1127 – Very Lasso Holiday | Carol of the Bells
- Iconic Kiss Pose (IKP)
- Milton Bradley
- “Christmas in Hollis, Queens” – Run-DMC
- Love, Actually
Notable Talking Points:
- The Parker Brothers are modern day Greek Gods
- Santa’s endurance is more important than his speed
- Keely’s smart bell-pressing technique
Episode 1127 – Very Lasso Holiday | Carol of the Bells
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who’s trying to put a little honey in your…a little honey…well, I was gonna say honey in your cough drops, because sometimes I have a cough drop before I record to get rid of mouth noises, but putting honey in cough…putting a little honey in your cough drop probably isn’t the same. So, it’s time for the podcaster trying to put a little honey in every cough drop consumed by every podcaster who consumes cough drops before they record or for any other reason, if you like honey or honey flavoring or find it effective in your cough drops, ‘cause it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that is here to put you to sleep, to keep you company in the deep, dark night, to take your mind off of stuff, because you deserve a bedtime you could look forward to.
You deserve a good night’s sleep. That’s what we’re here for, and if you’re new, what’s gonna happen? This is a little…me getting to say hello to you. Welcome. Then there will be support for the show, then there will be an intro that you could listen to as you’re getting in bed and getting comfortable or as you’re drifting off, and then we’ll talk about a holiday episode of Ted Lasso, ‘cause it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. Thanks for making it possible, my patron peeps.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, things on your mind that you’re thinking about, thoughts. So thoughts, feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally related to those thoughts, to the past, the present, the future, feelings that are just there, physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, you have…might have guests, you might be a guest.
Whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so that you could fall asleep. The way I do it here and the reason I do it here are the two most important things. Probably the reason I do it’s the most important, and I said it at the top of the show. The reason I make this podcast is twofold; one, while I might not know exactly what you’re going through, I can probably relate to how it feels, and if I can’t, there’s hundreds of thousands of people listening right now, and a few of them out there probably can connect to how you feel when you can’t fall asleep or how you’re feeling right now or have been through something similar, ‘cause I know what it’s like tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, strouble wake…stroubles; I’ve had…I have troubles…when I have trouble saying trouble, I say strouble.
That’s just one of the…strouble; symbol of my trouble. Reminds me of Tribbles, in some sense, from…and Shrubble. It’s a game I don’t…it’s…oh, that could be…you know how there’s localized versions of Monopoly, and I don’t think they pay…you could say Strouble, it’s a game with the bubble…oh no, Trouble…does Trouble have the bubble dice? Yeah. I always get Trouble and…sorry. I’ve probably done this on an intro before. All the time I get Trouble and Sorry mixed up. Strouble; it’s the combination of Trouble and Sorry. Not affiliated with those companies or whoever…is there…? Here’s a question I don’t think I’ve ever asked before; is there really a Milton Bradley? I would assume there is, or is it Milton and Bradley?
The part…how come Milton Bradley and the Parker Brothers have never been in a Sleep With Me episode? Holy moly. One day. Let me know, ‘cause we gotta get on that. Strouble; it’s a game like Trouble and Sorry, which Scoots assumes are similar, but maybe they’re…I don’t know if…here’s the thing; I don’t know if I’ve ever…I don’t know if I’ve played very much Trouble. I’ve played a lot of Sorry. Oh boy, I mean, that’s my middle name. I mean, I made so many bad choices in my life. I’m a human being, but even on top of that, I tend to do…and so, I’ve said a lot of sorries, made a lot of apologies, and I’ve also played the game Sorry. But I can’t think of the…I can picture Trouble, so I know I played it ‘cause it has the bubble thing and its little round things, versus…Sorry is more of a pawn shape.
Trouble would be better…actually, here’s the thing; I play Sorry, but I’d probably be better with Trouble, ‘cause if I bump the board or whatever, nothing’s gonna happen ‘cause there…those things are…they go into their own holes, right? Trouble; maybe I’ll play it. I’m sorry I don’t know…I’m not familiar. What else? Oh, so whatever it is that’s keeping you awake…oh no, no, you deserve a good night’s sleep. That’s what I was trying to say to you. Sorry about that. But you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a bedtime you could look forward to, and that’s why I make the show. I know how it feels, but I also believe you deserve some rest. You deserve the rest you need to make your life more manageable and that you could be out there flourishing, ‘cause that means the world we live in, the world you’re in will be a better place to be in.
So, that’s important. The way I do it is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, where I go off topic, as we’ve already seen, I get a little bit of strouble in my…I get distracted, I go off topic…pointless meanders and superfluous tangents. So, get confused, then I talk about something else, then I say…I mean, I’m really wondering if Trouble and Sorry are the same and if they’re made by different companies. It’s interesting that the…those two companies are both…seem like they’re names of people. But maybe they’re not. Maybe the Parker Brothers are a fictional…it’s like, maybe one day…I don’t like speculating too much, but we speculate about stuff on the podcast every once in a while. Say well, you had the…you had Zeus and Athena and Hera, Dionysus.
Maybe a thousand years in the future they’ll say oh boy, those people, they were…the Parker Brothers; those were one…and Milton Bradley; those were the gods of leisure and challenging subtextual passive-aggressive ways to express family dynamics and feelings with one another. Board games; it’s how families…it’s how I…you know I’m laughing if you’ve played a board game with your family and you’re on…you share some of my humanity. Board games; it’s how conflicts stay…it’s how…conflicts and board games. Board games; they also are fun, maybe. Thinking about them is fun. Talking about them on a sleep…board games. Speaking of board games, accidental pun, all…I’m here to keep you company so that you could fall asleep.
A couple things to know if you’re new; this is a podcast that really is not for everybody, but even the superfans of the show…and that’s a lot…like, the people that have let me know this, they say it took two or three tries for me to get used to the podcast. First I didn’t like it or it wasn’t for me. So give it a few tries. I’ll explain the reasons why, but you already know this is a little bit different. You say…I’m trying to think of other…what…I don’t know any other…but anyway, so, yeah, this podcast is a little bit different. Takes a couple tries to get used to because of a few things. One, it’s a podcast you just kinda barely listen to. I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff, but I kinda talk in a circuitous way.
I go off topic ‘cause I’m just here to kinda barely be listened to, not to grip your attention or get your attention more than enough to say hey, just look over here and just pay attention to me. I’m like well, what are you doing? I’ve got a piece of Play-Doh in my hands and I’m kinda rolling it…I’m just holding it and nothing major. So, I guess you could kinda just look over here and pay attention, but you don’t really have to. So, it’s just like you’re listening…I mean, some people turn me down to a mumble, some people put me under a pillow, but I’m just here to keep you company. I’m also not here to put you to sleep. There’s no pressure to listen and no pressure to fall asleep. I’m gonna be here for about an hour. There’s, what, 500, 600 episodes in the archives, so you could listen to those if you need them.
I’m here to keep you company whether you’re awake or asleep. I’m here to take your mind off of stuff whether you’re listening or not. So, if you can’t sleep, don’t worry, I’ll be here to the very end, or if you need a break during the day, I’ll be here. But that doesn’t mean you have to pay attention to me, but you…the reason the shows are over an hour…you’ll just fall asleep when you fall asleep. So, those are a couple things. Another thing that throws people off is the structure of the show, and the show is designed in a very deliberate way to try to meet a few different goals. It’s just what’s possible, you know? We can’t do everything for everybody, but we can try, and then you can adjust from there. So, the show starts off with a greeting so you feel seen and welcomed in.
Then there’s support for the show so it can be free, ‘cause a lot of work goes into the podcast, and making it free is because of the sponsors and the people that support it, so that’s cool. Then there’s the intro, which is separate from the support. The intro is a show within a show, has nothing to do with supporting the show. It’s where most people are getting ready for bed or starting their wind-down routine. The intro is a twilight between your evening and falling asleep. It’s a wind down, a landing, having a little distance between the daytime and sleeping time. So, the intro just goes on and on and on. A normal podcast intro, yeah, would be efficient and to the point. Not me, though. So, that’s the intro.
For a lot of listeners, 2% of people skip the intro, but for…some people fall asleep, but for most people it’s part of their bedtime routine whether you’re doing some sort of other chill activity or you’re in bed getting comfortable. That’s why the intro goes on and on and on for about fifteen minutes or so, is to keep you company and, I don’t know, it’s a twilight, twilight period. Also, I’m just not…I mean, when else do we get to talk about strange…my strange mix-ups about…my stroubles? I mean, I just found out I had stroubles and now I get to talk about them. So that’s…what else are we supposed to talk about? Structure of the show…oh, so after the intro is support. Again, sponsor support or listener support so the show could be free. Then there’s Ted Lasso’s holiday episode, Carol of the Bells.
We’ll be talking about it in a very lulling and indirect way, so even if you don’t watch Ted Lasso or even if you say this is out of order…and I’d say yeah, kinda, but this is kind of a unique episode. It’s the best…I mean, one of the best holiday movies I’ve ever seen, to be honest. I’m not even…I’m not…even though it’s not a holiday movie, I would say in my opinion, it’s one of the best holiday movies I’ve ever seen, or a TV show, the holiday specials. I didn’t see it at the holidays. But that has nothing to do with my ranking. Anyway, so that’s the structure of the show. Oh, then there’s thank-yous at the end. That’s why I make the show. I’m really glad you’re here. I really appreciate your time. Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways I get to do this for you for free twice a week.
Hey everybody, it’s time to talk about Ted Lasso. First time we’re doing…I mean, I don’t think it’s the first time in the history of the podcast we’ve done something out of order. This is the Carol of the Bells. It came out because it’s a streaming show, not at the holiday season. Even when I watched it, it was one of the best holiday…I think I talked about it in the intro. It’s one of the best holiday…not just a holiday special, but a really good…it’s almost like a film, and it has homages and everything like we expect with Ted Lasso. But it’s really a piece of solid…particularly solid episode of Ted Lasso. It made me laugh, it made me cry, and it also had beat-boxing. It started off with a Run-DMC song, so I didn’t look it up for later in the episode, so I just pulled it up here. That’s Run-DMC, all in caps. It was…they’re from Hollis, Queens.
That’s the song playing, is Christmas in Hollis, Queens. Founded in ‘83. It was a huge influence on me. Beastie Boys, Public Enemy…it was considered the new-school of hip-hop music, and…highlighting the DJ and the MC kind of relationship. ‘84 was the release of Run-DMC. It was the first hip-hop group to achieve a gold record, then certified platinum with King of Rock, then Raising H-double hockey sticks in ‘86, multi-platinum. Then they had another really popular song that was a cover of Walk This Way with Aerosmith, but it was also kind of a crossover version. Performed at Live Aid…let’s see. Rolling Stone 2004, Number 48 of the Greatest Artists of All Time. Greatest hip-hops…let’s just see if Hollis…Christmas in Hollis, Queens is in here in the history.
Yeah, they were featured in the film Krush Groove, ‘80…that was in ‘85; really? ‘86, teamed up with Rick Rubin. Let’s see, Tougher Than Leather…I don’t know. This is…there’s so much in here. So, I don’t want to get too sidetracked. So check it out for yourself, you know? But that was the song that was playing while they were playing Secret Santa. Colin…let’s see, my…this…we’ll run through my notes, then we’ll watch the episode. Colin; turkey hat, scarf…knitting soothes me. Isaac, Santa…like king on a throne. My…see solo revival…office. May your…see solo…oh, may your Secret Santa reveal themselves. Then we cut to…so first we’re in the locker room with the team, then we go into the office with the staff. What’s on…what’s our record? Oh, there’s something on the wall. I said let me note that, on the whiteboard.
I also didn’t know if this was foreshadowing, but Nate’s hat has Rudolph wearing sunglasses, I think. I said, is that foreshadowing? Santa’s…what does that say? It’s not Tim Xmas. Santa’s birthday…Elton John…Hold Me Closer joke. Oh…well, there’s two Elton John jokes in there, right? Oh no, that’s the one I liked, though. It’s a holiday and an Elton John joke at no one’s expense. More of a silly reference? Double 0 Heaven…Higgins…open house…Higgy Smalls, baby, baby. FaceTime…2D…so, Ted’s talking about how he’s gonna FaceTime with his son on the holidays, and Rebecca’s face…she already knows. So that is a piece of…I don’t know if it’s foreshadowing or empathetic, compassionate performing. I don’t know, or if…I don’t know.
But it really…if you watch Rebecca’s face…this is another episode where there’s more and more details every time. Jamie did not get a Secret Santa gift ‘cause he didn’t understand Secret Santa. They do team wrapping. Then Jamie says god bless me, every one. Then we have something…the opening…oh, claymation-style open of the episode with the whole crew. Then we have a really nice mood-setting sequence, I guess. It’s close-ups of Keeley decorating. There’s a lot of bokeh or whatever. Not Boca Rattan, but that out-of-focus…that’s when lights look their best, in the background, with…both when you see shots of Keeley, but even her decorations. Then dealing chocolates? Oh, so she’s decorating, she has chocolate, she had one other food-based item that wasn’t a dessert, too, I think.
I think there was something else. But yeah, then she tastes some chocolate. Then Phoebe’s at the door with a candy cane, having a candy cane, but she’s not happy. She comes in. Oh, Keeley was preparing for a more adult-based Christmas, ABC. Adult-based Christmas…ABC…ABCA; adult-based Christmas…adult-based…for a unwrapping of gifts, a steamy Christmas. Roy has two piles of boxes, so they’re blocking his view. They say we’ll celebrate a steamy 28th, the steamiest day of the year. Then they do kind of a old-school kiss with the knee up. I don’t even know what you’d call that. I kinda…AK…IKP? The kind of kiss pose? Well, yeah. Let’s move on. Oh, then we go to Higgins’. We see a framed picture of Cindy Clawford, his cat. Surfboard is given…rip it, rip it, his family chants. Elite 2…oh, those were some of the boxes.
The other gifts I saw…an Alesis…I think a synthesizer. The Alesis does make some podcast…not…I heard somebody once was using a Alesis MultiMix. Saxophone…a double question mark…oh, Nerf; Elite 2 Nerf. Sam shows up early, needs to use the restroom. What does Christmas remind you of? Colonization. Sue…something, double exclamation part? Something. We’ll get to it. Oh, oh swears…restroom…close-up ornament. Fax your gifts…mini-dartboard…FaceTime gifts. Mini-dart…this is like parsing out my own…this is like traveling to the past where I was…I’m being confused about my confuse…when I wasn’t confused. It’s kinda like looking around in a dream, looking at my handwriting. Drove…closed? Drone; he gives his…charged it…oh, I love this.
He gives his son a drone, but he says got charged…it’s charged, ready to go, so you could try it out. He just gives the FaceTime to his mother. Again, a very nice little moment of performing or acting, ‘cause she says how are you? Not like that, like in a way…like someone that’s…does it for a job would say; hey, how are you, Ted? Then she says sorry, gotta run, deal with this drone thing. The baseboard…I think she says the baseboard. Did I put it twice? Baker board? Darts don’t stick. Then shout…Phoebe, Roy, and Keeley…Paw Patrol. Problems are like mushrooms. It’s a boy at school…was being mean to me. Not Bernard, not Barnard, but…how would…how do they say it correctly? Not Bernard. Barnard…not Barnard, either. Bernard? Bernard. No. Bernard? Bernard. Bernard. Not Bernard, though. Banard.
Banard? Is that how they say it? I don’t know, ‘cause I’ll have it on mute, so I won't be able to hear it. Rancid…this was really…and I read a lot about this episode to prepare. Apparently if you read…there’s a lot of good articles about this episode. There’s a great LA Times article about it, and I’m not sure which…this…but this is based…I’ll just say this is based on someone’s true experience, but this was the kinda comedy I love, especially when it’s done this way where it’s…I don’t know. It was based in reality, so relatable, everyone’s experience in trying to make it better and making it worse at the same time, and being…trying to be honest and dis…just trying to be human. So…and just great acting, because Keeley…oh also, we could see Keeley’s backyard of her house or her apartment or her flat, and it’s decorated.
Some really good comedy. ‘Cause Keeley’s having…or Phoebe’s having trouble with her breath. There’s a pause…oh, Roy’s look with his eyes…Keeley’s is unbelievable. Then he…Keeley’s…goes in front of him to block Phoebe’s view of Roy, and then he says…Roy comes up with a solution; we’ll go through my posh neighborhood and look for a dentist. Then Sam and what I believe is Higgins’ youngest son are cleaning up. Rocking Sweden…don’t know what that means. Rooting Sweden? Oh no, rocking sweater, the kid has. I think it says rocking something Santa. Sam explains time zones to the…’cause they…this is also…it has a lot of teeny-tiny plots or something that you need in these holiday…does…is there a Santa Claus, is one question, and that is successfully answered different ways. Sam’s one of the people that does that.
It’s not Santa’s speed; it’s his endurance. I got a bicycle. Dani’s at the door next with [inaudible], a little cheeky. Ted drinking and watching It’s A Wonderful Life alone. Sad, forlorn Ted face. Ted hears something; he can’t tell if it’s in the movie or real. He gets up. ‘Hi Ted’ written in tin…is that tinsel? I don’t think it’s called tinsel. It has tinsel on it, but it’s…I forget what it’s…garland? Tinsel garland, I think is…you’ll…Tinsel Garland’s my name. I work for the ROYGBIV Institute. Can somebody remind me of that for 2023? Tinsel Garland’s the name, working for the ROYGBIV Institute of light research approval. That’s my big business I’m gonna have one day. I talk about it on holiday episodes sometimes, just like there’s other things that say oh, this is URL, this is NSF or whatever.
I’m gonna come up with the ROYGBIV Institute and then you could get…oh no, these lights are ROYGBIV Institute-approved. What does that even mean? It means that Tinsel Garland…they’re approved by the Tinsel Garland Method, is what it means, obviously. Okay, so it says hi, Ted. Hubris…oh boy, let’s look that up while we’re here. You know, I did minor in Classics and my average was D, so I’m vaguely familiar with hubris and miasma. Those are the two things I…words I retained but didn’t retain their meaning from minoring in Classics, though the one thing I did…the biggest thing I retained, no joke, from minoring in Classics, which was only because I was taking Latin; I had to take four semesters of Latin in order to graduate, which didn’t go well.
But I managed to graduate…was that oh, you need, whatever, eight or ten credits to…or not credits, but whatever class equivalent…I don’t know, to minor in something. So I said well, I’ll minor in Classics. Might as well; I’m more than halfway there. But the enthusiasm of the professors teaching Classics…now, Latin…teaching a language is much diff…more different…difficult in a different way. But teaching these classics, even though it was hard for me to absorb a lot of it, I just remember a few of the professors being so in love with these stories, and it just touched me. But okay, hubris is pride, insolence, outrage, excessive pride, dangerous overconfidence and arrogance, which is kinda what I thought it was, but I thought…and miasma’s like what rains down on you. No, I’m just kidding.
I don’t know why those are the two words that stuck with me. I mean, hubris gets used way more than…yeah, okay, we could look up miasma. Why not? If I could ever spell it. M-I…mias…one A, though. Miasma. M-I-A-S-M-A. We just want plain old miasma, not…there’s a bunch of other…yeah, here we go. Okay, in Greek mythology, miasma is a power that has a independent life of its own. It’s got…oh boy, this…I guess we can’t…it’s…it can rub off on you, I guess. Attempts to cleanse something from miasma may have the opposite effect of reinforcing it. Talk about my life story. Try me…try me…it’s Ted…something. Let’s go back to my confusing notes. Coat and hat…something, something, Donald Duck…oh, it could be…well, do I need my Donald Duck suit? Rebecca…go calm. So calm, Rebecca is.
Last Christmas; we hear some buskers playing that. A little bit more foreshadowing…we see Rebecca’s bankroll, beat-boxing…talk about the musical Once. There’s amazing sunlight. I don’t know what time of year they shot this, but it was definitely…this was shot at magic hour. It just gives…it just has a look. Okay, song list…I looked that up for later. Drove self…inside joke…inside him…tower bridge…Roy’s neighborhood. All have…oh, so this is…I liked…again, this is only…I noticed this on the fifth watch. When they’re going through Roy’s posh neighborhood, Roy, Keeley, and Phoebe…in different parts of their body or their clothing…no, ‘cause Phoebe has it on her head. Maybe Keeley does, too. I don’t know…but they’re wearing these pink, tinsely ribbons or tinsely decorations.
Poofs, I’d call them. They have some…what is that? Iridescence to them. Really nice and really…I’m not kidding; I said, I like that. It really unifies them. So, bravo. I mean, multiple bravos, not just a way…I don’t know, to all the people…the crew working behind the scenes on the sets. Holy decorating and…what are those…wardrobe. I was gonna say costumes, but wardrobe and all that. Okay, Roy’s neighborhood, matching ribbons. Roy, Phoebe, and Keeley. Kid can…oh, this kid…they go to the first house and it’s not a…no Dennis, but the kid can relate to Roy’s having too much ice cream story. Then we go back to Higgins’ house. There’s Nerf action movie action going on. Oh, then…who is it? His name’s not Gerard. It’s…I don’t know, but he’s playing FIFA with somebody, and I think it was Liverpool versus PSG.
Oh, which would make sense, but he’s from…he’s…I know where he’s from. I’ll look it up later, but I don’t think he’s from Paris. I thought he was from…I don’t know. So then Ricard, why’d you bring a date? Oh, Ricard’s his name; not whatever I was confused about. Why’d you bring a date? Well, you know, this is something we…it’s not always true, though. More and more players start showing up to the house. Where’s everybody gonna sit? Ted and Rebecca do a bag of toys delivery. There’s a pink bike at the house. Oh, Ted had had a Santa hat on earlier and Rebecca said keep the hat on. I like that look. She has a elf hat on with imitation ears. Letter to Santa…we got your letter to Santa. Ted has a long, amazing…I mean, not super-long, but a good story about why they’re running late.
That was what the hat was foreshadowing, maybe. Smell of the Himalayas. I’ll have to look at the doll. The girl says am I getting notes of something? Ted has cool red shoelaces that match his Santa hat. Montage of…this was great, especially for hardcore Sleep With Me listeners. There’s no knocking on the doors because it’s called Carol of Bells. So they have this amazing…first it’s a montage and then it’s weaved in of doorbell ringing. Keeley actually presses one doorbell with her palm which is incredibly intelligent, because those doorbells are…you’d…you could strain your finger on them. So Higgins opens…house ten…Roy’s knee off…yeah, yeah. Yeah…night…oh, it’s nighttime now. Phoebe; congrats. Breathing exercises. Dauphine…she rescued us. That must be a line from a movie.
Antihistamines…heavy own…the cat…oh, the heavy…heavy own the cat. But no, Keeley’s like, you’re gonna come up with another solution. The science is real. Then the ussie kid is there. That was another thing I learned from one of the articles, is that this…the dentist is actually the ussie kid’s mom in real life, I think. I haven’t learned about the ussie kid other than that…is this just a inside joke or is it a writer on the show? Or is that a thing? Then everybody’s…there’s prodigious…prodigious? Is that the right word? A lot of Christmas crackers going on. This is a little bit of a letdown for me, is…I used to buy Christmas crackers at TJ Maxx, and what I liked about it is that usually they have three or four different brands, and so, I could buy a few different boxes of different ones.
So then you’d have…usually they come four to a box, I think, are the ones I was getting, or eight to a box or six to a box, or something to a box. Probably six or four or three or…yeah. So, then you’d have some selection. But the last couple years, I’ve either just not timed it correctly or they haven’t been there. Yeah, so if you live near me, don’t buy any…if you see Christmas crackers at TJ Maxx, don’t buy them, but also send me a message to tell me they’re in stock. Okay…oh, there’s amazing long…or, I don’t know, is that called a long shot where the camera slowly pulls out across a whole long, long table? I thought it was amazing. Then I think it’s…Jason Sudeikis was a fan of that shot from another film. Phoebe cheers. Roy gets idea…oh, they get…’cause they pick up her new meds.
100 quid…Ted happy…Rebecca did not do this last year. She could relate to Ted’s feelings. Ted could have gone to the dark side watching too much Wonderful Life. No Elton’s party…other…I have another idea. Ted, should I drive? Other side. Another doorbell. It’s Barnard…Barnard’s. Barnard’s. I almost had it. Barnard. I think that’s it. Bernard. No, Bernard or Bernard. Bernard. I think it’s Bernard. Bernard’s. That’s not it. It’s definitely not Bernard’s. Bernard. I think it’s Bern…that doesn’t sound right to me. Hello, Bernard. But I think it…Bernard. Bernard. Barnard. It’s definitely not Barn…that’s like barnyard. I would remember that. Barnard; no. How would they say it in Ronkonkoma? I don’t know. Talk about putting me on the spot. Barnard. Barnard. I don’t know how they’d say it in Ronkonkoma. Man, this is embarrassing.
I wish I could…this is where I wish I could deliver. But yeah, I’m not…I’m just trying to think of an…I’m so on the spot, I can’t think of a Ronkonkoma word right now. So…’cause usually I have a word I can get into Ronkonkoma with. It’s like school or something, but I can’t remember the word. So anyway, moving on. Maybe it’ll come back. Barnard. Barnard. Forty-eight…they have a sequence…I guess apparently again I learned this after. It’s been a while since I saw that. It’s not Last Christmas. It’s that movie about…Once in Love at the Holidays in London? I may have written it…did I write it down? I don’t know. Everybody’s a big fan of it and I just know a bunch of people fall in love. Once…no. I can’t remember the name of the movie. I know everybody…people are a big fan of it.
It’s just that for me, I’m not…it’s not…I’m not saying I’m not a fan of it. I’ll probably watch it this season. Up until this year, I was like, is that a age-appropriate film for my daughter or not? I mean, I romanticize everything, so do I really need to romanticize romance, especially at the holiday season? Oh, I almost thought of it. I know my…I remember my brother bought it probably in like 2010, or maybe even before that, because it was before I got sober and I remember him saying we’re gonna watch…oh, we’re gonna watch…I almost had it there. We’ll think of it. It has an…title that…like, every human probably knows it except for me. But I can’t think of it. Thoughtful amends…oh, he has to make thoughtful amends and…or deal with Roy and Keeley. I forgive you. I’m sorry, Phoebe.
The three…this was a nice shot; the three of them walk hand-in-hand with…in the snow with slow motion, which I didn’t realize was symbolizing that their story is now concluded for this episode. Then Higgins makes this beautiful speech, which we’ll go over. But some…the family were born with…and we make along the way. Feedback outside…oh, there’s feedback outside, feedback from…like audio feedback. There’s a…then we got a kid in the window shot, Higgins’ youngest son, which is I feel like a classic holiday shot. Higgins’ bass…oh, he bring…I spelled bass wrong. So it was like, calling Higgins’ bass was…I just wrote ‘Higgins’ bass’ and then I thought…it made me think of Higgins, and I was calling Higgins’ base, calling Higgins’ base. Do you read me, Higgins’ base? Instead of bass, like the music bass. So, don’t worry, Higgins’ base.
I’m not…Higgins’ base, do you read me? We read you, Scooter. You’re confused. Thank you, Higgins’ base. Over and out, ‘cause it was Higgins…I wasn’t…I was actually calling…Higgins was carrying Higgins’ bass. There’s snow, there’s dancing. Ted’s singing in a bassy way. Rebecca’s singing in a more soulful way. Ted’s also on the bells. We see the real Santa, or Higgins’ youngest son sees it, which was a nice…I mean for…I don’t know. I liked it. Then the singing and the dancing go through the…Baby, Please Come Home is a song, which we’ll go through the playlist, but the credits roll with the action of the dancing and the singing, and then it freezes at some point and then kinda changes from a still shot to a iconic Christmas card image. The episode comes to a close. Let’s do some facts first, if I can.
Let’s see…holiday…oh, okay, this thing hasn’t updated, so give us a minute here. Okay, Carol of the Bells…see a couple things I wanted to look up. Here’s the music list from this episode, or the songs. I found this on Lassoism. Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to sing there. I’ll just cut that out. But okay, Mele Kalikimake is the right way for me to not say that. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, Little Saint Nick, I’ll Be Home for Christmas…oh, it was Bing Crosby and the Andrews Sisters. Ella Fitzgerald, Beach Boys, Dean Martin. Last Christmas by Wham! played by…the song, but it’s…the street buskers are playing that. Santa Baby with Eartha Kitt, Beginning to Look A Lot Like Christmas; Harry Connick Jr., Carol of the Bells by John Williams. So, I wonder if that was the one from Home Alone.
Up on the Housetop, Fairytale of New…oh, Up on the Housetop, John Swanson, then the Pogue’s Fairytale of New York, then Christmas, Baby Please Come Home. Well, this is by Mariah Carey? I thought it was Darly in Love. But anyway, maybe both? I don’t know. So, that’s that episode there. Oh no, so that’s that. Lagos, Guadalajara, Groningen, Cordone, Montreal, Benin City, Arara, Kingston, and Santa Cruz…Santa Cruz de la Sierra are the hometowns of all the players. It looked…oh, 100 quid is $116.63 currently when I’m recording this. I looked up some of the areas they were walking around, maybe, but let’s see. We gotta get through the episode too, so let’s play the episode and then we’ll come back if we need to. Let’s see here. Oh boy. Make sure I got the…hey everybody, how you doing?
Just making sure I got the subtitles so I can see any dialogue. Obviously I can’t read my writing, so…alright, so here we go. Colin loves his scarf. Okay, subtitles are not playing, though. Huh, interesting. They should be playing. Could be on our own here. Isaac tells Dani to come up. Huh, no subtitles here. Give me a minute here. That’s not gonna be helpful. Subtitles…okay, I’ve switched it up. Okay, Nate…this is a photo of us. So, Nate gives Coach a photo of those two after the first win, hugging. Like the…what do you call it? Higgins likes the idea of Secret Santa and…what do you call that? What is that? What else is it called, Secret Santa? Oh, and half-day. Jane and Beard are going to a festival, but they broke…they’ve broken up. We’re going as friends. Nate’s gonna spend time with his family.
Keeley and Roy are doing a steamy Christmas. Swinging, Sinatra, Vegasy-style Christmas for adults. Oh, martinis. That’s the other thing she’s trying that…and then Rebecca comes in. Oh, talking about steamy Christmas, eh? Let’s get a drink for you. Going to a friend’s house. Elton John…whoa. Ted has this great joke. Yeah, we’ll sing carols at the piano. Rachel Weiss and Daniel Craig to a puppet show. Higgins is gonna have players over…open house for people to have family in town. Usually get about two players. You’re welcome to join, Ted. Henry wakes up in about an hour…FaceTime…and lovely afternoon. So this is the morning and then there’s a afternoon. Merry Christmas. Jamie does not have a gift. They wrap up something Ted…a bottle Ted had. A little picnic dust…or picnic dust; pixie dusk.
Jamie says god bless you…god bless me, everyone. His hair is slicked back now, so he doesn’t have that little boy haircut. Then we go first Ted then Rebecca, then Higgins, then Jamie, Roy, Beard, and Nate and Keeley. They’re sitting in the D. then we have the bokeh of Keeley’s decorating. Pretty cool craft idea of using…what are those called? Skittles? No. What’s that game called? Scattergories? I don’t know. That word game with the word tiles. I don’t know. Roy’s name is spelled out. Spelling in…Scrabble; that’s what it’s called. Scrabble tiles. Keeley opens the door. It looks like Phoebe had just started on the candy cane. Roy comes in. Holy cow…Roy’s reactions are always very well done. Sorry, can’t spend holidays with your mum. She’s been down this week but doesn’t want to talk about it. Roy’s got to work on Boxing Day.
Keeley’s busy on the 27th, so the 28th. Steamiest of all days. Cindy Clawford, surfboard…and presentation to the kid. Who could it be? What could it be? Surfboard I asked for. Rip it, rip it, rip it. Then…okay, guests are coming in an hour. Sam’s there early. Welcome, welcome. I was in the neighborhood; I gotta use the restroom. This reminds me of me. Come on in, Sam. Got some food; mince pies, mulled wine, all the favorites. Kids are sitting there. Another one of the kids says hey, Sam. He dropped some…says yeah, forget about that. Good job; I’m being an activist, Sam. Can I use the restroom? Okay. Then we go back to FaceTime Christmas. Oh, we see an ornament at Ted’s house; Santa in a glass. Ted opens up his tiny dartboard…or my giant…and then his kid also has a sweater on.
I can’t believe…don’t worry. I gave you a charged drone, buddy. The kid’s got a snow globe sweater on. Then we see Ted’s ex, and it’s a great little moment. She still has her PJs on, it seems like. Oh, I guess…yeah, ‘cause it’s the next morning there. I didn’t even think about that. Or is…? No…I don’t know. No, wait a second, it’s morning there. It’s afternoon? Yeah, it’s -8, where California’s like -8 or -9. So, yeah. Okay, then Ted realizes his darts don’t stick. He’s like oh boy, this is gonna be a long day. Then we go to the…Phoebe, let’s talk about it. We can make this better. Did something happen on Paw Patrol? No. Let’s talk about it. Keeley still has her same outfit on, but she has a robe on. Roy has a suit on. Man, he’s really fancy. Bernard or Bernard, whatever, Barnard. Barnard. No, Bernard. Bernard, right? Bernard.
He’s not nice to Phoebe; talks about her breath. Then again it goes…such a good storytelling, even…and it’s a true story, too, but it’s like…you just gotta watch the episode. I don’t want to give too much away. Just trust me. Oh, that’s where we see Keeley’s backyard. There’s light-up stuff. It looks like a comfortable chair. She’s got a lot of…she’s got an…a…one Christmas tree…a lot of good set decoration of the lighting in her place. They don’t have on the poofs that I was talking about yet, so that’s an interesting observation I made for the first time. Oh no, Keeley does. So, Keeley has it as kind of a headband-type…not a headband, but something in her hair. But Roy and Phoebe do not at this point. Ten houses are…give each a thousand pounds.
Then Sam and the little kid are cleaning up, having fun, and talking about Santa. No, there is a Santa, dude. Santa…the good…that’s why there’s twenty-four time zones. Santa’s endurance. Then more players at the door, along with Ricard’s date. Dani, [inaudible], and you could be cheeky and add some tequila. Already cheeky. Pre-cheekied, he says. Foie gras, champagne, and stinky cheese. Ooh la la. Fried chicken…is that a tradition of Holland? No, but fried chicken’s delicious. Then we see It’s A Wonderful Life. Ted’s having some whiskey. Small, though, so I don’t…I wouldn’t worry about Ted, though. Just, he’s down, not really having…he’s having…he’s just having…he’s down. He’s not drinking, I don’t…yeah. I wouldn’t worry about it.
Yeah, I mean, I don’t think he’d be a coach…he would…he’d have trouble being himself. Then I wouldn’t even…if it was me, just to say…I wouldn’t answer if somebody was knocking outside. I’d just…the blinds would already be closed. Then if Rebecca texts me, I’d say oh, sorry, you missed me. I was out doing something. I wasn’t at home, even though maybe you’re…I left the TV on, if you heard anything. But then I would probably sneak out to eat something or get…resupply, and then Rebecca…oh no, sorry. So, then Ted and Rebecca are walking in Ted’s neighborhood. We see the buskers. They get…you get Whammed or whatever if you haven’t been Whammed yet. I don’t understand if you can get…I don’t think you can get Whammed by a cover, in my opinion, but I’m no expert.
‘Cause I don’t…I’m like man, give me George Michael whenever, or…I like other versions of that, too. Rebecca drops her bankroll. Merry Christmas, y’all. This is when the light is really good. Now we do see…now it make…this technically does make sense time-wise, ‘cause yeah, now the same time of day. Okay, now I’m seeing some good continuity that I didn’t even get to notice. Now they all have their ribbons. It’s the first house. Roy Kent, you gonna sing? Is your mom and dad a dentist? No, lawyers. Okay. I did look up flats in this neighborhood and they’re…it’s kinda like Bay Area prices or New York City prices for a condo or a house. So…but we’ll figure this out. We’re gonna make it better. Roy tells a relatable story…the kid, and Phoebe can relate to in different ways. Let’s get over that…Roy’s collar’s up.
He looks cool…of his jacket. He’s got more of a raincoat than a winter coat. Then we have the Nerf action shots, like a movie. Dani has an ultra…Zoreaux has two blues, but they get caught by the kid and they eat Nerf. Then yeah, it’s Liverpool versus PSG. One of Higgins’ children is quite taken with Ricard’s date. This is always a good thing. I don’t know the Holland guy’s name. I’m sorry. But he says is it always a good thing? Higgins is suddenly popular. More players show up. We got plenty of food and drink. I don’t know where everybody’s gonna sit though, but that sets up the sound…the long shot. Okay, then we pop Rebecca’s hatchback or back of her SUV. It’s a big bag of gifts, Santa-style bag. They go up to the door and make a delivery and say yeah, we work for Santa Claus. Got this letter. Pink…red writing on a pink paper.
Sorry your presents didn’t come last night, but Mr. and Mrs. Claus tasked us with delivering them. Yeah, Rudolph’s nose is so bright, put these in the wrong…yeah, wrong sled. But been around the world at least twice over. The smell of Himalayas…oh, Beijing. Notes of Beijing. They say merry Christmas, merry Christmas. Onto the next house. Ted’s hands are in his pockets. Then we have a door…the Carol of the Bells sequence starts. One, two, three different doorbells and four different houses, different…five…house ten, Uncle Roy. Roy’s knee’s starting to bother him. The tenth…well, it’s the tenth house for them, but also…I don’t know, I forgot how many doorbells I had counted. Whoa, are you Roy Kent? You a dentist? Yeah. Can we come…? They just go right in though. Can we come in? Yeah. Only be a minute.
Lovely house. She puts on…she’s…she goes okay, Phoebe, got some serious breath there. Let me see if I can…what’s…she goes oh no, I’m not stressed. I do breathing exercises. Have you been smoking? No. Anything else? Antihistamines? We got a new cat, Dauphine. She rescued us. Well, Phoebe, that’s it. That’s dry mouth. That’s what happens…thriving. Au revoir to Dauphine. No. Yeah, Roy says. Then Keeley says no, we’ll find another solution. We’ll work together, between the dentist and your uncle. Doctor Rogers. Science is real, so come up with something else. Then we see the ussie kid and a bunch of other kids. Maybe the…I mean, maybe the other kids at the table are…I don’t know, other writers’ kids? I don’t know. Then we go to Higgins. We get the long shot. Zoom out? I don’t know. Is that what it’s called? A pull-back?
I don’t even know how they do that with…is it just with a lens? Oh, we do see a pool table, surfboard…okay. So we do get a answer to that question, too. Then we’re at the pharmacy. New meds for Phoebe. Isn’t it…feel better that you didn’t bother Barnard or whatever? Barnard. Bernard. Barnard, maybe. Another hundred quid. Give me some poster-board and markers. This is the one that’s a reference to the movie, which I almost remember the name again, but I didn’t. We have Ted and Rebecca. Night has fallen, but I guess it had already fallen in the other scenes, but…Rebecca says yeah, last year I didn’t hand out gifts because I was down about my situation. I was planning not nice stuff. So, I wanted to make sure you were okay. Ted says yeah, it could have been ugly, watching…just watching It’s A Wonderful Life and drinking whiskey.
You’re gonna go to Elton John’s? I don’t know. Yeah, so they say, any other ideas? She goes oh, yeah. Want me to drive? Steering wheel’s on the other side, Ted. Okay. Then another doorbell; that’s Bernard’s house, and it’s with the sign…with the written sign. Guess I’m gonna have to…oh, I almost remembered it, but not anymore. Huh. It’s got five or six words in it. It’s like…it’s more…Love Actually. I guess it’s only two words. I just thought of it. I’m not even kidding. Said, I knew it had something to do with love or romance. That’s it, I think; Love Actually. Maybe a question mark? Maybe an ellipses and then a question mark? But that’s the movie, Love Actually, I think. I’m like, 90% sure. I think I thought of it before. I was like no, that can’t be it. I thought it was five words.
That’s why I kept…so, for a dyslexic, I’m always looking for the sight words. So, I was looking for a picture with five words. Okay, now Higgins makes his speech. Thanks, everybody, for coming. Family Higgins…everybody cheers. He says, I’m gonna cry. To Julie, my sons, and to all your families, Lagos, Guadalajara, Groningen, Cordone, Montreal, Benin City, Harare, Kingston, and Santa Cruz de la Sierra. Sure you would have been…rather with your family, but this…I get choked up. I can’t keep…this is one when every time the doorbell rang, the first two times I watched it, I got choked up, ‘cause I don’t know, I guess so much of this show is about being a human being and then connecting with other human beings. Then we see the singing outside, more…everything’s decorated to the nines outside.
There’s snow coming down, there’s singing…watching it fall. Lots of people around. Baby, Please Come Home. They’re singing Deck the Halls, but it ain’t like Christmas at all, ‘cause I remember when you were here, all that fun that we had last year at Christmas. Pretty lights on the tree, and I’m watching them shine. Oh, you should be here with me. Baby, please come home. Then Santa goes by. The camera pulls up into a shot. People are still dancing. I think Sam’s playing the guitar. I’m pretty sure Sam was playing acoustic guitar. Let me just check that, ‘cause Sam had on a grey shirt. I think it’s covered up by the thing, or a grey jacket. Let’s see if I can catch it in another shot here. Okay, yeah, I think so. Huh. If he had on a grey…okay, I thought he had on a grey camouflage…I’m pretty sure jacket. Anyway, everybody’s dancing and boogeying down, having fun. Then it goes to slow mo, then it freezes and goes to the Christmas card. That’s the end of the episode. Happy holidays, everybody. Thanks for being here, and thanks for being here, and goodnight.
[END OF RECORDING]