1005 – Chrononauts | Bored Game Unboxing

Episode 1005 – Chrononauts | Bored Game Unboxing

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, patron…my patron peeps, it’s time for me to sing and get on with the show.  Thank you, patron peeps.

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether that’s thoughts, things on your mind, so things you’re thinking about, or past, present, future.

 

It could be feelings like emotions coming up related to those thoughts or just feelings that are there, physical sensations, it could be changes in your routine or your work schedule or something else, something else going on, whether it’s weather or you feel like you’re talking about the weather and you really want…you know, whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off of that.  What I’m gonna do…I’m gonna…I have a safe place set aside that you’re welcome to…that I could send it to you, you can imagine it, or you could be here with me I guess in a proverbial way.  Has anyone…I mean, I know I take that U2 song from the 1990s…who would move in a proverbial way?

 

I mean, other than big spirits, but…’cause BB…I really thought that was the wittiest thing he ever said, that BB-8 moves in spherical ways.  But I’d have to think who moves in proverb…Scoots, he moves in proverbial ways.  Doesn’t really fit.  I got one-half of a song pun.  I guess the…I don’t…I said I don’t want to shake up any…but I say well, any…actually, any…don’t most spiritual teachers move…they teach in proverbial ways, right?  What was…oh, Mysterious Ways was the song.  But yeah, most spiritual teachers or life lesson teachers, they teach in proverbial ways.  That’s when…one time when I was teaching and I was asleep, I said well, I’m teaching in a proverbial…I’m proverbially teaching.  Luckily that was a dream within a dream.  Okay, so, I gotta get back to this intro.  I have no idea where I was.

 

I got distracted by that.  Have you ever seen a dancing proverb before?  ‘Cause I was just seeing one earlier.  It was moving and I said, that’s like the…you’re proverbially dancing in a proverbial way.  I may be the only one to be able to appreciate ‘cause I don’t think I could put it into words except by using the words…I don’t know if I could come up with a proverb.  Okay, I could try, but I’m actually supposed to be introducing a sleep podcast and I don’t think I quite have the brainpower to come up with a proverb for how lovely you’re moving.  It’s kinda like a statue has come off a pedestal and started…you’re flowing and you’re doing that kinda hand stuff too, but it’s the kind of interpretive dance I’m comfort…I say well, that’s a proverb.  It’s putting me at ease, too.

 

Sometimes interpretive dance…in this situation, I feel like because it’s so contextually out of place, I can appreciate it, when I’m supposed to be watching proverbial dance.  Then you say okay, did you pay attention?  ‘Cause I…when I went to Catholic school, that would happen every once in a while.  They’d say okay, can you tell us about the…what was the…what were the dancers at the…?  They were…I guess you’d…they weren’t called proverbial dancers but in a sense, they were.  Oh, I just felt one of my teachers roll her eyes from far, far away, so I better get back to this podcast intro.  She said, liturgical dance is not a…it’s not proverbial.  I’d say oh boy, how did we get this deep?  Because I don’t want to get…I say, are you sure about that?  Let me tell you a story.  Let me tell you a little story, here.

 

Actually, tonight we’re not even gonna be do…we’re gonna be unboxing a board game, so let me get back on track.  So, if you’re new, welcome.  Regular listeners, you already got a…you got a earful.  New listeners, you did as well.  I tend to go off-topic and get mixed up early.  Sometimes after I introduce the show and sometimes before it, but I’m here to send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents which you’ve just witnessed, all to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company while you fall asleep.  This podcast doesn’t actually put you to sleep on its own; it’s more here to be here as you drift off, to keep…to be your companion.  That’s why the shows are about an hour, so you have plenty of time to drift off.  No pressure.

 

If you can’t sleep, I’m gonna be here to keep you company to the very end.  This is also — and you probably already figured this out — a podcast you don’t really listen to.  It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.  You say well, when does it get started?  I say, it’s got started right when that…a few minutes before that proverbial dancer came in the room.  What about this one?  I’m your proverbial dancer, dancing to convey money.  That’s by the great Tina Turner.  I mean, her…and that was her song…I don’t know if it was a proverb or it was a story.  I don’t know if it was also a proverb.  To be honest, I don’t really…I’m not 100%…clearly, if you’ve been listening, you say Scoots is…once again, I don’t think you know what that word means.  I’d say yeah, but if…that does fit, though.

 

Those are the right amount of syllables for I’m your proverbial dancer.  I dance to convey meaning.  The words could…the story gives meaning to the words we do.  I don’t know, I’d have to figure out the last part.  Okay, so…oh, so don’t really pay attention to me.  You don’t really need to listen.  I’m almost a grade above background noise, and that can be hard to get used to.  This whole podcast can be hard to get used to for new listeners, so if you’re in that space right now, that is a very normal place to be in, where you say what is this nonsense this person is going on about?  That’s a very…that’s the majority of people…how…’cause of course you’ve tried other stuff to fall asleep, and maybe you heard about this show or someone told you about it and you say, what…when is this gonna…?

 

I say, that’s very normal.  If you’re skeptical or doubtful, alls I can tell you is don’t pay me any…don’t pay too much attention to me, but also give it a few tries, and that doesn’t come from me; that comes from hundreds and hundreds of thousands of people who, like maybe you, disliked the podcast at first and then said well, after the second or third try, I realized oh, it’s not that I disliked it.  I just didn’t…wasn’t sure…kinda like some movies.  I was just talking about this with somebody, where you’re spending too much time trying to figure it out and then the second time you can enjoy it.  This one, by the time you listen to me for twenty or twenty-five minutes, you’re gonna either…steam’s gonna be coming out your ears or you say oh, I get it.  He really means it; don’t pay any attention to him.

 

He’s not the…he’s not a proverbial dancer dancing to convey meaning.  He’s the…something dancing for not…with not…and speaking nonsense so you could sleep when you want to sleep.  So anyway, don’t really listen to me.  I’m not here to put you to sleep.  I’m here to keep your…keep you company, be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-cuz, your bore-sib, your bore-bestie.  The structure of the show can also throw you off the first few times, so the show starts off with a greeting so you feel welcome, then there’s support for listeners, then there’s support for the show, then there’s the intro.  The intro goes from like, minute six or minute eight to about minute…I’m trying to trim them down, but I don’t know, twelve to twenty minutes into the show.

 

You say well, when does the show get started?  I say well, the intro is a show within a show, kind of, that gives you time to relax and unwind and get comfortable and start to drift off, whether you’re doing some sort of bedtime routine or unwinding routine, whether you’re getting ready for bed or you’re in bed getting comfortable.  [00:10:00] A small percentage of listeners fall asleep during the intro, and then 2% or 3% of people skip the intro.  A few thousand people listen to story-only episodes on Patreon, but the majority of listeners, yeah, they get some distance from the day, the daytime to the nighttime, and then there will be…so then the intro will end, then we’ll have some business to keep the show free, and then there will be our story which will be a board game unboxing.

 

You say oh boy, I love board games or card games.  I say well, you may love this one, but I’m just gonna be looking at the cards and the box and stuff and describing it and wondering how I would play the game and then getting mixed up ‘cause I haven’t read the rules.  So, that’ll hopefully put you to sleep or keep you company, and then there’s some thank-yous, so that’s the structure of the show.  The other thing is, the reason I make the show is because I’ve been there in the deep, dark night, tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, waking up…whatever it is, I’ve had a lot…I’ve dealt with a lot of that stuff and I know how it feels, and I know it doesn’t really feel good, normally.

 

But knowing someone else is there to keep me company or to just take my mind off of stuff, even if it’s not their intention, like when I listened to comedy radio as a kid.  I don’t know, it helped.  It helped me feel less alone and it took my mind off of stuff, so that’s really what I want to be here to do for you, and then maybe you fall asleep.  The other reason I make the show and I keep coming out…whatever, we’re probably…I don’t know if we’re over 1,000…when I’m recording this, we haven’t made 1,000 episodes but when this comes out, we might be past 1,000 episodes.  So, I made 1,000 episodes because I believe you deserve a good night’s sleep.  You deserve a place you could rest, get comfortable, and drift off.  That’s important to me because if your world’s better, my world is better.

 

You say no, not…I live over…and I say no, it’s true.  If your world’s a little bit better, our entire planet’s a little bit better, too.  If you want to quibble about that, let me just tell you, you deserve a good night’s sleep, okay?  You deserve some rest so you can have your day tomorrow be a little bit more manageable or that you don’t have all the rigmarole around sleeplessness.  That’s what I would like to provide, if I can.  Like I said, this show does not work for everybody, so give it a few tries, but I really appreciate you coming by and checking it out.  I really work hard, I yearn and I strive, and I really hope I can help you fall asleep.  Thanks again for coming by, and here’s really a couple ways I’m able to be here for you free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, it’s Scoots here.  It’s time for another board game unboxing.  This was a suggestion from a listener, Allison, and it comes from the same company, Looney Labs, that makes Fluxx with two X’s.  This game is called…I don’t even know how to pro…it’s the card game of time travel.  Chrononauts.  Chrononauts.  You remember the Phenomenauts.  You remember the Aquanauts.  You remember astronauts, of course.  The Snoozenauts; that’s something I have yet to invent, but I will one day, and now you get to play a game called Chrononauts.  Like Sha Na Na.  Sha Na Na-nauts.  Was there ever any Sha Na Na-nauts?  I mean, talk about a…some of you say…like a obscure reference.  You say, what…well, I’m a member of Sha…I’m Bowser in a spacesuit.  I’m a Sha Na Na-naut.  Or you could make a rope.

 

Here’s a easier way to do it; take a rope, decorate it like a member of Sha Na Na.  First, most of you are gonna have to look up what Sha Na Na is.  Then take a piece of rope, make a knot in it, dress it up, put it…make it look like a 1950s…even though I’ve talked about Sha Na Na, then I always get confused.  Is it…was it a tribute band?  They were at Woodstock, though.  Is it a doo-wop group?  I don’t know.  These are questions I’ve answered and I’ve forgotten the answers to.  But you’d say well, what is that piece of rope you’re holding?  That piece of knotted rope I’m holding?  It’s a Sha Na Na knot.  Sha Na Na knot?  What do you use it for?  Well, when you’re out sailing and you want to do a little doo-wop, you tie yourself a Sha Na Na knot so that your rudder has enough play so you can wobble with the water as you sing.

 

That is the Sha Na Na knot.  That’s K-N-O-T; not N-A-U-T.  But this game we’re talking about is Chrononauts, or Chrononauts.  Chrononauts.  Chrononauts.  If you say it fast, it does feel like Sha Na-nauts.  Chrononauts.  What do I eat for breakfast?  What do Chrononauts eat for breakfast?  I don’t know.  At one point in the last year, I heard Grape Nuts were sold out or something.  I said, the people that over-bought those are gonna be disappointed because…no offense to Grape Nuts fans, but they don’t taste…they taste like the inside of nuts.  You’d say, they don’t taste…never had any grape in there, but if you’ve ever eaten something that’s a nut and not a…not even a…no, more of a seed.  They should be called Grape Seeds ‘cause that’s what they taste like.

 

If you’ve ever eaten a grape seed…what is this, the throwing shade at Grape Nuts Cast?  You say wait a second; Scoots, I’ve bought fifty years of Grape Nuts, a fifty-year supply of Grape Nuts.  I say well, first of all, I’m not exactly sure they’re gonna last fifty years.  Anyway, I gotta get on to this game, the card game of time travel, Chrononauts.  Okay, it came in a pack…a card pack box about the size of two playing decks of cards.  It’s made from cardboard and on the cover it has Chrononauts but in the middle O…so, C-H-ron, C-H-R-O-N, then there’s a spinning clock for the next O, then N-A-U-T-S.  The card game of time travel!  Explanation point.  Then we have a portal with some sparkles and some spheres and then years; 1929, 1944, 1995, 19…kinda like you’re in a dream.  1962, 1950, 1986, 1865, 1999, and 1969.

 

So, only one year from the 1800s on…that made the cover.  So, that’s the front cover.  It’s mostly blues and maybe a purple or two; very nice.  On the sides of the box it says Chrononauts, then it has a…what are these?  What does…a cartoon dinosaur, a brontosaurus-type dinosaur.  Looks a little bit Richard Scarry style, and then it has the symbol for Looney Labs.  Then I guess it has the Lot…Loo; L-O-O 009.  Say, which restroom did you use?  Loo 009.  Why didn’t you go in 007?  Wouldn’t that have been more funny?  You say, this…that one was open, so yeah, I just used Loo 009.  So, that was one side of the box.  One of the top sides; Chrononauts…best traditional card game.  It has award but I can’t quite…something award-winner.  Then on the other side it says one to six players, 11 – A for…and then twenty, twenty…twenty to twenty-five minutes.

 

Made in the USA.  Then, I don’t know, the back side it has the UPC symbol.  Made with recycled paper.  This is Chrononauts Version 1.5, 2000-2013, Looney Labs, Andrew Looney, designer.  They have a patent; the patent number is 6,474, 650.  If only you could patent a sleep podcast.  If I had this game…I already asked about it; they said no…after I said that giant corporation took a lot of my ideas.  They said, yeah.  That’s not a corporation, Scoots.  That’s a startup.  I say yeah, but they’re…anyway, so, can’t do that with a sleep podcast.  So, printed in the USA by Delano Games.  UK importer is Esdevium.  Then you can visit them at looneylabs.com.  Then we have the back cover.  The card game of time travel; Chrononauts.  Then it has the cards laid out very nicely on a imaginary table.

 

Four…columns of four [00:20:00] and rows of one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.  Don’t know if that’s how you play, though.  Then it says, so you want to be a time traveler?  Messing with history has its consequences.  For starters, your world no longer exists, then there are paradoxes, holes in time-space continuum that could really do stuff with the universe.  Shuffle up this time machine in a box and start changing history.  Then it has a continent…continents.  Doesn’t have continents or continences…contents.  140 cards and instructions.  One to six players, 11 – A, twenty to twenty-five minutes.  Chrononauts…Chronon…Chrononauts is a trademark of Looney Labs, College Park, Maryland.  Now we open the box.  It comes with a product catalogue from Looney Labs and instructions.  We’ll check those later.

 

Then it has the cards divided into two piles.  Now, I don’t know if that necessarily means there’s two sets of cards, but I’m gonna check.  Okay, it looks like there’s one large Chrononauts deck and then there’s a paradox deck.  So, we’ll start with the Chrononauts deck, and the Chrononauts deck on the back has a clock in black and white and grey, and then it has Chrononauts in red, bold lettering.  Or, I don’t know, it’s a nice font; I’ll say that.  Looking through it, there’s a couple different kinds of cards.  There’s Action cards, Artifact cards, Gadget cards, Inverter cards, so maybe this is a bit like Uno?  Interesting.  Then Year cards with years and connections.  I’m gonna start with the Action cards ‘cause they’re on the bottom.  The first…so, the Action cards are teal, I’d say?  Light blue?

 

On the left…top-left corner, they have a clock and then they have the word Action.  Then they have the major…the card…whatever, card title, I guess you’d say, and then two sets of instructions or kinda…rules or something.  So, the first one is Discontinuity.  This would be good for if you’re studying for one of those standardized tests or a spelling thing, if you had to spell it first.  Discontinuity.  All players pass their hands to the players next to them.  Oh boy, these ones are always a big rule…these ones are always useful in these style games.  You decide if the cards go left or right.  Don’t pass Mission or ID cards.  So, watch out; if you got a good hand, watch out for the Discontinuity card.  There’s two of those that I’ve seen thus far, so that’s good to know.  If you have two Discontinuity cards, you’re in good shape.

 

Okay, this one is another Action card; Get There First.  Without permission, take an Artifact or a Gadget.  Go back in time just before the moment when your opponent recovered an Artifact or Gadget and collect it yourself.  So, this is the one where you find…you follow them, then you jump in time before them, which could be inconvenient if you’re…if you have a good Artifact or Gadget.  There’s two of…no, no, there’s three of these ones, so that could be interesting.  Okay, this next Action is Your Parents Never Met.  The player of your choice must reveal and discard his or her ID — so you get IDs — and draw a new one.  Cool; I love…so, this is also roleplaying.  I’m excited to do…I’m excited to know what the IDs are.  Oh, another Get There First.  So, what does that make it?  Four?  Okay, It Never Existed.

 

Discard an Artifact or Gadget that is face-up in front of the play…any one player.  What never existed?  That way you get to zonk it out of existence.  You don’t get to take it but at least you get to get rid of it, so that’s a good…thinking of strategy, right?  You don’t want to over-plan for these cancellation cards, but you do have to think about them.  Okay, Action; New Mission.  Whoa boy, this is like titillation for the game.  Swap your Secret Mission with someone else’s or discard it and draw a new one.  So, we get to take on an ID and a New…and a Mission.  Now I’m really excited to play this game.  Okay, next Action; “Perform A Miracle” in quotes, though.  So, this has got a lot of rules, here.  So, discard one Artifact that is face-up in front of you.  Then, setting your hand aside, draw two cards, play one, and discard one.

 

So, that’s interesting, but then it also says Biblical Relics.  Make that draw three, play two, and discard one if your Artifact was one of these; Crown of Thorns, Ask the Covenant, Ancient Wisdom, or Golden Calf from EAC.  So, okay, so you discard a Artifact but you get to draw…so you get to get an extra turn, so maybe this is late game or if things just aren’t going well and you need…you say man, I need a extra turn, almost, to get something going.  Then if you have a Biblical Relic, you get to play two cards and discard one.  So, it’s kinda like…I don’t think I’m gonna use this Relic for my long-term strategy, so let me get the most out of it.  There were two of those.  The next one is Sell an Artifact; discard one Artifact that is face-up in front of you and then draw a card.

 

Dinosaur Bonus; if the Artifact is a live dinosaur, draw an extra card.  So, this one’s not as powerful as the last one but you still get to get rid of an Artifact.  It also means there’s a dinosaur in the game which reminds me of the game Dinosaur in Disney’s Animal Kingdom where you do go in time, so maybe they…that’s inspired by this…I mean, interesting.  I love pop culture references in games.  Okay, so then there’s two of those so far.  Then we have an Action card; Time Vortex.  Gather up the cards from everyone’s hands, not counting Missions or IDs.  Shuffle them out without look…shuffle them up without looking and then deal them out evenly, starting with yourself.  So, that’s like if things aren’t going well or you think someone’s big-timing the lead; shake it up.  Okay, so now we’re in Artifacts.

 

The Artifact has a pyramid shape on the left, then it says Artifact.  The cards are green and they include art, though.  This Artifact is unplayable during Uber Paradox.  U-B-E-R P-A-R-A-D-O-X.  For the love of Tiff Bannen…remember Tiff Bannen?  She was president in that time travel movie, 208055 or something.  Oh no, I’m thinking of Biff Tannen…sports almanac from the future.  Complete statistics sorted by date.  This was a book that Biff Tannen had, or similar to it, in Back to the Future 2.  It’s Grays Sports Almanac, 1950 to 2050.  Recovered from January 2051.  It’s just a Artifact.  Then…yeah, it doesn’t have anything else.  Okay, this next Artifact is Ancient Wisdom, and I think this was one of the Biblical ones.  The scrolls taken from the Library of Alexandria just before it went to the big library in the sky.

 

It has a picture of scroll…a scroll, and it’s recovered from 48 BCE.  Next Artifact is from…unplayable during Uber Paradox or Sunglasses.  There’s a small picture of sunglasses.  Beaters…Beatles…beaters…Beatles…Beatles Reunion Album on CD.  It has a picture of a CD.  Beatles Purple Submarine, with a purple submarine on it.  It says this card cannot be played or stolen unless there’s pink! — exclamation point — sunglasses.  If black sunglasses…Beatles Reunion CD in play may be substituted for any one Artifact [00:30:00] listed on your Mission.  That’s recovered from 1995’ but it has a apostrophe at the end, so that’s interesting.  Thorny Stuff; this was from 33 AD and has a picture.  Something for Tummy-tum Travel.  Tummy-tum-tum things, melt in your mouth, not in your hands.  Unplayable during Uber Paradox.

 

This is recovered from the future.  Has a picture of two melty-melts.  This is a Artifact; unplayable during some symbol I can’t quite understand.  This is German Cake, a slice of SchwarzWaldKuchen and a souvenir postcard from the New York’s World Fair.  Fresh and delicious.  Can only be played or stolen if pink…strange symbol that looks like two interconnected A’s in opposition.  Once in play, it can be discarded at any time and used as a Memo.  That’s interesting; Memo.  It cannot be used to stop theft of itself with…it cannot be used to stop theft of itself with Get There First.  This was recovered from September 1st, 1939’…apostrophe.  Next up it looks like broccoli but it says Jade Statue of Tirade.  Tirade.  Unplayable during Uber Paradox.

 

After it was gone, the sculpture was widely regarded as the greatest artwork of the 5000th millennium.  Always gets a full bonus for Sell an Artifact or Perform a Miracle.  It was recovered from July 10th, the year 4,936,585.  Oh, here’s somebody from the box; Live Brontosaurus.  Known in sometime streams as the Apotasaurus.  Her name is Emily and it’s the brontosaurus from the cover with a kinda Richard Scarry look to it in a good way.  Not Scarry in a cute way.  It was recovered from 149 million BCE.  Then we have Live Stegosaurus.  Her name…his name is Steggy.  He’s also happy.  He’s from 151 million BCE.  Oh boy, we keep them coming; Live Triceratops.  Her name is Sarah.  She’s from 66 million BCE.  Then we have a Live Tyrannosaurus.  His name’s Rex.  He’s from 65 million BCE.  Lost Ark of the Covenant.  This one is gold.

 

Looks right out of the movie…currently sealed up in a big, wooden crate.  Recovered from 587 BCE.  Then we have the Mona Lisa.  Mona; an Excellent Forgery.  Passes for the original if the real thing is not in play.  Oh, this is an Excellent Forgery.  The next one is Mona Lisa, an Obvious Forgery.  She has a moustache on her.  Can be passed off as the real thing if no others are in play.  Then we have the real Mona Lisa, the Real Thing.  That was from August 21st, 1911.  Then we have Rongo-Rongo Tablets.  Historical records of Easter Island, written in the lost language of Rongo-Rongo on wooden planks that the missionaries wasted because they were not smart.  That was recovered from 1865.  We have Shakespeare’s Last Play.  Mona and the Dragon, a play in five acts by William Shakespeare.

 

Newly discovered, in quotes, “Shakespearean manuscripts actually written by the time-rescued playwright 600 years after his own death.”  Recovered from 1616’ but with a apostrophe.  Here’s one; Tomorrow’s Newspaper Today.  It’s USA Tomorrow.  Stuff happened.  Lotto numbers, weather, sports, life, money.  That’s recovered from tomorrow.  Videotape Creation of the Universe, and it’s a Betamax tape; The First Day.  Do not erase.  Day 1.  It’s recovered from Day 1.  Alright, next up are some Gadgets which have a gear symbol.  They’re on a green but kinda blue-green.  Let’s see, the Gadget says really fast time machine.  If you have a Gadget on the table, you may play an extra Inverter or Patch and draw to replace it, and…after your normal turn action.  You may use only one Time Machine action per turn.

 

So you get to use this the whole time?  Oh, let’s see; Gadgets are played like Artifacts and may be stolen or un-existed like Artifacts.  However, Gadgets cannot be sold or used to perform miracles.  Also, new Gadgets are unplayable during a Uber Paradox.  Obey time speed limits…space limits.  So if you have the Gadget on the table, you may play an extra Inverter or Patch and draw to replace it after, so you get…you almost get an extra turn if you have an Inverter or Patch.  That’s cool.  The next one is a Teeny Tiny Time Machine, and it looks like it’s a portable one.  If you have this Gadget on the table, any Inverter you play works like a Reverse Fate…actual size.  You may only use one Time Machine action per turn.  I don’t know what Reverse Fate means though, but we’ll find out, I guess.

 

Okay, so now we do get into the Inverter cards.  So, it has the reverse symbol or the spiraling symbol with red and black arrows circling one another, and it says Inverter on it.  The cards are yellow.  They have a ‘no’ symbol with a picture.  This one’s of a famous ship or famous ships, and then it says Avert Fame…Trouble for Famous Ships.  You can flip one of the following; you could take the Titanic, the Lusitania, or the Hindenburg.  It also works for DCC or…I don’t understand, but it works for other stuff, too.  Avert Trouble, so I guess you get to change history.  Let’s see, there’s one…two of those.  This one is Halt Actions We Wouldn’t Be Happy About in History, and it has three famous ones and then it has more famous other ones throughout history.  So, it says Hey, Don’t Do That, Please.  There’s one of those.

 

This one is De-Farming Stuff; please de-farm this situation and keep this person from…so it says, hey…no, that person will not be visiting the big farm in history.  There’s actually three of those.  Then Restore History; you can flip any red historical pin from red to black.  Let’s see how many of those are…there’s two of those, then there’s Reverse Fate which means you can flip any pin in history from red to black.  Oh no, any way; it does…not just red or black.  There’s nine of those.  The next one, it’s kinda long.  It’s Inverter.  It’s from the Beastie Boys song.  It goes, I Can’t Stand It, I Know You Planned It, I’m Gonna Set It Straight, This Watergate.  So, it’s pretty…a lot to put on one card as a title.  I Can’t Stand It, I Know You Planned It, I’m Gonna Set It Straight, This Watergate.

 

It allows you to flip any famous…some famous historical things.  Okay, these ones are orange cards.  I guess they’re Patch cards.  When you draw a Patch…when you play a Patch, draw a card.  It has dates on it, it…this…these…this is a lot of information, so it says Patch on the bottom and then it says A2 on the bottom.  Then it has a date; 1868’, with a apostrophe.  February 24th, [00:40:00] and then an arrow going towards February 24th, then an arrow going back in 1868.  It says Abraham Lincoln impeached, but president gets out of it by one vote.  That’s nullified if you have Lincoln’s Hat, 1865.  Then 1817…or 1917…1917, keeping us out of that WW stuff.  President Wilson staying out of the WW’s just like he said he would.  That one is nullified if there’s a submarine at 1915.

 

The next one is 1918; European Economy is Booming.  That’s nullified if there’s a crown at 1914.  This is 1929, April 14th; Titanic doesn’t go anywhere.  Steamship stays around in 1929, April 14th.  It’s nullified though if there’s an iceberg in 1912.  1933; mild recession.  Yeah, things could be worse.  It says FDR.  That one’s nullified with an iceberg in 1912 or a…what do you call a submarine in 1915?  Fairgoers Love Cake.  This is 1935.  Black forest cake is served and is a big hit in the World’s Fair.  That’s September and that’s nullified if in 1936 there’s some strange symbol.  I don’t know what it means.  BP or something.  Okay, let’s see.  1944, Olympic games in Warsaw, Poland.  Jackie Robinson wins five gold medals for the US.  That could be nullified in 1936 or 1941.  Let’s see, we got…let me see.  Okay, World Peace, 1945.

 

See…August 6th.  That is a unstable Patch.  Nullified or playable only if 1945 is in nexus.  Checks for…check for viability before installing this Patch.  Let’s see, 1948, Berlin Hosts World’s Fair.  Six million tourists visit.  That could be nullified in 1936.  1950; Zeppelin Factory in Seoul, South Korea and withdraw of the US.  That can be nullified in 1937.  Okay, now we’re back.  Oh no, that’s…so now we’re back at the top of that stack, so I’m gonna grab the next deck.  Okay, so now we have more of these ones.  Peace accord signed in 1968.  That’s null…could be nullified in 1963.  1969; cosmonauts orbiting the moon.  That could be nullified in ‘57 or ‘63.  President King takes office after Nixon’s impeached.  That could be nullified…oh, that’s 1974…in 1865 or 1963.  Green stuff’s legal in 1986 with President Mandale.

 

That could be nullified in 1980 or 1981.  Reinvention of communism; 1991.  That could be nullified in 1981.  Okay, now we still have some Chrononauts cards.  These are Timewarps and they have a symbol.  These are kind of a purplish-magenta.  Fast Forward; immediately draw two more cards and put them in your hand, and then play two cards.  Draw two cards, then put them in play.  Put them in your hand and play two cards.  Note; time-wasting.  Discarding an extra card and drawing a replacement is a valid option any time you choose to discard a card instead of playing it.  Next Timewarp is a Memo from your future self.  Play it any time to cancel a card as it’s being played.  So, this is an important one.  Discard the target card and proceed with the next game action.

 

Using this card will reduce your hand size by one.  So, you probably should save that for when you have a good hand and someone tries one of those ones to mess around.  Then you get another Memo From Your Future Self.  Timewarp; Quick Trip into Our Future.  Scurry into the future to get what you need and then come back to this exact moment but…so no one knows you were gone.  You get to look through the draw pile, choose a card other than a Timewarp, re-shuffle the deck not including the discard pile, and play the card.  So, it’s another use of one Timewarp.  There’s two of those.  Then there’s Timewarp: Rewind.  Remove any card other than Timewarp from the discard pile and immediately play it.  Although, anyone may look through the discard pile at any time.

 

Rewind; remove any card from the discard pile and play it.  Okay, interesting, but anyone can look through the discard pile.  There’s one, two, three, four Rewinds.  Okay, now we’re getting into these other cards.  The next card is the ID card.  These are different cards; they have a different back.  It looks a little bit like a passport but it says ID on it.  Then it has kinda space-type writing and a person’s ID picture.  I’m not kidding; the first one is Andy, which is pretty funny.  So, these are your ID…so, 1939, there’s three dates on there.  Two are orange and one is blue.  Two are red and one is blue, so you have a 1939’ apostrophe with the German cake thing in red, then you have 1969 in black…Apollo 11 landed on the moon.  Then 1986 in red.  It says legalize the green stuff.

 

Then it has your kinda thing…like a whole thing, like their backstory.  So, that’s kinda fun.  So, waiting to become my future self.  Then there’s Betty who wants to help JFK, there’s a Fruitbasket, Bob who?  Let’s see, Gunther…it’s not a watch; it’s a Timex.  Mr. X, love Zeppelins, Oliver, how Shakespeare lived to be 653, Rainbow, Renee…so, these ones I don’t want to read the whole thing.  They all have little stories about them and yeah, there’s quite a few of them, so it looks fun.  I don’t know if you randomly get those, but that could be fun.  Okay, so then you have mission cards that have a sealed letter with your mission on there.  So, these must be the ones that are the most important.  Articles of Faith; you have to have three of the Artifacts on the table in front of you at the end of your turn.

 

Oh, all three; the Thorny thing, the Ark of the Covenant, and the Videotape.  If you’re playing UberChrononauts, the Golden Calf can be substituted.  Okay, Cheaters Win is the next Mission.  So, that one you need to get the Almanac, the Mona Lisa Forgery, and Shakespeare’s Play.  Cretaceous Park; you gotta have three of the four dinosaurs, Stegosaurus, Brontosaurus, Tyrannosaurus, and Triceratops.  That one, you’re helping make Jurassic Park.  Great Mysteries; so, you need the Rongo-Rongo Tablets, the Ark of the Covenant…so, you could be in problems if you’re going for this and the other person…Videotape Creation…yeah, a lot of the Missions are…so then Mona and a dinosaur; so, that’s Shakespeare’s Play, any dinosaur and the Mona Lisa.  The most convincing one in play.  All three Mona Lisa’s…that’s another one.

 

Mona Lisa Triptych.  A Museum of Lost Treasures; you need Ancient Wisdom, the Rongo-Rongo Tablets, and the Covenant.  Scientists’ Wish List; it says it’s cool scientific stuff, stuff from the future.  You need three of the four…Almanac, [00:50:00] Newspaper, Jade Statue, or Tummy-tubby-tubs.  Tomorrow’s Wisdom Today; Newspaper, Wisdom, or the Videotape.  You need all three of those.  So, those are the Missions.  Then you have these turning points in history, and they…okay, so these are the ones you flip over that have a red side and a…with a…the, whatever you call it, apostrophe.  So that’s, I guess, if you change it.  So, there’s Lincoln, Andrew Johnson, Titanic, Ferdinand, different things in history that aren’t so hot.

 

Yeah, so a lot of history that you say okay, wait a second, here…oh, so some of those are…okay, no, so we have a couple different ones.  There’s two different things; there’s History Points and then there’s Paradoxes, so I gotta separate them.  The History Points are purple on one side and red on the other side.  Then there’s other ones that are Paradoxes; 1999, and you can restore those somehow.  But those are also like turning points, I guess, that you could…they’re Ripple Points instead of turning points.  So, I guess they’re also changing points in history.  So, yeah, I mean, those are all part of the game, too.  Now, as our last few minutes, let’s figure out how to play this.  So, you’re a time traveler with a unique identity, according to the rules.  A secret mission and an important job; paradox repair.

 

So, this game is played all with the cards but it has a feel of a board game since history is represented by a grid of thirty-two cards called the timeline.  Okay, so all those Paradox cards and the turning point cards are all the timeline, so you set those up in a eight-by-four grid on the table according to the time index A, B, C, and D, so it’s pretty easy to lay out.  Then you create shuffle, draw piles for each of the type and deal one to each card; a Mission card, an Identity card, and then the main deck…that you get three cards.  So, you can win one of three ways; go home…if your character can return to the alternative…alternate reality listed on your ID card.  Oh, so the dates on the cards must appear on the timeline as…exactly as they do on your ID card when your turn ends.

 

So, you can turn dates red or black, so fixed Paradoxes are effective events.  You could also complete your Mission with the three Artifacts on your Mission card on the table in front of you at the end of your turn, or achieving power and success; after completing your turn, you have ten cards in your hand, not counting your ID and Mission, you win.  You can only claim victory at the end of your turn.  So, how to play; to determine who goes first, all players will guess the current time.  Whoever comes closest starts the game.  Players take turns doing the following; draw one, take the top card, add it to your hand, then play one.  Choose any card in your hand and either play it or discard it.  If you can’t or don’t want to play any of your cards, you must discard one.

 

If you choose to discard a card instead of playing, you may also choose to discard a second card and then draw one to replace it.  This is called wasting time.  As we went over, there’s three kinds of card types; there’s Artifacts which are part of mission objectives.  When playing an Artifact, place it up…face-up on the table in front of you.  These are amazing items from the past or the future which only a time traveler can acquire.  There’s Gadgets, things that do stuff which you place face-down on the table in front of you.  Gadgets have their own special features you can use later.  Follow the instructions on the card.  Then you have Actions which are single-use event cards.  When you play an Action card, do whatever it says, then discard it.  You have Timewarps; sometimes Timewarps are powerful Action cards.

 

Do whatever it says, then discard it.  Inverters are how to change history, so those are the ones you can flip over.  History has three…thirteen turning point events, each identified by a unique icon.  You can turn them to True or Prime.  Inverters are used to reverse these pinpoint…these turning points in history.  There’s several kinds of Inverters, some of which can be used on anyone, and some have to be used on specific ones.  When you play one Inverter, turn over the turning point you want to flip, then adjust all the Ripple Points that change as a result.  See below as examples.  Then there’s Patches which you repair history.  When a turning point changes, all the other events on the Timeline change as well.  At first, holes called Paradoxes will appear.  These holes are repaired with Patches.

 

A Patch can only be played on its corresponding Paradox on the timeline.  To Patch a year, place a Patch card over the Paradox.  When you do this, you immediately get to draw a card as payment from the Time Repair Agency.  Some Patches have special properties.  Patches are nullified and removed from history…removed from the Timeline and discarded if history’s changed again.  Then…yeah, there’s a lot of…there’s optional ways to play, there’s Know Your Mission, there’s Temporal Anomalies, Know Your ID card, common questions…you can also get expansion sets, you can take an identity mulligan if you just played the same character.  Then there’s example of timelines and…to kinda get a idea of what happens if you change a turning point in history and then it creates a Ripple Point or Paradoxes.

 

So, it does seem like this will take a little bit of learning.  I’m hoping this is a game I can actually be better than my daughter on ‘cause currently all the games we play, she wins pretty much all the time.  Or the games that I actually have a chance at winning at, we don’t…say well, I don’t know if I want to play that, dad.  I say, let me just…that’s my job.  I’m here to boost your self-esteem.  Your ID card has all the details about the character you’re playing.  The bottom-half is informational; the top-half lists the three events that define your home reality.  One of these will be a real event.  The other two are alternate realities that are described on Patches.  To win…to get home, you have to reshape the timeline to match all three.  You win only if all three of your headlines are on the timeline.

 

The 13th Paradox; Paradoxes are not good, so each one is…creates a hole in the time-space continuum and needs to be patched.  If there’s too many open at once, there’ll be trouble time, and everybody loses, and you get…that’s why you get paid for fixing Paradoxes.  Alright, so this is Chrononauts and I’m looking forward to playing it, from Looney Labs.  You can let me know; say Scoots, how’d it go?  How was it?  I say well, it’s probably a lot of fun.  Also, they sent me this thing that sent Fluxx’s 25.  These are some tiny gifts from Looney Labs since they were…they’re celebrating a big anniversary, so I’m just gonna open this for fun.  The cool thing is it came sealed.  What is this?  I’ll tell you on the other side.  It says greeting, friends.

 

To celebrate our silver anniversary of gifts, here’s a gift for you and a gift to give to a friend.  You’ve found a set of cards for Tiny Fluxx with a fold-it-yourself tiny box along with another envelope.  Don’t open it; it’s for a friend of yours.  So, you could give somebody else a set of Tiny Fluxx cards with their own fold-up-box, someone who has yet to try Fluxx.  So, Looney Labs has been making games for twenty-five years now and they’ve been…I mean, that’s really a testament to a company, that they’ve been around for twenty years.  Kristin and Andy Looney, and so…oh yeah, they make Fluxx which I played a lot with one of my buddies, Nick.  Now they have…I mean, they have so many different versions of Fluxx, too, so shout out to everybody at [01:00:00] Looney Labs.  Thanks, thanks, everybody, and goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(www.leahtranscribes.com)

Notable Language:

• Sha Na Na Knots
• Discontinuity
• Zonk it out of existence

Notable Culture:

• Tina Turner
• Yellow Submarine
• The Beastie Boys

Notable Talking Points:

• Only one year from the 1800s made the cover
• Please De-Farm this Situation
• Scooter hopes he can be better at this game than his daughter