1072 – Human Nature | Sleeping With Doctor Who S3 E8

Episode 1072 – Human Nature | Sleeping With Doctor Who S3 E8

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who’s so basic, not only may I take your…might I take your picture and frame it, but I don’t even know if I already used that as a teaser.  On top of that, I don’t even know if it’ll come…like, if I recorded it before…I say, did I say that to myself in the car?  ‘Cause I said wait a second, that’s me, except for the dating part; I don’t have any…I say, I take a picture and I frame it and it’s not a movie star or someone…so oh boy, I’m pre…I’m not even that…here’s the thing; I’m not even that basic.  I’m so basic, I ain’t basic, just like all of us.  You could get…it is like one of those scales, I think, a spectrum of basicness.  I’m so far basic, I’m not basic anymore.  Put that on a pillow.  But also, put on a pillow yo, it’s time for you to start a podcast.  It’s time for Sleep With Me.  If you’re confused, this is a podcast to put you to sleep, what?  So, stick around and it’ll get even more confusing.  [PAUSE] When your hand hits the fridge tomorrow, here’s ways we’re able to be here for you for free twice a week.  [PAUSE]  Thank you for making my basicness…yeah, patrons.  Thanks.  [PAUSE]

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  It’s Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you or sends you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’ll do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts you’re thinking about, thoughts on your mind, feelings, feelings related to those thoughts about…or feelings or thoughts about the past, the present, the future, feelings that are just there, changes in your routine or time or temperature.

 

Whatever it is, whatever is keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off of that and keep you company so that you could fall asleep.  The way I propose to do it is to send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, so I’m gonna go off-topic, I’m gonna get mixed up, then I’m gonna go and misspeak, then I’ll go backwards, I’ll say wait a second; what?  Then I’ll say I couldn’t remember…so, that’s what it means; is like, I say what?  Then I say what was I saying?  So, if you’re new, stick around because things will probably get even more confusing.  But I’m…right now, I’m gonna try to give you all the information if you’re new.  I already got mixed up.  I forgot…so, I’m gonna send my…did I say that?

 

I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, and pointless meanders.  I think I did.  I’m sorry.  Here’s…I’ll be perfectly honest with you of what just happened, ‘cause that’s the kinda relationship I’m looking to maintain with those of you that are regular listeners or those of you that are new.  This is how I build trust, is by losing it.  Or, I build the trust so I can lose it.  But then in this case, I may have lost…well, I’ll maintain our trust, right?  So, I can’t stop listening…so, there’s a book called Station Eleven.  It got made into a series called Station Eleven, and a big fan.  I haven’t finished it when I’m recording this.  I still have two more episodes left.

 

But Episode 7…by the way, if you haven’t seen it, it’s not…it’s…I mean, I re…I’m re-reading the book now at bedtime, but it might not be bedtime material for everybody.  But it has…so, Episode 3 is absolutely — in my opinion — a masterpiece.  But well, I only watched it once, but I feel like it is.  Then there’s a lot of other good episodes.  Then Episode 7 I also was…found incredible.  It’s kind of like…takes place during the holidays or Christmas, I think.  Not sure about New Year’s.  But so, there’s this one character named Frank and at some point, Frank starts dropping rhymes.  Well, he’s standing…he stands up to drop the rhymes.  I find it…you know, sometimes when you’re watching stuff that’s not a sleep podcast, the joy comes out even in non-joyous situations.

 

The joy can’t be contained, and sometimes the joy…’cause stuff that grows out between the cracks in concrete, I would say.  It was just this poignant, joyous moment for…or that I related to.  For some reason, in the middle of making a podcast intro, I had shared it and I said that is so poignant to me, I gotta pin it to my profile.  So, that’s what happened there and that’s the kinda stuff that happens at bedtime.  Probably isn’t best for bedtime or during a sleep podcast, but it offered me an opportunity to be clear about my…I don’t know.  I just got a lot out of that moment, so much show…so much so that it distracted me from my job here.  But by admitting that, it gives me a chance to do my job, which that is a pointless meander, kind of a superfluous tangent.

 

I wouldn’t say totally superfluous ‘cause it relates to everything, but I also didn’t want to move forward and act like it didn’t happen, because we just got four or five minutes of lulls out of it.  Also, I want to…if you get a chance to check it out, you might get something out of it.  Or you say, why is…is Scoots talking about that again?  So, okay, so if you’re new though, I’m so glad you’re here.  If you’re a regular listener, I’m so glad you’re here, but…what was my point?  Trees and Multi-forms?  I didn’t say that at the beginning, either.  Okay, so my point is…oh, I’m glad you’re here because the reason I make this show is to help.  The reason I make this show is to help keep you company, take your mind off of stuff in the deep, dark night.

 

But if you’re new, there’s also a lot of confusing stuff, kind of like you’ve just heard, but even more so.  So, I want to kinda give you some basics to help you through the show, starting with the fact that for most regular listeners, it takes two or three tries just to get used to the show ‘cause it’s so different.  So, I’m glad you’re here, but give it a few tries.  That’s what hundreds of thousands of people at least have said to me; at first I didn’t like it or I didn’t understand what was happening, and you were referring to pop culture references that I didn’t…that I found were…I wasn’t sure what you were referring to.  Is that a place you gas up your car, Station Eleven?  I’d say it’s a place I gas up my spirit, man, for real.  But so, okay, so if you’re new, let me slow down even more.

 

So, if you’re new, first thing to know; I’m glad you’re here for two…the most important reasons are I know how it feels in the deep, dark night.  I know how it feels to toss and turn, to wake up early, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, other stuff keeping me awake, anticipation, past, whatever the reverse of anticipation is.  All those words.  How come anticipation’s not…there’s no word for the past memories.  I guess…who sang that?  Was that Barbara that sang it about memories?  The way…I guess that would be the way I’d put it; anticipation or memories to the way we were, though my mind never puts it that way.  How come my mind never talks to me in the voice of Barbara or anybody like that?  I don’t know.

 

I know people are saying Scoots, that is not who sang that song.  I’d say okay, well, that’s who’s singing it in my mind right now, luckily.  Nothing in my mind, though, is crystal water…of whatever she says, like my memory of the lyrics.  So…oh, so, I know how it feels in the deep, dark night.  That’s one of the reasons I want to help.  I know how it really feels right there for me in the center of my chest, going down.  I know how it feels emotionally.  I know how it feels, and a lot of other listeners do.  It’s lonely, it can be frustrating, it can be something you dread going to bed.  So, that’s one of the reasons I’m here to help.  The more important reason is you deserve a good night’s sleep.  You deserve a place you could rest to get comfortable, to get ready for bed and drift off.

 

If I can provide that for you, that’s the greatest honor I could ever have, because one, I know how it feels, but two, if you get the rest you need, your life’s gonna be more manageable, and that means the world we live in will be a better place to be in, right?  So, that’s why it’s so important to me, and that’s the most important thing you’ll hear on this show.  After that, it’s all…it’s not downhill; it’s kinda like barely downhill, so we just barely move ahead.  So, that’s the first thing that I want you to know as a new listener.  The second this is this is a podcast you just barely listen to.  You just kinda go uh-huh, okay.  Mm-hm, yeah.  Yeah, okay.  Alright, yeah, go ahead.  Okay, I gotcha.  You just pretend like you’re listening to me, or you could listen, or you could turn it down to a mumble.  You could just kinda see how it goes.  So, that’s one thing.

 

Then…oh, and then this is a podcast you also…it doesn’t really put you to sleep.  I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep, to take your mind off of stuff, to make the night less lonely.  I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie, your bore-bor, your neigh-bore, your bore-friend, your friend in the deep, dark night to keep you company so you can fall asleep.  Or if you can’t sleep, there’s listeners that can’t sleep, so even if you can’t sleep and you’re feeling it, there’s other people out there that are listening, and I’m here to the very end for you, to keep you company whether you’re awake or asleep.  That’s kinda what ends up working about this show, I think.  So, that’s that.  Don’t list…you don’t need to listen, doesn’t put you to sleep.

 

More good news; the structure’s very strange, too.  You’ve already witnessed it.  Starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then I try to say something witty.  But it ends up being more welcoming and silly, so you say okay, I feel seen, I kinda get the tone of the podcast.  Then there’s support, support for the show so it can come out twice a week for free, hundreds of episodes in the archives, support for listeners that are having a tough time, and then support for the communities around the show.  Then there’s the intro, which we’re about ten, twelve minutes into.  The intro is a important part of the podcast at first, and for a lot of listeners, but not every listener.

 

So at first, the reason the intro’s twelve to twenty minutes long; it’s a show within a show that eases you into bedtime.  So, it’s a transition period.  The intro kinda serves for some people as part of their bedtime routine, their getting-ready-for-bed routine, and I’ve been paying really close attention to this recently, and I need, really, one hour.  I mean, within…that’s how I guess…I’m getting carried away by my all-or-nothing thinking.  But I need something around an hour, but pretty close to an hour to stop doing what I’m doing after I brush my teeth until I want to close my eyes and fall asleep.  But I make that period…that period’s really important to me when I’m practicing it, ‘cause I get to read some Station Eleven or some other fiction.  Really uplifting stuff I read; Never Let Me Go and then Station Eleven.

 

But that’s the kinda stuff I like to read at bedtime.  It doesn’t bother me.  It helps me fall asleep, connecting with those characters, going on a journey.  I do some other work; I do other reading, journaling, meditation, stretching, whatever…that’s what works for me.  It might be something different for you, but having that period, that twilight period…I kinda wanted to make the intro…and it’s just based on a thousand episodes of listener feedback; say okay, this can kinda be a part of that for people.  Or if you just want to get in bed and lie there and kinda listen as you get eased into sleep, that’s great too.  There are listeners that are asleep.  So lovely, our sleeping listeners, along with those sleeping partners some of you have that fall asleep as soon as their head hits the pillow even when you still had something left to discuss and they fell asleep.

 

That’s okay.  That’s why I’m here.  I’m here to be here in lieu of that.  There’s listeners — 2% to 3% — that skip the intro, start the show at twenty minutes or twenty-five minutes.  There’s actually also about 5% of people that stop the…that set a sleep timer for thirty minutes, forty-five minutes, sixty minutes, and then there’s people that listen on Patreon to story-only episodes.  But the majority of listeners, the intro is something familiar, but it’s different every time.  I know it’s the same thing for me; if I’m reading a book that I enjoy…and I don’t necessarily enjoy some of the other parts of my bedtime routine.  They’re more structured activities that I know are good for me, but at least I know at the end I have that to look forward to, right?  So, that’s the same thing with Sleep With Me and the intro.

 

So, the intro goes on and on and on to ease you into bedtime, a landing strip, for example.  So, that’s the intro.  Then there’s support or sponsors between the intro and the show.  That’s, again, just how we’re here for free twice a week.  Then there will be our story.  Tonight will be a recap of a Doctor Who episode.  Now, if you’ve never seen Doctor Who, don’t worry.  I’ll give you all the details.  This is a period piece, so it’ll be good.  If you’re a fan of Doctor Who, it probably won’t…you say, that…was that a Doctor Who episode?  Doesn’t sound like it.  So, don’t worry.  I’m gonna take your mind off of stuff and describe things in a way to carry you off into bedtime.  Then there’s thank-yous at the end.  So, that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show.  I think that’s it.  I’m really glad you’re here.

 

I really hope I can help ‘cause if you’ve come here with skepticism or doubt or someone told you about the show or you heard about it, of course you’re gonna be skeptical or doubtful.  Why wouldn’t you be, right?  You’ve tried a lot of stuff to fall asleep, to help keep you company, and that’s where this show comes in, is to keep you company and take your mind off stuff, right?  That’s what I’m here for, literally.  If it doesn’t work for you, you gave it a few tries or you decided already you know what, you’re not for me; I’m just listening to this point, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou has a bunch of other stuff you could check out there.  So, check it out.  I’m really glad you’re here.  I really appreciate your time, and I really hope I can help you fall asleep.  Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to be here for you free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, Scoots here, and we’re talking about…let me see my notes here, ‘cause I don’t…Season 3, Episode 8, Human Nature.  Let’s see, this one…we’ll see how we’re gonna do it, ‘cause I got a lot of…D with a circle in my notes means check the dialogue.  So, we’ll watch this together at the same time.  Action.  Did they see you?  Doctor’s stressed.  Did they see your face?  Following us.  Dialogue check…never gonna stop.  Unesi, trust me.  All depends on you.  Take this watch.  This work…POV.  What this Unesi is…it looks like U-N…there’s a dot, then it says E-S-I.  Uneasy?  I don’t know.  Let’s find out here.  Okay, BBC…laser comes in.  Martha dives, Doctor dives…they see he was too busy running.  They see her face.  No, they couldn’t have.  Off we go.

 

Doctor pulls a lever, looks up at the TARDIS…heart of the TARDIS.  They’re following us.  You got a time machine.  Vortex manipulator.  They can follow us wherever we go, right across the universe.  They’re never gonna stop.  He gets an idea, looks up…unless…I’ll have to do it.  You trust me, don’t you?  Of course I do.  All depends on you.  What am I supposed to do?  Take this watch.  Martha…then we get the POV; Martha, take this watch.  Doctor wakes up in pajamas, also striped, just like his pinstripe suit.  They’re not pinstripe pajamas, but that’s actually a nice…Pinstripe Pajamas could be a song in a musical somewhere.  I don’t know…I guess it would be the Sleep With Me Musical: Pinstripe Pajamas.  There is one pinstripe on his pajama, but it’s…he has wider stripes, so I don’t think it’s pinstripe.

 

The Doctor’s waking up in what seems to be…now, again, I’m not English, so I’ll need some instructions or some feedback, or I’m not…also not a historian or a history buff or a person that retains very much history.  But the Doctor’s getting up in a bed in seemingly what’s his office, so it’s like his office in his bedroom.  A lot to look at; a couple butterflies, a mirror, paintings.  Could spend a lot of time in this office if we wanted to.  I don’t know, I guess that was the end of the…oh yeah, that’s the Doctor…Doctor in something office.  Bedroom??  Double question mark.  Martha and Mr. Smith talking dreams.  Compromex…compromise…compromex…the watch catches her attention.  Her calm free…1110, 1913?  Completing him…and then it goes to the open, so let’s see.  Doctor’s getting out of bed, rubbing his face.

 

Knock on the door; Martha comes in with tea.  Pardon me, Mr. Smith’s…you’re not dressed.  He’s putting on his robe.  It looks like she has tea and toast, maybe.  Yeah.  Sorry…Doctor’s a little distracted.  Martha makes a face.  She opens the blinds.  Obelisk, I see.  I have these dreams that I’m an adventurer, a daredevil.  The Doctor, I’m called, and you were there, Martha, believe it or not.  I believe it.  Maybe…I’d say Martha could appear in my dreams any time you want as my companion.  She goes, a teacher…me and you?  I’m a man from another world.  That can’t be…thing.  He goes, this watch played a part in it, too.  Martha looks at the watch.  Doctor puts it back down.  She’s thoughtful, then she smiles.  They do remember one thing; all took place in the future, 2007, the year of our Lord.

 

Well, I can prove you wrong; it’s 1913, November 10.  You’re completely human, sir.  That actually is a little foreshadowing.  As human as they come.  That’s me, completely human.  Zoom…oh, so that’s what I couldn’t read.  It looks like com force.  Oh no, completely halm, I put.  Open…flag goes up at a school.  Boy’s choir sings, mid…military walking…sin…bell rings.  Smith teaching class, cleaning floor, dreamy eyes.  Punk students that one day will run the country.  1913; they might not.  Paul Cornell, this episode’s by.  Mr. Smith, pile of books, nurse??  Double question mark.  Division of labor…book any directors…Mallory…awkwardly dance…uh-huh.  No one asked me; hint.  Okay, so we’re running…it’s raining.  Kids are walking in the rain…military march.  Doctor’s dressed as a professor.

 

Talk about cosplay, you know what I’m saying?  He’s very…sees another…the headmaster or some other teacher.  A lot of layers.  I would be too hot; I couldn’t teach at this school unless it was freezing.  They’re talking about Waterloo, so maybe he’s a history teacher.  Napoleon…he has on so many layers.  It better be cold in that school, or I’d say I can’t work here.  It’s too many layers.  Say, what is…what do you have on your ride or whatever?  That I don’t have to wear so many layers.  Walks by Martha…was washing the floor with someone else.  Morning…she says always his head’s in the clouds.  Why are you sweet on him?  Well, he’s nice to me.  I’d say yeah, Martha, why are you sweet on him?  My head’s in the clouds.  She said, this is from a fictional TV show from…and I say oh, okay.  I gotta look up who was in this episode.

 

I don’t know if any…I think one or two of the guest performers was famous, or would become famous.  But these kids, these high schoolers, oh boy, they need to be…they need to learn some manners, I guess would be the nicest way to put it.  Martha says I’d like to dump my bucket on their heads.  But yeah, one day they’re gonna be the ones in charge.  So, Martha says oh, boy.  It’s 1913; maybe not.  Then we go upstairs.  We see Mr. Smith; he drops a book.  Nurse tries to…or he steps on it.  Maybe he doesn’t want her to see it?  Or she wants to help.  He says you hold my books; I’ll pick up the book, which is a strange move.  Then she has her books.  She’s definitely…big smiling.  How’s Jake and Jenkins?  Got a cold.  No, missing his mother, mostly.  But he’s got a letter.  Now I’m holding your books.

 

Oh yeah, sorry about that.  Let me take them.  Why don’t I take…let’s split it up; division of labor.  They’re both very…smiling.  She goes, what are…where are these books going?  He goes oh, this way.  So, they go along.  They’re talking about school, blah, blah, blah…truth be told.  She goes, you can call me Nurse Redfern, ‘cause he was calling her Matron.  She goes, Matron sounds matronly.  She goes, you could even call me Joan if you want.  Joan Redfern; I like that.  He goes, obviously.  She goes, you’re John, right?  John Smith?  She goes, check this out, there’s a poster for the dance.  It’s not formal.  Sounds fun, huh?  You going?  Got a date?  He starts doing a Scoots; he goes blah, blah, blah.  She goes, I haven’t been to a dance in a while just ‘cause nobody asked me.  He goes blah, blah, blah.

 

He goes, I never thought you’d be one for dancing.  Have you seen the Doctor…dances?  ‘Cause I know the Doctor can dance.  Then he goes and takes a little tumble-too, drops his books, drops some papers everywhere.  Then she gives him a little…she helps his…he bumps his head.  Martha comes running in.  Did he fall?  You’re supposed to knock, Martha, before you come in.  Oh, right; okay.  Everything okay with him?  I heard you took a fally-poo.  Just a tumble, that’s all.  She goes, have…we forget Martha’s a Doctor, so she says, is it a concussion?  The matron…Nurse Redfern, Joan, says no, don’t worry about it.  Then the Doctor’s like, I’ve been telling her about the dreams I’ve been having.  Someone else…I’m in hiding.  Hiding?  How are you hiding?  Well, I don’t know.  Every night I have these dreams.

 

It’s gonna sound silly.  I dream a lot of times that…two hearts.  She goes well, I’m a nurse; I could check that.  Two hearts?  Nope.  Only one heart, but you could have two hearts beating as one at tonight’s dance, especially if…I don’t know if this time in England we could dance heart-to-heart, but if we did, then you’d have…you wouldn’t still have two hearts, but…and I don’t know if they would actually beat as one, if that’s just a phrase.  He has a record, a Victrola or whatever that thing’s called.  Says these dreams are like fiction.  Been writing it down.  Don’t know if you want to check it out, like peer into my heart, eh?  She goes oh boy, would I.  Martha’s watching all this.  I’ve never shown it to anybody, not even Martha.  So, there’s a little…A Journal of Impossible Things.  There’s a lot of cool drawings and writing.

 

Doctor’s handwriting is about on pace with mine, maybe a little bit better.  His drawing is excellent.  I think we even see different versions of the Doctor, the watch, Rose…quite an eye for pretty girls.  Oh, she’s just a character called Rose.  Martha…we get a look from Martha there.  She disappears later on.  Cat nurses…the TARDIS, the blue box, he calls it.  Always there, like a magic carpet.  Fun little box; transports me to faraway places.  Like a doorway?  I guess so.  I think he even has a thing of all the older Doctors.  I don’t know.  Previous Doctors.  Joan says if only about something.  Just a dream.  We see the watch again, then she takes a journal…Martha runs after him and says don’t worry about that journal, man.

 

Well, he said I could read it.  She goes, it’s silly.  Just stories, right?  Then Nurse Redfern says who is he, Martha?  It’s like he’s left the kettle on.  He knows he has something to get back to, but he can’t remember.  She goes, you two came together, right?  She goes yeah, yeah.  Then the nurse says you’re a little familiar, you know?  I say wait a second…Martha makes a great face.  What time is that at?  About 10:21 on HBO.  She says oh yeah?  Matronly…what else we got here?  Smith’s speechless downstairs.  Martha rushes in.  Not good form.  Is he alright?  I know more than you.  Nurse, matron…my remarkable tales.  Two hearts hiding.  Goes the journal…gives the journal…drawings…Rose invention…cat nurse…blue box…magic carpet like a doorway.  Old Doctors?  Question mark.  If only…the watch.  Martha runs after nurse.

 

They talk, which we covered.  More punk kids.  Do my homework…more money, better school.  One of the kids can kinda read minds, so he gets in trouble.  He evens tries to say I can’t help it; it’s just like some sort of luck.  They call him Little Toad.  Then another kid says there’s beer in the woods.  He says go get the beer.  Actually, let’s look it up right now.  Okay…and just see who the guests are.  Doctor Who, Human Nature…and let’s see, ‘cause I think one of these kids is…was in…I know I’ve seen him in movies before.  Okay, let’s see what Wikipedia has.  Okay, Jessica Hynes, Harry Lloyd, Thomas Sangster, Pip Torrens, Rebekah Station, and Goren…oh no; Gerard Horan.  I was gonna say Goren Horen.  That doesn’t help me.  So, let’s try IMDB.  Okay, it does bring up the episode; that’s good.  Okay, who do we got?

 

Oh, this is the kid, Thomas Brodie.  How come he didn’t even get a…let’s see.  This kid, Thomas Brodie, has definitely been in some things I’ve seen.  Oh, holy moly, my goodness, how time connects back to one another.  I knew I recognized this kid from somewhere that I liked, and I rec…when he was…I didn’t recognize…I recognized him in something else when he was in…so, he was in…he was…played a really good character in the Queen’s Gambit.  But I recognized him…I don’t know, was it from Star Wars, The First Order?  Was it a video game?  But he’s definitely in something…oh, that’s it; GoT.  There we go.  Okay, so now it’s all coming together.  So, he was in GoT, then he was in the Queen’s Gambit, but he was in this first, I think, probably.  What year did this come out?  So, yeah.  It’s cool.  I don’t know.

 

I don’t have it…all the info.  I knew I recognized him more than once, and I knew I recognized him from the Queen’s Gambit.  When I looked it up at the time, I must not have looked deep enough, because I didn’t know he…I said oh, from Game of Thrones; Jojen or whatever, Jojen?  So, my apologies.  But really, I thought a quality character acting.  I don’t know.  His character was a somewhat important character in the Queen’s Gambit, and I just liked the flourish he played it with.  Okay, back to the episode.  Let’s do a little bit more notes.  One more…oh, then they’re at the pub.  Women aren’t allowed inside the pub.  One more month.  Anywhere to the stars…this is Martha talking; all the way out…then there’s a green flash.  Only Martha sees it.  Then the nurse comes out of the woods.  She goes, did you see that flash?

 

Then we see a green spotlight.  There’s music.  She runs…I think that’s Martha.  Did you see that?  Smith…oh no, no.  Somebody runs.  Did you see that?  Smith; the comet cinder.  Cooper's Field…Martha runs off.  Then we see a ship land, and the kid is getting the beer.  He sees it.  This kid actually does some quality problem-solving for a jerk.  He sees…he realizes that it’s invisible…he slowly discovers that it’s a force field.  At first it seems like that.  It turns green, but it’s more of a invisible ship or a ship with an invisibility powder or power or cloak.  Impossible?  He holds his hands against it so that he can find…he finds a door, he goes inside.  I don’t know what this says; brain-smart kid?  Brain-smart could?  Mouth and fond?  Run.  Nothing…told you so.  Oh, this must be Martha and the other one.  No falling star.

 

In green room…oh no.  Let’s see what we got.  Martha walks off.  Okay, this is when they’re telling Latimer to do the homework; Latin.  Get it done.  No mistakes.  That’s one of the rich kids.  My best handwriting…fathers…there’s also this whole colonist thing.  It’s like…and like oh, maybe being a colonist isn’t such a great idea.  It’s beautiful places; why do we gotta mess with it?  So, they go back and forth.  He also reveals that not only does he care; he can read…he can also read minds to somewhat…some degree.  So, I guess in some sense he’s like Bran.  This kid was the sister…I think this kid was one of people that helped…I can’t remember, but I think…isn’t he one of the ones that helped them go to the…to meet the One-Eyed Raven?

 

Which I used to sing, One-Eyed Raven, Oh-So Raven, and to the lyrics of Three-Eyed Lady or whatever.  Green-Eyed Lady, right?  So, then the kid…now they’re going hey, you want some beer?  Baxter hid it in the woods.  Well, get going, man.  Hurry up, and none for the little kid.  I said well, yeah, ‘cause he’s a little kid.  He says hurry along, I’m some parched.  Okay, then outside the pub, Martha and her friend are having some pints or half-pints.  She says, you might be able to drink in a pub in London, but not out here.  But Martha’s like, I mean that’s…what do you mean?  It’s garbage time.  We should be able to do…we’re…and then Martha says one month and I’m outta here anyway.  She goes, you could come with me, Jenny.  Sorry, Jenny.  Where are you gonna go?  Space; up there.

 

Already been there, all the way to the stars.  She goes, you’re wild.  That’s where I’m going, in the sky, all the way out.  Then we see the green spark.  Did you see that?  No.  Martha stands.  She’s looking, then the nurse comes along.  I guess she’s just out for her evening stroll.  She sees a more powerful green beam in the rain.  It’s raining…a green spotlight from above.  Can’t deny that.  She’s kind of mystified.  She turns around, doesn’t…then sees another green spotlight searching maybe for a landing pad?  I don’t know.  They’re looking, though.  She walks off.  Misty breath, rainy…she…oh, so she does run towards the pub.  Matron, what’s up?  Green lights in the woods is what’s up.  The Doctor comes out, or Professor Smith or whatever, then there’s a comet.  The Doctor mansplains the comet.

 

I just realized that, or Docsplains it.  Just everybody stay calm; just a meteorite.  Just rocks falling to the ground many miles away.  Didn’t come down in the woods like you think it did, but it really did.  Nothing but a cinder.  Maybe I should escort you…I’ll just drop this fax and walk you all back.  They say no thanks; why don’t you take your future date with you?  Martha’s like, I gotta do some sleuthing.  So, Martha heads out in the dark to Cooper's Field.  Jenny eventually follows her as a good friend would.  They left full pints behind.  Kid pulls out a wood box of beer.  That’s when the ship lands, even though it’s invisible.  He’s mesmerized, obviously.  I mean, who wouldn’t be, right?  It’s a spaceship.  So, the ship goes down, he’s looking at it like whoa, that’s a…he even gulps.  Oh boy, a spaceship, eh?

 

Then he heads to it, forgets about the beer.  The beer was hidden under a fallen tree, the roots of a fallen tree.  Says hello?  Is it a airplane?  What’s going on?  That’s when he runs into the forest field, face-first, I think.  You chaps alright?  Does use some deduction…doesn’t work out.  In the end it doesn’t work out for him, but he does use deduction.  Deduction, deductions, what’s your function?  Then he hits it.  He says this is impossible.  He takes another gulp, holds his hands against it, and that’s how he figures out where the door is, as we said.  I was just really impressed ‘cause I would be…I would have ran the other way.  If it was the old days, I would have just drank the…I would have drank all the beer, too, then gone and drank the two pints that the nurses left.  But this kid’s curious, as curious as a cat, unfortunately.

 

Now, he goes in blind, disappears into the ship.  Martha and Jenny come, but they’re at a distance, so they don’t see the ship because it’s invisible.  Nothing there.  Told you so, Jenny says.  Cooper's Field; this is it, right?  Far as the eye can see.  No falling star.  Let’s go; it’s cold out.  Nothing to see, just like we got mansplained by Mr. Smith, Professor Smith.  They walk off.  Okay, oh yeah, and then we go to the kid in there.  He’s talking to the beings from outer space.  We’re the family.  Who are you, little thing?  He’s in this green…says I’m Jeremy Baines.  Can I leave?  He’s kinda holding his knees.  Sorry, Baines.  We’re gonna work with you.  It’s a pretty cool-looking…somewhat organic, somewhat technological green…what is that called?  Spaceship inside of a spaceship.  Oh, we can answer your questions.

 

Soon we’ll look very familiar.  He says I want to see what you look like.  That’s when he says oh, no.  Then we go to the kid…he’s…the psychic kid.  He’s polishing shoes probably for one of the jerks.  Baines comes back.  They say, where’s the…where’s that kid with the beer?  They open a window and he climbs in, and Baines is looking a little bit peaky.  He’s sweaty and wide-eyed.  No beer.  They call him a dolt.  Where’s the blessed beer?  No beer.  It was gone.  They say darn, man, where you been?  Pretty poor show.  He’s sniffing ‘cause he’s sniffing out something.  He goes, but maybe I have a cold.  But the psychic kid knows something weird is up.  Very cold.  Then the main rich kid says don’t spread it, man.  Come on, chaps.  Let’s go see if we can find some beer somewhere else.  So, they go off.

 

Baines stares at the kid who’s polishing the shoes who’s uncomfortable.  He’s just polishing away.  Then we see this really beautiful green countryside and a cottage, Martha on a bike, beautiful hat…she was wearing a hat last night.  She goes into this cottage, warm on the inside, and what is in there?  She smiles.  First, there’s all this romantic music.  Let me read my things.  Shining shoes…no show…winder not…window knock…sweaty…a word…no beer, poor show.  Show, show…Martha on bike, old cottage.  She smiles.  Romantic…romance music; that’s what I put.  TARDIS and key.  Hello.  Talking machine.  Very rom-con music.  Flashback…laser…listen laser…maps…run…trustee…trust me…hand…hunters track me down.  Something me…but you…ganna make ship bug…time.  Time Lord become human.

 

Plush…looks up at device.  Mouth…face…stress face…oh, Martha caring face, then stress face.  She tries it…she ties it up, tries it up…Doctor’s initiative…Doctor’s instructions.  Oh, she…yeah, she fires it up, she fires up the TARDIS.  Watch only if you have to.  Doctor all available…all down to you.  Your choice.  Thank you, Smith.  Then kid psychic…okay, so let’s run through this scene here.  Martha’s going towards the TARDIS, she opens it up with her key, puts it back around her neck, pushes the door.  It’s in a…kind of like a barn, not a cottage, ‘cause there’s hay.  Hello.  Talking to a machine…she pulls off her gloves and looks at the TARDIS not pumping away or anything, but glowing.  She’s thoughtful, looking around.  Then she flashes back…get down…lasers are shooting.  She moves around the heart of the TARDIS or whatever.

 

That’s what I call it.  I don’t know if that’s the right thing…the console, then flashback to the beginning…following us wherever we go, right across the universe.  Not gonna stop.  She crosses her arms.  Trust me.  All depends on you.  She’s kinda frowning now.  Martha, this watch is me.  Okay, got you.  Now hold on.  Completely lost.  These creatures are hunters; they sniff stuff out.  Being a Time Lord, they can sniff me out across time and space.  What’s the good news?  Well, they could smell me, but they haven’t seen me, and their supplies are running out.  So, we gotta do it before they…goes, I have to stop being a Time Lord.  This happened in Superman, right?  I’m gonna become human.  Didn’t work out in Superman and we’ll see how it works out with this, ‘cause it’s a two-parter.  Doesn’t say a two-parter, but it is.

 

Martha looks up in the present at a machine, then we go to the flashback.  It’s kinda like this…what do they call it?  Magneto used to use something…or no, not Magneto, but Doctor Xavier used to use something like this.  This one rewrites your biology, make you into human.  I’ve set it to human; could do other stuff.  Plugs the watch into it, and can’t do the same.  You’re human; they won’t follow you or something.  I don’t know.  What’s it gonna feel like if it rewrites your cells?  He goes oh, not great.  So, we see Martha’s caring face, then we see her stress face when the Doctor’s getting rewritten…and the Doctor getting rewritten right into the watch, though, I guess.  Martha covers her mouth.  Doctor lets out a bit of a yawl, then Martha’s got the green lights.

 

She’s saying okay…she goes to the console, she watches this recording of the Doctor.  Is this thing working?  Martha, before I change, I gotta record some instructions.  That’s handy.  Okay, don’t let me not be nice.  Don’t worry about the TARDIS; it’ll hide.  Okay, don’t get involved in any big historical events and don’t let me lose you.  So, okay.  Five…but then she fast-forwards.  Meteor, shooting star, what am I supposed to do?  Twenty-three…he’s a bit like Scoots; if anything goes wrong…if they find us, Martha, then you know what to do.  Open the watch.  Everything I am is kept safe in there, but I won’t recognize it ‘cause it’s got some perception filter.  So, it’s just a watch, but don’t open it unless you have to, ‘cause then they’ll be able to find me.  Martha nods and frowns.  Down to you, Martha.  Your choice.

 

Then the Doctor’s…oh, by the way, thanks.  Then he gives a smile, which gives some confidence back.  She goes, I wish you’d come back.  Then the kid…kid psychic’s going to talk to the professor.  You want me to collect a book?  Yeah.  Good lad.  Come on in.  The definitive count of some book.  I don’t know, I missed it.  Where did I put it?  Hey, your marks aren’t great.  I can tell you’re not…you’re smarter than that.  Timothy is his name.  You should be the top of your class, but you’re hiding it.  He goes, I think it’s ‘cause the kids aren’t nice.  He goes, no man should hide himself.  Don’t you think?  The kid sees the watch and he picks it up and hears voices in there; Time Lord, a bunch of other stuff…hide, all that kinda…things.  Secret in…within.  The kid opens it.

 

A bunch of glowing stuff comes out, and then that Baines kid who got the aliens working through him, he starts…he senses something and he gives the book to the kid.  Everything okay?  The kid pockets the watch.  Remember, use that brain of yours.  Power of a Time Lord, it says.  He sees that the Doctor…or Smith is the Doctor.  You okay, kid?  No.  I’ll see you later, professor.  He walks off, closes the door.  We zoom on his face; he’s thinking.  We don’t know what he’s thinking.  He runs to his room, looks at the watch when he’s alone, and wonders…wa-wa-wonders…opens it again.  Some psychic mist comes out.  Keep me hidden.  You’re not alone.  He sees some other…a lot of the history of the Doctor, even stuff I don’t know about.  Baines senses something.  Bell rings.  Kids are getting called to do something.  I don’t know.

 

Class is ready.  Baines is looking.  Come along, Jenkins.  Baines turns, senses something, but he doesn’t know.  That’s the kid that’s part…oh, then he goes into some green light…a trace, but scattered.  Scent is confused.  But we better get ready for action time.  Activate the soldiers.  Then we see some old dude walking in the countryside.  He must own a farm or something.  A scarecrow waves at him and he says is that a kid pretending to be a scarecrow?  No, it turns out it’s not.  So, we quickly realized that there’s…the aliens now have scarecrows working for them.  Friendly ones, of course; they just say hey, we’re just here to scare the crows, not everybody else, so don’t worry.  We’re all like, you just call us straw friends instead of scarecrows.

 

I said oh, I wish I thought of that earlier, but we’ll move forward with it.  Marks aren’t good enough for my notes.  Kid senses…watch whispers…he opens the watch, takes it.  Power of a Time Lord.  Power of a Time Lord…let’s see.  I lost my spot here.  Kid senses…opens the watch, takes it…the power of a Time Lord…he opens the watch while alone.  Lots of crazy stuff.  Kid alien…green…he’s on the case.  Arm ourselves, activate…scarecrows go wild.  Girl with a red balloon…she be…she joins the scarecrow crew.  Kids pre-war…better than the best you have to be.  Then our psych kid…psychic says I’m not a colonist.  Flash forward; wow.  Kids were…oh, I can’t believe the stuff these kids get away with at this school.  The nurse, your journal, my husband…pretty sure that says prime delivery, but I know it doesn’t.

 

Doctor and nurse talk war.  1914…shadow across the world.  Piano…there’s a cartoon piano moment where the Doctor saves a pram and a piano at the same…he doesn’t save the piano; saves the pram.  Still walking…Gallifrey…words on scarecrow…works on scarecrow.  Doctor draws her.  Love in the air.  Kiss…Martha; kiss, and they kiss back, and Martha comes awkward and sad.  Okay, let’s run it here.  This is the dude saying yo, so this is the scarecrow; what up with it?  Then he realizes oh no, it’s not the…it’s a being from outer space.  They say no, we’re straw friends, not scarecrows.  Straw friends of the family, so we’re gonna have you help us.  We consider ourselves the protagonist, not the antagonist.  Let’s go meet the girl with the red balloon, have her join our team.

 

She says oh, okay, I guess I’m joining this team with the straw friends.  Then we see the kids practicing and concentrating.  You gotta be the best of the best.  But you know, there’s a question of conscience.  This kid says I’m not a colonist.  I don’t want to be colonizing places.  They said well, that’s not your choice.  That’s not what this school’s for.  So, they go back and forth, and…but the kid actually makes a stand with another professor.  The professor’s…one day, you…maybe you’ll be able to understand.  Also, in the foreground is the dude that joined the aliens.  He’s got a wild look on his face.  We’ve got a flash-forward, we get flashbacks, the kid has a watch in his flash-forward to the WW, which he doesn’t like.  Who would?  They say yeah, this kid’s not helping, man.  Profession to…wag my finger at Latimer?

 

They say oh, the professor says okay.  I say, you can’t wag…what kind of school allows kids to wag…then Baines senses the Doctor, maybe.  He’s sniffing around, literally, not figuratively.  He goes off.  Nurse is watching.  She’s stressed; she doesn’t like this whole thing either, ‘cause she’s a nurse, Nurse Redfern, Joan.  She goes, I got…I’ll give you back your journal.  He goes no, no, no, you don’t have to.  She goes, excuse me.  She’s thinking about…my husband and the past.  I gotta go.  But the Doctor knows something’s up.  So, then we see a piano getting raised up, like something right out of a cartoon.  They’re walking…Oliver was her husband’s name.  He did go…childhood sweethearts, but one sweetheart made a move to the big farm.  She goes yeah, I don’t like that the kids are learning that, too.

 

She goes, why does it have to be military discipline?  I don’t think military discipline’s the way.  Long may we have peace.  She goes, you wrote about next year, 1914, in your journal.  That’s when the shadow falls across the land.  He goes well, it was just a dream.  Doctor’s really buttoned up; he’s got a hat, a coat.  Not very Doctor-like; more professor-like right now.  Shadow across the world…well, I don’t…hopefully it won’t be true.  He goes yeah, I don’t think valor and honor have to be through aggression, either.  Maybe we could find it in small places.  That’s when he sets the example, saves the pram, saves people a lot of money, ‘cause it looked like a handmade wicker pram.  I think he uses a cricket ball.  No, I think he does kinda like a special move.  What do you call it?

 

Infernal machine style; knocks over something, knocks over something else.  Very impressive.  Said, talk about a move to make somebody that already likes you fall in love with you.  Say, it’s not…no wonder I have such unrealistic expectations of myself.  I watch so much TV.  But she’s impressed, I mean, as she should be, I guess.  They say you saved the day.  They said, you know…she goes, how do you…if you save a pram, how do you up that?  He goes well, by active listening and fixing a scarecrow.  Oh, and asking her to the dance.  She goes oh yeah, you extraordinary man.  I’d love to.  So, they’re both laughing.  But this is still…she says I still need one more thing.  So, he fixes the scarecrow.  I think he uses it as a metaphor, as a straw friend.

 

She goes, you were quite the…your character, though, is quite the fireplace lover and dance…and I’m gonna dance with him.  The Doctor dances and he goes, was that what that episode was about?  I thought it was more melancholy.  She goes, where is Gallifrey?  He goes huh, I’m not sure.  Then he says, my father Sydney was a watchmaker from Nottingham and my mother Verity was…hm, she was a nurse, actually.  She goes, nurses are great, aren’t they?  I say well, I prefer a doctor like Martha, myself.  My work is done.  I fixed the scarecrow or whatever, but the scarecrow says I’m not a scarecrow, Scoots.  I’m a straw friend.  Then the Doctor’s drawing a vision of Joan Redfern or whatever.  The Doctor even has in his office a model of some building.  She goes, do I look like that?

 

He goes, you’re even more beautiful…and she tries to do some self-deprication, but he goes well, that’s how I see you.  She goes, really?  A flat, two-dimensional drawn object?  He’s staring at her.  You’re not saying anything at all.  She goes, I just want to stop right now.  I think she says something like preserve this moment or something.  I don’t know.  He does the old hair, face touch…back of the finger one, then a kiss.  Closed mouth, but not even puckered lips, and then says oh, boy.  She kisses him back, though.  That one’s a…that’s…what…one, two…that’s a serious kiss.  Holy…boy, oh, boy.  Martha comes in.  Holy mackerel, what did I just walk in on?  She almost…she says B-A-R-F and then goes back to the TARDIS.  Okay, so she goes to see the TARDIS, watches a video again.  Don’t let me abandon you.

 

Shakes her head…that’s…what about women?  You didn’t think of that, did you?  What am I…what the double-H hockey sticks am I supposed to do?  Then he says thank you, smiles.  Really heartbreaking for me and Martha and for me as a…she says you had to go and fall in love with a human and it wasn’t…jeez, man.  No offense, Doctor.  Then the kid…kid psychic is looking at the watch, listening to the voices.  Last of the Time Lords.  He looks up; he sees kid alien walking in the woods, staring at him like a robot though, or walking like a robot.  He meets up with the dude that owned the straw beings, the balloon girl, and they’re ready to roll.  Well, they need one more…they look at the…they look at kid psychic, turn their heads to the side, and sniff.  They still need one more member for their crew, who we see.

 

She goes, who’s…she’s riding her bike, Jenny, and then she runs into one of the straw friends.  She’s the last piece of their puzzle party.  Then we go to the ship; Jenny’s there.  She doesn’t understand.  Mr. Clark’s there.  What’s going on, Mr. Clark?  I don’t get this.  Something looks like a giant sea-diving, green, glowing thing.  But he goes yeah, we need you.  She works at the school, and whatever’s going on is happening at the school, kid alien says.  His eyes are green.  They match the glow of the ship.  Never got to say that to anybody; your eyes match the glow of this cockpit.  They say be quiet.  My mother’s gonna meet you, and by meet you I mean become one with you.  Here she is.  Takes out a glowing…green, glowing ball…matches his eyes, like a green globe.  We go through…shapes so fast…yours is adequate.

 

Then he says mother of mine, and some green smoke comes out.  Joins with Jenny…never hear about Jenny…that we got her number or anything, or 8675309.  Okay, what do we got here?  My notes here…Gallifrey works on this…the thing.  Doctor draws her.  Love’s in the air.  Kiss, kiss back.  Trouble…roan ship grew…green globe; we saw that.  Mother of mine…dance prep.  Can you dance?  I gotta say the Doctor dances.  Martha…fork all of it.  Team tea time.  Forget all of it, maybe?  Martha runs.  Lasers…that part made me say I strongly dislike laser beams, like the song.  Never done…I don’t even know the rest, other than Scent of a Mule.  Water is gone…something’s gone.  OMG…Martha really fingerprints him, stops him.  He throws her out.  Finger-points him; okay.  I know what I’m saying.

 

Fog watch…oh, that’s the kinda watch it is, a fog watch.  She bumps into last flashback.  Androids looking for Mr. Smith.  Androids looking for Mr. Smith…dance flirt.  Space pony…space pony kid sneaks in.  Waltz time.  Library speech…library search.  Somebody’s searching the library.  Son of mine, daughter of mine…I’ll finish out my notes, then we’ll finish out the episode.  Circa…music dance…Martha…matron and Martha talking.  She pulls out some…oh, sonic screwdriver.  John, John…Martha’s sunk.  Velvet eyes?  Kids…knows…kid…oh, the psychic kid knows that lasers…I think the kid figures it all out.  Then everybody rolls in from outer space, the straw friends and the people that have joined with…the family, I guess they’re called.  Lasers, silence…we need a Time Lord.  Slow down.

 

What are big music…?  Friend or lover?  You choose.  I say…and that’s how it ends, I think.  So, let’s see, Doctor tells his date she looks wonderful.  She says by the way, can you dance?  Says, I’m not certain.  Looks up; there’s a surprise.  Is there anything you are certain about, she says?  Oh, he says oh boy, certainly pitter-pattering with my heart right now.  Jenny goes into her and Martha’s room or just Martha’s room.  She goes, Mister…somebody…one of the other teachers had afternoon tea, but now we can have it.  How about it?  She breathes through her nose, Jenny.  Sorry, I got a cold coming on…sits down.  Martha says, I don’t know what to do.  About who?  Mr. Smith and Marianne.  It’s never gonna last.  He’s gonna leave in a few weeks.  Clue, she says.  Why?  Well, his contract comes up.  Where is he gonna leave…?

 

All sorts of places.  I can’t tell you, Jenny; it’s complicated.  In what way?  Can’t tell you.  But she says tell me, tell me now.  Martha says I don’t know.  Something doesn’t feel right.  How about some tea?  Yes…she says, what about some gravy and mutton?  Or sardines and jam?  Martha figures it out.  She does that little quizzy-poo.  She says excuse me one second, Jenny.  She closes the door, turns around, and makes a run for it down the stairs.  Jenny’s already lasering after Martha.  Doctor’s making out.  Martha runs in; I warned you.  They look like us but they’re undercover.  You gotta open the watch.  Where’s the watch?  Doctor says, huh.  She goes, the watch is gone.  The Doctor’s like, what are you talking about?  She goes, the fob watch.  Oh, I thought it was fog watch ‘cause I was in a fog.

 

Even his date says what is going on?  She goes, and beings from another world, Jenny, copied, taken over.  Where’s the watch?  The Doctor says oh, I see.  Maybe you’re feeling strong feelings.  Martha, this is a story.  Martha says come on, dude.  This is not you; it’s 1913.  Doctor’s really Docsplaining her and she has to finger-point him very strongly.  Come back to the TARDIS with me.  No, and he tosses her out of the room, closes the door.  He goes, the cheek or whatever.  You think I’ve got it.  The nurse, she says there was a watch here earlier.  We were making out right by it.  Martha runs, bumps into kid psychic.  He looks after her.  Martha?  Not now, Tim.  I’m busy.  Sorry, didn’t know your name, kid.  She goes to the TARDIS, grabs the Doctor’s coat, his duster.  Can’t find anything in it.

 

They go into…maybe they’re…oh, they go into Mr. Smith’s office.  Mr. Smith, you in here?  Jenny says…she’s hiding something, Martha.  We both scented him.  He’s plain and human, but maybe he knows something.  Where is he?  Old green eyes…then they say…Doctor’s going; he’s still flirting, saying oh boy, this is a dance.  I don’t know if I’m gonna be able to pull it off.  The kid follows them in to the dance.  He knows…he’s investigating, kid psychic.  There’s a punch bowl, a keg or wooden keg.  A waltz starts up.  People are excited.  They’re dancing.  Doctor and Nurse Redfern are eye-to-eye in love.  Oh boy, are they.  You can dance.  Quite surprised myself, the Doctor says.  They’re moving around, they bump into a couple other couples.

 

The former human’s now bonded with…the family or whatever are going through the books, and the patron dude says well, there’s a dance.  Son of mine, daughter of mine’s already there.  Well, let’s go to the dance.  You could dance if you want to.  Oh, the daughter’s there.  I think that would be a little strange.  She’s got a red balloon, though.  Martha goes into the…some dude tries to something-splain her.  People are watch…the straw friends are watching from the outside.  There’s someone playing accordion.  Doctor’s grabbing drinks.  Martha sits down with the nurse.  The nurse says please, this is supposed to be my date.  She goes, he’s different from any other man you’ve met, right?  Yep.  Sometimes he says strange things.  Yep.  Are we talking about Scooter or the Doctor?

 

They say he’s been to other places that don’t even exist or he can describe them perfectly or something like that.  Never even heard of him, but he’s deeper than that.  When you look in your…his eyes, you know there’s something else in there, something hidden.  Right behind the eyes, something hidden away in the dark.  She says, I don’t know what you’re talking about.  She goes come on, baloney.  You know exactly what I’m talking about.  Doesn’t even matter what you think anyway.  You’re nice, you’re lucky.  Sorry about this, but I gotta break this whole thing up.  The Doctor comes over.  Oh, Martha, what are you doing?  She says check this thing out.  Oh, so that’s what she took out of his jacket.  She goes, what is this?  Even Nurse Redfern says what is it, John?  The Doctor said hm, I’m perplexed.

 

I’ll touch it, though.  Martha’s hopeful.  She goes, you’re not John Smith.  You are the Doctor.  The man in your journal’s real.  That’s who you are, yo.  Meanwhile, the little girl with the red balloon figures it out.  The family rolls in.  They start lasering people right off…from the jump, they’re lasering people.  Kid psychic’s there.  He sees the straw friends show up.  He says oh, boy.  He’s still making connections; he quite hasn’t got it all connected.  They push…when the dad of the family shows up, he pushes over a coat rack.  I say, how rude could you be?  He just pushed over the coat rack unnecessarily.  Mr. Clark, what’s going on?  Lasers the band leader, and that gets everybody’s attention.  Then Martha says don’t worry about the sonic screwdriver.  They say, silence.  Martha tries to play it down.

 

Straw friends are watching, too.  Got some questions for Mr. Smith.  The little girl goes no, he’s the Doctor.  I was eavesdropping.  Oh, a human form.  The Doctor doesn’t know; he says I’m human.  They go, this is wild, man.  They go, you got a human brain, too.  That’s why you can’t figure it out.  They laugh.  But we need a Time Lord, not a…so, we’ll have to undo the doing.  But we’ll have to have him undo it.  Change back…don’t know what you’re talking about, change back.  The Doctor really doesn’t know.  They go, what about Martha, your friend?  He goes, I don’t know what you mean.  Wait a minute.  Then they say, what about your date?  They go, you can choose.  Your companion or your lover?  I say Doctor, man, you…no offense, dude; you chose in a way…has it taught you wonderful things?

 

Are you better, richer, wiser?  Then answer this; who do you choose?  Doctor’s shaking.  Maid or matron?  Your friend or your lover?  They do a lot of cutting face-to-face, they zoom on the Doctor who’s not…he’s like, I can’t…this is a dilemma.  But it’s a dilemma we can wait for a little while and just rest.  Don’t worry; the Doctor…you know the good thing about these is it always works out.  I mean, I guess eventually it’ll lead to the end of the season where…understandably my…well, I don’t know, ‘cause I haven’t seen the every…seen the end of the season.  But so, yeah.  Just think about the Doctor dancing and waltzing back and forth, waltzing across the room, waltzing you off to dreamland.  Here’s some thank-yous.  Goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription by Leah Hervoly)

Notable Language:

• Goren Horen
• A Cartoon Piano moment
• Doc-splaining

Notable Culture:

• Station Eleven (Book and TV Show)
• Thomas Brodie-Sangster
• X-men

Notable Talking Points:

• How come my mind never talks to me in the voice of Barbra Streisand?
• Maybe being a colonist isn’t such a great idea
• You’ve unnecessarily pushed over the coat rack