1315 – Warm Back from Busy Season | Dreaming of Newhart S1E14

Episode 1315 – Warm Back from Busy Season | Dreaming of Newhart Season 1 Episode 14

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who’s to…I guess when this episode’s coming out, it’ll be a long winter’s night. This may or may not be the first episode of 2025, a little…this is Scoots in 2024, and I’m take…I just want to take this quick opportunity to pander to 2025. Hey, this is October Scoots 2024 just saying, 2025, hey, do you need anything? Could I bring you something cold or warm? Could I prepare anything?

 

Could I tuck you in, 2025? Just doing some light pandering. I’m being honest about it. I’m here to pander, that way, ahead of…then when we get together, you’ll be…maybe you’ll think of me positively, huh? So, anyway…oh, by the way, welcome to Sleep…this is not…this is a podcast that panders, and I guess I try to pander to you. ‘Pander’ is such a…I don't know, it’s a nice word. I probably talked about it before, pander. It’s kinda like…kinda…I mean, vaguely like ‘diaper’, but other than…even that, I picture it as a diaper, still, like those…you know, those diapers, they come tightly wrapped.

 

They’re not rapt, but…I don't know why I was thinking of that. It’s been a while since I changed a diaper. But man, those diapers, when you take them out of the package…they really do package them in an efficient way. That was a accidental pun, pander, to diaper packers or the machines…the people that run the machines that pack the diapers into packages, or the person that came up with the idea…anyway, this is…believe it or not, this is a sleep podcast. I was gonna say I’m here to pander to you, and kind…but I mean a positive version of it, because I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep, not so much to put you to sleep.

 

I’m here to be your friend and just talk and give you something to barely listen to so you could drift off versus trying to put you to sleep directly. Also, I guess I could talk about it later 'cause I’m already going on and on and on at the very beginning of the podcast, but to pander to those other parts of you that keep some of us awake, that I’ll talk about later in the intro. But I’m really glad you’re here. This show is very different, so just give it a few tries. See how it goes. You got nothing to lose. If you find out you don’t like this podcast, I have a website set up just for you, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, which has other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there that you could check out.

 

So, I’m really glad you’re here. Structurally what we got coming up; support…most people prefer this ad-supported version that’s free, then a long, meandering intro which is separate from the support meant to ease you into bedtime, and then…yeah, so, the intro will go on like, twenty minutes, then after that will be support, then it’ll be our Dreaming of Newhart series. So, all told, I’ll be here about an hour. But I’m really glad you’re here. I work really hard. I yearn and I strive, and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. The people that support the show directly on Sleep With Me+ or other platforms or who support these sponsors are how we’re able to be here. Or you could spread the word for free. I appreciate all of you. Thanks.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. Could be thoughts on your mind that you’re thinking about, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thinking thoughts, I mean thoughts about…I mean, when you have a vocabulary like mine, which is expansive but not the kind of…not…I’m not saying that in a braggadocious way.

 

I didn’t even just use that word as…I say, it’s expansive, but…a thin…but not…it doesn't have a lot of depth to it. So, that’s why I say, well, pandering isn't always negative. I mean, or subtly negative. ‘Cause you say, well, they’re just pandering to you. I say, well, great. I want more pandering in my life. They say, but that…but they don’t really…they’re just pandering. Yeah, believe it or not, I love pandering. But I mean, in this sense…I guess I should get to more of the point, huh, and then I’ll talk about the pandering? But I was just kinda saying…huh…'cause I don't have my phone to look up the word. So…okay, what was I saying? Thoughts, so, it could be thoughts…it could be thoughts about this guy talking to you, right?

 

It could be feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally related to those thoughts, feelings that are left over from the day, feelings about something coming up, it could be physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine…talk about pandering; maybe you work a different shift. Oh boy, do I love those…I mean, it’s not pandering 'cause it’s…well, there…is pandering not…? Is pandering…apparently, pandering is inherently non-truthful? I don't know, that just popped in my head. But I love those shifts, 'cause I know it’s hard to sleep when you’re on one…a different shift, or your shifts change. Could be the changing of the seasons, time, temperature, routine, travel, guests, you could be going through something, getting over something, whatever it is.

 

The only reason I run through that stuff is so you know you’re not alone in the deep, dark night, that there’s someone else out there listening right now somewhere in the world — this is the truth for Sleep With Me — that can relate to how you feel. Maybe it’s not me, but I think I can usually relate to some of the feelings, 'cause I’ve been through a lot of different sleepless situations. But there’s someone else listening right now that’s been through something very similar to whatever’s keeping you awake, and they’re nodding their head right now, and maybe they’re comfortable in their pillows and stuff like that, but they’re still saying, yeah, I’m really glad you’re here. I hope this podcast can help you like it’s helped me. It’s a very different show, but I hope it helps you out.

 

I never knew I was looking for something like this. So, I hope this podcast can provide that for you, a sense of…a shared sense of nonsense, I guess, in the deep, dark night. They say, hey, I just want a friendly distraction. The other thing that’s important is that you deserve a good night's sleep. You deserve the sleep you need so your day tomorrow is more manageable, so your week, your month, your year…you’re getting the sleep you need most of the time on a regular basis, so you could be out there…maybe out there…once you’re doing that, flourishing. That means the world we are in is a better place when you’re rested and living your life. We need you out there.

 

But you aso deserve a bedtime that doesn't have to be…that you don’t have to dread, that doesn't have rigmarole, where you could look forward to bedtime or at least feel neutral about it. Like, at least I got that dull guy that rambles about nothing to put me to sleep. So, what I’ll do here is I’ll send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. So, I’m gonna go off topic, I’m gonna get mixed up, forget what I was talking about, then I’ll have words pop in my head, and I’ll say, what was that word I was talking about, Poupon? Like Grey…oh, like Grey Poupon? I think that’s just a brand. I don't know if that’s a word. Well, thinking about it, it was the worst word that I could have came up with.

 

That’s…if you go to somewhere…I mean, this is…I never would have thought of this. I’m sure maybe somebody…comedy did this. If you went to a world where…anywhere on the planet…I’m sure you could find the correct translation that would fit this. It wouldn't be word-to-word, right? But let’s say…let’s just say I could do that thing from that movie where I flash…and you say, I remove all references of Grey Poupon from your brain, right? I say, okay, I want to tell you about this new product, like I’m bringing you in for…what are those thing where you come and sit in the room? Feedback loop or whatever it’s called. I say, okay. We’re gonna pitch you some names for some new products and then we’re gonna talk to you about them. Are you ready? I’m ready.

 

Okay, well, the only product we’re talking about today…we’re gonna tell you the name of it and then we’re gonna pause like it’s a sleep podcast, and then we’re gonna tell you the category, and then we’ll base…this is one of those ones where we just base it on your facial and physical reactions, so you don’t even have to give us feedback. I say, okay, are you ready? I’m ready. Okay, the name of the product is Grey Poupon. Can you repeat the name of the product? Grey Poupon. Okay, great. It is a food product. Then, the person that actually was like, we got great feedback, they don’t work there anymore. I could tell you that much. I mean, they’ve proved me wrong, actually, and I get it; it’s supposed…it either is…is that really the thing? Is it really…? Maybe I’ve got it wrong.

 

People are laughing, maybe, 'cause it’s like, no, that’s not the name of the product. I mean, then the person would say, so, you’re already decided based on my physical reaction? Oh, yeah. Well, what kinda of product is it? Mustard, Dijon mustard. Okay, in that case…you say, Poupon, right? Not Poupon. Right. Grey Poupon…but it’s not gray, right? Oh no, it’s in a fancy…it’s in a glass jar. Okay, I guess…I don't know, maybe…what about Grey’s Poupon? No, 'cause then we were thinking that’s too associative. Here’s a question; I thought I was listening to a sleep podcast intro where he was just trying to explain…well, yeah, he was trying to explain pandering, and then he went off topic again. Oh. Could you tell me more?

 

Well, yeah, it’s a podcast that you just barely listen to, so maybe he was just giving an example of that by accident. But so, it’s almost like TV on in the other room or sand slowly slipping through your hands or a out-of-focus picture. You just kinda barely listen. You can listen to it, but you don’t have to listen to it. It’s different, kinda like listening to our conversation now, and…where you’re just like, uh-huh, okay. Uh-huh, okay, I could see that, but I don't know if it makes any sense, but it kinda makes sense. Right, kinda like naming a food product…anyway, this is all parody and…whatever. I don't need to hear from anybody. Love that product. This is all…I mean, I do. I think I have a generic version, to be honest, in my fridge. But, whatever, it’s a premium brand.

 

Wait a second, you said that product you just named is gonna be a premium food brand. Oh, yeah. I mean, in that category, other than bespoke mustards, it’ll be the best. Okay, I could see…I can't see that, but I’m just here…I thought I was listening to a sleep podcast, anyway. Yeah, so, it’s a podcast you don’t really listen to. Also, strangely enough, it’s a podcast that you don’t even…most people, even the people that really like it…most people don’t like it on the first try. You gotta be kidding me. Really. Yeah, it takes two or three tries to get used to the show, 'cause most people arrive skeptical or doubtful. They’re like, yeah, I’m not so sure about this, but…wait, he’s gonna just talk about mustard and pandering? No, that’s just the beginning of the show. That’s before…that’s when he’s barely getting going.

 

Okay, then that’s gonna put me to…? I thought it was a sleep podcast, like he was…he’s not gonna count down or read something? Well, not…I mean, he may, but…no, it’s…it does take some getting…it’s not like anything you’ve ever heard before. Okay, so, it’s not like…are there any…is there any countdowns or raindrops? No. Okay, so…that sounds different, and most people don’t like it the first few times they listen to it. Well, not…well, some people loathe it when they first listen, but most people are just like, what am I listening to? But then on the second or third try, they go, oh, now I get it. He’s serious about being silly and meandering and that his show’s always never getting started.

 

When he said ‘my other bog’s a toboggan’, that he was gonna make that a bumper sticker, it made perfect sense to him even though it doesn't make any sense at all. So, yeah. Okay, I could…well, what should I do, though…? So, give it a few tries. See how it goes. If you decide after the second or third try you don’t like the podcast at all, check out sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. But yeah, know that the podcast doesn't work for everybody, but there is a huge number of people that it didn’t work for at first until they kinda let go, and some people even took years. They listened to it and then they come back two or three years later. But it’s usually one of those things like, oh, okay, I have…I do kinda like this, kinda like the flavor of the mustard we’re talking about. Now you’re really reaching, I think. Okay.

 

So, a pod…okay, so, tell me more about this…give me some more good news. Okay, so, it’s a podcast you barely listen to, most people don’t like it, even the superfans didn’t like it at first…also, it’s a sleep podcast that’s been around for like, eleven years. It doesn't put you to sleep. It’s here to keep you company while you fall asleep instead of putting you to sleep. It’s here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your neigh-bore, your bore-bestie, your bore-bor, your Borbie, your…oh, he thought of a new one; your…Boris Borlaf. He’s here to be your best bore-friend f’eva. He’s here to keep you company while you fall asleep. There’s no pressure to fall asleep with this show.

 

The episodes are over an hour because there’s people who are listening who need a break during the day or who can't sleep at all, so he…I’m here to the very end whether you’re awake or asleep, to keep you company whether you’re listening or not, and that’s kinda one of the things that kinda works about the show. Okay, anything else I should know? Yeah, did you know we’re both running, whatever, a focus group within the imagination of a sleep podcaster? Wait, I don't know what’s worse, the name of that product or the fact that we’re both running a focus group. It took him twenty minutes to realize he didn’t remember the word ‘focus group’. Yeah, we’re all in it together, I guess. Okay, so, tell me more about…I may have to…if I’m within his imagination, I might have to start listening.

 

Well, remember, it’ll take two or three tries even though you’re a resident of his imagination. Okay…oh, the structure of the show also throws people off, and the show’s very malleable or adjustable, but it’s built in a certain way to benefit the most amount of people. Okay, tell me more. Okay, remember the beginning? He said, friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then he talked about pandering. That’s kinda the greeting of the show so that you feel seen and welcomed in and you say, okay, I get the tone. I might…may check it out. You know, like a tentative ‘yes’. Okay, that makes sense, yeah. That’s a nice way to welcome people to the show, and then they say, I might check it out. Yeah, then there’s support.

 

Most people prefer listening to this version of the podcast for free that’s ad-supported linearly, some people with a sleep timer. Okay, I don't know if I understand any of that. Yeah, as you become a regular listener, you’ll get a idea of what works for you. But that means paying for the podcast is optional. Okay, what does that mean? Well, most people use it as a bedtime service than a podcast. So…but so, that’s the way it can get out to the most amount of people that use it to fall asleep. Oh, okay. What happens then? Well, then there’s a intro which is separate from the support. It’s a show within a show about fifteen to twenty-five minutes long where he tries to explain what the podcast is, and then he goes off on meanders, and it’s different every time but it follows the same structure.

 

So, it could just be like some…it wouldn't work for a sleep podcast to have an efficient thing, because he believes that having it be familiar ever time but different helps keep it sleepy, because then your brain doesn't know what’s coming, so it can kinda relax instead of being like, oh, there’s gonna go…another…the rain’s gonna start pitter-pattering later. Okay, I think I understand that. That takes twenty minutes, though? Yeah, kinda like this discovery we’ve had; I think we only came into existence because he somehow went from pandering to Poupon. Okay, that’s interesting. So, that’s the intro. That’s the whole show? No, no, the intro is actually the show within a show. The intro doesn't put most people to sleep.

 

Most people put the podcast on and they start getting ready for bed or they’re in bed getting comfortable or they’re doing some sort of chill wind-down activity, and then the intro is kinda like a buffer while they’re doing that to ease them into bedtime. Oh, kinda like a bedtime routine, right? Oh yeah, exactly like that. Yeah, ease them into bedtime, just like it has worked for the podcaster who we’re somehow speaking in the third person about, and it works for him most of the time. I don't know, the intro’s kind of a familiar time where everybody kinda hangs. Now, there is a small percentage of people that sleep through the intro or fall asleep during the intro. We’re happy for them. There used to be people that skip the intro, but then there’s a story version of the podcast that comes out.

 

So, if for some reason you don’t like the intro, you could just listen to Bedtime Stories From Sleep With Me, or if you subscribe to the show, you get story-only versions of every episode. Oh, so, that’s why it’s adaptable. Yeah. So, then after this…after that will be support, and then there will be our bedtime story. But yeah, as far as adaptable, most people, like we said, listen to this version of the show, but there’s some people that only listen to intros, only listen to stories, there’s people that subscribe that listen all night long, there’s people that make playlists of just their favorite styles of episodes. But starting out, you just give these a try and then you kinda develop a preference from there. Okay, that sounds good. Anything else?

 

No…I mean, he want…he’s gonna take…I’m really glad you’re all here, even these two focus-group people within my brain, and we all work really hard, even the focus group…I mean, can you imagine…? I’m still trying…my mind is boggled now. That’s really the name of that product. They say, well, it was a different time. Well, there was a time when if you said, I’m gonna eat something called Grey Poupon, you wouldn't giggle? There was a time on Earth…? Really? I mean, if…again, I’m not giggling because I know what it is, and I say, well, I kinda like it. It’s like, when I was a kid, I had fancy commercials, so, it was the closest I got to the…what was the closest you ever got to being in the Royal Family? Grey Poupon mustard. That’s the closest…I think that’s a French royalty, though.

 

You must have taken history classes in America, huh? Yeah, I did. Yeah, I didn’t even pay…I barely pay…obviously, right? It does come in a glass jar…it used to come in a glass…there are versions in a glass jar, so…okay, well…and…oh, so, we’re really glad you’re here. We work really hard. We yearn…a team of people work on this show, believe it or not, because we really hope and we really yearn and strive, really want to help you fall asleep. So, thanks again for coming by, and thanks to the people that take action, whether you support the show directly or you listen to these next sponsors coming up and you support one of them or you spread the word about the show, because that’s what keeps the show coming out twice a week. Thanks.

 

Alright everybody, this is Scoots here. Welcome to Dreaming of Newhart. We’re gonna turn things over to Bob, Robert, a person they’re working with, and their AI assistant, who all apparently exist as part of a…what is that ever called? Parody or the other thing within my mind. What they’re gonna do is…this is based on the idea that the sitcom from the 1980s and ‘90, even…or 1980’s sitcom, Newhart was all a dream being had by the character from the Bob Newhart Show, Robert Hartley. The main character on Newhart is named Dick Loudon. Because all this exists within my mind, we’ve been given access to their private sessions, 'cause they’re full…I have full disclosure. So, I’m gonna turn things over to them.

 

Hey, Bob, it’s good to see you again. Oh yeah, I wish I could say the same. I was thinking, have you thought about if you’d like me to call you Bob or Robert? Well, I’d prefer…is neither an option? No, Bob. I’ll just go with Bob, then. That’s fine. You know, Bob, I was thinking…welcome back. We took a little break for the holidays. Yeah, it was great, it was great. Well, I was thinking, what if we did stuff different? ‘Cause I’m really curious what your holidays were like. I mean, the last time we spoke was just at…right at the cusp of the holidays, and I’d love to hear how your holidays went and then hear about your dreams, and then look at your dreams. Okay. Okay…and thank you, you did forward me some of your dreams this time, so, I appreciate that.

 

I think this is even funner; you gave them to me out of context, so, it’ll be good. Okay, well, I have my notes here. So, we had…I had my last group of the holiday…I don't know, this gets mixed up with the last thing we talked about, so I’ll just go through what I remember. Again, I’d just like to underscore that this is how I run my business, and even though I’m here to talk about my dreams and I know this is a service to other people and that’s why we’re doing it, I really don’t want you to give me feedback or make any faces about how I run my business helping other people or my practice. No, that’s fine, Bob. I really…as much as you…yes, that’s fine, Bob. I was gonna say, I’m not in judgment of you, but I’ll just say that I agree. Alright, well, as you…well, yeah, no, I’ll try to not make any assumptions, either.

 

So, we had our last group…oh, this was…this is the whole…we have…this one group is really large, and we had our group share or group…last group session before the holidays, and, I don't know, sometimes I see myself as the role of the contrarian, sometimes I see myself as the shepherd. Maybe sometimes I forget myself, but I did notice that everybody was having non-positive things about the holidays, and I at first was like, hey, can we just talk about the good things about the holiday season? And everybody gave me a dull stare. Someone even took me to task; they said, name one good thing about the holidays. I said, well, gifts are good. I like gifts. I like snow. I like people who ring the bells and are helpful to other people.

 

Most of them were in…they could find things, obviously, in their experiences that were contrary to my positive views of those things. Even people were having a S-O-M-A-T-I-C reaction, a couple people, so…and I said, okay, let me tell you what my gift to all of you is, which is there’s no charge for today’s session. Everybody was pretty happy, and it seemed like it ended on a good note. Next thing I know is I went home. My wife was in…my wife, she likes to dress…she has her own sense of style, and as I talked about, sometimes it’s…but right now she’s in…she’s being herself. So, she was dressed in something like a sailor suit, but not as cosplay and not as romantic play, either. Just…but it did…anyway, she gave me a kiss as soon as I walked in the door, in a sailor suit, or more of a sailor jumper, and she kissed me.

 

I said, oh boy, and I said, what’s that…? As soon as I opened the door and stepped into the threshold. She said, well, there’s mistletoe above you. I said, oh, okay. But then as soon as I walked in, she gave me another kiss, a non-mistletoe kiss. I had been out shopping. The stores were really crowded. It took me ten minutes just to check out. Then we started going over gifts that we were giving to family, my family in particular, and she’s really good at all that. So, she was talking about the people we still had to pick gifts for, and typically we give them a fruit basket. I said, well, do any of them give us gifts? She said, no. Well, I guess that’s just who I am. I was like, well, why are we giving them gifts? She kinda was like, come on, Bob, Robert. Then I said, okay, well, they haven't given us any gifts ever?

 

Let’s give them a fruit basket but not…the least-expensive one. So, we agreed on that. Then she said, what about Howard for…what about a gift for Howard? Then we talked about giving him shoes. She was…I don't know who came up with the idea now, to be honest. I was like, well, what size shoes does he wear? Now, whoever came up with the idea…I’m saying it probably was my wife, but it could have been me. It was very thoughtful. A lot of people don’t give shoes as gifts, and this is why, because Howard then shows up, and I’m looking at his shoes. Then I kinda posit what size. You know Howard; he didn’t…he was like, I don't know what size shoes I wear. He was wearing his…he’s a pilot. He gets…apparently he has company shoes. He goes, what are we talking about shoe sizes for?

 

I said, well, I just…I don't know, I’m making conversation. Then he took his shoes off, and apparently, not only do they have company shoes; they’re labeled for whose shoes they are, and they were Winston’s shoes. Then I said, how’d you get Winston’s shoes? He goes, oh boy, there was this…he goes, never mind. You don’t want to know. He goes, it was a party. Then he said he’s going out to celebrate with his son, and then he asked about gift-wrapping if you were giving someone a P-U-P-P-Y. We said, how…no. My wife said, a bow; I’ll go get one. Then when she left, he’s like, what are you giving Emily as a gift? I said, why? He goes, oh boy, I know what she got you, and it’s amazing. I said, can you tell me? He goes, no. Then I said, are you doing that 'cause you’re gonna…?

 

He’s like, no, no, I’m not telling you, but it’s pretty awesome. Then I said, well, a coat. He goes, that’s it? I said, an expensive coat. He goes, is that it? I said, well, maybe some matching clothes? He goes, oh, okay. I said, well, what is she getting me? He goes, no, I’m not telling. Okay, then…nothing important after that…sailor-suit stuff. So, then I was back at work. Carol was like, did you find something nice for Emily? Then I noticed the egg…I was gonna get water, but the eggnog…the water cooler was filled with eggnog this time. Oh, 'cause this is the…this is already the holidays now. She says, what’d you get for Emily? I said, I don't know. She goes, we better go to the store and get something good.

 

Also, she was having a good time, and then she…'cause she was like, oh, by the way, the only reason I came to work was for 3:00 p.m. She’s like, your 3:00 p.m. cancelled. I said, great. Then she said, Santa called, or something. I don't know. Okay, so…oh, then I saw another one of my friends, the dentist. I said…he’s…what are you getting your wife? I said, I don't know. What do you suggest? He goes, a Waterpik. I was like, a Waterpik? Not everybody’s a dent…he goes, well, it’s…he goes, it’s a great gift, really good…you know, 'cause that’s what I’d recommend. I go, no, I had already…I learned the hard way. Okay, then it’s so busy I can't get on the elevator, then it’s snowing.

 

Anyway, I get…I don't want to go into it, but I get a gift, I sneak it in by the tree, but then I really wanted her to…I did want to be…I wanted the pleasure, so then I got caught. I mean, the gifts were wrapped. Then…so, I had two…I thought I had…I thought I did good. She goes, okay, well, let me show you what I got you, and she brings out a pile of twenty gifts with…on top of a gift, and then she brings out another giant box. So, I don't…I’m sure…so, then I was like, I guess I gotta go back out to the store. So, I don't know. Then another thing was like, we were…oh, we were drinking…then the night…that night, and we were watching shows and movies, kinda nostalgia lane. But, I don't know, I’m like, that’s too nostalgic or whatever. We got our Santa Claus mugs.

 

There’s the Christmas Carol, the Nutcracker, Shrek, then there was that show, Glow. Then I was making jokes about Perry Como, then the door buzzes, and it’s Howard. He goes, well, I’m off to France for work. Oh, you’re working on the holidays? He goes, yeah, I always work because I’m not married, so…then the married people can spend time with their families. I say, okay, well, how long…? What, are you gonna go to the airport? He goes, yeah, I’m just gonna go to the airport and sit around. I got a flight in six or seven hours. I’ll just sit around the airport, hint, hint. Oh, Perry Como looks great. Oh, by the way, thanks for the fruit. Then he says, what are you guys drinking? We say, hot toddies. He goes, oh, I can't have a hot toddy. I say, I can make you a warm cream soda. That’s about all we have.

 

Anyway, I think…I don't know if this is when Howard was there or not, but we were thinking about all the things we were grateful for, but also the fact that we were just the two of us and Howard, and Howard wasn’t gonna hang with his son. So, I was like, man, this is kinda…there’s something missing from this season, kind of a contrast…it’s weird because that Thanksgiving, I was talking about…in our one session…but so, I said, let’s have a party, Emily. I realize, again…I called all my clients that I knew would not be having a good time. I invited them all over, and let’s just say that for them, it seemed like they were having fun at first. Then one of my clients, he was like, can I use…do you have a restroom?

 

It reminded me of that sleep podcaster that always uses that term in…with other adults and they always say, no, I have a bathroom. I said…and he said, well, where…which way…where’s the men’s room, which is…? I said, it’s my home. You’re not at the office. He said, I was kinda joking but you didn’t get my joke, and I’m so…so, then he started feeling down. So, I was like…Emily and I were like, we gotta get this party going, because it’s my clients. I can't get it going through booze. So, then we talk about listing to some holiday tunes, and then we kinda debate…everybody has a relationship with a tune, and…oh boy, so, we can't sing that one. Okay. No, no, we can't sing that one. Then the client that was using the restroom’s like, I kinda broke something in there.

 

You’re gonna have to call a plumber. I stuffed a towel in there, but…so, then everybody’s having strong feelings, everybody’s…and then this breakthrough happens, 'cause everybody’s like…I said, everybody…I said, this seems like everybody’s having a terrible time, and I think it’s my fault. Everybody goes, oh, I thought it was my fault. So, everybody’s like, yeah, is anybody having fun? No. Well…but it’s my fault, as the party host. That kinda gave everybody freedom to be like…have a bad time. When it’s not your fault, it changed the whole tone of everything, 'cause everybody had a different reason why they were making the party unenjoyable or they couldn't enjoy the party. But as soon as I did it, then everybody had some freedom.

 

So, then we started singing Shrek carols because I said, Christmas carols get enough things, so we were focusing on Shrek-type songs. We were talking about the shared experience we were all having. Then the doorbell rings; Jerry was there, the dentist. That’s the same one that said…the Waterpik. Yeah, then we hung out and played Deck the Halls and everything like that, and it was not bad. So, yeah, I guess that was my holiday. Alright, Bob, that’s great stuff. Now, can we go through…? You gave me some of your dreams. Could we go through what my…? Based on the dreams…we could either go through your dreams or go through the dream my assistant had based on the dreams you gave me. Oh, great. Yeah, why don’t we just go through your imaginary dream that your assistant had?

 

Okay, so, I gave my assistant…my assistant looked at your dreams, and then I said, what dream…if you had these elements, can you dream of what Robert might dream of based on working together? So, my assistant said…this is the dream my assistant had. Or, it’s a simulation, though. Great. I can't wait to be simulated. Well, he already simulated you, or they already simulated you. Okay, so, you find yourself in the dream. You’re at a quaint Vermont inn. It’s snowing. The inn is bustling, and there’s quirky characters and a gentle, comedic atmosphere. Okay, great. Then there’s people talking because there’s been a mysterious gift…guest, not a gift, and everybody’s atwitter about it.

 

The guest resembles someone that’s been in your other dreams before, and they’ve been charming everyone with tales of adventure and romance. Okay. Then we go to the dining room. We’re having a party. Kirt and Stephanie are there, and Kirt and Stephanie are talking because they have a newfound interest together. Kirt’s now a gourmet cook, and Stephanie’s interested in classic literature. Okay, I don't mean to interupt your assistant, but that’s not the recurring parts of my dream. I know, I know, but this is just my…I’m just trying to…okay. Stephanie wants to have a deeper emotional experience. That’s…my assistant said…even in parentheses, my assistant said, that’s a reference to Bob’s dream.

 

Okay, that’s not…okay, then there’s a dinner, then a comedic confusion happens when two electric razors, battery-powered, apparently, wrapped as gifts, are delivered to your table, and they buzz to life. Everyone laughs about it. Linking it to the themes of the dream…unexpected attraction and sweaty-back feelings. Joanne then reveals she’s secretly been taking piano lessons, hoping to surprise everyone with a performance. But then when she starts to play, she’s terrible. Wow, that says more about the dreamer than me. Yeah, it does, Bob. Okay, then you notice that in the dream, you’re watching the innkeeper, who is you, and you’re watching them at their desk dealing with a overbooked hotel during a snow.

 

They make sure that…the innkeeper makes sure each guest feels attended to, and Larry, Darryl, and Darryl are staying there for some reason. Then the dream highlights a lighthearted revelation where the mysterious guest is revealed to be an actor researching a role for a play about an inn similar to yours. Everybody’s amused and delighted by the twist, and they celebrate by a toast led by you, capturing community and comraderie. Okay, that’s…I mean, isn't that the same dream…? Your assistant’s not very good at dreaming. Wow, Bob, that’s…it’s a similar dream to last time, right? Well, Bob, you’re right. The last dream was a mysterious guest. Is it okay if my assistant keeps trying? I guess. I mean, it seems like it’s hard for your assistant, but I guess I’m fine with it. Okay, Bob.

 

So, let’s…let me just talk to my assistant and then we’ll go through your dream, and then we’ll go through the analysis of the dream. How’s that sound? It sounds fine. Alright, Bob, are you ready to get back to work after that break? Oh, yeah, but you were the one that called the…okay, no, yeah…no, I wasn’t…thank you, Robert. So, I wanted to go over your dream now, and I realize we’re doing this out of order, but let’s…can we talk about your dream that you had, and…? Yeah, sure. I’m happy to do that. Okay, so, I had a dream we were having coffee. We were serving coffee and drinking coffee in the lobby. So, this is…again, we always talk about these dreams I’m having, recurring dreams, and there’s guests also having coffee. It’s cold outside, so some people are wearing coats.

 

I don't know, I’m in a particularly good mood greeting guests, and Kirk comes in. He’s very cold, and he says, hey, hey. He says, do you have any old furniture or books? Because I need some wood, logs. I say, I have some logs I could give you. He’s like, what about a chair or something? I say, why don’t we just use logs, man? He goes, that’s fine, but no one uses these chairs, anyway. Then Stephanie comes down and she’s got…she’s happy 'cause her cousin Stephanie is visiting. This is the Stephanie from…the future Stephanie that will work for us in other dreams. So, it’s kinda weird, but she’s a recurring character in my dreams. But in this dream, we haven't met her yet. Okay, Bob, I’m sorry, I…so, this is the Stephanie that will work for you in the future, but she doesn't work for you now in the dream.

 

So, she’s a recurring dream employee in the future but not currently in the present in your dreams. Yeah, I just want to point out, though, that when you say ‘dream employee’…I would say an employee that appears in my dreams, because she’s not a dream employee. Okay, note…I think I understood that anyway, but noted. Okay, so, back to the thing. So, my dream…so, Stephanie is visiting Leslie, and she’s not feeling great, Stephanie. That’s why she’s visiting Leslie. She just decided not to…she changed her mind on a relationship, and so, they’re no…so, she’s trying to get some time for herself with her cousin. But Leslie says, hey, let’s hang out with Kirk, too.

 

Then the other part of my dream is that…that kinda goes through the dream is that my wife, my dream wife who is a dream wife in…I mean, I also have a great wife that’s a dream…I mean…it’s fine, Bob. We’ve been working together. But she has…George has access to a free piano. My wife says, we can get a free piano. How about that? I said, well, who’s gonna play it? My wife says, well, you could. I said, no, I didn’t follow through on my piano lessons. My wife says, well, maybe I’ll take lessons. It’d be great to have a piano around here. Somebody could play it. I don't buy that she’s gonna do it, but I reluctantly agree. Then Leslie comes down with Stephanie, and Stephanie meets George and Kirt and everybody else.

 

She says, yeah, I’m not…I’m going through a tough time right now, and I’m not the life of the party. George says, you know how that is, Dick. I say, you…and Kirt says, don't worry, Stephanie, we’ll help you. We’re good friends. There’s a lot…she says, do you never…? You know. Then I’m sitting in the lobby…I forgot to tell you this, actually, in my pre-planning, but I’m reading…I got it all here in my notes; it says I was reading a issue of Writers Magazine, and I’m sitting on the sofa-type thing we have in the lobby with George. He’s staring at me reading Writer Magazine, and he’s almost reading along with me. It’s very distracting. I say, do you want something to read? He goes, oh, I read everything except for the magazine you have.

 

He just talks about how bored he is. He goes, I wish I went with Kirk and the girls. I get Kirt and Kirk mixed up. I don't know, I always call him both in the dream. What’s his name in the dream? Well, I don't know, Kirk or…Kirk, Kirk. Kirk, I guess. So, George is like, oh, I wish I went with them. Then on cue, they come in, Kirk, Joanne, Stephanie, and Leslie. They had a great time touring around, and Kirk bought them electric razors, all three of them, gifts. He said, I needed breath mints, and they were on sale. I don't know…I’m not sure I want to know what that’s about. But Stephanie seems really touched. She says, hey, I’m gonna go put my razor away. I’m gonna go up to Leslie’s room. Joanne even says, yeah, I think I’ll put my…but she’s like, hey, see you later, Kirk.

 

I tell Kirk, hey, this seems like you did good helping Stephanie be distracted, and Leslie and my wife. Then we talk about relationships, the three of us, and I say, I was in a similar situation. I thought I was gonna be in a long, rest-of-my-life relationship, and I didn’t think she was into it. So, I said, maybe we should think about this. She’s…I don't know, George had a lot of questions about it, but she decided…she decides on somebody else or whatever. So, then the next thing I remember is the piano getting delivered, and my wife’s very, very excited about it. The piano people, the delivery people, are like, don't worry, we’ll be back. They say, any of you play the piano? My wife says, no, I’m gonna take lessons. They go, oh yeah, really? She goes, yeah, I’ve always wanted to learn to play the piano. I even go, can I pay you?

 

They go, no, you could just pay us when we come back to get it. Don't worry about it. My wife takes that as a challenge and says, oh, I’ll learn it. She says, why don’t you play a little? Aren't you excited? I mean, I can barely play anything. Yeah, so, I could barely play a couple notes. Even though I took lessons, I just didn’t do any lessons, you know? So, I just play something basic, like one where you roll your knuckles along the things. I’m sure it has a title, but it was probably like, Lesson 4 they teach you that. I’ll be honest, I wasn’t very good. I mean, I was pleased with myself. George is like, wow, you can really play the piano. So, I say, come on, honey, why don’t you sit down on the piano and play? She kinda taps away, just playing the piano like a kid would, just tapping.

 

She goes, this…she has this big smile and says, this is gonna be great. I’m not so sure. Then Stephanie wants to talk to me…borrow a book from the study, but she really wants to talk to me in private. So, she says, can you help me find the book? I said, sure. She goes, I didn’t come here for a  book, really. I came here to talk to you about some strong feelings I’m having. My back is sweating. I said, well, have you been exerting yourself? She goes, no, I’m talking about the kind of exertion that would make my back sweat. I said, like a C+C Music Factory song? She goes, I don't know what that is. I said, I guess it’s like…I don't know, maybe I was thinking about dancing? She goes, well, something…it’s not dancing, but it’s a metaphor for dancing.

 

I said, what? She goes, dancing could lead to this. I say, well, wouldn't your back already been sweating if you’ve been dancing? Are you sure you haven't been dancing? She goes, oh Dick, you’re so silly. Don’t you know what I’m talking about? P-I-S-S-I-O-N. I said…you mean P-A-S-S-I-O-N? She goes, yeah. I said, wait a second, this is getting…so, I make sure there was a chair between the two of us. I realize…yeah, I don't think this was…it was a discussion dream, not a dream…my back was not…well, now my back was sweating in the dream because I was uncomfortable. But then she said, it’s ignited in me, and she…but I can see it in her eyes, too. Then I guess in the dream, it was a bit humbling — even though I wasn’t interested — that she says, yeah, I’m with Kirk. Oh, 'cause I said I’m a writer.

 

I’ve had this happen to me before. She goes, oh, not you. Kirk. I said, oh yeah, he’s got very nice hair and he’s very tall. She goes, yeah, he’s got an essence that I’m into. She goes, you’re his best friend. What should I do? I go, best friend? Where does everybody keep getting this idea that I’m his best friend? I said, wait, are we talking about the same thing, your synchronized back sweating, kind of? She goes, yeah, exactly. He goes, the two of you…and I said, I don't know if he’s the right person to do that. He’s like, why are you talk…? Are you talking to me about this…? Oh, that’s when she said your best friend. I said, this feels exactly like the piano situation for some reason. Leslie comes in, and she goes, yeah, I was…I told Dick about this. She goes, you talked to Dick about this? She…what are you doing? He’s my boss.

 

She goes, I just want to figure out if I should…how I should feel. It’s just overwhelming feelings and I wanted to talk to somebody about it, and talk to more…one person about it. I said, maybe this is just…maybe you’re too healthy for…I said, it makes sense. It’s just, we’re not…even in the dream, I’m not used to this level of honesty even in my practice. So, then the next part of the dream is Kirk’s serving…the next part of the dream…I don't think it was…again, I don't think…I guess if Kirt’s…Kirk’s a proxy for me. So is Stephanie, you know? But he’s serving hamburgers to a family. Stephanie comes in, and she’s…tells him what’s going on with her. She says, does that sound like something that would appeal to you? He says, let me just get everybody outta here. So, he asks the family to leave.

 

He says, don't worry, you don’t have to pay for your burgers, but take them to go and hit the road. She had just seen a movie with Kathleen Turner and William Hurt, which also caused…that was part of…I don't know. She says…it was like, I don't know if it was that movie, but that movie’s called Warm Skin, so…and…or The Warmth of…I don't know. So, anyway…so, then Kirk takes off his shoes and he goes…but the thing is, I kinda have…I really like Leslie. She goes, Leslie doesn't care for you or care about…she said it’s up to me. I said, but yeah, I still think…and then I said, well, I guess we could try. Then they kiss, and then he says he can't. He says, my heart is pledged to Stephanie…I mean Leslie, and there can never be anything meaningful between us. She says, yeah, I’m not…that’s…I’m not here for meaning.

 

I’m here based on desire. I said, I think I could…Kirk…I mean, I…whoops, I guess I had a Freudian slip there. It’s okay, Bob. That’s fine. It’s your dream. It’s all a Freudian slip. Oh, okay. So, I say, yeah, Kirk…Kirk says, I can help you with…I think I can help. Then they didn’t get to…I didn’t get to…that’s the last thing I remember about that part of the dream, but then Joanne’s taking piano lessons, but she’s more interested in making…she’s very distractable and trying to get with me and George and what we’re doing. I say, this is kind of a weekly commitment. If you want to learn, you gotta practice on a regular basis. She says, okay, just have them come pick up the piano. Forget the whole thing. I say, okay, yeah, I’ll have them come and pick up the piano. Then…is this…? Oh, then Leslie comes in.

 

She goes, have you seen Stephanie? She didn’t come home last night. I think she stayed with Kirk. I feel judgmental of Kirk immediately. I’m like, that’s not okay. Very…I don't know, I’m very judgmental, and I’ll be honest, in the dream it just felt like I was judgmental, not jealous or putting my values on…I mean, I was definitely putting my values on him. Joanne…I don't know. She’s like, okay, wait a second…I don't know. So…go back and forth, and then Stephanie comes and she goes…she’s really buoyant. But basically, it’s…there’s a bunch of discussions or something, but she goes, here’s some invitations to my wedding. It’s back on. We’re like, wait a second, what? She goes, Kirk’s…or, I don't know who said that; Kirk’s a genius.

 

But she goes, yeah, I needed to see the edge of this passion to see what was important to me. We go, does Kirk know about this? Everybody’s happy. It was one of those strange things. I say, well, I guess I was over-judgmental. I thought I knew how it was gonna turn out, skeptical as always. Then Kirk’s like, Leslie, can you ever forgive me? Or, do you think Leslie will ever forgive me? I go, I don't think Leslie’s mad, 'cause there’s…you’re not…you just have…you just like Leslie. She’s not…I said, do you realize…? I mean, I guess even as a dream this is strange, but I was like, you have a unrequited crush on the woman that works for us. Then her cousin was attracted to you only on a warm-skin basis. So…and then you and her cousin danced together, but Leslie’s not interested in you, so it doesn't matter.

 

There’s no you and her. Kirk says, yeah, don't worry, I still love her, though, so…and I said, well, you don’t love her. He goes, yeah, well…he goes, if…he goes, if this happens…if this is what it takes to win her over, I’m willing to do it. Joanne and I laughed about that 'cause it was so ridiculous. Okay, well, that’s interesting, Bob. You ready for…to take a look at some of these dreams that you forwarded to me and see what my assistant says? Yeah. Let’s go ahead. Okay, let me just see what I have here. There’s a lot that was interesting, but some things stuck out to me. I think the first thing is…oh yeah, so, the thing with Kirk coming over and asking for furniture instead of wood…let’s see. So, the Freudian thing…requests for old furniture or wood may be basic needs.

 

Maybe, according to Freud, you might be thinking about security or stability, maybe dependency or vulnerability. It could be a neighborly interaction, and that could be your thoughts on social support and community, which kinda fits with your day…your week. Your roles within these relationships is giver, receiver, or equal participant. That could play into how you conducted yourself. Okay. Jungian…maybe Kirk’s one of those archetypal figures of your own personality that’s depleted or in need, and maybe in need of fundamental resources or emotional needs, but it could go…come down to community and individuality and that tension.

 

Self-sufficiency and interdependence…again, with your choices…maybe this dream was respecting that you had your clients over…I mean, even though maybe another professional wouldn't think that’s a good idea, the Jung and Freud within you does. Astrologically…Saturn…it could be bringing up themes of scarcity. Personal…maybe…my assistant tends to forget your charts, so…it could be symbolic resource management. I’m not familiar with this, but my assistant says emotional warmth. Maybe you want more warmth or structure. It could be thermal dynamics in relationships, symbolizing the temperatures of things. You don’t want to be too cold or distant. Historical contextualization…maybe you’re thinking about scarcity. I don't know. The next thing we thought about is the piano.

 

We thought that was interesting. So, yeah, let’s see. The piano could be a symbol in Freudian…expression, creativity. Maybe Joanne’s enthusiasm is a unconscious desire for more expression or fulfilment or some sort of internal worry, the opposite. Your reluctance could be resistance to change or the unknown, or maybe some dynamics in your household have to change. Jungian…my assistant’s like, yeah, that piano could be an anima projection, a manifestation of the feminine aspect of your psyche, and maybe you’re hestitant to integrate and accept your anima’s desires in your psyche. You gotta think about that. I’m not sure what to think about it. Well, right. It could also be a potential for personal or communal growth. That kinda fits with your week.

 

Now, Virgo sun…now my assistant remembered that your skepticism or practical concerns…now, based on the current charts, it could be, yeah, practical issues. Neptune may be creating some romanticism about creative possibilities. Wow, this is…all this stuff’s so useful. It is, Bob. Bob…but to some people, it is useful. I know. That’s why I’m here. Okay…oh boy, I lost my page, Bob. You’ll have to excuse me. I just saw something about a parade. Okay, so, quantum decision-making could be taking place here. What about…if each choice around the piano creates a parallel reality, and…one where you get the piano, one where you don’t, and each one of those is a different aspect of your personal development and relationship dynamics. Okay, but in the…it’s a dream, and what does that have to do with…?

 

I’m just telling you, Bob. Quantum…okay, the piano is a time machine…okay, this is the first time my assistant’s pointed this out. What if the piano has a magical ability to transport people back to pivotal moments in history? This could be opportunities for learning. Like, kinda…this would be like the Magic School Bus, huh? Yeah. Interesting. These are good ones. My assistant also has musical communication. Suppose the piano could translate emotions into music, allowing non-verbal communication between you and Joanne. This could be…create understanding and connection beyond words. This one…this is actually good dreams for your assistant to be having versus the fake dreams your assistant had. Yeah, this is…Bob, we’re in new territory this week.

 

So, my assistant is almost dreaming that the piano’s a time machine and an emotional communicator, also a eco-psychological symbol, a living entity that improves the household’s ecosystem by lowering stress through music, enhancing emotional wellbeing, and fostering environmental connectivity throughout the…'cause it’s made of wood. Wow, your assistant’s on point here. I mean, in a dream circumstance. Yeah. Let’s go on to this. I’m excited now. Do you check your…? No, I don't check it, Bob. We check it together. You’re very trusting. Yeah, sure, Bob. I’m very trusting. Okay, so, Kirk bought your wife and two other friends…took them on a tour, then bought them electric razors as gifts. Okay, Freud…maybe electric razors…symbols of personal hygiene or identity, self-image.

 

Maybe Kirk’s having some influence on the identities of those around you. The tour and gifts could be exploration, discovery, maybe leaving a influence on someone. Jungian…maybe these are tools for transformation or losing unneccessary parts of one’s persona. Initiation, transition, maybe you’re undergoing some sort of refinement or personal transformation, or the true group dynamics…a collective journey of the unconscience, exploring new territories of the psyche. I think you’re very…Jung really would like your daytime…'cause, yeah, this kinda seems like…the singing together, guiding other aspects and other people through transformations. My assistant’s really not good with the astrology, I don't think. Mercury maybe is influencing communication. Venus…relationships and gifts.

 

Okay, maybe…back to the out-of-box ideas symbolizing…this is Freudian…symbolizing losing things that aren't effective. Quantum synchronicity…what…so, this is a good one, Bob. I’m waiting. What if the razors have quantum properties that synchronize the thoughts or emotions of those who use them? These could explore themes of interconnected consciousness or shared experiences. Wow. Wow indeed. What about historical echoes? Again, my assistant tends to…what if the razors are antiques even though they’re electrical and new? Each one is associated with a historical figure, and using them could invoke memories of these figures and insights and lessons from history. Did you change your power source or something recently? No, Bob.

 

‘Cause…maybe your assistant needs a reboot. Well, I think in this case, he’s…doesn't need a reboot. What about a virtual-reality tour? This virtual reality could predict self-improvements or life changes, and these are tools that can unlock different futures or scenarios in the virtual-reality experience. Wow. I don't even know what to say about any of that. You don’t have to say anything at all, Bob. Okay, now let’s talk about Stephanie’s talk about desire and her feelings about Kirk and you being unclear on it initially. Okay, I’m a little bit…I feel exposed and vulnerable. That’s good. That’s good, Bob. Okay, so Freud, according to my assistant…misunderstanding and revelation. Maybe you have some desires there or you’re kind of repressing some desires.

 

The realization that Stephanie’s open about hers could…that could be some displacement or insecurity that you need to uncover. These…the expression of these particular desires…Freud would say Stephanie’s openness in expression…maybe there’s some tensions or unacknowledged things with you. Okay, but my…I was open that my wife was wearing a sailor suit. Okay, so maybe it’s some sort of positive feedback about that. It seems like this dream to me…even though this is…we don’t have clearly-defined roles, it does seem like a positive confirmation of this particular past couple days for you. So, you’re saying it’s good that I like…that my wife’s in a sailor suit jumper. I don't know, Bob.

 

But I’m just saying what Jung may say is that shadow and persona…maybe this is a shadow encounter and there’s hidden aspects that have to be discovered or not ignored, and a projection, possibly, through Stephanie. Maybe she’s your inner feminine and her discussions about it…they could just be different parts of your psyche that need development. Astrologically, we got Venus and Mars there, transits, and my…of course my thing…my assistant forgot…you know. But Mercury could be miscommunication, role-reversal…so, maybe this dream is some sort of role-reversal help. What if in the dream world you’re…this is something…and maybe it’s some sort of exercise in understanding different perspectives or emotions. Huh, that’s…I mean, that kinda does fit with my job.

 

I would never see it that way until your assistant pointed it out. Yeah, maybe it’s some sort of compassion or empathy development if you and Stephanie are you, you know? Okay, what else does your assistant have? What about emotional conductor? What if there’s an unseen force in the dream that brings up hidden emotions and puts them in the open, like an emotional conductor that ensures you’re aware of your deep desires? Okay, I guess that’s also like my job. What about multi-dimensional love dynamics? What if there’s parallel dimensions where relationships differ significantly, but those are coming through your dreams? So, you…do you mean like…? Yeah, I mean…I don't know.

 

Yeah, that in other dimensions there’s you or a different version of you, and, yeah, their experiences and relationships, even in these realms, are different. But in your dreams, whatever separates things are less…it’s more fluid. Okay. This next one, Bob, you might sit down for. Great news; I’m already sitting down. What if this is some sort of mirror maze? What do you mean? Within your dream, where each reflect…a dream mirror maze where each reflection reveals hidden aspects of your personal desires, and Stephanie is a mirror reflecting part of your subconscience. That’s not as ridiculous as your thing made it sound. Okay, what’s next? Next up is your…Kirk serving hamburgers to a family of four, you said, and Stephanie comes in and expresses her desire, and then Kirk has the family leave.

 

So, Stephanie’s expression…again, we kinda talked about that, direct expression. Instead of repression, it could be unexpressed desires in you as some sort of latent feelings. Kirk having the family leave…maybe that’s some sort of mechanism where you’re not comfortable with some sort of uncomfortable feeling and you’re trying to maintain decorum over a situation that may…you’re not comfortable with personally or socially. Jung might say archetypal dynamics…maybe it’s the shadow self coming to the surface. Kirk representing the order being restored could be some sort of thing with your anima and animus…and as a conventional setting, challenging the reaction, the restaurant with the family eating there.

 

Mars and Venus dynamics…maybe Stephanie’s forthright expression could be influenced by a strong Mars and Venus. Maybe Kirk’s reaction with the family may…yeah, be, again, protective or defensive. What about culinary symbolism in your dreams, my assistant says? What if the hamburgers symbolize mundane or everyday desires that are unceremoniously discarded when deeper, primal desires surface? This could reflect how basic needs or simple pleasures are often overshadowed. Huh, so…appreciate…keep it simple in the holidays, the gifts. Bob, you’re…I think you’re exactly right. What about quantum emotional fluctuations? The emotional states are in quantum flux, where desires can intensify suddenly and unpredictably, as seen in Stephanie and Kirk’s actions.

 

Well, if there’s ever a season where there’s quantum fluctuation, it’s the holidays. You’re right about that, Bob. Again, we get into the symbolic role-reversal. There’s also role-reversal of gender expectations which challenges you to reconsider your views. Okay, I like that. Or the restaurant could be some sort of space where…maybe the restaurant is where inner desires can manifest physically and influence action. Okay. So, we got a magical restaurant, a magical piano, and magical electrical razors now. I mean, you could really make a sleep podcast out of that stuff, huh, Bob? Yeah, you could, for sure, in the future. Okay, the piano lessons and your wife…the whole thing around the piano lessons…Freud might say it’s avoidance and denial, a manifestation of some resistance in you.

 

Is it external or internal, would be the question. Or is it you not meeting expectations by breaking conventions and having your clients over for the holidays for a party, or that you broke convention again by acknowledging the party sucked? Yeah, I think this may play into it. I mean, the thing is, Bob, I think this is probably how…our work has finally got to this place where your dreams are positively reflecting your week instead of trying to give you hints. So, I’m on the right path? It’s not a distraction as a defense mechanism? It could be, Bob. Again, Jung is gonna see it as conscious versus unconscience or some sort of reluctance and denial. It could be Mercury retrograde, 'cause we don’t know…since Joanne’s a part of your…if you knew Joanne’s birth dates in your dreams, that would be helpful so we could do her charts.

 

It could be Neptune blurring things. What if it’s a metaphorical expression of creativity? Tell me more. Like, the piano lessons are…can be of any creative or personal development, and it could be a broader theme. So, maybe it’s helping you with your practice. Okay. Quantum uncertainty and personal development…what if there’s quantum uncertainty in personal growth, where there’s a state of wanting to learn and not wanting to learn, and they could coexist? I don't under…even I don't understand this, Bob…similar to Schrodinger’s Cat. Yeah, I don't know. What if the…? Here’s…I think my assistant really likes this piano.

 

The piano is a time gate…what if instead of a time machine it’s a time gate, and each note played resonates in a specific time in history, and Joanne’s reluctance to play it is maybe that she doesn't want to…there’s something in the history or past-life experience, and she says, I don't want to play a note on this thing 'cause it’s a time gate. Huh, so, a time gate allows time to pass through it, where a time machine takes you somewhere, huh? I guess so. Let’s lay…let’s do this last one, Bob, before we part ways. What if it’s about a symbolic life soundtrack? Have you ever thought about your life soundtrack? No. Or, that would have been it, right there.

 

Okay, Bob, well, imagine the piano represents the soundtrack of Joanna’s life, your dream wife’s life, and not practicing maybe is a dissatisfaction with the current music of her life, and seeking changes in the life…I mean, Bob, this is exactly…yeah, I guess we’re both flabbergasted…some change in the life soundtrack that they’re not ready to acknowledge or articulate. So, I think this was a good week, Bob. What do you think? It was a week, for sure, and I’m glad we met, and I think it’s time for everybody to rest here and get some sleep. Goodnight. Goodnight, Bob.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)

Dreaming Of Newhart

 

Grey Poupon

https://www.wytv.com/news/daybreak/nugget-of-knowledge-grey-poupon-mustard/

https://www.saveur.com/article/Kitchen/Avez-Vous-du-Vrai-Poupon/

https://www.vox.com/videos/2016/10/12/13250360/grey-poupon-in-hip-hop

 

Water Pik

https://instafloss.com/blogs/news/the-complete-history-of-oral-irrigation-water-flossing?srsltid=AfmBOopjzYyPfjzOvGeIn1QpBJqFqPOfOm15s5UnEWd7HCXfk66uBZ7A

https://www.relish-tech.com/news/history-of%20water-flosser.html

https://leetrevinodental.com/the-oral-irrigator-sixty-years-of-history-and-how-it-helps-your-oral-health/

 

S1/S2 cast changes

https://www.avclub.com/how-the-second-season-of-newhart-proves-sitcoms-need-ti-1798266087

http://zvbxrpl.blogspot.com/2005/12/anatomy-of-re-tool-newhart.html

http://zvbxrpl.blogspot.com/2008/10/why-steve-kampmann-left-newhart.html

 

Chopsticks Piano

https://www.classicfm.com/discover-music/instruments/piano/history-of-chopsticks-music-euphemia-allen/

https://www.rnz.co.nz/concert/programmes/upbeat/audio/2018658204/the-history-of-musical-chopsticks-and-its-many-variations

https://wordfoolery.wordpress.com/2024/03/25/the-nimble-history-of-the-chopstick/

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

A Long Winter’s Night

Might be the first episode of 2025

Pandering to 2025

Packed tight like a diaper

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Lumen; Uncommon Goods; Acorns

 

INTRO

A poorly expansive vocabulary

A Non-Bragadocious Way

Pandering can be positive

Is pandering inherently non-truthful?

Someone out there is familiar with your sleepless situation

A shared sense of nonsense

Were we discussing Grey Poupon?

That might be the worst word to come up with

Doing an MIB style flash for Grey Poupon

Grey Poupon Focus Group

Fortunately it’s not grey

Definitely not Grey’s Poupon, that’s too associative

I have a generic version of this premium product in my fridge

You have to let go to listen

I can’t connect this to closely to mustard, it just won’t work

Your Own Personal Boris Borloff

The imaginary focus group within my mind

Why did it take me 20 minutes to think of the phrase “focus group”?

From Pandering to Poupon

I’ll let my inner focus group explain the structure of the show

My mind is boggled now

Eating Grey Poupon is the closest I’ve ever gotten to being in the royal family

I must’ve taken history classes in America, huh?

 

STORY

We’re gonna turn this over to the parody within my mind

Explaining the dreamy concept

Do you prefer Bob or Robert?

We took a holiday break

Let’s switch up the structure

Talk about the week first

Please don’t judge how I run my practice, please

Our last group session before the holidays

Name one good thing about the holidays

I like gifts, snow, and helpful people ringing bells

My clients expressed contrary opinions

My gift is that I won’t charge for today’s session

My wife’s sense of style

Dressed in a kind of sailor suit

Kissed under the mistletoe

Giving fruit baskets to friends

The least expensive fruit basket

A gift for Howard

A shoe is a very personal gift

Positing shoe sizes

Howard gets shoes from his airline

How did Howard get Winston’s shoes?

Should you gift wrap a P-U-P-P-Y?

Emily has an amazing gift for Bob

Howard won’t spill the beans

Back at work

Carol also hints that Emily has a great gift for me

Water Cooler full of Egg Nog

My 3pm canceled

My dentist suggests a water pik

I sneak a gift in, but not that well

Emily brings out over 20 gifts for me

I need to get more

The night can’t be too nostalgic

Watching Shrek and Glow

Howard is flying off to France because he’s solo

Howard hints he would like to hang

I can make him a warm cream soda

Something is missing

Let’s have a party

Inviting all my clients over

The party starts fun

I have a bathroom, not a restroom

The party is going south

Someone breaks our bathroom

A lot of strong feelings

I admit that the party is bad and it’s my fault

The freedom to have a bad time when it’s not your fault

Singing Shrek Type Songs

Jerry the Dentist shows up

And the party turns out not bad

And that was my holiday

My assistant created some dreams based on your dreams

An imaginary assistant dream

In a quaint Vermont inn

A mysterious guest charming everyone with tales of adventure and romance

Kirk and Stephanie are hanging out

Kirk is a cook and Stephanie is interested in classical literature

Stephanie wants a deeper emotional experience

Comedic Confusion

2 electric razors buzz to life

Joanne tries to surprise everyone with a piano performance

Light Hearted Revelation

The mysterious guest is an actor researching a role

The assistant is never good at dreaming

I guess the assistant can keep trying

Describe your dream now

Serving coffee in the lobby

Kirk is very cold

Looking for old furniture and books for fuel

Why not just use logs?

Leslie’s cousin Stephanie is visiting

Stephanie will work for us in the future

A recurring future dream employee

Stephanie is visiting Leslie

George has access to a free piano

Who would play the piano?

Stephanie is going through a tough time right now

I’m reading an issue of Writer’s Magazine

George is staring at me, reading

George is so bored

George wishes he had gone out with Kirk and the girls

I mix up Kurt and Kirk

They had a great time

Kirk bought them all electric razors as a gift

Stephanie is very touched by this

Kirk did good distracting Stephanie

I could relate to Stephanie’s situation

Joanne is gonna take piano lessons

The movers will take their payment when they pick up the piano later

Joanne takes that as a challenge

Tapping away at the piano

Stephanie wants to talk to me in private

Strong Back Sweating Feelings

A metaphor for dancing

P-I-S-S-I-O-N

P-A-S-S-I-O-N

My back was not sweating in the same way

I assume she feels this way about me

But she feels this way about Kirk

Why does everyone assume I’m Kirk’s best friend?

Synchronized Back Sweating

Kirk and Stephanie are both proxies for me, I guess

Kirk is serving hamburgers to a family

Stephanie proposes her feelings to Kirk

Kirk is down

The family has to go, though

But Kirk likes Leslie

Leslie doesn’t care about you, Kirk!

Stephanie is not looking for meaning

Dreams are 100% Freudian Slip

Joanne is very distractible

Piano lessons aren’t going great

They’ll come pick up the piano

Leslie is looking for Stephanie

I’m very judgmental of Kirk

Stephanie is very buoyant

Stephanie’s wedding is back on!

Stephanie just needed to find the edge of passion

Can Leslie ever forgive Kirk?

Leslie doesn’t care, Kirk

Shall we analyze the dream now?

Kirk asking for furniture and not wood

Freud: Addressing Basic Needs?

A neighborly interaction

Astrology: Themes of Scarcity

My assistant tends to forget your charts

Thermal Dynamics in Relationships

Historical Contextualization

Piano

A desire for more expression and fulfillment

Accepting the desires in your psyche

Potential for Communal Growth

Virgo Sun: Practical Concerns

Quantum Decision Making

Each choice around the piano creates a parallel reality

The piano is a … time machine?

Or is the piano communicating?

Eco-Psychological Symbol

Bob is actually impressed by these insights

Kirks’ electric razor gifts

Freud: Identity, Self-Image

Jung: Tools for Transformation, losing parts of one’s persona

A group journey into the subconscious

Jung would like your daytime

Historical Echoes

Maybe your assistant needs a reboot

Virtual Reality Tour

Talking about Stephanie’s admission of desire

Freud: Repressing Desires

Stephanie’s openness is making you uncomfortable

Or maybe it’s positive feedback!

Or Stephanie and Kirk could be different parts of your psyche that need development

Some sort of role reversal help

Multidimensional Love Dynamics

A different version of you, communicating through dreams

Some sort of Mirror Maze

Making the hamburger family

Discomfort with certain feelings

Restoring order over the shadow self

This might be growth

Quantum Emotional Fluctuations

Holidays are definitely a time of quantum fluctuations

Inner desires can manifest in the restaurant

The Piano Lessons situation

Breaking conventions / habits

The dreams are now positively reflecting your week, Bob

Things are going in the right direction!

Can we figure out your dream wife’s horoscope?

Quantum Uncertainty

Or is the piano a time gate?

Time Gate vs Time Machine

Symbolic Life Soundtrack

Seeking Changes in Your Life Soundtrack

This was a good week

Time to rest

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1315

Title: Warm Back from Busy Season | Dreaming of Newhart S1E14

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Lumen; Uncommon Goods; Acorns

Notable Language:

• Expansive
• A Non-Bragadocious Way
• A shared sense of nonsense
• Bespoke Mustards
• Your Own Personal Boris Borloff
• From Pandering to Poupon
• S-O-MA-T-I-C
• Sailor Jumper
• P-U-P-P-Y
• Singing Shrek Type Songs
• Comedic Confusion
• Light Hearted Revelation
• Strong Back Sweating Feelings
• P-I-S-S-I-O-N
• P-A-S-S-I-O-N
• Synchronized Back Sweating
• 100% Freudian Slip
• A Warm-Skin Basis
• Eco-Psychological Symbol
• Multidimensional Love Dynamics
• Quantum Emotional Fluctuations
• Symbolic Life Soundtrack

 

Notable Culture:

• • Grey Poupon

• Men In Black

• • Boris Karloff

• The Bob Newhart Show

• Newhart

• Shrek

• Glow

• • Perry Como
  • C+C Music Factory

• Warm Skin

• Kathleen Turner
• William Hurt
• Schrodinger’s Cat

 

Notable Talking Points:

• A poorly expansive vocabulary
• A Non-Bragadocious Way
• Pandering can be positive
• Is pandering inherently non-truthful?
• Someone out there is familiar with your sleepless situation
• A shared sense of nonsense
• Were we discussing Grey Poupon?
• That might be the worst word to come up with
• Doing an MIB style flash for Grey Poupon
• Grey Poupon Focus Group
• Fortunately it’s not grey
• Definitely not Grey’s Poupon, that’s too associative
• I have a generic version of this premium product in my fridge
• You have to let go to listen
• I can’t connect this to closely to mustard, it just won’t work
• Your Own Personal Boris Borloff
• The imaginary focus group within my mind
• Why did it take me 20 minutes to think of the phrase “focus group”?
• From Pandering to Poupon
• I’ll let my inner focus group explain the structure of the show
• My mind is boggled now
• Eating Grey Poupon is the closest I’ve ever gotten to being in the royal family
• I must’ve taken history classes in America, huh?
• We’re gonna turn this over to the parody within my mind
• Explaining the dreamy concept
• Do you prefer Bob or Robert?
• We took a holiday break
• Let’s switch up the structure
• Talk about the week first
• Please don’t judge how I run my practice, please
• Our last group session before the holidays
• Name one good thing about the holidays
• I like gifts, snow, and helpful people ringing bells
• My clients expressed contrary opinions
• My gift is that I won’t charge for today’s session
• My wife’s sense of style
• Dressed in a kind of sailor suit
• Kissed under the mistletoe
• Giving fruit baskets to friends
• The least expensive fruit basket
• A gift for Howard
• A shoe is a very personal gift
• Positing shoe sizes
• Howard gets shoes from his airline
• How did Howard get Winston’s shoes?
• Should you gift wrap a P-U-P-P-Y?
• Emily has an amazing gift for Bob
• Howard won’t spill the beans
• Back at work
• Carol also hints that Emily has a great gift for me
• Water Cooler full of Egg Nog
• My 3pm canceled
• My dentist suggests a water pik
• I sneak a gift in, but not that well
• Emily brings out over 20 gifts for me
• I need to get more
• The night can’t be too nostalgic
• Watching Shrek and Glow
• Howard is flying off to France because he’s solo
• Howard hints he would like to hang
• I can make him a warm cream soda
• Something is missing
• Let’s have a party
• Inviting all my clients over
• The party starts fun
• I have a bathroom, not a restroom
• The party is going south
• Someone breaks our bathroom
• A lot of strong feelings
• I admit that the party is bad and it’s my fault
• The freedom to have a bad time when it’s not your fault
• Singing Shrek Type Songs
• Jerry the Dentist shows up
• And the party turns out not bad
• And that was my holiday
• My assistant created some dreams based on your dreams
• An imaginary assistant dream
• In a quaint Vermont inn
• A mysterious guest charming everyone with tales of adventure and romance
• Kirk and Stephanie are hanging out
• Kirk is a cook and Stephanie is interested in classical literature
• Stephanie wants a deeper emotional experience
• Comedic Confusion
• 2 electric razors buzz to life
• Joanne tries to surprise everyone with a piano performance
• Light Hearted Revelation
• The mysterious guest is an actor researching a role
• The assistant is never good at dreaming
• I guess the assistant can keep trying
• Describe your dream now
• Serving coffee in the lobby
• Kirk is very cold
• Looking for old furniture and books for fuel
• Why not just use logs?
• Leslie’s cousin Stephanie is visiting
• Stephanie will work for us in the future
• A recurring future dream employee
• Stephanie is visiting Leslie
• George has access to a free piano
• Who would play the piano?
• Stephanie is going through a tough time right now
• I’m reading an issue of Writer’s Magazine
• George is staring at me, reading
• George is so bored
• George wishes he had gone out with Kirk and the girls
• I mix up Kurt and Kirk
• They had a great time
• Kirk bought them all electric razors as a gift
• Stephanie is very touched by this
• Kirk did good distracting Stephanie
• I could relate to Stephanie’s situation
• Joanne is gonna take piano lessons
• The movers will take their payment when they pick up the piano later
• Joanne takes that as a challenge
• Tapping away at the piano
• Stephanie wants to talk to me in private
• Strong Back Sweating Feelings
• A metaphor for dancing
• P-I-S-S-I-O-N
• P-A-S-S-I-O-N
• My back was not sweating in the same way
• I assume she feels this way about me
• But she feels this way about Kirk
• Why does everyone assume I’m Kirk’s best friend?
• Synchronized Back Sweating
• Kirk and Stephanie are both proxies for me, I guess
• Kirk is serving hamburgers to a family
• Stephanie proposes her feelings to Kirk
• Kirk is down
• The family has to go, though
• But Kirk likes Leslie
• Leslie doesn’t care about you, Kirk!
• Stephanie is not looking for meaning
• Dreams are 100% Freudian Slip
• Joanne is very distractible
• Piano lessons aren’t going great
• They’ll come pick up the piano
• Leslie is looking for Stephanie
• I’m very judgmental of Kirk
• Stephanie is very buoyant
• Stephanie’s wedding is back on!
• Stephanie just needed to find the edge of passion
• Can Leslie ever forgive Kirk?
• Leslie doesn’t care, Kirk
• Shall we analyze the dream now?
• Kirk asking for furniture and not wood
• Freud: Addressing Basic Needs?
• A neighborly interaction
• Astrology: Themes of Scarcity
• My assistant tends to forget your charts
• Thermal Dynamics in Relationships
• Historical Contextualization
• Piano
• A desire for more expression and fulfillment
• Accepting the desires in your psyche
• Potential for Communal Growth
• Virgo Sun: Practical Concerns
• Quantum Decision Making
• Each choice around the piano creates a parallel reality
• The piano is a … time machine?
• Or is the piano communicating?
• Eco-Psychological Symbol
• Bob is actually impressed by these insights
• Kirks’ electric razor gifts
• Freud: Identity, Self-Image
• Jung: Tools for Transformation, losing parts of one’s persona
• A group journey into the subconscious
• Jung would like your daytime
• Historical Echoes
• Maybe your assistant needs a reboot
• Virtual Reality Tour
• Talking about Stephanie’s admission of desire
• Freud: Repressing Desires
• Stephanie’s openness is making you uncomfortable
• Or maybe it’s positive feedback!
• Or Stephanie and Kirk could be different parts of your psyche that need development
• Some sort of role reversal help
• Multidimensional Love Dynamics
• A different version of you, communicating through dreams
• Some sort of Mirror Maze
• Making the hamburger family
• Discomfort with certain feelings
• Restoring order over the shadow self
• This might be growth
• Quantum Emotional Fluctuations
• Holidays are definitely a time of quantum fluctuations
• Inner desires can manifest in the restaurant
• The Piano Lessons situation
• Breaking conventions / habits
• The dreams are now positively reflecting your week, Bob
• Things are going in the right direction!
• Can we figure out your dream wife’s horoscope?
• Quantum Uncertainty
• Or is the piano a time gate?
• Time Gate vs Time Machine
• Symbolic Life Soundtrack
• Seeking Changes in Your Life Soundtrack
• This was a good week
• Time to rest