1052 – Pastry Week | Great British Bake Off to Sleep Ep6
- Life of Pi / Life of Pie
- Stunning Shortcut Signatures
- Proper Prue Pat
- Party of Five
- The Superfriends
- Cristiano Ronaldo
Notable Talking Points:
- One foot in a particle collider and one foot in a particle accelerator
- The more you fiddle, the tougher it gets
Episode 1052 – Pastry Week | Great British Bake Off to Sleep Ep6
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls; hello, bakers. Hello baked goods, and hello patrons. It’s time…goodnight, patrons. Hello bakers, goodnight patrons. It’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast you make possible to put you to sleep. Thanks, patrons.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be thoughts on your mind you’re thinking about about the past, the present, or the future. It could be feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally, it could be physical sensations, it could be changes in time or temperature or routine, it could be something else.
I hear from a lot of listeners and a lot of different stuff, but one thing a lot of us share…and if this is your first time listening, it’s important; is there’s someone out there that can relate to what you’re going through, but there’s also a lot of people that have felt something similar of how it feels underneath whatever’s keeping you awake, or how it feels to be going to bed. So, I just want you to know that there’s hundreds of thousands of people listening right now, and a lot of them really know how it feels, too. So, you’re not alone. This weird digital thing…and it’s kinda trite me saying it, but it’s also important. So, whatever’s keeping you awake, I’d like to try to take your mind off of it eventually, I guess, ‘cause I keep bringing it up right now…take your mind off of it and help you fall asleep, or let you fall asleep or carry you off into dreamland.
Technically, I won’t; I’ll be carrying you off while you fall asleep. I never thought about that, but it’s…maybe that’ll be the analogy for tonight’s episode, carrying a sleeping baby or child. Oh boy, what a wonderful image. Probably this podcast isn’t quite at that level, but let’s start off with a couple things. The way I do it is I try to create a safe place, like I said. I try to smooth it, I try to pat it, I try to rub it down, I try to make it look inviting and give you the space you need, invite you in or invite you to look at it from afar and then say well, I’m comfortable over here. I’d say, I’m the only person if I threw a party and invited everyone I knew, to quote the Golden Girls, you would see…you could stand all by yourself with glee and you wouldn’t even have to pretend you’re full of glee, because the…a card attached to the invitation to the party would say thanks for being a friend.
By the way, you could come and stand around on your own, and this would be the one place, because it’s an imaginary place, you could just stand around by yourself. You say, this is…wow. This is…well, you say well, it’s an imaginary…it’s a safe place I created, and a party where the card attached…but where you’d say, thanks for being a friend. No pressure at all. No pressure to be a friend by the constraints foisted upon us by the Friendship Institute or whatever, or by the Super Friends. I never realized…I’ve got so many tangents in this one…never realized…are you all bragging? Super Friends? I mean, I’m…I have trouble just being…yeah. So, wow. I didn’t…say holy cow, I hope you have super powers, ‘cause probably that’s what it would take. So, if you’re new, you may already be confused.
You may be frustrated, you may be skeptical. Those are all very, very, very normal reactions to this podcast, because it is very different. It does take a few tries to adjust to, and it just doesn’t work for everybody. Even for the people it works for, the hundreds of thousands of people have told me, it took two or three tries to get…realize this podcast…you don’t really get used to it; you just kinda forget you’re listening. You listen and you forget about it at the same time, just like that party. I forgot I was at a party because I was so comfortable just being myself on my own. Then all of a sudden I found myself partying, but in my own way that was comfortable for me. The people out…there’s people that might not get that.
I think most people that listen to this podcast do, but you say yeah, that’s my kind of party, man. It could be…’cause it could be any kind of party. If there’s no pressure to party, count me in for partying. I party…my shirt would say…some people say…shirts say party ‘til you this or I party for that. Mine would say I…if it’s optional, I party. If there’s no pressure or expectations, I may party, I may not party. I may party as a party of one, I may party as a party of five or more or less. But will I party? I don’t know, because this shirt is so long, we’ve run out of ink and spaces to print words. But if that’s a party and I’m invited, there’s a possibility I may or may not be there or I may be there in spirit or I might forget about it, or I may have decided not to go because everything else I said in this shirt didn’t apply at that time based on how I was feeling.
Your friend, when they saw that shirt, or they saw you two weeks later, they said oh, missed you at the party. Totally get it. I read your shirt; great. Then you could just move on with your relationship. There we go; there’s one of the great…they say, did Scooter ever…other than helping people fall asleep, did he ever solve any of the world’s great problems? They said he did, but it put every…caused…they stopped making t-shirt…printing t-shirts because he broke the entire t-shirt economy. How? Too many words. It was…became another conundrum where all t-shirts ceased to exist. It was one of those weird time-space things. Also, he also had one foot in a particle collider and one in a particle accelerator and he was trying to silkscreen…he was trying to do silkscreen at the same time, so we think that’s what happened.
No more t-shirts on Earth. Who would have thunk it? Okay, so…oh, if you’re new, this podcast is very different. It’s a podcast you don’t really listen to. You may have already figured that out. You just kinda passively listen. Now, you can listen; I’ll be here to the very end if you can’t sleep, but listening’s kinda optional, a bit like background noise, upgraded background noise. I also don’t put you to sleep. I keep you company while you drift off, just like that idea of a parent carrying a child; sometimes the child’s not asleep. They fall asleep while they’re being carried. It’s not so much you’re putting them to sleep; you’re carrying them and you’re enabling them to fall asleep. I don’t think I’m doing that grand a thing. I’m more trying to carry your thoughts or whatever, feelings or physical sensations for a little while so that you could fall asleep.
So, same sense…same sense of caring, too. That’s really what drives the show. You’re important. Your sleep is important, and those kind of things deserve to be carried. You deserve to be carried in this sense. You deserve a safe place where you could fall asleep, a bedtime you don’t dread that you could look forward to or feel neutral about. If that’s…if I can be a part of that or building a bedtime routine and the podcast is just one tiny piece of that, that would be my honor, because what more could be important than that? If you get a good night’s sleep, your life’s more manageable. Your life can improve. That’s important to me. I’ve also, like I said, along with a lot of other listeners, been there, tossing…last night. Keeping it real, my sleep schedule; I’ve just been having these repetitive non-dreams and non-bad dreams.
So, I know how it feels there in the deep, dark night, or the frustrating, sometimes, night. Other things to know real quick is the structure of the show can really throw some people off, and the show is designed in a very specific way, but there’s a lot of ways to adjust the show as you become a regular listener. But the show does defy expectations, and not always in the best way, so I wanted to tell you if you have…if you’re like, this isn’t what I expected and I’m growing frustrated, totally get that, so let me explain some stuff to you. There’s also an option if you’re like, you couldn’t explain anything to…I say, totally. Sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, if you’re already hitting Eject on the show, totally check that out. Take that…this cassette out, check out one of the other podcasts on there.
But for…if you want to give it a few tries…like most people say, that’s how long it takes to kinda say oh, you don’t even get used to this podcast, but…so, a couple things to know; one…oh, structure of the show, yeah. So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, bakers. Maybe I said something else silly. That way you feel seen, welcome, and you know the show is a little bit goofy. Then there’s sponsor support and patron support, which is critical to the show coming out twice a week for free as opposed to just having a freemium podcast or a paywalled podcast. Anybody can listen whenever they want. Then there’s the intro…oh, then there’s support for listeners, support for the community around the show, then there’s the intro which is separate from that first chunk of stuff.
The intro…I don’t know, a lot of people say oh, there’s thirty minutes of ads or something. I say okay, not…no. The intro is like, twenty minutes of the first thirty minutes of the show, and it’s a show within a show, and it does serve a very specific purpose. The intro is to introduce new people to the show, but in a kinda long-winded, meandering way. One, to kinda give an example of how the podcast works, two, because it’s just something that’s…listeners really enjoy, and three, from everything I’ve read about sleep and sleep studies and all of the feedback I’ve gotten since 2013, it’s that people need some time to wind down. For most listeners, they…the intro kinda serves as that, as a decompression-type thing, as something that transitions you from your waking time to your sleeping time.
You could use the podcast alone for that or you could use it while you’re getting ready for bed or while you’re doing some other relaxing activities or getting comfortable. Now, there is a percentage of listeners that fall asleep or that skip the intro or that listen to story-only episodes. But for most listeners, it’s part of easing you into bedtime, and that’s really…everything about the show is built around that idea, easing you into bedtime, taking your mind off of stuff so you can drift off. I mean, it is like that parent image; no parent…I mean, unless they’re in a comedy or something, do they pick…or they’re being funny, or everybody gets in a mood sometimes, so I totally get it. Sometimes…there’s nothing wrong with…but you don’t normally pick a kid up, a baby or a child or a toddler or even an older kid, and you say okay, fall…alright, that’s it; I picked you up.
Go to sleep. You may reason with them. You say okay, go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep, or you’re bouncing them or you’re walking them or maybe you’re saying hey, let’s just…I’m gonna take you while we go for this walk here, or you may be carrying them while they’re already asleep. That is always…that’s a different one. Or you say hey, I’m just gonna carry you, and then you notice they…oh, I know you’re…it’s a combination, I guess, of holding and carrying, but sometimes you got the Bjorn or the backpack or the sling or whatever, or your good old arms, and they fall asleep. But rarely do you say yo, go to sleep. I mean, you may say that, but you…and you may mean it, but part of you knows oh, this is gonna take a little while.
It’s always easier if you’re both a little bit distracted, right, from the task at hand, even bouncing or singing or even saying go to sleep, go to sleep, go to sleep, is kinda part of that, and that’s kinda how the intro and the whole podcast works. So, I understand that people have strong objections to some of the stuff in the show, or the style of the show, but it does serve that same specific purpose, but it can be adjusted if you say well, I don’t want to use the podcast that way; it doesn’t necessarily work for me. Totally cool; if it works for you, it works for you. This is just kinda…there’s only one way to make the podcast right and distribute it in this sense. So, yeah. So, oh, so then there’s…oh, so that’s the intro. It goes on and on and on because it’s kinda familiar, it’s kinda different every time, and it helps you transition from wake time to sleep time.
Then there’s sponsor stuff. Again, it’s just what keeps the show free and coming out twice a week. Then there’s our bedtime story. Tonight it’ll be another episode of the Great British Bake Off. It’ll be more like the Great British Bore Off when I’m doing it, you know. So, I’ll be talking about…I’ll be like, Bakewell…how many times have I wondered what a Bakewell tart is? So, that’s…what do you call that? That’s the…oh, then there’s thank-yous at the end. That’s the structure of the show. That’s why I make the show. I’m really glad you’re here. Like I said, give this show a few tries and see how it goes. It doesn’t work for everybody, but for most people it works for, it takes two or three tries ‘cause it is so different, and if it doesn’t work for you, that’s okay too.
I hope you find something whether it’s at sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou or somewhere else that’ll help you sleep. But I’m really glad you’re here. I really appreciate your time. I work really hard, I yearn and I strive, and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by. When your hand hits the fridge tomorrow, here’s a couple of ways I’m able to do this for you for free twice a week.
Alright everybody, it’s Scoots here and we’re back with another Great British Baking Show, Bake Off. Just loading it up, turn down the volume…correct, volume is muted. Let’s hit this thing. What are we on here, Pudding Week or Pastry Week? Great question. We’re on Pastry Week, Scoots. Really? Well, thanks for telling me. Apparently I have too many downloads on too many devices, so…this company’s falling out of my favor ‘cause I think I…you do the auto-downloads. So, don’t blame me for your user…anyway, enough…so, it is Pastry Week. Let’s see if I can stream this. Okay, it looks like it’s getting ready to run. We got the teaser, probably, then the cold open. Let’s read through my notes for the…whatever the first thing is, not the showstopper, but the first thing. Pastry Week.
Sandi taking to talking to swans, driving a boat or steering a boat or whatever, skiffing a skiff. Noel in a tiger suit…Prue is giving a WTF from a bridge. Oh, we’re doing Life of Pi. Life of Pie, get it? It’s Pastry Week. Roll on pastry, short crust something…that was alliteration, but I don’t know. Or maybe it wasn’t. Short crust, the technical twist…short crush showstopper or something? Show-sized showstopper? That’s not right, either. Stacy falls…bit of a problem. Then there’s a sunny walk to the tent, this first day of this Pastry Week. Liam does a high voice. Two guys left, he says. That’s how I answer the phone, with that kind of voice, where my voice goes a little bit…hello? Yeah, or when somebody asks me, how do you want your hair cut? Well, I’d like it…so, Liam does that a little bit.
Liam’s young, though. I shouldn’t…I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. People always give me…they say, do you notice…and I say yeah, ‘cause you pointed it out to me 5,000 times. When you go to a…when you check into a hotel…but of course, I never remember when I check into the hotel. I say, could I also have a room not next to the elevator or the ice machine, please? Or the stairs or the people that are smoking? A non-smoking room? Yan…exact? Anxious pastry. Excellent…anxious pastry…can smell fear; pastry can smell fear, Stacy says. Pastry Week. Godfa? Gopher? Four pies, quid…astor. Quick action, I think it says. Yeah, they go quick into action. So, Sophie did not do it to time…last time. Four connected pies, they’re supposed to make. Keep fiddling and it’ll mess up the crust.
I think this is short crust pies. It’s gotta be flaky pastry, good fillings. Yan is doing four pies based on science. Noel says, nerd pie? She says, geek pie. They’re chicken curry pies…done at 400? Do they have to be at 400 degrees? No, that can’t be right, 400…’cause they don’t say 400. So, it has to be something else. Short crust is flour, butter, and lard, according to someone. Liam adds two eggs and some water, though. Julia adds some baking powder. Steven is doing two batches as well. Egg yolk…oh, one with egg yolk. Fleetwood Mac-based pies. Big Love, Storm, Songbird, and Angel. That’s from cooking with his mom and listening to Fleetwood Mac as a child. So, I got a love of baking and a love of Fleetwood Mac from that. Kate is doing Lennon, Einstein, Amelia Earhart, and…can’t read my handwriting on this one.
It looks like S-H-A-H-P-R…Shakespeare. Oh yeah, that’s how I would spell Shakespeare, so of course. She’s using the fab four vegetable pies…molds…rough molds, but she’s gonna emboss them. Pastry lemon…Yan has an equation for the perfect pie, which Sandi loves. Stacy siempre…oh, simple. Onions…love…there are love items, lots of idea…and flavors. Yan uses a vacuum sealer to marinate her meats to get the kinda flavor in fast. You gotta do low moisture, so there’s different ways of people trying to cook off their moisture. Sophie is gonna use a plunger, reverse-plunge her pie ‘cause hers is gamey. Julia is doing sausage and meat stuffing pie. She’s baking it in the pie. Grapes on a tree? That’s what she…they said she’s doing things tree-based. They say, grapes on a tree. I think Paul says that.
Then they say, you’re having things on a…you’re not having any monkeys or sloths or a small boy from a tree, or Noel? Still something…resting pastry. Don’t rest it too thick, though. The second solution sealed with eggs, maybe. Sophie; blank…oh, she’s doing blind-baked pies, which I guess means pre-baked, parbaked, maybe. One hours? Not sure what she put in the pictures. Cat simply…can’t simplify. More to cubing and shape. Time worries. Liam…his love of…second to his love of football is video games. Then he says his team is Man United, which is not Paul’s team. I don’t know what Paul’s team is. I would guess Arsenal or Chelsea, but I’m not sure where…I guess if it’s Man United, it could be Man City, Manchester City. I don’t know, ‘cause I don’t…I’m not sure.
I never remember anything like where Paul’s from. I thought Paul was from the north, though. I don’t know. Paul, not a fan of Man U. Songbird…Darwin…forty-five minutes. Running out of time. Sandi, Steven running. Thirty-five earls…not really cool. Jam and mash in pie. I’m not a wolf. I can eat raw meat. Fiddly; who knows? I’ll be fine. Glazed-over jobs. Milk wash, egg wash. Oh, that’s Noel saying he’s glazed over by Sandi. 240 degrees…even bake. Purple drinking. Pow…science pie. I hate rushing. More like Noel Gallagher. Lennon’s looking like, five minutes at 200 degrees or 190 degrees? Raw pie…desperate Dan. I don’t know…that must be a famous reference that I didn’t get. Right bakes…place your pies. Right bakers, place your pies. Rad…Steven and Kate, pastry judges.
Sophie; crispy, great choice, blind baking. Great flavor. Good balance, delicious, triumph. Pure…she gets a proper Prue pat. That’s a three-piece alliteration there. Steven…rival inadequate? Beautiful finish. Nice back, good pastry. Does not look pretty on the inside. Berries with mash; great. Julia; bold color, baking powder was a mistake. Not your best work. Dasapron…disappointed. Kate; does not look good. Boring. Soddy bottom. Green better…been better…getting better. Yan; a bit of a mess. Not even baked. Not evenly baked, I don’t think. Pastry’s delicious, though. Chicken’s dry, overcooked. Oh, bum. Liam; like the color. Looks like the done baked. Looks good; flaky. Colors…well-seasoned. Triumph. Stacy; I like the color. Well baked, well filled. Gluey, but tasting good. Nice pie.
Menan…me nan, Paul says, like a proper northern pie. So, then they do the talking heads. Stacy’s happy. Liam; decent, decent. Sophie; fine. 300 meters? Kate; first call bang. Yan; so good at hour…I can make…I can so make pie. Okay, so let’s see what really happened here on the show…get it playing. Oh wait, I’m at thirty-one minutes there. It must have been playing the whole time I was talking. Okay, yeah, five bakers…Sandi’s saying I wanted to give him a hug. Only then can you let go; that’s when she’s talking to Noel…Life of Pie. Then Prue looks down. She’s in a red raincoat on a bridge. Then we get the teaser…roll on. Shortcut…stunning shortcut signatures. That’s what I couldn’t figure out. Supersized showstopper. Wonky pie. Verge of collapse…heavy thud. Then the episode begins. Warm walk in.
Liam…I don’t mind. Just two of us gotta represent. A little bit anxious. Pastry can smell fear; that’s what…morning, bakers. I think Noel has a couple different outfits on this week. I just noticed that. Let’s see if everybody else changes clothes, too. I probably won’t remember, but…okay, so they say yeah, four gorgeous pies. On your marks, get set, bake. Everybody gets into motion. Get cracking. Butter…maximum amount of time to decorate. Quite a challenge. Gotta have good pastry practice. Individual savory pies connected through the decoration, a little bit of knifework. Create something amazing. Intricate pastry skills. Temptation…fiddling around. The more you fiddle, the tougher it gets. Crumbly…pies might look amazing but you gotta look forward to the filling. Hello, Yan. Savory pie challenge.
My pie is science based on British scientists. So, she has Hawking, Darwin, Turing, and Crick. Binary code for Turing; ones and zeroes, DNA and helix for Crick. Prue’s like wow, this is gonna take…more difficult than splitting the atom. Oh, it is 400, somebody says. Then yeah, the ingredients; flour, butter, and lard. Gotta blend them correctly. Liam’s using a rich dough. Julia’s using that baking powder. You gotta make it into a ball, but don’t work it too much ‘cause you don’t want to make gluten or something. Two batches for Steven. Fleetwood Mac…Swedish meatballs, mashed potatoes, lingonberry jam, and the songs from my favorite band. Who could guess it? Big Love, Storm, Songbird, and Angel. You’re a fan. Now I’m cooking and listening. For one baker, this is just the beginning.
Lennon, Einstein, Shakespeare, Amelia Earhart, people I find inspirational. Fresh medley…potatoes, onions, and leeks…rough molds, and then I’ll emboss them with these embossing tools. Her drawings are really fantastic. Pastry Lennon; can’t wait. The pastries are done. People are making their filling. Sausage…R squared plus R squared. This is Yan’s perfect pie equation, which cracks Sandi up, makes me really happy. Sandi’s shirt may have people’s pictures on it, or heads. Stacy’s mixing up how proud her nan would be of her love-themed decorated mincemeat, pine nut, chili, and cinnamon pies. I’m gonna color them with colored egg wash to make the lovely colors; red. Yan’s gonna use a vacuum sealer for her curry to get some flavor in the chicken. Potatoes boiling, lingonberry boiling.
Everybody’s trying to reduce their liquids, cooking up their fillings. Keep the pastry dry. Julia’s doing the raw approach; she’s gonna cook her meat in her pie. Pie from a tree, decorative pies; sausage, onion, some smoked paprika, things you find in a tree. Leaves, acorn, flower, grapes. Grapes on a tree? Oh, it’s Prue that said that. I’ve seen grapes kind of on a tree, so…that I thought was on a tree, so I don’t…Noel does live in a hollowed-out tree. Let’s get outta here before it gets even more weird. Shortcut surprise, vulnerable to liquid and from resting when it’s too thick. So, yeah. You don’t want it to get soggy. You gotta measure it. Optimum crispness. Yan’s using a scientific solution; sealing it with egg so it doesn’t leak. Sophie’s doing a blind bake. I guess with a blind bake, you put some round things in there?
‘Cause I was like, what are those round things? I don’t know what those are, but I guess it’s a part of the blind bake. You put something in there. I guess that would make sense, so it stays…it doesn’t…but I don’t know what those are; baking balls? Everybody’s working on their decorations now. A lot of cutting and…whatever you call that, plating or knitting of stuff. Ribboning, cutting out…standard FC decorative pies. There was video games, controllers, scores. Then football kits. Paul says well, it’s a shame. Says it just like that. Liam’s reaction is worth a million dollars ‘cause he finds…I love it when he’s amused. Talking about raw pastry. Is that a Danish thing or something? Everybody’s kinda working, shaping, painting, fiddling or not trying to fiddle, filling…big spoons.
Oh, then Steven’s running around and Sandi’s running after him, kind of a comedy…and filling up the pies. Twenty-nine minutes…thirty-three minutes. Not cool. Straining juice…Steven’s putting his scientific mixture of berries and potatoes together, which they say it doesn’t look good, after they eat it. If they saw it coming out, they’d even say it looks…it doesn’t look good, but I’m sure it tastes great; they say that. But he’s kind of doing another assembly. William Shakespeare…kinda getting their pies ready, tops…putting the tops on the pies. Running out of time. Coat is torn. Noel says, I glazed over…Prue glazed me in egg whites. Milk wash, egg wash, different…that’ll cause different colors in the baking. Julia’s worried about it baking through.
Gotta get them…do you put all the pies in at the same time for a even bake? Or some people do them at different times to stagger them. Yan’s like, I gotta get…make sure one is cooked so they can eat it. Everybody’s watching the oven…pow, science pie. Steven hates rushing. Kate’s just trying to get her decorations going, but not good when you’re doing art when you’re in a rush. I don’t have to pull them out at the last minute, so John doesn’t look anemic. A few minutes left. Everyone’s worried about their pies being done, turning up the heat. Keeping an eye on it…should last minute…cookie rodders browning too much. Julia’s pies…desperate Dan is on the way to separate your pies with desperate Ian and cave in…Yan’s stressed. Wanna give her a hug.
Do not that fall…alright, bakers, here’s your pie pit-stop. Place the pies at the end of your benches. Steven; I think one of his pies isn’t done. Everybody’s like…Steven’s kinda…I don’t know if he’s playing with Kate or they’re really good friends, but he was like, who was on your pie? Bakers will have their pastries judged by Paul and Prue for the first time. Sophie’s up first. Four seasons…spinach, blue cheese, butternut squash. Latticework’s nice. Milk wash…maybe it could have been longer, but they flip it over. Okay, looks good. The parbaking or blind baking was a good idea. Yeah, tastes good. I guess maybe she has the game pie later. You got the right sauce level. A triumph. Well, thank you very much…a proper Prue pat there. Congratulations. Sandi’s like, I’m gonna have another bite. Steven’s Fleetwood Mac.
Look even except for that one, the last one in. Looks beautiful, bird. Bake all the way through…perfect pastry. But pink mash; not so sure about that, ‘cause it doesn’t look cooked even though it is, but it is the star of the show taste-wise. Julia’s pies from the tree; nice bold color. Baking powder a mistake, Prue says. Cakey. Can’t take the…taste the sausage. Disappointing. Not your best work. Kate’s pies…don’t like how they look. Lost the definition. Who is that person? A bit boring. Perfectly pleasant, but you don’t think oh, this is divine. Soggy bottoms. You’ve been better than this, Kate. Yan’s pies…this looks a mess. We had high expectations. Not evenly baked. I want to make sure I gave you one, so we’ll eat this one that’s baked. It’s baked at the bottom.
Pastry’s delicious, buttery and flaky, but chicken’s dry. Pastry’s perfect. It is Pastry Week. They say yeah, but filling too. That’s where she says, bum. Then they got Liam. Like the color, like the dome. Classic. It’s baked, looks good, great filling; flaky. Wonderful colors. Pastry’s terrific. Textures are good. It’s baked. A triumph, a bit of a triumph. Keep a bit for lunch. Stacy; very clever, very neat. Like your designs. Very, very good indeed. Well baked. Pastry looks good. Well filled. Mouthful of pastry…mince is gluey. Flavor’s lovely. Mince can give out…combated that. Lovely color. Nice pie, very clever. Reminds me of my nan. Proper northern pie. Very well done. Thank you. Pies were baked…that was the result. Stacy’s happy. Liam’s playing it cool. Decent, decent.
Sophie’s like yeah, I found thirty minutes ‘cause I was thirty minutes short in practice, but when I’m focused…Kate’s like, I’ve never been called boring before. Hands down, pie was good at home, but now people think I can’t make a pie, but I can make a pie. Then we see a bird. Next challenge is wrapped in pastry. Alright, bakers, technical challenge set by Prue and Paul. Any advice? Read it carefully and never darken our tea towels again for your technical; rough puff pastry. Pasteis de nata; Portuguese tarts, twelve of them. Crispy, firm, smooth crustard…custard. On your mark, get set, bake. They all have the identical…Paul’s pared-down recipe. Custard tarts…never…people have done them with short crust, but not rough bust, which is a spiral pastry, a pasteis de nata…[inaudible] egg tart love. Why did you pick it, Paul?
My favorite bakes of all time. Lots of things can go wrong. You have to understand rough puff. Anyway, flat dough, butter, folding, chilling, folding, which creates a beautifully flaky pastry. Not as a cream. It’s the texture; it’s gotta be silky and smooth. Characteristic swirl on the bottom. Pastry on the outside, chewy in the middle. So worth the calories. Make rough puff pastry…rough puff using the dough and butter, rubbing the butter, ice cold water. Everything’s gotta be as cold as possible. Try not to use your hands, Sophie says. That way you get the right consistency. Roll out the pastry, put more butter in, roll it, and fold it and give it a turn. That creates the layers. Puffy, fluffy, chill. Gonna start to make the custard now. Heat the milk, flour, cinnamon, pared lemon.
Kate’s like, I’ve never made a rough puff. She’s talking to Sandi. No idea. It’s all under control. Sandi goes, I’m gonna put you up on some dating websites. She’s got all the qualities you’re looking for. Julia’s gonna remake her pastry, I think. People are folding and patting and rubbing it down. Julia’s never been to Portugal. Noel says I like how things are in Portugal. He says yeah, I feel self-conscious when I’m there. Sugar syrup to the mix…milk mixture. So, I think this is tempering your eggs. A lot of whisking. Slowly add the milk to the yolk so you don’t curdle them, as slowly as possible. Custard with a whisker. Never done it, Liam says. Julia’s doing it…okay. Gonna do the bake. Roll…how thick of a log do we gotta make it? So, some people are going long and some people are going short.
I mean, you gotta cut twelve pieces out of it, which kinda makes a laminated wheel. I think Noel…no, Liam and Stacy realize they did it the wrong way. I don’t…I can’t remember which way was wrong and which way was right. Oh, wide and thin you wanted it. Bigger discs puff up. Now we get to go to Portugal with Sandi. There was a magnificent monastery and…that they created, and the one in Portugal. It’s the most famous bakes, pasteis de nata. From monks to nuns to tarts. So, it was really interesting ‘cause they had these wimples which was white, and they used white egg whites to starch them, so they had tons of leftover egg yolks. That’s how these monks…I don’t know. The monks kinda came up with the idea and kinda slowly spread the layers in a tin for…flaky pastry, and why are they famous?
Well, it’s a original recipe. Dole’s…doe’s salty but sweet. Simple movement to put it in there. Sandi gets a high five. One hour left for our bakers, though. Portuguese footballer Cristiano Ronado once fired a custard tart out of a balooka…bazooka and bothered a bird. Okay, then you gotta place the puffs in a tin. You can’t over-handle them or you’ll crush the delicate layers they worked so hard to build up. So, I don’t quite understand how you do both those things. Stretching…people are trying to stretch them, or Stacy and Liam’s are a little bit too small. Some people kinda look like they are over-handling them, and no one knows if they’re doing it right. Wider or not? Julia’s really stressed. Sophie’s filling her tarts. Custard consistency is key. Silky smooth texture, pasteis de nata. Stacy’s happy with her custard.
Julia’s is too foamy. Steven’s goes in the oven, then Yan. Eighteen minutes, twelve minutes. Brown them on top. Ten minutes, Julia goes with. Liam’s watching the oven. Yan’s watching the oven. Puffy at the side…I don’t know. Looking in…fully covered, now kind of sunk. Stacy’s like, this is a disaster. They’re not spreading this when she trips. I’m having a problem. Five minutes. Present your pasteis de nata. Are these done? Maybe I should brown them on top, Yan says, put them under the grill. Liam wished they were browner. Some of these are a bit burnt. Yan’s browning hers. They get those burnt spots. Julia or Kate’s are very brown. Steven’s are brown and crisp. Somebody else…I don’t know if they’re done. Sophie says hers look awesome; they do. One minute. Another context…something I missed.
Liam’s are…Liam’s worried his are eggified. Time is up. So, bring your pasteis de nata to the table. Everybody’s like, oh boy. Paul and Prue were looking for that puff pastry swirl and smooth, creamy, lightly mottled crust…custard. Sophie’s first. Swirl; quite well-baked. Custard’s a little bit solider, but creamy. Shells make the day. Number two; these look like cupcakes. They got a swirl. Pastry’s not bad, but burnt tops. Number three; Liam. Irregular, but the coloring’s not bad. No lamination, no swirl. Stacy; half the depth. Doesn’t even look like it’s supposed to, but flavor’s good. Steven; these look good. Swirl; that’s good. Custard’s solid. Yan’s look good. Swirl, feels good, creamy. Pretty good. Pastry’s good, custard’s good. Julia; these look like short crust. Hardly see the swirl. Very rough. Not good.
So, seventh spot is Julia…short crust. Six is Stacy. She tries to hide out. Not your finest hour. Kate’s fifth, Liam; fourth, Steven; third. Second place is Sophie. First place is Yan. Perfectly cooked pasteis de nata. Custard was excellence. You got that mottle on top. Great job. Totally relieved. Takes the edge off, Yan says. Now I know my pie is good. Liam says, not top three, not bottom three. Julia’s like, I keep going up and down. I need to be more consistent. Tomorrow we see a swan. The bakers go in, but let’s go to my notes first. Mystery wrapped in pastry. Read it carefully…rough puff. Pastry…Portuguese tart, twelve smooth custard. Paul’s pared down egg tart…love pasteis de nata. Philosophy of rough puff…folding, chilling, folding, chilling. Sand or bowl them? Swirl on bottom.
Sand on bolton…crispy custard, slightly chewy with…worth the calories. Never make rough puff. Rub butter, ice cold water…keep hands out. Shredding butter, custard…Kate…not real…no idea. First chill…Portugal…good-looking, sugar syrup, milk whisking. Hot milk to egg yolk; no curdle. Never make it with…whatever. Roll dog…rectangle on log. Nice laminate wheel. Oh, sugar; rolled the wrong way. Stacy; wrong way. Portugal…so, that was the monks. Tatartis…egg whole to starch. Lots of yolks. Push turn…in time…salty and sweet. Piece of art. Getting better. Off her loft. Place each in timing bin, but don’t over-handle. Big turns…not much pastry. Who knows? Darn right. Julia; rank. Consistency is key. Silky smooth. Eighteen…twelve meters. Ten minutes on waiting. Bit puffy on its side. Sunk in…disaster.
Story tips…five minutes. Oh, Stacy trips. Five minutes. Pantheon…little gnats. Yan…brioche…no one knows. Sophie; happy. Fish tarts off…finish tarts off? I don’t know. Fish tarts off. Sophie; right cook…swirl…crunch…solid but chewy. Gooey, burnt…pastry burnt. Color…nod…bad; no swirl. That’s for Liam. Stacy; huge issues. Not at all. Steven; look better. Swirl solid. Yan; swirl looks perfect. Pretty good. Jack…there’s nobody on the show named Jack. Julia; looks…short crust…no growth, tough, not good. So, seven; Julia, six; Stacy, five; Kate, Liam, Steven, Sophie, Yan, yay. Excellent, nice. Swans quacking. Into the tent…jackets on. Table talk…Sophie, Liam…shea butter…temple. Liam’s…that’s for Star Baker. Liam and Sophie…Star Baker…Julia, Kate in trouble. Same with Stacy, too. Showstopper…hand raised.
Hot water crust. Family-sized pie. Fair high fat content. Hold its shape, Yan jokes. Has to…savory, but top with…it has to be a savory pie but topped with a glazed fruit. Must hold together like cake. Dolly your mold to create the shape. So, basically on the outside of a cake pan or a pie tin. Lard stinks as the…Liam mixes his. Sophie; game pie…liquid problem. Can’t seem wonky…can’t seem wonky pie…Xmas pie. Glazed, glittery, crandescence. Traditional recipe, but Liam…but kale and spices…Liam and Kate…turmeric crust. Floats my bolt…boat. This is mold? Very big? Kate? Question mark. Mango chilli? To there? Shaping the pie…hundred of years. Liam using a cake tin on inside. Yan’s Sunday dinners. Liam takes a risk.
So, what happens is Liam starts…so, some people have never made it before, so they say well, I’ll make it on the inside of the tin. But Paul had said well, the traditional way is making it on the outside of the tin. They say something to Liam, so he actually rethinks it, so he takes the risk. Or he says well, should I take a risk or should I stick to my guns? Should I make Paul happy? He goes for it, takes the risk. Crust, lard, hot water. Julia, Yan; they’re doing it inside the tin still. Liam changes mind. Julia does not. Yan; I’ll take the hit. She’s doing a checkerboard pie. Bang it in the freezer. Fin it up. Fillings…Julia’s making a blue cheese sauce. She’s nervous. Stacy…meat tree…curry, glazed mango. Yan and Julia; filling…press before remorse. How…hand-raised pie? Hard to get out. Crust whisperer.
Steam helps Kate…Steven helps Kate when she’s having trouble getting her pit out of the…’cause everybody has to…I think you bake it, or maybe you just chill it, and then you gotta get it out of its…it forms a shape, but obviously if you can’t get it out smoothly, then it might mess up your shape. Noel helps Liam. Stacy; distance…Stacy realized something…oh, so Stacy realized she left parchment paper in her pie after she filled it. Parchment on the bottom; not good. Not good at all. Halfway through. Julia and Yan have their moment of truth. Yan comes…Yan’s come out when they’re trying to get their pies out. Julia’s scared. Do you need help? Yes. Julia…patch…crack on her…she has to patch one crack on her pastry. Just take care of cake moment? Sigh. No lid. Stacy flopping…floppy look…over-wadding.
Sophie; taking out juices. One day you’ll crack. Noel and Sophie. You have Russell Brand’s underpants on? Julia; groggy and sharp. Maybe they won’t notice. Temperature check. Got to get to 70 degrees. Oven-watching, lots of waiting. Not bad…cooked…yeah. Steven waiting…ten minutes. Not much time left. Fruit…shimmer spray. Make it rain, baby. Yan; knifework impressive. Cute, cool. Last make…last minute…pulls out modern…you help…that is curd? High five. Stacy dislike…then they do the judging, I think? Sophie; breathe well. Well done. No liquid. Very good, but too thick on the side. Kate; looks perfect. Help well…flower lower…I love that. Just curious. Stacy; looks a mess. Not professional. Handmade…parchment in there. Tastes good. Steven; nice, lovely color.
A bit over-baked. Not much flavor. Let down. Yan; inside looks good. Stunning. Nice flavor. Fruit works. Julia; could be neater. Dry…chicken’s dry. Pastry over…underdone. Oh, asparagus is dry. Liam; holding nice colors of…well done. Succulent, juicy smoothness. Really nice. Special. Got…yes…altogether? Crazy good. Posting…something. Stacy; we’ll be judged. John; worried. Birds…table talk. Kate; she’s saved herself. Julia; un…something unity? The time…Stacy…stressful. Star? Liam. Yan, Sophie, Liam…oh, so Prue talks about how Liam’s a genius of flavor, how he always goes for it, but he also has a good sense. Then we see the birds, sitting bakers…sitting Bahamas. Then they go Star Baker, Noel, and Sandi has to say who’s leaving. But first, we’ll hit the tape here. So, bakers are walking in.
Who’s Star Baker? Well, Liam, Sophie…butternut squash, blue cheese. Pastry’s gorgeous. Who’s gonna pull out the stops to stay in? Has to. Julia…not had a good week. Kate’s in trouble. She’s been struggling the last few weeks, limping from week to week. Stacy…her savory pie was good, but terrible show…she has a terrible showstopper. Morning, bakers. Final challenge; hand-raised pie. Water crust…water and crusty. No idea, Noel? No idea. So, Noel has a sweater on. I don’t know if he has the same shirt on underneath. I think he does. On your marks, get set, bake. Hot crust water…hot watercress…melt lard with water. High fat content means it’ll hold its shape without a mold. Impressive about hand-raised pie. Yeah, I raised it like you brought it up or something, paid for its tuition, Yan says.
That’s Yan’s joking. It’s gotta be savory. Can be vegetarian with glazed fruit on the top. Powerful flavors is what Prue’s looking for, and the pie has to hold together. Hand-raised pie is a dolly or mold. You shape it on the outside around it in the shape of a pie. Lard is stinky…gotta get the flour and the butter in there, make it watertight so it’s not soggy. But Sophie’s also gonna extract hers…game pie, ‘cause there could be a lot of liquid. So she’s like yeah, I’m gonna suck it out with a syringe. Hopefully it’ll keep moist, but not too wet. Steven’s like yeah, this is the idea, is…looks very professional, like factory-made almost, when you use the mold. He’s doing a Christmas pie. Mini-Santa not in there. No, Steven, he said; no.
Most people are doing the traditional recipe, but Liam and Kate are doing turmeric pastry, add a little flavor. Kate’s doing potato, onion, and curry. Floats my boat. Mango and chilli on top. People are showing their molds. Kate’s is gonna be really thin. Looking forward to it, but be careful if it’s too thin, Prue says. Okay, so people start raising their pie. Gotta make sure it’s even and thick. Hand-raised pie has been made for a long time. Liam’s doing it his own way. He’s like, I did it on the outside; it didn’t work, so I’m gonna do it on the inside. They say, is that a problem, Paul? He goes yeah, it’s not traditional. They say, ignore him, Liam. He’s doing the Sun…nan’s Sunday dinner; plantain, curried goat, mango, avocado. I’m gonna take a risk, Liam says. Or do I not take the risk? What do I do? What would I have done at home?
But Yan and Julia are also doing it from the inside out. But they say well, it’s a little easier to do it this way, on the inside. Or, I’ve never done it on the outside. So, it looks smooth though, when you do it on the outside. Liam’s like, I gotta give myself a challenge. If it works, it’ll work. So, what’s the point at the…? Julia’s kinda past…she’s like well, what’s the point, you know? Yan’s like, I gotta make sure it’s cooked. She’s doing a checkerboard pie…checkerboard interior; sausage, chorizo, chicken, black pudding. Figs on top, I think. Bang it in the freezer. While pie crust chill, it’s time to make the fillings. Steven does a little flaming rum something. Blue cheese sauce to hold it all together…special occasion pie is Julia’s shredded chicken, avocado, pears.
She’s nervous, obviously, but just…alls you can do is your best and hopefully it goes to plan. Stacy’s doing meat-free curry with eggs…hand-raised pie, spinach, lentils…I’ve done it at home. Two on Friday. One went good and one not good. Okay, Yan and Julia; they’re filling their pies. Other people are taking their pies out of the thing. So, I guess that’s the difference. With the other one, you can fill the pie in the mold, but everybody else is trying to get theirs out of the mold, not filled, so then they can fill it. Stacy’s is stuck. Steven’s helping Kate get hers out; it works. Noel whispers to Liam’s…do a baking handshake; solid. Trying to keep up with the youth. Stacy’s still trying to get hers out. I guess it…won’t…comes out. Everybody starts trying to fill theirs.
Don’t want to be too fussy, but you want it to look pretty when you open it up. Potato…Stacy realizes she left parchment paper in there, but her pie’s already filled. She thinks about it for like…I mean, even in the edit, like fifteen, twenty seconds. Liam puts his top on, Sophie’s getting hers ready, Stacy’s stressed, very stressed. Halfway through hand-raised pie. Julia and Yan are now taking theirs out. Yan’s comes out pretty easily. Julia’s doesn’t come out, but then Yan has to take hers out and then flip it. Then Julia’s stressed. Yan’s like, I’ll help you. But then they realize that she has a mold and not a bowl anyway, so she has to take the mold off. Some people are using twine to hold their pie together, so…people are getting theirs in the oven, brushing it with stuff.
About an hour…raw meat, but you don’t want to overcook turkey, Steven says. Sophie’s gotta get her liquids out. Stacy’s is like man, mine is floppy already. Everybody’s watching their ovens. A watched pie always cooks. Now, Sophie’s trying to get liquid out of her pie. Get glazing, everybody. Mango and avocado salsa for Liam’s. Pomegranate, red onions, lime. Figs and pork were for Yan. Those both sound really good. Steven; cranberries. Sophie; I think a mixed fruit. He says yeah, one day…you’re too…oh, I guess Liam was doing a Russel Brand impersonation. Okay, so everybody’s taking their pies out, trying to do their last thing. A little soggy. Stacy’s has collapsed. Sandi looks…she goes okay, well, maybe Paul won’t notice. He’ll become a different person.
Everybody’s getting everything ready, getting the temperature up. Just wait for it to cook. Oh boy, I don’t like it. Kate’s is cooking nicely. Everybody’s checking…where’s the temperature? Steven’s is not cooking. Fifteen minutes to finish those hand-raised pies. Liam; another minute for good luck. Liam’s like, mine looks good. Steven’s is still…he’s leaving it ‘til the last minute. Is it gonna be cooked? Stacy’s pie’s a little bit misshapen. Ten more minutes for Steven. Other pies are coming out. Julia’s starting to decorate her pie, put the fruit on. Everybody’s doing their toppings. Steven’s glittering his fruit to get it ready. Add a little camp in there…would be Steven. Yan’s doing some amazing knifework that Julia and Sophie appreciate. Steven’s waiting ‘til the last minute. He gets his pie; it’s cooked.
Liam’s…likes salsa on top of a pie. That’s definitely brilliant. The other ones, other than the fig, I’d be like, well…I mean, I guess like a Thanksgiving pie. Maybe not with ground turkey, though. With cranberry I can see, but…Stacy’s down. We go to the judges. Hand-raised pies…Sophie’s up first. Forest fruits. Everything go to plan? Well, we’ll see. Let’s get it open. Smooth outside. Beautifully done. Well done. Goes like a cake. Not too much liquid; very good. Amazing construction. Love the flavors. Tartness balances it out. Nice thing, but you do have a little raw crust. Kate’s looks great. Oh, cuts great. Pastry’s thin; held well. Flavor’s lovely. Looks pretty. Love that, absolutely. Coolness of the mango with the curry works clever. Stacy’s pie looks a mess, homemade. Should have been professional-looking.
Also, there’s parchment paper on the bottom. So, they take that out. She says, I’m sorry. They said, this would work as a meal. It’s more of a dish than a hot…then they go to Steven’s. Look at those sides. Lovely color. Attractive, moist, looks good, but taste is bland. Stuffing in turking is…it all tastes…let down on the flavor. Yan’s pie; this was done in the tin. Okay, well…looks alright. A little bit of crimping. I like the checkerboard. Wow, nice, stunning. Golden, rich flavor. Taste different. Fruit works; wonderful. Then Julia; could have been neater where the lid meets the side. You did it in a tin. Asparagus works. Chicken’s dry. Asparagus is overcooked…or doesn’t work. Pastry’s overcooked. Liam; conscience kicked in. I did it the traditional way. They’re impressed. Steely blue eyes. Is Paul your conscience?
They start cutting the pie. Holding together nicely. Colors are fantastic. It’s quite succulent and juicy. Plantain gives it some smoothness. Tropical flavor. It’s nice. Then the fruit’s also spectacular. Wonderful. Grandma’s a genius. Get it, nan? Can she come to my house and cook? Paul says. Liam’s like yeah, I just want to make her proud. #Cynthia. Stacy says, sadly I’ll be gutted if I go home. Julia’s like, I’m pleased with the comments, but I’m worried. It wasn’t enough. They do a long pause on her. Trees, the tent…table talk. We’re worried about Julia. Well, Kate saved herself. I loved her potato curry. Julia’s was untidy. Pastry was thick and raw. Stacy’s in trouble. Her pie; all over the place. Struggled. Star Baker, Liam, Yan, Sophie. Still in there. Her fruits were great.
Looked good, very professional crimping. Liam just astonishes me. Genius with flavor. Instinct for what goes. They give Sandi a hard time. They cut to the tent, cut to the waiting bakers. Star Baker is Liam, who used the wisdom of their elders for a wonderful showstopper. Everybody’s happy for him. He makes a kid…haircut face, which is even better. Poor Sandi has to give the…she’s really upset. Really hard for her to say goodbye. She says the person leaving the tent is…Stacy and Julia are freaking out, but it’s Julia. Sandi says I’m so sorry. Big hug. Sorry, sweetheart. Really down. You did…oh, I almost started crying there. You did amazing. Big hugs. I’m lucky to find my passion, something I enjoy doing. There’s one place to go; up. Liam kicks back, laughs. Says yeah, Star Baker. Didn’t think I would ever get it.
Over the moon, over the moon, just like…yeah. He’s clapping his hands. I got Star Baker. He calls his mom; mom, I got Star Baker. Oh my god, she says. Why are you crying? He says. That’s the end of the episode, another classic bake-off. So, I hope you’re comfortable and whether you’re in a short crust or warm water crust or rough puff, hopefully you’re in some nice puffs right now. So here, we’ll do some thank-yous and goodnights.
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