1082 – Utopia | Sleeping With Doctor Who S3 E11

Notable Language:

• Exist-eggshell-ism
• Golf Leather Larpers
• Drum Brain

Notable Culture:

• The Artist’s Way
• Alonzo Mourning
• Rihanna

Notable Talking Points:

• I’ve been doing morning pages lately
• The TARDIS is the sports car of time travel
• Some good layers on these humans

Episode 1082 – Utopia | Sleeping With Doctor Who S3 E11

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster…this just popped in my head; if he squawks like a duck and he walks like a duck but he has creaky, dulcet tones, he’s probably just a sleep podcaster that squawks and walks and waddles.  But hopefully this podcast will be your auditory swaddle ‘cause it’s time for Sleep With Me, the pod…if you’re confused, you’re in the right place.  It’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  Thanks for making it possible, my patron peeps.

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts me to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’ll do the rest.  What we’re going…what I’m gonna attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whatever’s keeping you up, whether it’s thoughts about the past, the present, or the future, thinking thoughts, feelings, anything emotionally stirred up or coming up for you or physical sensations, noise, changes in your routine, travel, mystery; either solving mystery or for me…again, I’m deal…every third episode I record, I’m dealing with some sort of mystery lately, though I felt like having meditation…I’ve been journaling more or morning pages more.

 

Here’s a book I could write, ‘cause I’ve never finished…as much as I’ve tried or even written fiction based on the artist’s journey or the artist’s way…somebody remind me to write an…oh, morning…the seven stage…is it the seven…?  Mourning the morning pages.  Has anybody…?  Someone must have thought of that well before me.  A letter to Melody Beattie or Melody…dear Melanie…Melody; sorry.  My brain does…I’m writing you this letter with my displeasure because isn’t that the first stage?  With the morning pages…oh, morning pages are a activity you do.  Julia Cameron; The Artist’s Way or The Artist’s Journey.  I can never remember.  Sorry, Julia.  What am I talk…?  You say, I thought I turned…tuned in for a sleep podcast, and this guy…I’m pretty sure somebody…this is a whole…how Sleep With Me hopefully will work for you one day if you’re new.

 

You’ll be at a breakfast or the beginning of your work day or whatever.  They say wow, you really got a snap in your step, Z.  You say, I do, I do.  What happened?  I don’t know.  I listen to this strange man every night ramble on and on and on about something that’s also nothing.  Are you sure it wasn’t your breakfast?  No, no, I think it’s this podcast.  Well, what did he talk about?  You know, I have no idea.  I think he was talking about morning newspapers or mourning the morning news.  But I don’t…I don’t know if…but there’s a show called The Morning Show, so maybe he was talking about a spin-off called The Morning Show.  Then he started talking about Alonzo Mourning and then he said good morning, Alonzo Mourning.  He said maybe that could be…maybe Alonzo Mourning could do a segment.

 

But I don’t know if I heard any of that or I just imagined it or I dreamed it, but oh boy, did I sleep good.  Doesn’t make any sense.  You gotta try it.  So, I hope that’s the outcome for you one day.  Now, if you’re new…oh, what am I gonna do?  I’m here to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company so you could fall asleep.  The way I do it is I send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents, which means I’m gonna get mixed up, I’m gonna go off-topic, and go back and forth and all that kinda stuff to keep you company so that you could fall asleep.  The way the show works or if you’re new, let me give you some info because most people when they get to this podcast, it’s…you’ve tried a lot of stuff, right?

 

You have trouble getting to sleep or staying asleep or waking up, and maybe you’ve tried other audio, maybe you’ve tried other solutions, tried a lot of other stuff; that’s me.  What I found is some stuff would work once or twice, and then other stuff would not work at all.  I had strong feelings all about that stuff ‘cause I just wanted to get to sleep.  I just wanted to fall asleep, but I also found my relationship with the deep, dark night and bedtime…I wouldn’t look forward to bedtime.  Sometimes I would be in A-G-O-N-Y at different points, either before go…thinking about going to bed or in bed or…I still am, when I’ve been waking up early, this stretch of two plus years on and off.  So, whatever it is, I know it’s tough.  That’s one of the reasons I make the show, is ‘cause I know how it feels.

 

But more important than that is that you do deserve a good night’s sleep whether this is your first time here or your thousandth time here.  It would be my honor to be able to help you, not only ‘cause I know how painful it is, but because it is important.  As much as people might want to dismiss the fact…oh, try this out or whatever, try skipping to the lieu.  I say I tried that, actually.  I’ve tried that in the middle of the night and during the day, and sometimes sprint to the loo is usually my move.  But I skip to the lieu.  Doesn’t help me sleep, though.  It does change…it does…actually, it does work; it takes my frowny face and makes it slightly less frowny.  But whatever…what was my point?  Oh, you deserve a good night’s sleep, but also, your sleep is important and you deserve a place of respite.

 

If I could be a part of that or inspire you to…hey, let’s get a better bedtime routine going or let me just listen to this podcast as I wind down.  If the show can help you, that means your life is more manageable.  When I’m getting the rest I need, I’m in a better place, right?  I’m more available to be of use in my life and maybe one day I’ll flourish, and I hope your flourish too because even if your life’s more manageable, our world is a better place, but if you’re in a position where you’re growing and flourishing and doing well, our world’s a better place.  So, that’s what’s important about the show.  It really is you, and I’m so glad you’re here, whether you found your way here or thank you so much for being a regular listener.  You are important.

 

So, that’s why I make the show; I know how it feels and you’re important, and your bedtime’s important or your rest is important.  The other things you need to know if you’re new…this does not work for everybody.  This is not everyone’s cup of tea.  You’re talking about a man who mourns the morning pages and skips to the lieu.  He’s trying to start another show called The Morning Show with…but not sure where he’d…would put Alonzo Mourning in it because it doesn’t make sense if it’s a show about…I mean, I guess he could…Alonzo Mourning on Mourning.  We could send him back to school and…but so, whatever it is…what am I talking about?  Oh, so the show’s very different.

 

I was trying to get that…trying to get off this tangent, this morning tangent about the morning…because I got talking about…’cause the bedtime routine and morning pages and my morning routine.  But so, this show is very different.  My humor, my style, the structure, everything is strange, and especially when you first get here, it could be frustrating.  The show defies expectations, not like a high-flying act.  You say well, it defies expectations, not always in a good way, but in a way that puts me to sleep.  But it takes two or three tries to get used to that fact, so please give it a couple tries.  I don’t benefit from that.  This show really only benefits from engaged listeners that are taking action.  So when you first hear it, it’s just…see how it goes and see if it works for you.  I hope it does, but give it a few tries.

 

If the show definitely doesn’t work for you or you definitely don’t like it, there’s sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, and that’s where you could find other sleepy stuff, other sleep podcasts.  What else do you need to know if you’re new?  Structure of the show is very different, and the show is designed in a very intentional way with some specific goals, but then as you become a regular listener, you can kind of adjust how you listen to the podcast.  So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.  This is a Doctor Who episode, so Trees and Multi-forms.  Maybe I said that or maybe I said something else funny or barely witty.

 

That way, I hope you feel seen and welcomed and you get the nature of the show, or if you’re a regular listener, you feel the familiar sense that you’re in the place you want to be in, that you’re among friends, that you’re welcome…welcome home kinda thing.  Welcome to the weird…where being weird’s good, right?  I mean, and…yeah.  That’s what I’m here for, really, to offer you.  But it’s calm…it’s not weird here.  I’m just different.  So, you say well, I mean, that is a strange color on the walls.  It’s imaginary.  I say yeah, that’s imaginary eggshell.  Eggsishellism.  Okay, Scoots.  Great job.  Glad I slept through the podcast last night.  Pat me…oh yeah, good job trying that.  Actually, Scoots, that’s wallpaper.  Okay.  Is it existentially…?  I don’t know.  There’s no existentialism at bedtime.

 

That’s one of my attempted rules around the podcast I haven’t followed.  I gotta look up the meaning of it, so…so, okay, so…structure of the show is very different, the style of the show…the show does not…is not here to be listened to, really.  It’s just here to kinda be listened to.  Now, you can listen, but you don’t have to listen.  So if you feel some pressure or you’re waiting for it to start or go somewhere, maybe turn your listening down a little bit and just kinda see where…what develops ‘cause it’s kind of more…some people use the show as background noise, some people use it as a light distraction, some people are listening.  If you can’t sleep, I’m here to the very end to keep you company, but that’s why I’m here, is to take your mind off of stuff so you don’t have to listen to me, either.

 

It also doesn’t put you to sleep; I just…here to take your mind off of stuff and distract you, so you can think about whatever I’m saying and lightly picture that instead of what’s…ever is keeping you awake.  That’s why I make…okay, so that, that, that…oh, structure of the show.  Okay, let’s go over the structure of the show.  Oh, I was…sorry, I was in the…I real…I just realized I was in the middle of going through the structure of the show and I went off-topic, so it did start off with that greeting, then I got distracted.  So, after the greeting is support for the show so the podcast can come out twice a week for free on any podcast app that has access to podcasts.  It does take a lot of work to put out the show, as strange and simple as it sounds, but I want it to be free for everybody that wants to listen.

 

So, the sponsors and the listeners who support the show enable that.  Then there’s support for listeners and then there’s support for communities around the show, again, ‘cause this podcast is about us being connected in the deep, dark night.  Then there’s an intro, which goes on and on and on too, and that’s a show within a show.  But sometimes people…if you already dislike the show or you’re…understandably, at bedtime having trouble falling asleep, you might have some frowny-face feelings.  I have them all the time.  That’s why I wish I skipped to the lieu more often.  But if you have frowny-face feelings, you…that might be like oh, this sponsor stuff…and then that gets transferred to the intro and people say oh, it’s just twenty or thirty minutes of him selling stuff, which is just not true.

 

The intro is actually…serves a really important purpose.  It is a show within a show to ease you into bedtime because for me, having a bedtime routine, right, where ideally…now, none of this happens…this is ideals; I stretch or foam roll, meditate, journal or gratitude…write down some stuff I’m grateful for, check in with my higher power and read some stuff, and then slowly unwind.  If I’m doing that bedtime routine, I stand a pretty good chance of falling asleep without a problem.  Not all the time, but that has worked for me over the years, and the intro ideally serves as a part or a complement to your bedtime routine.  So, you could start it while you’re getting ready for bed or doing some other activity or you’re in bed slowly winding down.  The intro eases you into bedtime.

 

It welcomes the new listener and gives them an idea of what to expect, but it’s different every single time because my brain adjusts to anything.  I can’t have something that’s same…it’s gotta change for me, otherwise my brain adjusts and says wait a second.  So, the intro is here to ease you into bedtime, then there’s sponsors, again, between the intro and the story, again, so the podcast can come out twice a week for free, or you become a paid member and you can listen ad-free.  That way the podcast is available to anyone who wants it, over 450 free episodes.  Then after the sponsor stuff is a story.  Tonight it’ll be a recap of a episode of Doctor Who.  Very meandering, very oblique, complimenting the Doctor, talking David Tennant.  Whatever it is.

 

So if you watch the show and you’re a superfan, you’d probably be like oh yeah, Scoots is mis-remembering the episode a little bit.  If you’ve never seen it, don’t worry; it’ll be a recap that you say at breakfast…I don’t know, maybe there was something about Doctor Who reading a newspaper.  I guess that’s what he was talking about.  I’d say yeah, I’ve seen newspapers on episodes of Doctor Who.  So, that’s the episode, then there’s some thank-yous at the end.  So, that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show, and I’m really glad you’re here.  I really hope, I really work hard, I yearn and I strive, I really hope I can help you fall asleep.  Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple of ways I’m able to do it for you for free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, we’re talking Season 3, Episode 11, Utopia.  This is a episode I really enjoyed.  It was…definitely had multiple unexpected twists, the return of a character that’s really fun, and…yeah, I don’t know.  So, let’s see, I’ll go through my notes and I’ll start playing it.  It opens with sky and a mirror-like skyscraper reflecting the sky.  TARDIS sound effects…the TARDIS comes in and you see they’re in Cardiff, if you watch, ‘cause that’s the Cardiff Performing Arts Center, I think, or the Cardiff Art Museum.  They’re talking about Cardiff’s Rift…pit stop.  Twenty…I don’t know what this says.  Zo Scariff?  Twenty…surface…left…rift open.  Running man…good-looking with a backpack.  Excellerict…derelict?  Something…different.  Man…back then…does…does the Doctor see him?  Him or not?

 

Big smile…Jack jumps forward, short-circuits the TARDIS.  One billion, two bill…five billion, fifty trillion, one hundred trillion years into the future.  End of the universe.  Oh, Jack is yelling ‘Doctor’ the whole time.  That’s what that says.  It doesn’t say derelictic.  I think it says Doctor, Doctor.  Then again, he’s…Jack is a character from The Doctor Dances, maybe?  I think he was in a two-parter at the end of Season 2?  I don’t know.  It’s been a while.  But I thought he was in The Doctor Dances, and he’s a very fun character.  I think maybe he was on a spin-off show.  I don’t know.  But Jack’s on the outside of the TARDIS.  He’s yelling ‘Doctor’.  Episode opens…I missed two pages of my notebook.  I skipped…so, I put…I didn’t…well, I wrote on one side so I didn’t waste the paper, but…interesting.

 

Wild…oh, so then there’s…they…then the episode opens.  It’s a Russell T Davies…oh, but before that, we see some wild people.  At first I thought they were playing…kinda LARPing the movies Beyond Thunderdome, Maximilian That’s Mad: Road Warrior.  They’re saying humans, humans, humans are coming.  Then we see Russell T Davies, then we meet a human character who’s lost.  He just wants to go home?  Yeah, we see kind goth leather LARPers and they’re LARPing Road Warriors or something like it.  But they’ve LARPed for so long…obviously this is trillions of years in the future, so they’re…imagine a world, an entire society, built on LARPing.  You would lose your way because you say…I guess it’s not that different, you…but they lost their way.

 

At some point, the LARPing, it was no longer role…it was roleplaying.  I don’t know, LARPing as a way of life.  So, that’s different, too.  Where are we?  Human…Road Warriors…sonar…another human, Chan armor.  Lost soul; don’t give up.  Coffee…some internal milk.  That’s not a misprint, either.  Professor Yana…no rush; WFT.  Isn’t it supposed to be WTF?  So, I don’t know what that is.  Fine…her eyes wide.  Has to love for him?  Co for him?  Pisafer drifts…professor drifts off.  Pisafer…Pisafer drifts off, drums in brain.  Chan; professor, though?  So, this one character, Chantho, she says Chan at the beginning of sentences and tho at the end, or statements.  Different signal.  Not standard; square.  Something new.  They land.  What’s out there?  Then we have…not son.

 

Time Lord’s got this…not even Time Lords got this far, the Doctor says to Martha.  I should go…leave, go.  Doctor unsure.  Doctor wants to get out of there, basically.  Nope, it is adventure time.  Then we see the Doctor in the adventure.  He puts his duster on…on CMFLL…but we see Jack’s out there.  I have no idea what these…handwriting is.  Jack…hey again.  Sorry.  WW2…court case…court care…through vare…fond of me.  Friend of mine.  Jack wakes up.  So, Martha sees this guy.  He says…she says who’s this guy?  Looks like he’s from WW2, with his coat.  She’s helping…he’s sleeping, so she’s trying to wake him up.  Doctor says he’s a friend of mine.  Jack wakes up.  Captain Jack Harkness.  Hello.  Don’t start, ‘cause Jack’s a smooth operator.  Doctor, Captain.  Good to see you.

 

Regeneration…’cause he saw the Doctor…he saw the Christopher…he was…so, he’s from Season 1, I guess, Christopher Eccleston…Doctor.  But I thought Rose…has Martha been the companion for two seasons?  I don’t know.  So, that’s confusing to me, too.  But I guess…I mean, everything’s confusing me.  I thought…I don’t know.  Oh, ‘cause maybe…okay, so he wasn’t there when Rose transcended, I guess, maybe.  I don’t know.  Good to see you.  Regeneration…how long do you know?  Martha’s face…okay, so this is important dialogue, so we’ll roll it now.  Rolling the tape here right now; it’s at the end of the episode, but…subtitles are on.  It’s starting.  Martha’s face on the thing…right now the…oh, even the TARDIS was…’cause it was reflecting the sun.  Cardiff…built on a rift in time and space, like California.

 

Energy…we can soak up some of that energy, that sweet, sweet energy, use it as fuel.  Pit stop, she says?  Yeah, twenty seconds.  Rift’s been active, though.  Then we see this guy running.  He’s running full-bore.  Reminds me of my favorite part of that one Mission Impossible movie where everybody in the theatre was cheering, is…what was his name?  Marty McFly?  No; Ethan was running.  One of my favorite movie memories in the last ten years.  When he was running in that whole movie, the whole theatre was cheering and laughing with joy.  I talked about it on the podcast before.  So, he’s got a backpack, he’s running.  Doctor’s trying to leave.  I still wasn’t confused if the Doctor was playing games or not.  Then…yeah, so, they go the short-circuit, big hops.  Rose…except math.  Good on Rose.  Jack v. Doctor.

 

Over a hundred years.  Back in time rift.  Doctor…talking Doctor using humans.  You’re too busy blogging.  City versus collaboration long ago.  Time long…time; all gone.  Night, no stars.  There must be a shell.  So, all the stars are gone.  Right now the LARPers are waking up on the live stream here.  We have to hop life will find a way.  Dude on the run versus the LARPers.  Jack forwards…keep going.  Ship…nope…to the silo.  So, let’s see, Utopia, Russell T Davies…run, run music…spotlight.  Check your teeth to make sure they’re brushed.  Silo 15; human in…stop please.  They can’t let the LARPers in ‘cause the LARPers have lost…they only want to play.  They can’t focus on anything else.  Humans, let’s have a feast together.  Kind…see you hungry.  Professor, we got a doctor here.  What kind of doctor?

 

A doctor of everything.  Watching the LARPers; they’re chanting.  A Scottish chant, though.  Professor runs as Doctor asks for his box, his TARDIS.  Moving on the surface…this is the Doctor and chant, though.  Hopefully the person gets to hear, but we can’t spare any guards right now.  Looks like the Doctor’s got a water heater and a comfy chair.  He must live in his office.  Here’s to Utopia.  I’ll have my internal milk, Chantho says.  Coffee’s not good, he complains.  Creek…oh, we meet a character named Creek.  He’s gonna help the guy find his family.  Big blue box, tall, wooden…sea…somebody.  I can know…old angle to word this way up.  Shafe Canes, anyone?  Looking for the Shafe Cane family.  Lots of people…humans.  Some beso soap?  I don’t know what that is, either.  Chan; no problem.

 

Oh, they’re call…hey, when’s the rocket gonna be ready?  We’ve only been waiting forty years.  We’re working on harmonizing it.  There’s even a plant inside a dome in the background.  Doctor’s hearing the drums, there’s lots of tubes, Doctor’s spacing out…totally.  Chan says yo, what’s up, Doc?  You alright?  He says sorry, sorry, slipped my mind.  Surface scanner, professor…detecting a different signal.  This is a square one.  Indomitable, they say, about humans.  That’s good.  Hotra…not all bad.  Nears…Jack works to room.  Half a deadlock.  That’s a rocket.  Not a rocket; science, but it’s hot.  So, what’s out there?  The Doctor says I don’t know.  So, they’re a hundred trillion years in the future.  That’s rare; not even Time Lords have come.  This is in the play-through.  We should leave…Doctor says we should go.

 

Really, we should go.  He’s talking to himself just as much as Martha.  They both have a pause for a beat, then he smiles.  They both smile.  They say no, no, no, we’re adventurers.  I mean, they don’t say that.  They’re in what looks like a quarry and they come out, jackets on.  They see where…Jack, his backpack.  I don’t know if we see Jack’s backpack again.  Go get…I might go get my kit, Martha says.  The Doctor recognizes him; oh, hello again.  Sorry.  I don’t know if there’s jealousy with the Doctor, but some of the truth about the Doctor’s imperfections come out, you know?  He was on the outside of the TARDIS through the vortex.  That’s very him.  You know him?  Yeah, a friend of mine.  Back in the old days, we used to travel together.  Martha says he’s in a deep sleep.  Then he wakes up and hugs Martha, says hello.

 

Captain Jack Harkness.  Doctor says stop.  She says Martha Jones.  He says oh, I was only saying hello.  Martha says I don’t mind, you know.  You’re not saying hello to me like that, so…and Jack is like…he has a strained look when he looks at the Doctor first.  Good to see you.  And you.  Same of you.  Have you had work done?  What about you, Doctor?  The Doctor says oh yeah, I regenerated.  How’d you know it was me?  Police box?  TARDIS?  Been following you ‘cause you left me behind, by the way.  Doctor’s like, I’m busy; I had to move on.  Martha watches this.  Jack says what happened at Canary Wharf with Rose?  Rose is good.  Now, more things for Martha, her and Mickey and her mom in a parallel world, safe and sound.  Jack’s happy.  Big smile, big hug.  Martha…good old Rose.

 

Then we have the LARPers and the one human.  They’re playing Chase Me, Road Warrior, but the human doesn’t even want to play.  Then Jack’s talking about how the Doctor left him behind.  Used to be a Time Agent and have a vortex manipulator.  He’s not the only one that can time travel.  The Doctor says that’s not time travel.  I’ve got a sports car.  That’s nothing but a hopper.  Martha says oh boy, competition, huh?  Jack says I waited him out, but I had to wait…I had to live for a hundred…over a hundred years ‘cause I…my watch short-circuited…for the entire 21st century, waiting for the Doctor to coincide with me.  Looking good, don’t you think?  Went into the time rift, based myself there ‘cause I knew you’d come back to refuel until finally I got a signal, and here we are.  She goes, how’d you leave him behind?

 

Doctor says, I’m busy.  Very cold.  Martha says, you just get bored of us and disappear?  But not if you’re blonde.  Oh, blonde.  The Doctor gets irritable.  Edge of the universe, blah, blah, blah.  I would say excuse me, that’s not a proper way to speak to me, Doctor.  But he probably…I…that’s why I wouldn’t be a good com…I’m not…yeah.  Then they see what’s the remains of the city of the planet.  Is it a city?  Could be a conglomeration, but long ago.  Pathways or roads…let’s see what else we got.  Jack works…half deadlock…what does Utopia mean?  Good times five, professor.  Teeth lady…oh, so there’s a LARPer onboard.  I don’t…do not protest, though, when Jack hits on Chantho.  Chan [inaudible].  No something…no stable feeling helping harmonize.  Any ideas?  Not active.  Doctor, Doctor, oh…and Roger; hello.

 

What spice are you?  Time Lord; last of them.  What species, I guess.  Humbling…Chantho…last of her species, too.  Sorry.  Doctor impresses…future kind…myth itself.  Unless we need Utopia…every human knows hermits.  That’s a double thing, so I gotta remember that.  Utopia finger?  Call across the universe.  Come to Utopia…wild lands.  Now everybody’s running from the LARPers on the screen.  Dark matter regions…we can’t know.  Is it a haven?  Some science foundation beyond the collapse of reality, to…you know, last.  Doctor is impressed, oh yes.  Professor gets drum brain.  Awkward.  You alright?  Right now they’re surrounded by the LARPers.  Quite right.  To Chan; quite right, too.  Chan; worth, though.  Now they’re running from the LARPers.

 

Let’s keep going in my notes here, though.  Lots of prop travels and LARPers watching…boarding…immediate boarding.  Martha and Creek, or Creet.  There’s just me.  Sky’s made of diamonds, like Diamonds in the Sky, is one of my Rihanna songs.  You and I, Creet and I.  I’d prefer to be with Martha and I and the diamonds in the sky.  We see the LARPer back inside.  Golden instinct is birch…talking and plugging stuff in.  I don’t know what that is.  Staying behind with Chantho.  Blue box…Doctor, find a way out.  Drum face professor…the drums talk to the professor.  Martha and Chantho talk about relatability of being in love, one way…like, being in love with somebody that doesn’t love you back.  A box, relatable.  Reheats…Atillo…send a man inside.  Keep levels down in there.  Keep dials below the red.  Red room.

 

Working…but the larper breaks stuff with an anvil!!!!  Quadruple exclamation point.  Last Chantho…override the vents.  Jack jump-start…Jade out.  No…poof.  Doctor; hands in pockets.  Mouth to mouth.  Jack got…someone kissing me?  Doctor and Jack.  Now we’re back with the professor and Chantho.  A scientist; oh my word.  Doctor of everything; that’s the scientist.  Chantho; I don’t know.  He’s coming.  I’m coming.  Doctor runs out of his office.  Well, the Doctor’s trying to explain…or professor runs out of his office.  The Doctor’s trying to explain what it is.  Beltone Shafe Cane.  Creet’s gonna help the gentlemen find the Shafe Canes.  They’re gonna look for the Doctor’s box when they go to get water, and we’ll see what we can do.  Thank you.  Then we have Jack, the Doctor, and Martha looking around.

 

Hey Creet, how old are you?  Old enough to work.  Follow me.  Then we see, yeah, human beings or like human beings getting ready to try to get on this rocket to get to Utopia, waiting, and kinda the theme of Doctor Who.  We love humans because they’re so adaptable.  People have on caps and sweaters, layers.  Good layers.  Doing the best they can with limited resources.  Not a lot of smiling, obviously.  The Doctor’s impressed.  Once again, humans made it.  Maybe you could become clouds of gas or downloads, but you always revert to the same basic shape; fundamental human.  Then we find the Shafe Canes.  End of the universe, and here you are, indomitable.  Indomitable.  So, that’s cute.  Reunions…Padra, the Shafe Canes.  Not all bad news.  Martha takes joy at reconnection and family love.

 

Jack’s saying hello to everybody.  Martha’s impressed.  Then they go, they see the rocket, and…yeah, then they see…okay, where they talk about how big the rocket is or how you think it’s powered.  Thought they were going to Utopia.  Perfect place, same old dream.  A hundred trillion years.  But yeah, it’s not regular rocket science.  But then back…fast-forwarding though, Jack says is somebody kissing me?  Then Jack goes into the hot room, camera goes out.  What sort of something is her?  Travels in time, professor.  Trips…agent…trips out to the drums again.  Professor meets up with Doctor.  Good, good, good.  It’s good, apparently, good.  We see one of the LARPers.  Some sort of voice.  Jack and the Doctor talk about Jack’s life.  Chan welcome, though.  Doctor looks at the footprint and peller system that the professor’s built.

 

Chan…Chantho though can’t harmonize it.  Doctor puts on his glasses.  Jack says hi to Chantho.  Chan I do not protest tho.  Later, blue.  Jack wants to help, too.  They’re trying to figure out the rocket.  In the future, the Doctor tells Jack he’s a fixed point in time, a fact not meant to happen.  Something on you.  Three Daleks.  There’s a big ball…big bell with Professor Rose.  Heart of the TARDIS.  She became a god, or could have.  I bring life, so put Jack back to human time…kind of.  Doctor…the professor asked the Doctor if he can fix stuff.  He goes, I never seen this before.  Then Martha finds Jack’s Doctor detector.  They talk about Doctor’s regeneration.  Power out…let’s see.  I bring life…final act of the time war is life.  Took power out.  She’s stuck in that parallel world.  Sorry.  They want bard…one of time.

 

Jack, you want to go to the big farm?  I don’t know.  Then smiles, fantastic smiles.  Kinda cheeky, this new version of you.  Oh, this is where he says what species are you?  Time Lord; last of them.  Heard of them?  No one’s heard of them anymore.  Legend’s gone.  Blimey, Doctor says.  That’s humbling.  Chantho says yeah, I’m the last of my species tho.  Time travel back…in the old days, I never believed in it.  The professor says later.  City outside…that was yours, ‘cause that was her conglomeration, her planet.  But soon we learn that the professor…Martha learns the professor also has a watch like the Doctor’s from earlier this season, a chameleon watch.  Can I have a look at it?  So, Martha’s not comfortable with his regeneration.  That’s the first she’s learned of it.  She shakes the Doctor’s hand.

 

Still full of surprises.  Chantho says you’re most unusual.  Jack asks about the people outside, the LARPers.  He goes yeah, they’re stuck in some sort of LARPing loop, but we could become them.  If we meet up with them, they make us join it, we’ll lose our way of LARPing forever.  Then we see a watch flip-over reveal.  Takes Martha’s breath away.  She backs out of the room.  Jack gets the things fixed.  Oh, this is a funny line here.  Okay, Utopia…what’s that?  Every human knows Utopia.  Where you been?  Doctor’s…I’m a bit of a hermit.  He goes, you got friends with you, though.  Hermits United.  It’s a club; we meet up every ten years, swap stories.  It’s fun…for humans.  So, Utopia…and professor shows him the kinda signals…Science Foundation stuff.  Gravitational field navigation…come to Utopia.

 

It’s a point out there in the condensed wilderness…wild lands beyond the Dark Matter Reefs, calling us in.  Last of the humans, scattered across the night.  What do you think is out there?  No idea.  Maybe some sort of haven, hopefully.  Science foundation created the Utopia Project.  We kinda covered that.  Preserve things even after the end of the universe.  Oh, so meanwhile in the future, the rocket’s gonna get ready to launch.  Two minutes.  199, 98…both pash, push, gravity pulse…Martha tries to tell the Doctor about the watch, the connection…chameleon thing.  Remote something.  So, you can fly without the stars to guide you.  Professor gets drum brain, serious drum brain.  No one…he’s…I’m sorry, I drifted off.  There’s work to do.  Maybe the professor’s another Time Lord is the theory, ‘cause he has the watch.

 

Professor goes, I gotta get this rock…things going, but the Doctor says this isn’t gonna fly, huh?  It’s not working.  So, you’re promising these people something…he goes, we’ll find a way.  The Doctor says no, you’re stuck.  You haven’t told them they’re stuck.  It’s a lot out there…they still think they’re gonna fly.  Professor sits down.  Well, better to live in hope.  The Doctor says quite right, I said.  I must say, Professor Yana, this is science well beyond me.  But a boost in reversal circuit must reverse…must be a circuit that reverses the boost in any timeline, so I wonder what would happen if I reversed it.  All of a sudden, things start going good.  So, they have another step towards the solution.  How’d you do that?  Oh, I forgot to tell you; while you…while we’ve been chatting, I’m brilliant.

 

So, things are looking good with the rocket, so it’s time to board.  Passengers start boarding.  In the future, the Doctor does not buy this watch thing.  It gets made…deception…gilder thing.  Professor fingers his watch.  Lots of voices, old radio show voices.  Take son…neat…ten, nine…Face of Boe.  Well, right now there’s a montage of everybody getting ready.  Last truck’s coming in.  Face of Boe, rocket…watch open…magic.  Doctor’s eyes…you are…Face of Boe says you’re not alone, just like Bowie sings in one of his songs; you’re not alone.  YANA.  You are not alone; YANA.  Doctor, YANA.  The rocket goes up.  Professor turns…slow turn, big music.  Doctor calls ship.  Good luck.  So, the ship makes it out to the atmosphere or something.  There’s more running.

 

Professor locks them in with the LARPers…let’s the LARPers in, lowers the defenses.  LARPers rush in.  I must stop you.  Yes…on the run from LARPers.  The Doctor’s very mad about the watch.  Sorry Channon, though.  Oh no; the professor’s also mad about his watch and Chantho.  Not my name.  Professor was an invention.  I forgot.  Who am I?  I am the boss.  Martha said goodbye to Creet.  Go get on the ship.  Her and Chan are making quick friends.  We see the LARPers’ gonna break stuff.  LARPers in.  This way…professor grabs Doctor’s hand.  That’s not right.  Get the door open.  Professor grabs a disc.  Makers form a Utopia?  Then they…looking at the ship, he goes, you made this?  There’s gluten in this computer?  You’re a genius, Yana.  He says well, you are, too.  He goes, that’s easy for me, but you’re stellar.  Magnificent.

 

I don’t normally say that, either.  So, they’re working, plugging stuff in, and the professor says there’s no such thing as a school, so it’s just a title, really.  There hasn’t been a school in a thousand years.  Go from one refuge ship to another, sending people to Utopia.  He goes, if you were…the Doctor says if you were born in a different time, you’d be appreciated.  Then he goes well, this is the time we have.  Some admiration would have been nice, Yana says, but the Doctor says well, you got it now.  I love that engine, man.  Brilliant.  He goes, but you can’t activate it.  You gotta stay behind, huh?  The professor says yeah, with Chantho.  She’s my friend.  You could give her…behind…I’m a little too old for Utopia.  Tell the Doctor we found his box.  That gives pro…the Doctor one more idea.  There’s even other jars.

 

A lot of good stuff on the set to just give you a lot to look at, even model rockets.  Another drum face from the professor.  He’s got grey eyes, I think.  So, the TARDIS awakens more drums in him.  But the Doctor’s gonna use extra power from the TARDIS to help boost the ship up.  Luckily, they have…he’s got the right dongles.  Now we have Martha and Chantho.  Professor’s got drum brain.  I’m fine; just get to work, he says.  Alright, let’s get some of these circuits plugged in.  Jack says let’s go, let’s go, come on.  Doctor just thinks he’s tired, so he says it’s just a headache.  Noise in my head, Doctor, drum noise.  Drum noise?  You’d say, what the heck?  Did you go to too many concerts?  He goes, I don’t know.  All my life, I’ve had drums in my brain, every hour.  No rest for the wicked, eh?

 

Doctor…I don’t know, he thinks that’s funny for some reason.  Seventeen years they’ve been working together.  A long time.  I adore him, Chan says, the professor.  Martha says right, and he doesn’t…don’t think he even notices.  Tell me about it.  Happy to serve.  Do you mind if I ask why you start every sentence with Chan and end it with tho?  Yeah, it’s just our way we speak.  Could you not do it?  What would happen?  It’d be breaking the rule.  It’d be rude, not breaking a rule.  Martha says just do it anyway; like swearing?  So, it’s a little levity.  Chan indeed tho.  Just do it once.  Can’t tho.  Do it for me, Martha says.  She says no, and then they giggle and laugh.  So, nice little moment.  Systems are down.  We see Yana, Y-A-N-A come in.  That’s his camera.  Alright, we’re ready.

 

We just gotta connect the couplings in the red room.  But everything’s coming in and out.  Press the Reboot key every time the picture goes down.  Okay, just keep rebooting.  Martha says it’s fine as long as I don’t have to do shorthand.  Okay, they say go inside and work on the tube stuff, and let’s get it moving, eh?  They say check, check, one, two.  So, they get to work there.  Atillo; he’s inside.  Keep the dials down…underneath the rocket.  That’s when everything gets short-circuited by a anvil.  Alarm goes off.  First she tries to break the stuff, the LARPer, but I love how it’s an anvil.  At least I think it is.  Say holy cartoons.  Lost control…that guy evaporates.  Override the vents.  He’s still working on it, though.  Another human…heroic human trying to save everybody else.

 

Jayte…meanwhile, that LARPer gets asked to leave the premises.  Jack tries to do something else, so we see again his ability to rest and recover.  He’s very good at rest and recovery.  We’re gonna need him because the Doctor makes that connection.  He says Jack’s so good at rest and recovery.  He can do more than more people.  This is when Martha gives him a little kissy-poo.  Jack says hello, did somebody just kiss me?  Martha goes no, I kissed your forehead to try to wake you up.  First, the Doctor loses hope ‘cause the red room and everything…that’s flooded, so they say somebody’s gotta go in there that can rest and recover.  Doctor says don’t worry; I got the right person for the situation and he’s right here, Jack Harkness.  Got the man.  Jack…then they run, Doctor and Jack.  The full-arm running.

 

Okay, let’s get this thing moving.  Jack takes his jacket and his shirt off, but he has a undershirt.  Doctor says why are you doing that?  He goes, I like to be comfortable and look good.  He’s got…what are those things called?  Suspenders.  How long have you known that…?  Doctor says, ever since I ran away from you.  Rose gave you a fixed point in time and space.  Oh, they explain it slowly while Jack’s working.  So, Jack starts working.  Doctor’s watching from the outside.  Buttons are getting punched, lost the picture.  Another flare up.  Doctor, can you read me?  I wonder where Martha gets her clothes, like in different places in time and space or just our time?  She’s very fashionable.  The Doctor travels through time and space and picks people up.  Don’t ask me to explain it.  That’s the TARDIS.

 

Sports car of time travel, he says.  So, the professor walks over to the TARDIS, hears the drums again.  Inside the box, inside the box, it calls to him.  Earth, 1892 is when Jack realized that he’s a fixed point in time and space.  I guess he can move through…I don’t understand it, but it’s…I didn’t know it was Rose that did it.  Went through everything, stray javelins.  Oh, Doctor says.  In the end, I got a message.  Wrong message; Jack’s wrong about it, but that’s why I left you behind.  It’s not even look…easy looking at you, Doctor says, ‘cause you’re wrong.  You are.  I can’t help it.  I’m a Time Lord.  It’s my instincts.  Jack says no, you’re just judging me.  He goes no, you’re a fixed point in time and space, a fact never meant to happen.  Even the TARDIS reacted against you; flew all the way to the end.

 

Jack says okay, well, not much I can do about it.  You’re using it against me; shame on you.  Doctor laughs.  Yeah.  Then they talk about Rose.  Martha’s listening in, though, and the professor.  So, the professor hears they’re talking about the Daleks.  Professor’s getting more drum brain.  They talk about Rose and Jack and the parallel universe, and no one’s meant to have that power.  The professor starts crying.  A Time Lord couldn’t have that power.  It would be trouble.  We see Rose, we see Jack.  Everything she did was so human.  Martha looks down.  She couldn’t control it.  She brought you back forever.  That final act of the Time War was life.  Now, the professor’s talking along ‘cause he’s…he’s totally going spacey.  Flashbacks, flash-forwards everywhere.  Rose is in a parallel world we can never visit.

 

Martha’s like, I gotta…how could I compete with that?  I can’t.  So frustrating.  Sorry.  Jack said yeah, I visited back in the time, but kept it to myself.  Couldn’t interrupt, obviously, with timelines.  I understand that much.  Then they talk about…well, Jack’s gonna be stuck in time forever?  He goes, I thought…I don’t know.  Maybe I have a purpose, I don’t know.  To see people out here surviving, that’s fantastic.  Big smile.  Doctor has this big smile back, too.  Love of humanity.  Maybe I could go out there and meet myself or something.  What’s the only man you’ll ever be happy with, the Doctor says.  Regeneration’s kinda cheeky.  They get everything fixed for this part of the ship, but the professor’s hearing more and more stuff and more and more drums.  Martha sees it.  What’s going on with you?

 

They say time travel back in the old days…I never believed it.  What would I know?  Stupid old man.  Never could keep time.  Always lost.  Professor’s kinda irritated with himself, I guess.  Even this thing never worked.  Martha, this watch is me.  I’m gonna become human.  So, we see his watch, we see the Doctor’s watch.  Martha fig…starts to figure out something’s up.  Time running out on me.  Just an old relic, this watch.  Doesn’t do anything, professor says.  How’d you get it?  I don’t remember.  I was found with it.  What do you mean?  I don’t know.  I was found in the silver something, on the coast as a child, with just this watch.  No clothes; just a watch, a broken watch.  Never opened it?  It’s stuck.  It’s not meant to be opened.  It’s too old.  I don’t know, the professor says.  Martha looks at it, flips it over.

 

It is the same watch as the Doctor had.  Her breath’s taken away.  Professor says uh-oh, something’s up.  Martha says nothing’s up.  Don’t worry.  Doctor closes his eyes.  Listen, everything’s gonna be great.  I was gonna go check with the Doctor, with the professor’s thing.  Okay, rocket’s ready to go, so Martha’s running towards Jack and the Doctor, saying get everybody out…is everybody on board?  Get ready to launch.  Two minutes.  Then they start flipping switches and devices and stuff.  A hundred seconds left; 99, 98.  They’re getting everything ready.  Martha says…Doctor says great, it’s a gravity pulse engine.  Gravity goes down, pushes it up.  Primitive, but it’ll work.  Martha says he’s got a watch, a fob watch, the professor.  Same as yours; same writing, everything.  Doctor’s like, no.  Yeah, he’s had it his whole life.

 

Same watch.  Jack’s like, what do you mean?  What’s…why a watch?  No, it’s like a magic device.  Rewrites biology.  Change a Time Lord into a human.  It’s the same watch.  Can’t be.  Doctor’s breath’s taken away.  He runs, means he could be a Time Lord.  You might not be the last one.  Jack, keep it level.  Brilliant, but it depends.  Brilliant, yeah.  No, there’s no more Time Lords, he says.  But what if he was human and not a Time Lord?  Then the Doctor gets really irritated.  What did he…said…and she goes, he has a perception filter, so he couldn’t see the watch.  Can he see it now?  The Doctor worries, and he does.  Starts hearing about the time vortex.  He’s touching the watch.  Chantho doesn’t like it.  Regeneration…drums, drums, drums, the neverending heartbeat.  Open me, human.  Receive my majesty.

 

They see the Doctor’s regeneration box, or Doctor detector.  Get rid of the Doctor.  Chan says Yana, won’t you please take some rest tho?  The rocket’s getting closer to…ten, nine, eight…countdown.  Meanwhile I was saying you gotta…if they got away from the time…what about the Face of Boe, Martha says?  His last words were ‘you are not alone.’  You are not alone.  YANA.  The Doctor…or the professor opens the watch in front of the TARDIS.  There’s a lot of glowing light and swishing stuff.  He breathes it in.  Doctor senses something’s wrong.  Face of Boe says you’re not alone close up.  Y-A-N-A.  That’s way better than YOLO; Y-A-N-A.  Face of Boe closes their eyes.  Rocket launches…LARPers watch the rocket go up.  Chan says professor, you alright, man?  He says there’s nothing alright about me.

 

He does a slow turn and he’s got a look in his eyes I’m not…a look of…they say lieutenant, what’s up?  Did you get outta there?  Did you reach escape velocity?  Oh yeah, we’ll see you in Utopia.  So, the humans got away, so that part’s good.  Then they go running.  Jack grabs his thing.  They lock them in, though, the professor does, or locks them out of his office.  They’re trying to get the door open.  One door opens, another opens.  One door closes, another opens.  So, he lets in the LARPers and he says those three can join the LARPers.  The professor says that about Doctor…Martha and Jack.  Chantho does not like it.  Doctor starts doing other weird stuff and she goes what are you doing, man?  Chantho says it’s the professor.  LARPers come in.  They’re running.  They’re saying hey, LARP party.

 

Ain’t no party like a LARP party.  They get one door unlocked and Chan says professor, I’m sorry, I have to tell you to stop.  She goes, you’re…we put a lot of work into this.  The professor says Chantho, you know, I’m frustrated with you.  She goes, I’m frustrated…I’m…I was talking about my feelings, professor.  So, it’s time for me to talk about…use my I-statement, not you…for you to use your I-statement, like I’m the one…but the professor’s not good with that stuff, so he’s saying…he gets irritable.  You never really wanted to help me.  You don’t understand me.  She goes, I’m sorry.  You’re not listening.  He goes, I’m kinda fed up with you, Chantho.  I mean, really, he’s just kind of a J to the E to the R to the K.  He goes by the way, my name’s not the professor; it’s the boss.  Professor was an invention.

 

But not like Bruce Springsteen the boss, ‘cause Bruce Springsteen would not appreciate my poor behavior, I think, was…professor.  Yeah, so he says I’m the boss.  Then we see the LARPers chasing down our people, a lot of running.  Professor’s laughing.  He gets out a disc ‘cause he’s gonna…takes the Doctor’s regeneration Doctor detector.  They’re still trying to get into the office, now; Doctor, professor, and Jack, but it’s locked.  Hey professor, don’t do anything wild.  Professor’s…takes the guidance disc, I think, to Utopia, yeah.  So, we know where he’s going.  LARPers…this is a lot of big buildup.  Doctor, you better think of something.  Chantho says one more time; you know what, professor?  This is unacceptable, your behavior.  He’s trying to get on the TARDIS.

 

She unties his shoes, which in this cosmic…but his shoes are made from cosmic strings or something, but he still manages to crawl his way onto the TARDIS, locks the Doctor out with the deadbolt, then turns on the electronic deadbolt so the Doctor cannot get the door open, which I thought that had…maybe because he has the…oh no, he doesn’t have it.  Maybe he does, just in his pocket or something, that we don’t see.  But the professor starts firing up the TARDIS and the Doctor is like, I don’t know what I’m gonna do now.  Jack’s trying to hold the door shut on the LARPers.  The Doctor says there’s only two of us.  If you’re a Time Lord and I’m a Time Lord, let me in.  Oh, he does have the Doctor…so, the Doctor gets mad.  He goes, I can’t believe Chantho untied my cosmic string shoes.

 

But still, if the Doctor can be young and strong, I can use the TARDIS technology for me.  So, he does.  He goes, the boss will rise again to become the young boss, reborn.  Then he just does his thing and he gets all cosmic with cosmic string and starts to transform into a youthful…this is a big thing about…this is going against things.  Doctor’s watching it happen, like the glowing from the outside.  Professor becomes a young boss.  LARPers are running.  Professor wakes up young and happy.  He’s…thinks he’s very funny and witty, fires up the TARDIS.  Doctor tries to short it out.  TARDIS goes out, big, big music.  Doctor’s face, cliffhanger.  Let’s just see one or two things with this guy.  He’s laughing, he’s running around, very youthful and sprite-like.  He goes now then, Doctor…oh, I got a new voice.  Hello, hello, hello.

 

I got a cool voice.  Why don’t we have a nice little chat while I tell you all my plans so you can work out a way to stop me?  Martha goes, I know that voice; that’s the boss.  The Doctor says, just stop.  Just think about it.  He goes, use my name; the boss.  Who’s the boss?  He goes, bye-bye.  Then he’s revving up the TARDIS with all the revving and stuff.  The Doctor tries to short-circuit it which only works for a second, ‘cause the pro…or the boss says no, no, you don’t.  He gets it pumping and he goes, enjoy the end of the universe.  Bye-bye.  Martha says come on, Doctor, stop him.  The LARPers are trying to get in the room.  But then they agree…after the TARDIS, they say let’s take a break.  We’ll all take a nap and reconvene, ‘cause even LARPers have to rest, correct?  So, they all lie down and they take a break and they agree to get together again in about…in a week or two weeks to work it all out and then go find the professor in Utopia.  So, that’s the end of the episode.  Thanks, everybody, and goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcribed by Leah Hervoly)