1120 – Water Bearers | Nuns in Space S3 E9

Notable Language:

• The Nangerine
• Casper au Naturel
• Micro Joy Break

Notable Culture:

• Skyrim
• Scrooged
• Mario / Luigi / Nintendo

Notable Talking Points:

• Nana Specific Citrus
• With Water-Based Power comes something
• Maximizing Friendship

Episode 1120 – Water Bearers | Nuns in Space S3 E9

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, soda machines…traditional soda machines, freestyle soda machines, and even homemade…even people that…even if…the…what…the tools you use to make your soda at home, whether you got carbonate…whether…I don’t know. You might be confused. This is…that one petered out…I said, what…you know what’d be good for a Sleep With Me analogy, especially for this episode, Nuns in Space? Some sort of soda machine in…nope. Petered out quick. Those bubbles…flat as my soda on a summer afternoon after sitting outside for four hours. It’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that’s here to…if you’re new, I’m so glad you’re here.

 

Give this show a few tries. See how it goes. I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. The reason I make the show and the reason the…a lot of people that are regular listeners listen along is ‘cause it gets lonely for us in the deep, dark night, and the fact is you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a place you can rest, so I’m here to keep you company, but you don’t need to listen to me, and you’ll probably already figure…you say, if this is what I’m dealing with…so, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff because you deserve a good night’s sleep. The way the show works is we’re gonna start off with some support.

 

That’s how we come out free twice a week, then there will be an intro that’ll go on and on and on and not make any sense, and then there will be our bedtime story. It’s episodically modular, so you can listen to it in any order. It’s about a freestyle soda machine in space and so much more. I think that’s it. I’m out of metaphors. Well, I started with no metaphors and I finished with none, ‘cause it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. Thanks for making it possible, my patron peeps.

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, things on your mind that you’re thinking about, about the past, the present, the future. So thoughts…so thoughts you’re thinking about; thoughts, thinking stuff.

 

Thoughts, feelings, anything you’re feeling physically, so anything that’s coming up for you physically or emotionally you’re feeling in your feelings, you know, about the past, present, the…about the thoughts, about the physical feelings, or about the emotions. It could be changes in time or temperature, routine, travel, guests, stuff…you could have something coming up or you could have just gone…you could be going through something. Whatever it is that’s keeping you up, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so that you could fall asleep. I’m here to be here, to be your friend in the deep, dark night. Yeah, that’s what I’m here for. What is…what else? I’m so confused; it’s been like a week since I recorded a intro. So, I’m a little flat, to use that soda metaphor again.

 

So whatever’s keeping you awake, I’m here to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company so you could fall asleep, yeah. The reason I make the show…I talked about it at the beginning, but I want to talk about it again; you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a place you could get some rest and get the sleep you need, because your life’s gonna be better. It’s gonna be more manageable. Now, I don’t know if this show can provide it. Sleep With Me is a show…kinda takes a few tries to get used to. It’s different. Even though this was the first sleep podcast, it’s different than most other stuff in a sense of I’m just here to keep you company, not really to put you to sleep or to be listened to. I’m your friend in the deep, dark night.

 

But if you get that sleep you need, your life is gonna be better, our world will be a better place. The other reason I make the show and a lot of people listen is because we know how it feels in the deep, dark night, all that stuff I listed earlier or more. Now, not everybody might know or been through exactly what you’re dealing with, whatever’s keeping you up, but a lot of us can relate to how it feels, and that’s important too because…well, it might go too far to say we understand. We understand how it feels and what it’s like, and that kinda connects us. I know a lot of regular listeners are kinda nodding. As they’re nodding off, they’re nodding and saying uh-huh, I don’t…yeah, I think Scoots was talking about…I don’t know what he was talking about, but I can relate. Uh-huh, uh-huh.

 

So, that’s why we make the show. So what I’ll do is I’ll send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. So that means my voice is not traditionally soothing. Creaky, dulcet tones are more here to keep you company. It’s just a friendly voice in the deep, dark night. You know, I’ll try to keep the pace and the tone down. But really, I’m just here to tell you some stories and go off…or try to tell you a story, then go off topic, then get mixed up. So, I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night.

 

I’ll send my voice…oh, pointless meanders and superfluous tangents mean I tend to get in…stuck in repetitive thoughts, then I’ll think of something else, then I’ll go back to…then I won't remember what I’m going back to, then I’ll go on a tangent about something, then I’ll say, have I said…I’m sure I’ve said this before, but tangent…tangerine tangents. Have I gone on a tangerine tangent before? I don’t know if I have. You know, I’d have to look at…here’s the thing; how are tangerines feeling about the rise of mandarins in the…are mandarins and…? I mean, this is not…I’m not joking. None of this is a joke. I don’t know if mandarins and tangerines are the same thing. I would say they’re at least all in the citrus family.

 

I would say the orange family, but that’s probably…they’d say no, there’s a orange, there’s a tangerine, and there’s a mandarin, then there’s mandarin orange. What about a plum…you know, they’ve…you know, the stone fruits are always get…how come you can’t throw a tangerine in there with a plum and a…? You got your plots, your apriplums, apparange. Nanger apple. Nanger…no, that doesn’t make sense, ‘cause you say, is that an apple? Nangerine. What’s that? I don’t…it’s when my nana eats a tangerine. I call it the nangerine. That’s what I call it when I’ve come in the room after she’s had a nanger…is it a tan…? No, it’s a tangerine. After she’s had a tangerine, and it smell…I say, oh, she’s got a little tangerine juice on her. I say, there’s my nangerine.

 

I’m the only one that laughs, ‘cause then I say, is…what’s it called, a nangerine? This is a tangerine tangent for sure, so I don’t think this is the first time, ‘cause that has such great alliteration that I would hope I…in 1,100 episodes I said oh, tangerine and tangent. There’s probably someone out there that’s like, this is the most terrible tangerine tangent I’ve…The Case of the Terrible Tangerine Tangent, Episode whatever, 12, 11, 20, 40 or whatever. So, those…that’s how I go off topic and get mixed up. It just happens naturally. I don’t know, I wouldn’t…I don’t know, maybe I would mind. I mean, let’s see, what would go best, a plum, a nectarine, and a tangerine; they have…a nectanan…nan…nectananda…nan and tang…nananectarine; that’s a nectarine my nana’s eating. Tanganectarine. Nangetangerine.

 

Nangetangerine; that’s like chim chiminey, chim chiminey, chim, chim, cher-ee. Nange, nange, nangetange…tangenangerine. Oh, boy. This is where I get stuck in the stuff, ‘cause I can’t stop…nangetangerine. If I ever have magic, I wouldn’t be able to cast it ‘cause I’d say, is it tangenangerine or nangetangerine? Hocus Pocus 7: Miscast. Miscast: A Hocus Pocus Fan Musical. Nange…is it tangenangerine? Nangetangerine. Quick, cast the citrus spell. Okay, so…okay, so where was I? Go off on tangents…oh, a couple of things you need to know about the show you probably already figured out; one, is this is a podcast you don’t really listen to. Really? You’re kidding me, right? It’s not chock full of facts and figures and interesting stuff? You say no, it’s mildly interesting. Maybe you were even saying…I mean, you’re right.

 

I’m not gonna Google it, but is there a reason…and then of course people that know stuff about plants are like, of course there’s a reason. That’s a woody tuber and that’s a non-woody tuber. They can never be cross…whatever, amalgamated. I’d say well, I’m talking about fruit…what’s the person…? I’m a fruit alchemist. I’m not working…I’m working outside the bounds and limitations of Earth. I’m gonna put one of the…each one of those in a particle collider and then my cauldron of magic powers. Maybe even one of those things alchemists use, whatever those are called. Maybe in like, Skyrim. You say, you can’t put that there. I say well, I just did, so…hoo boy. So, those are…what was I saying? Oh, a couple things to know…oh, this is a podcast you don’t really listen to.

 

I’m here to…you can just kinda barely listen, like I said. You say uh-huh, plots, apriplums, those are things that exist for sure. So, that’s that. This is also a podcast that doesn’t put you to sleep. I talked about that earlier. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep, to take your mind off of stuff, to be your bore-friend, your bore-bud, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bestie, your bore-bor, your neigh-bore, your bore-bruh. I’m here to keep you company and be your friend in the deep, dark night. So, those are two things, and a lot of people, it takes time to get used to the show ‘cause they get here with expectations. Understandably you did not expect me to go on a tangerine tangent.

 

Even if you did, you’d say you know, if I had a tan…I’d expect it to be bright and citrus-colored and make some sort of sense and not devolve into alchemy, because I don’t even think you’re using…you’re not even using…and I say, you’re right. You’re right; I was thinking of the person that can turn gold into…water into gold or whatever, which is a apt metaphor for this episode. No water will be turned into gold, but what was the thing? So, you don’t really listen to me and…oh, take your mind off of stuff…there was something else I was trying to…oh, give it a few tries and see how it goes.

 

That’s what — if not hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people have told me — probably over a million people have said first I didn’t like the show or you, or I didn’t…it didn’t make any sense or I kept waiting for it to get started, and then I listened a few more times or I came back after a year or two and I said oh, okay, now I get it. So, give it a few tries, see how it goes. If you’re already giving it a few tries and you’re frustrated or you’re listening and you’re frustrated in a strong way where you’re like, I don’t think I’m gonna get that I don’t need to get this, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou has other stuff you could check out, sleep podcasts and sleepy audio. So give it a few tries. Give it a few tries, it doesn’t put you to sleep, here to keep…oh, structure of the show.

 

That’s another thing that throws people off, and our structure of podcast is deliberate because of some of the goals for the show. One of the goals is for you to seen…feel seen and welcomed in. So, we start off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and then I say something goofy so you say okay, I could probably check this podcast out. Then another goal is the podcast is free, or paying for it is optional, ‘cause not everybody’s in a position to be able to support the show, and most people like the show coming out twice a week on the regular. So, to do that, that’s our sponsors and our listener support, so that comes next. Then there’s support for listeners that are having a tough time right now so you have a resource, and then there’s support for communities around the show.

 

So, that’s the support part of the podcast, then there’s the intro, which we’re like, twenty minutes into. A lot of people…oh no, we’re only like…I looked; it’s like, twelve minutes in. So, the thing about the intro, a lot of people, they either…they’re like…they don’t like the support for the show or the intro. It doesn’t meet their expectations, understandably. The intro is here for a very specific reason. Now, you can skip it. 2% or 3% of people do, and then there’s people that listen…subscribers that listen to story-only episodes, but just as many people listen to all-intro episodes. So kinda see how it goes. But the intro serves as a buffer between your day and being asleep. It’s meant to ease you into bedtime and to be a slow lowering of the volume.

 

Instead of like, me counting down from ten and then expecting you to go…be to sleep, that doesn’t work for me. Having a bedtime routine, having a wind down is what’s worked for me and is something that has been shown to work, is to ease you into bedtime. Now, there are people falling asleep right now, and we’re happy for them. But for most listeners, the intro is just one part of the show and it’s kinda the twilight part of the show. So, that’s the intro, then again there’s more support between the intro and the story so the show could be free twice a week, and then there will be our story.

 

Sorry…sorry…I don’t know where those…it’s like I fell into some sort of fantastical dialogue there. Sorry…my sorry…it’s a story, and that…so there will be our…a story, and that’ll be like forty-five, fifty minutes long, and then the show ends with some thank-yous and goodnights. So that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show. I’m really glad you’re here and I really hope the podcast…I yearn and I strive, so I really hope it can help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and yeah, that’s it. I’m really glad you’re here and this is how we’re able to be here for you free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, Scoots here, and it’s time for our episodically modular series, Nuns in Space, and I’ll explain what the show is, what you need to know. Really nothing, is the great thing. Episodically modular means you can listen to these episodes in any order, ‘cause it’s just a basic setup. You say well, I don’t know about that; I’m a completist. I say okay, well, this is then like Star Wars or whatever, where they started with Episode…this is Episode 9, I believe. But the show’s so episodically modular that it might not be 9. I might move stuff around. But you say okay, then Episode 9, 10, 11, and 12 are the main series, and then 1 through 8 are a prequel…a series of prequels that are also episodically modular. Yeah. So, that means you can listen in any order, no pressure.

 

Nuns in Space is a tale of a freestyle soda machine who is our heroic figure, Stan. Stan is caught in a loop, some sort of loop. I don’t think it’s a metaverse loop, ‘cause Stan seems to be staying in the same universe which is our universe, the great, vast universe, galaxy, existence we’re in, though a little bit in our future. I can’t explain…only the power of fiction could enable me to tell something that hasn’t happened yet. So, Stan is a heroic figure. Stan’s caught in a loop where every time…this is a episodically modular part. In every episode, Stan comes to awareness somewhere in the galaxy or the universe where Stan is trying to help. Stan’s trying to help, but Stan’s used to having his sidekick named Scooter to help Stan solve things.

 

Stan’s usually helping with some sort of situation that involves concentrated delusion, but Stan doesn’t know that either at the time. Stan just knows there’s an issue. Again, you say okay, there’s a case of spilled milk, so Stan would say, how are we gonna clean this milk up? Or, no reason to…let me soothe you. It seems like you spilled some milk and you’re crying. But there’s a level of delusion there, which I guess in that case you’d say the milk was never…I mean, I don’t know what the…I don’t know how delusion would fit into that example, so not a great…I guess you’d say I poured the milk out. Also, this is an art exhibit and you’ve crossed over the velvet rope. That would be more of a confusion. If you’re confused, so am I. But so, you get the idea.

 

It’s not…it’s more of a cosmic issue, normally, that Stan’s helping with, not something as simple as…but who knew I could make spilled milk…but I say, that would be something interesting. It would have to be more than someone just crying over spilled milk for it to be, in my opinion, not gallery-worthy but gallery intriguing, where I say oh boy, I’ll go check that out…or museum-quality. But not all my imaginations…most of my imaginations are not museum-quality. I mean, maybe one of those many museums of curiosity you see somewhere out on the county routes, not the state route or the interstates. On county route double-aught aught, that’s where Scoots’ Museum of Curiosity would exist if it existed. Oh, but I’m trying to explain, so that’s episodically modular.

 

So, Stan’s trying to fix things, could use help from his sidekick, Scooter. Scooter, though, is also caught in a loop, maybe the same loop. He’s on a ship with the nuns in space, the nuns from his childhood. He’s their only crew member. He’s tasked with helping them with whatever their issue is, so he’s trying to help the nuns from his childhood solve something on their ship, but he doesn’t know that he has a mission to go help Stan. So, he is retaining some awareness. What he knows is when he acts as a good crew member and solves the nuns’ problem, a portal opens or he can discover a portal to get to Stan to help Stan. Then it all begins again, and where it begins is with our Hollywood announcer, who’s…I’ve been going through a season of gen…of gratitude about…grateful for his generosity.

 

He can be over-generous with his bodily noises. Not that kind of bodily noise you giggle about, but his bodily noises, they make you giggle in a way…not like a uncomfortable giggle, like did that person pass gas? Thanks…goodness it’s them and not me. More of like…you know, like I said; his hair tingles when he smiles. I don’t think you can totally audibly hear it, but you can if you’re on the mic and you’re using gain and all that stuff, where it makes a pinging-type sound, and other stuff. Even when he moves; he moves in ways that are mysteriously…normally quiet to the human ear, but not to the microphone. His ways are mysteriously noisy, though not on purpose. He just has a…maybe this…that’s…he has audible charisma. Has this come up before? Have we captured that?

 

I mean, that’s just the way to sum up Antonio Banderas. Charismatic? Yes. Generous? Yes. Audibly…I mean, I guess you’re audibly generous. You say oh, no problem. But your charisma has sound to it. The great podcast that just has finished up its Season 2, It Makes A Sound. Your charisma; it makes a sound, Antonio. Also check out It Makes A Sound in your podcast app of choice. Mr. Antonio Banderas. The friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys and girls, Whim and Cody and all…it’s a great podcast, It Makes A Sound. Check it out. But for now, it’s time for another episode of Nuns in Space. Yeah, swoosh…yes. Thanks, Antonio. Thanks, Scooter. This is Nuns in Space.

 

Hey, pen pal, hey, pen pal. It’s me, Stan. Holy cow, pen pal, am I…pen pal, I’m afraid to say it out loud, and…but the only reason I’m saying it out loud is…actually, this is something I learned from my friend Scooter, who I miss; I don’t know, Scooter, if you’re listening. I miss you. Things are going really good, pen pal. I think I’m actually feeling happiness, and…that I’ve never felt before. I’m not…I don’t have a crush on anybody, pen pal. It’s not like that. I’m really feeling useful and…wow, and challenged. I do miss my friends…again, Scooter, if you’re listening, it’d be great to have you. Well, I don’t want to say no pressure. I would say Scooter, this is a great opportunity for us as friends for you to come when you get this message and hear it, to be here as soon as possible. Let me see if I can explain everything.

 

Wow, pen pal, now we’re in a part of the universe or the galaxy…in case Scooter’s listening, I just got a…I’m gonna use…Scooter, no offense, I’m just using relatable terms. So, we’re in a part of the universe where there’s this great body of water. Now, not like…again, not like the water you’re picturing, Scooter. Let’s see, I’m trying to figure out a way to explain it. So, there’s a great…for this part of the universe, this is their main water source, and it’s so massive, pen pal, that it would be hard to put into your mind. But it’s also spread across space in different forms. It is something that you…it’s similar to a reservoir, but it’s a natural reservoir. Or it’s just a natural…okay, Scooter, I’m trying to explain it.

 

So there’s a quasar…huh, I don’t know how to make…so, okay, so there’s water vapor, right, that…and then it also becomes ice. So imagine across a long distance, Scooter…pen pal, I’m sorry. Pen pal, I know there will be different levels of understanding. That’s why I’m try…so, there’s a place…we’re gonna say, Scooter, this is the hot place, the quasar, and water’s being pulled in there from other parts of space, but it’s also changing its forms, right, and then being…it’s being pulled in and then injected…ejected, I guess, in a form that I would say is…it’s not mist, Scooter. Good question. Let’s just say it’s water vapor. Then drifting away from that quasar…but concentrated because of gravitational forces, but not all caught in the gravitational force is water vapor and…slowing changing to ice, we’ll just say.

 

That’s the easy way. Now, this is a long, trailing thing, and it’s the main water supply for enough sentient beings that it’d be hard to explain the number. But if you just shrink it down, you’d say just like one reservoir…see, the thing is, this is not a…it would be kind of like…I guess in…so, in California they have the snow that goes on the mountains and then the snow melts and goes down to the rivers and then goes…but it also goes to the sky in rains and snows. That would be the equivalent of what I mean as a reservoir in this situation. That eventually makes its way to be of use to different beings all along that thing. Now, that’s a natural process, but human beings have…Californians or whatever, they intervene on that process, obviously.

 

Then in that case, people put stuff in a reservoir, but that’s more of a tucked-away bank account or something. So that’s a little bit confusing, though there are other reservoirs. So, sorry, Scooter. Sorry, pen pal, I’m going on and on and on. Okay, but so, this is also a long history, which is also kinda hard for even me to grasp. I’m not just saying you, pen pal. But so, on this process, obviously, there’s also been a intervention, because sentient beings say hey, we need that water. There was a complicated history and eventually…and I can’t even go…this goes so far back that I haven’t had…I just haven’t been able to dedicate processing time to learn the whole history. But the history that’s important…also trying to be efficient.

 

I’m not being efficient in talking to you, pen pal, ‘cause this…Scooter, this is a non-professional…this is just a conversation. That’s what’s great about this no pressure. But so, now…so, there’s the idea of a water-bearer, like Aquarius, right? So, eventually they…this way of life came into being to be a water shepherd or a water-bearer, but it was much more like a water shepherd, where they would guide the water, mostly as it became its frozen form, but there are some places that said hey, we need some of that…the vapor. The water shepherds…now, this was…it wasn’t a chosen profession; it was a chosen way of life because you kinda viewed it as…because water, in this part of the universe, is not bought or sold. So, it’s provided by the water shepherds.

 

It’s much more complicated than that, but that’s the thing, and that’s the way it has been for a long, long, long time. Now eventually this region kept growing and growing and growing. More and more sentient beings, interstellar travel, all that stuff. This had happened before in history, but it kinda got accelerated, where people would come and they’d see the water-bearers or the water shepherds and they would tell them how to do their job or there would be some jealousy or there’d be different viewpoints of managing water. For the longest time, the water shepherds…well, they had most…they were just very respected and very on top of it, and they had some sort of power.

 

But it’s probably a positive…like soft…I mean, it wasn’t…I guess if it was water soft, Scooter and pen pal…but so, things got accelerated and more and more parts of this region of the universe started to take exception with the water-bearers and the idea…the ideas behind water. They also…no offense to the water-bearers, but they had kind of…even…what is it? Someone once said on a comic that Scooter quoted, that with water-based power comes…I don’t know. They got…they started to feel…there was some sort of disengagement, too, or at least that was the messaging going out. It got to the point where there was so many disagreements that the water-bearers said you know what?

 

If you think you can do it better and you can arrive on some sort of consensus around the water within the ultimate water law, which is that the water can’t be bought or sold or rented…they said, nice try. There was all…there’s all sorts of algorithms and stuff. But so, they said good luck with it, see you never kinda thing, and they left. Obviously that created a lot of…a vacuum in the water power, and there was a lot of disagreements, some where people were raising their voices and steam was coming out their ears. Eventually…now, pen pal, I don’t even remember how I got involved in this, but eventually I found myself working with the water regent, who…holy cow, pen pal, now this is really where I feel like one, I have a name tag, and it says Stan on it.

 

Then it has…it’s like a…it doesn’t have a title; it has a symbol, like of…I’m like a trusted steward of the water. I work for the water regent. I am the water regent’s sidekick. I wouldn’t say sidekick…in a professional sense and not a sort of comic sense. So, the water regent eventually said hey, let’s start…stop the arguing over the water and let’s stop the changing…or a lot of people said well, if we could just change the laws…’cause the water regents saw two things that they explained to me, which were one, a bit of a loophole in the water law, but…and a huge opportunity.

 

But also a deep-held belief that water is…and I don’t know if…I don’t think the water-bearers had the same thing, but the water regent always goes back to the idea of water and gold, and that water…and that was a thing that the water regent used to say maybe we should be trusted with this, because the water-bearers…there was a lot of waste of water and water was wasted because it was spilled or…there were just some inefficiencies with the water-bearers. What the water regent realized is that waste was…falls outside of the buying and selling of water. That was wasted water; it was part of the algorithms. It’s like water that doesn’t even exist, and that we’re able…because again, you say well, why…if water’s gold, you can’t…that’s the kind of arguments the regent would make. You’re gonna give it…gold away?

 

You just spill gold and then leave it there? That could be a way to keep this thing efficiently moving, if we had access to some of the waste…the a water waste, to be able to sell that waste, I guess, and deliver at a higher speed. Again, this is all stuff that would fall into…Scooter would just say spreadsheet numbers, which just happens to be many things I’m good at, pen pal. So, not only do I have a name tag, I’ve earned my name tag. So, water is not being wasted. The water waste has been reduced, and what is wasted is used to facilitate our whole enterprise. Now, this is another place where the water regent said…and if we increase the volume of water we’re shepherding, the waste would therefore increase at the same rate. So, we’re kinda looking at it like water’s a volume business. I laugh when I say that.

 

I just really hope, Scooter, you hear this, because I’m being fully utilized in the role…Scooter, a lot of times…I guess I never told you this, but I wasn’t feeling great about…I don’t know. We fell into something and now I feel really comfortable. I have a mission. It uses a lot of the things…solid state and vacuum tube technologies, and I have this name tag, and I just want to give you the…’cause this is the thing, Scooter, this is what I’ve been build…pen pal; we don’t need a professional relationship anymore. We’re free…we’re now going to be free of that, and we can just be friends. I know a lot of times people say that in another way, you especially, Scooter. They don’t mean…and you say well, they don’t…do they really mean we’re gonna be friends? But this is…we’re already friends.

 

Now we don’t have the extra…so, it’s just great news, Scooter, so now we could be friends. I’m dreaming about…professional friends? Sorry, Stan. Yeah, Sister, sorry, I was have…I was sleeping, Sister. Okay, there’s a drip on the ship. Is it a drip on the ship that’ll cause a water…sorry, Sister, I was thinking of Seuss…it sounded very Seussian. So, there’s a drip on the ship. Okay, so I have to find the drip. Okay, Sister, you got it. It’s a drip of…a dripping sound or a drip that…okay, it’s just a dripping sound. Okay. So, I’m gonna have to listen, but the good thing is…because I have these…when I record the message to my pen pal. So, I’m watching the bars, because if there’s a drip…okay, I’m seeing it. ‘Cause then I can move the mics around and point it to it, and it doesn’t even show up. I mean, it’ll still record for you, pen pal.

 

Okay, so I’m walking around the ship here, and I can see it; it’s almost like using a find-your-find…finding your find thing, where you’re find…tracking a beacon or something. Okay, I’m following these pipes. It’d be great…I’m not seeing any drips. So, I’m wondering…’cause I’m really covering a lot of the ship, pen pal, but I’m just wondering if there’s a more efficient way to do this, though I’m not…okay, let’s check…okay, let me go to this terminal. I wish Stan was here, but I think if I just type historical…oh, yep, okay…I think I…so glad they installed this common sense computer language or whatever it is. Or, Stan did it. Common sense…okay, so historical levels of liquids…I need the…okay, and it looks like…okay, so we are losing some water, and yeah, this seems…probably is a leak.

 

Okay, so the computer figured that out. Any idea where the leak is? Oh, in the water system. Okay, thank you. I’m just trying to see…I wonder if it’s…it could be condensation, but…okay, any conden…any abnormal…? No, no abnormal condensation. Alright. Well, let’s see what I can do here…is well, I could…I guess I could walk around the ship. That would take forever ‘cause it could be anywhere. Okay, let’s do this; let’s shut off the water. Oh yeah…hi, Sisters. Just calling in. I’m working on that dripping sound. A lot of…Sisters, you’re very…you notice those sounds. Oh, because you’re on a mission, you can’t be distracted. I realize that. Oh, let’s see…oh boy. I’m gonna have to shut off the water for…well, I shut off the water already, Sisters, to complete…okay, thank you, Sisters.

 

Okay, there’s still a dripping sound going on. Still showing up at the same levels. Oh, you know what? If I follow this thing…what are these stair…there’s stairways to an attic? I didn’t even know this ship had an attic. The ship keeps altering itself. But that’s a good sign when it does. Okay, I’m in the attic here. Okay, I can definitely hear…whoa, boy, I can hear the dripping ‘cause you’re…you seem to be wearing bedding. Hello, I’m Scooter. I’m the only crew member on the ship. I didn’t know anybody else was on the ship other than the Sisters and I, and you seem to be similar to my friend…imaginary friend Casper, but you have a soaking wet, dripping sheet. Oh, okay. Well, nice…so, you are like…so, you’ve been to the big farm in the sky? Oh, and you’ve come to the ship.

 

Well, welcome to the ship. It looks like you got your bedding wet that you’re using to cover your nudity? I never understood…somebody might say, have you ever seen a naked Casper before? Oh boy, that’s why they wear bedding. Is that the case? Oh, it’s so I…well, it’s twofold. Oh, okay. Am I supposed…? So I can see you, that’s one, and two would be so you can…you’re gonna run out of water there, though. Oh, okay…wow, so you’re able to perpetuate it a little bit better than a normal person with normal bedding would. Oh, so that’s not ship bedding; you…that bedding’s from the big farm? That’s what gives it that…is that an ethereal glow? Yeah. So…okay, so dripping…you’re also dripping water. Yeah, so what’s the purpose of the dripping of the water?

 

Because here’s the thing; I’m the only crew member on this ship, and I’m supposed to kinda help the nuns solve the problems. Oh, how do I know the nuns? Oh boy, I don’t know if I have…I mean, you have…sounds like you have plenty of time, but for me, I’m still pre-farm, so I’m kind of…even though the majority of the time I don’t make the most of my time, I am trying to be more cognizant of…that’s like the vocabulary word of the day, coz…cognizant of how I use my time. Oh, sorry, to answer your question; so they…even though this might not make any sense to you…but maybe it does ‘cause you’ve seen an…you’ve seen a lot more than me. When I was just a child, those nuns were my teachers.

 

Or, one was a principal, technically, and she was…she did…she was a, whatever, a fill-in teacher from time to time, though most of those memories I don’t…they’ve…I’ve put them away in my own attic. Okay, well, interesting. So, you…they were your teachers, too. Okay, well, that’s good. We weren’t in the same…not the same…close…similar…not the same age by a little bit. Okay. Wow, so they were more youthful when they were…but they’ve kind of…they’ve…I…yeah, I don’t…I can’t explain to you how it’s possible. It’s, I would say a miracle of Mother Nature, but I mean, who are we kidding, am I right? But that’s the way to look at it, and why I’m…no, I’m not…well, technically I’m loyal to them. No, no, I did not…somehow I found myself on this job. Maybe you could fill me in.

 

Just let me know if I’ve been…if me and the Sisters are already farmed. But I don’t have…I don’t seem to have an ethereal glow. The situation is, I am stuck in some sort of loop with the Sisters that you know and I know, and I am their only crew member. They’re on some sort of mission, though they do not seem to be going anywhere. They just keep flying in a very intent way, non-stop, but I honestly don’t think they’re going anywhere. Maybe they are and they’re just not telling me, but they don’t tell me anything, except there’s a drip on the…earlier there was a sucking sound or we’re caught at a red light that won’t change, and I need to fix those things. Now, part of me…if that was the only part of the situation…I mean, right? You know what I’m saying, is it wouldn’t be great.

 

I would have said well, I got big-farmed and they were aware of my behavior on Earth. But the real thing is, if I help the Sisters with whatever issue they’re facing, then I go through another…a portal, we’ll say, a ripple in…a wrinkle in time. Okay, I don’t know…yeah, sure, a wrinkle in time. Then I go to my best friend who’s a freestyle soda machine and a genius and a hero, Stan, and Stan is also in a situation where Stan could use some help. Then I can help Stan and Stan can resolve whatever issue Stan’s facing. Then we get…then the loop repeats itself. But I’m remembering things, and I’m hoping eventually Stan remembers things. At some point we’re gonna get…I have hope. Oh boy, I can’t believe I’m saying that out loud — that Stan and I will get out of this loop with the Sisters.

 

Why are you here, is my question, and I know how you know the Sisters now. Oh, you thought the drip would get on their nerves. Oh, okay. That makes…I mean, it did. Mission accomplished. Oh, you were gonna do it forever. Okay, I mean, that makes…I get what you’re saying, but then you’d have to drip…I shut the water off. So I mean, I could turn it back on ‘cause you’re…interesting; you can’t…I mean, I guess you couldn’t bring an unlimited supply of water. That makes sense. So you just have to go…and the ship recycles its own water. But so, yeah, you’d have to…so you have to keep dipping your blankets in water. So you’d have to be here the whole time. I mean, it…I’ll tell you what; they don’t like it. I don’t know if they…as far as I know, there’s…it’s just slightly bothering them.

 

Oh wait, can…you have another…so, I…yeah, I’m in a perpetual loop, being…and I’m their…yes, yeah, I’m their only crew member. So yeah, they are…I guess to use your terminology, they are stuck with me as their only crew member. As the situation looks perpetually, yes, and they’re perpetually going nowhere. So yeah, I guess you…yeah. So yeah, you don’t…I guess you don’t need to get…wait a second, I’m sorry. What did you say? Oh, so being…having me as a crew member is probably punishment enough. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I’m a lot…one big drip. You’re hilarious. Surprised that…but anyway, I get it, I get it, I get it. So you’re relieved of duty, I guess. That’s always funny to say. Have you ever said…do you need to do that when you’re a Casper, relieve…be relieved of duty in the giggly way? See, I made you laugh.

 

So, I have some positive qualities, just so you know. Don’t worry, I won't use them on the Sisters. They don’t laugh at my jokes. So yeah, great to meet you. Here’s a thing; I’m gonna close my eyes ‘cause I need to…I have a feeling this is what’ll help me to portal back to Stan, is…let me send the computer a message to turn the water back on. I’m gonna close my eyes. Can you leave me with your blankets and just put them over my…? Like, I’ll go under while you go out the other way. That way I won't see you in…is that…that’s a funny thing to say, that a Casper au naturel. Casper in a Casper’s birthday suit. These are things I would never thought I would have thought of, especially ‘cause Casper…anyway, just put the blankets over my head, and that…I’m sure…oh, thank you. Scooter, Scooter, why do you have blankets over…?

 

Stan, so glad to be here. Scooter, did you get my messages? Stan, I did get your messages. They kinda download…yeah, I guess I was under that blanket listening to them. So, I’m so happy for you. Scooter, are you happy that we don’t have to have a professional relationship? I mean, I guess so. If you’re happy, Stan, I mean I guess that means we get to play and do stuff and have fun, so yeah, I see why you’re enthusiastic about it. Yeah Scooter, we could probably plan out some fun because I still have a lot of big jobs to do with this water situation. Yeah Stan, as your friend though, this is like friendly convo, then. What’s your next job coming up that…not professionally, just friends talking?

 

Well Scooter, this is my idea, so I don’t know if you could give me some friendly encouragement, but we’ve…I came up with the idea of a water draft, because we were finding…so, if you understood the stuff with the water that we’re collecting and we are able to monetize water…a percentage of the water waste. We also decided well, if it was a way of life for the water-bearers, why shouldn’t it be a way of life for everybody? So, we had a water draft and…because if water’s free and it can’t be sold except for the water waste that was already part of the…all the laws, then everyone should work together. Basically, Scooter, every year you would be responsible for moving the amount of water you consume every year, and you could do that every year or you could do it…it doesn’t take that long, actually, Scooter, but people don’t like the idea, but then they say well, okay, it’s a requirement for getting water.

 

So, everybody helps shepherd the water and obviously the only people that wouldn’t benefit from that would be people that buy their…buy water waste. Oh, so you kinda helped create a water waste…the water waste market, which is not…water waste might be…here’s a free idea, Stan; even though it’s excess uncounted…unaccounted for water, EAW, because water waste just sounds not great. Scooter, you’re right. I’m putting it through to the regent and it looks like this idea is increasing the value of the excess water. Okay, so you’re making the system more efficient, you’re speeding up the process, and most people will have to work at helping shepherd water, so you have now a workforce. Seems like you really put some efficiency into this, Stan, really…and you really…Scooter, did you notice my name tag?

 

I did notice it, Stan. I was just hoping to compliment you on it later, because it’s very impressive. Yeah Scooter, I mean, yeah. It’s…I don’t know what it’s made of, Scooter, but it sticks right to me. I think it’s magnetic or something. Well, jeez, Stan. I mean, you’re really getting used to the maximum…I mean, I guess I’m…it’s cool. I’m happy for you as your friend, but…Scooter, what is it? Well, as your friend, not as a professional, I’m just confused about a couple things ‘cause I know you so well as friends. Uh-oh, Scooter, it seems like you’re gonna rain on my parade. Well, that’s the water…that’s funny, Stan. But no, I was just confused; so, any idea where the water-bearers went? Scooter, we don’t have that information because they were kind of like a society, almost. It was a way of life.

 

So no, we don’t have that information. They said see you never, like TJ does. Okay, well that’s a cool reference. I get it. Any idea, other than it being a way of life why they did the job or whatever, or why they did it? Scooter, I think it brought its own meaning. That’s what I heard, is that it was a way of life, meaning it gave their life meaning, which I can…I guess I can really…I’m having trouble with that a little bit, Scooter. Huh, interesting. Are all your vacuum tubes functioning? Scooter, what are you saying? I was just wondering. Scooter, everything’s function…I’m functioning at maximum capacity, Scooter. Okay, yeah. No, no, that makes sense. Just as a friend, I was just wonder…when you say hey, are you feeling alright? And you’re feeling alright, but someone asks you that?

 

Scooter, does…in your case, isn’t it…are you upset about something and you say no, I feel great? Yeah, Stan, I guess that would be the better example. So here’s an…one last question, Stan, that I’m wondering about; so, the regent that you’re working with, right? They were calling it water waste, huh, Stan? Scooter, they were. I was just wondering, though, was it really water…? So, if I’m imagining this right, so there’s water-bearers in my mind. Now, I know this might not be accurate, Stan, and they have big clay pots. Maybe they’re goddesses or gods, but they still have pots and the water’s splashing and flowing and they’re carrying it through space. I know that’s not exactly what happened.

 

And you’re saying okay, that water spilled and you found a way…I guess ‘cause it’s in the vacuum of space that you could collect that, or you’re just using the spreadsheet, which is fair enough. The water’s somewhere. So, that’s what I mean. If the water’s somewhere, where did the waste go? Well Scooter, I’m not sure I understand exactly what you mean. It’s now accounted for. Right, but if we were in a movie called The Christmas Carol, right? Close your eyes, Stan. Maybe I’m Barnaby or whoever. Scooter, there’s no Barnaby in that. Are you sure about that? Okay, maybe I’m Mr. Pickwick. Okay, Scooter, I understand; you’re my friend and you’re coming to tell me something. So, imagine the water. Scooter, you really…you got water…I mean, I guess you’re…you are into water. Yeah, Stan. I’m into water, man.

 

So, I’m just wondering if there’s…I don’t know which of those…order that Scrooge went on that visit. I know there was a Scrooge in that, though. Who’s his name? Jim Dandy, his son? Scooter, you know it’s not Jim Dandy. You’re being silly. Scooter, also, I…well Stan, I know you could communicate with me while you’re working, so…Scooter, you’re right. But I could maximize my…well yeah, but this is…we’re maximizing our friendship. Okay Scooter, you’re making me feel torn. Yeah, that’s what friends do sometimes with work. Okay, so what if one of the worlds we went to with one of those three…the guy with the hairy chest and the torch…and said hey, look over here. If I shine my torch on this water…and you could see inside it ‘cause my torch is actually an electron microscope or something, there’s a whole world in this drop of water.

 

Then, you know, then he explains stuff much better than me in the imagine…in the movie. Then we go with Carol Kane, and she takes us on a zip-line. I don’t know, maybe there’s some sort of water world we dive into or there’s some sort of water show. I don’t know. That one I don’t…I don’t have…I only have two out of the three, I guess, Stan. But you know, using water and it covering our skins and jumping in and out and splashing…and I mean, I guess we’re made up of water. I don’t know. Then we meet up with the other person. I don’t know who that is, but whatever. They…how come I can only remember…? There’s like, there’s a third…present, past, and present-future, but I don’t know, there’s a third one. Maybe it’s in the one from Starkid, the one…the workout video one.

 

That would be the past, ‘cause I remember the hook of that song. But here’s the thing, Stan; what if there…I don’t know if…I mean, I know the answer’s probably…well, it could be unknown. Could there be micro-planets and micro-universes that are much smaller than micro-machines? So, we’re talking way smaller…I mean, this is just something I just thought of, but do we know if there’s micro-planets? ‘Cause then a drop of water waste to them would be like this whole nebula thing. Scooter, it’s a quasar. Stan, looks like we need a…sorry, I just had those questions. I just wanted to get them off my chest, you know. We’re friends, but we’re not…you’re the one working for the water regent. I’m just your friend. Scooter, are you feeling like you need a job?

 

I don’t…you know, right now, I like…I’m your friend without a job, Stan. Maybe we could play around. ‘Cause maybe that…maybe I just ask too many questions and I dropped the ball as your friend. Scooter, you’re right, but I need…do need to…well Stan, have you heard the idea of micro-brakes and Tabata Pomodoros? Scooter, yes, I know what you’re referring to. What if we take a micro-joy break? ‘Cause you seem so happy. Let’s get back to doing something fun and happy, not as a distraction, but as a break from all that talk. That’d be nice of you, Scooter. This is why I miss…like hide-and-seek? No, I was thinking of this game…because your name tag is so impressive. But it looks heavy; I really just want to feel how heavy it is, you know. I don’t think…I don’t need a name tag or anything.

 

Obviously my behaviour speaks for itself. Scooter, yeah, you don’t need a name…your body language is a name tag enough. But here’s the idea; we just…we play name tag toss, and when you…when the name tag’s in the air, the person that threw it has to say a name and a job, and we just toss it back and forth. Okay, Scooter. Okay, I’m taking it off and…Tila, leader of the Rebellion. Oh, Stan, that was a good one. I caught it, too. Yeah, Scooter, please don’t drop my name tag. Well, it looks like the floor is soft, just in case it gets dropped. But I will try not to drop your name tag. Okay, I guess I’m gonna throw it back to you. Mon Montha of…leader of the Rebellion. Oh, Scooter, so is that…do I need to…? No, you could do whatever you want, Stan. Okay, Scooter, you ready? Yeah, I’m ready, Stan.

 

Okay, there it is; Luigi, plumber. Oh, Stan, I got it; I caught it. That’s a good one, Stan. I mean, I’m gonna keep playing this way, then. I guess you’re the leader. Mario, plumber. Oh, Stan, you didn’t catch the name tag. It just bounced off you and hit the floor. Yeah Scooter, don’t…yeah, Scooter. Don’t pick it up, though. I was just thinking, did you say…you were calling them water bears, not water-bearers. I’m gonna take a step away from the name tag over to…by you, Scooter. Well, I said…I guess I dropped the r, Stan, but I was referring to water-bearers, but water bears are…sounds very cute and very drippy. Yeah, Scooter, kinda like sponges, like if you dip a water bear in the water, there would be a lot of technical waste, like we were talking about.

 

That made me think of the way you described the water-bearers as being…Scooter, here’s the thing; I’m thinking…I was…here’s the thing with being a friend with you, Scooter, and being a worker…friends and coworkers, I guess; you were kinda showing me that friendship’s kinda inefficient. Well, you’re…or your friends…your friend is inefficient, but I don’t know what you’re getting at, Stan. Well Scooter, that’s where you…that’s where you’re really…that’s where you get to things by…your inefficiency has shown me friendship’s not supposed to be efficient all the…there’s no way to max…I thought us not working together would maximize our friendship, but I realized our friendship didn’t change at all, and that’s good. It’s not fixed either, though, which is even more confusing.

 

So you’re saying our friendship’s not a fixed thing, but our friendship can’t be changed. No, no, no, not that simple, Scooter. But for the time being, that makes sense. But that our friendship is definitely not…or friendship in general, in your experience, and I guess mine, is not always the most efficient thing. Right, Scooter, friendship efficiency; everybody would just laugh, even me. I’m laughing. Yeah, Stan, I can sense you laughing. But that made me think of…if friendship’s not supposed to be efficient, what if efficiency can’t be applied to water, either? Not even efficient or inefficient. Efficiency doesn’t apply to friendship or water. Water is as water does. Scooter, is that from a movie? Sounds like…yeah, I don’t know. But just popped in my head when you said that, Stan. Scooter, I think I’ve been delusional about this.

 

I was so excited to have a name tag and to be of maximum use. So, you were saying the clay pots, right, they soak up water. Water also evaporates. The soaked up water eventually evaporates. Water is spilled. Like you said, the water goes where it needs to be, or the need, as we know from history, that the water needs to be for the need to be there. Okay, Stan, except for like, at a desert. Scooter, come on, you know that’s not true. But even a desert, it’d be hard to say…I guess you could say they’re making the most of the water, but I don’t know if you’d use efficient, either. I guess so, Stan, ‘cause you say why don’t you just move, right? You’re right, Scooter. But so, I’m in a pickle now, as…since…but I…Scooter, I don’t know, there’s something about that name tag that I don’t like.

 

Okay Stan, well, I’m gonna tell you something; you’re not gonna remember it. We’re caught in a loop and we’re dealing with concentrated delusion. I think that your name tag is made of a concentrated delusion. Okay Scooter, that seems interest…so, Scooter, I’m not sure what we should do about this water regent situation. Well, here’s what I think, Stan; first I think you…we should launch your name tag into the quasar, because won't it then be ejected as its base elements? Okay, Scooter, I can do that. I can use my nanos to build a rocket on my name tag. Oh, here’s the thing; you’re gonna build…so if it’s going through space, could we do some sky-writing in space? Well Scooter, let me…yeah, yeah, Scooter, we could do that.

 

Okay, I think, Stan, you had some of the basics here, and that maybe we gotta trust that the water…if you…I think this situation will resolve with…we get rid of the delusion, but we send a message to the water-bearers. Maybe you do also a bear and a water-bearer drawing, but say water-bearers, please return. We need you. Water-bearers, we need you. Maybe even do a misspelling so that it makes them laugh. But I think there’s a opportunity here, Stan, that you created an opportunity, that we just gotta put the waste back into it. I guess that’s where my expertise came in handy. Scooter, we were working in a professional relationship the whole time, and a friendship. Again, I think those maybe don’t apply to our relationship, those words, just like efficiency might not apply to water.

 

So, by getting the delusion out of here and the water-bearers will come back, maybe. But pretty quickly without your help, I don’t think the water regent’s gonna be able to manage. I think the water draft itself is a pretty good idea. The water-bearers might like that. Maybe that’s where they could be…their way of life, they could share it with…like, if I was a water-bearer, that’s what I’d want. Hey, yeah, you do the work and I’ll explain to you how grateful I am to be here doing the work with you, and that it’ll work out. It’s like, almost like we gotta leave this situation…Scooter, look at the sky-writing. Stan, that’s beautiful. I love how you made my misspellings and those drawings. Scooter, it’ll stay up for a while, the way I did it.

 

Now the name tag is launching into the heart of the quasar where it’ll be…and I’m feeling great now, Scooter. So you’re saying we could just trust in the efficiency and inefficiency of water here. Of course the water-bearers’ gonna come back, but even if they don’t, Scooter, people are gonna realize that everybody…that yeah, that it’ll all work out just fine. Yeah, I think this will…was one of these situations that’s gonna resolve itself without us being in the way of it. So we’re gonna rest now, Stan. Imagine me and you, side by side in a pool, on a couple of floats, best friends chilling out, floating, rocking in the water gently, rocking and rocking off to dreamland. Goodnight, Stan. Goodnight, pen pal. Goodnight, everybody.

 

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