1314 – Fancy Nancy Drew | All Intros 939 – 942
Scooter interviews micro machines and calls upon the power of Nancy Drew to dial this all intro episode in just right.
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Episode 1314 – Fancy Nancy Drew | All Intros 939-942
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends of Mandalore…if there was…I don't know the…actually, I don't know the history of Mandalore. Friends of Mandaboria, because that…you say, well, fans of a man that bores…if that’s the case, you’re in the right place. If you’re a friend of Mandalore…I still have to figure out what that means. ‘Cause I say, well, what…? Okay, so, it sounds like there’s…just like every other…that that’s a mixed history. So, when I say, ‘friends of Mandalore’, I probably should just say…if you’re a fan of a man to bore you to sleep, it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever is keeping you awake. That could be thoughts, you know, things on your mind that you’re thinking about, rumination…holy cow, when was the last time I talked about rumination? Regular listeners say, two weeks ago, Scoots. ‘Cause I feel like I need to ruminate about rumination. I feel like it’s been too long.
I feel like if I had…what’s…not a repose or a respite, but something like a break, even though I think those both mean a break. So, whatever…thoughts, things on your mind that you’re thinking about, feelings, it could be emotions coming up about those thoughts or about something else or they could just be there. You’re experiencing them or maybe you’re not. Sometimes I experience my feelings and sometimes I’m trying to not experience them. So, it could be feelings, physical sensations, it could be a change in your routine or your partner’s routine or your family’s routine. It could be something else. Whatever it is…especially third, fourth, fifth-shift people. So many industrialists have sent me messages recently saying, quit talking about the fifth and sixth shifts and the fourth-dimensional shifts.
We were trying to keep a lid on that, Scooter. Also, they don’t exist. There’s only three…‘cause now the great…it was like the tipi barons. They’ve been…I don’t think I’ve ever heard from the tipi barons ‘til 2020 and now 2021, but they’re out there. Baron von Scott and then that one…you know, the…well, Baron von Scott’s the one that reached out to me and said…but now we have police requesting to work on the fifth and sixth shifts, and we don’t know what to do. I said, well, here’s the thing…I said, well, I don’t do that for free. I can’t consult with…and they say, you realize this is a monopoly? That’s what happened in 2020. I say, okay. I say, oh, I’m sorry…oh, this is just an imaginary conversation. I’m supposed to be starting a sleep podcast. So, whatever is keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off that.
What I’m gonna do is…I got a safe place, Charminy soft or whatever. It’s pillowy soft. If you want it, if you want a firmer place or something, I got plenty of room. Also, despite what that…our facilities are stocked, by the way, in our safe place. So, whatever that baron said is just not accurate. But whatever it is, whatever’s keeping you awake, I got a safe place here for you to rest, for you to catch your breath and to start to wind down. The way I’m gonna do it is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones. That’s right, my dulcets are creaky. That’s ‘dulcet’. I have no idea…it’s D-U-L-C-E-T maybe. Creaky like a door, dulcet like a shiny bauble, like the audio version of that.
Creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders…that’s where I go…you’ve seen a few…you’ve seen one of those, and superfluous tangents. That’s when I’ll talk…somehow I gotta talk about rumination. You think Roomy ruminated at all? I mean, would Roomy be…? I mean, I’m sure that that’s how Roomy found Roomy’s way to a more mindful place, is probably from a few decades of rumination. That’s just a guess, but…because you say, wait a second, this ruminate…I’m not cut out for ruminating. But I gotta get to these new listeners. So, I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep. There’s a lot of counterintuitive things about the show, so I just want to tell you about them right up front.
The first thing is this is a podcast you don’t really listen to. You just barely kinda listen, almost in a…not a totally passive way. Humor me, almost like…not like you would humor a friend. I guess…‘cause I gotta earn your trust, right? We can’t just become friends, obviously. You might be skeptical or doubtful. So, just humor me like you would someone…like, let’s say you were stopping…you just say, uh-huh, uh-huh. Like, that kinda stuff. That’s the kinda…you just barely listen, just like when you barely listen to people during the day. Let’s say you’re in line at a quick store, a quick shop, and you’re just getting a couple things and someone’s talking to you about something. You might just be…you might have other stuff on your mind or they might be talking daytime…they might be ruminating.
They might be expounding on something they’ve been ruminating about, and you might just try to be polite and say, uh-huh, uh-huh, okay. Oh, boy. Uh-huh. Yep, well, okay, I got my Twinkies. I gotta go now, thanks. So, for Sleep With Me, it’s just kinda like that, where you’re like, uh-huh, okay. Rumination, huh? Okay. Uh-huh, uh-huh. Just Varon…Baron von…Varon bon Scott. So, that’s the first thing, bare…you just kinda…this podcast is almost like sand running through your hands. The other thing is this podcast really doesn’t put you to sleep. There’s other podcasts out there that are kinda designed to put you to sleep.
This podcast is here to keep you company while you fall asleep, and the difference is that you don’t have to listen to me, but that…that’s why the shows are about an hour and also that I’m here twice a week, is so…I forgot. I literally forgot what I was talking about. You don’t have to…I don’t have to…oh, yeah, this doesn’t really put you to sleep. I just keep you company. I got mixed up in the middle of a sentence. So, that’s why the…I’m gonna be here to the very end. So, if you can’t sleep, I’ll be here to keep you company, but most of the time you just kinda fall asleep at your leisure. You just barely listen to me, and then the next thing you know, it’s the next day or tomorrow, ideally. So, no need to listen, no pressure to fall asleep. The other things to know if you’re new is the structure of the show.
The show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends of Mandabores. So, that’s the greeting so everybody knows they’re welcome, so you feel seen and invited in. Then there’s support for the audience, then there’s support for the show, like business, then there’s an intro. The intro runs somewhere around, I don’t know, minute five or six or seven to minute twenty-something, somewhere around twelve to eighteen to twenty minutes of introduction. The intro serves the purpose of keeping you company while you wind down. It could really throw people off, ‘cause normally introduction is just a minute or two. You say, well, here’s what the show is, this is what the show’s gonna be about, and this is what we’re gonna do.
What I found with Sleep With Me is that’s just a little too abrupt for a sleep podcast, because then suddenly, at least for me and for a lot of listeners in the early days, they said, well, then I’m supposed to fall asleep…then you started the story that I’m supposed to fall asleep to. That’s a little bit too much pressure. So, the intro grew over the years to what it is today, and that’s so that you can ease into bedtime. It’s kinda like bonus meanders. That’s…one day if we have a plush character related to the show…someone remind me to come up with a character named Bonus Meanders. Or maybe it’ll be like, T-Bonus Meanders, because maybe Bonus Meanders would be in a suit. T-Bonus Meanders, the…would be the…and Baron von Scott, I think they…maybe one day they’ll be in a story together.
But I forgot what I was…now I got T-Bonus Meanders running around in my brain. But so, the intro serves a purpose of easing you into bedtime or being part of your bedtime routine, ‘cause Sleep With Me is…for some people it does work very fast, but for most of us and the way the show is designed — it’s great if it works fast for you — is that it’s meant to ease you into bedtime, as…so, as part of your wind-down whether you’re in bed or you’re getting ready for bed, to give you some distance from the day. So, that’s why it goes on and on and on. You can skip it, though most people find after two or three tries that they really enjoy the intro. But yeah, two or three percent of listeners and a few thousand patrons enjoy just listening to the stories.
So, if you’re listening on this feed, you just start the show around twenty minutes or something. That won’t be exact, but that’ll get you close. So, that’s the intro, then there’s business between the intro and the story. That’s kinda the main place where podcasts have their business. That’s called the mid-roll even though it’s…it’s called the mid-roll even though it’s not in the middle of the show. It’s the first…it’s after the first quarter of the show. So, we get that done, then we start the bedtime story. Tonight it’ll be a recap of the Mandabore…Mandalorian, Mandaborian from Season 2, and, oh boy, will we be talking about Baby Oso and…some people may say this podcaster doesn’t know his Greef Kargus…he doesn’t know the difference between Greef Kargus and Reef Kargus. Also, it’s not Kargus.
I say, you’re right, and it’s not Greef or Reef. I’d say, well, they’re…it’s a family, okay? Just because you don’t know about the greater Kargus group and I do…that’s how I met T-Bone…whatever. What was that part of my brain? T-Bone Meanders? But so, you’re right, I don’t know my Greef Kargus from my Reef Kargus, though I may write some fanfiction now. You say, yeah. I’m the boring Kargus brother, not even an accountant for my brother’s…we were twins, not like those Solo twins, though. I always spent most of my time solo, at home. Greef…that’s Greef Kargus, I think. Or no, maybe Reef Kargus. But I love…I know I’ve never scuba dove, but I love reefs. So, yeah, that’s my hobby, is thinking about reefs. Oh, reefs…did I say reefs? I meant wreaths.
Anyway, so, then…so, that’s what we’ll talk about, the Mandalorian, in a very meandering and indirect way. I kinda get fixated and go off-topic and stuff. So then…and then there will be thank-yous at the end of the show. So, that’s the structure of the show. The reason I make the show is twofold. One, you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a place you could rest and get a good night’s sleep. You just deserve that. That’s just a fact, and it’s also a fact that if you get the sleep you need, your life’s gonna be better, and all of our lives are gonna be better. That’s like…that’s just the fact of the matter, and that’s important. That’s important to me, to be able to provide it if I can. Now, this podcast does not work for everybody, so hopefully it works for you.
Then the other reason I make the show is because I’ve been there. I just read a review from somebody that was a chronic insomniac that doesn’t sleep to the show and that’s just there listening for some company in the deep, dark night, and that’s why I make the podcast. I make it to put you to sleep but to keep you company when you can’t sleep, because I know that lonely, desperate feeling that happens in the middle of the night, and if I can take your mind off of that and keep you company and just tell you a goofy story or be silly…and then either I keep you company, maybe I make you barely giggle, or you fall asleep. That’s why I’m here. So, yeah, so those are those two things. I think that’s it for the stuff of the show. I was just thinking of rumination.
I mean, it’s not a bad word to say, though it feels heavy in the mouth. Rumination…I mean, I think because it’s got a heavy load to bear, and it’s so close to ‘ruination’. I don’t know if you just change a couple letters or what. Rumination is like…that one’s hard for a dyslexic to spell. ‘Ruin’ is R-U-I-N. Rumin…ramenation…is there a ramen place called Ramenation? Because there should be. I would presume there is somewhere. It’s almost a little bit hard to say. Ramenation. You’d have to think of some reason…you say, why is it called Ramenation? You say, well…and you say, okay, which…first of all, which nation is it in? Typical US…I’d say, okay, well, we have a globe with every…at least every continent, we have different ramens.
It’s Ramenation. That’s international; that’s not…oh, okay, so, right, we have to rethink this dining concept. Is it gonna be fast-casual? I don’t know. I never know what that means. We’ll be like the place where you go up and you order from the place. Well, that might just work with your concept, ‘cause you have the ramen already ready in the bowl. Okay, somebody patent this please. I own this idea, just so you know. Then you have the broths and then the toppings. Ramenation. Ramenation, where ramen is possible for dinner…you know, for a fast-casual meal.
Okay, so, anyway, that’s…so, I’m basically here just to keep you company if you’re ruminating. If you’re ruminating on ramenating or ruination or anything else, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff because you’re important and your sleep’s important. I appreciate you coming by. Like I said, not everybody…this show just doesn’t work for everybody, but usually when people come, they’re skeptical or doubtful, which is totally normal. So, alls I can say is give it a few tries and see how it goes and see if it works for you.
That’s what most reviewers say; it takes two or three tries to get used to his creaky, dulcet tones, his pointless meanders, the fact that you don’t listen to him, he doesn’t really put you to sleep, he just keeps you company…he does have to earn your trust in order to lose it. Also, the show’s structured…so, yeah. But eventually I started falling asleep no problem. So, just give it a few tries. See how it goes. If not, there’s a lot…you could go to sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou and check out other sleep podcasts and stuff out there. But I really appreciate you coming by. I work really hard, I yearn and I strive, and I really want to help you fall asleep. Here’s a couple of ways I’m able to do this for you free twice a week.
Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, things you’re thinking about on your mind, thoughts, feelings, so, anything coming up for you emotionally or physically, physical sensations, changes in time or temperature or routine, anything going on inside, outside, or nearby, in your vicinity, even…a lot of times it’s outside of my vicinity that’s keeping me up, but it could be something in your vicinity.
‘Vicinity’ is a weird word. I never…has vicinity ever come up? Is that even the…is that the correct word? Scoots, when you say it, it sounds like fincinity. I say, well, that sounds like a tangent we could go on later if I remember. Vicinity, right? Are you in my vicinity? Vis vorm vis…vis vos vis. I don’t know, is that…? Vicinity’s actually…I have no idea. It’s not a noun. Is that an adverb or an adjective? I think adjectives end in -ly, or adverbs do. One of them. Well, I’m in the vicinity of a new listener, so I want to get to them. Hey, if you’re new, welcome. If you’re a regular listener, welcome back. So good to see you, too. But for you new listeners, I did want to go over a few things before you get too confused. Believe me, you’re gonna get confused. So, a few things. First off, I just want to give you a warning and a heads up.
This podcast does not…not only does this podcast not work for everybody; even the people it works for…did I forget part of the intro? Did I say I’m gonna send my voice across…? I already went off topic. I think I went off topic before I even got to…through the right part of the intro. Sorry about that, new listener. I’ll be right back. What I’m gonna do…what I’m here to do…oh, I guess this is good. So, the podcast does not work for everybody, but even the people it works for, it…oh yeah, ‘cause I went off-topic about vicinity. So, I can get…I’ll get back to the intro. But yeah, not only does it not work for everybody, but for the people it works for, it takes two or three tries. So, that’s one thing to know.
The other thing to know is that…what I’m gonna try to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, like I said. The way I’m gonna do that is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents. So, basically, my voice isn’t super soothing. It’s more ignorable. They say, Scoots, you’re really…you’re the one person who could mix up…if they had a resume, you could think you were putting ‘ignoble’ down, but ignorable…where you’re…that would make sense. You say, well, what are your job skills? Well, I’m ignorable. I’m not kidding, actually. That is one of my primary skills, keeping a low…how would you describe…? Well, I keep a low…I like to keep a low profile. Okay. What was…?
Oh, sorry. But yeah, I’m in the middle of a podcast intro. I’ll have to come back to this interview. I guess I was in your vicinity, so I was…so, I’m here to keep you company as you drift off, is the main thing if you’re new. If you’re skeptical, doubtful, or you’re not sure this podcast is for you, like I said, kinda just see how it goes, and…as most reviewers and listeners I hear from say it takes two or three tries, ‘cause at first you might want to figure this podcast out or you might be waiting for it to get started. It already kinda has, and this is…you say, well, when are you gonna get to the bedtime story? I’d say, well, eventually we get there, but you might be asleep before I even get to the bedtime story. That’s kinda one of the secrets of how the podcast just bare…this podcast just barely works.
That what makes…you say, how come your podcast works so well? Well, ‘cause it kinda barely works. You say, I don’t understand. I say, yeah, neither do I. Neither do I. So, okay, what was…? I think I was trying to make a point in there, though. Oh, so if you’re new, yeah, just kinda look at this podcast like you would a cloud. Like, here’s a thing that…this…you know, for me, I overthink a lot. I have a lot of strong feelings. I tend to think in all-or-nothing patterns. A lot of times I feel pressure. I’m a people pleaser, right? I didn’t realize this ‘til just now, but even when you look at clouds, for people like us — maybe you can relate, maybe you can’t — looking at clouds with other people can feel pressure-laden, at least to me.
I’m not kidding. You say, well, what do you see up there? You say, oh boy, I better have the right…I better think of something good or this person’s gonna see right through me like I’m a cloud, and they’re gonna see a storm on the other…the storm that lives within me, and not one of those cool storms. I say, well, that’s a storm I’d rather not…so, then I would try to…then it becomes…it’s less about watching the clouds than trying…you say, whoa boy, I better see something cool. Well, I already told them I saw that…the smiley face, so I gotta think of something else other than castles or clouds.
Come on, come up with something…or profiles, or…so, I don’t know if you can relate to that, where you say, sometimes…so, this podcast is best like consuming…cloud-watching alone with no pressure, ‘cause sometimes it’s just me by myself and I get that same vibe going where my brain says can’t you see any…? I guess that’s the nana that lives within me. She says, well, don’t you see anything in the clouds? I say, well, clouds, and nice puffy…oh boy, what kind of imagination do you have? You don’t…you know, brilliant people see things in the clouds. I say, well, I was just looking at the clouds ‘cause they make me kinda feel good. Oh, so you’re just sitting around looking at clouds, not even practicing…? Oh boy, no wonder your imagination can’t see things in clouds.
If you don’t see things in clouds, how are you gonna see things in clouds? I say, okay, nana, you’re right once again. But I was just trying to enjoy…I was just being in the moment. Remember how yesterday you told me I could never be in the moment and then I started thinking, ‘Tomorrow I’m gonna try to be in the moment’ and you said, ‘oh boy, you just don’t get it’? But then I wrote it down. I said, go and look at some clouds if there are clouds to be looked at, and just look at clouds in the moment. So, am I doing it wrong? Oh boy. Well, you’re doing it wrong by saying that. Well, who says something like that about themselves? Okay nana, this is get…so, that’s my nana. Sorry about that. I didn’t know she would come in. That’s the nana that lives within me.
She’s one of my…you say, Scoots, what are the guiding principles that…? I say, well, there’s one of them. You just witnessed it. What belief…? This is true. You say, what belief system…? Well, the nana that lives within me. She’s one part of my belief system. This is not sarcasm. I have said this to a professional. I said, how come some…that’s part of my belief system, huh? They just nodded knowingly and they said, yep. Seven years in, we still got about…a lot of work to do, fifty minutes at a time. But so, yeah, let’s dial it back in here. But I’m here to help, really. That’s where my experience comes from, but I don’t know what I was talking about. The podcast doesn’t work for everybody…oh, just try to consume it like a cloud without the pressure stuff.
I’m here, and the reason you don’t need to feel any pressure…because I don’t expect you to perform. There’s no need. You don’t have to figure things out here. You don’t have to listen to me. This is the one podcast you don’t need to listen to, and even if you do, it’ll barely make any sense. So, even if I said, okay, I have a cloud machine and we’re gonna make clouds that are like trains for the next twenty minutes, you’d say, okay, well, interesting. Maybe that’s what tonight’s episode…I think that’s what tonight’s episode will be about. So, just kinda barely listen to me. I guess that’s what I was saying. So, this is the one podcast you don’t need to listen to.
If you do try to figure it out, maybe do that during the day, because it really…that’s the one thing that makes the podcast not work so much, if you say, well, when are you gonna get to the point? I say, well, if you listen to two or three episodes, you’ll realize…or when’s this podcast gonna get…put me to sleep? I say, well, that’s the other point I like to make, is that this isn’t really a podcast to put you to sleep. I’m the companion at your bedside or in your vicinity, your general vicinity, even, that’s here to just keep you company as you drift off. I don’t so much put you to sleep as escort you while you drift off into dreamland. I just take your mind off of stuff. So, that’s kind of counterintuitive; this is a podcast you don’t need to listen to and it’s a podcast to put you to sleep that doesn’t really put you to sleep.
It just keeps you company. But it’s true. I’m really applying…here’s the thing, I respect your vicinity even though I love saying that word. This is a strange thing to say, but has there ever been a St. Vicinity? That’s hard to say. Or like, has there ever been a superhero called Vicinity? That would be handy, actually. Say, well, she’s right here. She’s right…she’s always in the vicinity. That’s her power. I mean, it sounds very tiring. Maybe she could have…maybe she could be one of the superheroes that has…what are those things called? Franchises. She said, well, just…I’m not in…that’s, whatever, Franchise 27BCQ. She’ll be there right away. She’s probably in your vicinity unless…oh wait, they’re not open today. That’s Vicinity, the hero that’s always nearby. That’s Vicinity, the heroine that’s always nearby.
You say, well, what’s her powers? Well, she’s always nearby, so she comes and helps in whatever way she can. Oh, makes sense. Yeah, it’s great. So, anyway, where were we? I was…oh, so if you’re new, don’t try to…oh yeah, I’m here to kind of apply to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie, your bore-sib, your bore-bruh, whatever…wherever…if you’re on the beach, that’s what I could be. But whatever it is, I’m here to help. So, those are two things. The other thing that can throw new people off is the structure of the show, which kinda makes sense once I over-explain it. So, the show starts off with a greeting; ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, so everyone knows they’re welcome here and I’m striving to create a safe place for everyone. Then there’s business.
That’s what keeps the show coming out twice a week. There’s about four or six minutes of business or something. Then there’s the intro. The intro is about twelve to twenty minutes of me trying to explain what the podcast is to a new listener, which could kind of seem like it doesn’t make any sense. You talk about the structure of the podcast and introduce it for twenty minutes? I say, yeah, ‘cause it also serves a purpose for the regular listener. It’s reassuring, ‘cause you say, okay, there’s that intro where Scoots never gets to the point, but he tries and then he gets fixated on a word like ‘vicinity’ or he gets a call…then he goes in for a job…imaginary job interview, then he gets interrupted by his internal nana, then he has to explain what an internal nana is, then he tries to go back…so, it’s reassuring.
It’s different every time. The reason it’s different every time is because in my experience, some of the stuff that keeps me up adapts, so I have to kinda keep changing things up so that it doesn’t…your thinking part of your brain doesn’t turn back on and say, well, let me think about that stuff again. I guess it’s like that song, One Step Ahead of My Nana…One Step Ahead of My Internal Nana. That wasn’t in the Aladdin musical, but it could be. You know, One Jump Ahead of My Internal Nana Who Predicts…but so, that’s…what was I…? Oh, that’s what the…so, the intro is reassuring. It’s different every time, but for the regular listener, it’s also part of a regular listener’s wind-down routine.
So, some people start it while they’re getting ready for bed, other people start it while they’re in bed getting comfortable, and it just gives you a chance to slowly unwind, and then the bedtime story starts, so that as you’re getting cozy and comfortable, you say…you might already be asleep. So, this is the one podcast…you could sleep through it and maybe it’s still working, or you could set a sleep timer or you could start playing it before you get in bed, or some people listen all night, or there’s two percent of people that start the show at twenty minutes and then they listen from there. So, there’s no wrong way to listen to it. So, that’s the intro. Then there’s business that keeps the show coming out twice a week, then there’s a bedtime story, and then there’s the thank-yous and goodnights.
So, that’s how the podcast is structured, and then what else do you think…? I don’t think there’s anything else you need to know. I mean, this…the reason I make the show is because you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a place of respite where you don’t dread bedtime. If I can provide that for you, it would be my honor. The reason it would be my honor is, one, because you deserve it and the world will be a better place if you’re in a place to flourish and feel, you know, rested, but also because I’ve been there, tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep. Yeah, I’ve been there, all those places, and I know how it feels, especially…you say, well, it’s 3:30. I don’t really feel like having a chat with my internal nana. So if I can interrupt that or make bedtime less of a rigmarole or give you something to look forward to or at least take the dread out of bedtime, then I’m doing my job. Now, the flip side is just naturally, I’m not everybody’s cup of tea.
So, it doesn’t work for everybody, but we do have a lot of regular listeners who say, hey, it took two or three tries, then I realized the podcast will never make any sense, and that’s when I loved it, because I don’t have to listen, I don’t have to…Scoots is in my vicinity, but I don’t have to placate him by pretending that I’m aware that he’s…you know, I say, oh yeah…I don’t have to interpret clouds for anybody anymore. No one ever said that on a t-shirt about the podcast, but, you know, I just said it. Nana, I don’t have to interpret my clouds for anyone anymore. She says, I don’t think that made…I said, anyway, so that’s why I’m here. It’s really my honor to help, like I said. I work very hard. I yearn and I strive. I appreciate you coming by, and here’s a couple of ways we’re able to bring this podcast twice a week.
Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you can set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, things you’re thinking about, things on your mind, so, thoughts, feelings, it could be feelings you’re feeling, like emotions that are coming up for you, it could be thought…so, it could be feelings about those thoughts, about the past, present, or future, it could be more immediate, it could be physical sensations, it could be changes in routine or time or temperature.
By the way, temperature, what’s your issue? Or light, that light. Maybe I could talk about that. I got a little…I could use…Nancy Drew, if you’re listening…actually, don’t come and help, ‘cause it would have to be when the lights are off, and then I would say, that’s not…who’s in my room? Well, it’s Nancy Drew. You called me to help you, and you said the lights would have to be off, ‘cause your mystery involved the lights being off, which you should explain to listeners probably after you get through this intro or in the middle of it. Nancy Drew, do you have any idea how many names…how many times I’ve had to invoke your name in podcast intros? Probably twenty, thirty times. Nancy Drew, did you just say ‘harrumph’ because I hadn’t done it like, ten…like ninety times?
That would be more respectful, you’re right, if it was one-tenth of my intros. Scooter’s the only person that has a non-Nancy Drew podcast that’s evoked her name. Five percent…I mean, we’re not at five percent. I’m sorry, Nancy Drew. I know I can say this with somewhat likelihood; I’ve probably evoked your name more than Agatha Christie, so…and definitely thousands…I’ve probably evoked the name of the Hardy Boys like, once, and it was only in relation to you. So, there’s that. Well, she just asked who I said…Fancy Nancy or Nancy Drew? There’s an idea. Talk about a mashup made in heaven or made in mystery, Fancy Nancy Drew. That sounds like a doll I would play with, and it has my name in it, too.
Maybe that…again, I usually…I used to go…when I would check into hotels and I’d say, could you…what’s the name…room…what’s the name? Well, I’d like…if anyone calls for me, it’s Noir Chardonnay. But now I’ll go by Fancy…if you call…if you want to call hotels…don’t do this really, but…‘cause I wouldn’t answer. Plus, I’m not sure…if my hotel phone rings, I’m not answering it, just a FYI, even if you work at a hotel. They say, well, the compliments of the chef…our double-dessert platter’s coming up. I would probably miss it, ‘cause I’d say, why is my hotel phone ringing? I can’t possibly…that’s one of the things that would keep me up at night, because then I would wait for the voicemail light to blink. Oh, what’s going on? Oh, so this…welcome to Sleep With Me.
So, whatever’s keeping you awake, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, I’d like to take your mind off of that. What I’m gonna do is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna try to create a safe place using lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, which you’ve seen a few already, all to keep you company while you fall asleep, which can be…if you’re new, let me give you some information, because this podcast can definitely throw you off. Now, if anyone listening from any of those…anyone…I don’t think…does…Fancy Nancy is still with us, and Nancy Drew…no, there’s been a few new Nancy Drews. New Nancy Drew movie…how about one of those big streaming platforms?
I mean, you could give me some…I mean, I’m sure none of the people involved would want…they’d say…with the sleep podcast guy. Yeah, he’s proposed…what about if just we do…I know there’s been other Halloween-themed…I have one of the Fancy Nancy Halloween books in my personal collection, but…I mean, I’m not kidding, either. But what if one year…? It could just be a Halloween special with a mystery. I mean, this is totally…this is a reasonable proposal, Fancy Nancy Drew. That’s what she’s going as for Halloween, but then there’s Fancy Nancy Drew and the Halloween Mystery. Or it could be…this is not meant to minimize anything, but it could be a look-back at 2020. Now, I’m recording this in the first week of October.
You’re probably hearing this in 2021, which is interesting, but it could be that it’s Fancy Nancy’s look-back, you know. She says, well, that was the year we changed what Halloween meant, but I don’t know. You know more than I do in the future. Okay, but anyway, sorry, new listeners. So, a couple things you need to know. I go off topic a lot, but I’m really here to keep you company, and that can get on people’s nerves or…at first. I’ll just say it strongly, because that’s what a lot of regular listeners…I just read a review from someone, a five-star review. She said that she listened to the podcast a ton…or her friends had kept recommending and recommending the podcast, and she said, no, no, no, that sounds so annoying. Then she first listened and said it was doubtful, and then it started working.
So, if you’re feeling annoyed or skeptical or doubtful, that’s totally normal because that’s a reasonable way to react to a podcast that’s different, strange, goofy, and at least initially doesn’t feel very sleepy. You say, when is this sleep stuff gonna start? I say, well, it kinda started already, but let’s…let me tell you a little bit more. One thing is this is not a podcast you really listen to and pay attention. You can listen to it, but you don’t need to pay attention. You say…this is the only podcast where you say, well, when did Scoots start dialing it in? He said, no, no, Scoots…they said his podcast went on forever ‘cause he asks the listeners to dial it in. ‘Dial it in’ is like…is that a truism for not really giving full effort? I think it has to do with dial phones. I don’t even know where it comes from, but it means not giving full effort.
You say, well, I’ve been doing this a while. This one, the listeners get to dial it in. You turn on the podcast…actually maybe what the dial it in metaphor is…and you just kinda put the phone next to your bed and you don’t really…I just talk and you don’t have to listen or even put the phone near you. You just say…I mean, how great is that? You say…if you propose that to a regular person…unless…they would do it once. I think most friends or romantic relationships or siblings or, you know, certain other relationships would say, yeah, I’ll do that, but not every single…not twice. Maybe twice if it’s romantic…I say, well, this…I’m courting you, so…yeah. But then at some point you’re gonna say, well, I got…I can’t talk to you…say, there’s a podcast for that. You don’t have to…I don’t have to dial it in, and neither do you.
You just call this Scooter up and he talks, and it doesn’t really…he just goes on and on and on. So, that’s one way to listen. Or, yeah, that’s kinda how you listen. You just don’t really pay attention. You just dial it in. Usually dialing it in means the work going into the show. This means the work going into listening. You don’t really have to pay attention, was the short way of saying that. There’s also no pressure to fall asleep. The reason the episodes are about an hour is to give you plenty of time to drift off. I’m more here to keep you company, to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie, your bore-sib, your…someone…oh wait, I’ll come back…so, whatever it is, I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep.
But even if you can’t fall asleep, I’m gonna be here, but that’s why the shows just go on and on and on, is you just fall off at your leisure. Couple other things to know if you’re new…one, give the show a few tries. That’s what most reviewers and regular listeners say. Like I said, they said, well at first, this show doesn’t make any sense. It goes on and on and on, never gets started, then doesn’t go anywhere, and it doesn’t make any sense. But then I realize…oh, perfect, that’s exactly what I’ve been looking for. Or you might say, I don’t know about these creaky, dulcet tones and pointless meanders. I say, well, let…give it a few tries. See if it grows on you. I hope it can help you. Other things to know structurally…this is where the most strong feelings come out, and I guess understandably.
This podcast does not follow any sort of podcast structure or normal structure because it’s a podcast to put you to sleep, but also because it’s this podcast to put you to sleep. There’s other sleep audio since I’ve been doing the show, more and more, and those shows have different structures, too. Now, the reason this show has the structure it does is because, one…oh…or, let me tell you. It starts off with a greeting; ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, ‘cause that’s important so that you know you’re welcome and you know you feel seen, or…I can’t tell you how you feel, right? You know that my intention is to create a welcome place where you’re seen. Then there’s business.
The reason there’s business and Supporter Zones and that kind of stuff is so I can bring you this podcast for free twice a week versus as a part of a corporate…behind the pay wall, ad-supported. Then there’s an intro. The intro goes from about minute six or eight to minute twenty, twenty-two, twenty-five, eighteen, somewhere in there. The intro is me just going on and on and on like I’m doing so far, and it’s like I’m setting up or arranging the safe place, ‘cause I kinda explain to the new listeners what the podcast is. I get distracted about that mystery at night and Fancy Nancy and Nancy Drew. Sometimes I pitch movies or books and those kind of things, and then I go back and I say, okay…so, for a new listener, it kinda explains what the podcast is and gives you examples at the exact same time.
But if you become a regular listener, what the pod…intro does is it eases you into bedtime. It gives you a long runway to get some distance from the day so that you can fall asleep, because for most of us, we just can’t…this podcast, I just can’t count down or just go right into something. That’s what makes this podcast different. It gives you some time. So, some regular listeners, they start the show before they get into bed, as they’re getting ready for bed. Maybe they’re…maybe they listen in multiple rooms, on the couch while they’re doing something relaxing, then they get in bed. Some people are getting ready for bed physically, brushing their teeth, doing skincare, doing self-massage, foam-rolling. Some people are in bed getting comfortable, some people are in bed drifting off.
So, there’s a lot of different ways, as you become a regular listener, to kind of adjust to using the show. Two percent of listeners skip the intro. Some people consume story-only episodes that are one of the many things we offer on Patreon. So, you could kinda see how it goes as you become…and some people change it up. People are listening more and more during the day when they need a break or they need to relax or…they just really want something to listen to that they don’t have to pay attention to if they’re coding or doing physical labor or doing something else where they say, I just need something that kinda distracts me a little bit from the work at hand. So, that’s another option. So, just kinda see how it goes. So, that’s the intro. Then there’s business between the intro and the show.
You could always find that business also at our website, but it’s…the way podcast business is structured, it has to be there, and that keeps the show free. Then there’s our story. Tonight it’ll be a board game unboxing where I take a look at a board game from actually one of my heroes, John August. That’ll be fun. Then there’s some thank-yous at the end. So, that’s the structure of the show. What else do you need to know? Structure of the show…oh, no need to pay…oh, why do I make the show? Because you deserve a good night’s sleep. That’s why I make the show. You deserve a place where you can get some rest. If you’re like me or a lot of the other listeners, you’ve probably tried a lot of different stuff, right, and it’s been very frustrating. It can feel very…bedtime could be a thing you don’t look forward to, right?
You can have strong feelings. I mean, I get lonely, you know, when I’m tossing and turning. I get ‘why me’, all that kind of stuff. That’s not…I don’t want to say unfair, but it’s not pleasant. I think you deserve a nice, safe place where you can get relaxed and fall asleep. Maybe this podcast is what does it for you or becomes part of your routine with other stuff that does it for you, and maybe not. I hope it does. But whether this podcast works for you…or you could look at sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. Whatever work…ends up working for you, remember, you deserve a good night’s sleep, and on top of that, our world will be a better place if you get the rest you deserve and need, because you’ll be living your life more fully.
So, that’s what’s important, and the other side of it is, like I kinda said, I’ve been there. I know how it feels, and I don’t…if I can help, it really gives my life purpose…and my strange skill set. So, that’s why I make the show. Just to close it out…yeah, so, I have this mystery right now. So, one of the things I keep in my room or close by is gaffer tape to cover up LED lights. I know they have sticker sets that I’ve seen, and I’ve bought those. No offence to the companies that make those, but they don’t…gaffer tape…you could cover an LED and it won’t…you don’t gotta worry about it. So, I do that regularly, and so…but the last few nights I’ve been noticing…and I have added a new power strip that I thought I covered all the lights on and I think something else, like a mouse or something.
Then every night after I go to bed, I see these blue lights against the wall and I say, well, I gotta do something about those, but not right now. Then, so, last night before I got ready for bed, I was like, I gotta do something about them. I couldn’t find them. I mean, I was right in the corner where my desk is and they didn’t exist until, of course, I got…they appear when I turn out the lights and press Play. So, Nancy Drew or Fancy Nancy Drew, if you’re listening, that could be an easy case. That could be…before the book, that could be the bonus content or in a…what about…what do you think about taking out…does Scholastic take ads? I don’t think they do. But if they did…or like, Free Comic Book Day…you say, don’t forget…don’t miss out. October 29th, 2021, the Fancy Nancy Drew Halloween Holiday Mystery.
But today on Free Comic Book Day, we have a two-pager from Fancy Nancy Drew and the Blue Light Specials, or something. Maybe the LED lights sing, and they really need to find their way back home. I don’t know. But anyway, that’s what’s up with me at night. So, that’s why I want to help. Oh, boy. Saying it out loud just makes it…and I really…I’m really…I’ve kind of like…okay, well, at least they’re blue and they’re not full strength. Even though blue light — they say to avoid it — it’s not as intrusive as green or red light when it’s on a wall or a brighter light…it’s like one of those deep blues, and it may be covered. I don’t know. So, anyway, if…again…and, you know, I’m close to…I’m just resigned to it right now, Fancy Nancy Drew, so if you hear me…also, I just love saying that. So, anyway, I hope you’re listening.
But you, dear listener, I hope I can help you fall asleep. Thank you so much for checking the show out. Please give it a few tries, ‘cause you deserve it. It doesn’t really benefit me because…actually, it doesn’t…actually, believe it or not, when I say ‘give it a few tries’, a part of me goes and lies down curled up in a ball, because when I say that, then some people do that and then they say…they don’t like the show and they have to let me know about it vocally. But it’s still what really works. So, it’s…you’re worth it. You’re worth me getting that e-mail if you give it a few tries and it works for you, because I don’t benefit either way.
I benefit maybe from the long-term listeners and the relationship we have. Right, long-term listeners? I mean, the long-term listeners know my confused adoration of Fancy Nancy and Thea Stilton, Geronimo Stilton…‘cause they say Scoots, none of those…none of them actually look into mysteries. I say, you’re sure? You say, I don’t…and they say no, no, no, one of them does. I say…one time someone said, there’s no such thing as Thea Stilton. Oh, that was it, a cheesemonger, actually. I thought I was…I didn’t actually…I said, do you have any Thea Stilton? They looked at me distastefully, scornfully, a cheesemonger’s scorn.
That’s when I ended up writing that book, Thea Stilton and the Case of the Cheesemonger’s Scorn. That book’s not available at all ‘cause I haven’t…actually, I only wrote the title, but…and they said, don’t write it, ‘cause they have a direct line to my brain. I can’t think of…I’m sorry, whoever the author is, but I’ll actually donate some money — I’m not even kidding — as long as you’re not out there in a negative way. If you support positive causes that support dignity and respect and those kind of things, I’ll support one of your causes. But also, their estate always lets me know.
They say, we heard you were thinking about Thea Stilton and the Case of the Scornful Cheesemongerer. I said, incorrect; The Case of the Cheesemongerer’s Scorn. I was like, you don’t want to hear about it? I picture a thorny bush on the cover. They say, just forget about it. I say, well, don’t…I said, if there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s proposing ideas and forgetting about them. That’s what I’m really here to do, is help you forget about the day, just for a little while. So, thanks again for coming by. I’m really glad you’re here. I really hope. I yearn and I strive. I work very hard ‘cause I want to help you fall asleep. Here’s a couple of ways I’m able to bring you this show twice a week.
Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever is keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts you’re thinking about that might be on your mind from the past or the present or the future, or you’re just thinking…it could be wandering thoughts. Maybe that’s something I’ve never talked about, the old thought…wandering thoughts and the thought-wanderer.
Could be feelings or emotions coming up related to the thoughts or that are just there or that are layovers from the day or the distant past. All that comes up for me. Also physical sensations could be keeping you awake, or it could be other stuff. It could be changes in routine or time, temperature, stuff out of your control. I mean in some sense you say, well, most of it’s out of my control. It could be remote…what if it’s a remote-control car? What if there was a miniature remote control car — this would keep me up at night — that somehow gained…it could plug itself in…it found…it’s like it has a miniature Roomba dock where it can recharge itself. You don’t know where the Roomba dock is, so you can’t unplug it. I’m thinking like a micro-machine, and it only activates at night. That would keep me up.
You say, is that that micro…is that my imagination or is that a semi-sentient micro-machine? A micro-machine…oh, that’s another thing. Sorry, I’m off topic early but…so, once upon a time, kids played with these cars. They were called diecast cars, and I have no idea when they were invented. Could be anywhere from 1930 to 1970. When I came around, the biggest brand…there was a couple of competitors, but the biggest brand was called Hot Wheels. I had a few Hot Wheels. I think a couple of my younger siblings even had the Hot Wheels…they had play sets, as we’ve heard about. I was more into chillaxing figures and action figures than cars, because it led to the podcast. Otherwise I’d be on Car Talk 2.0 or something.
But so, at some point in the eighties I think, somebody said, hm, these Hot Wheels are really hot stuff, man. They’ve been around…Scooter doesn’t know when…they’ve been around for decades, possibly, and we’ve…this was at one of those big toy conglomerates. They said, I need ideas. You know, the person with the…they said, see? Give me your best ideas. Put the Hot Wheels out of business. ‘Cause, no offense to Hot Wheels’ competitors…usually the competitors of Hot Wheels you would get at the drug store, which in Syracuse was Fay’s, which didn’t just…didn’t…now there’s…it didn’t just have prescription stuff. It was a bit like a grocery store, which now they’ve become again. There’s just two or three companies that run all those now.
But you would go there to get your low-grade electronics and toys as well as other things. So, they had the competitors…they probably had Hot Wheels, but they were way overpriced. I think the Hot…the other…these are toy cars. Yes, I’m still talking about it. But so, they had a meeting, this one toy conglomerate. I’m imagining this. This is not a history podcast. But they said, give me some ideas. Somebody in the back, she said, what if we make the car…what if we take the Hot Wheel cars, get rid of the metal, and make them much, much smaller? At first, probably this person was…anymore…then we said, wait a second, go back. You sounded like you had facts to back up your…well, this is the cost savings, this is the packaging savings, this is a unique marketing idea.
Also, there’s this person we know who has the world record for talking fast. We could get them to do the commercials, and they’d take up less space. So, it’s a very unique USP or whatever, unique selling proposition, micro-machines. People love…haven’t you seen any of those shows? They have shrink rays. That’s one of the big themes on sci-fi adventure series. These kids would have their own shrink ray. I say, okay, let’s do it. Also, what does this have to do with a sleep podcast, and how did you start talking about it? I have no idea. I think I was talking about some…I think I thought I was gonna talk about something about…I had another phrase that I was gonna use, and then, yeah, I don’t know how I started…I think I was trying to make a point.
Physical sense…oh, changes in time or temperature, wandering thoughts…I think I just went into a wandering thought and got lost. But whatever’s keeping you awake, I’d like to…I have no idea. So, I was talking about wandering thoughts that just come up, other things that could change your…oh, a sentient micro-machine, but that was a remote…so, I was trying to explain what a micro-machine was. So, that’s what a micro-machine is. Then a remote control car, most people are familiar with that concept, but just in case, it’s a car, a toy car, and you have a remote control and you can move it around and control it…varying degrees of quality and control. This particular car is a fictional invention, but it’s very small like the micro-machines were. Also, somehow it can recharge itself and it doesn’t have a controller.
Unfortunately, it’s nocturnal and it’s hidden. I don’t know why. These things just pop in my brain and…but I was…I guess my point was that could keep you awake at night if it just…you say, is that thing living under my bed? Your partner or spouse would say, well, technically, it’s not living. It’s a sentient toy. You say, don’t bother…don’t quibble with me right now. Trying to go to sleep, and I got some sort of…and I don’t want to start wandering around and step on it, because then it would be like stepping on a Lego. Also, could this ever be a movie? Is anybody from any of those big…? We could put this out in October 2021, 2022, The Miniature Sentient Car. I mean, we’ll figure out another name for it, but that’s for a sleep podcast.
But whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s sentient micro-machines or…I mean, not even…it’s not fully sentient. It’s just found a way to power itself. Now, there could be a whole narrative. Pixar, you could find me, too. We could have a whole narrative of what the car’s doing at night. It’s obviously searching for something. Probably has an emotional need as well. Once…is there any Toy Story scheduled direct-to-streaming? Well, I guess direct-to-streaming now is…I’d say, well, we’re putting that out on the movie theatre. It’s like, five years from…I’m kidding. I love going to the movies. But it used to be if you went direct-to-video, that was the downside.
So, if Pixar was gonna put out a Toy Story direct-to-video, like Toy Story 12: The Sentient Micro…The Little Micro-Machine That Did Keep Me Up At Night…oh boy, that’s an early tangent. Regular listeners, you’re celebrating that. New listeners, you’re probably confused, which is a natural way to get to this show. Or, well, you get confused once you start listening. So, here’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna try to keep you company while you fall asleep. I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents, which we just got through, about eight minutes of them, all to keep you company while you drift off.
That’s the kinda…I can’t patent the mix of Sleep With Me, unfortunately, but that’s what we do here, is…and it can be surprising. A few things…this is a podcast you don’t really listen to. You just kinda passively consume it. Another person in another situation on another alternative world or a alternate dimension, another person, another adult, is living in a home with a sentient micro-machine. We’re just using that word. I realize it’s not a sentient micro-machine. But they find it barely distracting and they just listen to it while it drives around, and they fall asleep to it, so that’s another…so, that’s a refreshing thing to know. Oh, there’s an alternative…and of course, the partner would say that.
Dear, did you know there’s an alternative universe where you find a remote-control car driving around our home in the middle of the night comforting? I say, okay, go sleep in the guest room, please. Take your quibbling. So…oh, so, this is a podcast you don’t really listen to. Just kind of loosely consume it, just like that person in the alternative universe is just kinda barely paying attention. I don’t know, a bit like a fan or something or some other comforting sound that you’ve developed a comforting relationship with. Hopefully you’ll learn not to listen to me so much you’ll…we’ll have a comforting…I can comfort you or keep you company. So, that’s the first part of the podcast that throws people off, is like, wait a second, I don’t really…you don’t really tell me a story and put me to sleep? I say, well, no.
I kind of keep talking about stuff and then I go off topic, and you stop…you barely listen to me. Also, I don’t really put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company while you drift off. That’s why the episodes are over an hour, because you could drift off at your leisure. But there’s also some reassurance there that if you can’t sleep, I’m gonna be here for you. My job is to keep you company whether you’re listening or not. I don’t know…if we could get a interview of that micro-machine…I’m sure I’m gonna be hearing from them. They say, oh, you think you…you think you can laugh at the toy conglomerates now? I’d say, well, that was the most promote…no offense, but I’m sure eBay…I don’t know, are you still in…no offense, are you still in business?
‘Cause I haven’t heard…I mean…I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be…that wasn’t nice of me to say that, Mr. Micro-Machine, Mr. Toy Baron. I’m sorry. I was just having a laugh at your expense, ‘cause I just haven’t heard anybody other than me…I’m just saying that I was giving you some…I was doing some speculative micro-machine fiction, I guess, and other than…I’m sure there’s a sub-genre of erotica that’s micro-machine-related that’s probably got a very strong niche community, and that’s a beautiful thing, too, but this is different, so…oh, and also, I’m trying to do a sleep podcast and I got sub-genred. I sub-genred myself. So, anyway, a podcast you don’t really listen to, it doesn’t really put you to sleep…I’m just here for you. It does take some getting used to. It’s a very common theme among our regular listeners.
They say give it two or three tries. That’s how long it takes for most people to get used to this podcast. When I say ‘get used to it’, it means you just…you mostly stop listening to it or stop paying attention to it. So, those are the first three things to know, but I’m here for you to keep you company while you fall asleep. Also, the structure of the show can really throw people off. Show starts off with a greeting so you feel seen and welcome; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Then there’s some listener support and then show sponsors; that’s how we keep the podcast coming out twice a week so you can listen to it for no cost, then there’s the intro. The intro’s around twelve…no, it’s around fifteen to twenty minutes, I guess.
Sometimes it’s…I don’t know when…the last time it was twelve minutes, ‘cause the listeners…it serves a purpose. That’s why it’s kinda grown to the fifteen-to-twenty-two-minute range. The purpose the intro serves is to give you some space between the daytime and the nighttime. It’s kind of like Audio Dusk. I think I’ve talked about that before, just like the sun doesn’t just drop out of the sky. How weird would that be? You say, it’s daytime? Now it’s nighttime. Nature doesn’t work that way. It took me 950-something episodes to figure that out. But the podcast does follow nature in that way, probably inspired by it, but I forgot about it. But yeah, that’s the truth. The sun doesn’t just drop out of the sky or pop up and say, yo, it’s day. Get up.
I mean, sometimes it feels that way, but the sun eases across the sky and below the horizon and then eases back up. Sleep With Me kinda does the same thing. It eases you into sleep and gives you some distance between your day life and your day concerns and being asleep, because for most of us, we’ve dealt with other stuff, all the stuff and all the advice that people give, and for me, none of it worked, or it worked once. What works is having a wind-down routine, and hopefully for regular listeners, Sleep With Me is part of that whether you’re winding down in bed with your eyes closed drifting off or you’re doing some other calming activity or you’re getting ready for bed or you’re listening during the day, or maybe you listen on your couch or in your guest room.
I mean, I’m just saying different bedtime routine stuff I’ve tried, like reading in another room and then going and getting in bed. So, I don’t know. Ideally, it’s part of your wind-down routine. Now, you could start the show at twenty minutes. About now, at this point, three percent of listeners or so do that. A few thousand people listen to story-only episodes, so there’s that option on Patreon. That’s on Patreon. Then everyone else, they kinda just slowly wind down. So, that’s the intro, then there’s some sponsors. Again, that’s how this show’s free, and then there’s our discussion of the Mandabore…Mandaborian. That’s me on the show…the program The Mandalorian. I’ll run through an episode about a Jedi, and then there’s thank-yous. So, that’s the structure of the show.
We kinda talked about the other stuff that could throw you off…totally understandable if you’re skeptical or doubtful or you even dislike me or the show. I have a website, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, for people that definitely don’t like the podcast. But give it a few tries, because I’m just here to help. The reason I make the show is twofold. One, I’ve been there in the deep, dark night tossing, turning, mind racing, waking up too early, waking up in the middle, all of it. I’ve been there and I know how it feels. I know how it feels emotionally and I know how it feels physically and I know how it feels mentally, not just in the deep, dark night but on the day after and the day after that.
So, if I can help any way I can, that bedtime dread, to make bedtime something you feel neutral about…or ideally Sleep With Me becomes part of a bedtime routine for you that you look forward to. Just like me when I’m reading a good book, I really look forward to bedtime, and I say, can’t wait to get in bed, pull up my weighted comforter and all that stuff and get in my sheets and snuggle in. Or if I’m trying something…well, I’m gonna read on the couch or the deck for a little while, then I’m gonna get in bed and then just go to sleep. So, hopefully Sleep With Me becomes something…even if you don’t look forward to it…I mean, I’m going for just pure…you say, well, I kinda feel…I used to dread bedtime. Now I kinda feel…I’m not sure if Scoots is using this word the correct way, ambivalent, but I say, NBD man, no big deal.
I got Scoots to bare…that I can barely listen to at bedtime. The other reason I make the show is because…it’s more important…that’s you. You deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a place you can rest, and I hope this podcast can provide that for you or you find another sleep podcast or sleep audio solution or maybe just create your own bedtime routine and that works for you, or you listen to the podcast…Sleep With Me…some people are having a tough time. They listen to Sleep With Me and they get through it, and then they’re sleeping sound. That’s great, graduating from the podcast. So, whatever it is, I’m glad you’re here. I really hope I can help, so give it a few tries. I work really hard, I yearn and I strive, and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple of ways I’m able to bring you this show for free twice a week.
[END OF RECORDING]
(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)
-
All Intros
Rumi
https://www.dailysabah.com/opinion/op-ed/remembering-rumi-how-he-inspired-the-east-and-the-west
https://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/the-erasure-of-islam-from-the-poetry-of-rumi
https://people.howstuffworks.com/rumi.htm
Franchising
https://www.franchise.org/blog/the-history-of-modern-franchising
https://franchisecreator.com/introduction-to-the-history-of-franchising/
https://www.spadealaw.com/resources/what-history-franchising-united-states
Hotel Aliases
https://www.travelandleisure.com/travel-tips/celebrity-travel/fake-names-celebrities-use
https://www.businessinsider.com/fake-names-celebrities-use-2017-6
https://www.avclub.com/sony-hackers-reveal-the-silly-fake-names-celebrities-us-1798274722
Hot Wheels
https://www.motortrend.com/features/hot-wheels-history-toy-cars/
https://www.museumofplay.org/toys/hot-wheels/
DOWN TO BUSINESS
Friends of the man that bores
PLUGS
Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline; Referral Program
SPONSORS
Intuit TurboTax; Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Lumen; Uncommon Goods; Acorns
INTRO
- 939
- When was the last time I talked about rumination?
- Ruminate on Rumination
- Sometimes I experience feelings and sometimes I don’t
- Industrialists don’t want me to talk about the 5th shift
- Baron von Scott, the TP Baron
- I’m making a place for you that’s Charmin-y soft
- My Dulcets are Creaky
- Did Rumi ruminate?
- Expounding on a ruminated topic
- The intro has grown and morphed over time
- T. Bonus Meanders, the SWM Plush
- Now I’ve got T. Bonus Meanders running around in my brain
- My midroll is not in the middle
- The Mandaborian
- I don’t know my Greef Kargus from my Reef Kargus
- The Greater Kargus Group
- I’ve never scuba dove, but I love reefs
- Rumination feels heavy in the mouth
- Ramenation, the Ramen shop
- Ramenation: Where Ramen is possible
STORY
-
- 940
- Man, vicinity is a weird word
- Vinsinity
- Scoots, you’re the only person who prides themself on being ignorable and ignoble
- My podcast works so well because it barely works
- Look at it like you’d look at a cloud
- I tend to think in all or nothing patterns
- Looking at clouds with other people can feel pressure laden
- The Storm That Lives Within Me
- The Nana that Lives Within Me
- Let’s make some clouds that look like trains
- Has there ever been a St. Vicinity
- Vicinity, the superhero who’s always nearby
- Maybe that superhero should franchise out
- One step ahead of my internal nana
- You deserve a good night’s sleep
- Nana, I don’t have to interpret my clouds for anyone anymore
- 941
- Nancy Drew, solve the mystery of why my lights are off
- Nancy Drew, I’ve definitely invoked your name more than Agatha Christie and the Hardy Boys
- I would never answer my hotel phone
- Fancy Nancy Drew sounds right up my alley
- My hotel alias: Noir Chardonnay
- Why isn’t Nancy Drew rebooted more often?
- I have the Fancy Nancy halloween book in my personal collection
- Fancy Nancy Drew and the Holiday Mystery
-
- When did Scoots start dialing it in?
- Is dialing it in giving more or less effort?
- Explaining the structure
- I want you to feel seen
- Most of us can’t do a sheep countdown
- Some people just need a little distraction
- Bored Game Unboxing from one of my heroes, John August
- I always have gaffer tape nearby to cover up LED lights
- But blue lights still peep through at night
- Fancy Nancy Drew, please help me solve this
- A bonus preview mystery
- Does Scholastic take out ads?
- Maybe for Free Comic Book Day
- Long Term Listeners are well familiar with my confused adoration
- There’s no such thing as Thea Stilton
- Thea Stilton & The Case of the Cheesemonger’s Scorn
- If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s proposing ideas and then forgetting about them
- 942
- Wandering Thoughts
- A miniature RC car that could plug itself in
- Miniature Roomba Dock
- Like a micro machine
- Semi-Sentient Micro Machine
- My siblings had Hot Wheels
- Going to the drugstore to get your low-grade electronics and toys
- This is not a history podcast
- Hot Wheels but smaller and less metal
- People love shrink rays
- RC Cars were of various qualities
- Unfortunately this imaginary car is nocturnal and living under your bed
- Could this be a movie?
- It’s not fully sentient
- Let’s emotionalize this like Pixar
- Direct to Video used to be bad, but Direct to Streaming isn’t the same
- An alternate universe where it’s comforting to have a RC car roam your home at night
- Interviews with a Micro Machine
- No offense, are you still in business?
- Speculative micro machine fiction
- I subgenred myself
- The intro really has a purpose
- Audio Dusk
- How weird would it be if the sun just immediately dropped out of the sky?
- The podcast follows nature
- Mandaborian
- I know how it feels
- Bedtime Ambivalence
SUMMARY:
Episode: 1314
Title: Fancy Nancy Drew | All Intros 939 – 942
Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline; Referral Program
Sponsors: Intuit TurboTax; Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Lumen; Uncommon Goods; Acorns
Notable Language:
- 939
- Rumination
- D-U-L-C-E-T
- The Greater Kargus Group
- T. Bonus Meanders
- Ramenation
- 940
- Vicinity
- Vinsinity
- The Storm That Lives Within Me
- 941
- Harumph
- Fancy Nancy Drew
- Noir Chardonnay
- Dial It In
- Cheesemonger’s Scorn
- 942
- Wandering Thoughts
- Miniature Roomba Dock
- Semi-Sentient Micro Machine
- Chillaxin’ Figures
- Speculative micro machine fiction
- Ambivalent
Notable Culture:
-
- 939
- Scott’s Toilet Paper
- Monopoly
- Rumi
- The Mandalorian
-
- The Mandoborian
- 940
- Cloud Watching
- 941
- Nancy Drew
- Agatha Christie
- The Hardy Boys
- Fancy Nancy
- Fancy Nancy Drew and the Holiday Mystery
- Halloween
- John August
- Bored Game Unboxing
- Gaffer tape
- Scholastic Books
- Free Comic Book Day
- Geronimo Stilton
- Thea Stilton & The Case of the Cheesemonger’s Scorn
- 942
- Wandering Thought and the Thought-Wanderer
-
- Micro Machines
- Hot Wheels
- Car Talk 2.0
-
- Pixar
- The Mandalorian
Notable Talking Points:
-
- 939
- When was the last time I talked about rumination?
- Ruminate on Rumination
- Sometimes I experience feelings and sometimes I don’t
- Industrialists don’t want me to talk about the 5th shift
- Baron von Scott, the TP Baron
- I’m making a place for you that’s Charmin-y soft
- My Dulcets are Creaky
- Did Rumi ruminate?
- Expounding on a ruminated topic
- The intro has grown and morphed over time
- T. Bonus Meanders, the SWM Plush
- Now I’ve got T. Bonus Meanders running around in my brain
- My midroll is not in the middle
- The Mandaborian
- I don’t know my Greef Kargus from my Reef Kargus
- The Greater Kargus Group
- I’ve never scuba dove, but I love reefs
- Rumination feels heavy in the mouth
- Ramenation, the Ramen shop
- Ramenation: Where Ramen is possible
- 940
- Man, vicinity is a weird word
- Vinsinity
- Scoots, you’re the only person who prides themself on being ignorable and ignoble
- My podcast works so well because it barely works
- Look at it like you’d look at a cloud
- I tend to think in all or nothing patterns
- Looking at clouds with other people can feel pressure laden
- The Storm That Lives Within Me
- The Nana that Lives Within Me
- Let’s make some clouds that look like trains
- Has there ever been a St. Vicinity
- Vicinity, the superhero who’s always nearby
- Maybe that superhero should franchise out
- One step ahead of my internal nana
- You deserve a good night’s sleep
- Nana, I don’t have to interpret my clouds for anyone anymore
- 941
- Nancy Drew, solve the mystery of why my lights are off
- Nancy Drew, I’ve definitely invoked your name more than Agatha Christie and the Hardy Boys
- I would never answer my hotel phone
- Fancy Nancy Drew sounds right up my alley
- My hotel alias: Noir Chardonnay
- Why isn’t Nancy Drew rebooted more often?
- I have the Fancy Nancy halloween book in my personal collection
- Fancy Nancy Drew and the Holiday Mystery
-
- When did Scoots start dialing it in?
- Is dialing it in giving more or less effort?
- Explaining the structure
- I want you to feel seen
- Most of us can’t do a sheep countdown
- Some people just need a little distraction
- Bored Game Unboxing from one of my heroes, John August
- I always have gaffer tape nearby to cover up LED lights
- But blue lights still peep through at night
- Fancy Nancy Drew, please help me solve this
- A bonus preview mystery
- Does Scholastic take out ads?
- Maybe for Free Comic Book Day
- Long Term Listeners are well familiar with my confused adoration
- There’s no such thing as Thea Stilton
- Thea Stilton & The Case of the Cheesemonger’s Scorn
- If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s proposing ideas and then forgetting about them
- 942
- Wandering Thoughts
- A miniature RC car that could plug itself in
- Miniature Roomba Dock
- Like a micro machine
- Semi-Sentient Micro Machine
- My siblings had Hot Wheels
- Going to the drugstore to get your low-grade electronics and toys
- This is not a history podcast
- Hot Wheels but smaller and less metal
- People love shrink rays
- RC Cars were of various qualities
- Unfortunately this imaginary car is nocturnal and living under your bed
- Could this be a movie?
- It’s not fully sentient
- Let’s emotionalize this like Pixar
- Direct to Video used to be bad, but Direct to Streaming isn’t the same
- An alternate universe where it’s comforting to have a RC car roam your home at night
- Interviews with a Micro Machine
- No offense, are you still in business?
- Speculative micro machine fiction
- I subgenred myself
- The intro really has a purpose
- Audio Dusk
- How weird would it be if the sun just immediately dropped out of the sky?
- The podcast follows nature
- Mandaborian
- I know how it feels
- Bedtime Ambivalence
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