1112 – Make Rebecca Great Again | Lulling with Lasso S1 E7
Like a lulling hotel information station this will be a road trip off to dreamland.
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Episode 1112 – Make Rebecca Great Again | Lulling with Lasso S1 E7
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who says…you know, for…sorry, I was thinking, did I say the beginning right? Then I was also thinking, people say they’re…I’ve heard the term hot under the collar before, but I don’t know if I’ve heard the term I’m warm under the collar. I think hot under the collar means you’re in a bad mood, but what if there was…can’t we have…here’s the thing; maybe that’s what the…what the world needs now, not just love, sweet love, but a greater shading of things…you say well, I’m getting slightly warm under the collar, so I’d appreciate if you fold that laundry and put it away.
That’s just a pretty…that’s actually a…I say…you say well, I don’t…no, I get…when I’m warm under the collar, well, if I’m…technically I might…may unbutton a button. I may take my shirt off or change my shirt or do some…change…but most of the time I say, you know what? I’m feeling a little warm under the collar. Before I get hot under the collar…and you may be saying to yourself, speaking of getting hot under the collar; where in…for the love of collars, whether they’re turned up or down…if a collar frowns, does…here’s another question that has nothing to do with…if a collar’s up or down, does it have feelings about the direction…? Probably not, because…you say, I thought this was…is this a sleep podcast?
It is, meant to keep you company so you’re not alone in the deep, dark night, to take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. You’re the most important part of the show, but this podcast is very different, not for everybody. Give it a few tries. See how it goes. The structure of the show is I’m gonna do some support for the podcast, then there will be an intro to help you ease you into bedtime, and there will be an episodically modular bedtime story you could listen to in any order. It’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. Thanks for making it possible, patrons.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts you’re thinking about, so things on your mind, thoughts, thinking thoughts. Sometimes my thoughts are about the past, the present, the future.
So thoughts, anything you’re feeling physically, physical sensations that may be keeping you awake, anything you’re feeling…emotions coming up that are there from the thoughts or the physical sensations or that are just there, whether they’re past, present, future. There’s some song called Always Something There to Remind Me or something, and I say…and the song, I don’t even think…I think the song sounds nice. I don’t know if it…I don’t think it is a nice song. I think it’s a forlorn song, and I say I can relate. My thoughts and feelings are…and physical sensations and many…always something there to remind me that it’s probably not…even though it’s my bedtime, that…you say well, it’s not the best time for you to go to sleep.
Oh boy, did I have a sleep adventure last night, and when I say adventure, I’m trying to be as positive as I can, because it was adventurous, but it was kind of like an adventure like Kathleen Turner had in Romancing the Stone, an unplanned adventure. So, okay, so what’s…oh, so whatever’s keeping you awake, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff, because you deserve a good night’s sleep. That’s why I’m here. I’m here to help, because you deserve a good night’s sleep. I know how it feels. There’s hundreds of thousands of other people right now, and while we might not know exactly what you’re going through, a lot of us may be experiencing or have experienced those feelings you might be feeling or those thoughts, the frustration, or that it feels a little bit L-O-N…however you spell that word.
It’s not easy in the deep, dark night. That’s why we call it that. So, this is a reminder that you’re not alone, because we hear from a lot of people for…that are in big families. You got a roommate, you got a partner, and it still feels like you’re alone, even when they’re there and you can’t sleep in the deep, dark night. So, I’m here to let you know you’re not. I can be here for you, or maybe that reminder that there’s other people out there listening to this show will help. But the most important reminder is not only do I know what it feels like sometimes in the deep, dark night, including last night, is you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a place you can rest, a bedtime you can look forward to or feel neutral about, because your life will be more manageable, and if it’s more manageable, you can be out there flourishing, and that makes our world a better place to be in.
It’s important. It’s important to me, at least. That’s why I make the show, but the show is very different. What I’ll do is I’ll send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents, which means I’m gonna get mixed up, I’m gonna go off-topic, my voice is not traditionally soothing. If you’re waiting for this show to get started, it’s already going and it’s going…it’s always going nowhere. That’s what they say about Sleep With Me, is that we’re always going nowhere. So yeah, there’s that. What else? So, Sleep With Me pod…oh, send my voice…oh, this podcast doesn’t work for everybody, so if it definitely doesn’t…if you’re already like, this show does not work for me, check out sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou.
There’s other sleep podcasts on there and sleepy audio. But give it a few tries, ‘cause it is different. I’m gonna explain some of the differences now, but mainly it’s meant to just keep you company. There’s no pressure here to fall asleep. This is a podcast that’s not really here to put you to sleep; it’s here to be your friend and to take your mind off whatever’s keeping you awake, just like a friend would, to be your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie, your neigh-bore, your bore-bor, your bore-bruh, your bore-friend. I’m here to be at your side or across the room or on the phone or on call and say hey, just talk to me for a while. Keep me company so that I can fall asleep, or at least I don’t feel those other…that I…be my friend. This is a virtual version of that. Yeah, it’s a little bit different.
I hear my internal critic snickering, and that’s okay. Also, no Snickers in bed. That should be…maybe just…’cause those things, they’re not…they take forever to clean out, especially if they melt. I probably am speaking from experience, not…can you imagine…I wonder if I did it at a go…what…in a sleeping bag. Worst place for a Snickers? Sleeping bag has gotta be in the top three. You say well, I can’t wait to snuggle up. You got that two-person sleep…oh boy, what is…? Oh, it’s a Snicker…there’s a Snickers? Don’t worry; it’s a Snickers. You can’t use…I don’t think…so…oh, so, sorry, I’m introducing a sleep podcast. So, I’m here to keep you company, not really to put you to sleep. Eventually you’ll fall asleep. I’m here…and if you can’t, there’s listeners out there that are listening just to listen.
So, I’m here to the very end whether you’re awake or asleep. That’s kinda what works about the show; you don’t have to listen, no pressure to fall asleep, everything’s kinda optional, so just chill and barely pay attention to me and see how it goes. But occasionally I’m right. You’re like yeah, you’re right; you shouldn’t have a Snickers in a sleeping bag, though probably in the commercials they show people…I don’t know if recently that’s been a thing with advertisements where you say oh boy…did you get…they say…this is at Big Ad Central. They say, we’re ready to launch on that Snickers campaign. Do you got all the…? We gotta edit the next few spots. Okay, I’m going over this shot list here. You don’t have any people camping with pure…unadulterated joy and camping, eating a Snicker.
We don’t…we’d have never thought…I mean, I guess we could see…you know, no more s’mores. Open it up; eat it. Don’t worry about…well, kind of making s’mores is nice, though. Well, what about putting a Snickers in-between…put a Snickers on a stick. We tried that; it didn’t work. It falls every time. Okay, well, what if you smush…what if you put a Snickers with marshmallow? Sn’more…Sn’mores. Okay, this is actually a sleep podcast, though. Part of my brain is running an imaginary ad agency. Sorry, I’m back. So…oh, so this podcast doesn’t work for everybody, you don’t really listen to it. Give it a few tries, see how it goes. It’s structured very specifically.
In addition to not really listening to it and it not putting you to sleep, the other thing that can throw new listeners off naturally…but it’s a friendly reminder for our regular listeners, is the show is designed in a very specific way, and some listeners are able to kind of adjust how they listen, but for the most part, this kind of carries people off into dreamland slowly. The structure’s part of that and part of the goals around the show. So, the show starts off with a greeting so that you feel seen and welcome and you say okay, I kinda get the tone of the show. Then there’s support for the show, whether it’s listeners supporting the show directly or listeners supporting sponsors who support the show. That makes it possible…is that you can listen on almost any podcast app for free whenever you want, as many episodes as you want.
‘Cause I found for some people, they listen to a lot of different episodes, you know? Eight or ten episodes a night. So, paying for the show is optional, and…but those people that do that are…keep it free for everybody. So, that’s pretty cool. Then there’s the intro, which is not part of the sponsorship or the community support. It’s its own show within a show, and the intro does two things; it introduces the podcast to new listeners. Welcome. It follows a similar structure every single time and takes ten to twenty minutes of me trying to introduce the podcast. I see that there’s some irony there. But it also…so, for regular listeners, they know what’s coming but they don’t know how it’s gonna be delivered. So, they say well, I don’t know if Scoots has ever talked about candy bars and sleeping bags.
You would have never thought to make it a rule, but they don’t mix. Plain and simple. Maybe at some point there has been a sleeping…I don’t think there should be, ‘cause you say keep it…here’s the thing; keep it out on…you could create some sort of pocket or something on the outside that’s…there you go, Snickers; make a Snickers sleeping bag with a Snickers pocket on the outside. Probably not the best…you know, but you know what I mean. People say, I didn’t think he would talk about that in a pod…I don’t think anybody would think…anyone for any reason, other than the Candy Bar Cast…that’s the thing…that’s a…it’s strange; that’s a very niche show. It’s things interesting to candy bars and people interested in candy bars.
I was making it for a…something where candy…when candy bars gain their own sentience and start listening to podcasts, but that’s a ways off, I hope. I mean, for me, I hope so. I say well, I never thought I’d end up going to bed with a candy bar, my dear, but we can’t predict the future, so…and that’s why I was prepared, ‘cause I’m interest…apparently I’m interested in candy bars. That’s probably from watching those move…pre-movie candy bars dancing. Oh boy, holy…how did I get in a conversation with Freud there? But it wasn’t even because it was right on the nose. Okay, so…oh, so the intro goes on and on and on, but part of the reason it goes on and on and on is that it eases you into bedtime. It gives a twilight between being awake and going to sleep.
So, for a lot of listeners, it’s part of their wind-down, whether they’re getting ready for bed, they’re doing a relaxing activity or just chilling out, lying around, they’re in bed getting comfortable. A small percentage of people are already asleep; we’re happy for them. A small percentage of people just skip ahead. But the intro, it’s just one of the things I’ve seen work over and over again, is that it eases you into bedtime. So that’s the intro, then again there’s more support between the intro and the show so the show could be free and come out twice a week, then there will be a story. Tonight it’ll be…I think tonight will be a episode of Ted Lasso, and catching up on that, learning and lulling with Lasso. Then there’s some thank-yous at the end.
So, that’s the structure of the show, and like I say, I guess I teased that I didn’t sleep good last night. So, last night…the night before, I hadn’t slept well. I had trouble getting to sleep and staying asleep. So, two nights ago. Or no, that was three nights ago, ‘cause two nights ago…then I went to bed early and I said holy cow, I got a great night’s sleep. Not according to my sleep tracker, but I said who’s asking? It said you are. So then, last night I said okay…I was reading and I was trying to…I was trying to read until I was…couldn’t keep my eyes open, right? ‘Til I was…my body was ready to go to bed. Then I was like, turn out the lights to go to bed. Now, I’m dog-sitting, so…and Koa sleeps in my room.
Then at some point, in the middle of the night — what I thought was the middle of the night — Koa suddenly…and this happens fast with Koa; she needed her ear cleaned and she was letting me know that by pacing around and shaking her head. This was…and then I got…I said okay, let me get up. I said let’s go clean your ear, clean your ear out a little bit. It sounds like you got some wax in there bugging you, with the temperature change and all that. But I can say that, but that’s not Koa’s…Koa’s idea…Koa views a ear cleaning as a…beyond much more than a minor inconvenience, an affront to her dignity, I would say. Even though I said you’re shaking your head there; that’s a sign of me…I gotta clean your ear. So, none of it went as smooth as that, but that was basically…it took a while.
I said well, let me just get in there and clean it a little bit or clean…let me do the process. But it also involved begging, pleading, commanding, moving, readjusting…and then I’m dog-sitting, and the other dog got up I guess just in case there was gonna be any T-R-E-A-T-S or something. She was just observing this madness with me pleading and then saying…and working this. It was like the seven stages of dog ear-cleaning at the…in the middle of the night. I did say to myself halfway through it; I said okay, well, I’ll go down and read for a while, ‘cause part of me…the little kid was like, it’s 1:30 in the morning. So then I went back down after everything got calm and then I read for a while. Then actually, I did fall asleep, then my alarm went off and I said that’s definitely…I definitely didn’t get enough sleep.
So then I kinda…then I thought I shut it off and then it didn’t…I snoozed it and then…but then I got some extra sleep. It all worked out, I mean, I guess. We’ll see how things go tonight. But every night’s an adventure. Last night was an…like I said, an…choose your own adventure? No thank you. They say, The Night of the Dog’s Ear Cleaning. Choose your own…no, no thanks. I’ll pass on that. So, that’s it. I’m glad you’re here. I really appreciate you coming by. I work really hard, I yearn and I strive, and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Thanks again, and here’s a couple of ways I’m able to do this for you for free twice a week.
Alright everybody, Scoots here, lulling with lasso…lulling and learning with Lasso? We’ll read through my notes first and then we’ll watch the episode, Season 1, Episode 7. Black screen, but we hear Nate saying no, no, no. Very clean under bus…pause. Oh, so I think I have…that means it wants me to pause on Ted’s screen, but then I figured it out; it was Bryant’s BBQ. FaceTime with son…John and George? Lacks propulsion? Luxury, popular…FaceTime with son…John and George. Lounge population? Everton…British floms for Rebecca. Interesting. Hoo-hoo girls…trip…Keeley…totally messes with Rebecca. Higgins is off the jet. Can you imagine? Keeley on…Keeley says that, though; can you imagine? Keeley says, yeah. Higgins sung Keeley on? Oh, on the jet. Not Han Solo on the jet.
Keeley’s on the jet; Higgins is off. Sunglasses off. You’re not even on the bus, Higgins. You’re staying here doing work that doesn’t matter. Lasso happy…team not, except Dani. Bored…conflicts…Ted or Beyonce and Jay-Z. Oh, Beard comforts Ted on Beyonce and Jay-Z, which didn’t happen, but Ted says why the glum faces? Did Jay-Z and Beyonce split up? We’ve never won in Everton in sixty years. O’Brien tore his behind. Will hear…bard change…hamstring to behind. Oh, Beard changes on the board, changes hamstring to behind. No goals. Relegation…definition…departure of Jamie. Scotch eggs? Oh, let’s look up Scotch egg right now while we’re…live learning with…from Lasso. Scotch egg…S-C-O-T-C-H egg is a food. I think you can get this in one of the theme parks.
It’s a boiled egg wrapped in sausage meat, coated in bread crumbs and baked or deep-fried. I probably had it. It comes from 1809. Goes back to…in the dictionary, but may have been 1805. Is a cold item…Fortnum and Mason claims to have invented it in 1738, but based on archival material, they may have popularized it. It is generally believed that they were encountered in the Raj…maybe called kofta, which is meatball. Narcissus meatballs. Their claims include a name coming from a nickname, culinary delights of Yorkshire. They originally…originated in Whitby. They were supposedly named after William J. Scott & Sons, a well-known eatery that sold the item. However, that does not fit with the known use of the term. So, we have a mystery.
Then maybe they were called scorch eggs, as they were cooked over an open flame, though surviving recipes say they were deep fried in lard. Scotching is a culinary process. So, that’s cool. We got ourselves a mystery, the mystery of the Scotch egg. That fits. Actually, Ted Lasso and the Mystery of the Scotch Egg, or The Diamond Dogs and the Mystery of the Scotched Egg. Diamond Dogs Mysteries: The Case of the Scotch Egg…The Case of the Scotched Egg; yeah, there you go. The Case of the Scotched Egg, another Diamond Dogs mystery. Mystery solved, if you watch the next episode after this one, or at least talked about in an adult way with…and not-adult way, and for the best…for a solution that works for the person asking it. Lost or con…oh, last one’s a scotched egg. That confuses the reporters.
Also, I noticed…I really got a lot out of this scene. I’ll talk about it now versus when we watch it. So, again, if you’re talking about learning from Lasso…again, realize it’s a fictional character, but these…we got some big episodes. The next one is a huge one as far as learning behavior. But I think this one really shows to me, as someone who is strange, but I don’t…I’m not able to lean into my strangeness with wild abandon like Ted does, or just be myself. I have a governator on me or whatever, you know? I say whoa, whoa, whoa, don’t make jokes that are totally confusing and may flop for the love of joking and expressing yourself with whimsy and just putting out there. Then they’ll figure it out and they’ll get something out of it either way, or just be yourself.
Those may be rules that I’m trying to project onto Ted, but that’s what he does; he says…he makes a joke. It’s actually a regional joke mixed with an American idiom? I don’t know. Making a idiom out of me and me. Making a idiom out of I do; I do make a idiom out of I and me, if there was an E. I do, of me, make an…but so, he just says it and the reporter’s kinda…I’ve seen that look that the reporters share, and it…and unlike Ted who just gets on the bus, he just says the last one there is a Scotch egg. They look at each other and they say, what? What is he talking about? But they say it in a way that I would say is bemused or slightly amused, or at least you could say neutral.
There’s no malice there, but I project…if it was me, I would project onto those two reporters, and their confusion would make me feel not comfortable. So, that’s one thing I can learn from Ted; just put it out there, man. It doesn’t matter. By him being…the reality is, he’s being vulnerable or he is comfortable enough to be himself, which is in itself a form of organic vulnerability or something. Again, yes, I know, brain; he’s a fictional character and not real, but the fact remains that we’re making a sleep podcast about this. So, I really like that scene. I really thought those two actors that just had that one scene, they brought a lot to the scene as well as Ted did. Oh, my brain said Ted’s…oh, okay, I…okay. So, let’s move on, because…are you uncomfortable, brain, with me talking about Ted’s vulnerability?
It’s not a zero-sum game. Ted can be confidently vulnerable and it doesn’t mean we’re any less than Ted. Yeah, Ted can be a…can…confident, vulnerable, imaginary character, yes. Okay, so, something reporters…nice bus, I put. It really is a nice bus. Then they grab Nate. Oh, Ted doesn’t forget anybody. Hotel…at the hotel, Keeley and Rebecca have the presidential suite. No tip…cash tip…no, an image in his mind. Anniversary weekend. Big hug…oh, long hug. I think this is Rebecca and…Rebecca and Keeley have long hugs, and then Rebecca’s friend shows up. But we’ll get to all that. Nate hands out keys…he also talks about the furniture rule, movie night…51-50…51-48. Ted talks about Sammy…I love how he sets it up and then over-explains it.
Sleep With Me-esque, but also by saying something and then addressing it and the…and Beard having the look, they cover everything ‘cause he says my favorite lead singer of Van Halen, Sammy Hagar…and then he looks to Beard to see…and he says of the Sammy Hagar…not named David Lee Roth or whatever of the Sammy Hagar era. Or maybe he said best album. Is duff…what is that? Oh, is DLR. Rebecca on phone with concierge…steakhouse…she sees…she hears Keeley talking, but we realize that Keeley’s on the resort hotel TV channel. She’s the host. Past is the past. Hello, Stinky. Oh, this is where she shows up. Old, grey walnuts…Flo, meet Keeley. Six years…Sassy…Keeley hugs Sassy. The team is watching Iron Giant. Let’s look that up. No phones…Isaac kinda gives somebody a look.
It’s been a…I don’t think I’ve seen Iron Giant in this era of clear-mindedness for me. Maybe I have, but I don’t think I have. It’s a Brad Bird film, but it’s from Warner Bros. It was Brad Bird’s directorial debut based on a ‘68 novel, The Iron Man. But it was published in the US as The Iron Giant. Scripted by Tim McCanlies. Story treatment by Bird. Wow, Jennifer Aniston, Harry Connick Junior, Vin Diesel, James Gammon, Cloris Leachman, John Mahoney, Eli…John Mahoney and many more. Centers on a boy in 1957 who befriends a giant robot. So, maybe I should…I have to rewatch that with a clear head. Oh, this is interesting, though; jump to…film’s development began in 1994 as a musical with the involvement of Pete Townshend from The Who, though the project took root once Bird signed on as director, and they started working on the screenplay in 1996.
It was animated using traditional animated with computer-generated imagery to animate the Iron Giant and other effects. Understaffed crew of the film completed it in half the time and the budget of other animated features. It came out in 1999, under-performed; $31 million against a production budget of $50 million, but that was ‘cause it wasn’t really well-marketed. There was another…they had pulled back after another hadn’t worked out. It was nominated for nine Annie Awards and it did gather quite a following, as, I mean, obviously as seen in this film. Oh, this…I mean a episode of Ted Lasso. Okay, Ted, Beard, Nate, your opinion…no. Excuse me? At least he did not shame…seventy-four months…grown men crying. Okay, and we’ll figure out what that means later. Divin fun…dirt shade…still on fire. Dinner fun.
I don’t know what dirt shade is. Still on fire. Ted at front desk. The comedy of the calls that the front desk guy…he says, did you…you gotta try flushing it again, but harder. Then they make fax machine jokes. Ted meets Sassy. Smart…Sassy Smurf. I’ll let you know. Then he’s on the phone again; he says I’ll let you know how the trial goes, the front desk person. Rough go, or for…rough go for front desk guy, or no go. I think it says rough. It doesn’t work out for him, ‘cause he says well hello, Sassy Smurf. Back to the table. Sassy goes back to the dinner table. I just met the Marlboro Man. How did Rebecca get the name Stinky? It was in year seven of school, Rebecca’s first day. Then Rebecca leaves and Keeley says I love you and Rebecca. She goes, that’s not Rebecca.
Rebecca is silly and strong like this woman, but she’s not cold, and Rebecca’s a good singer. Then we go to Ted’s room…hotel room. He’s two…at least two drinks deep. Lots of bangs…oh yeah, his hair is down in his bangs. I’m surprised that’s accurate. Lots of bangs…place buzz…phone buzzes. Good news; you don’t need to fax it. You can take a picture. Joe Arthur BBQ. That’s Ted’s shirt or hat. Note under the door…and Ted is grouchy. It’s Nate; he pulls…pushes it under, pulls it back, pushes it under, and then he yells at Nate…it’s past curfew. Turns on Keeley’s resort TV, Ted passes out, then we’re at Gooderson Park and Higgins’ house, getting snacks. Ted asks Nate to…asks to speak with Nate. He properly apologizes and says Nate, I love your thoughts. You should do the talk before the game. Nate says, are you drunk?
Ted says no, you’re gonna read this to the team, Nate the great. Also, I noticed blue, red, and yellow magnets on the planning board for the game. Cheers for Nate as he starts, but then he just does very direct feedback…from other coaches in front…un…Mount Isaac? Aw, yo, you got this. Oh no, Isaac tries to help him. Looking tough is different than being tough, Isaac. Sam second-guesses himself. Colin, you try to overstep like you’re a Brazilian player. Just makes me laugh. Dani says roast me, amigo. He says you…he goes, you love…he says football’s life, but you don’t play defense. He says tough but fair. Ted whispers something, but I don’t know what it was, to Nathan. I think to Nathan. Then Roy stands, pulls out…he pulls the paper; he says say it to my face.
This is a really caring moment; it really turned fast and well and against expectations and into depth. It turned not just into comedy but to deep, deep comedy or whatever you want to call it. I don’t know. But he says, you know, jeez, say it to my…well, you’re old and you’re slow, your focus drifts, but anger’s always been your superpower. It felt like in the past you were angry at the grass, and it’s still in there, that anger, Roy, so don’t keep it to yourself. Again, how he dials down his speaking, because he says, because I’m afraid of what it’ll do to you. Then Roy contemplates that in a physical way and then he says let’s go get them. Nate’s stunned. Beard smiles not just once but twice, and Nathan smiles. Then we hear the over thing…Richmond won 1-nil. Roy scored a goal.
They go into the locker room; they cheer. Roy hops on the thing; we’re going out on the town. Keeley, what are we doing? I think they…Roy and Keeley also shared a look. We’re gonna rub it in the city’s face. Where, Keeley? Where, Keeley? Karaoke. Then we go to Sam, who’s singing Wonderwall. Wonderwall, right? That was the song Sam was singing? Really well, and a good song for Sam. Then Rebecca, Sassy…Sassy D, Rebeccam apologizes…Rebecca shrugs. Beard…he’s singing Bad Romance, I think. He’s a wild man, and then he goes quiet. So, I feel like the Beard would be more like one of my roommates, but a lot of times I can act like that where I’m over-the-top and then I immediately go into my subdued mode. He says, you’re…who’s next? It’s Rebecca. To the best friend I had and her daughter, Nora.
She sings Let It Go. Beautiful singing. Everyone is full attention, but we rest on Ted’s hands, who are clasped. Roy is next to Keeley, then Ted’s fingers are…you can tell something’s going on. He leaves; he has to go out of the back room and through a club. Then Ted sits down. He’s kinda having a moment. Ted, dad, Ted; it’s Rebecca. She says try to breathe, stay calm. Ted’s…you know, he’s like…and she goes, it’s gonna be okay. She even touches his face. Come on, come on; here we go. They have a graffiti wall behind…graffeti, as Jamie would say; graffeti, behind them. Graffeti. I don’t know. No, not graffati. Graffiti…I should have just stuck with whatever I said. Ted walks back to the hotel. Focus, Ted. Oh, I love how the focus went from Ted to Rebecca…Ted to Rebecca.
Again, they’re really using the camera to kinda show some of these changes. Show, don’t tell, baby. That’s what they’re doing. They’re really…subtext through the imagery. I love it. So yeah, again, they play with the focus ‘cause you…so you can see Rebecca’s thinking about reacting and how Ted’s feeling. Ted gets back to the hotel, sits down. At some point, I think when he was grouchy with Nate, he knocked over his army person from his son. He sets it back up, signs the paper, takes a picture. Ted’s face…then post-bar or karaoke; Sassy still wants to keep at it. Keeley and Rebecca are going home, but Keeley’s gonna walk home with Roy. Again, we see another Rebecca reaction, which again you could kinda of take however you want it. But it is showing us something.
Then Ted and Keeley…no, no, Roy and Keeley are in the hall. Roy moves in for a big kiss and then nods and says goodnight, Keeley. I love it. She stares after him, checks her breath. Rebecca’s at the bar, waiting…she’s got a little date planned. She gets a text from Ted. Ted’s in bed. There’s a knock on his door; it’s Sassy. She walks in, and that’s the end of the episode. But yeah, let’s roll it up here, make it everything under control. Okay, according to the subtitles there…let’s see, let me bounce back. Nate says no about ten times. Let me see if I can count. Ten, eleven…Trevor, no. Nate wants to do some spacial relations, otherwise things would move about, but people are putting bags in behind him. Trevor really shouldn’t be working there. Team in Liverpool, Everton is…Bryant BBQ…Bryant’s BBQ.
Okay, we gotta roll, big guy. Mom wants to talk to you. They talk about The Beatles…his ex-wife says hey, can you get…I know it’s tough, but can you get the paperwork done? Oh, yeah. Okay, I’ll sign it and send it over. Good luck tomorrow. We’ll be watching. Alright. Ted closes it, then we see Rebecca’s got a happy anniversary, like spam e-mail; 20% off flowers or something from Blooming Brilliant Flowers. She looks off. Keeley says woo-hoo, girls’ trip, Liverpool. Up front; I’m flattered you asked me. We’re both single. It’s gonna be cool. She goes, this is platonic or not? Or plutonic? No, I’m messing with you. Thought you were serious. I mean, can you imagine? Keeley says oh, yeah.
Then Higgins is in a good mood ‘cause he likes flying in the jet, as all…I mean, anybody that flew in a private jet, I’m sure. But she totally says you’re staying home. Okay, who’s ready to show Everton? We’re in the locker room. Dani is…woo-hoo. Why is everybody so down in the dumps? Is it Beyonce? No, nothing like that. Thank goodness. Beard gets the chills. What’s going on? We’re fine, really. Oh yeah, fine. Well, we all…we never win at Everton. That’s not fun. When was the last time you won? Sixty years ago. Whoa, boy. Okay. No, we’re bummed out. O’Brien’s behind his…four weeks behind training. Zoreaux is gonna fill in, from Montreal. Zoreaux…Zoreaux. Ted says Zorro, as that probably would happen…if I was saying it as a presentation or something. Says alright, let’s go.
Reporters grab Ted. With Jamie being gone, you haven’t even scored any goals. Worried about relegation…two games left. What about the definition? They don’t even know…it’s too bad about Jamie leaving. You get a connection to your players, and that connection’s more important than the game, which the reporter marks…takes to heart. Last one’s a Scotch egg. They do share a bemused look. I would not say it’s amused, but I may not know the definition of bemused, either. Nate hops out. Nate’s always in a track suit. I wonder how many different track suits he…the character owns. Then we’re at the hotel, checking in. No, Rebecca and I are gonna hang. That’s your tip. Thinking about that. It’s more than a cash tip. Rebecca says listen, I’m a little stressed.
This is my anniversary weekend from my previous marriage, and spending it alone…Keeley gives her a long, long hug. Rebecca even says oh, that’s a long hug. Reminds me of a long hug I had not that long ago, where I said that’s a long hug. Don’t ship the furniture, don’t move it, don’t take it, don’t send it home, don’t send it to other hotels, Isaac. Movie night or pillow fight? Movie night. 51-50…post-DLR era. That’s what he says. Howdy, neighbor. Rebecca calls; where’s our champagne? Shipley’s Steakhouse…center’s open twenty-four hours a day. What? That’s where Keeley’s just watching herself on the TV, and she’s got crimped hair, so I don’t know how old the thing is supposed to be, but obviously no matter what, it’d be like okay, now the whole team’s gonna be making fun of me.
But this weekend is moving forward, Rebecca reminds her. Then there’s a knock at the door. It’s Sassy; hello, Stinky. Look at this room. Old, grey walnuts…who’s she, a Russian? No. I love you…Flo Collins, my best mate since we were little. She’s also single. She’s got a twelve-year-old daughter named Nora, and I haven’t been in touch with her in six years. Sassy tries to shake Keeley’s hand, but Keeley gives her a huge hug after she says I took a champagne from the hall. So, Keeley loves hugging. I’m Keeley, by the way. Then we see some scenes from the Iron Giant…team watching, Isaac saying no phone use during the thing. Pete’s coach is talking strategy. If you were me, Nate, what would you tell them? No, I want your opinion. You got an opinion? Yeah. No, I can’t tell it to you. What are you afraid is gonna happen?
That you won't like my idea and you’ll…I’ll have to move back in with my parents. I say, Nate thinks like me. Then Ted says okay, I gotta look this stuff…I gotta deal with some stuff. I’ll see you in the morning. Keep an eye on these guys. Seventy-four minutes into this movie, they’re gonna be weeping. Beard says, me too. They talk about Elton John at Rebecca’s wedding and they’re laughing, having fun, flirting with the waiter. Sassy’s very forward. Even Keeley blushes, almost. Sassy’s like Rebecca, you don’t smoke? I gotta go get a smoke. She heads off. That’s when she passes Ted. Flush it again, but harder. How can I help you? Fax machine. Everybody finds that amusing. I think in the US, though, some hotels still have fax machines. What is it, 1997? Ted says yeah, I’m gonna travel back in time.
They have…Ted, Sassy…oh, like Sassy Smurf. I don’t think there was a Sassy Smurf. Too bad. I would have liked that. Then he…it was a call with another concierge, I…with the concierge, the front desk, where they’re talking about…I’ll let you know how the trial goes. Sassy says jeez, a Magnum PI there. I thought I’d flirt with him and see what happens, but oh well. She heads off. We see everybody watching the Iron Giant with tears. Sassy reports back to Keeley about the Marlboro Man, tells her about how she was jealous of Rebecca, so she called her Stinky. To the ties that bind us, to Rebecca. That’s not Rebecca. My Rebecca is not that cold, so that’s Rupert’s thing. You’re gonna love Rebecca when she finally comes out. What about the bill? Oh, I got…Rebecca had gotten it. You want to pretend to pay?
Oh yeah, I used to always do this. Oh, Rebecca, I can’t believe you paid. I was just gonna pay. Then Ted’s room; okay, yeah, the army person is standing up, the figure, right now. Ted goes to pick up the pen. The pen is on his left. Looks himself in the mirror, bangs down. His hair’s much curlier than me, though. Gets the phone…you could just take a photo and send it…e-mail it to me. Ted sits back, hand on his head. That’s when the note tries to go under, under, in, out…Nate, what are you doing? Sorry. Just my thoughts on the team. Go, it’s past curfew. Get outta here. Oh, it’s when Ted throws the note that he knocks over the figure, then he gets in bed, turns on the TV, lays back, starts watching the hotel channel.
Karaoke pubs and clubs…Ted falls asleep very fast. Gooderson Park…Arlo White, Chris Powell, Higgins’ family with two bowls of snacks. Somebody has OJ for the game. Richmond in 18th place. Now or never…was the last time Elvis is number one that they won. Ted asks to speak with Nathan. Sorry, I had to apologize. I tore your head…raised my voice. Okay, thanks. Also, I read your thoughts; they’re great. I agree with them, but I can’t say this to the team. They need to hear it…yeah, from you. Nathan says, I don’t know. Ted says don’t worry about it; it’ll be fun. Then he says…Ted says I feel like you’ve heard enough from me, so I’m gonna hand it over to my buddy Nate the great here. Nate takes a breath. Everybody crosses their arms. Go ahead, Nate. You got this.
He says okay, Isaac…Isaac says go ahead, man, you can do this. That’s when Nate…he looks at Ted; Ted nods. Beard looks at Ted. He says Nate, you act tough. You’re more concerned with that than being tough. Sometimes you can do that without being physical. I hope you don’t mind me saying. Sam? Sam says, oh. He says, you’re…you can be indecisive. You’re…second-guess. Then Nathan starts to pick up steam. Colin, with your step-overs…he goes, quit trying to play like somebody you’re not. Now he’s like a comedian. Rojas. Roast me, amigo. You gotta play some defense. You can’t even cover whoever you’re supposed to be marking. Oh, he said the name of the show to Beard, I think. That’s what Ted whispers to Beard. Is that when I said…?
They say…Ted whispers…yeah, and then Beard shushes him. Tough, but fair. Right, Roy. Roy stands, walks up to Nate. Nate gulps. Towers over him. Go ahead, say what you’re gonna say. Just say it to my face, not with the paper. Just say it. That’s when he says it. Great Roy Kent, getting older, you’re slow, focus drifts. Your speed and your spar and smarts weren’t what made you what you are; it was your anger, your superpower. The best midfielders in the history of the League, but we haven’t seen it. You used to kick the ball hard and be mad at the grass. It’s still in there. He touches Roy’s chest. I’m afraid of what it’ll do to you if you keep it all to yourself. Now he has everybody in the room’s attention, and it worked, ‘cause Roy…he moves the bench, relocates it, and then he says let’s go get them.
Ted almost smiles there, then he just raises his eyebrows while Beard smiles, then he says…oh wait; no, he does whisper something to Nate. Let me see. Sorry. Beard picks up the paper and gives it back to him. Told you it’d be fun. But the thing I was wondering was actually…he said oh, the name of the show is Sex and the City. Beard says, shush. Then the impossibles happen; Richmond have won, 1-nil, rare goal from Roy Kent. Brilliant today, like a man possessed. Everybody’s cheering Richmond, Richmond, Richmond. Rebecca, Sassy, and Keeley come in. Keeley starts hugging everybody. Congratulations. I want to introduce my friend. Oh, Sassy Smurf. Oh, Marlboro Man. Nice to meet you. Keeley says hey, I didn’t know you were here. Surprise.
Thought about you a lot this weekend ‘cause you were on the TV with crimped hair. Then Roy says alright, listen up; we’re going out on the town. Keeley, what is…what is there to do in town? Where are we going? I don’t know, let me help her up here. Well, Liverpool has a lot to offer; pubs to clubs, karaoke. I said maybe, Sam sings. Sorry. You’re gonna be the one that saves me, saves me, ‘cause after all, you are Sam’s wonderwall. Some of the guys have their shirts off and they’re singing along. Sassy heads out for a smoke. Rebecca says I’m gonna join you. Ted’s clapping along. Sassy says what’s up with the Marlboro Man? I kinda like him. Rebecca says jeez, I’m sorry I haven’t kept in touch. I’m glad to see you. I’m glad you’re here, and I’m really sorry. I kinda just disappeared from your life. She says thanks for saying that.
They give each other a hug. She goes okay, well, now it’s time to get outside of this Rupert stuff. You made your choices, now you can make new choices. I’ll always be your biggest defender, but you’re owning up to the part you played. Okay, you’re right. Then Keeley says where’d you guys go? I was worried you left without me. Come on, Rebecca, your song’s up. I didn’t put a song in. Well, maybe somebody did for you. Who could have done that, says Sassy. Yeah, and Beard is really singing it. He’s got a stylin’ shirt on, too. I really like his shirt. It also looks like it’s a material that’s perfect for karaoke-ing, ‘cause it’s wicking and breathable, but not cotton like where it would absorb sweat. Rebecca gets up to sing. Sassy’s streaming it to Nora ‘cause she says this goes out to Nora, or she’s recording it for Nora.
Snow glows white on the mountain tonight, not a footprint to be seen. Kingdom of isolation, looks like I’m the queen. She even points…wind’s howling, swirming storm inside. Heaven knows that I’ve tried. Let it go…you don’t have to let them see. Be the good girl you always have to be. Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know. Roy is actually kind of singing along. Colin and Isaac are rocking back and forth. Sam is cheering her on. Ted’s moving his fingers. Let it go, let it go, turn away and slam the door. So, it’s interesting, even that kind of subtext. Ted has to leave. Cold never bothered me, anyway. He heads out, has to go through a club where…yeah, oh boy, he was…if you’ve…yeah, there’s stuff going on in the club. He sits down outside. Ted, dad, Ted, it’s Rebecca. Ted, are you okay? It’s okay. It’s okay, Ted.
Just try to breathe. I don’t know. She says yeah, you just gotta breathe. Just breathe. She says don’t worry, Ted. You’re alright. She touches his face. There we go, there we go. Come on. Gonna be okay. Come on. Ted starts to breathe. There you go. Ted says I gotta call it a night. I’m gonna go back to the hotel and get some sleep, you know? Want me to walk you back? No. You want to take my car? No, I’m okay. She says alright. Ted says just let Beard know I went back. She goes okay, you get home. Okay, thanks. Goodnight. Ted walks off. Rebecca watches him. Ted’s bent over; we see Rebecca’s face there. Ted’s in his room, sits down. Probably took a shower. He looks fresh. He doesn’t have bangs anymore. His hair is combed. Again we see…that is his left hand. It’s cool.
Got something in common with Ted Lasso, I think. Yeah. I think…yeah, we’re both left-handed. Takes a picture of it and shakes his head a little, breathes. His eyes are sad. His eyes are red. Puts his phone back down, looks at himself in the mirror. Camera looks at him. Ted kinda tries to smile, but he can’t, almost. I never noticed that on the first few watches. Then I wish…take the…Sassy wants to keep going with the guys. Dani only has his jacket on, no shirt. Oh, I can’t find my shirt. There’s also comments going on in the background. Keeley’s gonna walk back with Roy. Rebecca says okay, cool, that’s cool. I’ll be fine. Really? Yeah. My anniversary was yesterday, Rebecca says, so I’m not worried about it anymore. Keeley and Roy step off together. Rebecca smiles, frown-smiles. Keeley gets to her room. This is me.
Yeah, I’m sharing a suite with Rebecca. Roy just goes in for a kiss. One, two, three, embrace…four, five, six. A kinda six-kiss…six-move-kiss or something. He says goodnight…alright, goodnight, and then walks off. She’s like, what the heck? Checks her breath. See Rebecca’s having a drink in her purse. Ted sends her a thank-you message and it’s almost…so, it’s not the next day when she gets the message. It’s still Saturday, and…kinda see a couple interesting shots, then a shot of Ted in bed. Ted’s watching something, actually. He smiles, gets out of bed. Sassy just has her head turned, walks right into the room, right past Ted, and the episode comes to a close, so another great episode of learning from Lasso. Goodnight, everybody.
[END OF RECORDING]
(Transcribed by Leah Hervoly)
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Notable Language:
- Unadulterated Joy in Camping
- Sn’mores
- Unwitting Roast Encouragement
Notable Culture:
- Romancing the Stone
- Iron Giant
- Elton John
Notable Talking Points:
- The Seven Stages of Dog Ear Cleaning
- How many track suits does Nate own?
- Are Ted and I both left-handed??