1055 – Italian Week | Great British Bake You Off To Sleep C5/S8 E7

Episode 1055 – Italian Week | Great British Bake You Off To Sleep C5/S8 E7

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, my patrons, I don’t know if you kept that…caught that squeaky voice there, patrons, but this is the podcast you could call me when you want, you could call me when you need, call me when you’re…you need a lulling, and I’ll be…I’m always on my way ‘cause I’m always on-call.  But whenever you need lulls, give me a call, patrons, via the RSS app once again, ‘cause it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you or sends you, if you’re over in the UK, to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts that you’re thinking about, maybe they’re on your mind, they’re in…I don’t know.  Are they on your mind?  I just thought of that, or in your mind.  Most of my thoughts are around…in…in, out…isn’t there another song; In, Out, Upside Down?

 

You turn me…any song about that, that’s…my thoughts are in and out, ‘cause there was also a song, You’re Always On My Mind.  A lot of song lyrics in this episode.  But you could say, always on my mind, in my mind, around my…in and out.  My thoughts are like things that open the door, look in, they say a few things…before you even…doesn’t this…does this happen to you?  This is a meta…this is figurative, metaphorical, and real.  Someone opens the door and they say stuff to you, or whatever, and then…or whatever; I don’t know what ‘or whatever’ means, but…and then by the time your brain processes that someone’s talking to you about something, they’re already gone.  So, you never turned on…this is where people say oh, you’re all…I’m always listening.

 

Well, I’m not a smart speaker; I’m…I speak, but…’cause I’m not always listening.  As a matter of fact, you better make sure I’m listening, ‘cause they say, secret code for the million dollars is this.  You say, wait, did…and then you go back to what you were doing and you say, did some…did Bernice come in and say something to me?  That was one of my old bosses, Bernice.  Great boss; I loved her.  Great…the best booker of assemblies.  I’m not even kidding.  She was a principal I worked for.  She booked the best assemblies.  I don’t know what her…she…I’ve never seen…never before, never again assemblies like these.  This was a pre-Steam and STEM era.  She had Sesame Workshop there, so many amazing…oh wait, oh, sorry; welcome to Sleep With Me.  This is a sleep podcast.

 

This is not someone that starts talking about songs and then goes…well, it actually is…and then goes off-topic.  But so, thoughts might be keeping you awake.  Obviously they keep me awake…feelings related to the thoughts or feelings that are just there, physical sensations, could be changes in time or temperature or routine.  Whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of it so you could fall asleep.  Really that simple.  The way I do it is I try to create a safe place, and it’s a silly safe place.  I’ll explain more about that right here in a second, but I smooth it, I pat it, I rub it down, I say call me when you need; I’ll be on my way.  But, you know, just to lull you via podcast app, not anything where your back sweats and you say oh, boy.

 

Or you say well, you’re always on my mind.  I guess that’s just another way of saying it.  Things…here’s a Jeopardy…I always try to submit these Jeopardy…Things Lil Nas X and John Denver Have in Common for $1,000, please.  I’d have to…that would be a brainstorming session.  Say Scoots, could you come in for just that thing?  We can’t pay you.  Also, we’re not sure we need you there because we really gotta get through 10,000 questions today.  Oh, I thought…what is answers?  I thought you were working on answers, not questions.  Which do you think…?  I’m sure they’ve explained it before.  I guess they come up with it all together.  You say, do they come up with the questions or the answers first?  That’s pretty…and that’s why I’m not a smart speaker.

 

Okay, so, here’s what I’m gonna do; I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, I’m gonna go off-topic, I’m gonna get mixed up, I’m gonna backtrack.  You’ve seen it already.  You’ve witnessed it firsthand; bouncing around topics and getting mixed up, and then forgetting what I was talking about, then just starting to talk…I mean, who would have known I would have covered so much ground already, except for a regular listener.  So, but if you’re new, you might be confused.  So, a regular listener, they’re already like, holy cow, Scoots talked about an old boss.  I mean, I actually…I made that episode Relay Races in East LA; that was the school Bernice L. was the principal of.

 

She was…I’m not even kidding; you know when there was Simpsons episodes and other things where they show these amazing assemblies that only happen once?  She had an amazing assembly like that.  An assembly is where the whole school comes.  This was K through 8.  There’s performers or sometimes there’s smaller groups.  You just have…you split it up.  It could be some sort of a puppet, BMX bikes, plays, musicals, all that kinda stuff; science.  Now they’d call it…it’d be Steam or STEM-related.  But this had it all.  Oh, so good.  Anyway, not as…much better…much more concise than these, ‘cause they were usually like, thirty to fifty minutes.  I remember there was one group; they were from Sesame Workshop, I think, young performers, actors, young actresses and actors, and they did some sort of thing.

 

I looked at them so dreamily.  We were probably around the same age, early twenties, and I said the life they must…they’re living the dream.  Probably they weren’t.  Now that I’m grown up, I say they’re driving from school to school.  Probably wasn’t easy, but I don’t know.  Okay, so…oh, I go off-topic, I get mixed up, all to take your mind off of stuff and put you to sleep.  So, a few things to know about the podcast.  It’s a little late to tell you this, but it’s not for everybody.  But it’s just obviously…you’ve listened to me thus far, but it does take two or three tries to know that.  Some people know it immediately, and if you need to hit Eject or whatever and get outta here, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou has other sleep podcasts and sleepy audio.

 

But if you can, stick around for two or three episodes and just see how it goes.  The show’s free, and for the people that it works for, people have been listening seven years plus.  They say hey, it took two or three tries ‘cause this show is very different.  It’s a strange sense of humor, if you could call it that.  It’s an acquired taste.  Yeah, so just see how it goes.  That’s one thing to know, but it’s okay if you’re irritated or skeptical or you don’t like the show or you’re not sure.  I’ll do a little bit more explaining and going off-topic.  But really, I’m here to help.  It’s just, this is the way that I can help, right?  There’s other more straightforward podcasts to put you to sleep, and audio and stuff like that.  But like I said, I got the lulls they envy.  So…they envy.

 

So, okay, so, when I’m recording this, these pop culture references are actually somewhat timely, but when I’m…puts it out, you say Scoots, what is this?  It’s not 2021 anymore, or whatever year…no offense, whatever year John Denver was popular.  I’m not sure.  I mean, I know John Denver’s on the Muppets, so I’m not…this is not a…I just don’t know what years John Denver was…probably…I would guess somewhere between…in the…some…’72, ‘76, ‘78?  Oh wait, I just realized; I don’t think John Denver sings You Were Always On My Mind.  I think it’s Willie Nelson.  Oh boy, just lost most of the John Den…if you’re a John Denver fan, you’d probably understand, though.  You’d say okay, I can’t believe you made that mistake, but people have.

 

Willie Nelson fans, you’re just gig…if you’re a real Willie Nelson fan, you’re like Scoots, I…I’m giggling along with you, just like Willie would.  I mean, I kinda…now that I’m singing it in my head, I can understand.  Okay, so if you’re new, that’s a few things to know.  If you’re skeptical, doubtful, totally understand.  It’s not for everybody.  This show is here for a couple reasons, but the main reason is because you and your sleep are important and you deserve a good night’s sleep.  You deserve a place you could get some rest, so if I could provide that for you, that would be my honor, because that makes the world a better place to live in.  If you get the rest you need, your life’s better, all our lives are better.  That really is true.

 

I can feel parts of me saying that’s not…that’s…it is true, so it’s important, and having a place that…bedtime you could look forward to or feel neutral about, having a bedtime routine that works, that’s important because your life’s gonna be better.  So, if I can help with that, it’s my honor, and I know how it feels.  I’ve been there, tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble…you know, obviously.  You’ve been listening to me for the past ten minutes.  You know…you got a general idea of how my brain works.  Go ahead; you can armchair-assess me.  Believe me.  You’re…you probably were spot on.  So, there’s that.  That’s why I make the show.  This is a podcast you don’t really listen to.  That’s one of the things that’s hard to adjust to at first, is like, you kinda just barely pay attention to me.  I mean, if you’ve been listening to me, you understand.

 

You say wait a second, you don’t really make…you never complete a…and I was just on a trip with people, and a couple times I didn’t finish my sentences and they were like…’cause I thought they could hear my brain.  Sometimes I guess I…that’s what works about this podcast, is you don’t…you say well, but don’t listen.  Just kinda barely listen.  I’m a upgrade from background noise, so that’s one thing that can be hard to adjust to.  The other thing is this show does not put you to sleep.  I’m here to keep you company.  That’s why the shows are over an hour.  If you can’t sleep, I’m here to the very end.  But I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could drift off, not really to put you to sleep.

 

I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-cuz, your bore-sib, your bore-bestie, your bore-bruh, your bore-bud.  So, that’s…those are two things.  The other thing that can really throw people off is the structure of the show.  So, I always explain it ‘cause it is…you can adjust the show as you become a regular listener, but the show’s structured in a way to meet some goals around the podcast, and just the way most people consume the show, but that’s not…doesn’t mean there’s a right or wrong way to consume the show.  A lot of people go off-label, as we say.  So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then I say something where I try to make something funny and I don’t necessarily succeed.

 

That’s so you know the show is gonna treat you with dignity and respect or do our best to do that, and that it’s a bit silly.  Then there’s support; support for listeners, support for the community around the show, and support so the podcast can be free and come out twice a week.  The sponsors and the patrons make that possible.  Then there’s the intro, which goes on and on and on, about ten to twenty minutes long, and it’s different than the support.  It’s me trying to explain what the podcast is as you’ve witnessed, and getting distracted.  A lot of people say, why?  I say well, it’s a show within a show.  Now, 2% or 3% of listeners skip the intro.  A few thousand patrons listen to story-only episodes, and some people fall asleep during the intro.  But for most listeners, it’s the twilight of the day.

 

So, the intro serves…it’s familiar but it’s different every time.  That gives you the ability to kinda listen while you’re getting ready for bed or you’re chilling out or you’re drawing or knitting or getting…making your bed and then getting into it and getting comfortable, so it’s part of the wind-down of the show.  It’s part of the runway, so…that it gives you a transition from being awake to asleep.  So, the intro doesn’t really put you to sleep, but it could, or you could skip it.  But for most people, listeners really like the intro, and that’s not me patting myself on the back, because the people that…because I wouldn’t, because the people that don’t like the intro dislike it more than the…I mean, there’s more people that like the intro, but the people…the e-mails I…you know what I mean.

 

So, the few people that have strong feelings about the intro, they don’t really end up listening to the show, but they do let me know about it vehemently, I would say, with strong words, with plenty of verbs and adjectives and adverbs.  Never seen…but the intro goes on and on and on and feels like it does so that you can get ready for bed and get comfortable, and it’s also just…could be fun.  Could be, or it kinda bare…just barely fun.  It goes along with the spirit of the show; I’m your bore-friend and your bore-bud and I’m gonna talk about goofy stuff and keep you company, and lead you down a slow, wind-down.  Then there’s more support, again, so the show can come out free twice a week, and right now I prefer that over being behind a paywall.

 

Then there will be a story, or tonight we’ll talk about Great British Bake Off, and that’ll be fun.  I mean, that’s always fun, and kinda talk about some details, and it’ll be soothing and relaxing and not really ever get to the point, so that’ll be nice.  Then there’s some thank-yous at the end of the show.  So, that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show.  So, give it a few tries and see how it goes.  I’d formally like to apologize to everyone I’ve mentioned in this episode just because I’m a big fan of all of you.  Well, I guess I’m a fan, but I guess if I was a big fan, I’d know the difference between Willie Nelson and John Denver, and how Jeopardy designs their questions.  I’d know all the Lil Nas X lyrics.  So, not perfect though.  Definitely far from it.  But you don’t have to be.  That’s the show.

 

This show’s got rough edges that I smooth and I pat and I rub down.  So, I’m glad you’re here.  I really appreciate you checking the show out.  Give it a few tries, see how it goes, ‘cause I work real hard, I yearn and I strive, and I really hope I can help you fall asleep, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to do it for you for free twice a week.  Thanks.

 

Alright everybody, it’s Scoots here.  It’s Italian Week on Great British Bake Off, Collection 5 or Series.  I forget what season it was.  Episode 7.  Oh boy, was this…this episode was H-O-T…H-O-T…why do I want to say E?  H-O-T, hot.  So, let’s run through my notes and then we’ll run through the episode, run through my notes again.  Toss-up, goes up…oh, Sandi tossing pizza dough.  Does not come down, then it does.  Slow payoff.  Hot in tent.  A proven H-E double hockey sticks, but not moving.  First even…first ever Italian Week.  What is starset?  Valley of the cakes kings.  Stacey can’t get rid of M.  Liam; crack on.  Yan; book carp for baker.  Brook carp for baker.  Bonjouro, bakers.  So, that must be the talking heads sequence.  Eat…what is seneet?  Italian pony.  Oh, that’s like Italian’s play on the Italian stallion.

 

Eighteen ceno…eighteen C-N…C-E-N-O-I…three fillings.  Eighteen…what are those called?  They’re not cannellini beans.  Cannolis…I spelled cannoli C-E-N…I see I got it close.  C-A…if I’m giving…if I called it shorthand, it would be C-E…mound, mound, O slash, slash with a dot…does kind of get to cannoli.  Three fillings, two internal information…no.  Internal…Italian in…oh, they say get ready, get set, infornare to bake.  Bellissimo.  Steven; respect Italian food.  Ricotta, sweet filling…get shell right with bubbles.  Eat without a mess, like in Palermo.  Forty-five degrees.  Dough…vinegar for bubbles, 160 grams.  No sticky mess.  Liam; inspired by me.  Cheesy human.  Cheese…lemon cheesecake.  Turkish food…baklava…that’s Liam’s marshmallow chocolate.

 

Fried cheese and…I have; oh, have you been practicing, they go, but Paul’s like, how many times have you practiced?  Liam’s like, five, six, seven, eight, nine times.  Paul goes, have you been…really?  He goes, I have.  Steven; every week is Italian Week, but I’ve never seen…he talks about I think his grandfather.  I’ve never seen him make cannolis.  Italian lemons…Stacey’s making a jam roly, but not a jam roly-poly cannoli.  A jam roly cannoli; I just got that alliteration.  That’s alliteration, right?  I mean, it’s rhyming, but jam roly-poly into jam roly cannoli pannoli.  Roly-poly…but she’s just doing jam roly cannoli.  Cocoa powder in the dough…how will you know it’s done, that they’re cooked?  I feel like I’ll know.  Mixing sequence…Kate; happy hour.  Limoncello.  That’s one of my favorite LaCroix flavors.

 

Back in my pre-sober days in Italy, I had limoncello.  I don’t know if I had it in the US.  Probably once or twice.  But yeah, I like that limoncello.  I like key lime and limoncello-flavored LaCroix; not all the time, ‘cause it has a creamy…but it’s kinda like a soda substitute, though they can be hard to purchase.  My grocery stores don’t always have key lime, and I only buy LaCroix when it’s on sale.  I think, again, to go back to…if you’re buying bubbly water by the can, I think 2.8 cents an ounce is what you shoot for, or 2.5 cents an ounce is a good deal.  Definitely sub-three cents an ounce is your…what you’re aiming for, though sometimes LaCroix, I think getting it at 3.5 cents an ounce is…might be their best price.  But if you go generic…I mean, you can’t get limoncello generic.

 

They don’t really…they haven’t sold a lot of Polar out here.  On the East Coast I saw a lot of Polar sparkling water.  But recently they have, and it’ll be…the asking price is always pretty high, but then it goes on sale more often.  Like, every other week it’s on sale, and it’s usually a pretty steep sale where you’re hitting that sub-three cents an ounce.  We don’t have Wegmans.  If you have a Wegmans, do yourself a favor; cherry vanilla sparkling water.  It’s a after-dinner water.  Actually, probably not, but…after-lunch water.  Okay, so, limoncello…Noel drinks some.  He does some kung-fu moves.  Espresso martini…Kate says I like to have three of those.  Sandi has…says I had it once, and I gave away all my jewelry to strangers.

 

Yan; mint, rose, and lime, passion fruit, vanilla, cocoa powder, bubbles…relying on instinct, she says, ‘cause again, the cocoa powder…same with Stacey; she said it’s gonna be a problem.  When Yan says I’m gonna rely on instinct, Prue makes this face.  Steven; cannoli base…is that what it says?  Cannoli-based ricotta, traditional base.  Don’t play with the classics, man.  Sophie; my own spin…so, I’ve never been more aligned with a baker breaking the rules than this.  I watch this with my daughter, too.  We’re in full agreement that we would have Sophie’s cannolis first, ‘cause she does mascarpone, mas…however you say that, mascarpone instead of ricotta.  They say, what?  Why?  Paul especially.  Texture’s nicer.  Sigh, Paul says.  That’s unusual.  Not that word…gelatin, too.  A little twist.  But Sophie’s confident.

 

I say yeah, that’s the one thing that…I can’t get it out of my brain, even.  Even when a cannoli doesn’t taste like…I mean, well one, it’s hard to get a good cannoli.  You gotta go out of your way so you get them when they’re right in the…at the right time, post-production.  But I don’t know.  I just said wait a second, a buttercream cannoli or whatever?  Anyway, pasta clock…I realized if you’re a traditionalist, that’s out of the ordinary.  I’m just kinda trying to say…yeah, if I go out of my way, if I’m in Italy, ricotta cannoli all the way, or if I’m at somebody’s house, or if I’m making a trip into San Fran.  Do they call it San Fran?  Frisco; that’s what you’re not supposed to call it if you’re from here.  SF…to get…to go to a proper bakery, yeah, I’ll have it.  Okay, so, half…pasta clock; halfway done.

 

Pasta rolling thin, light…one millimeters, Liam’s going for.  If it’s too thick, it’s too thick, or something.  Steven rules or gets stony.  Cut it, roll it up.  It’s hot; you could go for a child’s paddling pool right now.  Everybody layers their clothes ‘cause they’re gonna be frying in oil.  In the fryers things go.  Sophie points out you gotta seal your edges or you’ll end up with a poppadom, which other people end up with…Liam and Kate.  Folding up…Paul, Prue…Prue sits in…oh, Paul and Prue are sitting and watching.  Lake Stadler…oh, Lake Stadler and Waldorf.  Yan says oh, dear.  Block the sven…Steven; good bubbles.  Prue watches Stacey close.  Smashing.  Flings…fifteen minutes.  Filling…not as thick.  Stacey…distraction.  Yan’s shaking.  Steven lost a shell.  Noel and Stacey…I’m gonna come in; you go out.

 

He goes in to talk to her.  She leaves.  Steven watches the deep fryer.  Stacey has a mix-up with her raspberries.  Time is up.  Sweat and rags; everybody’s wiping their brow, basically.  Flames, drive, carex.  Flumers, drove, cannolis…some…I don’t know.  Something down your cannolis.  Stacey; is that not meant to be?  Bubbles good.  Tiramisu and cheesecake good, but doughy.  Chewy, underdone, like Hollywood Fingers, Noel says to Paul.  Liam; great shell, bubble…pouring out.  Lemony, delicious, or something delicious.  I can’t read my writing.  I think it’s the lemon cheesecake.  Very good.  Sensational.  Steven; bubbles perfect.  Love the flavor.  Uncutters…lovely.  Unctuous, I think, Prue says.  Very sharp lemon.  Paul even rubs his jaw.  Delivers.  Very good; sharp.  Yan; bubbles?  Question mark.  Flat and thin.  Nice tartness.

 

Too tender.  Shells let you down.  Kate; they say not identical.  You have some bubbles.  A little disappointed.  Limoncello’s alright.  Delicious.  Then for Sophie they say wow, this lemon-lime, lemon-ginger is good.  I think I prefer this.  Mm, Prue says.  It works.  Very good.  Not sloppy.  Heaven.  Then they joke about Paul’s spray tan.  Then we do a talking heads sequence.  Then we have Italian music.  Everybody comes in with sunglasses.  Liam cracks up.  Seniore Prue…baking bambinos.  Lemon tart…Norell…micro cloths.  Definitely not…none of that’s right.  I have no idea…any of those words.  Baking bambinos…but basically they’re gonna make this classic thing; pizza Margherita.  Infornare.  Bread with cheese on top…table talk…they think it’s easy.  It’s not…doesn’t think it’s hard.  Red, white, and green.

 

Basil at the end…basil at the end…basil…basil?  Is that what they say?  Basil versus basil.  Tougher than they think.  200 grams of flour.  Gotta have that…chewy but crispy.  Kirk and Prue vowers…oh, so they have to knead and then prove their bread.  Liam; time…tomato sauce…Liam kisses for sun…oh, he gets kisses on his cheeks from Sandi and Noel.  They love him.  Sandi does not like suave.  Stacey does not like suave.  Kate’s finger…Sandi helps.  It’s hot in this tent.  Halfway…Leaning Tower of Pizza; falling.  Thirty centimeter base.  No rolling pin.  No Liam and Yan…all try tossing.  Yan’s gets too elastic.  She has to reprove.  Yan and Noel…you could be my pizza.  Thirty minutes.  Yeasted flat breads, mozzarella, torn, Kate says.  Big versus small pieces.  Pizza peel trouble.  Over ten minutes.  Liam, Kate can’t get it off.

 

Disaster.  A lot of trouble with the pizza peel.  I’ve been there, holy cow.  Pizza peels are hard to work with.  Even…I mean, that’s why I think you have to parbake.  I don’t see any other way.  I’ve tried it.  Yan; prove ten minutes.  Toss…success.  Farm…Oregon.  Everyone forming self?  Liam and Noel…pizza looks good.  Kate or somebody willing their pizza to cook.  The end.  So, Liam; cooked on bottom.  Nice and soft in the middle.  Well-flavored.  Nice pizza.  Sophie; a little thick.  More English style, but not bad at all.  Kate; disaster.  Not nice to eat.  Stacey; cheese too chopped up, too thick.  Under-seasoned.  Steven looks good.  Love them, or something.  Yan; under-baked, so they go worst to best.

 

Kate, Yan, Stacey, Sophie, Liam, Steven, and then we go to the talking heads and the showstopper, but let’s run through the show for a little while here.  Okay, here we go.  Alright, so, we got the thing.  Sandi’s tossing.  She’s got some olive oil, some flour.  Need some skills today.  What are you doing?  Paul’s teaching me how to toss.  He is an expert.  Doesn’t come down.  Anyway, it’s Italian Week.  Lands on Noel’s head…first time.  Temperatures to match.  Boiling…Sicily’s favorite street foods.  Classic; that’s not simple.  The most complex of Italian pastries.  Oh, then they’re in Berkshire to Venice, but they’re not moving.  I think Sandi’s having maybe some ice cream?  Probably gelato.  Bakers go into the tent.  Gonna be the hottest day ever, maybe.  So, everybody’s already hot.  Stacey’s like, you can’t get rid of me.

 

Liam’s still riding high from…gotta crack on Star Baker, but I enjoyed it.  Yan says it’s boot camp for bakers.  Sophie says I love Italy.  Hopefully I still will.  Bonjouro, bakers.  Noel shows off his pizza shirt.  Italian stallion…more of a pony.  Fried pastry tubes…AKA, cannolis.  You have to make eighteen.  Three fillings, identical.  No mismatches.   You have two and a half hours.  Infornare.  So, they get to work.  Ja Bellissimo, Stacey says, respecting Italian food.  Tube of deep-friend pastry, ricotta sweet mixture, Prue says.  Just to make it harder, you gotta do three fillings, but you gotta get that shell right, according to Paul.  Golden brown, bubbles.  It’s characteristic of cannoli.  Luscious filling; can’t run out.  Eat it without a mess.  But it is hot, but it’s hot in Palermo.  It came up to 45 degrees, so no excuses.

 

Liam’s making his dough.  Steven and Yan are adding vinegar.  Oh, and somebody else…Sophie; 160 grams.  Can’t make a sticky mess, though.  They go to Liam.  Tell us about your cannolis.  Me doing me or something.  Narcissistic cannoli.  He goes yeah, my friends say I have a cheesy humor, so I’m making a cheesecake cannoli.  I eat a lot of Turkish food, so I’m doing a baklava.  Just doing me; that’s his thing.  Just doing me; cannoli.  Marshmallow and dark chocolate from camping…so, he’s got some flavors.  Yeah, he says I’ve been going through…and Paul says, are you…he does the high voice.  Steven; every week is Italian Week.  Family in Italy.  Grandfather’s Italian, but he can’t help me today, so I never saw him make cannoli.  Coffee and hazelnuts, almond praline and chocolate, lemon curd and chocolate.

 

He’s using a…he’s doing his lemons.  He’s got some Italian lemons.  Stacey, what are you doing?  Jam roly cannoli.  Hold the poly.  So, she’s doing custard and raspberry, lemon cheesecake, white chocolate, and something else.  New twist with the cocoa inside the shell.  How are you gonna know they’re done?  We went through that.  Prue’s got a nice, blue watch face that goes…I like that.  Just noticed that.  Everything goes in the fridge.  Probably more fridge space now that there’s less bakers.  Excellent something…cannoli…excellone…excellent.  Marshmallow, pistachios.  Kate’s Italian cocktail cannoli.  Noel, he drank the limoncello right out of the bottle. Happy hour.  Limoncello, Campari, and orange, and then the espresso martini one.  Not too much alcohol to overwhelm, though.

 

Sandi goes yeah, had a bad night with an espresso cocktail.  Yeah, there’s the flavors.  Oh, Yan’s doing amaretto rose, mint, lime, honey, and amaretto, and passion fruit and vanilla.  Also doing cocoa powder in the dough.  How are you gonna…are you get your bubbles?  Oh yeah, but I’m also relying on instinct.  One, two…two Mississippi on Prue’s look, I think.  So, then we go to Steven.  He’s working on his base.  Stacey’s working on her thickener.  Liam’s getting his…everybody’s doing the ricotta base except for Sophie.  Steven says, I don’t play around with classics.  Same with Kate; she’s kind of…don’t mess around with the classics.  She’s really draining her ricotta.  Sophie says you know what?  I gotta stand out, you know?  No ricotta.  Classics with a twist; amaretto, almonds, ginger, lemon, lime, cream, and chocolate and hazelnuts.

 

They say, and a cannoli, Paul says?  She goes yeah, the texture’s nicer.  It’s a cannoli; it’s got ricotta.  Does it have to be?  Could you make apple pie with pear?  It would be unusual.  Couldn’t do it in Italy.  You’re using gelatin as well, or gelatin?  Yeah, to thicken it up, yo.  Pasta clock…halfway through.  Everybody’s hot.  Time doesn’t change.  More rolling out is going on.  Pasta roller…yeah, make it thin and nice.  It’s a balancing act.  I know what I’m doing.  This is not…I could not be a pastry chef.  Too thin, bubbles won’t appear.  You gotta follow the rules so you don’t get stung, according to Steven.  So, he rolls his up on his forearm.  We get some outside shots, we get some shots of everybody warm.  Winner gets to lie down in a child’s paddling pool.  Everyone should.  People are sticking their heads in the fridge.

 

Paul and Prue are sitting down on a table.  Then everybody has to put layers on because it’s going to be so hot.  Don’t want to get splashed.  More rolling.  Let’s do it.  Into the fryers, out of the…you know, out of the hand, into the fryer.  Steven’s got his watch.  He’s timing things.  Just hope they don’t separate.  Sophie just wears a sleeve; she has some sort of apron sleeve, which is probably smart, too, so she doesn’t get too warm.  Some come off the mold because they didn’t seal them like Sophie just said earlier.  Tough to tell if they’re done with the cocoa.  Deep frying, doing it by the color.  Everything okay?  Yan’s like, this is not good.  One broke that looked good.  It is really hot.  I could block the sun; that would be great.  I’ll put a call in to the moon.  Thank you.

 

Making bubbles…Steven’s look really bubbly, like…and Stacey’s working hard.  Steven’s working on his fillings.  Yan’s working on her fillings.  Espresso, chocolate, lemon, cheesecake, it’s all coming together with fifteen minutes.  No one’s filling yet, but this is just the edit, you know.  Then piping bags are getting ready, and hot liquid.  Top…everybody’s rushing.  Kate’s had some issue with something.  Yan’s shaking a bit.  One short.  Ten minutes…people are feeling the pressure here.  Steven’s making one more.  Stacey; I’m coming in…oh, I’m going out.  She’s putting hers in the fridge.  Tube fell off.  Steven’s upset.  Everybody’s trying to get the finishing touches on, but one minute left.  Sixty seconds.  Make it count.  You can do it.  Steven’s gotta do one more that he just took out.  Stacey had a little mix-up, so she’s stressed.

 

Everything is coming together slowly.  Time’s up.  Everybody’s hot, oh-so hot.  Stacey’s upset.  Mine look a mess.  Get some outside shots, a drone shot.  Now they face the judgement of Paul and Prue.  Hi, Stacey.  Okay, what’s going on with these?  They’re mixed up.  Yeah, I put some raspberries on the wrong ones.  Okay…it’s a tiramisu one.  Great flavors.  Chocolate one’s good, but the…it’s too doughy.  Chewy.  It’s underdone.  Pastry dough started off brown, so it’s difficult to tell when it’s fried enough.  You could rename them Hollywood Fingers.  Liam; just doing me.  Great shell, beautiful bubbles.  The marshmallow flows out a little bit too much.  Not a great choice for filling.  Lemony one’s delicious.  Very good.  Pistachios, walnuts, ricotta…sensational.  Cheers.  Steven; bubbles are perfect.  They bite into it.

 

Love the flavor.  Praline good, mocha…unctuous, lovely.  Lemon curd…Paul…very sharp.  Rubs his jaw.  It is sharp, Prue says.  Delicious.  Italian lemons.  Well done.  Yan; cannoli cocktails.  They look flat.  Not much activation.  Pastry’s thin.  Nice tartness in this rose one.  Amaretto…fell apart.  Pastry’s too tender.  Shouldn’t squish that hard; it fell to pieces.  Cocoa fooled you into thinking it was ready.  Kate; happy hour cocktail cannoli.  They’re not identical.  Some are shorter.  Bubbles…then they put in the espresso martini one.  Not very alcoholic.  I’m disappointed; thought there would be more.  Limoncello…alcohol’s alright.  Negroni, orangey, ricotta…delicious.  Then they go to Sophie’s; lemon-lime, ginger…we went through the flavors.  She said, I just prefer the mascarpone.

 

It’s gonna be interesting to see how it set and everything.  So, they cut it.  Everybody else is watching.  Real test here.  Paul bites in.  Prue bites in.  Nothing to say.  Paul thinks…okay, mm.  Does it pour down…holds…good.  Might have converted me.  It’s not sloppy, Prue says.  Almond amaretto’s heaven.  You got a dryness coming through.  Three very good cannolis.  If I was on the streets on Sicily, I’d be happy.  Then Noel says maybe you could get a spray tan in that color.  Thank you very much.  We see some ducks and ducklings.  Sophie’s like, that went better than I thought.  Steven was happy that he played with his jaw.  Yan’s feeling the pressure.  Every challenge counts.  Stacey; very, very stressful.  Then we have everybody with their bakes…sunglasses…sunglasses come off.  Liam cracks up.  Ciao, bakers.

 

Seniore Prue…baking bambinos; that’s what I said…that’s what I couldn’t…judges, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave the tent.  Paul’s in a mime class.  Prue’s working on a novel.  Italian classic pizza.  Margherita…perfectly made.  Hour and a half only.  Infornare.  Okay, I don’t know what a pizza is, Liam jokes.  Bread, cheese on top.  What’s the worst that could happen?  We have table talk.  Well, everybody thinks this is easy, Prue says, but yeah, you gotta get it right.  You gotta stretch it ‘cause you want it really thin.  No rolling pin.  A bit of throwing in a traditional way.  Got the colors…Margherita basil at the end.  You gotta get it cooked crisp on the outside, soft in the middle.  Another drone shot.  Everybody’s working on their dough.  Need…not really sure.  Everybody’s like, okay.

 

Magro is thin in Italian, and bellissimo means beautiful.  Croccante means crispy.  Everybody’s waiting…kneading their dough.  It’s so hot, they might not need a proving drawer.  Setting their timers.  Liam, you playing a video game?  Tomato sauce…it just says make it, so everybody’s trying to figure out what goes into it.  Garlic, lemon juice…then they kiss Liam.  Stacey; not sure on the garlic.  Tomatoes…everybody puts it in their frying pan.  Lemon juice…when do you add the lemon juice?  At the end?  Then put some sugar in to balance it out.  Stacey’s not sure on the flavor.  Kate has to get a little tape on her finger.  Everybody’s looking.  She’s laughing; she comes back.  Noel and Sandi are there to cheer her up.  Bakers, you’re halfway through pizza delivery time.  Leaning Tower of Pizza, okay.

 

Shape and toss thirty-centimeter base.  Gotta get that right.  No rolling pin.  What?  Sneaky Prue.  Of course there’s no rolling pin; freehand.  That’s the point of the tossing, right?  But could fall.  They try to peer-pressure Liam into tossing his.  Steven’s flattening his out.  Sophie’s doing hers with…by hand.  Okay, come on, Liam, toss it.  He’s like, okay.  He does it twice, but he’s like, no way, dude.  Stacey is doing it.  Yan actually tries, but actually makes her have to reprove it, which is not good ‘cause it takes up a lot more time.  Everybody but Yan’s having fun with the tossing, ‘cause she had to reprove her bread.  A bit overworked.  Okay, then another shot.  Thirty minutes.  People are drinking water, still overheating.  Yeasted flat breads; call it pizza.  Thirty minutes to finish your pizza.  Here we go.

 

Mozzarella should be torn, in my opinion.  A little bit of basil on top.  But Liam’s the one person that says I gotta put it in later.  Then you gotta get your pizza in the oven, but you should decorate it on the peel.  But I don’t know.  Liam gets his in no problem, or maybe that was…yeah.  Ten minutes.  Sophie’s got in.  Kate is…does not get in.  It’s stuck on the peel and falls apart.  Everything comes off.  Beyond a disaster.  Fifteen minutes left.  Everybody…Yan’s like okay, you can do it.  She’s still rolling hers out.  So, she’s thirty centimeters, but again, she does…makes the same mistake and doesn’t…decorates it before she puts it on the peel.  So, she has trouble getting hers off.  Everybody’s still talking about the heat.  Liam’s pizza looks really good.  Stacey’s looks good, but…and Steven’s looks good.  Sophie’s looks good.

 

Yan and Kate’s are having issues.  Stuff comes out of the oven.  Some people put their basil on after it came out, but not in the oven.  Stick them behind your photo.  Be proud.  Kate’s…wants hers in the bin.  Paul and Prue want to see a classic Margherita.  So, they start with Liam’s.  Very nice, cooked on the bottom.  It has…passes the hang test.  Tastes good, beautiful flavor.  Well-flavored dough.  Nice pizza.  Sophie’s; a little thick, more English rather than Italian.  Got some tang.  Nice tomato, not bad at all.  Then Kate; a little bit of a disaster.  Had trouble getting in the oven, basically.  So, not really cooked all the way.  Then Stacey’s, they say the mozzarella’s chopped up too much, so it’s lost in the passata.  It’s a little thick, under-seasoned.  Not exciting.  Steven; this looks good, looks good.

 

Round, nice basil, nice char on the edge.  Flavors are there.  Tomato’s good.  Then they go to Yan’s.  That one’s under-baked, undercooked.  But overall, you could eat most of them.  Then they do the judging.  Kate’s got stuck on the peel.  Yan; under-cook, misshapen.  Stacey; fourth, Sophie; third.  It was tricky between first and second.  Second spot’s Liam.  Well done.  Very good.  Nice pizza.  That leaves Steven.  Wonderful.  Right amount, scant topping, flavor lovely.  Well done.  Everybody applauses.  Okay, I went off intuition.  Liam says I gotta get in the pizza business.  Kate’s like, yeah, well, it went wrong.  Yan; that didn’t go to plan.  Gotta keep myself safe.  We see a outside shot.  We see a moth, a flower.  We see the bakers walking in for the next day.  Last chance for a winning impression on Paul and Prue.

 

Showstopper…one more attempt to keep your place in the tent.  Table talk…Steven smashed it.  He had the best pizza, so he’s coming back.  Liam is vying for Steven at the top.  Stronger and stronger.  Sophie, who’s in trouble…Kate, Yan…Yan’s in real trouble.  Stacey’s kinda in the middle.  Steven says she’s like the John McEnroe of baking, so I guess she has even more of a temper than they show on there.  When you get flustered, you make mistakes.  They say okay, welcome to your second day here in sunny Italy.  Your showstopper; the judges want you to make shell-shaped sfogliatelle.  Sfogliatelle, sfogliatelle…like rustling leaves.  Flaky pastries, twenty-four.  They’re supposed to look like lobster tails.  Four and a half hours, infornare.  So, everybody gets to work here.  Fifty grams of sugar…I gotta do well today.

 

Quarter final.  Sfogliatelle was developed 200 years ago.  It’s like a filo pastry, akin to a lobster tail.  Cracks in your mouth, should have a luscious filling.  Twelve…oh, twelve of one flavor, twelve of another.  Biggest mistake is not building layers.  They’ll fall apart.  It’s a very delicate process.  Even Paul…like, Prue…Paul and Prue are like, this is a tough one.  Probably the most complex we’ve ever done.  Steven says you’ve gotta leave this to the pros.  So, he’s…does…boiling his lemons for an hour.  He uses Sicilian lemon marmalade, chocolate and orange.  They say, what’s the hardest part?  He goes, getting the flair of those leaves.  I’ve researched it.  People say don’t bother if you don’t have three days, and you have three hours.  Complex, challenging.  Steven even gets mad; he goes, you picked it.

 

Don’t be laughing, Paul, or Prue.  Sophie’s making her…everybody’s putting semolina and ricotta, folding in the chocolate.  Yan’s up.  Tell us about our sfogliatelles from my trips to Canada, Women’s World Cup.  These lemon-blueberry scones we would eat…and the other one’s gonna have bacon dust, bacon praline.  How come you go to Canada?  Well, my wife was offered a job there, but we’re Londoners through and through.  Liam’s also doing a maple pecan, but he’s gonna skip the bacon since Yan’s already doing it.  He’s switched it up.  He’s got a unique fake ice display, so he’s ready for that.  His grandad used to deliver seafood to restaurants.  So, he goes, I like having a personal aspect.  Stacey starts on the pasta machine, which you gotta do…to make twenty-four sfogliatelle, you need fourteen meters of pastry.

 

Like, flat, flat pastry.  Labor-intensive…if it tears, you gotta start over.  It’s gonna be a beast.  Can’t be rushed.  Liam’s like Yan, you okay?  Then you have to roll it up.  That’s what forms the leaves, spreading lard over it to get the flaky crunch, stretching it out to make a massive sausage.  So, you gotta gently stretch it.  If you make a hole, oh boy.  Takes hours and hours.  Massive technical showstopper, Prue says.  This is hard.  They say, have you had this before, Kate?  She goes no, I’ve heard about it, though.  So, she does dark chocolate and hazelnuts and lemon and tahini, so a savory one, huh.  She says, I gotta take a risk.  Prue likes that; she nods.  Sophie’s doing a mango and passion fruit and then a cherry almond chocolate.  Just want to get the pastry right.

 

They say, Stacey, your pastry is starting to look like underwear.  They have a laugh.  Tell us about your sfogliatelle.  Citrus and sultanas and then praline cream.  Already made the praline, so…creme pat.  I’m gonna put some creme pat in there, some choux pastry to puff up and fill it.  But it could be tough with this heat and the oven and the timing.  She practiced it ten times.  Nine times it did not work.  Two hours in, it’s still hot.  Very Italian.  Temperature; forty degrees.  Rising heat…sticky, not great for making stuff or rolling wafer-thin pasta.  Butter’s melting, ruining the pastry.  Some is beyond repair.  Splitting in hot…but Sophie’s like a machine.  Then Stacey talks about…you know, in school, they always said I didn’t concentrate.  I had potential.  I said, that’s like me.  Stacey and I are similar.

 

Then you have to start cutting your pasta.  Steven’s measuring his out.  Moment of truth as you cut it to see if you have layers, which is…what do they call that?  I don’t know.  I forgot.  Lamination.  Lamination is baker talk for multiple layers.  They talk about it now…no lamination.  Not good.  Ugliatelle, Yan says.  They say okay, do these look like lobster tails?  Well, I have a pet lobster.  Nothing to see here.  Stacey’s filling her choux pastry one.  You want to make sure they’re even in size, not uneven.  Don’t talk to me about yours, Liam.  Yan says I gotta do this no matter what.  Noel says, I can always step in for you, put your apron on.  She goes, that’s nice of you.  Then we see a outside shot.  It’s still warm.  Steven has his on a ice bath to keep them cool.  Kate’s like, mine are melting as I’m putting them together.

 

Stacey’s like, this is melting.  Very frustrating.  Liam’s having trouble putting his together.  Paul’s watching him.  He goes, he’s watching me on the one I messed up.  You gotta be kidding me.  He goes, go look at my other ones in the fridge.  Come on man, please.  He says, such a wind-up merchant.  Then Paul’s standing behind him, messing with him.  We see birds and the bees.  Thirty minutes in Italian.  Yan’s falling behind, puts hers in the freezer.  Not worth the calories…is paranoid.  Sophie says if I’m…you don’t want Prue saying that.  Everything goes in the oven; fifteen, twenty minutes.  As the fat cooks, the layers will spread apart.  Everybody’s like, oh boy.  Sixteen minutes left to put them in the oven for Yan.  Everybody else is watching their ovens.  No lamination.  No lamination?  I’m not laminated, Noel says.

 

Not the end of the world; I’m having a great time.  Everybody’s watching.  Stacey doesn’t want to look at hers ‘cause she’s worried.  Ten minutes…not enough time for Yan to get hers done.  She says no, god, no.  Everybody’s checking.  Hottest day of the year.  Putting the gloves on, taking it out of the oven.  So, Steven’s come out, Liam’s come out, Stacey’s come out.  I don’t even know what I’m looking for.  Crappy Italia, Stacey says.  Choux pastry puffed too much.  Very depressing.  Kate says I don’t know, my filling does taste great.  Stacey says I have the best filling.  Then she’s trying to put hers in a thing.  Everybody’s watching her for like, a two-minute sequence, trying to inject her filling and saying come on, and getting stressed.  At least yours are cooked, Yan says.  Pastry cream leaking out…shooting out.

 

Prue is watching, shaking her head.  This is the only reason I did this choux pastry, was to put the creme pat inside of it.  Three, two, one; one minute left.  Yan’s are still in the oven, based on the edit.  Putting on extra icing sugar for Stacey to try to cover it up.  Everybody’s upset, and that’s the end.  Steven sighs.  Let’s have an espresso martini.  Let’s get out of this hot tent, so they sit outside, breathing and talking and sweating.  Then we go back for the judging.  Everybody’s sitting with their presentations.  Judgement time.  The judges come out.  Liam goes first.  He’s got his nice presentation and they say, that’s very creative.  Love that.  Lobster tails on ice.  Amazing to look at.  He smiles.  Inconsistent in size.  Great lamination, great layers.  Pecan and maple’s delicious.  Orange comes through on the other one.

 

Hell of an achievement.  Steven’s up next.  His are in a basket.  They zoom out from those.  They say jeez, these are a proper showstopper.  Lobster tail, lamination, style.  Steven says come on, substance.  Style box ticked.  They open his up and they say okay, and substance.  So, Steven’s happy.  Delicious ginger, lemons; really Italian.  Flaking…pastry’s perfect.  Authentic.  You could sell them in Italy.  Sophie’s up.  Classics…great lamination.  Classic lobster tail.  Intricate.  Cherry’s good, nice bitterness.  That works.  Like crisp leaves…chewing it, you get quite a showstopper.  Then Kate’s flavor fusion.  Disappointed in the way they look.  This was supposed to be a proper showstopper presentation.  It doesn’t look like you’re proud of them.  Problem with the lamination.  Look like they’ve been sat on.

 

Hazelnut and chocolate, tahini and lemon’s quite pleasant.  If you close your eyes, you’d say this is great.  Yan goes.  I’m not getting much lamination.  Maple and bacon’s…flavor’s lovely.  Consistency’s quite doughy.  Creme pat…these are quite raw.  Blueberry…you’re disappointed in a way we’re disappointed too.  Bit of a mess.  Total mess.  Stacey goes.  They look at hers and they say…[inaudible]…lamination’s poor.  Too much icing sugar.  Normally yours looks good.  Citrus and raisin…the filling’s good.  Right degree of sweetness.  Very runny for a creme pat.  You were too ambitious and it burst out, and then you got some raw dough.  But I know you were trying something difficult, but everyone’s in the same boat.  Sorry.  She goes, I agree.  Then we zoom up, we go to another shot of fields and flowers and the tent.

 

We go to table talk.  Old money…it was close to 100 degrees in the tent.  It was the hottest you worked.  Hong Kong in July, un-air conditioned.  Paul says I worked in a bakery, fifty degrees, in shorts.  Noel says I was a fire juggler on a volcano, but I got on with it.  Okay, who’s on top?  Steven, Sophie were skillful.  Liam was a little tardy in size.  Lamination, though.  So, one of them.  Who is in the danger zone?  Yan.  She didn’t achieve any lamination.  Undercooked.  A heap of things wrong.  Struggled all weekend.  Kate is there as well; hideous.  Stacey; not worth the calories.  My ultimate test.  Then we go out.  Everybody’s nervous.  We get zooms on people’s faces.  They walk out, and Sandi does the announcing.  Fantastic…she’s trying to be really cheery.  She gets to give Star Baker.  This was a really tough challenge.

 

I get to do the pleasure of Star Baker.  The person who brought the flavors bursting into our mouths, laminate perfection, the Star Baker is Steven.  Everybody claps.  This was a hard one for me, this loss.  This was one of my favorite people.  Noel has the terrible job of announcing it.  It just feels like somebody I actually know in my personal life, so I was rooting for her the whole time.  So, I guess I would say I’m gutted, because Yan has to go home.  I’ll always have basil the veg.  Okay.  Stacey; I thought it was me.  Prue says, I know you did.  It was close.  There’s a lot of hugs.  Yan says, amazed at how far I came.  Difficult, tough, amazing experience.  It’s been the best.  Makes me emotional.  So sorry.  It’s okay.  Wonderful adventure.  Totally wonderful.  Poor Yan, Prue says.  Everybody loved her.  Nobody wants to see her go.

 

Kate’s still in shock, she says.  I’m super excited, but upset for Yan.  Stacey’s gobsmacked.  Gobsmacked…I almost fainted.  Shocked to my core.  Steven; well done.  Style and substance.  Floating on that cloud again.  I think…Liam says I got all the…so far.  It’s mad, mad…he says mad like, five or six times.  One, two, three, four, five, or six.  Four…five, and then…Sophie’s proud and shocked.  Then let’s just run through my notes here.  Mot…flower world on last chance showstopper.  One more attempt to keep place in the tent.  Table talk…Steven, come back.  Liam and Sophie…spot on.  Kate, Yan, trouble.  Stacey…John McEnroe.  Hot temperature rise…fluster, more fluster.  Bonjourno.  Shell shape…this loft leaf…this is…and perfectly flaky.  Four and a half hours.  Infornare.

 

Akin to a lobster tail…twelve and twelve.  Milkshake to not building layers.  Even Paul struggled.  Most complex…leave it to professionals.  Boil lemons for hour.  Marmalade…getting that flair of leaves.  Three days to bottom.  Don’t smile; you picked this, Steven says.  Sfogliatelle.  Tell us…Yan; Women’s World Cup, lemon blueberry scones, maple bacon.  Londoners through and through.  Liam switches it up…orange rum raisin, fake ice lobster tails.  Grandfather delivery…personal.  Stacey; machine.  Fourteen meters of destiny.  No tax.  No taxi.  Labor-intensive.  Can’t be rushed.  Fun leaves…spread the lard, stretch it out.  One…measure…sansing.  Why not technical showstopper?  Purely hearsay.  Lemon and tahini.  Oh…risk.  Prue nods.  Sophie; cherry almond chocolate.  Underpants?

 

Citrus and sultanas, praline cream, extra choux paste inside.  Nine out of ten did not.  Two hours in hot forty-degree…rising heat…sticky, butter melting.  Sophie was machine.  Stacey talking about schools and teachers, and moment of truth; start shaping.  Wheel of lamination.  Bake talk, multiple layers going on…pet lobster.  Sophie talking to self…Yan; I’ll wear you…your apron.  Won’t on my parking…hot ice bath…melting heck.  Makeshift Paul…catch Liam…flop…look in fridge.  Such a wind-up merchant.  Liam…lot…not worth the calories.  Don’t want to get that from Prue.  In-oven music.  Fifteen to twenty minutes.  Come on, babies.  Yan; just don’t know.  Kate laying on flavors by oven…laying on floor by oven.  Yan; no lamination.  I’m not laminate; I’m having a good time.  Waiting…sighs…ten minutes…Yan; no time to bake.

 

Out of the oven.  Music…stressful gig.  Crappitelli.  Dempsy…filling tastes great.  Get in.  Everyone watches Stacey.  At last, yours are cooled.  Distant to distant to distant.  One minute left.  Out of the hot tent.  Outside; everyone talking, stressed, sitting…then sitting inside.  Judgement time.  Liam; smile.  Morning delivery.  Insulation…in size…good lamination.  Delicious. Flavor lovely.  Hell of an achievement.  Steven; proper showstopper.  Style box ticked and substance delivers.  Pastry so perfect.  Well done.  Sophie; great lamination.  Classic lobster tail.  Nice bitterness.  Crisp leaves.  Quite a showstopper.  Kate; disappointed in look.  Laminates…probable sat on.  Tahini and lemon; quite pleasant.  Yan; not much lamination.  Flavor lovely.  Quite doughy.  Dough raw.  We are a disappointed mess.

 

Stacey; Prue…laminating poor.  Too much sugar.  Like filling.  Everyone is in the same boat.  Table talk.  Closes in to old money.  100 degrees.  Prue; Hong Kong in July.  Sophie, Steven…good place.  Skillful Liam.  A little tardy on size.  Danger zone Yan.  Struggled all weekend.  Kate as well.  Stacey…not worth the calories.  Utilized tear…wait…stress…here’s Sunday first.  Sandi first, trying to be cheery.  Star Baker’s Steven.  Noel; leaving us, Yan.  Says oh, my god.  She says that before she says who’s leaving.  Yan, I’m sorry.  We will always have basil the veg.  Stacey; I thought it was me.  Saw it on your face.  So yeah, this was again just a rough week for me because I was really rooting for Yan.  I mean, this is one…I’m rooting for everybody, but Yan and Liam are my…you know, I like Steven, Sophie, Kate.

 

Stacey reminds me of my sister a little bit, so…but Yan, Liam, and then…oh, you want me to rate everybody?  I mean, if…my opinion of who I feel closest to or rooting for the most; Liam, Yan, but she’s not on anymore, Steven, Kate, Sophie, Stacey.  But that’s not who…that’s not…that’s based on how I feel and not exactly who I think is the best.  It’s who I’m rooting for, which is always different.  ‘Cause it’s like, in sports, you…if you rooted just for the best…the team you thought was the best, it’s different than the team you feel…you’re rooting for.  So, yeah, I’m sorry to lose Yan, but we’ll be back next week.  Goodnight, everybody.  I hope you’re in a bed of pillowy Italian pastry.  Goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(www.leahtranscribes.com)

Notable Language:

• H-O-T-E- Hot
• Rook Carp for Baker
• Crapiatelle

Notable Culture:

• “Call Me By Your Name (Montero)” – Lil Nas X
• John Denver
• Polar Seltzer

Notable Talking Points:

• The best booker of assemblies
• Liam gets kisses on his cheek
• That dough looks like underpants