1028 – North Pole Gardens Train Tour
This meandering tour is full of sleepy views that will flower as you snooze.
Episode 1028 – North Pole Gardens Train Tour
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, my patron peeps…it’s the patrons…some patrons don’t actually…either they don’t have their…they don’t hear this message. I mean, maybe you’re already asleep; that’s great. You look so great. But I put these messages…specifically record them separately, edit them in separately because the show would not exist without you, so thank you so much again. This is…I’m recording this well, well, well before it comes out, so this should come out towards the end of the year where I’m recording this before Episode 1000 even got released. So, thank you so much. It wouldn’t be possible without you. Thanks.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether that’s thoughts, things on your mind that you’re thinking about about the past, the present, the future, stuff, lists, all that. Holy moly; thoughts. Thoughts; we all got them. Holy cow. I’ve said…thoughts; I’ve said it before. I’ve thought it many more times than that, thinking oh boy, OshKosh B’gosh. Been a while since I said that on here.
So, thoughts, feelings, could be feelings related to…I think I walked by an OshKosh B’gosh…I said by gosh…literally either they sold OshKosh B’gosh or it was an actual OshKosh B’gosh store. I did say by gosh, ‘cause my daughter said dad, what do they sell in OshKosh B’gosh? Oh, it was an outlet, I think. I said by gosh, I don’t know, but I use it on the pod…I said over…other than overalls, I have no idea, honey. I said clothes you might put on a…I always imagined it was my…the only things…I never…I don’t think I ever owned any OshKosh B’gosh. Good clothes designed for having a matching…overalls. I said, but I just love saying it; OshKosh B’gosh. Oh, so…oh, feelings; you could be having feelings about that or past, present…they’re good for…also, sorry, my brain keeps interrupting me. Good for climbing.
If you had to say what other features do OshKosh B’gosh clothing have, I’d say it’s my understanding they’re playground-friendly, ‘cause I think…I don’t know if they had television commercials, but their commercials that are running in my mind right now include children in a panel…like rainbow colors of overalls, climbing and sliding. Also, I’d say they…if they weren’t wear…they’d be skinning their knees if they didn’t…here’s…can’t…has…this statement has not been evaluated by anybody with common sense, but OshKosh B’gosh; you might not skin your knees as much. Take it from me; I’ve never worn them. OshKosh B’gosh. Soon to be…soon I’ll be dealing with…soon I’ll be working at the outlet to pay for…to pay…say, can we work that out? I’ll just work at the outlet. Let’s just drop this whole thing.
I’ll work a few hours at your…how about this; hundreds of thousands of people are gonna hear the name of your product over and over again in an…bemusing way. So…oh, thoughts, feelings, physical sensations. Could be something physical coming up for you or emotional or just thoughts or a combination of those. It could be changes in time, temperature, routine. Holy cow, would my…if I had to commute to an Osh…they say yeah, you can work at the main one; Oshkosh, Wisconsin. I’d say well, I don’t…I’d say it sounds like a lovely…could I live above the store? If we could set this up for four or five years from now, I’ll be into it. How about this; I live in the store. Well, is it an outlet? Because I’d have to see it first. But does the store have a slide? Okay, they…they’re not online anymore.
Oh, I’m supposed to…oh, so thoughts…whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, I’m here to take your mind off of stuff. Maybe I already did that…and keep you company. I’m not really here to put you to sleep. I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, and the way I’m gonna do that is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, silling…silly…lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones with a lot of silliness mixed in there, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. You just went along on a ride of those. All to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you can fall asleep, which is the most important thing…message for me to get across. You deserve a good night’s sleep. You and your sleep are important.
I know if this is your first time listening, that might be a strange thing to hear and you might be skeptical or doubtful or…that’s totally understandable too, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s true. This podcast does not work for everybody, but I just want you to…if you have any takeaway from the show, that’s the thing; you deserve a good night’s sleep. I hope this show can provide it for you ‘cause one, if you get the sleep you need and deserve, your life’s gonna be a little bit better, a little bit more manageable. That means our world really is a better place to live in. If your world’s a better place to live in, our whole world is. So, that’s important to me. It’s also important to me ‘cause I’ve been there, tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, trouble waking up early.
All those things, I’ve been there. Tossing, turning, mind…oh no, I already said all that. Thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, all of that. So, I know how it feels to dread bedtime or the thought of it later, and if I can offer a goofy alternative that you say well, at least I got that pod guy to ramble on about nothing…say OshKosh B’gosh fifty or seventy times, and…but he is…and also it’s like, there’s a grain of…he’s senseless but there’s a grain of sense in there. It’s one grain among billions of words. Also, he’s not good with numbers. But so, if I can help, it’s my honor. Give this show a few tries. That’s what hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people have said; hey, I didn’t like it at first or I was skeptical or I was confused. So, just kinda give it a few tries. Don’t really listen to the show actively.
Like, if you’re waiting for it to start or for me to get to the part that puts you to sleep, it’s all kind of a…part of a process. So, I invite you to come along for the ride and just kinda look out the window and say hm…just like, do some window shopping at OshKosh B’gosh. You’ll come away with very little information like I did. I mean, I’m pretty sure when I looked in the window…I know this isn’t true, but I saw the OshKosh B’gosh sign; I’m pretty sure I saw a My Buddy doll in an OshKosh overall going down a slide. That’s just how my mind remembers things. So, kinda see how this podcast goes in the same way. You don’t have to wake up with an accurate…you say, I don’t know if he ever got to a…was there ever a bedtime story? I don’t know. But he just kept me company while I fell asleep. So, it’s a podcast you don’t listen to.
It also doesn’t put you to sleep. Like I’ve been saying, I’m here to be your bore-bud, your bore-bae, your bore-bestie, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your bore-friend. I’m here to keep you company whether you’re awake or asleep or while you get ready for bed and unwind. I’m here to be your buddy in the deep, dark night, to take your mind off of stuff, to be that voice so you don’t…to make you feel less alone, I guess is the real non-subtextual way to say it, and to keep you company. That way, if you can’t sleep, I’m here to keep you company and I’ll be here to the very end if you can’t sleep. But if you fall asleep, you say that pod guy is still talking, but I don’t have to listen. What a great deal we have going. He talks; I could listen, but I don’t have to, or I could barely listen. But I can listen.
He doesn’t promise to make any sense, but he promises to be here to keep me company and to occasionally say words like OshKosh B’gosh and misspeak. He promises to be so imperfect, he’s perfect at what he does. So, that’s those things. The other things that can throw new people off, understandably, but they all serve a purpose…they’re all process of the show, is the structure of the show. The podcast is…you can adapt it for your uses, but on your first few listens, give it a try and just see how the process goes for you and then adjust, ‘cause this is just the way the show is designed and the majority of people listen, but that doesn’t mean there’s a wrong or right way to listen to the show.
But the show starts off with a greeting so you feel welcome and seen; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you’re welcomed in. Then there’s some support; support for listeners, support for the community around the show, and then support for the podcast to be free which is our main goal, is to have the podcast free, sponsor and listener-supported, and come out twice a week. So, that’s part of that. Then there’s an intro. So, sometimes the greeting throws people off, sometimes the support throws people off, and then sometimes the intro throws people off, and the intro goes on and on and on for ten to twenty minutes where I try to explain what the podcast is in an efficient way, and then I get distracted by something.
Tonight it was OshKosh…by gosh, I was distracted by OshKosh. Not Wisconsin, but maybe the…from Wisconsin. I don’t know. But I was over…now…if I sang…if I was a country and western or folk singer or I just knew how to sing or play guitar, I would sing a song about OshKosh…overalls on my mind. Overalls on my under-mind. Underwear under my overalls always, ‘cause that material does not look comforting. It looks like it’s the kind for crawling and running. Oh, boy. OshKosh by gosh. So…oh, so the intro goes on and on. So if you’re new, it can be frustrating ‘cause you’re like, when’s the podcast start or why isn’t it going anywhere? But yeah, this is something that’s always going and never gets started because it’s part of the wind down part of the show, the ease into bedtime.
So, most listeners…and you could try this, is…I mean, the ideal situation, even backed by all this sleep information that’s out there, is to have a wind-down time to do something relaxing, to slowly get ready for bed, and kinda do something maybe meditative or chill, or stretch or draw, or just slowly get ready for bed; cleaning your face and brushing your teeth, but to give yourself some space between your day and your sleep. The intro’s kind of a facilitation of that. Now, there are some people that are already asleep, looking so good, and there are some people that are listening…that they say hey, I don’t know if…and I say yeah, I’ll be here. Don’t worry. You don’t have to fall asleep. I’m gonna be here to keep you company.
There’s 2% or 3% of people that just skipped ahead, started the show at, what, I don’t know; twenty or thirty minutes in. Then there’s a few thousand people that listen on Patreon to story-only episodes. But for most people and even for me, I need to ease into bedtime. I need to kinda slow…I don’t know, slowly get in there. So, that’s what the intro goes on and on and on for, is to never make any sense and to keep you company. Yeah, so at first it could be frustrating, or maybe if you become a fan of the stories, you say well, I prefer just to listen to the stories. I say okay, that’s a way to adapt the show using your podcast app or Patreon. So, just kinda see how it goes at first, but there’s a reason…whatever they say; there’s an OshKosh…there’s a by gosh to this kosh, or whatever.
Does it…is kosh…can you use that as its own word? I’m gonna have to look this up actually, ‘cause now I’m saying wait a second, am I okay with this? So, we’ll figure that out…part out, is looking in the history of those words. So anyway, the intro goes on and on and on, then there’s sponsors. That’s just where sponsors…it’s one of the places they’ll have their spots, and they support the show being free. Then our bedtime story starts at whatever, twenty minutes into the show, and that’s our…the part most people fall asleep to. It’ll be a little train tour around the gardens at the North Pole. Seasonal material, but really nothing about…I don’t know. I said…when I got off the tour, I said huh, that wasn’t…that could…you could really go on this tour any time of the year. It just happens to be at the North Pole.
So, that’s…that’ll be the story. It’ll be relaxing. That’ll go about forty-five, fifty minutes, and then there’s thank-yous at the end of the show. So, that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show. I’m very glad you’re here. I really appreciate you checking this podcast out and giving me your time. Give it a few tries, see how it goes, ‘cause I really want to help you fall asleep. So, thanks again for coming by, and here’s a few ways I’m able to do this for you for free twice a week. Thanks.
Hello, hello. Welcome, welcome. Have a seat. This is…can I have your ticket? Thank you. I’m just gonna punch your ticket here. You already…I assume you know where you are, but welcome to the North Pole Tours…the garden…tour of the North Pole gardens; Garden Train. It’s another tour. This is a soft launch. I’m glad you’re here to check it out. I’m sure the first thing you’ll notice is that our station is also a greenhouse. You say well, I didn’t know the North Pole had gardens. We have different gardens for different times of year, but we also have a giant enclosed…yeah, we have…people ask for plants for the holiday season as gifts. But here you see alongside your train, as the train’s going to start moving…yeah, rows and rows of…first you see the…not roses roses, but there are roses.
I think there’s…this is my first time giving the tour, so thank you for your patience. I know you’ve…hopefully you’ll go on our other new tours. New North Pole Tours; welcome. But here in the station that is also a greenhouse…now luckily, our train runs on mechanisms and the train ejects carbon dioxide, which is…what could be more wonderful for the plants that consume carbon dioxide and sunlight in this giant greenhouse and station? You also expel carbon dioxide, so even when you were waiting in the station, you were helping our plants. So, that’s a nice thing. But you’ll see rows and rows and rows. You see the stanchions or the supports for our giant roof.
As I traveled the world before…during…you’ve probably heard that we have an away time, us elves, but I did marvel at some of these train stations around the world. You know, they were…not all of them in sunny regions, but a lot of them did have these type of…what do they call them? Glass and steel structures that are like greenhouses but not very many plants growing, particularly. Some decorative plants and sometimes you’d see plants growing, but…’cause you say well, the sun lights the facility during the day and also offers some warmth. But you know, plants, they offer humidity, oxygen, and just some freshness. They also retain heat. So, here you see these are all hanging plants on either side of the train that we’re passing, and the station does go from a grand station to a long greenhouse that we’re still in, so it is just a few rows on either side of the train.
But it kinda does look endless. These are different baskets of hanging plants that can be placed in other baskets whether we’re decorating homes in the North Pole or visitor areas or someone asks for a gift. You could kinda see some of the flowers that are flowering right now. They’re seasonal. Again, this is…I will be looking through my guide to see what…oh, you say okay, there’s…yeah, those are S-hooks holding the plants, and there’s two levels of plants, but they’re placed at intervals, so there’s a higher plant and then a lower plant, and then a higher plant, then a lower plant. But not above one another, so they all get light.
They are kinda fed by a drip system invented by more of the…more inventive elves than the elves that give…but that are applying to be a tour guide here on the North Pole…I thought I had…I could have sworn when I was writing down ideas for the tour that I had something garden…another G. But yeah, you see some yellow flower plants, some reddish-pink plants with…that are more of a…you see ones that are a group of…those orangeish-yellow ones are kind of a trumpety-type flower, which I like. Heralds your arrival at the station or your departure. But then you see some…those…single flower, those reddish…I don’t know, pinkish-red plants with the white circle in the middle and some white highlights. Those, to me, do feel tropical. I don’t know what flower they are, but they do feel tropical and very nice.
While I was talking, we’re passing out of the station now. Now we’re passing into a swampy region. Now, I can’t get into how we maintain its…well, I can because it’s a covered area as well…a different type of greenhouse that kinda seems seamless from where you are because it is…this is some sort of technology the North Pole keeps from even…well beyond my understanding. But this swampy region serves multiple purposes. So, you see kinda those trees with the moss hanging down, a lot of those thick trees. Look at those branches. I don’t know what kinda tree it is, but they’re lovely, lovely trees. I may know; they gave me a guidebook, but…for…how can I look at a guidebook when I can look out the window and see row and row of trees and then fern-like plants and palm-like plants closer to the ground?
This swamp is…it kind of serves…like I said, it’s wetlands, so the water, for some of the plants in our area and the station, comes in through here. Also, the non-clean water comes in from…at a little bit further off, because this is a part of our…water processing. A lot of it happens naturally. Now we’re gonna pass…so you could see, we’re passing a giant tower, and you’re gonna see different giant towers there. Those giant towers…now, they…they’re multi-purpose towers, of course, as a lot of things are here in the North Pole. So, you say well, that looks kind of like a tower that I’d see a W-I-Z-A-R-D at. I say yes, thank…I’m glad you noticed that because we call that the Wizard’s Tower. It is a residence.
I think it does have laboratories, but the majority of the tower is not hollow, but it is…well, it is hollow, but filled with water. It’s also a water tower. So, it’s a water tower and a tower…I don’t know…I’ve never been in there. You have to have a special clearance. I mean, I said, so our…is it a wizard’s tower for real? They said don’t worry about it. But my understanding is that it maintains the water pressure for the swampy areas and the water…they work together somehow to do the level of the water…the water levels. It’s also all…it also was amazing…and I did ask this; I said well, what if it was empty? Because it also acts as some kind of ballast or…and support. There’s other towers we can’t see with all these trees and things around us that…it also supports the roof or whatever’s above us that’s keeping this area warm.
I know you’re gonna ask, so I guess I’ll talk about it now, is that it is…yeah, there is some volcanic activity, just like you would imagine in beautiful books of imagination that does enable a lot of this…’cause it’s not…the sun itself could not keep the North Pole this warm. So, and then…I do have…I’m anticipating some objections on the tour, which is understandable, ‘cause everyone has their own perspective and feelings. But I do always say well, there’s nothing natural about…while we consider ourselves stewards of the world and the environment here at the North Pole, we also do have some technological…responsible tech…uses of technology and changes to the environment that we do try to mitigate. But in my head, I would never…I say well, there’s nothing natural about what we do at the North Pole.
They say, someone flying across the planet at…and the distribution of all the gifts, and then the different international agreements we’ve met to…you know, you’ve heard all of our myths, maybe. There’s a podcast about the myths of the North Pole, that it’s…it’s not entertaining. People always fall asleep to it. But upcoming, we have some more…some areas that are a little bit open. You could see these fields, and there’s more than one thing planted in these fields. I could see some sunflowers, I could see what looks like some sort of…I don’t know if that’s rhubarb, or what is that? Chard? Chard, I think it’s called. Swiss chard or just regular chard, and some other plants, one that has flowers there. You do see some orange trees and citrus trees on the edge of the property there. Then higher up, some bushes.
Also, the bushes I think also serve to help control the airflow and things. Now we’re getting into a region we call…like I like to call the B double-E region. You’ll see a big house there that looks like a fantasy-type house with different bright colors. You say wait a second, that house is not to perspective; it’s larger than life. What is that pouring…the house has a chimney of stone. Oh, two chimneys of stone, yes, as you noted. Is that…? I say no, those are bees pouring out of there. This is one of our regions…that is a bee house or a home for beehives, is what we prefer to call it. These bees, you could see that we’re in a region…now, right now there are only some flowering things. Yeah, there’s hanging plants on the…on there, and then in the…nearby surrounding the house, there’s some towering flowering plants.
Towering, flowering; these plants you see out your window. They look like they’re on some sort of stalk with little white flowers at the top and a lot of pistils or stamens. There’s something sticking out. But yeah, this is one of the houses that…where bees live. But where…inside. Also, yes, that’s why we built it as a house, to answer your other question, is yeah, the house is built…below the house is a honey-collecting area, and also smokers or poofers or whatever for when…we say hey bees, stay calm or whatever. We’re gonna do some work in the house or some rearranging of the different…the way…the different…I don’t know. I’ve never been in there, but I imagine there’s all those beehive boxes or whatever.
But I mean, can you imagine living in a place where…with a basement full of…you say, what do you got in your basement, honey? What do you…in jars? No, no, no; my basement is liquid honey. It’s full of honey. I don’t know if…I’ve heard tell that you’re not supposed to swim in the honey but that a few elves have, ‘cause the honey’s processed, I think, or cleaned or something afterwards, ‘cause it’s just been in a basement, you know. So, I mean, I guess…yeah. Then you also see…this is…there’s more than one…now, one thing that they…you can’t see just because of the angles is that these houses are built on rails. What you don’t see is that they can connect to this train track, believe it or not, and there is other tracks off of here. What are those called?
You know, track sections or whatever, so that these bee homes can be moved to where the bees are needed. I don’t know, because of seasonal…and like I said, I’m just testing to see if this tour is viable, you know. This isn’t supposed to be…none of these tours are supposed to be perfect because that would be a fantasy. But yeah, you can even see that streetlights have their own planters, too. So, they…yeah, the planters are even full of flowers. We all want the bees to feel at home, of course. Here, coming up on your right side, is another submerged wet area. I don’t know if…what you’d call it because it’s mostly filled with flowers; I guess kinda flowers that like to be in a wet area that’s not a…I wouldn’t call that a swamp or a bog, though, ‘cause it’s full of flowers. The flowers are a lot of different colors.
I’m not sure what kind of flowers there are, but I would say man, I really wish I had a…I guess I gotta make a note for my tours to expand my vocabulary of colors because I don’t know how many times I could say maroon and lavender. Could you say lilac when you’re not talking about…? When you’re talking about a flower that’s not a lilac, you can’t…’cause…and I’m not even sure I would be able to…but you do see some ones that…those flowers there are a combination of white and a purple and a lavender, and then some are just a stark white and some are more of an eggshell, and then some are getting into a parchment paper color. Then you have some deep, deep purple. Then you’d say these ones that are really close look almost like flowers you’d expect to see under the sea, at least color-wise.
You could kinda see…you’d say to yourself, is that some sort of reddish, pinkish…not a hot pink, but capillaries, almost, against a white background or white capillaries against a red…magenta; that…thank you. That is a magenta. Holy magenta. Okay, now over here, coming on the left, is our Topiary Zone. There’s not a lot going on right now in the Topiary Zone, but those one day will be topiaries of famous figures of the North Pole. If this tour ends up being a success, they’d place the topiaries at different places, and also to celebrate…now, not particularly…a lot of them are only gonna celebrate elven values, so things like giving a smile, focusing on a task. So, they would be at different places as kind of a reminder of what our values are. That one is the most formative one. I believe that one is gonna be…have a dance.
That figure, they seem to be reaching out and holding a dancing dress that a lot of us enjoy wearing. I think that would be a leg kicking up, but I could just be projecting my own values onto the future values topiary. Now, holy cow, we’re lucky; here, look at that out that window. We see two people working, and one is standing and one is on their hands and knees. It looks like they’re planting. You could even see little…those aren’t forks, are they? Is that a shovel or a spade? I guess I believe that’s a shovel. Yeah, so, they’re working there, planting little green things. I do see a couple purple and white flowers, so it looks like they’re planting flowers. I would say wow, that’s pretty nice to see. Now, oh boy, are we lucky here, because we’re coming up on…and we should be going in out of here.
You won’t be able to see it because there’s so much overhanging plant matter, but this is a area that’s highly humid. We’re even…we even kind of pass through an air…what are those called? Like an air wall or something. But now you could kinda see the mist, and this is a very, very swampy region. It’s misty, oh boy, and you could see as we come around this bend here, we’re up against a river. I can tell you that this is natural, so there’s a lot of liquid here. We do…now, we do stimulate this, so that river was not here originally. It is a elven construction, but all meant to compliment…well, otherwise this would just be an…but any…let’s just set aside the tisk and the task, but…so, underneath us is a…this is a very active but stable geothermal region.
So, alls it did take was a little bit of that and a little bit of that, and then roofing to keep out the temperate cold to create this. It’s like, we could be much closer to another…those things that circle the globe, the…is that what it’s called? The Circle of Capricorn? I don’t know. The Tropic of Capricorn? Is that…or is that a book that has a lot of things that make you sweat in it? Oh, but yeah, I guess I forgot that we go right back out here, so we’ll…hopefully we’ll be returning — I guess my notes were off — to the swampy region. But yeah, it looks like we’re going on a winding path. Believe it or not, I fell asleep during the…so I guess maybe I dreamed a portion of the whole thing. But now we’re going through…oh, I do have some notes here…is…these are roses and petunias coming up.
We’re kinda going on a meandering path through some red…I see some red roses, I see some white roses. I don’t know if I was aware of the term pink petunias. They’re on both sides of the train now, which is kind of exciting, with those stone walls holding them at bay. Sometimes, I’ll be honest with you, I know that they also use…when you see a stone wall like that, it may be that they were building up the earth to a higher level, so probably some sort of North Pole production facility, maybe a top-secret one where they test out, I don’t know, remote-control planes or something that they don’t want you seeing as a non…as a visitor. But now we’re taking a long bend and we’re gonna go through another air pocket or air wall. We were entering a little bit of a desert region.
We’re just gonna go through here again shortly, but you could kinda see some different types of cactuses. I actually have…so, I’m still learning; like, I know there’s yucca, there’s barrel cactus, prickly pear, which…and agave. Maybe just a regular cactus? Those look like the movie cactuses there in the back. They even have…or cactuses from video games; you’re right, ‘cause it does look like it has an arm. That one even has a nice flower on it. Yeah, so this is more…this is a part for just the enjoyment on the train, too. You’re gonna see coming up here is another area that looks like a manor. We’ll see a couple of these on the tour. You can even see some statues. This is a view in the…they say on…the back side of a manor. You could see some plants there.
I’m trying to see…I think I have some notes here that…iris, hawthorn…oh, and that is an oak tree with the Spanish moss hanging from it. There’s other plants; there’s definitely some ferny palm-type trees there and some ivy against the back of the manor. You may say, what does that manor serve? I’d say, it’s probably the back end of…I think it’s a multi…it’s the elven equivalent of an elven apartment building, but this is the back side. I would assume that the…a lot of them have a common area. They’re built around a common plaza. I think we’re at an angle where there probably is…the plants are blocking that maybe there are…again, our perspective is not great, but I would presume that there’s elves enjoying their privacy and their breaks in that garden area.
Now, not every elf wants to live in a non…in the not-North Pole, you know. This isn’t for every elf, this…some would even say manufactured lifestyle. But some elves do enjoy it. As we kinda pass the outskirts of that area, you can see that this is a flowerbed getting ready for something. I’m not sure…I think this is one of those flowerbeds where, during the different times of the flowering year, they would have statues…or, not statues…within the designs…floral designs — is that what they call it? — of different things. ‘Cause you could kinda see the way the bed is…the…that grouping of flowers is almost meant to look like a flower. Maybe that other one is a bird? I’m not sure. Oh, and then…thank you, thank you…this person coming through…this is not food; these are different plants here.
This one you may recognize as a daisy, and this is a daisy, and the next one is a marigold. Luckily they have tags on them. This last beautiful one…oh, describe the daisy to you; so, white and yellow, but I guess I would associate a daisy…this is a much more feathery daisy than I…if in my mind, I would have a much plainer daisy. The marigold is very…I don’t know. That is a very rich color or set of colors; oranges and reds and blacks all together. But like, almost autumnal in its coloring, but it has such a…it’s like a firework, almost. I think this is called a philox because isn’t ph and f the same? Which, I would…thought a philox was something you used in biology class or chemistry class to measure. But it’s a nice purple flower. I would have said this…what’s…is it a honeysuckle? Do you know about the flowers?
I was visiting the person that does the sleep podcast History of the North Pole, and this was in the summer season, actually, and they showed me this plant where you…this flower where if you put it in your mouth, it tasted sweet. The bud of the…he said the bud of the flower tastes sweet. I said, is this a honeysuckle? He said, I don’t know. But that’s what…kinda the philox reminds me of, but the philox has a little bit more of black and yellow highlights, where that one had more of a orange and blue. My other notes say that these are usually longer-stemmed plants. Oh, and thank you; here’s another round of plants for us to look at. We got baby’s breath. Now, this is something you get in flower…it’s usually used as a supplement there. This one here is yarrow. Hello yarrow.
I like the look of this…these kinda…these two look like things you could…if we were frolicking. Oh, and that one’s a cone flower. Cone flower looks a little bit like a…not a sun…it’s not a sunflower, but you could say well, I can see…why’d you get called a cone flower? Because it has yellow at the tips, it’s a spread-out flower, but it’s a…it doesn’t have that big, fuzzy middle or whatever. Is that where the sunflower seeds are? I’ve always wondered that, if on a sunflower, if the face of the sunflower is where the sunflower seeds are, which would make sense, ‘cause I see so many sunflower seeds. But these other two…and maybe a little bit of this cone flower would…I could see myself running through a…because that’s what we’re seeing out the window while I’m talking, is fields of what look like wildflowers.
But I guess they’re not; they’re wild…they’re…I don’t know if they’re technically wildflowers because it’s a planned…I say well, it’s a wildflower…planned…yeah, flowers. Also not that far, we see on the outside, it is bordered still by other things. So, we do see some sunflowers there. I don’t know if those are rose bushes kinda creating its own border on that side. Again, also, controlling what we can see, the different levelings of the plants and the bushes, and what they could see on the other side. Then they don’t have to hear the train go by, people that don’t like trains…train traffic. Even those trains are very quiet, because it doesn’t have a diesel-type engine. I always wondered what the…you see those…at the edge there, are those white flowers.
I think when I…maybe I have something in my notes about it, but when you look up close, that a…that they’re almost…they look like they’re furry. It doesn’t look like a flower; it just looks like a furry, white-type plant. You know what I’m saying? Yeah, I don’t know. Yeah, and oh, those ones there, that’s a different one. We’re a little bit closer. That again is one. It looks like a flower, but as we get closer, that one looks like a…it’s dusted with powdered sugar or snow, that plant. Similar idea to what I was talking about before. But, you know, but not the same thing. You know what I mean? It’s…looks like it was almost spray-painted; you’re correct in some sense. Then here’s another field of flowers. I guess…would you say these are wildflowers? I think maybe I’m seeing some of those ones…those names I forgot.
I see…was…those marigolds orange or is that some other flower? Then I see purple, and those are little tiny flowers. It does look like a little bit wild. Then that pink and reddish flower, that one does not look as…what do you call that where you’re…we’re running like it’s a TV commercial and our hair is flying behind us? Maybe we’re going into a lover’s embrace or someone’s embrace. I mean, these are very beautiful flowers, but they’re very dense. It doesn’t look like…not a area…picnicking. ‘Cause you say well, I’ll probably have a little scratchy-poo after running through those flowers. There’s really no way to run through them without feeling like I’m trampling on their…on them. So, a different group of wildflowers than that other one. That was a little bit more spread out.
This is a little bit higher-density flowerbed, or flower field. Oh, now here we go again. I think we’re going…I think we just went out and back in. I don’t know if this is the desert or the edge of that…one of the swampy regions. But see those trees there…and I think these are oak trees again, covered in different kinds of ivy and moss. Maybe the Spanish moss, but also some other ivy. There’s also some…a collection of…now, those…this is all part of the plan, but you see some fallen trees. Now, I think a lot of those have been moved there because then there’s other things growing on the old, past-away trees that are on the ground. Or, even some are still standing, and even that…oh, there’s a nice fountain there. Maybe this is a area you could walk to from the other side. I don’t know, but it’s very nice.
Oh, as we come around here, there’s another collection of roses on the other side of that fountain. It kinda looks…and there’s maybe a tree there, and then there’s some other bushes. I would say that they’re all entangled again. Then some nice trees. Again, we see another building rising up from behind the trees. That building is stately; you’re correct. It does have some towers, it does have…it’s brick and stone. Now, that I know for a fact, is one of our libraries. It’s known for having extensive grounds. Now, we can’t see them; that’s one of the purposes of those…I guess those fountains, maybe where the edge of the grounds from the other side.
But all those trees and the fact that it’s built up, the library’s built up on a little bit of a hill and a rise…what we can’t see in the valley below is ‘cause we also have these other bushes in front of us here, is yeah, grounds to the library for reading and strolling. I know there’s sculpture gardens that I guess would be more for enjoying when you’re there than from a view from a train. But yeah, we have…what else do we have here? Different…we can see out here the roses. There’s some purply plants and some reddish plants and then some pointy plants. I don’t know what…what are pointy plants called? Then I like those long flowering plants that look like they’re stems with flowers. Oh, and then look at the hanging stuff. I wonder if that’s the same plants you see when people’s places…those air plants. It kinda looks like it.
Or hair…I’m surprised when you look…see; that’s like hair plants, but very, very pretty. Oh, we’ve exited again and oh, we’re actually outside. Now we’re on the edge…region where…this is a interesting region. Now, this is a transitory region, too. You see, yeah, some shaped evergreen bushes and trees here. I think those are made…I know those are yew trees. Not you, Y-O-U, but those are yews because we use the yews for different things, like in different styling…stylized gardens. But also, the yews are here…because this is a transition zone, they’re still off gassing and releasing of heat and moisture. So, where we’re traveling right now is the roofs…there’s no walls even though we’re in a slightly roofed region to slowly being exposed to the outdoors.
You’re also gonna see some more…bigger leafed plants that are very nice. Oh, and now we’re curving back inside. Again, this is…I think this is the same river, the swampy river, there. You even see some floating plants in there, and I don’t know anything about them other than they’re plants that are floating. They really create a relaxing-type mood, eh? Make me relaxed. I say, this is…that’s pretty nice. These plants are pretty, pretty nice. They look good just floating away, just floating. I wonder if those are free-floating plants. Again, we’re going past some more gnarly trees with the Spanish…okay, and then a…some palm trees. Oh, there was one…I think there’s a palm tree called the Bismarck palm, ‘cause I thought of the…somewhere in the greater North Pole, beyond…the pole beyond the North Pole is…it always reminds me of Biz Markie.
So, I say well…and then I…also, the yew tree. But this is the Bismarck palm, one…I think one of the…this palm tree there. I don’t know. They told me not to sing. They said, don’t…just let the Biz rest in the pole beyond the North Pole. I said, but we just passed yews not that long ago, and now we have the Bismarck palm. Because of this…another one…again, they say, don’t…but this is the silk…something silk plant. A silk something. A silk tree; it’s very spiky. So, that, again…I don’t know. Somehow I put that all together into a song. But oh, yews, Biz Markie, silky, spiky, silky tree. But yeah, this is a very spiky silk tree. I don’t know if it has anything to do with silk itself. But it’s very, very nice here. It’s very towering. I mean, it’s a towering thing.
Now we’re coming around here to some more of these structured…these are…not all of them are geometric shapes, but these…where the…this is a place where bush…the bush-trimmers practice. So, you see they have different ways they’ve sketched out the gardens there. So, they have the bushes…I think you would see this in the UK in particular, where you have the bushes arranged and then inside the bushes, you have some trees, you have some plants, and the shape of the bushes…some bushes are a little bit taller and some are trimmed down low. I think some of those are plants you might have with tea or plants you might use in your garden. Oh boy, next up we have a big…a very large building that you can’t even see. Now, that is a living roof.
I know that the California Academy of Sciences has a living roof, but these are A-frame-type roofs here. Or they could call them earthen roofs. It’s not…it’s a earth-covered roof; correct, yes. It’s got flowers, wildflowers, and grasses on there. I think if I could live somewhere, I wouldn’t want to rent. I would not want to own a home with a earth-covered roof ‘cause I’d say well, what’s the future maintenance costs, you know? Also, ownership works differently here in the North Pole. But I say, I wouldn’t mind living in one ‘cause I say well, it’s gotta be great for maintaining the temperature. But probably outside of the controlled climates areas…but in the off-season…but even in the winter I’d say probably be tougher to freeze, if…depending on how many layers it was and if it’s warmer on the inside.
You know what I’m saying? Okay, so, we’re coming back here. A couple more flowers to look at. This is a periwinkle I want you to meet. Isn’t this…this is a…would you call that a pink periwinkle? I’d say it’s almost like a…not quite pink, but I don’t know what color to call it. I have a couple more flowers. This is a geranium. I always think of geraniums and I think of the smell of a geranium…and of poinsetta…poinsettias, of course. That is the next flower. Had to show you one of those. Couldn’t let you get by without that. This one is a purple cone flower, also known as echinacea. You may…now, you say that looks a little bit like a purply, lavendery sunflower. I’d say, that’s what it looks like to me, because I just said it. Yeah, I say it’s a nice little flower there. It’s got nice leaf…it’s very leafy as well.
Then here, this one that my helper here is holding, is known as a hibiscus. So, we have some flowers that you may have…familiarize with other hibiscus drinks or echinacea, other uses that you and the southern world use them for. Finally here on…that we’re approaching and going through is a grassland, and this is where we circle back into the station. They say some of this is decorative grass because this is both good for…this is…these are hardy, hardy grasses or hardy plants or hardy…I don’t know if that’s H-A-R-D-Y or H-E-A-R-T…but both of those, to me. They have strong hearts and stout bodies, you know? You say, some of them look like wheat and some of them look almost flowery. That’s nice too. Here we go, back into the station with all of the hanging plants.
I know I was supposed to have some statistics to impress you, and I know here at the North Pole, we go through about…well, also, the math is different. But so, in your terms, I think it would be 30,000 or 300,000 basket-based plants a year. That’s about…seasonally…you say, so, is that like, a thous…and I say, yeah, it’s about 30,000 at a time right now, like about one-tenth. So, you’re seeing about 30,000 hanging plants in different stages of flowering and development. I hope you enjoyed the tours you watch as we sway into the station, you know, the swaying of these holiday…I guess this…I hope your holiday season is informed by flowers and plants and just taking the time. ‘Cause that’s what we…that’s what inspires us.
I guess that’s what the goal of these tours is, is to know what inspires the North Pole…is growth. That’s what I think the big boss is always looking for. They say well, is it…that’s not an all-or-nothing situation. Is it, are you growing? We like to be around growth too, some of us. Some are more straight…North Pole purists, but not me. I love this tour, so I hope I get the position, or I hope we just become sustainable…I take you on. But I have other tours planned for my testing tour phase, so thank you. This was the North Pole Floral Tour. No, not just flowers, though…Growth…North Pole Growing Things Tour. Thank you for attending.
[END OF RECORDING]
- Topiary Zone
- Grasses are hearty and hardy
- Osh Kosh B’Gosh
- Biz Markie
- California Academy of Sciences
Notable Talking Points:
- Can you use “Kosh” on its own?
- We want the bees to feel at home
- These plants are pretty pretty nice