1111 – Sleepy Wish
Episode 1111 – Sleepy Wish
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls…I guess technically I’m just wearing shorts and a t-shirt, but it is kind of my pajamas or my pre-bed clothing. But I was also…I guess pre-bed clothing or clothing you sleep in your bed in or clothing you…but I was thinking pajamas is one word, right? But then it got shortened to PJs, which I…the ‘s’ is lowercase for…whatever that is, multiple or…I don’t know. First of all, isn’t it a pajama? Or is the top…’cause what if you’re in a one-piece pajama? Like, is it…so, why is…it’s a question and someone will give me the right…why are pajamas plural? So anyway, that’s the kind of questions I’m asking here. Breaking news; I have no idea about anything, and that’ll stay…and you say why…where…well, because you deserve a good night’s sleep, your sleep is important. This is a silly show here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could get the sleep you need and deserve. I’m here to let you know that, then we’ll talk about some stuff about the show, then there’ll be a intro, and then there will be a bedtime story, and I’m so glad you’re here ‘cause this is a special, special episode; 1111. So, what do you say…what do I do next? Thanks for making it possible, my patrons peeps.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We’ve been doing…we do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be thoughts like things on your mind, could be feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally that you’re feeling. So thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time or temperature or routine. It could be something else. Whatever it is that’s keeping you awake…the reason I make the show is twofold.
One, because I’ve had trouble falling asleep, staying asleep…trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep…well…yeah, well…being welcoming, being welcomed in; even those things I say well, not…I gotta welcome some people? Oh boy, that’s gonna be a lot of work. But whatever’s keeping you awake, what I wanted to say is while I might not know exactly what you’re going through, the idea of the show is to make it feel less lonely because there’s a lot of us, either me or somebody that’s listening right now that probably knows how it feels, or that can relate to what you’re going through, ‘cause a lot of us know that there’s some common feelings. That’s why we call it the deep, dark night. The other reason and the most important reason I make the show is because of you. You deserve a good night’s sleep.
You deserve a place you could get some rest, that you could get comfortable, that you could get the rest you need and deserve so that you could fully live your life, that as you get more rest, your life becomes more manageable. You could be out there flourishing. That means the world we live in is a better place if your world’s a better place. So, that’s why I make the show. The way I do it is I try to create a safe place, as I said, where you could set all that stuff aside. I smooth it, I pat it, I rub it down, the safe place. Kinda polish it; I mean, polishing’s a lot of pressure, right? If this safe place had a surface that could gleam, I would…and it was appropriate…’cause you say well, that’s my safe place. I don’t need you putting your…whatever that is, your internal fog on there and then polishing it.
But if it was someplace open where you say okay, don’t…yeah, you could go ahead and polish up that safe place…I can’t…I don’t normally associate safe places with hard rocks…polished rocks, but maybe it’s at the entrance of the safe place. I gotta polish that up. I don’t know, is that quartz or something else? But yeah, I could do that. What do you call that? Breathe on it and then polish it, or I could use some polish; the old turtle wax. That hasn’t come up in a few intros. I’m still confused about that. I say, who came up with that…? How many turtles wax their shells? Then I think the posit was during…don’t do this, but imagine…during mating season, imaginarily polish a turtle’s shell.
But then probably what would happen is if I was playing that if I did, they’d say what happened to the turtle population in this…in the 315 area code in…back when Scoots was a kid? There was a…during this five-year period…oh, he thought he was helping the turtles. He was polishing their shells with turtle wax, and turns out, it makes turtles very unattractive to their mates. Makes them hard to find a mate. One, they smell like turtle wax, and I guess I didn’t realize it ‘cause it was during my…what was supposed to be my…I said oh, that’s why. I’m covered in turtle wax? That’s why you won't go out with me. They said no, that’s just a symptom of…and I say okay, well, I’m gonna go wax some more turtles. Then finally the company called me and they said it’s not turtle wax.
I said, are…is this Abbott and Costello calling me from the big farm in the sky? It’s not for waxing turtle…turtle wax is not for waxing turtles. Actually, they were very patriot…they said son…and I said, but it’s called turtle wax, and I’m pretty sure it has a shiny turtle…at least in 1991, it did. I’m pretty sure there’s a shiny, happy turtle on there. So, you’re telling me that this stuff is just called turtle wax and the turtle on…and they say yeah, it’s called marketing. I’d say exactly; if I wanted to wax some turtles, you’ve got yourself a winning product. That turtle seems very happy. I say, how do I make a turtle happy? Oh, turtle wax. Of course a turtle’s gonna want his shell waxed. Again, none of this really happened, just in case you’re…I mean, in my mind it did. I said, that’ll fix everything.
I’ll feel it…finally I’ll feel like a good person and part of Mother Nature if I could just wax some turtle shells. I’ll get it right this time. It turns out I was wrong about everything, and that’s okay, too. You say okay…oh, it’s for car polish, huh. Is there a car called the turtle? No. Briefly there was a car called the turtle, but it was a Volkswagen competitor. It didn’t last. Okay, are cars nicknamed The Turtle? No. I mean, I guess we get in a car like a…okay, I mean, that’s a stretch. It works though, and I guess I don’t understand why. Once again, branding; don’t understand it. But I say okay, and they say yeah, it’s just simple. I say oh, okay, so it’s simple but not so simple that I should…but I shouldn’t…it’s simple, but it’s for waxing cars; not turtles. Exactly. Thanks for your time. Okay, I’m glad we got that clear.
So, it’s simple but it’s beyond words. Okay, now I’m getting it. Some part of my brain just said it’s beyond words. You just get it. I’d say yeah, I just get it, but don’t under…make sure to not understand. Turtle wax; for waxing your car, not for waxing turtles. This is the second intro, at least, that this has come up. Speaking for turtles, please don’t wax us. We don’t understand it and honestly, it probably won't help us find any mates or sustain…probably not good for us. If Mother Nature wants our turtles waxed, she’ll find a way. So thank you on behalf of…please don’t wax us. Also, don’t wax tortoises. Don’t try to get around it. On behalf of tortoises, we say hey, no thanks. What’s wrong…what do we have, too many syllables in our name, so you couldn’t call it tortoise wax?
Also hey, don’t assume tortoises and turtles are the same thing, even though Scooter doesn’t know. Maybe they are. Okay, enough of that. I thought I was…oh, I was waxing my safe place. I was waxing on a safe place. Then I’ll send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’ll use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. We just got caught up in a couple of those, ‘cause I guess I was imagining myself polish…oh yeah, ‘cause I was polish…and then I said well, I could use some turtle wax if I’m gonna polish anything or wax it. So yeah, that…those are pointless meanders and superfluous tangents, not traditionally known to help people fall asleep, even though they are…actually, they are traditionally known…not popularly known to help people fall asleep.
Traditionally they are. Someone talking about nothing that you could just barely listen to; that’s what puts people to sleep. That’s what I make. I’ve been doing it…this is Episode 1111, believe it or not. As I said earlier, I make the show ‘cause you deserve a good night’s sleep and I’ve been there, but there are a few things to know if this is your first episode. Yeah, you’ve heard it; this podcast is very strange, very different. You’re talking about someone who grew up thinking maybe one…my all…all my adolescence will be solved if I could just wax some turtles. Who attaches his self-esteem to actions like waxing turtles based on the marketing of a product for cars, which I don’t even know if they actually need to be waxed? So, I guess on the East Coast, with all the salt, they probably do after…the old spring waxing.
But only cars; not turtles. Again, just because spring is in the air…we’ll wax a car with your turtle wax; not a turtle. Could also be confusing if a pet…I mean, hopefully no pet stores sold turtle wax. Maybe there is some sort of…that’s…but probably not. Then for someone like me, they say, turtle snacks. No, no; they say…did you say you need turtle wax, son? No, I need some turtle snacks. They say okay, I don’t know what…I think I’ve seen at the zoo tortoises chomping on leafy greens. Okay, I thought this was a sleep podcast. You’re right. So, this is a podcast you don’t really listen to. It doesn’t really put you to sleep, and yeah, it’s very different. It takes two or three tries for most people to get into the show, but it is free. So just see how it goes, and that’s because it’s so different.
You don’t really listen to me; just kinda barely listen. I’m like a voice in the background talking for your benefit, but you don’t have to pay attention to me. So, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff. I’m actually not here to put you to sleep; I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie, your bore…your neigh-bore, your bore-bor, to be your friend in the deep, dark night and keep you company whether you’re listening or not, whether you’re awake or asleep. There’s no pressure to fall asleep. I’m gonna be here to the very end of the show, and if you can’t sleep, I’ll be here for you, and if you’re not listening, I’ll be here for you. I’ve been doing this since 2013 because you deserve a good night’s sleep.
Even if you loathe me and you say this show is not for me, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou; there’s other sleep podcasts out there and other sleepy stuff, so check those out. So, that’s a couple things to know; a podcast you don’t really listen to, I’m not everybody’s cup of tea, it takes a few times listening, I don’t really put you to sleep…oh, more…the structure of the show also throws people off. Let me just explain to you the structure of the show. You could…you can adjust as you become a regular listener. Show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in. You say okay, I got a basic idea for the show…like, what he show…to expect.
Then there’s support for the show so the show can be free versus being paid only. That’s my preference and it benefits a lot of people, and the people that take action to support the show, it benefits I think nine people for every one person. So, it’s pretty cool. That’s what I think works best, so having the sponsor and listener support. Then there’s the intro, which comes after some of the support stuff, but some people lump it all together. But the intro is really a show within a show, which you’ve seen. Turtle wax has come up before, but how many other podcasts are you getting…pondering…you’re confused…you’re as confused as I am. Unless you’re in the auto industry, you’re like, you’re right. Was there a time…? I mean, I…okay, no, you’re right.
Part of my brain…I said, was there ever a time where there were racing turtles? I said oh yeah, there are turtle races, but those turtles actually rely on their…I mean, their…they get a number sometimes painted on their shell, but usually their shells…if it was shiny, it would be harder to pay…you say oh, I can’t follow the turtle race; the turtles are too shiny. So, that’s not why they called it turtle wax, either. But also, I gotta shrug my shoulders and say it kinda works, as confusing as it is. Now, if you’re listening and you’re into analytics, someone out there is saying…like, three months from now they say strange; when that episode of Sleep With Me came out, there was a .02 increase in searches for turtle wax. I don’t even know if it exists anymore.
I don’t know if that was the one that came in a orange bottle or if it came in a silver bottle. Or maybe not; I don’t know. So, what was I…? Oh, the intro. So, the intro goes on and on and on to ease you into bedtime. So, the intro is not so much made to put you to sleep but to keep you company and give you some space between the day and falling asleep as you get ready for bed or as you’re in bed getting comfortable. It’s like a lowering of the volume or some twilight time versus…now, there is a percentage of people that fall asleep, there’s a small percentage of people that skip the intro, but for most listeners, it’s part of their wind-down routine, and that’s what most sleep stuff has shown to work, is having thirty minutes of wind-down to kinda set the mood, I guess, to fall asleep or to set the mood not to listen or to say I’m so confused I stopped listening to you, even though you almost barely didn’t make any sense.
I say, thanks for that compliment. So, that’s the intro, then again there’s more support between the intro and the bedtime story so the show’s free. That’s cool, and then there’s our bedtime story. Tonight it’ll be 1111, so some wishes for the podcast and a little bit of the history of the podcast. Then what else? Oh, and then there’s thank-yous at the end of the show. So, that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show. I’m really glad you’re here. I really appreciate you checking this podcast…please don’t wax any turtles except in your mind. A shiny turtle in your mind may be helpful. Was it for the…? There was also…wow, turtles in the eighties were really involved in marketing. They had a heyday, huh?
‘Cause there was also that Tootsie Pop turtle…or that was a tortoise, and that…but that was more a symbol of wisdom. Maybe there was also an owl, so they were choosing creatures that were wise, where I don’t think the turtle wax has anything to do with wisdom, except for…the wisest turtles have their turtles waxed in spring…except they don’t. So anyway, I’m glad you’re here. I really work hard, I really yearn and I strive, I really hope…gonna help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple of ways I’m able to do it for you for free twice a week.
Alright everybody, this is Scoots here and this is a new…or yeah, it’s a new episode, obviously, if you’re listening, but this is a new approach. I don’t even know how this is gonna go, but usually is…I think it’s been a while.
I don’t know if we’ve done…what do you call them, even? A place-marking episode or a bookend…? It’s not a bookend episode. But this is Episode 1111, or it’s supposed to be. I’m recording this…there’s a lot of times I’m surprised. So, I’m gonna kinda talk about…it’s a wish episode, ‘cause I think you’re supposed to make wishes at 11/11. Now unfortunately it’s not 2011 and this won't come out on 11/11, but it will…it is Episode 1111, or 1,111. I think…maybe we just…oh no, we passed 1,000 episodes a while ago. So what I’m gonna do is run through some wishes I have, maybe run through a little bit of the history of the podcast as related to some of my wishes, and then do…on the back-half of the episode, some listeners took the time to participate. So, we’ll see how that goes.
Okay, so I guess my wish is for you, as a listener right now, if you’re listening to this, this is really what I wish for you, and when I say I wish for you, I hope deeply…I yearn for you to feel valued and seen, and I guess maybe to spread that to other people and make them feel valued and seen. Yeah, it’s reflective too, ‘cause I…that’s the person I want to be, is someone that feels valued and seen by making other people feel valued and seen. So, that’s a wish I have…a desire I have for all you that are listening right now, and for you to feel safe, at least in this moment, or some sense of safety, whether it’s this podcast being a port in the storm for you or that you just develop this podcast or something else as part of your bedtime routine, to create a kinda sense of comfort and safe space where ideally you could get the sleep you need.
That’s really what this show is about, and that goes into the wishes I repeat every episode. I want this podcast to be there for you so you could get the rest you need, so that your life is more manageable, and I probably already talked about it in the intro, but I mean, a lot of us listening know how that feels, and that’s kinda my deep desire for you, is that you get the rest you need on a regular basis, at least better than baseball. What do they hit, like thirty…a top baseball player his 300 or something? So three out of ten. I’d like to be around seven out of ten. That’s about when…my sleep now with a regular wind down routine…sometimes it’s eight out of ten nights I get a good night’s sleep.
Then if your life becomes manageable, that you could just be there and be present in your life, live your life, take part in it, and start to flourish. That’s really what I desire for all of you. So, those are my wishes for you as a listener and all those things that come along with all that stuff, and all that stuff that happens in-between all that stuff. I know life isn’t easy. Being human’s not easy, and not being able to sleep on top of that is tough. I know that also, speaking from experience, I don’t always feel like I’m the person I want to be, right? That kinda goes into some of my wishes around the podcast and for the future of the podcast, is that really, I make the show, I manage…anyway, is that my fears and my need for certainty or my default behaviors don’t get in the way of the podcast, ‘cause they…that’s one of the biggest challenges of the podcast, is me, ‘cause it can be really hard for me.
Just like I kinda said, for all you, my desire too is to feel okay and trust things are gonna work out and not try to force solutions or run around like that little chicken that’s in the books, thinking oh, why can’t I…why isn’t this happening or why isn’t this happening, or I need certainty, I need to know it’s gonna be okay, or I need this many…that gets in the way of me doing my best job and also closes me off from change and saying oh, okay, well, maybe this has to change with the show, or maybe this has to change with the show. It’s like I’m not able to see…my vision is only focused on the non-positive outcomes and stuff like that.
So, I really have a wish that I keep growing and I can stay out of the way of the podcast and know that if I’m just doing…I don’t know, this is the hardest part, honestly, is to be like okay, if I do the best job I can making the podcast to put people to sleep and it puts people to sleep, that it’ll be okay and that enough…that the rest of the stuff outside of that would…which is under my control, will happen as long as I’m trying to create a safe place and put you to sleep, that everything else…if I do my best, that things are gonna be okay. My desires for me to get to a place where at least I’m…just like I kinda talked about. I think I’m in the baseball player zone now.
It’s like oh, if I…and I’m not a all-star, so I don’t know if I’m…maybe I’m…I don’t know if I’m in the Major Leagues where I say okay, two out of ten times I can trust things are gonna be okay. Yeah, so let’s see, let’s go into the history of the podcast a little bit, ‘cause this is a major…1111 itself is just a symbolic number, but wow, the show has been coming out now for nine years, and we’re about to enter the 11th year of making the show. Wait, so is it ten years? So, I started the podcast, really…I don’t know…I wont go into the pre…I don’t know where I’m going with this. But yeah, I started the show…the show started coming out in the feed in 2013 in the fall, like right around now, October, I think. So let’s see, 2014, ‘15, ‘16, ‘17, ‘18, ‘19, ‘20, ‘21, ‘22. Yeah, that’s nine years and ten calendar years of making it. Is that right?
I don’t know. ‘13, ‘14, ‘15, ‘16, ‘17, ‘18, ‘19, ‘21, ‘22, yeah. So wow, eleven calendar years coming up. Holy cow, I mean, really, I had no…that’s hard for me to process. Probably…so let’s steer around that, ‘cause then I start to get…the old forlorn comes up. But yeah, when I started making this show way back then, it had been something I had put off for years and years and years. If you’re new to the show, you might not know that, but maybe you could relate to having that creative idea and then being like no, that’s not a good idea, ‘cause that was years and years and years…I actually heard from somebody…I don’t even know what year it was; 2007, that they said they found a…in my family…is that right? I don’t…I’ll have to look. A test episode or something.
But that was even before…I don’t know; was that before podcasts? That doesn’t make sense. But I don’t know. But so, I don’t know, at some point I started making the show because…just other stuff. I said okay, let’s just try as a hobby. I had no experience in audio or audio engine…none of that stuff. So just in case you’re in that place where you’re like, I can’t do it, I can relate, and I guess that’s another wish. I wish for you to…not to try, but to have that love and to have what you need to get over that hump, because it’s tough. It was tough for me, and there was a lot of things in the way of that. So, eventually I started making the show and I had a full-time job, and it was just a hobby and an experiment, really.
I say well, could I…I have this idea; a podcast that puts people to sleep, where someone tells you bedtime stories you don’t really listen to. I think even at the time, even the show had to develop. This is the kinda end product I kinda had in mind in my heart, at least, was…I don’t know, a fun show that you don’t really…you could listen to but you don’t really listen to with stories. I said, would anybody…I know I would like that and I know I’ve encountered other people that might like that. Can I follow through on it? That was mostly my concern at the time. It wasn’t even will it work, ‘cause I guess part of me, to be honest, was…I was like, I think this is a decent idea that I’ve been avoiding for years and years and years. I think it will work if I…but I don’t know if I’m the one to make it work.
I don’t know if I can…I’ve…I don’t have a history of following through on stuff. So, that was my biggest commitment, and I had read stuff that it takes three years to really…and this was back in 2013 — to get a podcast to know if you’re gonna have a audience or anything or anybody to listen or that it’s…just do it as a hobby for three years, basically. So then I started…so I said well, could I make it for two years, I think, and then there was an…a couple other facts that were useful to me was that podcasts…and again, this was like, 2013 numbers, but podcasts that record Episode 1, only 50% of those record Episode 2, and then podcasts that record Episode 2, only 50% of those record Episode 7 or 8, and then podcasts that record Episode 7 or 8, only 50% of those record Episode 25 or 20 or 18 or something, or 12.
So, I kinda set those as my goals, even though part…even though when I was making it, I didn’t think I could keep following through, or part of me was afraid. Again, there’s another wish I had for all you listening, is that you could have that place and that encouragement or not feel alone, to be like hey, there’s somebody else out there that feels like stopping or this isn’t gonna work out. That’s not to say that stuff doesn’t work out, which I guess I don’t know how long I’ll go on about the history of the podcast, or maybe this will end up being two different episodes? I don’t know. But what was my point? Huh. Oh, giving up, stopping…oh, that’s not to say that there isn’t times to change or to give up or change direction, because the podcast wasn’t the first thing I tried, right?
I think that’s also important when I talk to people one-on-one, is this might be the thing you make before the thing…or before the thing you make before the thing you make, because I had a couple other things that I felt strongly about that didn’t work out, and — creatively — but that led…I think those had…but that I worked on really hard for a while; years, and that…yeah, that led to the podcast. Also, I guess one part of the early podcast development that a lot of people know about but not everybody, maybe, if you’re newer, is I also had to get sober. I got sober…and this has nothing to do with the podcast timing-wise. The podcast didn’t help get me sober, but it just happened that the end of my drinking career, when it really had to end, came just a couple months after making the podcast.
There was a couple things that were clear that the podcast probably helped me a little bit on the way…was one, I really wanted to make the podcast, but that was getting in the way of it. Because I was just…huh, how do I…? I don’t want to get too big into addiction and stuff, but I was constantly thinking about it, so I’d be like okay, let me just put…okay, let me just get…if you record this podcast episode, then you can do whatever you want afterwards. But then that didn’t…I said well, let me just have a couple then and then I’ll record the podcast episode, but I wasn’t the kind of person that…like, once it turned on, it was just…when I need to make the podcast, I need to be fully available.
Even one or two drinks, immediately I was thinking about the third or the fourth one, but it was also something in me changed where I wasn’t…and again, this isn’t based on chemistry; it’s just based on…’cause you say well, that’s only…just something in me changed. So, my…whatever, creative stuff about the podcast wasn’t there anymore, or whatever was…I was numb to it. So whatever, that was just one thing I noticed. It wasn’t necessarily the stuff that pushed me over the hump, but it might have been one little tiny weight on the scales. So anyway, I just…so, I started the podcast in October. I actually stopped drinking in Dec…the end of December, or the end of the year, 2013.
That did give me a lot of extra time, so, in sobriety, the podcast…I suddenly had a lot more time, even…anyway, I don’t want to get too deep…well, it’s…’cause I was making the podcast late, like after work at night, on the train to and from work, walking to work, ‘cause I didn’t have a car, listening to the podcast episodes on my lunch…any breaks I had. I was working on the podcast. A lot of that time…not…some of that time I would have been hungover or the…late…nights or after work. Again, I was a co-parent at the time, so it was like, the nights I didn’t have my daughter, if I got home from work at 5:30, realistically that’s five hours I could work on the podcast, and that would have been five hours I would have been doing other stuff where I wasn’t creatively present.
So, okay, so then I started making the show, and it basically became a full-time hobby very quickly, ‘cause the podcast started with shorter episodes and I realized pretty…I don’t know how long it took me to realize that I don’t…I’d have to look back at the episode lengths, but where I realized okay, this isn’t gonna work; the episodes need to be over an hour, or I’d like them to be. I also started off writing every single episode ahead of time on the train going to and from work. The podcast was coming out three times a week. Again, I didn’t know…again, it was just an experiment and it was based on oh, well, I wish the podcast would come out five times a week. I said well, if I work every waking minute that I’m not at work, I could get it out three times a week.
Then I was writing…at first I was writing three different style…three different fictional stories, I think, on the train, and then we would alternate between those three. Then I was like wait a second, let’s just write…let’s just go with one. So then it was like okay, let’s just do…After the Glass Slipper I think might have been our first series that we just went to full-time. Then out of that became like, okay, writing three episodes a week is nearly impossible. Maybe I could write one episode a week. Again, this was when I was literally taking the train home and then writing the episodes, recording them, then editing them, and then putting them out the next day. There was no lead time. Again, it was just a different thing. The show was a different level of quality and there really wasn’t a big audience.
I know there’s some people that are listening now that have been listening the whole time, but for the most part, it was like…and there were no expectations. There wasn’t a prior body of work to say oh, this isn’t…this thing…it was something that was being developed. So, I did that for a while, and I’m trying to think of the historical markers of the show; making it to Episode 100, or 8…whatever. My biggest mistake was making Episode 25 and then just thinking okay, let’s just make it to 100…I think ‘til a year, and then it was like okay, let’s just make it to two years once I’ve made it to a year.
I wish…looking back, I have a wish, or anybody else to say well, why don’t you check in with yourself every month and see if it’s sustainable to keep doing something or what changes maybe you might want to make to take better care of yourself, because that’s honestly a wish I have for people, is don’t over…nothing came from me overdoing it. There was none of the success…I don’t think that’s a lesson to be taken. It was, I was overdoing it and it was probably a part of my personal situation, and replacing one thing with another thing or whatever. I don’t know what it was, but I would say…because again, the success of the podcast actually came when I pared down to two episodes, which I thought was one of the biggest setbacks. It was devastating to me, and that was just because we didn’t have the support to make three episodes.
It was like, this doesn’t…again, it was like, this is only because you’re doing it. There isn’t a support there if it was someone else doing it, so let’s just do two episodes. So, times I’ve cut back on stuff has actually been the times that the podcast has moved forward and improved in quality, but that’s ahead of ourselves anyway. So yeah, at some point I started trying to find someone to edit the show. I found Chris Posty Posterson, then we started a Patreon and I said okay, if I can bring in money…enough money through Patreon to pay him to edit one episode a week, then two episodes a week…I think that’s where we hit a standby…a standstill.
Not on the Patreon, but was like okay, those were the goals around the Patreon, and that was another mistake I made, and again kinda go back to my fears and need for certainty, was…and if you listen to early episodes, maybe you hear it; instead of asking for the value of the…what people were getting out of the podcast, I’d say hey, if you’re listening to this podcast three times a week, three new episodes, it’s probably worth ten or twenty bucks to you, maybe…or five bucks if you can afford it. That was my original plan, but I fell into a delusion based on fear and unrealistic ex…need for certainty. I changed everything…all…everything that Patreon and all the data at the time said this was a bad idea because you can only get a tiny, tiny percentage of your audience to support you, just realistically.
So, that’s why I say well, if you…a tiny percentage of people can…are willing to support the show at ten or twenty bucks a month, that can…everybody can benefit from that. But I said no, Sleep With Me is…so many people fall asleep to Sleep With Me; it’s different. So, I think we could get a lot of people at those levels, but also a ton of people at a dollar a month. But the numbers don’t…aren’t based on the number…the amount of money you’re asking for. It’s just a fixed…more-or-less a fixed number. Some people will say that’s not true, but I’ve never seen the data to back it up. I would be impressed if someone was getting 4%, 5%, or 6%…7% of their audience. Maybe they have…I don’t…I’d say man, that’s absolutely amazing.
But for most shows, it’s like 1% or less of people are willing to pay to support the show, no matter if it’s a dollar or twenty dollars. You can get 1% to support you with $20, but it’s really hard to get more than 1% of people no matter how low you’re asking. You can eventually get up slowly above 1%, but I’ve never seen it above 2%, maybe. Or I don’t know. This isn’t a good time to discuss analytics, ‘cause I’m not good at that. But so, I was like okay, we’ll be able to get 10% of people to give a dollar, and then 1% or 2% of people to give $5, $10, or $20. That’ll pay for the editing and eventually mean that maybe eventually I could work…I could get paid to work on the podcast a little bit, at least equal to part of what I was getting paid at my day job.
That was a mistake, a big, big mistake, and it set the podcast back, probably, for a while, ‘cause I stuck to it for a while until some listeners — I think Wendy and Julie are two of the people I’m thinking of — reached out to me and said what are you doing? The podcast is not worth a dollar. I mean, maybe if someone casually listened once, but I rely on it every single night to fall asleep, or I rely on it four nights or five nights a week. So, I can hear it in your voice; you’re letting your self-esteem get in the way or your fear getting in the way of asking for what you and your audience values the show at. So eventually I changed patterns and eventually the good news was we brought in enough money to pay Posty twice a week, for two episodes a week.
Again, it wasn’t that…it wasn’t a financial thing; it was from other people’s perspective of a freelancer. It’s like well, that’s how much time…free time I have to do work on freelance. Then eventually Posty started doing some super deluxe episodes, then we found Carl W. who edits the episode…would edit a episode a week. Eventually I found out with my day job and just like okay, like…it needs sponsors. If I want to…making the podcast sustainable…I don’t know if I want to get caught up in that, to be honest with you, ‘cause again, it gets into…my needs get in the way of all this, and it’s just confusing making something free and then giving it away or having it be sponsor-supported and then listener-supported. Especially for somebody like me, I guess it’s a constant growth opportunity.
So, even talking about it, I’m kinda feeling myself feeling shut down a little bit. I guess that’s part of my growth, is saying man, at the same time, as hard as it’s been, I’ve been able to make the show and sustain the show. So, my wish I guess is coming true right now; is I really am grateful for that fact that those people came in and supported the show, those of you…some of you that are listening that have been there since the beginning. I was able to pay Posty and then have Carl, and that help cleared up more creative space for the show, and then I was able to pay for other stuff, and then I was able to slowly cut back on my job. I don’t know if I cut back over two years or a year; I can’t remember anymore, but where…between the kinda…particularly at the time, the Patreon support and then the sponsor support was like, I was able to save an emergency fund.
That’s what I did first, and then tried to figure out health insurance, and then…well, I guess I got practice doing that ‘cause it was like okay, if I’m only working half-time, I know how much I’m gonna have to pay. I had to pay for half my insurance, I think, maybe? Or once I went from three-quarter time to half-time? I don’t know. But then when I was half-time at work, working twenty hours a week or twenty-four, maybe…I can’t remember…but whatever, where I was like okay, then how much is independent insurance gonna cost me or whatever from the ex…California exchange?
Then yeah, then I was able to transition from my job to working on the podcast full-time, and eventually try to trim the podcast to where it is sustainable where I’m trying to be as healthy as I can and set a good example and be available and not overdo it and ask for help and get help where I can, and pay the people that…pay people that are involved with the podcast. So, I guess it comes back to wishes. It’s like, in some sense my wish came true, that I said what…can I try to do this idea? Will it work? Yeah, and it worked because other people out there were willing to help and that got something out of it, and it helped people, and it did help make people feel less alone in the deep, dark night, and it’s helped me feel less alone in the deep, dark night of my mind. You know what I’m saying? So, yeah.
But enough about me; let’s get to these listener…if I can find it, the listener wishes here. Okay, let me see…okay. So, what’s your wish? Oh, fifty-four comments; cool. Oh, I lost it. Heh. Okay, there we go. There it is; so, let’s start a bedtime story here where Susan, once upon a time, said my wish for Sleep With Me, to be reliable and secure way to make a nice living as long as he wants to be. Yeah, that’s something I wish too, is…and that Sleep With Me…I guess those are kinda the wishes I didn’t share, ‘cause it’s like yeah, being in other languages or maybe other people doing versions of it, and…yeah, I don’t know. But again, I guess that’s my…part of it is my own perspective, too. It’s like oh, I get to work on this show. I was trying to find that balance between what’s under my control and what isn’t.
Thanks, Susan. Robert says all those ones in a row look like hands knocking on a door. I’d like to see a new deep dive into collecting knots…knocks, as if someone rapping gently at my chamber door. Yeah, I think we have a couple knock…no, I think we have a knock episode coming out. I don’t know if we do. It’s something knock-related, Robert…oh, that’s knocks…oh, I explained it. I think it comes out in the holidays, is of me and my dog Koa; we listen to recorded knocks as our hobby. You could find some of those shows in the archives if you just search for K-N-O-C-K-S. There should be a few in there, and then if you’re a $10 or $20-patron, you definitely get access to all of them. Yeah, those are fun episodes. Janet would like Ray to meet and shawl Nana. I think they would make a lovely couple.
Yeah, I guess…I don’t think Ray…I think Ray kinda is a example…so, the Ray…Ray is my neighbor and he comes on and does shows. We’re getting ready to…oh, I don’t know if it’ll come out before or after this. Ray is supposed to do a Halloween-themed show for us, so yeah. So, yeah, and I don’t know…nana doesn’t really…I don’t think nana really…nana’s never had her own episode, that I know of. Has she, though? Trying to think of what I recorded. It’s hard for me because I record episodes three or four months out. Then this one is like, I’m recording it a little bit sooner. But yeah, nana does get some…wait, I thought there was one with nana in the title. Oh yeah, Nana’s…Bartlett’s Quoted Nana’s Quotations. Nana’s Bartlett’s Book of Quotations. Did that already come out?
I don’t think so, but that’s scheduled, Janet. Pete says if you could do one page of a old toy catalog…yeah, actually we have a toy catalog episode. I think I replied to that. That was recorded and that it’ll come out in the holiday season. We’ve been doing those magic episodes which were kinda similar. Charlotte asks another random podcast time capsule episode where you pick episode titles at random and make up a story. Yeah, we did that, Charlotte, with one of the live shows, the 20…what year was it? 2022 live shows. Don’t know if it was streamed or recorded, though, but I’ll have to take a look. But yeah, those are fun to use the old episode titles. Okay, then Stephen says old catalog…we…yeah, we did do that. Buddy, buddy, buddy…Kat…that’s from Kat, and Kat also even made a shirt that says that.
What would it be like if a few of the characters met up in a coffee shop? I would not even know. I don’t know if I have a lot of the…I don’t know if I have the ability…super doll was one of the ones that taught me the limits of having…that Sleep With Me is best when it’s a pair of characters interacting. But yeah, two characters could be at a coffee shop. I don’t know if Bernie…Bernie and Ray’s…their voices are a little too similar, so it’d be confusing for people. Oh, and then it’d be funny to hear them commenting on how I’ve written their stories. It’d be funny for After the Glass Slipper, I think. Agatha and Lady Witchbeard; I’m sure they’d have a lot of comments about it. At least Michelle also…knock, knock, knock; shout-out on a listener’s door. Stanley wants to bring back Kiwi Shavers.
Kiwi Shavers is…the podcast gets…there’s negativity that comes our way on a regular daily basis, and I don’t even know if…was that a public episode? But Kiwi Shavers was one of the most e-mails I’ve ever gotten, non-positive. Always the non-positive stuff, usually. We get regular nice stuff on a regular basis too, so it’s not to say that, but the concentrated stuff is always non-positive, and that was one of the most non-positive ones. I think there was only one or two other times where there was a promo or for a show or something. But so, Kiwi Shavers, Stanley will only make it back as a Patreon…I could work out a Patreon episode, maybe. Maybe next summer when I’m where Kiwi Shavers was. But Kiwi Shavers was just a Australian-accented adventurer named Kiwi Shavers, and he had a saying.
I’m trying to think…let’s go…it was kinda like, let’s go Kiwi Shavers. That was the kinda rhyme of it. I don’t even know what the content was ‘cause I haven’t listened to the episode in a long time, but it was a fun episode to…I remember recording that episode and having tons of fun, but I don’t think that’s what most listeners…especially on the free feed, are looking for, is me having fun. So, yeah. Let’s see; catalog idea…Wendy likes that. Maybe the Archie McPhee toy catalog…I have to download that and check it out, yeah. Britney gives the catalog a shout-out. Let’s see, E. Margaret says Roy…appearance from ROYGBIV Institute would be awesome. It would be. I don’t think…I think all the holiday…I have to put that down maybe for 2023 or…I’m trying to think of what other things ROYGB…ROYGBIV Institute.
I mean, maybe we could do something about rainbows? But yeah, I think all of 2022, other than this episode and Ray’s episode, is recorded, I think. Knock on wood. Oh, maybe a couple Nuns in Space episodes. Yeah, I think. But yeah, ROYGBIV, that’s always interesting. Cornelia and Snow like personal episodes. It’s hard for me to know the personal episodes until they come out, because I’m recording so much. But I think probably the nana’s book…I’m trying…I have no…yeah, I guess I don’t have the list of episodes in front of me. They’ve been recorded, but I know we have…so yeah, I don’t know what I have coming up, but I’m sure there’s personal episodes recorded. Heidi says maybe Ray reading a catalog. Maybe. Yeah, maybe. I’d have to take a look at that.
Ray…see, I have one Ray episode scheduled to be recorded, and then Ray’s Father’s Day for next year is already recorded for 2023. Stacy would love a old holiday catalog, Christmas catalog. Let’s see, Chris wanted access to all the old Game of Thrones episodes. Those are actually…Chris is a $10-patron, so they’re actually in the $10-feed, including a couple all-night episodes. Then yeah, unfortunately I’m not able to take requests for TV recaps. If I ever am in a position to do so, I’ll put it out to patrons. But it’s just that again, it’s…our planning goes so far out that it’s just…and I get so many different TV requests. Again, it’s like, for me, I have to watch the episodes three or four times, so I’m not able to take any TV requests. But those are cool ideas, Chris.
Oh, and Chris did want to talk about…but there is a Angela Lansbury-themed episode that probably came out before this episode where I came up with the idea for Angela Lansbury Con. Originally I thought it would be cool to cosplay at it, but then I got…kinda got lost on doing a history of Angela Lansbury roles. But I guess it’d be cool to go to…I think it’d be a part of another…I think that was another episode where I was like, oh, let’s have some cons inside of cons. Particularly it was just a movie with a gaming con in there. Can’t remember what movie it was. It was like video game characters. I don’t know; was it a old movie I was re-watching? It wasn’t Sonic 2, but not important. Let’s see, Bernie the Butterfly…did Bernie…? I don’t think I have any Bernie episodes recorded.
Ted says bear with the comic…comet on his belly redo. Maybe you could re-release those. I thought we have re-released them before. I mean, those should all be in the patron feed. I haven’t really done any redos of episodes. I’ve been meaning to do Episode 1 redo probably for patrons or something or maybe for the free feed. So, I don’t know if that’s something we could do eventually. Cathy loves the Trader Joe’s Fearless Flyer episodes. Yeah, those still come out in the…occasionally, depending on the health…the health of Patreon and stuff like that, on…what is that thing called? Patreon, in the $10 and $20-feeds. There’s a lot in even the $5-feed. Then I might do one for the October live show. Humphrey says catalogs or TNGs. Yeah, we have the catalog episodes recorded and then we have TNG on the schedule, but not in the…not…in the 2023 schedule, but no episodes recorded at this point.
Let’s see, Snow says Ray meets someone at a theme park. Yeah, so kinda the more specific episode ideas, which is…I’m not a…yeah, it’s…but yeah, Ray has met some people at theme parks and had fun…have dinner together. Sounds like a early Ray episode, actually, Snow. Ray…yeah, Ray’s so friendly that he has such a easy job making connection with other people. Let’s see, Al says the personal stories. Yeah, I think we have…again, maybe I could look if I have a chance…oh no, none of my devices will look up that, where we keep all the episodes that I’ve recorded. Maybe I can look on…let’s see, I want to get through all these, though. Clara says wish for another board game unboxing. There is one recorded; I don’t think it’s scheduled for this year. I think it’s a 2023 episode.
It’s a two…oh no, it’s a unboxing of one game and then a bunch of stuff from another gaming company. So, that’s coming up. I just don’t think…I don’t know. There’s a couple…what are we in? August? I don’t know what the openings are. It could be coming out this year, Clara. Clara…Clara? Sorry. Yeah. Constance says love hearing Scooter’s personal stories, but hope that no matter how much tension we hold or interest we have, we exhale and drift off into deep slumber. Thanks, Constance. Yeah, let’s kinda share that wish. But I mean, it is a important reminder; there is a percentage of people that listen to the show, and I’m glad you’re…I’m here with me…you right now, that can’t sleep or that need a break during the day, and that’s…the show’s kinda also designed with them in mind to keep everybody company.
Not that…I’m not…not that you were saying that, Constance, but if you can’t sleep, I just want you to know there is no pressure to fall asleep. I’m gonna be here to the very end for you. I think that helps the people that are relaxed in a deep slumber, in some sense. Alexander says personal story…it’d be cool. Yeah, yeah, I think I’ve got a couple coming up. Let’s see, Stacy would like…this is kind of a more specific episode about Speed Racer, and then the one involving Count Chocula, and then both Stacy and Mars wish for peace throughout the world and in specific places, too, and sending our love to everybody in the Ukraine. Yeah, I haven’t had any visits from any serial people lately, Stacy, but…yeah. I’ll have to check it out at some point.
Then yeah, Speed Racer, again, it’s just hard for me to…not possible for me to take TV show suggest…I mean at some point, if I…if there was…like I was in a position to do so, I’d put it out to everybody. Elizabeth says another season of Otter Things or something similar. Yeah, I’d do that at some point. The first half of 2023, we have something…our new series after Nuns in Space scheduled, and I’m not sure about the back-half of 2023 yet. See…Lenny or Leeny says I’d like a episode featuring…oh, me out of breath with Kool-Aid on my face. That’s kind of a personal story…constantly out of breath, sharing stories. Alexander loves Trending Tuesdays. Those still come out every third episode, Alexander. We just don’t call them Trending Tuesday episodes anymore.
I wish for something like the Robes Fashion Show episode. I think that comes up again as the Cusack family. Yeah, like regular characters, they usually record two or three episodes a year, like Robes Fashion Show and stuff. Not sure if…again, I’m not sure if they’ve recorded anything. I know there’s a spelling bee episode and a Bartlett’s Quotations from Nana episode. I don’t know if the Cusacks are involved in any one of those. They may have been in one of the live shows, but I’m not…again, I’m not that…yeah. Lauren would love to hear a story about Scoots’ kid in the great outdoors. Paul would like the etymology of supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. Yeah, even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious. Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Marie would like to hear…to a library and talk about books. I always read before bed. Yeah, me too. Yeah. Yeah, I don’t know, I’d like to go…I’m trying to get access to some of the couple different archives, but I haven’t heard back from any of those places. Then more Real-Time Recipe episodes. Yeah, I’m…I’ve ran out of recipes, is the problem. I think our writing…we’re not in a position to pay for recipes right now, and we don’t do any non-paid work with this podcast. So, as I develop more recipes, I’ll do more Real-Time Recipe episodes. It’s just a matter of you can’t use…I don’t want to use anybody else’s recipes unless they’re being compensated. Yeah. This is Debbie; says yeah, Cusack twenty-step skincare and the robes one are some people’s favorites, including Debbie’s. Yeah, those are fun.
Raina says maybe a show with Antonio Banderas and Carole King as Guests. More from the Boredom Institute. Yeah, I’m trying to think of the Boredom Institute; I pitched somebody on that, like a sponsor or something or something, or maybe we didn’t…I don’t…can’t remember. The same with…we don’t have any guests on the show. Even the fake guests we have, I get angry e-mails about. So, yeah. Let’s see, Mary says I don’t know if I understood the prompt. Mr. Turtle pool filled with rare Beanie Babies. Something specific is a element that could pop up in a show. It just did. Very random. That’s how it works. I’m new here. Thanks Mary, and thanks to everybody for your wishes, and all your wishes got into a podcast.
I can’t make…I mean, I’m not really at a place to be able to make…we don’t…it’s just hard with the show and maybe you heard it ‘cause the…all the distance planning we do that we can’t take episode submissions. So, this was a fun way to do it, I guess, ‘cause I normally can’t do it with regular episodes, but it’s fun. Yeah, I couldn’t have made it to 1111 without any of you, even if you’re new, this…that way…’cause I knew maybe the podcast would be there waiting for somebody to discover it. Even when it was early on, it was like…you’re kind of as a fan, that’s another thing I tell people, and I wish for you as a fan of stuff to be like well, I want to make something…I’m a fan of this…you don’t really have to do the same thing as what you’re a fan of, but it’s like oh, I want to make this experience for someone else, for it to be waiting to be discovered.
That’s kinda a wish I have for the people out there that are listening now or listening one day, that Sleep With Me is waiting for you to be…waiting for you to discover it. Hopefully you feel seen and welcomed in to a virtual safe place where you could get the rest you need, you could breathe, and your…I can take your mind off of stuff and keep you company so that you could fall asleep. It’s made a lot of my…wishes I never even would have known to have come true, so thank you so much, everybody.
[END OF RECORDING]
(Transcribed by Leah Hervoly)
- Internal Fog
- The Old Spring Waxing
- Kiwi Shaver
- Turtle Wax
- Archie McPhee Toy Store
- Count Chocula
Notable Talking Points:
- Wow, turtles in the 80s were really involved in marketing
- I’m in the baseball player zone now
- Has Nana ever had her own episode?