1118 – All Apologies | Lulling With Lasso S1 E9

Episode 1118 – All Apologies | Lulling With Lasso S1 E9

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who…for some reason I thought about cleaning out my cupboards and then I…it’s…then I said Old Mother Hubbard, and I said no, no; did you mishear me, brain?  I said later we should clean out our cupboards.  I said…then my…that’s when…that’s literally how my brain responded; Old Mother Hubbard.  But I said, when you need a word that rhymes with cupboard…I guess that’s why they came up with that name.  I’m sure every Hubbard out there feels great about it.  What about Young Miss Hubbard?  She says well, yeah, thanks.  I like hearing the name Hubbard too in a popular name.  Then you say wait a second, Hibbert and Hubbart…Hibbert from the Simpsons.

 

But anyway, if you’re confused…you say, this guy doesn’t know his Hubbard from his Bubbard from his Tubbard.  I’d say well, those are…his Hibbert from his Bibbert, and I say you’re right about that, ‘cause it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that’s here to keep you company, take your mind off of stuff so you could get the sleep you need and you deserve.  I make the show because you deserve a place you can get some rest.  Now, this podcast does not work for everybody, so give it a few tries.  See how it goes.  That’s just the thing from regular listeners.  They say, I didn’t like it the first time I listened.

 

So, if that’s your reaction right now, you might become a regular listener.  You might not, either, but I’m here to help.  If you don’t like the show, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou.  But yeah, we’re gonna do some support for the show, then there will be a nice, meandering intro, and things will flow from there.  But I’m here to keep you company so that you could fall asleep and ease you into bedtime.  It’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  Thanks for making it possible, my patron peeps.

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether that’s thoughts you’re thinking about about the past, the present, the future, thoughts about yesterday, today, or tomorrow.  I usually have all of those thoughts all of the time.  It’s just how…they say it’s how I’m wired.  I say, can you remove that, then?  Because…they say well, I could do a little rewiring there.  I say yeah, I’m not good at that kinda stuff, though.

 

But you know, I have a lot of thoughts.  Feelings; maybe feelings are coming up for you, emotions related to those thoughts or that are just there.  It could be physical sensations, changes in time or temperature or routine.  My dog has just joined us…not in the studio.  Actually, she just poked her head in.  That’s rare.  I called her…normally I don’t break the doggy…the doggy door, but Koa came downstairs, which you didn’t hear that part, ‘cause you could hear it, but…so, I stopped…I stopped talking so we could cut that out.  Then she was looking for me because she likes to be in the same room as me at all times, if at all possible, which is so cute.  But she doesn’t really like listening to me record the podcast, I think because it’s…she knows I’m engaged with something else, not with her.  So, it’s not often.

 

Even though I record right outside of our bedroom where she sleeps on her bed, I sleep on mine, and her bed is just wait…she doesn’t actually use her bed, except that she…Koa follows some sleep hygiene.  She only uses her bed for sleeping and bathing herself.  Oh, but what was I saying?  Whatever’s keeping you awake; it could be a dog bathing or a cat bathing.  I’ve heard pets making noise.  Maybe you got a fish going glub, glub, glub.  Well, there’s another pet idea; a fish named Glub that…what was that?  Well, that was Scooter’s ode to A Fish Called Wanda.  It didn’t work.  It was called A Fish Called Glub, and it didn’t have any…it actually…it didn’t go anywhere.  He never wrote it; he just wrote the title, like most things he does.  He called it A Fish Called Glub.  Oh, where was I, though?

 

I was trying to make a sleep podcast.  So, whatever’s keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off of it and keep you company so you could fall asleep.  The reason I make the show is twofold; one, you deserve a good night’s sleep.  You deserve a place you could get some rest, a bedtime you don’t dread, a bedtime you feel neutral about or you even look forward to.  You deserve the rest you need so your life is more manageable.  I hope that this show can provide it for you.  It doesn’t work for everybody, but give it a few tries.  That’s what most regular listeners say; hey, it took two or three tries, and I’ll explain all that coming up here.  But whether you listen to this show…or you could check out…there’s a lot of other sleep podcasts and sleepy audio at sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou.

 

Whatever it is, I hope you find something and you get the rest you need, ‘cause that’s really what it comes down to, ‘cause the other side of the twofold is that I know how it feels, and so do a lot of other people that are listening.  We might not know exactly what you’re going through, but myself and a lot of other people can relate to it, how it feels in the deep, dark night.  I’ve had…last night I slept…I thought I slept good, but I did not wake up feeling good, but I’m just getting over it.  You can hear it in my creaky, dulcet tones.  I’m just getting over something, but it seems…I thought I was over it and then this morning I woke up…but I slept good last night.  The night before I slept not good.  But then when I looked at my sleep statistics, last night I didn’t sleep good.

 

It was one of those nights where emotionally I felt good sleeping, but according to my body, it said it didn’t do anything for me, which could be confusing.  We don’t have to…but what was I even talk…?  Oh, well, the reason I make the show is, yeah, you deserve a good night’s sleep and a lot of us know how it feels there.  That’s why I call it the deep, dark night, and that’s what I’m gonna do, is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents.  That means I’m gonna go off-topic, I’m gonna get mixed up, then I’m gonna double back, then I’m gonna repeat myself, then I’ll pause, I’ll get confused, then I’ll go on a tangent, all to keep you company and help you fall asleep…is really why I make the show, as I said.

 

What other things do you need to know?  If you’re new, this can be confusing, like I said.  It’s not a normal podcast, even for…even though this was kinda the first sleep podcast, it’s very different than most things you’d expect to put you to sleep, not a dude rambling with a voice that may…is like yeah, this is not bad, but I wouldn’t call you comforting.  I’d say you’re right; correct.  So if you’re skeptical or doubtful or confused, let me give you some more information.  One, this is a podcast that you don’t really listen to.  You just kinda barely pay attention.  Paying attention’s optional.  Even though I’m trying to make sense and put things together, it doesn’t…that’s not my…my forte is Will Forte, not putting…making…putting sentences together.  I’m a bit of a bumbler.

 

So, I don’t even know…oh, this is a podcast you don’t really listen to, just like something out of focus or one of those 3D…those old-fashioned 3D things you would…they say don’t look at.  Remember those things?  It comes up on the podcast every once in a while, ‘cause it is an apt thing.  It was probably in the nineties or the aughts, and I’ve seen it come back.  I saw somebody recently sent me one, but they were call…it was called 3D art, and I think it was computer generated, and it looked like weird space pixels or something.  Then if you stared at it in the right way, you would see a 3D dolphin.  90% of the time it was a dolphin.  Trying to think of any other things I’ve saw…if I’ve successfully seen a 3D art, it’s only been dolphins.  I’m not kidding; I’m trying to think of anything else I’ve seen in 3D art.

 

But it would be…I don’t know how the…I guess at least maybe we could find out why or how it worked.  But they’d say don’t really look at it.  You say but, I’m supposed to look at it with my eyes, right?  Yeah, but don’t…look at it, but out-of-focus.  Okay.  I don’t know how…my eyes are not adjustable, as far as I know.  Okay, stare at it but don’t…you don’t cross your eyes, but you’re not paying attention.  You say wait a second, the…here’s the thing; I don’t know how many of those books were even sold, ‘cause they were around pre-Amazon, so it would mostly be something you’d do in…you’d either give it to somebody as a gift; you say well, I wasn’t…here’s something I gave you.  Happy Father’s Day, or happy whatever, Uncle’s Day, or congratulations on your graduation from fifth grade.  Here’s a book.

 

Don’t look at it; you just kinda barely stare at it.  But most of the time you just go to the mall and look at them in the store, or I guess at somebody’s house.  I think actually some malls had it outside of a store to try to get you to come in.  I don’t know if they ever had their own mall store, but…I’m not trying to throw shade on these pieces of art.  I’m just saying it was very confusing, just like this podcast.  You say okay, wait a second, run through…run it through again.  Can you…you say okay, it’s a piece of art and you don’t really…it looks like something…it’s not…it’s the kinda space-age art that you would have made post-Photoshop, but not like jam bandy or new-agey, but you know, you’d expect…what are those things called?  Spheres and pyramids and obviously space dolphins.  They were the main subject of this 3D art.

 

But you don’t really…it looks like something confusing, but then if you don’t look at it but you’re looking at it but you’re not focusing on it, you’ll see something else, maybe.  I don’t know if it’s something like cilantro or the soap opera effect with movie…televisions.  They say, 1…10% of population only saw dolphins, even though occasionally there was something else.  I don’t know what else they put in there.  I’m not kidding.  I’d say, what else would they put in there?  Dolphins jumping or a dolphin jumping, or a dolphin?  Maybe a planet?  Maybe…I don’t know.  So anyway, this is a podcast you just barely pay attention to, but when you get the instructions for it even from the person that makes it, you say I’m sorry, I have no idea what you’re…and I say yeah, I’m qualified to barely be listened to.

 

That’s what I was trying to say for the past ten minutes.  This is a podcast you all…it also doesn’t put you to sleep.  More great news.  You say, so it’s confusing to listen to and you don’t put me to sleep?  Oh yeah, I don’t really put you to sleep.  I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff, not put you to sleep.  Just like that art, it’s like…it’s only meant to be seen occasionally.  The other thing that kinda got me was that if it was a book, you couldn’t…I never found myself able to get into the zone.  I’d be able to see one picture, but then if I turned the page, it would be like I’d have to start all over again to…and they say, do you see it yet?  Nope.  Is it a dolphin?  Then I’ll just pretend…how about this; I’ll just pretend to see a dolphin.

 

I wonder how many relationships…I mean, I never had a relationship that involved 3D art before.  Or you say, well, what are we doing tonight?  I figured we’d go to the mall and look at some of that 3D art.  Ah, nevermind.  I knew it was a mistake.  I’d say okay, well, I was hoping we’d get to the stage where we’d have our first disagreement over 3D art and my need to compensate by pretending I see a dolphin even though I don’t see anything.  So, maybe there’s a life lesson in there.  Can’t wait to make up.  I say well, maybe you could kiss the 3D dolphin.  So anyway, enough about…what was I…?  Oh, I’m here to keep you company instead of put you to sleep, here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz.  Things I’ve Probably Never Done But Will; that’s a Jeopardy category.

 

It just popped in my head…kiss 3D art.  My own private 3D art, obviously.  But yeah, be your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie, your bore-bor, your neigh-bore, your friend, your friend in the deep, dark night, to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company while you fall asleep.  So, that’s why it takes some getting used to.  You say okay, I’m not gonna pay attention to you, but you can.  There’s people that can’t sleep.  I’m here to the very end to keep you company whether you’re listening or not.  So just see how it goes.  That also goes for the structure of the show, which throws some people off.  Starts out with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel welcome and seen.

 

Then there’s support for the show so it can exist and come out regularly for free, so paying for it’s optional.  That’s thanks to the supporters and the sponsors.  Then there’s the intro, which is not part of the sponsor support.  The intro is about fifteen minutes of me rambling and trying to explain what the podcast is unsuccessfully, then talking about 3D art and then hoping I got…you say, are you really writing speculative 3D art romance?  I’d say no, but…has there ever been a giant pair of lips in 3D art?  Probably.  I could kiss those lips if I could see them.  There’s a conundrum.  Please don’t; I don’t want to join Sisyphus and Gringus or whoever that person with the rock is.  You say, what happened to Scooter?  Well, he was smoted.  One of the many gods and goddesses he…you know.

 

Now he lives in a world where he’s in love with 3D art that he can’t see that he’s trying to kiss.  But then the god that did it, they do a chef’s kiss ‘cause it’s so delightful for them to actually…he was smoted…it was…he was the first…it was the first time any human’s been smoted.  They called it…they had to wake Young up, because they said it was a synchronicitous smoting…synchronicity, where he was smoted by multiple gods and goddesses at the same time, multiple times…some gods tried to smote him within milliseconds multiple times.  That’s how he ended up in a room with 3D art that he’s in love with.  But the good thing is, he recorded a bunch of podcasts to put you to sleep.  So…oh, structure of the show.

 

The intro goes on and on and on, where I’m trying to explain what the podcast is unsuccessfully, as we’ve seen thus far, but it also offers you a chance to wind down and have some space between when you’re awake and when you’re asleep.  It’s kinda like a break or a landing, like a slow runway where I’m easing you into bedtime.  So, for regular listeners, they may be doing some other chill activity or they could be in bed getting comfortable.  Some of them might be asleep, or some people are getting ready for bed.  So, just kinda see how it goes.  But the intro is structurally here as slow…lowering of the volume and to get some distance from the day.  That’s why it goes on and on and on.  Then there’s again support so the show could be free twice a week, and then there’s our story.  Tonight will be a episode of Ted Lasso.

 

I’m sure there’s been Ted Lasso 3D art jokes.  Even though there’s only been two seasons, I bet you it’s in there.  Maybe that’s why it’s in my head.  I mean, ‘cause if Ted Lasso grew up in the Midwest, we’re probably the same age, hung at the mall, in the arcade, and probably saw some 3D art as a boy.  Maybe Ted Lasso kissed…probably not, ‘cause he’s a little bit more together than I am.  But anyway, so that’s the structure of the show, then there’s some thank-yous at the end.  That’s why I make the show.  I’m really glad you’re here.  I really work hard, I yearn and I strive, I really hope I can help you fall asleep.  Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways we’re able to do this for you for free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, we’re…it’s time to talk about Lasso, get some Lasso lulls and learn some stuff.  Oh, right away we’re gonna be…I gotta look up something right away.  Episode 9, All Apologies.  So, I guess I gotta look up…there’s a song by Nirvana called All Apologies.  I don’t think it appears in this episode.  I don’t think it has anything to do with it, but there’s a lot of apologizing this episode.  Let’s see…I was wondering what the meaning of it is.  ‘Easily amused’ is one lyric that always…I wish I was like you, easily amused.  But let’s see…I was just wondering if there’s anything else about All Apologies other than the lyrics.  Oh, All Apologies is a song…here we go.  Wikipedia’s got it.  It’s a song by Nirvana.  It was released as the final song on their third and final album, In Utero, in 1993.

 

Then in December of ‘93, it was released as a second single as a double A-side.  It was the second and final single.  Let’s see, recording…it was written in 1990.  Dave Grohl said that Kurt had wrote it on a four-track in our apartment in Olympia.  Dave Grohl really liked the melody.  Let’s see…was out for their third album.  The song at that point was tentatively titled La La La.  It had some cello in there, and it was kind of a lighter sound.  Cobain had said the songs like All Apologies and Dumb represented a lighter, more dynamic sound.  Let’s see what else we got.  There was also an acoustic version on the MTV Unplugged album and performance.  It was dedicated to Courtney Love and Frances Bean in…during the Redding Festival.  What else we got here?  Oh, it looks like it was covered in 1996 by Herbie Hancock.

 

I gotta look that up.  Man, that’s interesting.  But yeah, so that’s a little bit about All Apologies.  Nothing to do with the episode.  Sorry about that; I got sidetracked, but I do have to look up this Herbie Hancock album and see…what year was it?  1990…something.  Okay, so the episode starts with my handwriting…cheers…oh, there’s cheers of a crowd, but it’s dark.  We see ice, we see Roy.  Roy’s number 6.  There’s some word that gets said that I wrote down, but I’ll have to…one of the…not…I don’t know, one of those words that starts with…ignamious or something.  But that’s not a word, I don’t think.  Then there’s a lot of good dialogue as Ted comes in to talk to Roy.  Did someone order a Roy on rocks?  Oh boy, is it cold.

 

There’s a couple good scenes here with the slight Sudeikis physical comedy, which I don’t know if…what the…what it’s…felt like to be on set or anything, if it’s…like, if it’s just pure performance or it’s some sort of method acting where he’s becoming Ted.  I don’t know, I mean, even if it’s just in the moment.  But I think those little flourishes do capture Ted Lasso.  Like, when he puts his hand in cold water and how he reacts to it, which again is great for any character.  You’d say, how’d Scoot…I’d say well, that’s about the same temperature I am on the inside, so I wouldn’t have the same reaction as Ted did.  Had A Bad Day; that’s another song that I won't look up, ‘cause there’s so many other things.  Go easy on yourself…you’re like a brunette…Oscar the Grouch.

 

Let’s just Google Oscar the Grouch just to see what comes up.  I’m sure we’ve covered Oscar the Grouch before.  According to this, when I first…Oscar the Grouch has a significant other, Grun…Grundgetta.  Never…I mean, I haven’t watched Sesame Street in a while.  Created by Jim Henson and Jon Stone for Sesame Street.  Green body, no visible nose.  Lives in a trashcan, loves trash.  I love trash, like the song says.  Misanthrope…misanthropic interaction with other characters, but that’s not just…it’s also the species is grouch; Oscar is a grouch.  Was originally performed by Caroll Spinney until retirement.  Eric Jacobson was the understudy starting in 2005.  Let’s see the original origins here.  Original orange version of Oscar the Grouch from Season 1, 1969 to 1970.  Really?

 

Initially the puppet characters on Sesame Street were not on the actual set, but in intermediary segments. Jim Henson suggested a giant bird and a creature living in the neighborhood trashcan.  Those were developed by Sesame Street head, Jon…writer Jon Stone and Henson.  Puppeteer Caroll Spinney found the…oh, it sounds like Bernie.  Where to, Mack?  I didn’t realize how similar to Bernie the Butter…I mean, I’m not kidding, either…and Oscar the Grouch were.  Obviously Oscar the Grouch was a influence on Bernie’s…probably a hero of Bernie’s.  Yeah, then they…the…yeah, they came up with it by having a thing with…the restaurant was orange for the first season then changed to green, which became the permanent color.

 

This was explained in the…within the show by a visit to the swamp Mushy Muddy.  Yeah, so that’s a little bit about Oscar the Grouch.  I guess Roy’s a grouch, but different than Oscar.  Dani…oh, what song does Dani Rojas sing?  Man, we’re really busy looking stuff up.  Okay, so this is actually in Parade Magazine.  Let’s see…what…oh, I guess…I always call it a cookie or a…it’s a Easter egg.  I always say is it a cookie or a cupcake when people hide stuff in episodes?  It’s called a Easter egg, Scoots.  Okay, well, okay.  I guess you’re right.  Okay, these are all from Season 1.  Joe Arthur Gatestack shirt…victory character names…Miss Scanlon was a real teacher.  Two Aces…oh, the AI speech…yeah.  Make Rebecca great again…oh, those are the victory…Diamond Dogs…Underhills reference.

 

Oh, so in the opening scene…this is from parade.com, All Apologies, Dani Rojas jumps on the treadmill and begins to sing a song in Spanish.  The song he’s singing is the theme song for the show, co-written and sung by Marcus Mumford in Spanish.  So, there you go, except that I don’t know the…how the theme song goes, ‘cause I thought it was…oh yeah, okay; might…okay, now…I was like, isn’t it only instrumental?  But then I realized it has words.  Say, for some reason, I’m not even kidding, I think the Malcolm in the…when I tried to think of the Ted Lasso theme song, the Malcolm in the Middle theme song got stuck in my head, which I didn’t even watch…I mean, I watched some episodes.

 

The roller-skating episode obviously was…or ice-skating one, where you’re like, okay…then you say how can that guy be Walter White?  If you watched the roller-skating episode, you say oh, okay…you could see the range, right?  But yeah, that…I don’t know why that song got…popped in my head.  Okay, we got other stuff to look up, though.  This is good tangents, early.  Dani Rojas sings…Rebecca…something biscuit boost.  I don’t know what that says.  Block shocks?  Karen…oh, photoshoot; that’s what that says.  Karen Deeley, she says.  Karen…I can’t even spell Laren.  Now Karen…oh, I’m having trouble hitting that K.  K-A-R-E-N…Deeley?  Karen Deeley…that may not be a character.  So, I don’t know.  Nothing came up.  I mean, I don’t…probably not…Karen Deeley soccer.  Let’s try it.

 

Karen Deeley funny tweets…no.  I don’t know, maybe it’ll come up when we do the dialogue.  Eggplant power suit…my dreams…oh, so this is a lot of good dialogue that we’ll talk about, ‘cause not only is it about apologies, but there’s different references to little girls’ and teen girls’ person…powerful personality traits.  Powerful…wish Higgins was here, Ted says.  Ted uses a phrase I’m very familiar with, which again, I say wait a second…stinking thinking.  Keeley shows up.  Are you?  Question mark…something…star…oh, so she asked about the Tom…if they’re gonna do something satirical, they’ll call you.  They go into the boot…?  I don’t know if they called it the Boots Room, but they’re in the Boots Room.  Keeley says can I talk to you, Rebecca?  The room they go into, they talk at the Boots Room.

 

This was probably the fourth or fifth time I saw this episode, and there was a few different really…either jokes I missed or they just hit me and they…I…there was so much more.  I mean, there’s a really awkward exchange with Nate here that I didn’t pick up on the first time.  Keeley and Rebecca…when are you gonna tell Ted?  Keeley…nine…Joanna Wellington.  Oh boy, teenage girls…they talk about being a teenage girl.  Nate comes in.  Why tell Ted?  It won't change anything.  Keeley says it’ll change how I feel about you.  Ted has a prefer…press conference.  He makes a Willie Nelson joke and a Daily Planet joke.  I said okay, how…are those global jokes?  I mean, the press laughed at both of them.

 

I mean, I guess you say of course they are, but I say okay, is Willie Nelson’s predilection for the the…for grass…for the grass; I sound like I’m older than Willie Nelson…for the grass.  Is that an inter…I mean, is that internationally-known?  I know he’s known to rock the microphone.  I just did a little Lasso there.  Did you see that move?  Daily Planet, also.  I don’t know.  ‘Cause in the UK…is Superman in the UK?  Does he work for the Independent Planet, you know?  Or the…I don’t know, The Globe, I guess.  I don’t know.  So, joke…rosy?  Roy Kent intro…introvert trick.  Oh, he does a good introvert trick, Ted does.  This handwriting is totally…wait for him.  Oh, Beard and Nate are watching, sharing a look, and then they’re waiting for Ted.  I actually figured that out.  Have a seat.  Ted sits in this big leather chair.

 

I wanted to look up the term ‘bite us in the butt’.  I don’t even know if I can leave this in there, ‘cause this is one of the jokes that I was like…there’s like…it’s a two or three-stager.  Let’s see, where is the phrase…?  Oh, comes back to bite you in the butt.  Bite us in the rear; that’s a idiom.  That’s the definition of it, though.  Bite butt…meeting…there’s a lot of different ones.  Idiom definition example…Oxford slanged?  Oh, online slang.  It just has negative consequences.  Nip…well, there’s a lot of different ones, so I don’t know.  But a lot of good jokes here.  Oh boy, I gotta look up another one.  Audio 5…oh no, Audi 5000, so I won't look that one up.  But Ted says no, I…not gonna bench Roy.  Then there’s just a joke with Beard and Nate.  You gotta see it, ‘cause Nate asks him a question afterwards that’s so easy to miss.

 

It’s probably like, fifteen seconds, and they’re just…Nate’s…that Nate asked Beard about it.  Beard of course responds true to character, but in a unexpected way.  Then Nate responds what, where, what?  But not in that…not the way I did it.  More of total curiosity.  Ted does the knock, knock, all ears…Rebecca…this was like a short episode of Sleep With Me by Rebecca.  She’s buying time, going on tangents, procrastinating.  She even asked Ted, you got a dictionary?  He says not on me.  Oh, so top of pops…so, I have a good…not the show, but the…I guess the theme song or something, because one of the…it was unfortunately a disc we got scratched.  We scratched it, but one of the…some of the best times my daughter and I had was on…I forget the name of the…oh, the Rabids games, the Rapids…the bunny game.

 

Top of the Pops was one of them, where it’s kind of like you were playing a in…kind of like Guitar Hero.  But Top of the Pops is actually a…I don’t know, is it a TV show?  Can we get it on Wikipedia here?  We can.  Top of the Pops is a British music chart program made by the BBC.  Is this the one I listen to now?  Oh, now it’s the Official Charts.  It was around since ‘64 to 2006.  Used to be broadcasted evenings on BBC 1.  Now I do try to listen during the school year, at least.  To the Official Charts?  Is that what they call it now?  Dusty Springfield, I Only Want to be With You, is the first song performed on Top of the Pops.  Rolling Stones were the first band, and Snow Patrol was the last act to play live on the weekly show when they played their single, Chasing Cars.

 

Snow Patrol, who I get mixed up with just Snow, but they’re…I guess Snow Patrol is…they’re not the same group even though in my head I’m so easily confused.  Hit record…hit record…it says dad…oh, so Ted hits Rewind.  I think he says a dad joke in…he says it forward but he’s saying stuff in reverse.  Reminded me of one of those Lynch…just reminded me of one of my favorite shows, the Peaks…Peak…Twin Peak…the Twin Peaks.  Rebecca pep talk…Rupert shows up.  He sits on her desk.  There’s tears, there’s pain.  What a jerk, I say, that Rupert.  Slow music, preemo Janet.  Oh, piano…oh, there’s slow music.  Piano jacket or something?  I don’t know.  I wrote it down.  As Rebecca leaves her…so, she’s…Rupert really…this is a major change for her ‘cause she’s procrastinating.

 

She knew she had to apologize, and Keeley says you gotta make things right.  I know this pain of procrastination of making these apologies.  Oh boy, do I.  You just gotta do it, I guess.  But they show her leaving her office.  It was a great sequence.  She goes to Ted’s office to apologize.  Something I need to tell you.  Deja-vu.  I lost loser standing dialogue…she lays it all out; to cause him as much pain and suffering.  I did not care who I used or who I hurt.  They stand face-to-face.  I forgive you.  Divorce is hard.  The job you gave me has changed my life.  You…we’re okay.  She shakes her head no…the handshake…but then they go in for a big hug.  Then at the end…again, this is another…this wasn’t a comedic moment, but Ted does this thing where he swirls his finger and he says you gotta come down here more often, boss.

 

Classes up the place.  Walk away…last one is a rotten egg.  What does a British owl say?  I don’t think this…actually, we should look it up.  Well, no, I don’t want to ruin it.  Maybe it’s the payoff later, right?  They always pay stuff of.  Whom?  I don’t know.  I’m not…I can’t write jokes, so…cold shoulder and the silent treatment.  Nate runs off.  Swear it out, Roy.  Beard gives Ted’s…Ted a look…glasses off.  Higgins, channel, pan…redhead…Rolls Royce.  So, I don’t know.  Rebecca drives to Higgins’ house.  She pulls up in a Rolls Royce to his house.  He’s playing standup bass.  She surprises him.  He squeals.  Ted finds Roy, sits right next to him in the stands.  So, that’s apology one, right, was…that’s the only apology we’ve had so far; Rebecca to…or Rebecca to Ted, the main character in the show, Ted Lasso.  Thanks for reminding me of that.

 

Ted buys time, so now Ted’s the one procrastinating.  ‘Cause at the beginning of the episode, Ted’s…basically made…let Roy know he’d never bench him, that he always had his back, which kind of a broader definition that needs to be renegotiated now.  Ted buys time.  He talks about YouTube, a kitten and a baby chicken being friends, how his mom, like most moms, would defuse stuff in that way.  Roy moves away, sits one seat away from him and flexes his hand, blows his top.  Bass, bass, bass.  We see that it’s contextually Higgins playing the bass string.  He’s got a Van Dyke beard.  Looks how I feel; chill, man.  This is a great…another…apology number two.  I’m truly sorry.  Thank you.  I lost my way.  Keeley, Roy, and his niece, whose name…Phoebe…how you doing?  Fine.

 

This is the second time this comes up…body…the miracle of the body was also a theme.  Miracle of…yeah, miracle of the body.  I forgot how Dani had said it.  Oh yeah, callback to Dani.  Pink…they’re not pink fuzzy pillows; they’re more of a rose.  Some loser has-been named Roy is not what Roy Kent, the footballer, wants to become.  Is that all I am?  Phoebe’s listening to Septon, maybe?  I thought that’s what she said.  Describe your Uncle Roy.  There’s no football mentioned.  Beard…his ex-girlfriend’s playing chess.  String…four beers…stay strong, the other pubbers say to Roy…or the Beard.  He’s got four pints.  I’m more of a Taber guy.  Oh yeah, let’s look that up.  Taber, Cuckoo’s Nest…oh, and look who’s playing Taber, one of our favorites.  Maxwell Taber, played by Christopher Lloyd.  He’s a bit of a wild card.

 

I haven’t seen or…the movie or read the book in quite a little…long time.  But he was there before McMurphy arrives.  Okay, so, great moment…this is one of the great moments in this season because it really…great moment in the show, I put.  All this isn’t about…ain’t about winning, Ted says.  The Beard has to lay it all out, the stakes, the real stakes of winning and losing, and his personal stake in it too, or his personal feelings.  It does land well with his ex, and she says that’s pretty assertive.  He says, get your things.  Then he tells the guy she’s playing chess with, she’s been toying with you.  Checkmate, mate.  Then Ted’s pretty drunk, which again, I mean…I said okay, I mean, I don’t know how fast he drank those three pints or if he drank all four, and they are imperial pints.

 

Again, I’m operating from the perspective of someone that would drink much more than that, I guess.  Though if I drank those three pints in a half-hour or something, I’d…back in my day, you know…’cause those are twenty ounces.  Twenty, forty, six…so I guess a forty.  So it’s like two forties, but they’re not as strong.  We don’t know the strength or what…if Ted had eaten, obviously.  But he wasn’t super drunk ‘cause Roy’s at his place, and there’s another callback as Ted goes to cross the street; Roy stops him ‘cause Ted was looking the wrong way.  Then we have another callback with the peanut butter finger.  You allergic to nuts?  No, to fingers.  Roy apologizes.  Know thyself.  Told my niece ice cream.  They talk about how great ice cream is.  She’ll watch the match even if I’m not playing.

 

Ted talks about Fresh Prince and the Carlson.  He’s doing the Carlson…and talks about Alfonso Ribeiro being one of the most underrated physical comedians of all time.  Or maybe not; he’s saying he is one of…he’s saying…yeah, he’s underrated.  Target…isonic…cover with…oh, so Roy says I’m iconic.  Oh yeah, if you see…if you saw someone doing the Carlton, even just their profile, that’s how you’d know.  Okay, so yeah, should we cover it up with a injury?  But Ted says my preference would be for you to be there.  They talk about tea, then we have Higgins and Rebecca.  Silly, playful, mysterious.  Then we have the locker room.  Ted’s there, Beard and Nate are at his side again.  Nate apologizes.  I had a scary dream; I was pecking at you or something.  Make sure to apologize to me in my dream so we’re good there.

 

So, there’s also a lot of these…a thematic dream.  Ted believes in inception-type stuff.  Roy shows up.  Sorry I’m late.  I guess that’s an apology.  I could have, should have been there, but there’s an electronics thing at my house with Phoebe and Keeley.  Second team is gonna win.  Acceptance?  Is that what that says?  Settle it out on the pitch.  The music…there’s music, there’s noise, there’s laughter, and that…it doesn’t actually slow-zoom out.  Maybe it zooms out and then stops.  There’s a long shot of the locker room just being a locker room.  There is that ‘Believe’ in the background, and the believe is coming up in the song, too.  That’s the end of the ep…another great episode…another lulling episode with Lasso, if I do say most so of myself.  Goodnight, everybody, or Scoots will be back with more.

 

Alright everybody, we’re doing the watch-through with some dialogue here, of All Apologies.  Lisa’s breaking down the match.  We see Roy come out of that ice.  Stretch of bad days.  A tough one for Roy Kent, number 6.  The last nine games…turnover’s ignamious.  Ted comes in…there you are.  Dani’s still out there running drills, though.  Everybody else is gone.  Really funny seeing Roy sitting in the bucket.  I wonder if they had a stunt double.  I’m sure it’s on the internet…not…when they show the back of Roy’s head with Ted.  But we get a side shot…big whoop.  He says just go easy on yourself and I’ll see you later, buddy.  I got your back.  Nothing’s gonna change that.  Brunette Oscar the Grouch.  Bye-bye.  Turns off the lights.  Let it go…ola, Roy.  He starts singing.

 

They’re talking about Manchester City and Jamie Tartt doing well for them.  Roy goes under the water.  We get the intro, then we have Rebecca after the intro.  Photoshoot…Ted shows up, talks about strutting his stuff.  He’s got the biscuits.  They sit in front of…in the locker room.  Profile on women…Karen Delia and Posh Spice, I think.  Sports article…who’s she gonna thank?  My dreams are possible.  Football Financial Quarterly.  Girls are mysterious, silly, and powerful.  Gave up trying to figure them out.  I just wish Higgins was here, Rebecca says.  Higgins quit.  You let me know what he thought about me.  That’s stinking thinking, Rebecca, Ted says.  Rebecca says she’s heartbroken.  That’s when Keeley says really, heartbroken, eh?  Don’t buy it.  How about Tom Ford?  Does Tom Ford buy it?

 

No, only with irony, maybe, or an every person campaign.  Then Keeley says Rebecca, how about we have a little chat in the Boot Room, ‘cause these boots are made for footing.  That’s just what they’re made for.  Rebecca’s buying time there, too.  Feet funk…and when are you gonna tell Ted?  Can you imagine having to make amends?  Keeley says Scoots can…yeah.  Keeley talks about the wrong that she did.  Probably reminds me of the ones I did.  Teenage girls are mysterious, dark, and with an edge, but that’s not the point.  Nate comes in, says something he should apologize for.  I guess he does.  He says sorry.  So, technically he’s…he says sorry.  Won't change anything.  It would change how I feel about you.  Great, great line.  David, we got one final…let’s do it high like Willie Nelson.  Trent Crimm, Daily Planet.

 

No, The Independent.  A lot of young players.  Roy Kent; he hasn’t been playing well.  Well, Roy doesn’t always have his best day, but backbone of the team.  Beard and Nate don’t like that answer.  If you’re a introvert, raise your hand.  That was a trick.  Introverts wouldn’t raise their hands.  Ted…hands in his pocket, goes into his office.  Have a seat.  Also, he has this thing where he has his cuffs over his sweater.  What’s going on?  You two want to talk to me?  He rolls his sleeves…that’s a cool look.  I’ve never been able to pull it off myself, but I couldn’t handle three layers like Ted has on, unless the air conditioning was at like, sixty degrees.  But they say you gotta bench Roy.  He says I’m not benching Roy.  He’s the captain.  Value your opinion even when you’re wrong, but hoping you two are gonna do improv.  I’m outtie 5000.

 

They watch him leave and then there’s great jokes…seriously, do yourself a favor.  Oh, I accidentally closed the video.  7:30…where?  What?  What?  Where?  Rebecca’s getting her office neat.  Hey, what’s up?  Something I gotta tell you.  Have a seat.  I’m all ears.  He does the ears thing.  Wow, even how he gets in the chair…gonna get right to the point.  The way she does…buying time, very Scooter; no procrastinating.  Procrast, procrast; that’s a good word, isn’t it?  Procrastinating, procrastinating.  What’s that etymology?  Procrast.  She really is a Sleep With Me starter.  Why don’t we look it up?  You got a dictionary?  You okay?  She says, me?  Yeah.  Now you can really see the eggplant color of her power suit.  Top of the Pops…she does pop and lock.

 

Ted hits the Rewind button…see how the closed captioning…closed captioning just skips it.  So, I don’t know if he says a dad joke.  She says oh gosh, I gotta do this.  Come on, Rebecca, just do it.  Tidy up your mess, tidy up your mess.  Okay.  She heads out to go tidy up her mess and Rupert comes in.  He says you look stressed.  Where’s Higgins?  Fired.  Higgins is first class.  Chews on pens, though, like a anxious little puppy…like an anxious little Scoots.  I chew on pens, too.  Not in my boss’ office, but…and look.  What do you want, Rupert?  Well, we’re…me and Bex are having a baby, he says.  Baby on board.  She says, what in the heck?  First off, you said one thing, second of all, you’re seventy years old.  I think that’s what she says.  Yes, nearly seventy.  You’re having a baby…what are you, from the Bible?

 

You’ll be a pile of dust and a Amex card.  Calls her darling.  She says I don’t want…don’t…please don’t call me that.  But really, he’s just there…I mean, I guess what’s interesting is he’s offering her a mirror, like a gross mirror to look into.  She sees him and his behavior, and this time it clicks; like, who does she…whose behavior…you know.  When she looks in the mirror, she wants to see Rebecca, make Rebecca great again, and not a reflection of trying to out-Rupert Rupert.  Also maybe the fact that it can’t be done.  She’s not that cold and passively-aggressively passive.  So she turns…her eyes watered up.  She didn’t cry and she’s…kinda turns stunned.  Slow walk…there’s music, again, that I couldn’t…and I don’t have the shazam for, and now it’s on Mute.  She goes to tell Ted the truth.

 

Oh, whose tea…there’s a bare bottom…two bare…oh, three.  Whoa, boy.  I didn’t notice that.  Bet your bottom dollars there’s bare bottoms there.  But she goes and says Ted, I gotta tell you something.  There’s people on treadmills over Ted’s shoulder.  The door’s open; she closes it now.  She’s standing, Ted’s sitting.  Ted, I lied to you.  I wanted this team to lose.  That’s why I hired you.  I wanted you to fail.  I sabotaged you every chance I could, and yeah, that was me that got that picture of you and Keeley.  I don’t know if you heard about that, the burger picture.  Interview with Trent Crimm, hoping he would humiliate you.  Transferred Jamie Tartt despite your wishes.  Ted’s right now got a poker face on.  Not my, my poker face; his poker…not a poker face, actually.  Looks like a poker face, but he’s just being Ted.

 

Sorry I caught…I wanted to cause Rupert pain and suffering.  Didn’t care.  She’s looking…I don’t know if she’s looking right…yeah, I guess she’s looking right as Ted as she’s saying it.  Her eyes are watering.  Ted’s looking right back.  Great eye lines, yeah.  Ted, I’m sorry.  He moves his…wow, he moves his head a lot, but not…shakes his head finally, stands…man, this is good.  Hands in his pockets.  If you want to call the press or quit, I understand.  I forgive you.  What?  Why?  Well, Ted gets it.  It’s hard.  You’re human, I’m a human.  Being a human is…involves human stuff.  Human, human, human.  I’m coaching soccer in London.  She laughs and cries.  That’s wild.  She says yeah.  But you’re…this job’s changed my life, gave me the distance I need to see what was going on.  You and me, we’re okay.  Goes to shake her hand.

 

She looks down on it.  She also has a few inches on Ted, at least in the shot.  Shake my hand.  She gives him a big hug.  Maybe an inch or inch-and-a-half.  If you care about someone and you got a little love in your heart, ain’t nothing you can’t get through together.  She says that’s a metaphor or about us?  Or something, and he says oh, well, indubitably or something.  He doesn’t say that, but he…Ted…I don’t know if Ted would say…he probably would, but it would be in a proper context.  This is my favorite part; let’s see.  I gotta rewind it though, ‘cause fourteen…no, it’s earlier than that.  Oh boy, I fast-forwarded it.  Okay, thirteen…yeah, about fourteen minutes in.  Nice to see you down here, boss.  Liven up the place.  Man, there’s…I don’t know what about it, that scene.  That’s rich to me for some reason.

 

I don’t know, it’s like that confidence.  Ted Lasso as an imaginary character has what I want, and it’s that.  Okay, then we talk about the mysteries of the human body.  The body, Dani says, can do…the body’s a miracle.  Not a mystery; a miracle.  Good perspective.  Speed’s important, but so is changing direction quickly.  Beard’s in the background, 808 Heartbreak.  Doesn’t get enough credit.  Team agrees.  Let’s get going.  Start, stop again.  Last one’s a rotten egg.  Says I only thought of a joke, Beard; what does a British owl say?  Beard steps away from him.  Ted doesn’t really…he says okay.  Oh, I get it now.  Give me the silent, cold shoulder.  Ted doesn’t like it.  Does that combo come with a medium drink?  Then Nate makes a…he tries to talk to Nate.  What does a British owl say?  I don’t know.

 

Yeah, I mean, I probably could brainstorm it, but it wouldn’t…it would be more…it’d be…but it’d be embarrassing for me.  Dig, Dani.  Come on, Roy.  Swear it out.  Roy’s not keeping up with the rest of the team, but not everybody’s fast.  Now Beard’s showing him, saying hey, takes his…Beard takes his sunglasses off, looks at Ted.  Ted nods.  Okay, puts his sunglasses back on.  Rebecca is signing something.  She’s right-handed…sees the chewed pen.  It’s time for another apology.  Is that a Rolls Royce?  I don’t know, maybe.  She goes to the door, rings the doorbell.  I guess a Bentley?  Is that what she was in before?  Twenty-two is Higgins’ house number.  He’s jamming.  She laughs, but not a laugh of humiliation; a laugh of joyous discovery.  Then Higgins squeals when she taps on the window.  Roy’s sitting, staring, in outdoor clothes.

 

Oh, I couldn’t see the seat number, but he’s right in the middle.  Hey.  There’s a lot of other seats.  Ted has a great comeback; that’s what my ticket…this is what my ticket said.  Roy’s hands are in his lap.  Hounds…Greyhounds, Richmond, we see in the stands.  Ted now is the one buying awkward time.  Kitten and a baby chicken became friends; hung out on YouTube.  Got it right here.  Or, I guess it wouldn’t be on YouTube ‘cause…but yeah, you could check it…I’ll show it to you on my phone.  That’s what my mom would do.  She’d start saying something, go off on a tangent, you know?  Overtly nice.  Yeah, I just thought the idea of a bird and a cat would b…in simpatico would be nice.  Roy changes seats, grips his left hand.  Yeah, no, no…listen; thinking about starting a lineup.  No, no, no, let’s just talk.  Yeah, Ted; baloney.

 

You said you had my back.  I do.  Baloney.  You’re…pretended to be a man of a word.  Go eat…go read Super Fudge and get back to me.  Super Fudge, Ted; go read Super Fudge.  Ted tries to say I thought that was…Tales of Fourth-Grade Nothing came first.  He goes, Super Fudge.  Then we go back to Higgins and…playing the bass.  Rebecca…well, that…they talk about his beard.  They say Super Fudge; is that…would that be…is that even…when…not joking; what’s Judy Blume’s relevance?  What is that?  Says his wife loathes his beard with a white-hot intensity.  Also he has a moustache, which…so it’s not just a beard.  It’s kind of a pencilly moustache.  I told Ted the truth.  He forgave me.

 

A couple of ducks…bird statues in the background of Higgins’ house, and a long thing that you would put under the door to block a draft, but too long for any door.  She says I’m truly sorry, Higgins.  More importantly, but I guess this is more about the background.  Higgins says thank you, Rebecca.  His bangs are down, too.  Lost my way for a minute, she says.  I’m on the road back.  I can’t see Higgins’ shirt.  Well, it suits you, unlike that beard.  Sorry, I had to.  Then we have Phoebe who’s listening to music.  First child other than Jamie in Keeley’s place.  Can’t have her snooping around.  You know, I got that toothbrush thing.  It’s not a toothbrush.  Roy’s looking out the window…how you doing?  I’m fine.  Keeley’s thoughtful.  Kids are pretty incredible.  You know, teeth, body’s a miracle, again.

 

Another callback to the body and teens and mystery of childhood.  Okay, and then the mystery…blush.  I guess that was bright…her puffy pillows are a rose-type color.  I mean, you could say they’re pink, but I’d say more of a pink powder pink.  There are some hot pink stuff, but yeah, I don’t want to be…I like being Roy Kent.  I don’t want to be some dude named Roy.  Alright, Roy, what have you been up to?  Reading Super Fudge, but not really reading it; just say…you know.  Feeling like the Tales of…feeling like I understand what Tales of Fourth-Grade Nothing means even though I’m a former footballer.  It’s all I’ve ever known, who I am, all I am.  Keeley says uh, uh, uh.  Phoebe, tell me.  Let’s see, I gotta figure out who…oh, Zeppelin is amazing.  Okay, so Zeppelin…so Keeley’s into classic rock.  Interesting.

 

So she says close your eyes; describe your Uncle Roy.  She says I think of whoever…Scooter can’t remember Fudge’s brother’s name, the main character of these two books.  He buys me ice cream though, swears, he’s funny, and I love him.  Very cute, very cute moment.  Another heartfelt…well done, Phoebe.  Nothing about being a footballer, Roy.  Actually, nothing…no Judy Boom…Blume books yet; she’s only six.  So, right now she’s more into Thea Stilton or whatever the equivalent is.  Roy says Geronimo Stilton; that’s another one I could yell on the…and then we go to the pub at night.  We see the Beard watching his ex-girlfriend play chess with another bloke while the pubbers comment on it.  Stay strong.  You’re a beautiful man.  Beard nods.  Ted comes in.  Four pints await.

 

Actually five, ‘cause the Beard has a pint.  Figured you’d need it after talking to Roy.  ‘Cause I think they serve pints somewhat warm.  Talk about Taber, Cuckoo’s Nest…and to be honest, I never told Roy.  Now, don’t give me those eyes; he figured it out.  But I’m not gonna bench him.  Winning doesn’t really matter.  Another great scene if you watch…I mean, just watch the whole episode.  Do yourself a favor, but how much time…?  Twenty-three minutes.  Great, great, great reaction.  I mean, it’s the stakes for the rest of the season but also for moving forward, right?  The truth; the truth-teller.  Says gosh darnit, Geronimo Stilton.  Listen, when we were working with college kids, that’s one thing.  Winning does matter.  These are professionals.  It matters to me.  That’s okay.  Right, Mae?  Correct.

 

He points at Mae; she does something.  Losing has percussions.  We lose, we get relegated.  Then what do we build?  If you’re gonna pick a player’s feelings over your duty, that’s selfish, and he heads off.  Ted’s stunned, and so is his ex.  She says that’s very sexy.  Get your things.  Checkmate, mate.  They hold hands, they head off.  Ted takes a sip.  He stares at the other three pints.  Plus there’s an extra pint…only people like me would know that, but you say actually there’s five pints, because Beard left his pint.  Which you say okay, what are you doing, dude?  But people that shouldn’t have pints would notice that, like me.  Ted leaves his pint, kinda waddles off.  Goes across the street, looks the wrong way.  Roy stops him.  He picks peanut butter with his finger, offers it…finger allergy.  Ted’s got a fruit bowl.

 

It looks like there’s a gourd in his fruit bowl.  Two-day-old pasta water.  Tea’s fine.  Sorry I told you to F off.  Sorry about…usually…oh, just use children’s books instead of profanity.  But rest in peace, Socrates.  Something else on his table.  I don’t know what it is.  It’s like an orange-ish…oh, it’s a double-decker matchbox bus.  Ice cream rules, ice cream is the best, kinda like seeing Billy Joel perform live; never disappoints.  Who’s played more at MSG, Fish or Billy Joel?  As of when I’m recording this, I think Fish still, but I’m not positive.  Not that it’s a contest; it’s just…just wondering.  Well, that’s showbiz, ain’t it?  Promised myself I would never watch Fresh Prince when they changed casting, but Carlton called me back, Alfonso Ribeiro.

 

19, 20th, and 21st century, greatest physical comedian.  Iconic…the Carlton…I don’t know what to do when a grown man does the Carlton.  So, that’s a funny callback joke too, of like, I don’t know…when somebody beatboxes.  Knock it off…Miss Shipley has been fed up with Ted.  What if we pretend you’re injured and you can’t play?  No shame in that.  Roy says well, it’s not a bad idea.  Maybe I could get a job at another club or play in America and show them what’s what, where I’d dominate, by the…oh, this is football, then.  Ted says well, my preference would be…so assertive in…my preference would be to be there.  I guess that’s truth, not…I don’t know, how do people do that?  They just say what they prefer?  Holy cow.  Roy says…and then Roy, he says can I think about it?  Then Ted says you better.

 

Man, those…talk about…maybe Ray…I don’t know if any of these writers are related to Ray.  Maybe Ray was one of their…I don’t know, but Roy says I do love tea.  Ted still loathes tea.  Tries it…shakes his head.  Then we have the sun coming up.  Higgins is back.  It’s biscuits o’clock.  They’re making a joke about somebody with bigger hands.  They say okay, I’m gonna say it; heck to the yeah.  Nice to see you.  There you go, boss.  There’s some biscuits.  You want to try one of these.  Caring is sharing, but I brought Higgins a box, a different color box with something else in there.  I had a hunch.  Actually, those are for Trent Crimm’s daughter.  She turns nine or something.  But don’t worry; they’re for you.  No…Ted, did you tell her?  Weeks ago I told her, but don’t worry.  Oh, she’s three.

 

No, you can’t give a three-year-old truffles anyway.  He’s like oh, no, no, I’m just joking.  I made this whole thing up.  Brushes his head.  See you all…let’s go, Greyhounds.  Higgins opens the box.  They’re pink, so he says, maybe.  Well, maybe you’re silly, playful, and mysterious.  Then we go to the locker room.  Ted’s hands are in his pockets again.  Looks at Roy’s locker…jersey’s still up…looks around; no Roy.  Everybody else is kinda getting in the game…I mean…oh, it’s practice or training.  Alright fellas, listen up.  Beard comes back.  Nate comes back, apologizes for a dream, and ignoring him.  I know now’s not the best time, but I had this dream I was a bird pecking you, or something, like a crow trying to get those rocks in a jar or whatever.  He says okay, we’re good; just apologize to me in the dreams.

 

Okay, and…say okay, we got a match coming up.  Then Roy comes in.  Excuse me, sorry I’m late.  We had a toothbrush discovery, the kinda toothbrush you keep in your nightstand, you know what I’m saying?  Yeah, my niece found it, so…and I said holy, what in the Thea Stilton is this?  Everybody acts like…been there, Beard says.  Roy says can I say something?  Puts on the blue second team jersey, and he says second team’s gonna win today.  That’s when kinda order is restored, in some sense.  Ted laughs, everybody laughs, they’re joking around…finish getting ready.  We’ll settle this on the pitch.  Let’s go.  People point around…Ted claps Beard’s back.  Dani jumps up and down, people are putting their boots on.  There isn’t a zoom…oh, I guess it is slow…slow zoom-in.  Yeah, it’s zooming still.  I’ll tell you if it stops.

 

Still a very slow zoom; may have stopped zooming.  No, still zooming…very, very slow zoom towards ‘Believe’.  Is it still zooming?  That’s a good question.  I can’t tell.  If I had a…no, I think it is still slowly, slowly zooming.  Great effect, actually, ‘cause it’s such a slow zoom.  Ted pushes Beard out of the office.  Roy’s the last to leave.  Oh wow, holy mackerel…oh my gosh, again, you gotta watch the whole thing, man.  Roy touches the Believe sign.  I did not…that’s the first time…I’m not kidding, I saw that.  So, I have to…my apology for not paying better attention.  But yeah, I’m here to pay attention and put you to sleep.  Goodnight, everybody.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcribed by Leah Hervoly)

Notable Language:

• Glub Glub Glub
• Synchronicitous Smoting
• Powder Pink Pillows (PPPs)

Notable Culture:

• Old Mother Hubbard
• “All Apologies” – Nirvana
• Alfonso Ribeiro / Fresh Prince

Notable Talking Points:

• If I’ve successfully seen 3D art, it’s always been pictures of dolphins
• Let’s just appreciate the range of Brian Cranston for a sec
• The Miracle of the Body