1141 – Purdy and the Android Twin | Make Great Pets E2

Notable Language:

• Haiku Brain
• Opportunity for Extreme Growth (OFEG)
• Squawk to you later

Notable Culture:

• Douglas Adams
• Snow White
• The Uncanny Valley

Notable Talking Points:

• Double Baked Dipped Tangents
• There’s a 30% chance you’ll find an electric blanket in the linen closet
• My Life as an Android Twin

Episode 1141 – Purdy and the Android Twin | Make Great Pets E2

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who…you know, I’ve been call…I’ve bill…I’ve made podcasts about building birdhouses. I don’t know if I’ve built a birdhouse. I’d like to build a bird home. Still working on that one birdhouse within me, not to put too fine a pine on it or whatever they say. But it’s time for the podcaster who’s here…if you’re new, so glad you’re here. Thanks for checking this podcast out. I really hope I can help you get the rest you need and you deserve. You do deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a bedtime you could feel neutral about or look forward to.

 

This show is a bit different, so it does take a couple tries to get used to because it’s one of those things that never…you say, when are you gonna put me to sleep? Well, I’m more here to keep you company with my rambling asides and stories and getting mixed up than to put…then you realize oh, I don’t need to…you’re just a comforting friend who’s gonna talk to me, but I don’t need to listen. I say exactly, because you deserve a bedtime, you deserve the rest you need, so see how it goes. That’s just what hundreds and thousands of people that are regular listeners said; hey, it took two or three tries before I realized oh, I don’t get it. Exactly.

 

So, I’m glad you’re here. What we got coming up, we’ll have support, that’s how the podcast comes out free, and you could always sign up for a ad-free version if you become a regular listener, then there’s a long, meandering intro which will ease you into bedtime, will be part of your wind-down routine or hopefully it’ll make you barely smile as you get comfortable and start drifting off, and after that we’ll have support and then our bedtime story, which will be a really nice one…episodically modular. So, that’s what we got coming up. I’m glad you’re here. Welcome to Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. Thanks for making it possible, my patron peeps.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether that’s thoughts on your mind, things you’re thinking about, like thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thinking stuff. Constant thoughts is one of the things…I was just walking…you say, how many thoughts can you have while walking a dog? How many speeches could one part of my brain give? Or is it a…was it a soliloquy?

 

I said, why can’t I get…I’m sure it would grow old fast, but why couldn’t I have a haiku brain instead of an internal critic or an internal debater…or saying well, if you just said it this…let’s learn how to make speeches about nothing. I say, but I never…this never comes up in normal conversation. Couldn’t I…? If I’m gonna have a skill that’s not always useful except when I’m walking the dog, couldn’t it…? I don’t even know what…that’d be nice, ‘cause I say well, now I know how many syllables are in a haiku, because I got a part of my brain constantly delivering them. Or it could be pithy things, like…I mean, that might be more…a dog and…a dog on a leash is…we’ll keep someone who doesn’t like off-leash dogs from saying ‘sheesh’. Maybe when you get home, you could make the two of you a dog-friendly quiche.

 

I say okay, no, I guess I prefer the…what goes on in my brain. Oh, but whatever’s keeping you awake; thoughts, it could be feelings coming up related to those thoughts, anything emotionally there or appearing…coming up now. It could be physical sensations, it could be changes in time, temperature, routine. You could have something big coming up, you could be going through something big, or you could have guests, you could be traveling. Whatever it is…and the reason I share all that is because, well, one, you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a bedtime you could look forward to or feel neutral about and the rest you need so your life is more manageable and eventually regularly getting the sleep you need so you could be out there flourishing.

 

That means our world’s a better place if your world’s a better place. So, that’s one reason why it’s so important to me. The other reason is I know how it feels in the deep, dark night, and so do hundreds of thousands of other people that are listening right now. Not everybody…might not have experienced what you’re going through, but a lot of us might be able to relate to it. Probably some of us can directly relate to how it feels whether it’s trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, trouble waking…whatever it is. We say yeah, it’s tough, and you deserve a little bit better. So, I hope this show can provide that. Whatever is…that’s keeping you awake…the way I’m gonna help is…or try to help is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.

 

I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. So, that means I’m gonna…you’ve already seen that; I’m gonna…my voice is not traditionally soothing. It also means I’m gonna go off topic, I’m gonna get mixed up, then I’ll double…I’ll say wait a second, what was I thinking about? What was I even talking about earlier? Thoughts, and then I got sidetracked about feelings, and then I went back, and then I double…then I said whoa, what? So, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, all to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so that you could fall asleep. What that means is, strangely enough, this is a podcast you don’t really listen to.

 

You can listen, but it’s a podcast that, for most people, they just kinda barely listen or they listen but not in an engaged way, just…kinda like something that’s just out of focus. You say oh, okay. Uh-huh. I could kinda see what you’re talking about, but I’m not really listening. I’m kinda getting comfortable here and getting ready to drift off. So, that’s kind of…I don’t know what my…oh, this is a podcast you kinda just barely listen to. If you can’t sleep, don’t worry. I’m gonna be here to the very end to keep you company, but that’s kinda what works about the show. I’m here to keep you company whether you’re listening or not. This also is a podcast that doesn’t put you to sleep, so there’s no pressure to fall asleep.

 

I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep, to take your mind off of stuff, to be your friend, your companion, your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your bore-bestie, your bore-bor, your neigh-bore, your bore-friend…did I already say that? Your bore-bruh, your bore-bud. Whatever it is, I’m here to keep you company whether you’re awake or asleep, to take your mind off whatever…’cause for me, it’s when my brain starts thinking about stuff. At bedtime, it’s very rarely about something outside of me, right? Once I become the central character in whatever drama of the night my brain decides on…or if it’s something physical or some feelings or an anticipation, I can’t…it’s really hard for me to let it go.

 

So, this is something outside of yourself that you could just kinda barely listen to, and just say to those parts of you…I call them brain bots. It hasn’t come up in a while, but they’re zooming around up there, right? Like hey, do you remember this? Oh boy, I’ll be back. Hey, did you…? They’re zooming around. They’re hyperactive, hyper-vigilant, and they kinda only have…they’re…they only have one purpose, each one of them, and…or one concern. So what I do is I say hey, brain bots, come on over. I’m gonna be…oh no, yeah, no, I hear you beeping and blurping. Totally. I’m gonna be talking here about nothing much, so why don’t you come over here and listen?

 

Don’t worry, we’ll…I know those alert…the good thing is somehow you recharge whenever I’m…and you’re totally ready at bedtime every single time, so I know you have your jobs covered, so we don’t even need to…we could mute…we don’t need to mute you, but it’d be great if you did. So, I’ll just…I’m gonna tell you all a story, and it’s gonna be about pets or someone that becomes a pet. Well, it’s tough to explain, but don’t worry. I’ll explain it coming up here. It’ll be nice, and I even have brain-bot-based treats. I forgot what they were…candied meanders. Oh boy, the candy…if Sleep With Me ever exited a gift shop, there’d definitely be candied meanders, and of course meanderwear available for purchase.

 

Oh boy, but yeah, I brought enough…and I brought a special double-baked tan…a double-baked tangent, dipped tangents. They’re double-baked. Baked once, then baked again. Tangential tangents. I do have some tangerine tangents as well. Those are crystallized tangerine tangents. Oh boy, dehydrated. Yep, you got it. So, don’t worry. I’m gonna tell you a story. I got plenty of stuff to share and plenty for everybody. No need to get…no need to form a line, even. I’ll bring them right to you. So, that’s the thing, is I’m here to…oh, don’t need to listen to me…yeah, no need to fall asleep. I’m here to keep you company. So, if you can’t sleep, I’ll be here to the very end; if you’re asleep, I’ll be here to the very end keeping you company.

 

A couple other things to know that throw people off; this podcast just takes some getting used to, ‘cause naturally if you’ve been having trouble sleeping for a while or even if it’s something new, you’re looking for a solution, right? Maybe somebody told you about this podcast or you tried a bunch of other stuff and it only worked once or twice and then you moved on, or you spent a bunch of money on a bunch of different things. This is all stuff I’ve done and a lot of other listeners have done, and it makes you skeptical and doubtful and not always in the best mood. That’s totally normal and that’s how most people end up at the show, is in…out of a place of frustration. Then you say, what is this rambling you’re doing? So, those are normal feelings.

 

What happens is after two or three tries you realize oh, okay, this is…like that Douglas Adams thing said; mostly harmless. You’re just here to keep me company and talk…really, you were accurate, but it was hard to determine that you were accurate until I listened to…a few times and then I realized oh, it is like someone holding onto sand. It’s just drifting through your fingers over and over again out of focus or whatever, because that doesn’t make any sense until I see it in practice. So, give it a few tries and see how it goes. If you already definitely don’t like the show, that’s normal too, and if you don’t want to give it a few tries, that’s fine. Check out sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou.

 

It’s got a bunch of other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there for you to check out, ‘cause you…even if you don’t like me or the show, it doesn’t change the fact I know how it feels and you deserve a good night’s sleep. So, see how it goes or check out sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. Structure of the show also throws people off, so I’ll go through the structure of the show. Starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then I maybe say some funny stuff or barely funny stuff. That way you say okay, I feel seen and welcomed in. I’ll check this show out. Then there’s support. Believe it or not, many, many hours go into making this show and keeping it coming out twice a week. So, the support from the listeners and the sponsors enable us to do that for free, or paying for it’s optional.

 

Then after the support is the intro, which we’re already into, and the intros last somewhere between ten and twenty minutes long. It’s separate from the support, which I’m sorry if you get frustrated that the support for the show…and then it gets projected onto the intro. They’re not the same thing. The intro is here, one, to introduce new people to the podcast, two, for me to naturally go off topic and get mixed up, and then three, to ease you into bedtime, to give you a transition from being awake to being asleep. The intro, for a lot of listeners, is part of their wind-down routine or their getting-ready-for-bed routine. While there are listeners that are asleep, and oh boy, are we so happy for you — and there are about 2% of people that skip the intro — there’s actually more people that pay just to listen to intros on Patreon.

 

So, that kinda shows hey, there’s…everybody’s different. So, as you become a regular listener, you can kind of adjust. But at first, just try it out. The intro is meant to slowly lower the volume whether you’re in bed getting comfortable or you’re already asleep or you’re brushing your teeth and other great stuff or doing some sort of chill activity. That’s what the intro does; it eases you into bedtime, and that’s just what’s been shown to work for me and with sleep studies, is having a wind-down routine. So, I do hope, as you become a regular listener if you do, that you say oh, okay, maybe I’ll do some doodling or foam-rolling or pet my pet or whatever it is to give yourself even more stuff to say oh, I’m looking forward to those things at bedtime, ‘cause that’s just what works for me not all the time, but most of the time.

 

So, that’s the intro, then again there’s support between the intro and the story so the show could come out free twice a week. Then there’s our bedtime story. Tonight will be our ongoing episodically modular series, which is brand new. I think it’s gonna be call…so, I don’t even know 100% the title. I think it’s gonna be called Make Great Pets. So, it’s about pets. I mean, what could be nicer? So, that’ll go on for about forty-five or fifty minutes, then there’s some thank-yous at the end. So, that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show, and I’m so glad you’re here. I really appreciate you coming by and checking the podcast out. I appreciate your time and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. In fact, I yearn and I strive and work really hard because it is important, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to do it for you for free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, it is time for our episodically modular series that…this is the second episode but you can listen to it in any order, as the character’s gonna set up all the details you need to know. It’s kind of a training…it’s training of how to be helpful, is…it’s a fictional…it’s fictional, but it’s a training journal. The episodically modular part should be built in, though the series…I think We’ll Make Great Pets is the working title as of right now, but the secret is I record this in 2022 and this will be coming out at some point in 2023. So, things change, but hopefully that title sticks; Make Great Pets. That’s…describes…Great Pets would be the best…Pets Are Great? I don’t know. Probably not the best time to brainstorm when I’m trying to set up our series.

 

So, basically, you really don’t need to know anything other than it’s a character named Rin and they’re recording training sessions. They should explain everything…the rest of it from…they’re really nice. If you love pets, holy cow, are you in for a sleepy treat. But if you love voices that are soothing but also stimulating…unlike mine; mine is just…you say well, it’s kinda soothing. Not very stimulating. This person’s voice is so stimulating, we use it to kick off every episodically modular series so then you could fall off from there. You say okay, I was stimulated slightly. So, this is our Hollywood announcer…drives all the way from Los Angeles, sits in their…my driveway until they’re…until I tell them okay, you could come in now. You know what? Can you give me five more minutes?

 

I see you through the kitchen window, though. Right, I’m doing some dishes and I need five more minutes of thinking…preparing-to-socialize time. But we’re really good friends, they say. I say yeah, that’s why I only need five minutes more. But I have to use the restroom. You know how it goes with these Hollywood big shots. I gotta use the restroom; I just drove six hours for free. Electric…all electric…all solar. Solar-powered and with a solar-powered smile, a powerful solar smile. It’s Mr. Antonio Banderas. Thank you. The ladies…Scooter, do you remember if I introduced the first episode of the series or not? I don’t, Antonio, ‘cause I was probably pretty…I might have been…you might not have. I’m good to be…I don’t remember, either.

 

The friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys and girls, it’s time to get cozy, to get comforted, to get loving. It’s time for Great Pets. Meow. Wow, that’s class…I don’t know if you’ve ever done a meow like that. It was a symbolic meow. I love it, Antonio. Also, if Antonio wasn’t in the first episode, I…we both apologize. Sometimes we can get distracted. Oh, ‘cause yeah, I gotta record these before they come out, so the first episode hasn’t even been edited yet. But you know, that’s what makes it fun. So, this is Great Pets, and that was Mr. Antonio Banderas.

 

Okay, hello, everybody. My name is Rin and if you’re listening to this, it’s a training module. Module? Which is basically my journal as I’m learning this process, so I’ll be learning and you’ll be learning from me, and that’s great because even…you may have more knowledge than me; you may even have more experience than me. I may be even making examples of how not to do things. But also, more will be revealed. I think as I’m learning, there is one thing that’s…there’s a few things that are sticking out to me, but…so, I’m here, I’m gonna be recording these trainings as I learn the process. They said to…I’m a little distracted so let me just get my distraction out of the way, then I’ll get back to what’s going on, because I’m singing in my head here, because I’m not like a bird. I am a bird.

 

I can fly…well, I can’t fly away, but I can fly around this house I’m in. This is the kinda thing that people…they can’t prepare you for. You say well, you’re in a new state of existence. I wasn’t prepared for that as a human, Earth-bound human. Then they explained to me how this new…the big…the old big farm works. No farm, not big, but endless. They explained to me…and they said…I said wait a second, I gotta get a job? They said you in particular have to get a job. I said, terrific. Tell me more. I thought…where’s the beach and the umbrella drinks? But that’s neither here nor there. This is just a example of me venting. Oh, but being a bird they can’t prepare you for. Holy cow, flight is amazing. It feels good. There’s some processes of being…that I wasn’t prepared for, some of the internal activities of a bird.

 

But the flying part, pretty good. The squawking…there’s involuntary…or, well, I haven’t been able to trace it. It’s not my choice to squawk. So, some of the squawking is not…couldn’t be prepared for that, either. I say, can you…can’t you hear that? ‘Cause I can hear it. So, I’m a bird, which goes back to our training. So, if you’re listening to this, maybe you acquired it by some other means, but otherwise you’re preparing for this new program they’ve been testing; the Post-Besos Incident or the Cash Penney Incident, whatever they’re calling it, and this attempt to help this particular version of Earth, which happens to be the version of Earth I came from, which is pretty cool. I think it’s…I mean, this part I said, this was happening when I was on Earth or after? I don’t know. Timelines…let’s not get into it.

 

But so, you’re in an opportunity much like me to become or have a presence within a pet in a home or maybe some other location — this is only my second job — and to be the pet and to help someone or some…more than one person get through something. Yes, similar to the ideas of the guardian…the…there was originally…they tested out with one version of Earth, guardian angels. That was a pretty popular myth, too. So, it was both something happening and a myth, and that was the Besos-Penney timeline or the Sears-Penney timeline. Whatever…I don’t know. I’m not a historian of all these different things. That didn’t exactly work. You can put…you can take the angel out of Earth, but you can’t take the humanity out of an angel, it turns out. That’s when they said well, let’s do the opposite.

 

Let’s have a negative…someone to show you the wrong choices, and that definitely didn’t work. So, this is the latest…my understanding of my task at hand is help people through one of these phases that turns out to be an opportunity…opportunity…OFEG, an opportunity for extreme growth? A turning point, as they say, though not a turning point back when there was one centralized figurehead and they said…they would do some figure…finger-wagging. The finger-wagging of the figurehead. Oh. I don’t think I’m supposed to record this stuff out…some of these thoughts out loud, but these are the thoughts I have. So, if you’re gonna relate to my training…otherwise they could just delete it. But if you get a chance to be a bird, it’s nice.

 

Even jumping around…and also, the clacking of your…what are these? They’re not paws, are they? Claws? I don’t have talons. Oh, well, I’ll talk about what kind of bird I am and stuff. So, I think that’s it. I’m here to…so, I’m here to record me learning how to help, what it’s like being inside a pet. You should have got some more training with body awareness and motion and the communication system and then the dream journaling. That’s what I’m doing now. Pet’s asleep. Bird’s asleep. Old caw too much…that’s not the bird’s name, but…so, oh, the other thing I’ve learned or I’m learning…or maybe I’m aware of…trying to find joy and fun and look at the positive. Maybe that’s why they signed me up for this, ‘cause those aren’t…maybe I’m more aware of those areas. It’s a area of deficiency, what I was told in my life review.

 

So, I guess this is also…as they pitched it…maybe not to you…this is your…this is a chance for another…different style…humanity in a different style, in a bird. It really does help me…to be honest, I didn’t think any of this would work, but you know, I say hey, if this particular family can move on from here and flourish or have a little bit better existence, make better choices, be more aware of the joy of positivity and fun in the world, then I was. Holy cow. I’m not even…I’m not saying this with any irony, but I am flapping my…I’m…I guess I’m flapping my gums and not my wings. So, help…oh yeah, they…with the training, they said something like being positive helps me help…be helpful or something. I can’t remember.

 

Oh, but yeah, I just wanted to go on one more tangent about this, I guess ‘cause I’m trying to learn and train you by doing…is…there was a competing training service of just be yourself or just do your best, and I have not found that useful because…and not even in helping them. Obviously that’s a whole ‘nother challenge. How’s a pet gonna help somebody? You know. But I guess the other things they tried to help people…I don’t know if it didn’t work; it…I mean, there was that argument…I said, why do we even need to get involved? When we get involved…but so, whatever. This is low-impact, they say. I mean, I listened in on my trainers discussing things and they said well, how much…they said how much damage could he possibly do, Rin, as a pet? Okay, so…I don’t know.

 

Oh, so I was saying don’t do your best or try to be yourself; try to be on the path to discovering the best versions of these people you’re working with and yourself. You know what I’m saying? Maybe. I don’t know. There’s a lot of down time, so you got…unfortunately you got a lot of time to think about this stuff. But I can’t write anything down, so that’s why it’s a little bit jumbled. So, I’m a bird. I’m a squawker and I can talk, which I think is gonna be helpful. But it’s…like I said, it’s pretty loud. So far, I know I can say ‘hello Purdy’. That’s my name; Purdy. Are you hungry now? I can say that. I think I’m repeating what has been…are you hungry now? Purdy, be quiet. That’s one that’s come out quite a lot. Lucia bedtime; that’s another one. I’m in Lucia’s room. We’ll get to that.

 

So, I don’t know if I’m in my…I think I’m a macaw just because of the cawing, but I don’t know if macaw…I don’t know. They always said parrots talk, but I thought it was parakeets. I’m very nice; I got a nice green…I would say I’m even…oh, I forgot what that word was, but sparkly. Okay, so the Ws, right? Who, what, where, when, how, why? Task at hand…there’s a family of three people or four…well, or five, depending on how you’re counting. It’s a bed…Lucia; Lucia’s the child. I live in her room. I’m her pet, technically. Actually, she does…she is responsible for me. What else? Parents…I don’t know. I didn’t catch their names. Then there’s a fourth person. This is slightly confusing; she’s Aunt Lucinda. So, we have Lucia and Lucinda. But Lucinda hasn’t come yet.

 

But I guess she has a room here, so she kinda visits, but for…she kinda lives here but kinda doesn’t. I don’t know. So, that’s number four. So you have Lucia, mom, dad, Lucinda, maybe, and then number five. You might want to sit…if you’re not sitting down listening to this, you might want to sit down. I mean, I don’t know where you’ve been, but Lucia…and this is a new situation…has a twin android sister. Yeah, but maybe not like you’re thinking, because if you would have told me this, I would have been…what I would have pictured in my head would be slightly different than the reality. But like most things, it’s in-between what I…it’s in the gray. So, this is also why Aunt Lucinda’s trying to get here, because things have been rocky…or post-honeymoon period with the twin android sister, and I think this is why I’m here.

 

This is the turning point. Okay, the twin sister also does not have a name at this time. At first, Lucia couldn’t decide on a name and now she’s realizing something under control, so she’s refusing to come up with a name. This is the end of my first day here, so I’m pretty…I think I’m collecting pretty good stuff. So, the honeymoon period of this…and when I say honeymoon, you know what I mean; the newness has worn off with Lucia and the android twin, and now there’s kind of this…I believe that the android twin was offered as a distraction and not a solution anyway, but the tension seems to be building. So, it’s like the underlying tension, then the distraction, and the distraction becomes a cause of new ten…but I’m supposed to be finding the joy here, too.

 

Well, Lucia’s great, so that…and I would say she has joy in her eyes, a quiet kind of joy, and…oh, who, what…who; so, she is a kid. Hm, again, I didn’t…I don’t know, maybe I wasn’t paying attention during this training. She’s not a baby, not a toddler, not…she’s school-age but not older school-age. So, she’s not a little kid, like not a kindergartener. I don’t know, third, fourth, fifth grade? Something like that, or grade…I don’t know where your training is. Grade three, grade four, grade five? I don’t see a lot of her parents. I hear them. They seem on the sad side, I guess, and desperate to please in a different kind of way for each of them…on edge. This seem…and they seem sad or disappointed because it seemed like they were fix…they thought this would work.

 

But they seem…so, they seem to be on a [inaudible] back up, ‘cause they said well, I thought this would work, not realizing it was a distraction. But I think they think that Aunt Lucinda will fix things. Maybe between me and Aunt Lucinda, we’ll get it all solved. Oh, when I say what would fix things, the android twin sister. So, this is why I wanted to get into expectations, in case you encounter an android twin, but it could be at a different time. So, I don’t know if you…when I say the word ‘android’ what you picture in your head, especially when I say ‘android twin sister’, but yes, this android is the same size and body type and looks the same as Lucia. Her parents did buy her a lot of similar outfits so that they could dress the same, though that has not been…following through on.

 

But if you’re talking about a gen…go back to ages, what generation android is this, I would say it’s not an early generation. There’s no steam coming out or…but I wouldn’t say I would send this thing off to get a graduate degree. It’s no Data, like in that…Star Trek: The Next Generation or some sort of super-advanced being. I don’t…but it’s not so clunky as something that looks like it was put together in garage. But when you watch it…I don’t know if you remember those early Disney movies or early animated motion pictures. You could see…maybe I didn’t live the fullest life, but these are the things…but I don’t know if the…there was this one called Snow White. I don’t know if you ever saw it. There was other ones like it.

 

It was early on, so there was just something about the motion of the human characters in those films that you say huh, that’s…something’s off about it. They knew it, and they said oh, okay, it’s just a matter of…I don’t know what the solution ended up being. It’s just really difficult to move like a human if you’re not a human, I guess. So, you know she’s not gonna…they’re not gonna go to school and fool anybody for very long. I don’t know. It’s just one of those uncanny things. Like, even if they were standing side-by-side, maybe if it was…they were…used trick lighting and makeup or something. But otherwise you’d say okay, come on, Lucia, let’s go. So, I don’t know.

 

That’s what I have so far, just observing…not exactly sure where to get started other than by paying attention and trying to find…I mean, there were probably positives about having a android sister, and I don’t think it’s a empty gesture. I don’t know how many other kids have android…if this is a big thing right now. Though Lucia had had friends over, she did not…well, today…I heard them talking, but I think it’s the post…like, maybe when…this is just speculation. So, we’re not supposed to really speculate, but I figure when she first got the android, then she was having people over to play with it, but now it’s kinda like something else going on. So, I’m gonna rest inside my bird here, and I guess I’ll squawk to you later. Alright, hey, this is Rin. I’ll be honest, it’s been a few days.

 

They said it would be easier for me to record one of these and do a journal every single night, but the flying just…I’ve been using…well, I’ve been flying around the house a lot. Again, it’s just too awesome. But also, I’ve been…what’s…Aunt Lucinda’s here. I don’t know whose aunt she is, but Aunt Lucinda is a problem-solver. So, I said this must be why the parents were anticipating her arrival. Or maybe she’s more of a catalyst for problem-solving or the problem-solving manager. She’s very efficient and effective, but I’m not sure…so then I’m like oh, well, my job is to find some…I don’t know, though she does not seem inter…she seems interested in solving things. Reminds me a bit of me in a different…so I say okay, well, I’m supposed to be kinda keeping an eye out for joy and fun, at least on some level.

 

So, I don’t know if I always agree with her methods, either. With the parents she’s very…using techniques I would…would make me uncomfortable. Like, a lot of finger-wagging, saying you got…you know, very judgmental or what could feel judgmental to me, but also kinda to pressure the parents to become unstuck, because they seem stuck. But with Lucia, she’s not as…she’s a little bit lighter…she’s more stern but clear. Not a lot of subtext, which is good, I think…and very task-driven. One of the things that came up for the first couple days of her arrival when it seemed like Lucinda was dealing with the parents was she would go to Lucia and say well, what’s your problem with your sister? She’s not my sister. Okay. Okay, what’s your problem with your new friend? She’s not my friend. Okay.

 

Then finally, she kinda had to keep asking until Lucia said I just don’t like her. I just don’t like her. I don’t want her. Then Lucinda said okay, well, let’s come up with a list of the things you don’t like about your sis…she’s not my sister. Okay, but let’s come up with a list of things…she goes, let’s be specific. Be as specific as you can so we can look at these. I know one thing…oh, so this might help with the age; Lucia still plays with toys a little bit. So, I don’t know if that helps at all. But Lucinda has…or the android, who I’ll have to name…I’ll just call her Droidy. She broke some of the toys, initially. This was before, and…some of the favorite toys. One, Lucinda…or Lucia…this is confusing with these names. Aunty, I’ll call her. So, maybe this might be helpful to you. I don’t know, getting confused with the names.

 

So, Lucia stopped playing with her toys or would play with them alone, but also was like, did you break this on purpose? The android is very droid-like. Like, I did not break this toy on purpose. I don’t need to get into the…this isn’t really about the…that’s not my…the interpersonal part of it, at least with the android. I mean, unless I’m here to help the android by….I have not detected a sense of sentience or consciousness in the android, but that doesn’t mean I’m not…I’m open to that. So, this was one where I was able to help, and I said okay, maybe me and Aunty are gonna work together, because I was able to go to the garage, knock over a thing of old toys, fly a couple of them in my claws, and…it did throw Aunty off, but she said what do you got there?

 

Oh. Look at this; this is your old tea…prince…Prim and Princess Tea Set or whatever. We could have a party with…oh, those are going out to be donated, but…so, then she said, you and your sister could…you and Droidy could have…you could use these and if she breaks it, it’s okay. So, what’s the next thing that…? You could play with her…she said well, she’s cold to the touch. It’s not like when I hug my mom or my dad or you. She’s not a person, but it’s also just…it’s not something I want to snuggle with. Again, Lucin…now, Lucinda…or Aunty and I — oh boy — we took two different tactics, the same thing; I grabbed an electric blanket. First I had to look, but the linen closet’s always a good…just in case your linen…if you’re looking for an electric blanket, a linen closet is…you got at least a 20% or 30% chance.

 

In this case, 100% chance. Aunty was more in the hot water bottle camp, but they did both. It didn’t really solve anything, but at least she got Lucia to put her head on…that they could…she’s like well, at least it’s warm. Then there’s a problem at night which I’m aware of, too, but I’m usually busy…after I do this journaling I get tired, so the thing is that it is not a magical android like you see in the movies. So, the android does make maintenance noises at night, like where it’s cycling, whatever, its circulatory system. That’s not silent, but the…oh, the parents have two beds in the room like they’re really twin sisters now. Again, more of it’s come out that it was a thing of like oh, I wanted a sister or oh, I’m lonely and that this would help, and those kinda…you know.

 

I heard Lucin…Aunty talking to the parents about it, so it’s one of those situations and not easy for anybody to deal with…and that this twin is supposed to help solve it, Droidy. But so, she makes these maintenance noises at night. They’re not terribly loud but you can hear it. It’s a bit of whirring, a bit of slushing, pumps pumping at a high speed, and Lucinda doesn’t…or Lucia doesn’t like it. So, she had already tried to cover her android twin in blankets, but that caused overheating which caused the overheating alarm, which…before total over…you know, so…which was pretty loud. Also, I think…go into a different…non-maintenance sleep mode or something. The parents were like, what are you doing? She’s too loud at night. They say, you’ll get used to it. This was before I was here, or Aunty.

 

Then she tried that, and then she just put the sister in the garage. But then when one of the parents would go out to work, they’d be…the first time it happened, they were…the android was standing there. So, that gave them a bit of a surprise. She tried to put the android sister in the garage. That didn’t work. Parents were like, we can’t do that. Your sister needs to sleep in there. So, then my squawking actually helped ‘cause they were saying well, remember when Purdy used to talk too much or Purdy would move around in their cage and that used to bother you, but you got used to it. She said, I don’t…so then…this was pretty simple…wasn’t my idea, it was Aunty’s. But she said well, let’s get some fans and some other noises and maybe that’ll…you won't…and then that actually worked. It’s actually pretty nice.

 

Also, a little more airflow in the room. The fan’s not blowing on me. Oh, good question…maybe ask…is there a blanket over my cage? Sometimes. Right now is the wintertime, so it’s pretty dark in the room. So, that…I don’t have it over my cage. But other times I…there is a blanket. Then the one other one was…she said she doesn’t like the way the android sister looks at her. Now, the other thing I forgot to tell you is that there’s a ticking clock of a thing, which is that I guess you can…they purchased or…this is obviously an expensive thing, an android twin, but there is a…or they told Lucia that she would have a choice, because there is a test period. So, I think in Lucia’s…well, so, we’ll see, because…so, she said I gotta work at the…she’s supposed to talk to her parents tomorrow and go over all the stuff with Aunty and them.

 

The only one that’s not resolved is how she…she says well, I don’t like the way she looks at me, which I think is just a technological thing that…yeah, there’s a little bit of…I don’t know if…is this what uncanny valley means? But it’s not the same as looking at a person. Similar to the animation metaphor I already made. I’m not sure what to do about that other than…you can’t get…then my android twin sister wears her sunglasses at night. Doesn’t make any sense, right? So anyway, that’s where we’re at with this. Yeah, I’ll…I’m gonna rest. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Okay, this is Rin, Night…well, not Night 3. Recording 3. But this is…oh, boy. So, I’m not sure how I feel about this and I’m still a bird. So, I guess that means I haven’t got my job done, unless the change…so, I guess from training purposes…okay.

 

Okay, what happened was Aunty said well, it’s a staring contest. She tried a bunch of different things with the eyes and then she said well, it’s time to talk your parents, and not everything…maybe this is a chance that not everything with your android twin will be perfect. But let’s go over everything with your parents and the solutions. They had a meeting, and I was not comfortable with this. I actually did a lot of squawking because it was three adults and Lucia, and the android twin was not present for this. They went over everything and then they said how do you feel about all these solutions, Lucia? Yeah, it’s not perfect. She said well, if this is a trial period, I don’t want to have her as…I don’t want to keep her. Everybody looked surprised. At first it kinda was like, what do you mean you don’t want to keep…?

 

You’re the only kid…this is so rare and there’s so many positives about your android twin and so many things that could be positive in the future. I just don’t understand. She said well, this…I just don’t…if there’s a trial period, I don’t want her. I don’t want to keep her. It’s as simple as that. Then another tactic was tried where it was like, more of a frustration…well, we do all this and this is…and maybe this is your chance to learn to appreciate your sister. Then the Aunty’s…kinda used the tactics she used on the adults about…well, can’t you appreciate what your…? Then Lucia figured it out. Wait a second, did I ever have a choice in this situation or am I just stuck with this sister? She said, is there a trial period?

 

The parents said well, technically there is, but there’s a deposit and we’re also being…this is…we’re part of a program to improve these things. She said so, I don’t have a choice; I’m stuck with my…I’m stuck with this. That kinda ended the conversation initially. Then it was more of a soothing period they went into where it was not a lot of talking. I’d say everybody did a pretty good job at first. Some space…gave her some space and then just comforted her, didn’t talk about it, gave her some time. Also I think space of like, well, we…no one knows how to deal with this situation. Everybody’s feelings were strong. I said to myself…and I tried different things. I would try to use some of the sayings to alleviate the mood, and there was no joy with that. I couldn’t find any joy, right?

 

Then Aunt…I feel like Aunty Lucinda beat me to it because she was giving space, but then she was letting Lucia do quiet activities. Then she kinda went…she goes oh, what are you doing or what are you…? It looks like…is this one of your things to do when you’re…when stuff’s wild or whatever? What are you doing? She said oh, she goes, I have this coloring book of…she goes, but those are real…she goes, well, these are…this is Super Happy Birthday Land. She goes, I would have preferred to go here than have an android sister, and that’s what I had asked for. My parents said that won't last, just one visit to Super Happy Birthday Land. She said it’s pretty expensive and we’re…I don’t know. One day we’re gonna go there.

 

But so…but I like to color in these pictures of it and imagine what color…one day maybe I’ll design a park, a getaway theme park like Super Happy Birthday Land. Lucia said huh…or Lucinda. Okay, yeah, well…we’re all just in there in the room together and then Lucinda came in. This was impress…at first I think it was impressive, but now that…I guess I gotta give it another day, but she pulled out a notebook and she started doing stuff. She was looking up stuff on her phone, but quietly, like parallel play-type thing. Finally Lucia said well, what are you doing? She says well, I was making a budget to visit Super Happy Birthday Land. Lucia said, are you gonna go? Are you gonna take me? She said no, no, I was just trying to price it out. It is expensive. Lucia said yeah, yeah, yeah. She goes wow, it’s really expensive.

 

She goes, take a look. This is what the…what it costs to visit one time. She goes, but actually if you visited once every eleven months and then once every thirteen months…’cause she said it seems like you’re only in the Super Happy Birthday Land age range for a few years, and you’re right on the start of…you can go on most of the attractions. They’re just talking about it, but hard numbers. Then Lucia said well, jeez, what if I…I wish I could get a job. Then they looked at one another. But I think Lucinda knew what she was doing, but maybe not. Then they looked at the android twin and they…then they looked back at each other. Lucinda said, that might just work. Then she went and talked to the parents. So, I don’t know. I’m gonna rest. I’ll be back right away, but…I don’t know if that’s what’s happening. Okay, Rin here.

 

So, it’s…seems to be happening. Lucinda is actually really pushing this and thinking that if…well, now it looks like the android would have to have two jobs, and there are android workers and there are jobs that she would qualify for and she could get. Not exactly high-paying jobs; obviously for some of the same reasons within her maintenance ability levels…it’s all possible, but only possible if she has two jobs to earn…and she said, this actually will work. So, everybody’s excited about it. This is the…there’s…they’ve gone and problem solved. Even Lucia’s more happy with her sister now, that the idea is that the android is gonna provide for her and her parents and Aunt Lucinda, maybe, depending on the tax refund or whatever — that’s what Aunt Lucinda said — for them to go to Super Happy Birthday Land on vacation once a year for the next few years as long as she works two jobs.

 

If she works one job, then it would be probably a one-time trip or once every couple of years. But I don’t know, to be honest, that…as I’m sitting here, that this is the solution. Well, one, I’m not jealous. I don’t know, I’m just looking at everything and one, it’s like, everybody’s happy about it, Super Happy Birthday Land or whatever it’s called, but is this a solution? Is this the right thing? I don’t think it is. So, I was trying to think, where could I find the joy in this? Honestly, I think Lucia has doubts, too, ‘cause at night…said, what do you think about you getting a job? Well, I know it would make you happy, so that would make me happy. This is the first time I’ve really heard them communicating in the dark, which is a powerful time. Well, what do you think about getting a job and doing these jobs?

 

Well, it will be unexpected and I will miss you and the home. I’m uncertain but certain I will be able to accomplish the task at hand. Then the…she even said will I be able to go to Birth…? She said no, androids aren’t allowed. She said oh, okay. I understand. She said, would you want to go to Super…? She goes well, if Lucia’s excited about it, I’ll be excited about it. Oh, also, I think they decided on a name; Birthday, for the android. So, I don’t know. That’s just what happened today, but I’m trying to think of…why am I here? What am I here…how am I…? But wait a second, what about this, what we’re talking about? I don’t know, I think I have an idea. I’m gonna try tomorrow and I’ll let you know. Okay, this is Rin here.

 

I don’t know what this is…I don’t know what the recording is, but this hopefully will be the last one and I’ll move on, because I think I did help. I didn’t solve anything, but I said how are we gonna find…’cause then even at breakfast…this is what helped, was Lucia said…they were all eating breakfast. Everybody’s still on this high. Aunty Lucinda’s getting ready to leave again because problems are solved. She did stare at me a couple times, and then they said well, Birthday would like to go to Happy Birthdays…and they said well, maybe you could sneak her in. Maybe one day they’ll allow androids to stay at the hotel and go to the park, but not right now. Maybe you could get a…maybe she could get a job at the park…only behind-the-scenes. Well, then, it’d be pretty far away. She’d have to live in some sort of dorm…so anyway.

 

So, Aunty Lucinda left, but then I said wait a second…and so then they were even bonding over it. Then I said wait, no one’s…maybe part of this family dynamic…especially now seeing Lucinda, I said well, what if this is another honeymoon phase, right? But what if this is a opportunity for…I said maybe I was looking too hard for clear joy and clear things. Suddenly, the fact that Lucia was kinda seeing things from her sister…from Birthday’s perspective…or Droidy, as I would have preferred…so, I grabbed some journals, and there’s a lot of…just like in any house, there’s a lot of half-journals with two entries or diaries or diaries that Lucia was given that she never used, and I put them all into…in Birthday’s bed. Lucia said, what…are those…? But she saw me, so she didn’t blame her sister.

 

I just want to be clear. She said, what are you doing? I said, [SQUAWK]…whatever. Are you hungry or whatever, birdie? I was trying to use my vocals to underline points and I was pushing it. She said oh, you want Lucia to start a journal? Then…or, Birthday? Then Birthday didn’t understand. That was a little bit beyond Birthday’s processing capabilities, a journal. So, then she told her parents and then it was…her mom said well, what if you keep a journal from her perspective and trying to understand things from her perspective, like what it’s like to be your android twin? Lucia said I could call it My Life as an Android Twin. She goes oh, there’s some extra journals here, or diaries and stuff. The parent said oh, okay. Interesting. What are you…? She goes…she pushed them across the table.

 

This is honestly what I was hoping to happen. I don’t want to take credit for it, but I don’t think it would have been possible without her, but she…they said oh, you want us to keep journals as…My Life as a Android Twin? She just kinda took a breath in and she said, I wonder — Lucia said this — I wonder if I wrote a journal as Purdy. Like, what it would be like to be Purdy, and that all of a sudden I…Purdy had to share…it used to just be Purdy and I. Then suddenly a bunch of stuff went on in our lives, and then it was like hey, you’re gonna live with this android twin. It’s a gift that you’re supposed to appreciate, Purdy. Maybe write it…they said, write it as Purdy? Lucia just kinda sat there in silence. Then the parents figured it out. Then they said hey, maybe when you’re done…it was a little passive-aggressive, but normal.

 

They said after you’re done writing, maybe you could write it as…and she goes, what…then it became…they did find joy and laughter, ‘cause then they started doing spoof entries. Like, first she was talking from the android’s…from Birth…she goes, this…my name’s Birthday and I’m writing this journal through Lucia, but…so sick of Purdy’s squawking. Then everybody laughed. Then they said…so they said oh, my name’s Lucia. I’m writing this journal through my mother’s hand or my father’s hand, and…said well, okay, we could take turns writing…keeping a journal as the other person for a while, wondering what it’s like to be like…be them. What are they…? Then they started saying oh, what are the challenges?

 

Then they laughed, and I don’t want to say this, but they said oh, thank god Aunty…they all said their journal would have said thank goodness Aunty Lucinda’s gone, solving all our problems. So, I don’t know. I think we reached something, and I’ll know. I’m gonna go rest after this and maybe I’ll wake up back in another pet somewhere. It’d be nice to have a break just in case any trainers are listening, like a debrief or something, even though I’m doing this…but it’s pretty great being a pet today. I don’t exact…there are more Purdy journals being written and they’re not exactly complimentary about…but I said well, that’s just the way my…that’s just the way a bird processes its natural environment. So anyway, I’m gonna get some rest. I’m glad…hopefully this was helpful for you if you’re gonna be a pet soon. Goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcribed by Leah Hervoly)