1332 – A Midseason Night’s Dream | Dreaming of Newhart S6 E22

Episode 1332 – A Midseason Night's Dream | Dreaming of Newhart S6 E22

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who is here to keep you company, take your mind off of stuff, who doesn't have anything witty to say. But I did just practice smiling. I was doing some question-of-the-day videos and I was trying to practice smiling on demand. I’m not particularly skilled at it, so…yeah. So, yeah, it’s…I mean, obviously I can't fake…I can't fake…smiles; they have to be real here. At Sleep With Me, the smiles come…I don't know. Sleep With Me, the only podcaster that would very…pause at the precipice or the…what is that thing called? The threshold of a shop that said, Smiles Come Free. I would say, oh boy, I don't know if I could go in there.

 

I would get a shudder. I would shudder. So, if you shudder at the thought of entering a shop where they say…the merchandise you pay…is priced at a fair price, but the smiles are free. You say, hm, oof, am I required to smile when I go in here? How much smiling…how many people are gonna be smiling at me? If you overthink it like I do, you might be in the right…this may be the podcast for you. The smiles here are free. They're mostly unintentional, but…or smiles at my own…friendly smiles at my own humanity. That’s one thing this podcast has taught me, how to smile at my own humanity, 'cause that’s what happened when they produced me. They said, where’s that stork gone? Hold up. We just got a extra little bit of…we got a extra sprinkle of humanity here. We don’t want it to go to waste. Throw it in that one.

 

Where’s that headed? Okay. Well, it’ll be a interesting journey for that one, but maybe one day he’ll do something very unexpected. It came in handy, I guess. So, anyway, welcome…by the way, this is the very beginning of a sleep podcast. So, I got a little off track there. Welcome to Sleep With Me. It’s a podcast to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff while you fall asleep, which is very different. If you're new, you never checked this show out, I’m really glad you're here and I appreciate you coming by. I’m gonna try to…yeah, keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. I don't know, it’s a sleep podcast that works just differently. So, just give it a few tries and see how it goes if you're new, and see if you acquire the taste.

 

You say, well…that’s what I say when I’m at the door of this imaginary shop where they…everybody’s smiling. Actually, a reasonable person would try to explain to me…they say, there’s nothing in there about required smiles or constant smiling. Alls it says is the smiles are free. It’s also just a sign. I say, are you sure about…? ‘Cause it’s here. So, I mean, that’s not a voice that’s in my head. I guess I can access it eventually. But I would have never thought of that. I mean, only if…'cause I make the podcast. You say, well, it’s just a sign. Yeah, are you sure, though? I think it’s more of a rule because it’s up here and it’s also an…it’s what I should expect when I go in there. Right, a place where smiles are free. Well, if I pay for a smile, I know what I’m getting. Do you really? No, I guess you're right about that, too.

 

I’d say, yeah, do you want to live in a world where you pay for smiles? I mean, indirectly, I already do. But, no, I know what you're saying. But it’s just a sign. I’ll try to…maybe I’ll just not go in the shop. Maybe it’s just easier if I don't go in there, though. But believe it or not, as well-adjusted as whatever you are, sign-reader, sign realist, or what…I’m not trying to talk down to you. I’m just trying to say I gotta open this sleep podcast. So, just give the show a few tries. See how it goes. If you already don’t like me or the show, that’s totally fine. That’s actually pretty normal. Most people don’t like me. Would you believe that, a man who is not sure he wants to go in a shop where the smiles are free? Most people…not everybody likes him. That’s okay, right?

 

So, I have a website set up, though…so many people initially don’t like me. Most people give the show a few tries. But if you're already like, no, I’m 100% sure, sleepwithmepod…this is not a joke, either; sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. It’s a website with other sleep podcasts and stuff on there so you could still find something to help put you to sleep. So, yeah, I’m glad you're here if you're new. Just see how it goes. What we got coming up; a little bit of support so the show’s…paying for the show is optional, then a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, and then later on we’ll do a bedtime story. It’ll be a episode of Dreaming of Newhart. So, I’m really glad you're here. I work really hard. I yearn and I strive. I really hope I can help you fall asleep, and here’s a couple ways we're able to do it for you for free twice a week.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be things, thoughts, things on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thinking thoughts, maybe it’s even…I mean, how many…? Right now I’m having thoughts about my thoughts about signs. I never thought that would be a chapter in my autobiography, but it’s…it could be; Thoughts About My Thoughts About Signs.

 

Shouldn’t it just be Thoughts About Signs? No, no, no, 'cause it’s not my thoughts about signs. It’s the thoughts I have about my thoughts about signs. If they say I don't get it, then you should just move on, because only…the only people that are…wait, you have thoughts about your thoughts? Oh boy, do I, particularly at bedtime. As soon as I lay my head on that pillow and close my eyes and get that blanket up to my chinny-chin-chin and I get cozy, I have…intruding on that coziness is some sort of be…some sort of part of me that says, you know what? I got some thoughts about your thoughts about signs. You shared it on the podcast and I just wanted to talk to you about it. I think this is the perfect time.

 

I don't think there’s ever a good time for you to talk to me about my…I don't think…I think my thoughts about thoughts about signs…I should just be like…they should just be mist in the air. No, no, no, we gotta talk this out. No, I think it’s better off if they just drift…if I focus on my thoughts about thoughts about signs, we could be here for years. So, I just gotta move on, and particularly in this moment, 'cause not only do I have thoughts, then I have feelings, and that also keeps me up at night. I’m not sure if that’s what keeps you up at night, too, but feelings about those thoughts, feelings from earlier in the day, feel…just imagining going into that shop, and I’m imagining some very nice people, but there’s always…within those nice people…they don’t know it because inside, they're…they have this goodness.

 

But they say, oh, there he is, Mr. Frowny Face. He won't smile…oh boy, that sign…he does not like that sign. If I was a regular at this imaginary shop, that person would be there, and they're not even trying to…they're really just nice and they want to coax a smile out of me. But at bedtime, I would have…I have feelings about those kind of things. I don't know if you do…or feelings that are just there or feelings about something coming up. It could be a lot more stuff, right? We all know that. It could be physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, travel, guests, work stuff, maybe you work a different schedule, maybe you have one of those signs. I think they're great. Again, no judgment has been cast on the sign. It’s only my thoughts or feelings about my thoughts about the sign.

 

Then there’s my thoughts about my thinking about thoughts about the sign, or my thinking about my thoughts about the thoughts about the sign. It’s quite the rabbit hole. I don't recommend ever going down it, actually. It’s one rabbit hole…I mean, I don't know how many rabbit holes…pretty much, Alice got…I don't even actually know all the…that’s one of those things I just don’t pay really good attention to, but of all the rabbit holes that I know of…what was the name? Not Ruth. Alice is the only one that got a good one, I think, or a reasonably…I mean, it had cakes and tea and stuff, right? So, it could be…whatever it is that’s keeping you awake. The only reason I go through some of that stuff or kind of look at some of the stuff that keeps me awake at night is so you know you're not alone.

 

I don't even know exactly what I mean when I say that, even though I’ve done this a thousand-plus times, is that I’m only trying to get something loose. You know what I’m saying? What it feels like in the deep, dark night…it is like the night sky, that there’s a bunch of different things up there. So, yeah. But I just know what it’s like for me. Whatever it is in the…having trouble getting to sleep, staying asleep, waking up early, getting the sleep I need, the rigmarole around that when it comes up is that if…wherever you're at with it, I know it’s tough for me, and I think I can relate to some of the feelings you're having or that you have or this situation you're in. I guess it simply is we’d all prefer to be asleep right now, depending on the context. For me, it probably wouldn't be the best time, but for you, it probably is.

 

We all want the sleep we need, and we want it to be a little bit easier, right? It doesn't feel…or at least to me, it doesn't feel fair, and that’s one of the reasons I keep making the show and I keep coming back episode after episode after episode, is I know you're out there and I hope this show can help you, because I know it’s not easy, and I know the fact that even if I can't understand what it is that’s going…what’s happening for you, there is someone in the world listening to this show right now that does understand, and their understanding only comes up as the sense that they're glad you're here and they hope this show can help you out.

 

There’s not any other expectations there except that maybe one day, if the show does help you out, you have that other…for the next new person, you have this welcoming…I don't know, half-smile. You say, yeah, oh, this podcast is weird, man. So, I really hope this helps you like it helps me. So, yeah, that’s why I make the show. Also, you deserve a good night's sleep. You deserve a bedtime without that rigmarole, a bedtime you don’t have to dread, a bedtime you could look forward to or at least feel neutral about. So, I hope I could be a part of that for you or temp…if you're going through something temporary, to provide that for you while you get through this time. So, yeah. The way it works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night.

 

I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents. So, I’m gonna go off topic, I’m gonna get mixed up…already…both have already happened. My voice is not traditionally soothing 'cause I’m not really here to put you to sleep or be listened to. I’m here to be a background, a friend in the background talking that you're kind of listening to. But I’m talking for your benefit, but in a way you don’t have to actively listen to me, right? I’m almost like background noise. So, it’s a podcast you just barely listen to. I’m also not here to put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep, which is a little bit different. It’s like I’m here to take your mind off of stuff, to distract you while you drift off. There’s no pressure to fall asleep with this show.

 

The episodes are over an hour for a reason, so you don’t have to think about…well, what if I’m not asleep by twenty minutes? What if I’m not asleep by forty minutes? There’s hundreds and hundreds of episodes ready to go for you, so you don’t have to worry about it. ‘Cause there…yeah, there’s no expectation to fall asleep. This show’s here to keep you company while you fall asleep, and then you just…at some point you just drop off. Or if you can't sleep at all, you have this reassurance…or if you need a break during the day, that I’m gonna be here to keep you company. I’m here to the very end whether you're awake or asleep. I have to believe that’s one of the things that works about this show. I’m here to keep you company.

 

I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your Borbie, your neigh-bore, your bores, your Boris Borlaf, your boreman, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bruh, your best bore-friend f’eva. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep, to be a rambling companion, that there’s no social compact where you gotta listen to me back or anything like that. Like I said, it does take some getting used to. Of course if you’ve tried other sleep stuff or audio or paid for a bunch of stuff or you're just like, man, I just need some sleep right now, you're probably in a skeptical, doubtful mood, right? Why wouldn't you be?

 

Unfortunately, this podcast does take some getting used to for most people, and that’s just been my experience based on all the feedback that I get, is that most people’s first impression of me is like, eh, something like that, and…or where’s this going? I don't get it. But it’s like putting the clutch in, I guess, which is a pretty dated reference, of like, putting it in neutral or letting go a little bit and just being like, well, let me just see what happens here. He’s always going nowhere. He’s always…this podcast is always never getting started. So, at some point, if you become a regular listener, you realize, oh, okay, he was just there to keep me company the whole time. Now I get it. I’ve been looking for this for…I didn’t know something like this was out there. But that’s only if you're looking for it. But just give it…it’s really harmless.

 

You could see how it goes, and then if it doesn't work…sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. What else do you need to know…? Is the structure of the show. The structure of the show can throw people off just like the tone of the show can, so let me explain to you the structure of the show and then how you can kind of adjust it. The show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in. You say, okay, I could check that show out. Sounds a little bit silly. Then there’s support so paying for the podcast is optional. Most people, believe it or not, prefer the ad-supported, linear version of this podcast. They just prefer something…they pay by listening to the ads instead of paying for it.

 

So…and they listen with a sleep timer or not, like forty-five, sixty minutes. A couple people…it’s thirty minutes. So, there’s support, then there’s a long, meandering intro, and the long, meandering intro, which we're like, fifteen minutes into, is not meant to put you to sleep, either. It’s meant to ease you into bedtime as I try to explain what the podcast is inefficiently, ineffectively, but I follow the same structure every time so it feels kinda familiar. Like, oh, okay, this is reassuring but it’s different every time. I don't know, that’s another thing I think is important, because it shows my respect about the parts of us that keep us awake.

 

I don't want to brag, but it’s just from pure lack of sleep that I’ve…and making this podcast and hearing a lot of people’s stories, that…I say, okay, whatever the part of us…the parts of us — I call them brainbots — that keep us awake, they kinda need to be handled in an indirect, respectful way. They really…they…I’ll just tell you a secret; they really think that they're much smarter than us and much more…they want to run the show, just like that part of me that wanted to talk to me about my thoughts about thoughts about signs. It just wanted to help me out. It didn’t realize…it just doesn't realize. It’s like a ‘splainer, a sign…thought-splainer that wants to explain to me that kind of stuff at bedtime. So, those kind of parts of us, they don’t do well with direct…any kind of direct thing.

 

So, what I do is I go with the assumption…oh, they’re so much more…I mean, obviously when they listen to this podcast, they're like, well, I’m smarter than this guy, and obviously I got my…so, it’s a good thing. The whole…that’s why the intro’s different every time — this is my five-minute version — so that…'cause if it was the same intro or it was a short intro, I believe they would just be like, I’ll just…I gotta get back to these…telling you about these thoughts…it’s just less distracting, I guess. Familiar but variety is what we strive for with this show. You could change it up, right? If you don’t want ads, you could support the show. If you want story-only versions, we have a story-only podcast. But for most people, during the intro, they're getting ready for bed, getting in bed getting comfortable, doing a chill, wind-down activity.

 

A couple people are falling asleep. So, just kinda see how it goes for you. But yeah, the intro’s meant to ease you into bedtime. Then there’s support, and then it’ll be our coverage of Dreaming of Newhart. Yeah, that’s what we do here. I’m really glad you're here. I work really hard. I yearn and I strive. I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by. Myself and a team of people work on this show. We yearn and strive. We really want to help you fall asleep, so…and here’s a couple ways we get to do it for you twice a week. Thanks.

 

Alright everybody, this is Scoots here. Welcome to our…to Dreaming of Newhart. It’s a dreamy TV recap, taking a TV recap…most Sleep With Me TV recaps we’ve ever done, I think, particularly this episode…so, in this show, Dreaming of Newhart, we take TV recaps to a whole…not new level. I don't even know what…a whole level to the side. So, we’ll be recapping the TV show Newhart, the sitcom from the eighties, as well as the Bob Newhart Show from the seventies? I’m not sure on the dates on that. I’m not a historian, right? But we won't be recapping them. Robert Hartley, who was the dreamer of the…of Newhart, the star of the Bob Newhart Show, and the dreamer whose dreams made the sitcom Newhart…we’ll be fictionally, satirically, and in a parody way looking at it as if they were recapping the episode with a person helping them talk about their dreams, along with an AI assistant who doesn't speak, but whose presence is definitely there. So, take it away, Robert and other person.

 

Alright. Hey, Bob, come on in. Oh, I thought…weren't you gonna call me Robert? Oh, come on in, Robert. No, Bob’s fine. I’m just kidding. Okay, you ready to just…? You want to get right into it and tell me about your dream? Sure, but don’t you have…? Yeah, my assistant did…my assistant’s gonna come up with a dream. My assistant prefers to call them simulations of dreams. But yeah, tell me about your dream, Bob. Okay, well, it’s a good thing you're sitting down, because my dream…I know…I was gonna rewatch the movie about this, 'cause in my dream, I’m dreaming. Okay, Bob. Tell me more. Well, so, in the dream I logged…and in the dream…so, I am Robert, Bob…was asleep, dreaming that I was Dick, the innkeeper in Vermont…my recurring dream that we’ve been meeting about.

 

But in the dream, I’m not exactly sure where it is, but I’m pretty sure Dick…then Dick was dreaming as well as…either Dick was dreaming as other characters or I was also the other characters as they were dreaming. Okay, Bob. So, your dream was the dream…your dream was that you're a character in your recurring dream or a person…in your recurring dreams, you're a innkeeper, Dick Loudon, and you're married to Joanne. Michael and…Michael’s one of your friends, the producer of your show, Vermont Today. Stephanie is the keeper…housekeeper of your inn. Joanne’s your dream wife. I know in your real life you also have a real wife.

 

Then you also have Darryl…Larry, Darryl, and Darryl, currently, that are your…run the inn and giftshop and come see you, as well as George, who works at the inn as your caretaker. So, you had a dream you were Dick, but also, Dick was dreaming in the dream, and you're not entirely sure whether Dick was also dreaming as other people in your dream or you were dreaming you were them dreaming as well. Does that sound correct? Yeah. I’ll just say, though, it was strange; I didn’t dream I was…my wife…my dream wife did not have any dreams. Okay, Bob. That’s fine. I don't know if that’s…well, I don't know. Okay, so, tell me about the first thing you remember. Okay, so, the first thing I remember is I was Dick. We’ll just go with that, right? So, I’m at the inn with Joanne, and I’m being snarky as normal.

 

This time it’s that Stephanie is cleaning, like really doing her job, rigorously cleaning the inn. I’m snarkily going back with Joanne about…what does Stephanie want? What is her motivation? Because she rarely does her job. She just says, I want to do my job better. I’m not…I’m very skeptical, right? Then Peter comes in. He’s not using his strange pop-culture language. He’s very serious. He’s not talking in puns or weird rhymes or whatever. Also, in the dream…I don't think this is important, but he had this very eighties jacket on, kinda like a sport coat, but it was gray with designs. Also, they don’t do any PDA, which usually him and Stephanie do a lot of kissing and stuff. I don't know, we probably talked about that. Then he’s very professional. He says, hey, I got a list of guests for Vermont Today that I booked. They're all good guests.

 

I hope you're looking forward to it. I love make…helping you make a professional show. Oh, also, Joanne is stunned at all this, right? She’s like, what is happening here, right? This is just not…it doesn't make any sense. I’m like, wait a second, I really like this. This is the best day of my life. I thought in the dream…I mean, I thought I was Dick Loudon, but also, Dick Loudon in the dream thought this was…didn’t realize what’s coming up. Then Larry, Darryl, and Darryl come. They say they're moving out of town back to their cabin. They said, it’s far enough away; we’ll rarely see you without planning, but we wanted to say goodbye. They wave, and I don't believe it. I tell Joanne I don't believe it. I say, I don't believe it, Joanne. I say, I’m gonna pinch myself. If I do that, Joanne, if this is a dream, will it wake me up?

 

She says, I assume so, right? Then of course I do, and then I wake up. I mean, I didn’t wake up; Bob…I mean, I don't know. I’m so confuse…Dick Loudon woke up. So, I was still sleeping, dreaming I was Dick Loudon, but in the dream, Dick Loudon woke up from his dream. Okay. Then there was a little fuzzy part like dreams are, then it was…then George and I are having breakfast. So, this is why I was confused about who’s having the dream here. But George is having breakfast; pancakes with syrup and stuff, and George is just happy. But I know George is having a dream, but I wasn’t sure if I was a manifestation of George’s sub…I didn’t know what was happening. But in the dream, I’m like, George, what are you dreaming of, eating pancakes? Oh yeah, and then I’m gonna go work on the shingles.

 

But that’s what your regular…we go back and forth. Well, that’s what your regular life’s like. Why would you want to dream about that? He says, this is good coffee. Oh boy, this is nice. I say, is this all you're gonna do in your dream? I’m very dissatisfied with George’s dream. I say, don’t you know in your dreams you could do whatever you want? He says, my real life’s a dream, so…and I keep…I’m like, come on, man, you can do in your dreams what you can't do in real life. I even run through this thing where I have magical control. I go, you could have dream…you have options. You could have lights come on. Then kinda disco lights come on in the inn. The lights dim. You could change and control the weather. So, the weather changes outside. Whatever weather you want, George. You could have a background music.

 

So, then I start playing different styles of background music for George. Sound effects, mist…then we have a misty room. Meanwhile, he’s just eating his pancakes, drinking his coffee. I said, you can make other things sentient, like this teapot. So, then the teapot is very friendly. It says, hey, George, love you, buddy. What’s going on today? I said, maybe I need to show you how to have fun in your dreams. He says, I’m fine, I’me fine, I’m fine, Dick. Please don’t interrupt my dreams. I’m gonna go work on the shingles. He gets up and tries to walk away from me, but I’m following him, right? I say, I don't know, you…I’m not doing this…I just really think you need to…I was doing it from a…I was trying to advocate for him, right? He says, don't worry about it. I’m fine.

 

Then he flies away like he has a superpower to fly, and I’m kinda stunned. I just watch him fly up, indoors, though. So, I don't know exactly…maybe he’s gonna fly out a second-floor window to work on the shingles. But, yeah, that…and then I…then…well, then I don't remember. It was fuzzy again, right? Or, I kinda remember being George in bed? I don't know. Then I was Stephanie, and Stephanie is dreaming that…kind of like…a bit of a fairy tale, but present day. She’s supposed to be cleaning the inn, and she has this sense of foreboding, like bumps…like a goosey-type feeling. Then Joanne comes, and Joanne’s this step-mothery-type figure from animation, and she says, Stephanie, you gotta get cleaning. I want you to scrub everything, top to bottom.

 

Then Michael comes in, and first he’s like, hey, hey, hey, and then she’s like, I have power. So, then Michael runs off. First, Michael’s gonna help me, but then he doesn't. He said, what do you really want? I, meaning Stephanie. She says, I want you to clean all one hundred rooms in the inn. I say, there’s not even a hundred rooms. She goes, oh, I added it with my magical powers. She also…Joanne says to Stephanie, you know, I just like…I envy you, Stephanie, so now I’m gonna have you scrub…then she makes a magical mop bucket go around Stephanie and follow her around. Then she says, you're gonna use a toothbrush to brush everything. Brush, brush, brush…toothbrush this floor right outta my hair.

 

Then Michael shows up dressed as a knight with our two children, who magically…they're like, kids ages that are school-age children, and they're dressed nicely. I’m so happy 'cause I get to skip a lot…he says…Michael says, you got to skip all the…not all the tough parts, but some of them. Then Joanna says, no, no, no, none of this is gonna work. You can join…you can hang with your family, but after you dust the lobby. Then she makes magic dust come down from every…it’s weird. Yeah, the dust kinda comes down, like giant dust, giant dust friends. Then Stephanie wakes up. She says, what? Well, at least it was only a dream. She even says, wait a second, I don't even know…were those my children? I don't know. Then I have a dream I’m Michael in bed, and I go into his dream.

 

Michael is the head of every network, not just one network; every television network, and he has a lot of people that act like him and talk like him, and all the ratings are good. He’s very professional. He wants to work on the schedule. He’s more into reality TV or soft-scripted reality. But the people working for him only want to repeat his ideas. They do say, by the way, some people aren't happy about your soft-scripted reality TV, the subject matter. It is the 1980s. He says, I don't care. He says, figure it out. I want you to make me happy. He uses lingo, so they have to even look up his lingo. Then even more people come in to give him an award. He’s won a lot of awards. He takes it on camera. A great honor. But really, he’s won so many awards, he doesn't even care anymore.

 

I mean, his goal is to stop quality television in the dream. So, I don't know if that’s his dream or my dream, or maybe…but he’s happy in the dream 'cause he’s the top of the…Gilligan Island’s TV movie. Then Stephanie comes in in a massage chair from a nail salon, says hi. I call her a cute quesadilla. Then my team goes on. Then Dick Loudon shows up out of the mist in red spandex. I, Michael, say, what do you want? Then I, Dick, say, we made a deal. We made a deal. I’m the dude in red spandex. I’m the one that gave you your talent. Don’t touch my head, either, or my spandex…red cape and everything. I say, come on, we gotta keep working on your shows. Then Michael wakes up, and he’s not…he’s a little bit like, huh, is that…was that real? Then I’m dream…as I’m falling asleep, I’m Larry.

 

I start to dream as Larry, and Larry’s dream is that Larry is…remember that show, the Tonight Show? We talked about it. Larry is filling in for Johnny Carson on the Tonight Show, and first he’s gonna do his monologue. So, he comes on, and he does have a sportcoat on, but he kinda…I think he looks pretty much like him. He has his hat on. He does my…Johnny…or, I don't know, me or him; he has his hand in one pocket. Says, my sidekick, Darryl, my band leader, Darryl, and Darryl…one of the Darryls has a tie on. Says, man, that outfit is pretty cool. Tommy, he’s a quiet band member. Then I make a joke at Tommy’s…well, Larry makes a joke about Tommy being stoic, then teases the guests. We got three guests. I don't know, they were…must…I don't know.

 

I don't even…Fred Travalena, Emma Samms, and Joan Embery from the San Diego Zoo. Joan Embery was the only one I was like, okay, I know…I kinda heard of that before. So, I don't know, it was very dreamy. I don't know if those other people are real or not. They were in my subconscience. They have a segment. More to come. They come back at the desk drinking coffee. Darryl’s there. Then they do kind of one of the written segments where he says, I’ve been looking in the newspaper. Everybody that reads the newspaper doesn't know everything. I say, man, they're wrong. Then I have a blue card, or Larry has a blue card, and he throws it. Then he goes, oh, wait a second, that’s David Letterman, not Johnny Carson.

 

So, okay, and then he calls in his first guest, which is Joan Embery from the San Diego Zoo, and she comes on. She’s got a birdcage under a thing, but then the birds have disappeared like in a magic trick. I say, Joan, this is great to hang out with you, or Larry does. You know, me, Larry, me. She says, yeah, these are birds. They're gone. They're gone like a magic trick. So, that’s interesting. They had a lot of…they left multicolored feathers behind. I say, Darryl, have you seen the birds? Any Darryls? The Darryls say, yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ll go find them. We’ll take care of them. We’ll feed them bird food. I say, okay, great. Also, the saxophone player…I give him a hard time, the stoic one. I say, I guess Joan…you could go help them. She goes, yeah, I can't believe you did a magic trick with my segment.

 

I’m not sure how to feel about that. I say, that’s okay, Joan. We’ll just move to our next guest, who is Fred Travalena, who is an impressionist. He looks a bit like somebody whose name escapes me, so…and he comes on, and he’s dressed in a suit. You're an amazing impressionist. But I ask him to do this guy, Herbie, who’s…hangs out at the feed store. He goes, well…he goes, I don't know who Herbie is. Well, he’s famous to me. I go, well, I guess you're not a very good impressionist, then, if you can't do Herbie. But then he says, you know who I can do? Darryl. He just does a quick look at Darryl’s face, and that makes me laugh hysterically, 'cause it’s just like him. I say, for a second, I thought you were really Darryl. I couldn't even tell. Then it’s time to move on to the next guest, who’s Emma Samms. Emma is…comes on.

 

She’s in this very sparkling, green gown. She sits down. I say, okay, Emma, it’s good to meet you. We start talking about past times, 'cause I say, well, you got this fancy reputation. You ever hang in a bog or do anything like make…play in the mud? Like, play Name That Stain? Romp…I think I say ‘romping in box’ or ‘romping around’, or maybe she does. I say, you gotta be kidding me, right? These are the exact same things I like to do. She says, yeah, this is what I’m into. I’m looking for somebody that shares similar interests so we can share time together. Yeah, romping in the bog after a rainstorm. I’m stunned, or…as Larry, and I say, man, I think…would you want to do something…would you want to talk about this off-air? She says, yeah, I think we should.

 

We should compare bog-romping stories or maybe do a bog romp or a bog walk or watch the swamp gas rise at night against the pale moonlight. I say, okay, cool. I can't believe it. Then…it’s funny, 'cause then the credits roll for the Tonight Show in the dream of Larry, and Larry, Darryl, and Darryl are credited for doing everything on the show. So, it’s like, the show’s finishing up. All the guests are talking with Darryl, only one of the Darryls. One of the Darryls did choreography. But then I’m in bed with Joanne after my first dream, and I say to her, can you pinch yourself back into a dream? If you were having a good dream, could you pinch yourself back into a dream? Is there any technique that actually works to get back to a dream? I mean, I knew and I know now that that’s pretty tough, you know?

 

That’s the end of my dream, I guess. Alright, Bob, that’s quite a dream there. Wow. Okay, so, do you have…do you mind if I tell you my…? Assistant had a dream based on your dream. Okay, can…or, what do you mean? Well, what you told me about your dream; we titled it Midseasons Night Dream, 'cause that’s what you titled it. Oh, did I? Okay, so here’s the…okay, do you think your assistant’s dream is gonna involve a mystery guest like every time? I don't know, Bob. I haven't…I’m not…I haven't read it yet. I didn’t want to spoil anything. Okay, so, in this dream, my assistant is the…managing a charming, quirky inn, but it has unexpectedly become the venue for a mid-season festival that celebrates classic television. The inn is buzzing with guests who are memorable…it’s like a cosplay one.

 

They're memorable characters from Newhart, and it’s a whimsical celebration. I don't know if I like whimsy in my dreams. Yeah, but this is my assistant’s dream. The dream opens. The first part of the dream is that the lobby of the inn is decorated with banners and memorabilia from classic TV shows. There’s people cosplaying as Larry, Darryl, and Darryl, but they're all doing the play, A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream, as well as it’s cast with other characters from TV shows. Then they're doing rehearsals, right? There’s humorous misunderstandings. Michael, former TV host and…or producer and grocery-store bagger, is directing the play but keeps changing the dialogue from modern television dialogue to Shakespearean dialogue and the way Michael talks in your dream.

 

Then Stephanie is an acting coach trying to get guests that want more help, but she’s doing it in a soap-opera style with…so, anything…that would be, I guess, a humorous misunderstanding. Michael’s directing it one way, then Stephanie’s coaching a whole ‘nother take. Then there’s unusual intermissions. During the intermission of the play, guests go to Shakespeare’s Pizza, which I think came up in…when we were brainstorming things another time. Each slice comes with a quote from Shakespeare or a classic sitcom. Bob…I mean, aren't you sure…? This is Bob here. Aren't you sure…are you sure they didn’t come up with another episode of a podcast or something? It’s very quirky and…yeah. Then performers start showing up at the pizza place performing at classic sitcom characters.

 

Then there’s the play, and it’s…the play ends up being a mish-mash of genre and styles linked to Michael and Stephanie, but they explore themes of dream and reality. The festival culminates in where someone pretending to be Johnny Carson as a mystical benefactor who resolves Michael and Stephanie’s disagreements over the play’s ending…and he puts on…that character puts on a award ceremony for…and gives everybody a award. But then you wake up in the dream, but you're still dreaming, and you…man, I’m amused about this dream. It’s a blending of fiction and reality, old and new, and the deep reflections of the dream. Okay, that’s interesting. What about your assistant in my dreams? Okay, yeah, I had my assistant look a couple things up.

 

So, one thing was how you're having a dream that…in your dream, you're dreaming that everyone was doing and behaving exactly how you wanted them to, and then the dream was so good you pinched yourself to make sure it was real, but it was only a dream, but it was a dream within a dream, so you only woke up in the dream. Okay, that sounds like what I was dreaming about. Okay, so, Freud…my assistant says Freud may say that your control over others may be a desire for order and predictability. The act of pinching yourself could symbolize your need to test the boundaries between desires and reality, and may be a concern about control and influence in your waking life. Jungian may see this dream within a dream as an exploration of deeper layers of your subconscience.

 

Waking up within the dream may be a journey to self-awareness or maybe even acknowledging the constructs of your own psyche. Maybe it’s a meta-awareness like lucid dreaming or a high awareness of the dream state. You have been talking about your dreams a lot. The realization that it’s a dream within a dream highlights the cognitive processing regarding things and the power of the subconscience mind. It could also be a recursive reality, which each layer of the dream is a different level of your subconscience. I guess this is like that movie you were talking about, like each an increasing awareness and control, like a recursive exploration of your desires and fears. I’m not sure I understand that. Well, I’m not sure I understand it, either.

 

It could be a virtual reality simulation where you're testing new environments or behaviors, exploring how control or lack of control affects your responses. Maybe your dream was a philosophical experiment, pondering questions about free will, determinism, nature of reality. Maybe it’s a dimensional awareness, my assistant says, like these are different dimensions of reality that you're navigating, and maybe you have a ability — at least in your dreams — to perceive and manipulate the fabrics of various realities, not just your own. Okay, do you think that’s actually possible? No…I mean, no. Do you think your assistant believes it’s possible? My assistant doesn't have…I don't think my…I don't know if my assistant has beliefs, Bob.

 

My assistant does believe, though, that you could be the director…you're dreaming you're the director of life’s play and you're trying to direct every character in the play according to your script, and you really want to stage every event in your life perfectly. That’s themes of protection and control. What if…let me lay this one on you; if you thought the dimensional-awareness one was out there, what if you're just a pawn in a cosmic game, Bob? Consider the possiblity, my assistant says, that the dream is a cosmic game where higher beings…or it could be…softer is like your higher self…are testing your reactions to having absolute control over a simulated environment? Waking within the dream signifies a level up, challenging your understanding of free will and predestination. Okay, I don't know.

 

Okay, that’s fine. I think it’s about control, though, Bob. Okay, then the next one my assistant looked at was a dream you were George, the handyman of the inn. In the dream you were George, but it could have been you. You're saying you gotta dream more stuff, then you flew away. Okay, Freud…the identity in roleplay may suggest the role of George is a exploration of different facets of your personality, particularly aspects tied to practicality and maintenance. But Bob telling George to dream about more exciting things could be your ambition versus contentment. Flying often represents freedom and escape. Are you trying to get free of some mundane activities or limitations in your daily, day-to-day life? Where Jungian, according to my assistant, would be your persona.

 

That’s George’s satisfaction with routine and your shadow, Bob’s push for excitement highlighting the balance between contentment and desire for more fulfillment. Flight as transcendence…flying could symbolize transcendence or the need to rise above common realities, exploring higher aspirations or spiritual freedom. Or, what about just flying? Or it could be just about flying. Yeah, Bob. Okay, asking my assistant to go further afield. What about mystical dualism? What about it? Bob, you crack me up sometimes. Consider this scenario as a metaphysical exploration where George and Bob represent dual aspects of your psyche engaged in a philosophical debate about nature, reality, and dreams, and what constitutes a fulfilling life or dream. Well, how does that make it mystic…metaphysical dualism?

 

‘Cause it’s in a dream, Bob. Thanks. What if it’s quantum self-simulation? I don't know if I’ve ever tried quantum self-simulation before, doc. You think that’s a good idea? I don't know, Bob. Let’s find out what it is first and see if we can understand it. The old quantum self…auto self-simulation…it does not…auto simulation, Bob? Maybe you should let me stick to the jokes and you stick to the…working with your assistant. Imagine you're a character within the dream, a snarky one. George and Bob are simulations rub…run…doc, that was a Freudian slip. Run by your subconscience in a quantum supercomputer testing various life scenarios and responses to gauge your emotional and psychological resilience. Okay, let me…this…Bob here.

 

So, you're saying in my dream…somehow, my dreams have access to a quantum supercomputer, and my subconscious is running programs on a supercomputer? It’s a possibility, Bob. Let’s get back into the interdimensional awareness. The ability to fly away at the end could be a breakthrough in your interdimensional awareness, where George has discovered an ability to navigate different dimensions or realities. That offers a newfound perspective or liberation. A couple more? What if it’s a dream work…dream world cartography? So, George’s ability to fly is actually a subconscious navigating a vast map of dream worlds. Maybe he’s the one flying through the dreams, even in these ones, but the map is only visible to him in flight. I mean, it’s a theory, I guess.

 

Narrative rescripting…what if you have deeper subconscious activity where you're rewriting your own life narrative? Love to rewrite this part right about now. As George flies away with it, it symbolizes breaking free from the scripted narrative imposed by Bob, Robert, or maybe even…yeah. How come you're saying Bob? I don't know, man. Asserting control over your own story…do you think there’s a possibility your assistant could be doing a narrative rescripting of us within a quantum computer? Sometimes, Bob, I wonder. Yeah, I do. It could also be lucid dream training. Maybe the interaction with Bob and the subsequent flight could be formed as a form of lucid dream training.

 

You're challenging him to more exciting things 'cause you want to stimulate your mind to higher lucidity and test your newfound skills. Okay, that’s interesting. I don't know. Okay, could we talk about your week, though? You want to talk about your week now? Sure. Yeah. Let’s see…so, my notes from my week…so, Jerry got new contacts — that’s how the week started — and was making a big deal about it because Jerry got contacts for the first time. He was having a tough time with them, adjusting. Then I’m in my office, and I have a client, Mr…this is a made-up name…Mr. Herd, and he doesn't knock on the door. He stands outside the door. He just has a thing about knocking on doors. So, he’s also carrying this giant paper bag, and…but I sense him there, so I guess it works. Then I say, is somebody there?

 

He comes in, and then basically we talk about…he’s doing sales, kinda like another…or another…that wasn’t a client, actually. That was Carol’s…but so, he’s having trouble with sales. I guess I haven't learned my lesson. I’m like, what are you selling? He kinda tells me about some of the stuff. None of it’s really a great idea, but he has a vegetable chopper. I say, well, let’s play-act and you could try to sell it to me. He says, normally I just stand outside the door. I’m trying to get him to be assertive, but I think now, looking back on it…well, it did not go well, is my thing. I guess I’m just having trouble with…I don't know, maybe I’m just having one of those…I’m in a growth period, you know? So, I keep saying it, then I’m like, I’ll buy it from you, man, just to try to get him going. I’m like, get out there and do it.

 

Assert yourself if you're gonna sell stuff. So, then I bring it home and I’m trying to use it to chop vegetables. It doesn't work great. It works. My wife comes home. She’s gotten a parking ticket. I say, well, where were you parked? In a loading zone. Or, no, inter…oh no, this one was in her school parking lot. Never mind. That was later. Then I’m kind of on this assertive kick. So, I’m like, well, this is about assertiveness, too. You need to stand up for yourself and tell them, no, this ticket’s not correct. I want you to stand up. I want you to tell them ‘no’, and remove the ticket. Okay, so, Bob, I’m kinda sensing this thing where you had dreams of different characters…controlling them and them behaving perfectly was the beginning of the dream, right? Now these characters in your life…you're trying to control them.

 

You notice that? I thought we were here to talk about my dreams. Well, I’m just connecting your dreams. Okay, anyway, moving…I get it. Thank you. I can see that my life and my dreams are connected. Bob, it’s too bad your attitude in your dreams and your life aren't connected. I apologize for my terseness. That’s fine, Bob. Then Howard comes in, and he says, Emily, you're parked in my parking spot. Then…you know, with Howard, it’s hard to tell when he’s serious or joking, or he just is out there. So, he says he’s gonna have dinner here with us. I say, great. Then he’s saying…Emily’s like, why don’t you just keep your…? Where’d you park? Your parking lot. Okay, then why do we have to discuss it? Well, that’s my parking lot. Back and forth.

 

Then we're talking about…then we're talking again about the…her fighting her ticket. Howard’s encouraging her, too. I’m like, yeah, this is a big deal, Emily. Fight your ticket. But Howard’s also like, yeah, if you park in my spot again, I’m gonna give you a ticket. Yeah. Then I’m back at work, and Jerry has gotten rid of his contacts and gotten rid of glasses. He has glasses on, and he says, what do you think of these glasses? He asks me a few times, and I say, I don't think they look good. Then he puts on sun…green sunglasses to cover his glasses. They're very funky. He says, what kind of vibes do you get from these? Then he puts on octagon sunglasses with glitter on them. I say, what is going on with you, dude? He’s cracking…I mean, he cracks me up. I couldn't tell if he was serious or trying to make me laugh.

 

Then Carol laughs at him. So, I guess he was trying to make me laugh, 'cause I’m in a good mood at that point, and Carol’s laughing hysterically. Then she says, Mr. Herd’s here again. I’m like, wait a second, does he have an appointment? She says, no, but he’s sorry about that. I say, okay, well, send him in. She says, Mr. Herd, you can come in. She has to tell him three times. Then he’s in rough shape. I say, what happened? He has a couple of paper things…like, he needs…where a piece of paper got him. I say, what happened? Did you…a piece of paper get you? He says, yeah, 'cause I was trying to do the paperwork from doing my job better. I say, oh, okay. Well, why? He says, because you told me to assert myself and do my job better.

 

Now I have to…now I have these things, these plasters, they call them in the UK, on my stuff. Then I say, well, whose fault is all this? He says, your fault. I say, well…and he goes, and I’m holding you accountable for the cost of these plasters and Triple A. Kinda like Vaseline, you know, but it’s Triple A? Not Triple A for the car; Triple A…it’s like ointment. I go, you want me to pay for that stuff? I was…that was a professional relationship. I was saying you should do your job. He goes, I expect to be paid…you to pay for that. I’m very dismiss…I disagree strongly with him, respectfully but strongly. I say, no, I’m not paying. He goes, but it’s not that much money. I say, I’m not paying, Mr. Herd. I’m sorry. I assert myself. Then I’m like, who’s giving you advice? He goes, well, I don't have any advice.

 

He comes back and he goes, do you have anybody you’d recommend? I’m like, man, you gotta be kidding me. So, then I get home. I’m not in the best of moods. So, I tell my wife; I say, yeah, I’m not in the best mood, really. Meanwhile, Emily’s very happy because she did contest her ticket and she…she says, yeah, so, I got rid of my ticket. Then I tell her, well, this guy, Mr. Herd, is like…he’s gonna hold me accountable for like, $5.50. She goes, $550? I go, no, $5.50. But I’m not paying him. We go back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. Howard shows up. I say, can you believe this? This guy wants me to pay for his ointment. They say, well, walk me through it. He’s…professional relationship, one. Two, I said, why don’t you do your job more assertively? Three, he does successfully, but he has paperwork.

 

Also, Howard and Emily are going back and forth on the parking lot, and Howard has Emily’s car removed. Also, he wants to eat dinner. So, it’s just like…I was like, Howard, are you serious? So, you're having…Emily doesn't even know if he’s serious or not. Did you have my car taken away? We park next to each other. Then the other thing is…weird is…that we were talking about is like, a hummingbird feeder that we’ve had in our closet for a while. I can't believe this. I’m not in the…I’m not at my best. We're trying to eat dinner. Emily’s like, this isn't the first time you bought stuff from him, too, to be nice. That was the hummingbird feeder. Fourteen different things, she says. So, whatever. We go back and forth, and we go back and forth with Howard about the car stuff.

 

Then I actually go to talk to Jerry seriously about what’s going on with me, and he’s wearing goggles, like goofing around. I sit in his office, and I say, hey, do you ever have something like this happen? This is what happened for me. He goes, yeah, that kind of stuff happens all the time. He goes, it’s called dissatisfaction. I go, well, who…what about who’s right and who’s wrong? Jerry goes, well, sometimes it’s just dissatisfaction. I can't get…the song is different than the experience. I say, well, I got this guy…$5.50…yeah, yeah. I say, don’t…Jerry says, don't worry about it, man. It’s all gonna work out fine. You were trying to help him. I’m like, but that’s not the point. This is about right and wrong. I don't want to be proven wrong when I’m right. Then Carol comes in. We all talk about it. I don't know, I’m just not feeling great.

 

I’m feeling like nobody understands me, and…yeah, nobody’s behaving how I want them to be, I guess. So, Bob, in this situation, you’d almost rather be somebody else, too. So, it makes sense why you’d want to be in somebody else’s dream. I’m not…even if I was in your situation, I wouldn't mind having those dreams and being other people, too. Okay, yeah. But Jerry just says, okay, so, you're…this guy’s doing his paperwork, and he’s kinda pretending he’s helping me, 'cause it’s like, we're gonna have to talk to somebody, me and my client, to resolve this. Jerry says, yeah, we could resolve it. Then I go home again. I’m still thinking about it, 'cause then the next day, we're gonna meet with another professional to work it out. ‘Cause I’m like, man, this is gonna…what if he rates me a two-star review or a one-star review, right?

 

But then Mr. Herd shows up at our apartment and he says, listen, I know I’ve been trying to…I’m apologizing. I tried to…I was trying to assert myself with you after you told me to assert myself. I hate to disappoint you, but I don't want to…I just want this resolved, and I realize it kinda was my fault with the paper, so…but I didn’t want to disappoint you. He almost took my advice too far, right? He goes, so, I don't want to have to go…I think we could just resolve this right now. I don't need the five bucks, right? ‘Cause I was…and he says, I’m gonna get out there. I’m gonna get…keep selling. I’m gonna keep doing my job, paperwork or not. Then I say, okay, where are you gonna start? My wife says, why don’t you start at Howard’s place next door? But then it’s a apartment, right? We live in condos, apartments.

 

So, he’s gonna stand outside the door. I say, not…an apartment, no one’s gonna know you're out there unless you knock. But Mr. Herd’s like, no, I just wait five minutes. If they don’t open the door, they don’t open the door. Then the only thing was I gave Carol the hummingbird feeder that we had bought from Mr. Herd. She was happy about that. Then Emily calls me at work. Her car…she got another ticket. This time she was…it was her fault. Then Jerry shows up. He’s like, can you give me a ride to the optometrist? You want to come with me to help me pick out glasses?

 

I say, nah. He goes, well, I need a ride. It’ll be fun, man. You could help me pick out glasses. You obviously helped me by saying my first set of glasses didn’t look good. So, we go…then we went to the optometrist, and we had fun. Yeah, I guess that’s about my week. Alright, Bob, well, that sounds good. I’m glad we talked, and I hope you get…I’m looking forward to your dreams and hearing about your dreams soon. Goodnight, huh? Yeah, I’m kinda tired. You mind if I lie here and rest? Not at all, Bob. Let’s both rest together. Goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)

Dreaming of Newhart

 

History of Signs

https://www.esigns.com/history-of-signages.html?srsltid=AfmBOorHIC6-5oSqnmhp3bSfyBWtk6i4WGjTb3c0H78UQzJSUBo-rXlH

https://signwritestudios.com/a-brief-history-of-signs/

https://signaramafranchise.com/blog/the-evolution-of-signage/

 

Early Reality TV

https://www.redbookmag.com/life/charity/g61456737/oldest-reality-tv-shows/

https://www.documentary.org/feature/first-family-reality-tv-between-covers-louds

https://screenrant.com/earliest-reality-tv-shows-chronological-order/

 

A Midsummer Night’s Dream / adaptations

https://www.theguardian.com/culture/2016/apr/22/shakespeare-weirdest-productions-film-beatles-bollywood-klingon-hip-hop

https://film-cred.com/we-need-better-adaptations-of-a-midsummer-nights-dream/

https://www.moviemaker.com/strange-shakespeare-adaptations-coriolanus-west-side-story-lion-king/

 

Door to Door Salesman

https://www.thequota.co/articles/a-brief-history-of-door-to-door-sales

https://www.murrayledger.com/news/state/remembering-door-to-door-salesmen/article_eb8228be-813a-11e8-b69c-2b1b51dbe7bd.html

https://www.pbs.org/wgbh/americanexperience/features/tupperware-direct/

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

Smiling on Demand

Pausing at the threshold of a store called Smiles Come Free

Friendly smiles at my own humanity

sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Anker Soundcore; Acorns

 

INTRO

Thoughts about my thoughts about signs

That’s a chapter in my autobiography

There’s always nice people behind the signs, of course

I react strongly to attempts to coax a smile out of me

I don’t recommend going down this rabbit hole

Alice is one of the few people to go down a good rabbit hole

I hope the show can help you

I know it’s not easy

Almost Background Noise

Your Boris Boreloff

There’s no social compact to listen back to me

Always never getting started

Explaining the show structure

Handling brainbots in an indirect, respectful way

Brainbots think they’re smarter than us

They want to run the show

The Thought-Splainer

Obviously Brainbots think they’re smarter than me

Familiar, but variety

 

STORY

The most SWM TV recap to ever exist

Recapping Newhart and The Bob Newhart Show

Recapping via a dream analysis session and a silent AI partner

Robert vs Bob

Simulations of Dreams

Tell me about your dream, Bob

In my dream, I’m dreaming

Robert Bob was dreaming as Dick

And Dick was dreaming in his dream

A dream of dreams within a dream

At the inn with Joanne, being snarky as normal

Stephanie is rigorously cleaning the inn

Why is Stephanie actually doing her job?

Peter enters and is speaking totally normally

He had a very 80s jacket on it

And Peter/Stephanie don’t do any PDA, which is strange

Peter is strictly here for business

Joanne is also stunned

This is the best day of my life

Larry, Daryl, and Daryl are moving out of town

This day keeps getting better

I dare to pinch myself

Dick Loudon wakes up from his dream (I’m still dreaming as Bob)

Then George and I are having breakfast

George is happy, but I might be in George’s dream?

George’s real life is a dream, which makes me unhappy

The set shows the true potential of a dream

I was trying to advocate for him

But George then FLIES AWAY!!

Then I’m in Stephanie’s dream

It’s a present day fairytale

A bumpy, goosey type feeling

Joanne appears as an animated wicked stepmother

Stephanie has to clean all 100 rooms of the inn

A magical mop bucket follows Stephanie

Stephanie has to clean with a toothbrush

Michael shows up as a knight

Cleaning magic dust

Giant Dust Friends

Then Stephanie wakes up

Then I’m seeing Michael’s dream

Michael is the head of every network

Everyone acts like Michael at this successful network

Everyone is a Yes Man

Softly scripted reality TV

He wins another award

He’s happy in his dream

Then Dick Loudon shows up as a misty friend in red spandex

A real Faust situation

Then I dream as Larry

Larry is filling in for Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show

The Daryls are sidekick and bandleader

Introducing real life guests, like Joan Embery from the San Diego Zoo

And this talk show just keeps going

Then they do a Letterman bit by accident

Joan Embery disappears some birds like in a magic trick

Fred Travelina, an impressionist

I ask him to do an impression of Herbie who hangs out at the feed store

He does a Daryl impression

Emma Samms comes on

I ask if Emma Samms ever plays Name That Stain?

Miraculously she’s into the same things as me

Romping In The Bog After A Rainstorm

Emma Samms is into Larry!

Then the actual credits roll on the dreamy Tonight Show

Then I’m in bed with Joanne

I try to pinch myself back into a dream

And I guess that’s the end of my dream

Time for the AI Assistant’s Simulated Dream

A Mid-Season Night’s Dream

The Inn is celebrating a festival that celebrates midseason TV

Banners and Memorabilia of classic TV’s show

People are also performing A Midsummer Night’s Dream

Michael is directing the play

Stephanie is trying to be an acting coach

Stephanie is coaching contrary to Michael’s direction

Then they go to Shakespeare’s Pizza, which was on another episode of that one sleep podcast

Johnny Carson appears as a mystical benefactor

Time for the dream analysis

Dreams within dreams

Freud: a desire for control

Testing the boundaries of control

Jung: exploring deeper layers of your subconscious on your way to further enlightenment

A recursive exploration of desires and fears

A virtual reality simulation

Or it’s a philosophical experiment of free will

Navigating different dimensions of reality

Does the AI assistant have a belief system?

Regardless, you seek control, Bob

What if you’re just a pawn in a cosmic game, Bob?

Higher Beings could be testing your limits, Bob

Challenging notions of free will

Analyzing your dream as George

Identity Role Play

Freud: exploring different facets of your personality

Ambition vs contentment

Are you trying to get free of something?

Jung – exploring the shadow self

Flight could be transcendence

Or it could just be about flying

What about Mystical Dualism

What constitutes a fulfilling life or dream?

Quantum Self-Simulation

Auto-Self-Simulation

Let’s not joke around, ok?

Testing life scenarios in a quantum super computer

Somehow my dreams have access to a quantum super computer?

Breakthroughs in interdimensional awareness

Dreamworld Cartography

Narrative Rescripting – rewriting your own life narrative

Maybe the AI is rewriting our own narrative right now

Sometimes I wonder…

Let’s talk about your week now, Bob

Jerry got new contacts and is making a big deal about it

I have a new client who doesn’t like knocking

But I sensed him so I guess it works

He’s in sales

Let’s play act him selling a vegetable chopper

It’s tough that this door to door salesman won’t knock on doors

I offer to buy one to encourage him to assert himself

The vegetable chopper doesn’t work great

My wife got a parking ticket

My wife should stand up to this ticket

I’m on an assertiveness kick

I can see that my life and my dreams are connected

Then Howard comes in

Howard says Emily parked in his spot

It’s hard to tell when Howard is joking or not

Jerry is back to wearing glasses

I don’t think they look good

He covers his glasses with green glasses

Octagon, Glittery Sunglasses

Now we’re all in a good mood

Mr. Heard is back to say he’s sorry

He’s in rough shape

He has a few places where paper got him

He had to put all these UK plasters on

He says it’s my fault

I won’t pay for Mr. Heard

I get home and I’m not in a good mood

Emily is happy because she successfully contested her ticket

I won’t pay for Mr. Heard’s ointment

Howard and Emily are still going back and forth about parking

Then I have to go back and check in with Jerry about Mr. Heard

It’s called Dissatisfaction

Sometimes it’s just dissatisfaction

It makes sense why I’d dream of being someone else in this context

Resolving with my client

Mr. Heard shows up and apologizes

He was trying to assert himself with me so as to not disappoint me

Emily tells him to start selling next door with Howard

Emily gets another ticket – this time it was her fault

Jerry needs a ride to the optometrist

I have to advise him on eyeglass selection

That was good

See you next time

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1332

Title: A Midseason Night's Dream | Dreaming of Newhart S6E22

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Anker Soundcore; Acorns

Notable Language:

• Smiles Come Free
• Thoughts about my thoughts about signs
• Your Boris Boreloff
• The Thought-Splainer
• A bumpy, goosey type feeling
• Giant Dust Friends
• Cute Quesadilla
• Romping In The Bog After A Rainstorm
• Quantum Self-Simulation
• Auto-Self-Simulation
• Breakthroughs in interdimensional awareness
• Dreamworld Cartography
• Octagon, Glittery Sunglasses
• Dissatisfaction

 

Notable Culture:

• • Smiles Come Free, a store

• Alice In Wonderland

• • Boris Karloff
  • Newhart 

• The Bob Newhart Show

• • “I’m gonna wash that man right outta my hair”

• Gilligan’s Island

• • Faust
  • Johnny Carson

• The Tonight Show

• • San Diego Zoo
  • David Letterman
  • Joan Embery
  • Fred Travelina
  • Emma Samms

• A Midsummer Night’s Dream

• Freud
• Jung
• “Satisfaction” – Rolling Stones

 

Notable Talking Points:

• Thoughts about my thoughts about signs
• That’s a chapter in my autobiography
• There’s always nice people behind the signs, of course
• I react strongly to attempts to coax a smile out of me
• I don’t recommend going down this rabbit hole
• Alice is one of the few people to go down a good rabbit hole
• I hope the show can help you
• I know it’s not easy
• Almost Background Noise
• Your Boris Boreloff
• There’s no social compact to listen back to me
• Always never getting started
• Explaining the show structure
• Handling brainbots in an indirect, respectful way
• Brainbots think they’re smarter than us
• They want to run the show
• The Thought-Splainer
• Obviously Brainbots think they’re smarter than me
• Familiar, but variety
• The most SWM TV recap to ever exist
• Recapping Newhart and The Bob Newhart Show
• Recapping via a dream analysis session and a silent AI partner
• Robert vs Bob
• Simulations of Dreams
• Tell me about your dream, Bob
• In my dream, I’m dreaming
• Robert Bob was dreaming as Dick
• And Dick was dreaming in his dream
• A dream of dreams within a dream
• At the inn with Joanne, being snarky as normal
• Stephanie is rigorously cleaning the inn
• Why is Stephanie actually doing her job?
• Peter enters and is speaking totally normally
• He had a very 80s jacket on it
• And Peter/Stephanie don’t do any PDA, which is strange
• Peter is strictly here for business
• Joanne is also stunned
• This is the best day of my life
• Larry, Daryl, and Daryl are moving out of town
• This day keeps getting better
• I dare to pinch myself
• Dick Loudon wakes up from his dream (I’m still dreaming as Bob)
• Then George and I are having breakfast
• George is happy, but I might be in George’s dream?
• George’s real life is a dream, which makes me unhappy
• The set shows the true potential of a dream
• I was trying to advocate for him
• But George then FLIES AWAY!!
• Then I’m in Stephanie’s dream
• It’s a present day fairytale
• A bumpy, goosey type feeling
• Joanne appears as an animated wicked stepmother
• Stephanie has to clean all 100 rooms of the inn
• A magical mop bucket follows Stephanie
• Stephanie has to clean with a toothbrush
• Michael shows up as a knight
• Cleaning magic dust
• Giant Dust Friends
• Then Stephanie wakes up
• Then I’m seeing Michael’s dream
• Michael is the head of every network
• Everyone acts like Michael at this successful network
• Everyone is a Yes Man
• Softly scripted reality TV
• He wins another award
• He’s happy in his dream
• Then Dick Loudon shows up as a misty friend in red spandex
• A real Faust situation
• Then I dream as Larry
• Larry is filling in for Johnny Carson on The Tonight Show
• The Daryls are sidekick and bandleader
• Introducing real life guests, like Joan Embery from the San Diego Zoo
• And this talk show just keeps going
• Then they do a Letterman bit by accident
• Joan Embery disappears some birds like in a magic trick
• Fred Travelina, an impressionist
• I ask him to do an impression of Herbie who hangs out at the feed store
• He does a Daryl impression
• Emma Samms comes on
• I ask if Emma Samms ever plays Name That Stain?
• Miraculously she’s into the same things as me
• Romping In The Bog After A Rainstorm
• Emma Samms is into Larry!
• Then the actual credits roll on the dreamy Tonight Show
• Then I’m in bed with Joanne
• I try to pinch myself back into a dream
• And I guess that’s the end of my dream
• Time for the AI Assistant’s Simulated Dream
• A Mid-Season Night’s Dream
• The Inn is celebrating a festival that celebrates midseason TV
• Banners and Memorabilia of classic TV’s show
• People are also performing A Midsummer Night’s Dream
• Michael is directing the play
• Stephanie is trying to be an acting coach
• Stephanie is coaching contrary to Michael’s direction
• Then they go to Shakespeare’s Pizza, which was on another episode of that one sleep podcast
• Johnny Carson appears as a mystical benefactor
• Time for the dream analysis
• Dreams within dreams
• Freud: a desire for control
• Testing the boundaries of control
• Jung: exploring deeper layers of your subconscious on your way to further enlightenment
• A recursive exploration of desires and fears
• A virtual reality simulation
• Or it’s a philosophical experiment of free will
• Navigating different dimensions of reality
• Does the AI assistant have a belief system?
• Regardless, you seek control, Bob
• What if you’re just a pawn in a cosmic game, Bob?
• Higher Beings could be testing your limits, Bob
• Challenging notions of free will
• Analyzing your dream as George
• Identity Role Play
• Freud: exploring different facets of your personality
• Ambition vs contentment
• Are you trying to get free of something?
• Jung – exploring the shadow self
• Flight could be transcendence
• Or it could just be about flying
• What about Mystical Dualism
• What constitutes a fulfilling life or dream?
• Quantum Self-Simulation
• Auto-Self-Simulation
• Let’s not joke around, ok?
• Testing life scenarios in a quantum super computer
• Somehow my dreams have access to a quantum super computer?
• Breakthroughs in interdimensional awareness
• Dreamworld Cartography
• Narrative Rescripting – rewriting your own life narrative
• Maybe the AI is rewriting our own narrative right now
• Sometimes I wonder…
• Let’s talk about your week now, Bob
• Jerry got new contacts and is making a big deal about it
• I have a new client who doesn’t like knocking
• But I sensed him so I guess it works
• He’s in sales
• Let’s play act him selling a vegetable chopper
• It’s tough that this door to door salesman won’t knock on doors
• I offer to buy one to encourage him to assert himself
• The vegetable chopper doesn’t work great
• My wife got a parking ticket
• My wife should stand up to this ticket
• I’m on an assertiveness kick
• I can see that my life and my dreams are connected
• Then Howard comes in
• Howard says Emily parked in his spot
• It’s hard to tell when Howard is joking or not
• Jerry is back to wearing glasses
• I don’t think they look good
• He covers his glasses with green glasses
• Octagon, Glittery Sunglasses
• Now we’re all in a good mood
• Mr. Heard  is back to say he’s sorry
• He’s in rough shape
• He has a few places where paper got him
• He had to put all these UK plasters on
• He says it’s my fault
• I won’t pay for Mr. Heard
• I get home and I’m not in a good mood
• Emily is happy because she successfully contested her ticket
• I won’t pay for Mr. Heard’s ointment
• Howard and Emily are still going back and forth about parking
• Then I have to go back and check in with Jerry about Mr. Heard
• It’s called Dissatisfaction
• Sometimes it’s just dissatisfaction
• It makes sense why I’d dream of being someone else in this context
• Resolving with my client
• Mr. Heard shows up and apologizes
• He was trying to assert himself with me so as to not disappoint me
• Emily tells him to start selling next door with Howard
• Emily gets another ticket – this time it was her fault
• Jerry needs a ride to the optometrist
• I have to advise him on eyeglass selection
• That was good
• See you next time