You say, why would you keep doing that for 1,200+ episodes?

 

Actually, this one’s probably closer to 1,300. I say, great question. The reason is because the intro is different every time but it’s familiar. So, it follows a familiar structure and a familiar, meandering path so you say, oh, there’s my bore-friend again getting confused about words. But you’d also…don’t know what I’m gonna talk about. So, regular listeners, there’s a sense of reassurance, there’s a sense you're part of a community of listeners — these are real things — there’s a sense your sleep is important and you're important and your rest is important and you deserve that, but it’s also different every time. So it’s like, oh, I’m reassured, but it’s…also has variety. Because whatever keeps me awake personally at night, it’s learning.

 

It has machine…it has organic learning, machine learning, AI learning, Id, ego, super…it’s got all those things. So, anything I try to use to put me to sleep, if it doesn't have variety, it adjusts and then keeps me awake. So, that’s why the intro is different every single time. But it’s also designed to go on for about ten or fifteen or twenty minutes as a part of your bedtime routine, because that’s what’s been shown to work. It’s what’s worked for me personally, and it’s what works for most people, is getting ready for bed or doing a chill activity or being in bed getting comfortable. The intro eases you into bedtime and gives you a buffer between wake and sleep. Now, there are some people that skip the intro.

 

Great news; we got a new podcast called Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me where you could just listen to the stories there so you don’t have to skip the intros anymore. But most people like the intro easing them into bedtime. Or you could support the show on Sleep With Me+. You get story-only episodes. Or if you want intro episodes, there’s way more variety there. But yeah, for most people, the intro is a wind down, a landing strip. Then after the intro is support, then after the support will be our bedtime story. Tonight it’ll be a story about movies and about a story I made that I didn’t…well, I finished it. It’ll be a little bit of personal essay mixed with a pitch, or maybe the pitch will be the next episode. I don't know.

 

Then there’s thank-yous at the end of the show. So, that’s the structure of the podcast, really, and why I make it. I’ve been there and I want you to be able to get a good night's sleep, and I hope we can have fun together doing it, or a mild form of fun. Like I said, you bare…some people will barely smile at this. Believe me, with the e-mails I get, more people get a frowny face on this show. That’s why…I don't even know…we probably had sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou up for five or six years. So, that…you say, okay, yeah, if you loathe me, just check that out and still get some sleep.

 

You don’t gotta…you don’t gotta…you don’t have to send me all caps or whatever. So, yeah, that’s the structure of the show. That’s why I make the show. I’m really glad you're here. Believe it or not, even though this sounds totally free and easy, it takes a team of people to put this show out, and we all yearn and we strive. We really want to help you fall asleep. So, thank you so much for coming by, and here’s a couple ways we're able to do it for you for free twice a week.

 

Hey everybody, this is Scoots. This episode was recorded a long time ago. I mean, in Sleep With Me terms, like eight to ten months ago, before a lot of stuff went on in my personal life. So, there will be a second part of this that I’m actually getting ready to record. But just so you know, time-wise, there’s a pretty big time gap between this first episode and the second episode. In the listening phase, it should be about a month apart. So, the context of me…my life when I made this episode with my family structure…and I guess I’ll just say it 'cause this is early in the episode; there’s not a lot of talk about it in this episode…there’s talk about more R-rated…an R-rated movie in this episode.

 

I don't know…I don't really do R-rated stuff in this episode, but also just my mom going from over the rainbow bridge to the big farm in the sky is a big part of this. Not…very subtly and indirectly, but I just wanted to mention it so you have a little more context when you listen. If you're new, I’m glad you're here. I really care about you, and that’s why I try to…I always try to put a soft edge on everything 'cause I know I’m putting you to sleep, but also to give you stuff…I don't know, that’s grounded, too. So, anyway, thanks so much.

 

Alright everybody, this is Scoots here. This is yet another different style, a kinda random episode, and this might take more than one part to get through. It probably will, and even to unfold the idea, it might take me a little while. So, settle in. It’ll be lulling, it’ll be soothing, it’ll be boring, but…and if you're listening, it’ll be just barely listenable. It has a purpose. It has layers, personal layers, imaginary layers, and also stuff you could check out and you probably will enjoy while you're awake. So, where do we start? So, basically this is a pitch, a movie pitch of a specific movie to a specific writer/director and a couple of her collaborators, or at least one of her collaborators, and I’ll kinda slow roll into that. But you could also check the show notes. Or, yeah, no, let’s start with that; why…who, what, where, when, why, how?

 

How much of that do I…? Who, what, where, when, why, how. Okay, so, yeah, let’s start with this and then maybe you could do some enjoyment. I’m not…I’m trying…I’m not gonna…I’m trying not to spoil any of the plots. Where would you start? Well, let’s start with where did all this come from, and we’ll work our way back from the present into the past instead of the past into the present. Okay, so, not too long ago…let me check my dates here. I’m not gonna look it up on Wikipedia, though. So, not too long ago, my daughter said, dad…she had gone to see Bottoms when it came out in the theatre. Then she said, dad…as soon as Bottoms was available, she said, I really want to watch Bottoms with you on…so, as soon as it was available on streaming, she was like, let’s watch Bottoms.

 

I probably should have just bought it, but it was something…which is a really cool…in a father-daughter relationship for me of someone that loves movies and having my daughter love movies and then having her develop her own taste in movies to the point where it’s like, hey, I saw this movie; you probably heard about it, dad, but I want to sit down and watch it with you. I know you haven't seen it yet. It’s a movie I love and I think you're gonna love it, too. It’s a very special moment, and especially for…I don't know. When you have your own…I really feel good about it because my daughter took a risk and said, hey, let’s watch this movie that’s important to me, and I really hope you’ll like it, and…but not that you have to like it, but I really think you will like it.

 

Then, I don't know, that means a lot to me, especially 'cause I am a grouch and I’m not…with a lot of people other than my daughter, they say, hey, you gotta watch this or you gotta listen to it. I know my daughter has good taste. So…you know what I mean? If it was someone else, I might be like, well, maybe…I’ll check it out at some point. So, I guess what I’m saying is this was a very important bonding moment. But so, at first it was my daughter taking a risk, which is important, then watching the movie and loving it and having a different frame of reference than my daughter has…'cause this may have been one of the first teen coming-of-age comedies my daughter…well, of this kind of style that my daughter had seen where I had seen a lot more of these, and ones from many different decades.

 

So, right now we're talking about the movie Bottoms. I don't want to spoil it. Let’s just go with the basic…what is…? I don't think this…but it’s…Bottoms came out in 2023. Two unpopular queer high-school students start a club like a dance-off club, but based…that’s similar to a movie that wasn’t called Dance-Off Club but that came out…that Brad Pitt and Edward Norton were in. But this movie’s a comedy. It’s not like that movie. But they start the dance-off club so that they could have situations where their backs are sweating before they graduate from high school, and that’s the sleepy…Sleep With Me-version of the log line. So, let’s see…and then the rest of it kinda describes the plot. So, I’m not gonna read that because…this movie is awesome. I think it’s R. It’s listed as dark comedy and raunchy comedy.

 

We can say ‘raunchy comedy’, I think, here on Sleep With Me. So, it’s directed by Emma Seligman. It was written by Emma Seligman and Rachel Sennott, and it stars Rachel Sennott and Ayo Edebiri. So, where do we go from here? It’s a awesome movie. You should watch it. Then you should watch…Rachel Sennott and Emma Seligman did two more movies, which you could watch I think…well, you can definitely watch Shiva Baby, the full-length movie, but you can also watch the student film…you can watch that on the internet. You’ll probably find that in the internet, but you could stream Shiva Baby and then you could watch…if you want just a little more Rachel Sennott, you could watch Charli XCX do his video when I’m recording this, which is just funny because I was gonna record this and then the video came out.

 

But it’s just a fun video, and it’s probably gonna be the song of the summer. You'll probably be hearing this after the summer. But Rachel Sennott’s in the video, so…and then if you want even more Rachel Sennott or more Ayo Edebiri, you could start with either of their…any of the comedy that they’ve done or The Bear, obviously, and I guess…oh, wait, I should tell you about…let me get to the plot of Shiva Baby. So…well, maybe…let’s see, how do I do this? It’s a different…so, this is why it’s important and this is where it came from. Okay, so, let’s go back to Bottoms. So, Bottoms…if you listen to Sleep With Me and you are a superfan of Sleep With Me where you…that you've heard episodes while you're awake, the sense of humor and the kind of…I don't know.

 

I don't know if ‘surreal’ is the right word, but what’s a word that is kind of like…? A playful take on reality. Well, first of all, I guess my daughter was like…even though I’m a fifty-year-old dude…that…she’s like, which of the main characters do…are you more…who are you more like? ‘Cause I shared…I don't know, and that’s the sign of a good movie, even though it was a teen comedy. Well, it just reminded me of being a teen and just my personality. I don't know where I’m going with this. But also, the whole humor and style of the movie…what is that, surrealist…? I’m not…‘surreal’ is the wrong word, but I guess a playful take on reality, like humor that’s grounded in reality but also a playful reality as far as there’s just some things that are just over the top, very similar to Sleep With Me. It’s just a really, really funny movie.

 

I guess what it comes down to is it’s really funny, really well done, and I think if you listen to Sleep With Me, probably relatable in some ways, and maybe if…a chance to bond with a younger teen in your life. Shiva Baby is also very, very relatable, but that one is more of…that is more of a dark comedy, and its comedy is based in tension and it’s a much different movie, and it has…and I feel like…but as soon as I saw Bottoms, something started…I don't know, something just…just the combination of the writing, the performances, and the style of the movie I really liked. I said, wow, this is really a movie that’s right…exactly in my wheelhouse. Then we saw Shiva Baby and then I said, okay, this is a much different movie but still shares some…a lot of elements.

 

Rachel Sennott is in both movies and…I don't know, where am I going with this? I don't know, can we do a placeholder? I guess let’s just say, when I saw Bottoms, I was very inspired. Then I saw Shiva Baby, then I saw the original…the short…the original short…more inspired…also, always, The Bear is a great show. So, all those things are kind of inspiring to me, right? Again, I have it layered with my…just being a really cool family moment, I guess, too. But there’s also…I said ‘but’ in a negative way, but this is a positive ‘but’. A positive ‘but’. This ‘but’ is positive. So, when I…when that stuff happens, there’s a spike when you really like something or whatever, and there’s a burst of inspiration of like, oh, wow…again, I guess I kinda go back to this, of like…so impressed.

 

Like, how did this manage…something so cool manage to come together? Amazing, all that kinda stuff. But then there’s also what happens on…in what I call the story swamp or whatever you want to call it, the subconscious or behind the scenes or marination or percolation or whatever is going on in the background. So, the short version is after I saw Bottoms, I was just…so, I guess now I lost my track of thought again. I don't know, I’m trying to be…talk about something that’s important to me that’s made by other creative people, I really get self-conscious. I’ll just be honest. So, it just becomes hard for me to talk about because then I’m getting drawn off topic by my overthinking.

 

Let’s just say that after seeing Bottoms, I was very impressed by the directing and then the writing that Rachel Sennott and Emma Seligman did, and then the performances of Rachel Sennott and Ayo Edebiri. Then seeing Shiva Baby kind of cemented the writing and directing part and the performance part. But that was just in the back of my mind, right, and I had a good feeling…good feels around it or whatever because it was something special I shared with my daughter. I guess I didn’t even realize sometimes…I mean, I guess this is a personal-essay episode, so…and a lot of times I firewall this stuff from the podcast, to be honest. Even my fandom…there are crossover episodes I do and stuff like this, but sometimes I like to keep my family stuff and even my fandom kept out of the podcast.

 

But, I don't know, this sprang to my mind because it was sitting…running in the background with this other piece, which…so, okay, so that’s the setup, the present. Now we’ll go to the past and where the present and the past are kind of combining to make a series of podcast episodes? I don't know. Okay, so, if you're a long-time listener of Sleep With Me, you'll know that…or if you're a creative person, maybe, you'll know that Sleep With Me is not the first thing I tried and wasn’t my first attempt at being creative, and mostly, Sleep With Me is a lot of regular, consistent work or whatever. But Sleep With Me kind of was part of a process of non-successes and personal changes that led to me making Sleep With Me and following through on it enough to get to where it is now, where you could be listening to it.

 

So, I guess I should explain that part next, because that’s how we get to talking about Bottoms. But how do we get to Bottoms? Wasn’t there some other accidental Bottoms thing I said in there, though, that I forgot about? I don't remember now. Oh no, I was talking about ‘but’. But so, okay, so, let’s see, where…? Maybe this will be really long and meandering. Okay, so, my whole life…so, it’s really cool to see three really talented women that are just starting out their careers and succeeding and creating amazing things. That’s very inspiring to me and it makes me very hopeful. It’s like, wow, all three of these women are gonna have really long, really interesting, cool careers, I believe. So, that’s exciting. But so…oh, so, Sleep With Me, my path to Sleep With Me…how do we get to…how do we get here? So, I don't know.

 

I guess as a kid and a young adult, I always thought I was gonna be…I was obsessed…I wanted to be a director or a writer and I was very obsessed with movies and stuff like that, but I didn’t necessarily have the wherewithal or the dedication, and I was really dominated by fantasy about that stuff instead of follow-through, and my fantasies really came from also a place of fear. So, I was kind of a wannabe, in a sense. So, I guess what I’m saying is even though I’m much older than them, these three are kinda…we're talking about heroines, but it’s also for my daughter, too. So, it’s like…or examples or things to strive for, to be inspired by. As a kid, I didn’t have…I guess I had general ideas of that, but I didn’t have something more solid or concrete. So, I fantasize; oh, one day I’m gonna be a writer, director.

 

Then I tried…I applied to school, but by the time I applied to school, I had already had another passion in my life, which was…provided very easy escape for me into fantasy and away from fear, and that was…let’s…that was getting loaded, we’ll say. That’s the sleepy way to say it, right, in this part of the podcast. So, that kind of curbed a lot of ambition because I felt like, oh, I don't have to face any of these fears. Is that important? Maybe in a strange way it’s important later on, but it’s more of like I just wasn’t able to follow through on or face the discomfort for a long time. So, I didn’t follow through on a lot of stuff. Or, maybe I would start stuff and not finish, and that went for most of my young adulthood. Then at some point…and interestingly enough, I guess my daughter’s involved in this.

 

When my daughter was born, I was still escaping through getting loaded and not following through on stuff and kind of living a life kind of in stasis and not growing up and waiting and saying, well, one day I think I’ll get to things, but that day’s coming when the circumstances are right or whatever. So…but that day didn’t necessarily come. But when my daughter was born, there was a part of me that was kind of like, man, you have…you're gonna try to raise her to do whatever she wants, to be inspired by heroines or whatever, to follow through like they're following through, or to have their ups and downs which probably aren't public but they're experiencing privately, and the hard work that they're experiencing privately, and the need to face fear and discomfort and hard work.

 

So, you're gonna tell your daughter that she’s capable of all that, whatever path…at this time, it wasn’t like a creative path. It was just like, hey, you're gonna tell her she can do and follow and try, and that’s what I really wanted for her. But what would you do when your daughter’s old enough to say, well, that’s great that you're telling…this was all an imaginary conversation, by the way, 'cause she was like, one, or…yeah, twenty…so, that’s great, but what are you gonna do when she’s like sixteen or seventeen or eighteen, right around the time when we watched Bottoms? Again, this is an imaginary conversation from the past. I’m just…but she said…says, hey dad, that’s great you're telling me I could do whatever I want, but you've never…you don’t believe what you're saying. You’ve never put it into practice.

 

So, how…why would I believe you? Even though you might believe in me, you don’t believe in it. You don’t have any hope or faith, or you haven't actually tried any of this stuff. There was something about that imaginary conversation that really…it didn’t change my current trajectory that I was on, but it did plant a seed. It was like…I am softening it. It was at a point of like, things…I was…some part of me was aware that I was not on the right path, and it was just another layer. But it was the truth, too. It’s like, hey, I really do want the best for her and I really do want her to find her way and to try and become…to flourish in the world. Then some part of that played out where it was like, but you're not doing that. How are you gonna transmit something you have not got, I guess? I was like, oh boy.

 

So, it led me to say, maybe I do need to try at least a little bit, even though I wasn’t ready to make the changes I needed and get sober or even realize…at the time, it was like…realize that that was a issue or whatever. That was something I needed to do. ‘Cause, again, sober and being creative are on parallel paths but not the same thing, right? I’ve talked about all this before, but…I didn’t think this would be such a personal essay, but to get to the movie pitch, which will probably be…we gotta get there, right? So…okay, so…yeah, and then we’ll just…if this takes a hour, then we’ll just do the next one as a straight-up movie pitch. I don't know, or…but I think it’s gonna be…anyway, why am I already…? I guess I’m just in a place of discomfort now. I’m being honest. I’m being vulnerable, but it’s important.

 

Okay, so, I decided I would try. I think all tries…a lot of these things do start in a place of delusion. So, it was good I was in…I was like, it doesn't matter as long as I try to do something or something, basically, to follow through at all or to take any kind of action to be creative other than imagining it or kind of noodling. There was times I was like, yeah, I’ll write for a little while, and then I would write…take three months and then I’d write again or I’d have an idea for the story. So, the choice I made for myself…and I wasn’t in the greatest financial position. So, there’s…a lot of times, there’s…a big university will have extention classes for adults at night, but those tend to be very expensive.

 

So, at first I was like, oh, maybe I’ll take one of these extension classes, and I think I had taken one years before at another point before my dauhgter was born that I was gonna follow through on, but I wasn’t capable of following through there, and I probably…maybe I was in a better financial place or whatever. But this time I was like, I can't really afford to take a extention class 'cause it’s out of my price range. This ended up being a positive thing 'cause it was like, well, why don’t I take…why don’t I try to take a class at a community college? So, then I was like, oh, wow, there are actually pretty good choices. Because I live in the Bay Area, there’s more than one community college within an hour’s drive. So, I had a lot of good options.

 

So, I don't know exactly how this happened because it had some…but basically, I definitely enrolled in one class one semester. Maybe I enrolled in two or maybe I waited ‘til the next semester to enroll in two classes. I can't quite remember that part…and that eventually I may have…I don't know, some of it’s foggy. But I enrolled in this one class which was a narrative script-writing class, and it was a Level 1 class. So, that meant there was a Level 2, class, too. Maybe there was even three levels. I’m not sure. But so, I enrolled in that class, and it was a pretty big class. There was a pretty wide range. I was probably on the older end of the students, and there was a lot of people I think taking it as a part of their regular coursework. The teacher, her name was Joey, and basically for the class, we had to come up with a pitch of a story.

 

Am I missing anything in here? Oh no, I’ll skip over part of it to kinda get you to Sleep With Me, and then we’ll backtrack? I guess that makes sense. But, yeah, so basically for that class, we had to come up with an idea which…that’s actually the idea I came up with in that class that I kind of…was one of the first things I ended up sticking with for a while, and actually so long…'cause this was well before Sleep With Me, like years and years and years before. So, whatever, I took that class, I wrote up a treatment, maybe, of this story pitch, maybe started writing, outlining, or, yeah, I guess trying to go through what is the story here. I have the idea. What’s the story? Then I took a class again…the second class, same teacher, Joey. A lot of students were different.

 

A couple of the students were the same, where it was the Level 2 course where we were trying to more write it and read scenes, go through…start writing the screenplay or the script or whatever. I definitely was trying…I met with the teacher a couple times 'cause I was like, man…I don't know, I started to want it. But again, I was still pretty big on getting loaded, too, and I had a job and a new family and all that. So, it was like…I don't know, it was like a juggling act and I wasn’t really juggling all the balls, anyway. That’s not self-depricating. It’s just the fact of the way things were at the time. Things needed to change and eventually they would. But, I don't know, it was also the path that led me to where we are right now in this moment, right?

 

Okay, so, then I was doing some writing, then actually…I don't know if there was a Level 3 course or just some of us in the class…I want to say there was a Level 3 course. But some of us stuck together and did a writing…maybe they did a writing salon, but some of us would still meet…I think even for a while, the teacher, Joey, was involved, and we would kinda go over each other’s writing. So, I was kinda following through with that, right? Then I also became friends with people in class, and then we were trying to do stuff outside of class, and that I was kinda following through on, though, also, again, I was kind of my own…my inability to be sober also created…the focus had to be both drinking and writing.

 

But at least in some sense it was like I was following through and I had the time carved out, and I was doing writing when I was on the train and stuff like that, but there was still a block there. I mean, again, I’ve talked about this in different milestone episodes of the podcast before. Also somewhere in there, I had the idea for Sleep With Me, years before I started Sleep With Me, and I’ve talked about that kind of genesis. It kinda came out of…progressed with my insomnia, then telling people stories on camping trips or when we're hanging out, and then being like, ‘Could that be a podcast?’ as I started listening to podcasts and realizing you could do a podcast about anything. Then even the first two ideas for the podcast…one was…After the Glass Slipper was playing with dolls when my daughter was real little.

 

But she was probably three or four or five, and I was playing with the stepmother and she was playing with Cinderella and Prince Charming, and I was playing with the stepsisters…and that she was…that it was like, oh, maybe this…could this be a story for that sleep podcast idea or a story of something? Then GoT I was watching at the time, and that was right around the wedding…the big wedding episode, I think. This is…I’m not totally clear on this, but…and I was like, oh, couldn't I do a podcast about that? It would be like, even…I don't know if those things were at the same time. It was like, oh yeah, you could do a sleep podcast about that, and it would be a year or two years later. I know because when that big wedding episode came, that was the first time I watched it.

 

This was also around the time…actually the end of Lost, the finale of Lost. These all kinda line up with…towards the end for me of my getting loaded. But the last episode of Lost and the GoT wedding were two times…milestone television moments, 'cause they weren't streaming. Maybe I had a DVR, but that I was…did not…the first time I watched both of those, maybe even the second time I watched both of those, I was so out of it that I didn’t even know what had happened in either one, fully, 'cause I had to be so loaded 'cause it was such a special moment to enjoy it. So, what is my point in all this? Oh, I guess we’ll…so, eventually what happened was the idea for Sleep With Me was there. This other screenplay or story idea I had I was still working with.

 

The only other thing I’ll lay out is at some point on there, I started listening to Scriptnotes podcast, and that was…so, these are little seeds or breadcrumbs that were planted in my mind, because I was listening to Scriptnotes and I was trying to write a screenplay, and I was listening to John and Craig’s advice. I think this was at…right around I started listening…their first year…at the end of their first year, I’m pretty sure, and then I listened to all the episodes leading up to it. But so…but John and Craig, their advice first…people wanting to get into any creative thing that stuck with me at the time was just keep making stuff and keep getting better and better and putting it out there. If you can make anything that you can make yourself that would be in public, that’s probably gonna help you.

 

Also this idea of like, hey…whatever you think success is, it’s gonna look a lot…everybody’s got a different way…every person has a different way to becoming…to getting a job and making creative stuff. Every path is different, and your path is gonna be different than you expected, and success is not gonna be what you expect. It’s gonna be different than what you expect. But just keep trying and keep getting better and take feedback and all this stuff. Those are the things that are under your control. There isn't…if you're gonna have a big break or anything, it’s gonna be from those things, and the opportunities will grow out of that. Again, that’s not what I’m saying they were saying. That’s what I took away from it. So, along that…along those ways, my…a lot of things in my life became more and more clear.

 

I had a issue with alcohol and…but…well, I don't know if it became more and more clear, but on some level some part of me knew that. I was kind of trying more a little bit, or more and more and more. I had set aside time even though I was having…struggling with my drinking…that I was following through on writing some stuff with two other people and working on this screenplay, and that’s in my spare time while still…you know, with everything else going on. Then what happened was the kinda…one of…the fun project I was working on, we all…I was…actually kinda had John and Craig in my mind. I was like, hey, we gotta film this. But I’m not a very good actor, which is true. That’s not self-depricating.

 

I have an inability…I don't know, Sleep With Me is a different context, 'cause I’ve tried to do stuff, other stuff, and this was one example. One of the guys was like, no, no, no, we need real people doing…performing our writing. We just couldn't…I was like, I don't know, I really want to get this made. So, we just decided, hey…he was gonna try to do it himself with…in a more professional way instead of doing it…and maybe there’s a part of him that knew that like…hey, this guy Drew, he’s not…he’s got other issues going on and he’s not able to…I was kind of like an anchor, and not the positive anchor. So, whatever, we parted ways, we’ll say, creatively, the three of us, and…but I had had all this time set aside.

 

So, some part of me was like, you know, that sleep podcast idea you haven't followed through on, you should follow through on it now. I don't know if I’ve ever been this specific before, but that was about three to four…well, when I started following through on it…so, this was probably six months before I got sober. I’m just guessing, 'cause the episodes of Sleep With Me came out three months before I got sober. Actually, I could probably look it up, 'cause it was during a public transit strike. So, whenever the public transit strike is, that’s when I decided to start making a sleep podcast. But at the same time, I was still writing…trying to rewrite this screenplay. I don't know how many years I did that, right?

 

But at some point, yeah, I started making Sleep With Me, then I was still rewriting this screenplay that we're gonna talk about, but it’s not a screenplay anymore. Now it’s back to the…it’s a story now, 'cause I don't think I have any copies of it. Then at some point along there, my drinking got to the point where it was like, I can't do this anymore and I have to stop. I got help and I managed to stop by getting help. Suddenly…if you spend enough time with people that stop…are addicted to substances, you'll…you may hear this, is like, all of a sudden, you…all the time you were investing in that, you…it’s cool to have something to get into. I happened to be very lucky 'cause this doesn't happen for everybody, but all of a sudden I had all the time that I was spending intoxicated not intoxicated.

 

So, that was like when I wasn’t at work and I wasn’t with my daughter, those would have been…so, that’s a pretty big chunk of time that then I could work on the podcast. So…but also, the screenplay…so, it’s…at the time, and I think for the first…I don't know if it was the first two or three years of Sleep With Me, I was working on those. Like, I would get on the train and write either a episode of Sleep With Me or I’d be rewriting the screenplay. I was trying to divide my time…again, I know I talked about this in the history of Sleep With Me. So, I don't know if it was one year, two years, or three years, but I did have a promise to myself with…the screenplay was more important than Sleep With Me, to be honest, 'cause Sleep With Me was just a idea I was trying out, where I thought this screenplay…I could get it to the point where it could be a writing sample.

 

I don't think that was the correct assumption. I think I would have needed to write two or three more, and actually, Sleep With Me led me to be like, oh, I’m better at this very particular style of writing, anyway. So…okay, so, yeah, I was making…so, I was going to work full time and then trying to make the podcast and trying to write this screenplay. I don't recommend this 'cause I know some people say, oh, Sleep With Me was best in the first two or three years. It definitely wasn’t that way for me, 'cause I would literally…and also, I had no…I was barely…I was living a sustenance…a very low-cost, making-ends-meet lifestyle. I didn’t have a car, but I also…even in the first…2013 or 2018 couldn't even afford a car, and…or 2017. I don't know.

 

But yeah, so it was like…I was taking buses and trains and walking and…but I was making the most of that time, right? Then I was working on this Sleep With Me…pretty much that was the only thing I had going on. I would go to things to make sure I stayed sober, and then I would go home and work on it. So, my life was pretty busy, and that was a good thing because otherwise it would have just been…in the past, I would have just been escaping and kinda shutting down. But I wouldn't say that that was a sustainable thing. The first four years of the podcast was just not…it was just…I don't even know how it’s possible, to be honest, 'cause…yeah. It was just wild. But those of you that have been around since then, it’s pretty cool that somehow we got from there to here.

 

But so, I was working on both things, but then what happened was my life was also…I had a job, I was just getting by, and it was…and I think for most of the time, I was only a three-quarter-time employee. So, I was trying to become a full-time employee, and then at some point I became a full-time employee. I was making up my hours but I was only a three-quarter-time employee. Then I became a full-time employee, then it became apparent that like, hey, if I wanted to make more money, I probably would either have to…oh, 'cause I was a library assistant, right? Then I happened to be…have a opportunity at work where I was doing librarian work. So, my job was reclassed to a librarian even though I didn’t have my Masters in Library Science.

 

But it was apparent; like, if I was gonna keep doing this job for the rest of my life and I wanted to get out of just getting by in the Bay Area and having a bedroom…a two-bedroom apartment instead of a one-bedroom apartment, I would have to go to grad school in order to move up in…you're just pretty limited working in a library. I could stay in my county and maybe keep advancing 'cause my…what do you call it? My work experience was making up for my lack of a Masters. But if I wanted to change library systems or move or anything, I would need my Masters. So, I had these things that came up. It was like, okay, I’m making the sleep podcast and I’m really enjoying it and there’s people benefitting from it, but it’s not sustainable. But I don't have to figure that out yet. Okay, I’m writing…rewriting this screenplay.

 

I wanted to get one rewrite done and get feedback on it, and I had set a date. I don't know…I don't know the date of that or whatever. So, I think I said to myself, okay, once I get this screenplay done, I’ll make a decision on all three of these things, ‘cause there’s probably only room in my life for one of those three things, 'cause I wasn’t going to school at this time. I was just working full time and then working on these other two things. I ended up unfortunately rushing the last draft of the screenplay because there was just some story elements missing and I just wanted to get a draft done, and I got feedback on it, and…not from people I knew or respected, just general feedback. Also, I had been…whatever. I had been reading a lot of screenplays and stuff.

 

But the story was not there and, I don't know, I had got to the point where I was grinding it away instead of improving it. By trying to get that last draft done at a certain level of time and with just too many other things going on, I had done…I had drafted the life out of the story, I guess, or over-storied it or whatever. I had done…it was unfixable at that point. I was too close to it. I also was too emotionally close where it was like, I have to get this thing right so that it can be my writing sample so I can get a job screenwriting or get a job…whatever. Even though I lived in the Bay Area…again, there is a level of positive delusion and I think this is one that’s like…it was good I was deluded a little bit, because you have to be to want to make stuff. But yeah, that’s just where I was. So, I was a little bit too close.

 

I had too much invested in this one story, so it had lost its spark. Now, luckily, the good news is…this was a long time ago. So, I got to the point where I got it and I was like, you know what? I can either…I definitely can't do all three of these things. Can't go to grad school, work on this podcast, and work on this screenplay and go to work. Not going…work’s…wasn’t…I had to still work full time at this point. So, I was like, okay, I guess I…I either gotta stop making the podcast or stop working on the screenplay. I had got to the point where it was like, okay, well, this thing’s a mess, so let me just keep working on the podcast. Then at some point the same thing happened with grad school.

 

I want to say it was around the same time, but I may be conflating things, where it was like, okay, well, I can't…I didn’t see a path to being able to do the podcast as a job yet, and I was like, okay, well…maybe this was when we were working with Posty and Carl at first. So, 2016? I don't know. Maybe 2017. But so, then I was like, okay, well, I don't think I’m gonna go to grad school, though. I think I’m gonna really try to make a go with this podcast, and maybe I’ll go…if it doesn't work, then I can go to grad school. But let me give it one or two more years making the podcast. That was around the time that I slowly found a way to start to cut a path to do working on the podcast full time.

 

So, I had set aside that screenplay, then I set aside grad school, and that led me to where we are now, which is interesting, 'cause it’s always like, man, is this sustainable or not? It’s like…I don't know. But so…but this will lead us back to the ‘buts’ and the…to Bottoms because…not the butts and bottoms. I was saying ‘but’, but the movie Bottoms. So, back to the story that became a screenplay that became a second or third draft that then deteriorated and had to be cast aside…back when I first started the story, which you’ll hear in the next episode…but is like, it was something other people were excited about. So, I knew I had an idea. I had…the idea came from somewhere that was…I don't know.

 

I still knew the story had something, 'cause when I pitched the story to the class and repitched it, people were always like, holy cow, that’s a really…and even as I was trying to polish it or polish…what is…what’s the story, people were like, oh, wait a second…and then people would be like, well, who would be in…who would play the characters? ‘Cause there’s three main character…or there’s one, obviously, one main character and then two other…yeah, there’s the main character. There’s the main character; it’s not…and then there’s a sibling and then there’s a older figure, a mentor-type figure or a friend. So, everybody’s like, who would play those characters? Even at the time, I was kinda like, I don't know. People would say, well, I kinda picture this person.

 

Then I was like, yeah, I don't know, or…and then people didn’t realize…they're like, oh, you could…would you be…is…? I was like…that was another thing, is like, it’s not…it comes from a personal place, right? The pre-story concept does. But then also, like we talk about…again, subconscious…so, I remember pitching the idea, and someone in the class…because it was…it’s a…the setup is somewhat humorous but it does involve a lot of alcohol. Someone in the class said, I don't know if this is such a great idea. It seems like you're making fun of this character’s alcohol use. Is this really a story about addiction? At the time…and I still think…I don't believe it is, but on a deeper surface level, I think it was something being revealed to me, 'cause I was deep in alcohol addiction.

 

It was like…but this person in the class was like, hey, don’t you realize this is…? I was like, no, no, no, this is just kind of a catalyst. I think that’s fine in a story. Every story…this is like a comedy, too, but it’s just interesting that the story that I was trying to make was trying to also tell me, hey, you realize this character is a little bit like you? Yeah, that’s a fictional, simplified version, but this character…caused this character some problems. Can you see how many more problems it’s causing you? But I couldn't do that at the time. But I just think it’s interesting.

 

So, that’s how we get back to Bottoms, is like, I was literally walking down the street thinking about Bottoms, and then I was like, holy cow…and Shiva Baby, because this kinda story idea kinda falls right in-between the two as far as the style and the humor, and it’s a little bit more on the Bottoms side of being, I don't know, fun and goofy, but it also has elements of family and some of the elements you find in dark comedy or whatever. I don't know if that…you know, like more subtle comedy based on family tension and intense stuff, but still being imperfect. There’s a lot of moments in that movie, too, that are very funny and very silly. So, I don't know. So, at some point I was like, holy cow, that is who should be the star of the movie, is Rachel Sennott, and who better to direct the movie than Emma Seligman?

 

So, we’ll get to more of…and then pitching…what other ideas. But it was like, oh, wait a second…and so, I don't know, that just literally popped in my head when I was walking or taking a shower or something. I don't know. I was like, wait a second…so, then I was like, okay, well, I don't have really the time to write up…I was like, oh, wait, maybe this should be your next…maybe I should…trying to figure out, whatever, what to do with Sleep With Me, and what is the long-term sustainability. Well, maybe I should just restart…rewrite that or start writing again. Then I was like, wait a second, or I could pitch it as a episode of Sleep With Me and then see if the idea’s fully formed or not. So, I guess that’ll be the next episode, will be the movie pitch. But this is the what and the why. So, yeah, I hope you're enjoying this. The next one will be much less personal, though it will still have personal elements. So, thanks, and goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)

Personal Essay

 

London Fog Raincoats

https://vintagefashionguild.org/resources/item/label/london-fog/

https://edwinvonholy.com/2024/11/26/the-history-of-the-london-fog-trench-coat-from-functionality-to-fashion/?srsltid=AfmBOopS9KH-h51Hp1tyNKZPsUgOY9mzdRjHZvBCtC2q-F0vXCpaGZqp

https://truthplus.wordpress.com/2011/08/26/influential-images-london-fog-raincoats/

 

Bottoms

https://theamag.com/9152/featured-slider/bottoms-is-at-the-top-of-queer-representation-today/

https://www.torchonline.com/culture/2023/10/17/bottoms-on-top-a-future-cult-classic/

https://themontclarion.org/entertainment/bottoms-is-going-to-save-sapphic-media/

 

Teen Movies

https://www.buffedfilmbuffs.com/post/the-evolution-of-the-teen-movie

https://www.theguardian.com/film/2009/mar/22/teen-movies-history-superbad

https://www.film-east.com/s/stories/the-evolution-of-teen-movies

 

Emma Seligman

https://www.vice.com/en/article/director-emma-seligman-five-films-that-influenced-shiva-baby/

https://macleans.ca/culture/emma-seligman-director/

https://thecreativeindependent.com/people/director-and-screenwriter-emma-seligman-on-carving-out-space-for-yourself/

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

I really don’t know what I’m talking about

The Human Diffuser

What is this, The Diffusioncast?

Using Words Inaccurately

Don’t take that papel picado into the bathroom

I don’t know how many parts this movie pitch will be

Now I know who could help me make this movie

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Anker Soundcore; Acorns; Marley Spoon

 

INTRO

Thoughts – they keep me up

A change of routine

Some sort of twinge of loneliness in the deep, dark night

You’ve already seen pointless meanders and superfluous tangents in action

Let’s look up the meaning of “diffuse”

Spread over a wide area

The diffuser is spreading out the water

Let’s go the Cambridge dictionary for another option

How did I even get to Diffuse originally?

My thoughts are diffuse

sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou

You might be a little grouchy right now, I get it

It’s like cinematic London Fog

Borebie is a made-up word, tbh

Explaining the show structure

Reassured by light variety

My brain has machine learning in it, so I need to keep ahead of it

About a movie pitch that I finished but then forgot

A mild form of fun

If you loathe me, you don’t have to send me All Caps stuff

 

STORY

A little disclaimer

I recorded this a while ago before some personal stuff happened last year

The rainbow bridge into the big farm in the sky is part of this episode

Yet another different style

It’ll be just barely listenable

A movie pitch to a specific writer / director and her collaborators

Answering the 5 W’s

Let’s move from the present to the past

My daughter told me to watch Bottoms

It was cool that she wanted to watch it with me

If it was someone else, I probably wouldn’t have watched

A different frame of reference from my daughter

Plot synopsis of Bottoms

Dance Off Club

Dance Off Club Opportunities for Sweaty Back Moments

A Raunchy Comedy

Emma Seligman, Rachel Sennott, Ayo Edebiri

You can also see Charli XCX’s video with Rachel Sennott

I appreciate the sense of humor

A playful take on reality

I, a fifty year old dude, can relate to these 2 teen girls

A positive But

It’s just inspiring to me

Marination in the Story Swamp

A rare peek through the private family firewall

SWM was part of a process of non-successes and personal changes

An Accidental Bottoms Thing

It’s cool to see 3 talented women starting out and succeeding

I wanted to be a director/writer when I was a kid

I was more interested in fantasy than reality (because of fear)

They are heroines for me and my daughter

My getting loaded (in fantasy) curbed a lot of ambition

When my daughter was born, I was getting through not growing up

Searching for inspiration for my daughter

I needed to walk the walk for my daughter

That imaginary conversation planted a seed within me

Sobriety and creativity are on parallel, kind of related paths

We’ll just see how far we get with this

I decided I would try

Taking a class at a community college

I had pretty good options available to me

Maybe I enrolled in 2 classes? I can’t quite remember

Shoutout to my teacher Joey

We had to come up with a story pitch for the class

Coming up with the outline

Then I took the class again so I could write more scenes

A few people stuck together after the course was done in a kind of writing salon

I became friends with some classmates

But my inability to be sober meant I couldn’t focus solely on writing

Then some story ideas turned into podcast story ideas

That’s where After the Glass Slipper came from

And Game of Drones

Pre-streaming moments

I was too loaded to remember these live shows

Your path is gonna be different than you expect it

It became clearer that I had an issue with alcohol

And I was trying to work through it more and more

Setting aside more time to write

I wanted to film it but I wasn’t a good actor

One of my friends wanted to film something DIY on his own

I was a non-positive anchor

I stopped meeting with them and that’s when SWM became more real

6 months before I got sober

Whenever the public transit strike was, that’s when I started writing the show

I managed to stop drinking by getting help

It’s cool to have something to spend all your new free time on

I had time to write podcasts and the screenplay

SWM wasn’t best in the first 2-3 years for me, that’s for sure

I couldn’t even afford a car back then

I was working as a library assistant

But I was trying to go full-time in work

And my job got reclassified and I didn’t have a master’s degree

My work experience was making up for my lack of degree

And I was enjoying making the podcast

A level of positive delusion

I had too much invested in this one screenplay

I knew I couldn’t do all 3 things (screenplay, grad school, podcast). Oh, and work

The screenplay was a mess, so I let it go

Then I let grad school go

This will lead us back to Buts and Bottoms

I knew the story idea was exciting

People liked even the pitch and fantasized about who would play what role

The story comes from a personal place

The setup involves alcohol 

Was I making fun of the character’s alcohol use?

I think an inner part of me was trying to say something

I think it’s fine because it’s just a catalyst

The story was trying to tell me something

I was truly walking down the street, thinking about Bottoms and Shiva Baby and then it hit me!

Stylistically between the two

Holy Cow, Rachel Sennott is the star!

And Emma Seligman will direct!

This was the What and Why

Next ep will be the movie pitch itself

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1334

Title: Fun-for-all March | Bottoms Edition

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Anker Soundcore; Acorns; Marley Spoon

Notable Language:

• Diffuse
• Papel Picado
• Cinematic Fog
• A mild form of fun
• Dance Off Club
• A playful take on reality
• A positive But
• Buts and Bottoms

 

Notable Culture:

• • The Diffusioncast
  • Cambridge
  • sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
  • London Fog
  • Barbie

• Bottoms

• Shiva Baby

• • Charli XCX

• The Bear

• After the Glass Slipper

• Game of Drones

• Lost

• Scriptnotes podcast

 

Notable Talking Points:

• Thoughts – they keep me up
• A change of routine
• Some sort of twinge of loneliness in the deep, dark night
• You’ve already seen pointless meanders and superfluous tangents in action
• Let’s look up the meaning of “diffuse”
• Spread over a wide area
• The diffuser is spreading out the water
• Let’s go the Cambridge dictionary for another option
• How did I even get to Diffuse originally?
• My thoughts are diffuse
• sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
• You might be a little grouchy right now, I get it
• It’s like cinematic London Fog
• Borebie is a made-up word, tbh
• Explaining the show structure
• Reassured by light variety
• My brain has machine learning in it, so I need to keep ahead of it
• About a movie pitch that I finished but then forgot
• A mild form of fun
• If you loathe me, you don’t have to send me All Caps stuff
• A little disclaimer
• I recorded this a while ago before some personal stuff happened last year
• The rainbow bridge into the big farm in the sky is part of this episode
• Yet another different style
• It’ll be just barely listenable
• A movie pitch to a specific writer / director and her collaborators
• Answering the 5 W’s
• Let’s move from the present to the past
• My daughter told me to watch Bottoms
• It was cool that she wanted to watch it with me
• If it was someone else, I probably wouldn’t have watched
• A different frame of reference from my daughter
• Plot synopsis of Bottoms
• Dance Off Club
• Dance Off Club Opportunities for Sweaty Back Moments
• A Raunchy Comedy
• Emma Seligman, Rachel Sennott, Ayo Edebiri
• You can also see Charli XCX’s video with Rachel Sennott
• I appreciate the sense of humor
• A playful take on reality
• I, a fifty year old dude, can relate to these 2 teen girls
• A positive But
• It’s just inspiring to me
• Marination in the Story Swamp
• A rare peek through the private family firewall
• SWM was part of a process of non-successes and personal changes
• An Accidental Bottoms Thing
• It’s cool to see 3 talented women starting out and succeeding
• I wanted to be a director/writer when I was a kid
• I was more interested in fantasy than reality (because of fear)
• They are heroines for me and my daughter
• My getting loaded (in fantasy) curbed a lot of ambition
• When my daughter was born, I was getting through not growing up
• Searching for inspiration for my daughter
• I needed to walk the walk for my daughter
• That imaginary conversation planted a seed within me
• Sobriety and creativity are on parallel, kind of related paths
• We’ll just see how far we get with this
• I decided I would try
• Taking a class at a community college
• I had pretty good options available to me
• Maybe I enrolled in 2 classes? I can’t quite remember
• Shoutout to my teacher Joey
• We had to come up with a story pitch for the class
• Coming up with the outline
• Then I took the class again so I could write more scenes
• A few people stuck together after the course was done in a kind of writing salon
• I became friends with some classmates
• But my inability to be sober meant I couldn’t focus solely on writing
• Then some story ideas turned into podcast story ideas
• That’s where After the Glass Slipper came from
• And Game of Drones
• Pre-streaming moments
• I was too loaded to remember these live shows
• Your path is gonna be different than you expect it
• It became clearer that I had an issue with alcohol
• And I was trying to work through it more and more
• Setting aside more time to write
• I wanted to film it but I wasn’t a good actor
• One of my friends wanted to film something DIY on his own
• I was a non-positive anchor
• I stopped meeting with them and that’s when SWM became more real
• 6 months before I got sober
• Whenever the public transit strike was, that’s when I started writing the show
• I managed to stop drinking by getting help
• It’s cool to have something to spend all your new free time on
• I had time to write podcasts and the screenplay
• SWM wasn’t best in the first 2-3 years for me, that’s for sure
• I couldn’t even afford a car back then
• I was working as a library assistant
• But I was trying to go full-time in work
• And my job got reclassified and I didn’t have a master’s degree
• My work experience was making up for my lack of degree
• And I was enjoying making the podcast
• A level of positive delusion
• I had too much invested in this one screenplay
• I knew I couldn’t do all 3 things (screenplay, grad school, podcast). Oh, and work
• The screenplay was a mess, so I let it go
• Then I let grad school go
• This will lead us back to Buts and Bottoms
• I knew the story idea was exciting
• People liked even the pitch and fantasized about who would play what role
• The story comes from a personal place
• The setup involves alcohol 
• Was I making fun of the character’s alcohol use?
• I think an inner part of me was trying to say something
• I think it’s fine because it’s just a catalyst
• The story was trying to tell me something
• I was truly walking down the street, thinking about Bottoms and Shiva Baby and then it hit me!
• Stylistically between the two
• Holy Cow, Rachel Sennott is the star!
• And Emma Seligman will direct!
• This was the What and Why
• Next ep will be the movie pitch itself