1003 – Clues | Sleepy Star Trek TNG

Notable Language:

• Yodeling up the mountain to prices
• Ethnobotany Hobby
• Adrenal Reaction

Notable Culture:

• The Price is Right
• Wayne Brady
• Decorating Disney: Holiday Magic

Notable Talking Points:

• Shoutout to that great bbq in Downey, CA
• Ears almost elven
• Mystery is Irresistible

Episode 1003 – Clues | Sleepy Star Strek TNG

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Lay…oops, patrons, friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and fans of lays everywhere…you say, I love those lays.  No, I was…well, which lays did I make you think of?  The ones you wear around your neck or the ones you snack on that come in a tube?  Either way, I agree with you.  Oh boy, you better wash your mind out with soap.  But thanks, patrons, for making this silliness possible.  It’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, things on your mind that you’ve been thinking about.  So, it could be thoughts, it could be feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally that you’re feeling about.  So, you could be thinking about stuff, you could be feeling stuff, you could be phys…it could be physical sensations or feelings as well, it could be changes in time or temperature or routine.

 

Whatever it is…it could be something else.  You say Scoots, what about this?  I say well, thanks for letting me know about that.  When I get e-mails like that, I’m serious, too.  I’m like whoa, really?  I was unaware of that or wow, I haven’t experienced that but I could totally relate.  That sounds like it’s not great for sleep.  So, whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off of that and what I’m gonna do or what I propose to do is I’m gonna send my voice across…I’m gonna try to create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake.  I think I said that part.  Then…thoughts, feelings, mind…physical sensation…all you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.

 

I don’t know, sometimes I get mixed up or sometimes I get mixed up right away; sometimes I get mixed up early, but what I’ll do…really, what I’m here to do is keep you company while you fall asleep, so I’m gonna try to create a safe place.  I said that repeatedly.  I’m gonna smooth it, I’m gonna pat it, I’m gonna rub it down, I’m gonna say safe place, I’m gonna do some magician hands or like I’m on a game show-type hands.  Well, it used to be on game shows that…maybe we could come back to this, but that people…like, there would be prizes.  Nowadays most game shows, they’re either a monetary reward…well, I’m not sure.  I don’t really watch a lot of game shows, so I could be wrong.  Usually I…when I say I could be wrong, I’m usually right.

 

Every time I’ve said I could be wrong I’m…I was right 100% of the time, except for the times I was wrong and I was actually right.  Okay, but so…oh, what I’m gonna do is create a safe place…set aside…send my voice across the deep, dark night, I’m gonna use lulling, soothing yet creaky, dulcet tones.  Oh, so creaky are my dulcet tones.  That’s on a game show; they say how creaky are they, Bob?  Bob would say well, Scooter…thanks, Scooter.  Well, I don’t know.  That’s usually the game show; they say well, at first you get two…there used to be a game show…it’s still on, I think.  The Price is Right, right?  There used to be the big prizes; the Showcase Showdown or something?

 

A lot of times it was something…at least me, I would have been a little bit…I say well, I don’t have a…like, I don’t know if there was a higher percentage of the population that had lake access and three-car garages in the 80s.  ‘Cause it’d be like well, it’s a boat with two jet skis and an ice machine and something else.  You say, okay.  I live in an apartment, though.  Or, I mean, it takes place in Los Angeles, right?  You say yeah, I live in Los Angeles.  Or shout-out to Downey.  Oh boy, did I have…I went to a great BBQ in Downy once.  So, you’d say yeah, I mean, I have a driveway but I can’t really put a boat and two jet skis and my car in it.  They say, tell him what he’s…they’ve won, Bob.  I just did.  Then the game player was actually…they haven’t even won the Showcase Showdown and they’re objecting to it.

 

Actually, Bob, they’re here for a sleep podcast; nothing to do with a game show or boats or prizes.  Oh, sorry, ‘cause I’m…oh, so…oh, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents along with my creaky, dulcet tones to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company while you fall asleep.  So if you’re new, I’m really glad you’re here and I really hope I can help you.  This podcast does not work for everybody.  I just want to tell you that right up…well, right upfront.  You say, so, you’ve been talk…it’s ten minutes into the show.  I say, yeah.  That’s kinda part of the sleep magic we do around here, the sleepy wind-down magic.  So, let’s see.  Oh, I…sorry, I forgot what I was gonna talk…I mean, I know…or, I always know what I’m gonna talk about.  So, give the show a few tries.

 

I hope it can work for you but I’m gonna give you some information too to help make it easier, maybe to clarify.  You say oh, this is not the podcast for me, or maybe it is.  So, a couple things that…first of all, if you’re skeptical or doubtful, that’s totally normal ‘cause all of us that have trouble sleeping have tried a bunch of stuff and you say well, I don’t like that, doesn’t work for me, got on my nerves.  So, I understand your skepticism.  So, that’s one part.  Then, let’s see, the other parts…okay, so, the show…other things that can throw new listeners off is one, the fact that I never get to the point and repeat myself and that this isn’t really a podcast you pay attention to or listen to.  It’s a kind of a podcast you barely pay attention to, kinda like on a game show.

 

Sometimes you’d say well, I’m gonna…like, if it’s a game you’re interested in you say oh boy…or a game you feel like you could participate in, you say oh boy, I’m gonna pay attention.  But then when they do a game…like, they had this one game on The Price is Right; I don’t know if they still have it ‘cause I haven’t stayed home from school in a long time and that would be my prime time to watch that.  But they had this thing…it was like, yodeling to price or yodeling up the mountain to prices.  I don’t know how it was played but there was a wooden yodeler who was climbing a mountain and you had to figure something out.  You say oh, it ends in…oh, .09.  The can of Campbell’s soup is over two dollars but less than four.  They’d say, yodel-a-hee-hoo, and somehow you’d win.

 

So, that one I probably would be paying attention to just ‘cause it was…but there might have been other games where you say I’m not…I’m gonna…you know what?  I’m gonna go fix myself a can of Campbell’s soup or something because you say well…during that…before the commercial.  That’s what this podcast is kinda like all the time.  You say well, I’m gonna kinda close my eyes and barely listen to Scoots ‘cause he’s talking about something that I just don’t…I almost understand but I don’t quite understand it.  I can’t believe he’s waited this long to say how much he loves Wayne Brady as host of…oh, some part of my brain said Wayne Brady’s not the host of Wheel of Fortune.  But I say well, that’s unfortunate.  It may be Drew Carey, then.  If it’s not Wayne Brady…Wayne Brady…are you sure it’s not Wayne Brady?

 

I mean, not that I…what if…could they host that show together?  I think Drew Carey did host it.  I don’t know.  Anyway, so, where was I?  Oh, you don’t really need to listen to me.  There you go.  I pointed that out; just don’t…just barely pay me any mind.  This is also a podcast that doesn’t really put you to sleep.  I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep.  That’s why the episodes are over an hour, to give you plenty of time to drift off and so you could fall…kinda fall asleep whenever you feel like it.  I’m here to keep you company or if you wake up or if you can’t sleep, I’ll be here.  I’m here to be your bore-bae, your bore-buzz…bore-buzz…bud, bore-best…maybe I’ll give you a bore-buzz.  Or if you’re having a bore-buzz, I can help ease you into bedtime.

 

So, that’s the thing; I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep and if you can’t sleep, I’m here to keep you company, too.  The other thing that throws people off is the structure of the show, and it’s just hard figuring out a sleep podcast that could be free and help the most amount of people.  So, some people adapt to the show in their own ways but in order to be here twice a week, [00:10:00] this is how we kinda got to the structure we’re at now.  The show starts off with a greeting so you feel welcome and seen, then there’s listener support and business for the show.  Then there’s the intro which is around twelve to twenty minutes.  That’s a big part of the show.  It’s a show within the show.  We’re within the intro right now, and that gives you some distance between your daytime and your nighttime.

 

It eases you into bedtime or for a lot of listeners, it’s part of their wind-down routine.  I guess as you become a normal listener…’cause I see people say well, I start the show at twenty minutes or I start the show at twelve minutes or…and I say well, okay, you could do that, but I don’t know, I really designed the show in a way…I say okay, we’re gonna ease you into bedtime, so by the time we get to twenty minutes or thirty minutes in the show, we start…we’re in the bedtime story part and you’re drifting off or ideally sound asleep.  But if you’re not, I’m here to keep you company.  If you fall asleep early, I’m here.  But that’s just kinda how…it’s very adaptable, though a few percentage of people start the show around twenty minutes.

 

There’s people on Patreon that just listen to intros and people that just listen to story-only episodes.  So, it’s kinda interesting.  So, that’s the intro, then there’s business between the intro and the show.  Again, that’s how I’m able to be here for you, and then there’s our bedtime story.  Tonight it’ll be looking at an episode of Star Trek TNG but in a very indirect and over-detailed way.  So if you’ve never seen it before or you’ve seen it a thousand times, you say oh, I don’t even know what you’re talking about.  Sounds like a bedtime story about the android that couldn’t tell the truth but wanted to, but didn’t want to tell the truth because they…because of their…that’s what this episode…you say oh, I have no idea what you’re talking about.  So, that’s how…that’s the structure of the show.

 

The reason I make the show is twofold; one, I’ve been there tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, so I know how it feels and I’d like to help.  The other reason is you deserve a good night’s sleep.  If I can help with that, it would be my honor because one, I know how it feels but two, if you get some rest, your world’s gonna be a better place, our world’s gonna be a better place.  It’d be my honor to help with that, to be a part of that.  That’s really what I believe, and that…I think that’s it.  I’m really glad you came by.  Like I said, give the show a few tries.  Hundreds of thousands of people have said it took two or three tries before it wasn’t getting on my nerves and I realized oh, you just fall asleep to it.  Never gets started; it just kind of always is halfway running.  So, that’s it.  I’m glad you’re here, I really work hard, I yearn and I strive, and I really hope I can help you fall asleep.  Thanks again for coming by.  Here’s a couple ways I’m able to be here for you twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, it’s Scoots here.  We’re talking Star Trek: The Next Generation, Season 4, Episode 14; Clues.  I pretty much watched this video on some suggestions but just because Guinan was on the Holodeck.  You say wait a second, Guinan’s gonna be on the Holodeck as a part of a Dixon Hill mystery?  Here’s one thing; if I had a Holodeck, some…Charlotte had asked me this on a Facebook AMA or a Patreon AMA.  Now that I think about it, here’s what I’d do if I had a Holodeck; well, either way I would either have Guinan go to Disney World on the holiday season with Whoopi Goldberg or to have Whoopi Goldberg go to the…as part of a new holiday special, ‘cause she’s a big fan.

 

I don’t know if you’ve seen her Disney special, but I would have Whoopi…I think I’d better…if Whoopi was explaining to Guinan what Disney World…like, I would watch that probably every day of the rest of my life.  I mean, if I could be there in-person, that would be even better.  Not participating, though.  Maybe just standing off to the side or working there and being like oh, ginger…you don’t know what a gingerbread shingle is?  Well, thanks, Whoopi; let me hold it here for you like I’m…you know what I’m saying?  You say Scoots, what are you…Disney’s Decorating Magic or something?  I think that’s…might be what it was called.  I guess I feel like I’m doing a live show ‘cause I’m waiting for parts of my brain to respond and be like oh, of course, Scoots, I know what that show is.  I said, weren’t you watching it with me?

 

Don’t you live inside my brain?  Doesn’t that sound appealing to you, Guinan and Whoopi together at the Grand Floridian Hotel lobby or other places, like interviewing cast members?  Oh, you’re here for Star Trek: The Next Generation.  Okay.  Alright, well, you just…I mean, I thought you wondered about my…okay, so we…we’re…yeah, we’re here.  The Enterprise crosses the screen from…it starts on the bottom-left side of the screen, crosses towards the center.  I’ve decided to attempt to start keeping track of that.  We’ll do our…the new style, so it starts off with Worf teaching a tai…like a tai chi-esque class.  Then we have Beverly Crusher working on plants?  Question mark, like grammar school with the paper towels.  So, this is something you used to do in grammar school in the 1980s.

 

This is gonna take a lot of explanation so it’s perfect for a sleep podcast.  So, a couple things if you didn’t live in the 1980s.  Totally cool; I mean, it was radical, as they say.  But so, you probably heard me talk about it…maybe not recently.  There used to be this thing, and I know this…explaining this might sound ridiculous to some people, but it’s really not.  This is what meing…being open to all our listeners means.  It’s also fun explaining this.  So, once upon a time when you went to one of these stores…in most kinds…like, here’s the ones I’m thinking of; Kmart, Fay’s, which was our drug store, probably the supermarket, but usually your parents were in a hurry at the supermarket, so it was a different relational shopping experience, and other stores.

 

But let’s just stick with Kmart and Fay’s Drugs which was the two places where I had the most experience with these machines.  There was machines…now, there was a traditional penny and then it became a nickel, then it became a dime, then…now it’s a quarter to get some gum.  But there was also machines that were usually a quarter where you could get a small toy or a sticker, usually a ring that you would get…this kinda stuff you’d get at birthday party giveaways or when you go to that…actually, the exact same stuff they give you…my daughter only had one bouncy house birthday party at the bouncy house birthday party place, and everyone got a bag of things, like little gifts.  That was a part of the package or whatever.

 

Those are the kind of things you would get out of the $0.25 thing, but it came in this plastic capsule which I’m surprised…here’s…entrepreneurs out there, find out where there’s unused…of these empty capsules and buy them and use them…like, repurpose them.  But one way we would repurpose them in science class was you’d take a piece…and I don’t know what plant we were growing, and I actually have attempted this at home and I’ve never successfully germinated a seed this way, but it always worked in science class.  You’d take a wet piece of paper towel, you’d put a seed on it, then you’d put it inside this capsule and it was like it’s own…what is that thing called?  A greenhouse or whatever?  It was where…I guess I didn’t learn anything.

 

Yeah, I did; I learned about repurposing things, so it was actually…unintentionally they taught us one of the more important lessons.  Maybe it was on purpose and I just wasn’t paying attention to that part, but it was like, talk about an environmental lesson.  Don’t throw these plastic capsules out.  Let’s reuse them to create nature or whatever, foster nature on its way.  But so, Beverly Crusher is using something like that to make some sort of plants, it looks like.  Oh boy, so then we have Guinan and she has sunglasses on.  She’s chewing gum and she has a cigarette on a long cigarette holder and she’s dressed up.  She says she’s Gloria from Cleveland.  She’s at Dixon Hill’s office.  We’ll go through the dialogue soon, but she closes her glasses with this flourishing snap.  Radar…I don’t know.  Oh, radio on the desk.

 

Look hun, don’t…the…don’t take it personal.  2:10…stockings.  There’s a lady; Gloria…oh, and I put for comedy, three…there’s a very comedic sequence.  This is like the…oh, this is the…this whole sequence is also…it was very cool.  This is the episode…[00:20:00] one of those episodes that you could probably…you’re probably better off watching three times ‘cause you’ll learn…there’s so many gems, but then you can really appreciate the acting on the second or third time even more.  Just trust me.  But this sequence between Gloria and…eventually I’ll know the…Dixon Hill’s assistant.  It’s like the…it teaches you improvisation but the opposite way ‘cause instead of saying yes, they say no to everything, the two characters.  I just thought it was a cool…a little exercise to watch.  You say, is it daytime?  No.

 

I mean, this doesn’t actually…no, it’s nighttime.  Oh, but I’m looking out the window and it’s daytime.  That’s not a window; it’s a movie screen.  So, that was kinda like what it is.  Da Doll.  Lights out.  She walks by.  Busted.  Yeah.  Sound effects…Tommy.  Action or else.  From outside…oh, big music.  Oh, there’s a…so, during the action sequence in Dixon Hill’s office, Gloria…Guinan actually WTF’s Picard.  It was one…like a total…it was so good.  She really says…I mean, she doesn’t use those words but she says what are you doing, man?  This is what you do for fun?  Then the comedy gets better ‘cause he is so happy.  He’s like yeah, this is awesome.  But then Picard gets a call.  What does that say?  Modherhenda.  Matter lena…Madeline.  Oh, that’s his assistant; Madeline.

 

Less intrusive…Data…foot up…oh, when Data’s on the…Data’s calling from the bridge.  His foot-ups…he has his knee up like sometimes Riker does, and he’s leaning…his foot’s up on a console and he’s leaning on his knee.  Pushed Hal off.  24th celery.  Mystery cran.  No, no.  I have no idea what any of that is.  Picard; hat off.  24th century mystery.  Okay.  Carry on.  No, no.  Then we’re on the bridge.  A hole, a wormhole, captain.  Data looks, moves enough…everybody falls asleep, and the episode opens.  So, okay, yeah, it’s Stardate 445027.7.  One, two, three, four, five, six, seven…seven plus people in Worf’s class.  Or maybe just Worf’s the leader.  Then we see Beverly working on her plants.  She’s putting them in some sort of machine.  Very…she’s very focused.

 

Then we have Dixon Hill, private eye.  2:10…is that his office?  If it’s 210, my mind is blown because that was my childhood address.  Oh no; 312.  So, he’s on the third floor just in case.  Now we have Gloria from Cleveland.  The office is very well…great set; has a fan, typewriter, different pencils at different lengths.  One, two, three, four pencils.  Photos and paintings on the wall.  The clock’s at 2:10.  We learn about…Guinan struggled to figure out what…the stocking/garter situation.  I say no, I would have had problems, too.  She’s got a great…what is that?  A teal jacket dress on.  Oh no, it’s a two piece, so it’s a jacket with a dress.  Yeah, I guess that’s…or a skirt.  I don’t know.  She’s got gloves, jewels.  Madeline’s wearing a outfit; she has a sweater on over a…this thing that looks like she’s about to go to a 80s dance club.

 

But she has a sweater over it, so then it tones it down.  But if she took her sweater off, it has yellow and red with squares.  I say, wait, I think I had that shirt when I was in like, fourth grade and I used to put a lot of hair gel in.  Oh no, that was when I still had a bowl cut, but I wish I would have…kids in the Hi-C commercials, they had hair gel in.  Gloria walks by into the private office.  We got somebody in there.  Picard’s playing along.  He goes in and out of character.  Refers to Gloria from Cleveland as his cousin.  Sorry about this.  Didn’t mean to get you involved.  She knows nothin’ about this, Johnny.  Gloria’s like…or Guinan’s still learning…there’s even comedy with them raising their hands.  I just got that for the first time.

 

Then started teal…tease out the Dixon Hill mystery, which kinda sets up the broader thematics of this episode, but it’s actually not contained…none of it is actually a…this isn’t a Holodeck episode.  So, now they’re on the floor and then she says what are you doing, man?  He says, this is what I love doing.  It’s mystery.  We got the clues; now we have to solve it.  Then she’s like, you know when you used…she’s like wow, I really don’t understand you but I love being your friend, more or less, and I love your enthusiasm, but I don’t share it.  But I appreciate it.  She goes, this is fun for you?  He goes oh boy, is it fun.  Then he goes to the window to look for the next clue.  This was an escape room before escape rooms, I guess.  Picard would love…I mean, he probably could; he could imagine it.

 

Shakespearean escape room with Jean-Luc Picard.  Alright, Madeline…he gets the call.  It’s Data.  He goes, I thought it’d be less intrusive if I called you versus just…PA’d you.  He goes, thanks.  What’s up?  We got a weird planet coming up.  T-tauri star in a Ngame cloud.  Nothing unusual about that.  No, but there’s a single M-Class planet.  So, he goes, that is unusual.  Highly, sir.  Thank you, Data.  Let’s investigate according to procedure.  Recall the crew.  Set a course.  Then he says sorry Gloria, 24th century mystery I gotta investigate.  He goes, you want to carry on here?  She goes, did you hear me say…no.  I’ve had enough of this fun for today.  Then Guinan goes off which I think this is the last time she appears, or they appear.  Then we’re on the bridge.  Data’s talking about it, then he…then something formulates, something weird.

 

Hole?  A wormhole.  First it disappeared.  Small, unstable.  Been mapped before on thirty-nine T-tauri systems before.  Riker says let’s get outta here.  Okay.  Then they get wormholed.  Everybody falls asleep and then the episode opens.  We start to get clues right away.  They’re asleep, they wake up.  Data’s helping everybody wake up ‘cause he did not fall asleep.  There were some good off-main-screen acting from some of the main players.  Something Data…too much…oh, Data tries to give info and Picard goes, that’s good enough, Data, ‘cause he goes on and on and on.  Oh, I did write down that I was gonna try to keep…how many H-E double hockey sticks got said in this episode, but I didn’t.  I don’t know if this was the only one.

 

You gotta reset the clock just like a…turns out the Enter…what do the Enterprise and a microwave have in common?  If they lose power, you gotta reset the clock.  Then Crusher calls in for info.  Oh, this was interesting; she calls the bridge.  She’s like, everything alright up there?  She goes, is everyone alright up there, actually, and Picard goes, everything’s fine on the bridge.  But I was like, that isn’t what she asked.  She says, is everybody okay?  Then…all of the ship’s okay.  Then Troi’s gotta…she puts her head in her hand.  She takes a breath.  She says yeah, my…this…my head’s bothering me…lost.  They say, what’s wrong?  She goes, I don’t know, I lost focus for a second but I’m okay now.  Let’s see, nothing so serious.  LaForge here.  Geordi calls, everything’s fine.  Worf says everything’s fine with his end.

 

[00:30:00] Counselor, you okay?  Yeah, just out of focus or something.  She goes, it’ll pass.  Not too bad, all things considered.  Lucky we didn’t end up halfway across the galaxy.  Data goes…Data droidsplains; he goes, that was an impossibility.  Small wormhole.  Short period.  Local phenomenon.  They go, what about this M-Class planet?  Should we go back?  Data goes no, too unpredictable.  But we could launch a probe.  Picard goes okay, make it so.  Launch the probe.  Then we get a cool special effect of the probe launching, which I don’t know if we’ve necessarily seen before.  Then O’Brien’s got a elbow hurt and he’s with Dr. Crusher.  He was hanging plants when the…everybody fell asleep.

 

This is a bit strange to say, but…with the chief’s curly hair, I’ve never seen his ears before and I almost felt like he has nearly-elven ears.  I don’t know, I’m not saying it in a goof way.  I just said, what?  His ears were almost elven.  They’re not elven but the…I don’t know, it just made…I just wrote it down ‘cause I thought of it.  Beverly’s plants have fully grown.  Oh, also he has sharp sideburns.  She goes, Alyssa?  Is that the…her…the…one of the other doctors or physicians?  Beverly’s stressed.  She goes, you didn’t by chance touch any of my stuff, did you?  I said, holy passive question.  She goes, doctor, no.  I would never touch any of your stuff.  Sorry Alyssa, just in case you did touch my stuff.  I said wow, that’s some work tension there.  Then they’re on the bridge.  T-tauri; we got a video of it from the probe.

 

Wait a second, it’s not a Class-M planet.  It’s a helium-hydrogen planet, frozen.  Riker goes wait, it was an M-Class, though.  He goes, why did…say one thing…Data goes, the wormhole messed up our readings, I guess.  Interference, probably.  Not a M-Class planet.  But you can’t get a…I mean, here’s the thing; I remember the first time…and again, sometimes people get…this is just the facts and part of growing up for me, and the fact that there’s different kinds of intelligence.  One of the things I like about Star Trek is that Picard and Riker, they’re not…they’re much more intelligent than me.  That’s sometimes what you like in a leader.  Or most of the time I guess you’d want that in a leader.

 

It’s sometimes…now, some people are just more intelligent or more intellectual or they have a better cognitive ability to remember stuff and put it together, and other people have different skills, right?  I’m good at this, so it doesn’t mean it’s less than.  It’s just a alternative to, but I remember the first time I realized that there was people that were…had a much stronger intellect than me that were the same…in my…that were in my peer group.  It was both humbling and impressive.  I remember the first time…it was a…in a cohort, I guess, kind of…type situation.  She was my age and she was presenting this theory about something.  The way she explained it and the depth of her thinking was…like, literally was beyond my cognitive ability and she was able to then reformulate her thoughts and then present them to me and other people.

 

It was just humbling ‘cause I said wow, your ability to conceptualize, understand…and there’s other words, again; this is an example of it, to distill and process the information and then change it around and represent it…but even to grasp those concepts that she was grasping and intellectualizing was well beyond mine.  Now, this episode, you see that the power of this in leadership of…and why Starfleet and the Enterprise in particular, even in the last episode, they said this is one of the hardest ships to get an assignment on when you have many people.  So, you have Crusher, you have Riker, you have Picard, and then you have Geordi, Worf, and Troi, all…and I guess they all have different sub-specialties and maybe varying degrees of this intellect, but you see it right…playing out right now because…with…Riker says hey, don’t you think it’s a little specific?

 

Riker says that’s…yeah.  A sensor would give us a specific misreading?  I don’t buy it.  Time-space disturbance wouldn’t have…would have caused more confusion.  Doesn’t compute.  Data tries to collect him.  Maybe we should survey other stuff, but it would take like, six days.  Picard goes no, no time for that.  Minor mystery, one that has been solved to my satisfaction, unless there’s an objection, Number One.  Better get moving.  First Riker says no objection.  Then we see Data go back to his work, but there is a zoom on his face that’s intentional and some great acting if you rewatch it.  Then Picard’s in his Ready Room and Beverly comes in.  Beverly…Dr. Beverly Crusher.  She says, I got a minor mystery.  He goes, minor mystery?  That’s a recurring phase.  Then she has her plants.  Diomedian scarlet moss.

 

Didn’t know you were an ethno-botanist.  She goes, it’s a hobby.  He goes, this is impressive crop.  Not easy to cultivate.  She goes, yeah.  Gets weirder than that; these were spores yesterday, or maybe an hour ago.  Oh no…thirty seconds ago or something.  She goes, this is at least a full day’s growth.  Picard goes, maybe it’s something weird.  Fast growth?  She goes no, these are all different strains, all from different sources, and they grew at the same rate.  A dozen more in the lab.  Maybe one of them, but it doesn’t make sense again.  So you see Riker, then Dr. Crusher.  Picard says, we weren’t asleep for…everything…all the computers say we were only asleep for thirty seconds; chronometer, doctor, Data.  She goes Jean-Luc, this is twenty-four hour’s growth.

 

This is coming from…this is my hobby, ethno-botany or ethno…Picard thinks.  Hm, whoa.  I’ve been presented with two things.  Am I on…my on…clues?  Then we come back.  Captain’s Log.  Picard’s staring at…oh no, Picard staring at the plants, then he’s…oh, he’s staring at the plants in the conference room.  Data’s making a Pell Underhill theory.  Major disruption in time community, compensated by trillions of counter-reactions.  Maybe that’s what happened, and…on the other side of the wormhole.  Geordi goes, that’s about…not about…that theory wasn’t about that.  Data goes, but it could be.  Could be applied here given the proper conditions.  Picard goes, thanks, Data.  Intriguing.  He goes, we got a tempest in a test tube, maybe.  Then he goes Data, Mr. Nelson needed you to help him fix a sensor.

 

Could you leave so we could talk about you behind your back?  Deck 36.  Data says, as you wish.  They all wait for him to leave, even Picard.  You’d think Picard would be like, we’re gonna talk about you behind your back, but he goes, do you believe him?  Geordi goes…again, another…he goes, dude, there’s no way that theory…that’s embarrassing.  I’m embarrassed for Data.  No way you could connect that theory.  Worf says, what are you suggesting?  Picard goes, no idea.  Never known Data to lie, but…he goes, I don’t know what’s happening.  What’s going on?  Everybody’s thinking.  Geordi’s like, why didn’t our beards grow, then?  I say, I would have never thought of that, either.  They go well, maybe it’s a cover-up.  They say, maybe Data’s malfunctioning.  Could be he’s telling the truth and this is all a minor mystery.

 

Geordi goes, let’s check the clock, see if it was tampered with.  Then Crusher says wait a second, we could do…I could do something with the transporter trace analysis something.  So they say okay, well, now we’re all sleuthing at this.  We don’t want him to think we’re suspicious.  Then Data’s working, helping do this scan.  Geordi comes down.  He’s very jocular in this one.  They say okay, everything looks good.  Data says [00:40:00] everything looks good.  We’re just checking the neutrino and particle detectors.  Geordi goes great, I’ll take over now.  You gotta go back to the bridge.  He goes, okay.  He says, Ten Forward later?  Data just heads off.  Geordi gets a stressed look.  He goes Nelson, I gotta check some stuff.  I need you to help.  Then Detective Crusher goes and meets with O’Brien.

 

Who was the last person to use the transporter?  Oh, when Data was presenting his hypothesis earlier, his…I liked how his hands were folded.  Geordi…Underhill…was talking energy…intriguing.  Oh, so then they do their thing.  Inspector Crusher, she goes, the turgor pressure’s off.  Check the electrolytes.  There’s a deviation from what should have been.  Both of their deviations are in the same ten to twelve standard deviation or something from what it should have been with the thing.  So, she goes let’s meet up; I got a report from my clue-collecting.  Then she explains it to Picard while they’re walking.  We all have twenty-four hour rhythms.  Picard goes yeah, our internal clock.  We can measure that.

 

She goes, I took a trace from the transporter and compared it to the cell function in somebody…somebody that…the last person to use it.  If it was only thirty seconds, they should have been synchronous, but they were off way longer than thirty seconds, captain, a lot longer.  She puts her hands in her pockets.  That’s how serious she is, and Picard doesn’t even answer.  They both get a look, then Geordi goes, good news, bad news.  Good news is computer was tampered with.  Security system was turned off, new program put in place.  The clock was reset.  They go, the bad news?  The only people that can change it are me and Data, or Data and I.  Then they go, dun-dun-dun.  Then they’re interviewing Data.  He goes, it’s a mystery.  Really high-quality acting from this point on.  Understatement, Data.  Mystery.

 

Something or someone’s…is…are you being affected by something?  Data goes, I’m unable…now it’s a little bit of a game, one of those games where you say, can you answer the question?  I’m not able to…I’m not able…and they say, you just answered my question.  They go well, Geordi will look at you.  He goes well, I know how to get there.  Picard looks very uncomfortable and intrigued.  Another zoom.  Long hold, and then it goes to him.  No beards…let me just see here.  Crusher’s on the case.  12.5 electrolytes.  She explains to Picard…out along…good news, bad news.  Data interview.  Zoom on Picard.  Then the Enterprise goes from the top-left to the middle of the screen.  So, Picard…what does that say?  Seat…?  Oh, Captain’s Log Supplemental; they have Data’s head, doubts about Data.

 

Won’t hurt; that’s a figure of speech.  Something…bedside manner…I’m perfectly comfortable.  You seem a bit uncomfortable, Geordi.  Oh, everyone aboard the Enterprise, according to the Captain’s Log, lost an entire day.  As the mystery of what occurred during those hours deepens, so do my doubts about Data.  I’m your friend.  Oh, that’s what…Geordi tries the old friend thing on him.  Then Data’s face…so again, you get these great…this one really holds up well a couple…multiple watches, holy.  Pattern recognition, everything’s normal in your brain.  Heuristic…so, I don’t know.  Geordi, are you uncomfortable?  Yeah, Data.  I thought we were best friends but you’re not on…being honest.  There’s something wrong.  Maybe I could help you.

 

Data goes, I cannot tell you anything beyond what I’ve stated according to the rules of this game.  Geordi’s hurt and annoyed.  Data turns back towards the camera.  Geordi goes on the bridge, says I gotta talk to Picard one-on-one.  Everybody else can…near everybody.  Nothing wrong with him technologically that I can see.  He’s in perfect condition.  Picard goes, I was hoping you would find something.  Then Geordi goes, it could be beyond my capabilities to detect something, but the mystery started when we…that Class-M planet, right, and our sensors malfunctioned.  Then they go, but Data launched the probe.  Geordi, could you look into that, too?  I’m on it.  Picard goes, what happened during that day?  Really, this episode turns…very few episodes I’ve ever seen in a few minutes…what happened before we fell asleep?

 

Then Troi kinda has this moment where she says, I’m…I gotta lie down.  I’m feeling lightheaded.  I don’t know, I just really was impressed by how much of a right turn this episode takes.  They go, you sure you don’t want to see Dr. Crusher?  She goes, no, I’ll…fine.  Picard goes Worf, walk with Counselor Troi.  So, they head towards her quarters and he drops her off.  She goes oh, thanks.  Thanks for coming with me, Mr. Worf.  Certain…he goes, you’re certain you’re well?  She goes yeah, I just needed some rest.  But as soon as her door closes, she’s like…it sounds like there’s a surprise party going on in her room.  Worf goes, is there a surprise party I wasn’t invited to?  He goes, I better go in and check.  He goes in and he’s like, Counselor Troi, is there a surprise party in here?  She goes no, but it seemed like there was.

 

She goes, I was surprised…there was a surprise party in my mirror.  He goes, well…and she goes yeah, like a surprise party where everybody said surprise, happy birthday, but it’s not my birthday.  So, she goes, that was very surprising.  He goes, I can see that.  Then she goes to the Med Bay.  They go yeah, high adrenaline but normal reaction.  If somebody was…if you were having a party and it was a surprise, of course you’d have some adrenal reaction.  They go, what is it?  She goes, I just felt like…she goes, I didn’t see a surprise party; I felt a surprise party in the mirror.  She goes, I don’t know.  Very strange.  Then Geordi calls; he’s like, I got some more information.  Picard goes, I’m on my way.  Now the clues start coming faster.  Worf goes to Med Bay and he says my…I have a wrist ache.

 

He tries to get away with not getting inspected but Dr. Crusher says what’s going on?  He goes well, I wouldn’t normally ask for me but anything out of the ordinary we’re supposed to be investigating.  He goes, I guess my wrist has to be investigated.  So, she investigates his wrist and she goes oh, wait a second.  Yeah, you…she goes, it was like you strained your wrist a little.  He goes, huh.  Then we have Data, Geordi, and Picard looking at a planet.  They go, you recognize this?  Data goes yeah, that’s what the probe saw.  Then Geordi comes out of nowhere.  He goes no, that’s not what the probe saw.  That was a .jpeg you downloaded and you put it on screen and we all fell for it.  Not a real thing.  So, Picard interviews Data again.  Data’s staring; his eyes do not blink.

 

Data, did you…is this a .jpeg from the ship’s library that you put inside the probe?  He goes, I can’t verify that.  Then he goes, do you deny it?  Can’t deny it either.  Picard goes Geordi, send out another probe.  Geordi’s hand was on his hip and he was leaning.  He’s like man, I’m sorry, Data.  This is…it’s an interesting sculpture.  I don’t know if they’re in Data’s room but he has a…this bird sculpture.  Then he goes, something’s going on with Troi.  Data goes, is she alright?  Picard goes yeah, I don’t know.  Is that related to this or the missing time period?  Data goes, I cannot confirm or deny it.  He goes, you’re the key to this mystery and you’re blocking my attempts to solve it.  Why?  Not by choice, Data says.  He goes, what do you mean?  Can’t say.  He goes, are you trying…he goes, what about Troi?  What about guilting you?

 

He goes, you can’t guilt me because I’m trying to help everybody [00:50:00] on the crew, not just one person.  He goes…Picard says, you’re doing that?  He goes no, no, no, I was just hypothetically raising a hypothetical, maybe a possible alternative explanation.  He goes Data, I’m asking you again; what in the heck is going on, man?  He goes, I order you to answer me.  What happened?  Data goes, I can’t answer that.  Picard’s exasperated.  He goes Data, you’re gonna…he goes, what would you have me do if the positions were reversed?  I like how Data pauses and thinks on this one, moves his eyes.  He goes, I guess you gotta follow protocol.  He goes, I’ve interfered, falsified, I may have disobeyed a direct order.  No, that’s weird, Picard, but your duty seems clear.

 

Picard goes, that would mean you’d be…you wouldn’t be plugged in to be recharged and you’d be…you know, you wouldn’t be a Starfleet officer.  Data goes, yeah.  Yeah, I guess I really…think about it then, if I’m willing to do that.  You should really think on that because that’s what I’m willing to do.  Picard takes a breath.  We go to commercial.  Then we go back.  We go to Troi, Worf, and Picard, and…or Dr. Crusher, Worf, and Picard.  She goes, he twisted his wrist and it got…he even got iced.  They go, when?  She goes, during that twenty-four hours, I guess, ‘cause I didn’t…we have all our ices stocked except for one.  So, it did get used but nobody…I…she goes, I signed it out, probably.

 

Worf goes, I don’t know how I would twist my wrist except…he goes, if…he goes, one time when Data and I play thumb wars; one, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war.  He goes, that’s the only person that could have done it.  Picard goes, maybe.  But he goes, I think Data’s…thinks he’s acting in good faith and the best interest of the Enterprise.  Geordi calls again.  We’re going…the probe’s going back to the other planet.  He goes okay, now we’re gonna get some answers.  They all go to the bridge.  So, we got our whole team now.  Not Troi, though.  Okay, they say we got a planet, M-Class planet.  That’s the one.  The so-called wormhole.  Affirmative.  No time-space distortion.  The probe should see something, even if the wormhole’s gone.  Picard goes, there is no wormhole.  Never was.  Riker goes, what?

 

It was a ruse designed to throw us off the track.  Clever ruse.  Crusher’s incubation experiment, the computer clock; there’s a missing day somewhere.  He goes, I think we were around for it and fully functioning even though we don’t remember it.  Maybe something else was going on.  Crusher goes well, we must have been successful.  He goes, not necessarily.  Data’s behavior would say we weren’t successful.  Why would he sacrifice his career rather than tell the truth?  Then Worf investigates.  He says it could be stalemate.  A compromise could have been reached, Picard says, that forced Data be quiet.  Then Riker says well, okay, then we’re upsetting the stalemate by investigating.  Maybe we should leave it alone.  But we can’t because now we know about it and we have to be able to trust Data.

 

He goes ensign, take us back to the scene of the mystery, T-tauri System.  Warp 2.  So, they go back.  They’re in sensor range.  They drop to impulse, put up the shields.  An energy field shows up, a green one.  Green…like a green smoke between them and the planet.  They hold position.  It shoots one thing, a energy pulse that approaches the Enterprise.  Then they cut to Troi sleeping.  She has sparkly bedsheets and she’s sleeping and the green smoke goes and visits her.  At first they’re like huh, nothing happened; just a strange energy pulse.  But she sleeps on her back with her head up.  She wakes up as the green smoke kinda talks to her.  It’s a surprise…it’s like the surprise party balloons.  She goes…then she…Data’s in his office.  Troi comes in.

 

He goes, Counselor Troi…and she’s got this autotune thing where she says, the plan failed.  She’s singing in autotune.  Goes, you’ve return…your ship’s in our space again.  Data goes, I couldn’t stop it.  She goes, here you are.  He goes, the Enterprise isn’t…we’re not here to make trouble.  Give me more time.  Then Geordi comes in.  He goes everybody, we’ve got to get to the bridge.  Data goes, we’re having a moment here.  He goes please, don’t do anything.  Just give me some time to salvage the situation.  The Troi green smoke person, they take a breath.  Data goes to the bridge.  He goes, reporting.  Picard’s shoulders are tense.  He says, we’re back where it all started, Data.  M-Class planet, green smoke.  Data goes, we gotta get outta here.  Picard goes, why?  Data goes, it’s risky.  Why?  What is the source of that?

 

Energy field?  Data goes, cannot say.  Picard goes Data, you’re in some sort of feedback loop.  He goes, you can say.  You have free will.  You have a choice.  My silence is not by choice.  Picard goes, not by choice?  By the smoke?  Did Geordi miss something?  Picard’s getting annoyed.  He goes, Geordi did his job.  Why are you disobeying my orders?  Then Picard figures it out.  Oh, my orders.  During the missing day, he goes, did you contact Starfleet?  Did they order you to conceal this truth from us?  Data goes, I cannot answer that.  We must leave.  He goes, it’s not going anywhere ‘til I get an answer.  He goes, who gave you that…?  Oh, this is when he figures it out.  Who gave you that order?  Then Troi-bot…Troi-bot in autotune comes on.  She’s got this look on her face.  Then Data goes, gulp.

 

He goes, you gave the order, Jean-Luc.  He doesn’t say Jean-Luc.  Then we go to a commercial.  Picard goes, I ordered you to lie?  Then they go, the energy field’s coming towards us.  Riker goes oh boy, full shields.  Data goes no, vary shield shape and strength as rapidly as possible.  Don’t do max shields.  Picard goes, do as Data says.  Then the shield blocks the green smoke but it’s shifting amplitude to match our shields.  Energy field will penetrate soon, Data says.  It’s the Paxans’ technology.  Say, Paxans?  Say, what?  Who are they?  Then Data turns towards Troi-autotune.  She says you’ve invaded our system, in autotune.  Worf gets bent.  They say Worf, hold on.  Picard goes, we’re not invaders; we’re explorers.  Troi-autotune says, unacceptable.  Data says, they’re isolationists, sir.

 

They terraformed a proto-planet and they want to be left alone and hide out.  Wormhole was just something to keep people away from them.  Energy field stuns everybody…biochemical stasis…oh, that’s why we don’t have beards, Geordi says.  That was his main…that was his mystery.  Geordi and the case of the missing beard.  They said yeah, then usually you wake up and you just leave, but my positronic brain was unknown to the Paxans.  Then that’s when Troi…or Troi-bot says he’s conscious, so when we tried to move you back…and then they…we do a flashback with…everybody’s asleep.  Data’s trying to get everything Zed-Zed-Alpha’d.  Everybody else is sleeping.  He follows proper procedure, puts the shield up, but then the shield’s getting penetrated.  He does this random fluctuation.

 

Then he wakes everybody up with compound ADH into the airflow system; five parts per million.  That gets everybody woken up.  Data helps everybody…or helps Picard stand up.  Status, Data?  Energy field’s trying to match our shields.  [01:00:00] What are our options?  We’re too close.  Can we go to warp?  No.  Then the power goes down and the shields have been penetrated.  Systems are frozen.  That’s when the Paxans speak through Troi in autotune.  They communicate again.  Worf again…this is when Worf strains his wristy-poo ‘cause he tries to mess with Troi.  Loses a thumb war to her.  Picard says hey, who are you?  We’re the Paxans.  Can’t be aware of our existence.  We tried to put you in stasis so we’re gonna have to impound you and your ship.  Picard goes if you do that, they’re gonna come looking for our ship.

 

That’ll defeat your mission and they’ll find you.  They go, no.  Picard goes, how about this; you allow us safe passage and we’ll keep it secret.  Then they’re like, there’s a thousand people on this ship.  No way a thousand people could keep a secret.  Picard goes okay, fair enough.  What about biochemical stasis?  Could we erase everybody’s memory, short-term memory, synaptic function?  Then Troi-tune says, yeah.  Okay, well, take everybody’s short-term memory out.  We’ll reset everything.  Data won’t tell anybody and we’ll act like this never happened.  Troi-bot says okay, I think I could do that.  He goes Data, I’m gonna give you a unusual order.  Starfleet officer…I have to follow all the orders.  Okay, good.  Okay, this is important; never tell anybody nothing about this, even if I order you to.

 

Conceal your knowledge for as long as you exist.  Do you understand fully, Data?  Completely, sir.  Picard turns.  Satisfied?  Troi-bot says, I’m satisfied.  Good.  Alright, let’s cover this up.  This is so un-Picard; he goes alright, let’s cover this whole thing up, any information that’ll lead to this incident.  Let’s get to work.  Then we go back to present time.  Data’s still explaining it.  Yeah, we tried to erase it, reset the chronometer.  Everybody’s memories were gone, and we woke up and tried to make it look like only five minutes passed or whatever.  Here we are.  Here we are again, Picard says.  Troi-bot says your ship failed.  Ship’s gotta go.  Picard goes, the plan failed because clues were left behind that suggested a mystery.  A mystery is irresistible.  Has to be solved.

 

The incubation, the wrist, the loose…the things…evidence suggested more clues.  The clock, transporter, Data.  He goes, what if we get rid of those clues and begin again?  This could be like a rehearsal.  He goes, we learn from our mistakes.  Second time we’ll succeed.  We’ll leave no clues.  Then Troi says, you’re a most unusual species.  Alright, worthy of a second chance.  Proceed.  Then the green cloud leaves.  Troi falls asleep then wakes back up as Deanna…Dr. Deanna Troi.  Welcome back.  He says okay…Picard goes, let’s implement Project Cover-Up and this time let’s get it right.  That’s it, and then the Enterprise goes from bottom-left to top-right of the screen.  Picard wakes up.  Just like last time, Data helps him.  What happened?  Effect from the wormhole was intense.  So it would seem.

 

Everyone fell asleep but me.  My positronic brain…how long were we out?  Thirty seconds.  Current position?  0.54 parsecs from 285147.  Could be worse, Picard says.  Yeah.  Wormhole’s a local phenomenon.  Crusher checks in.  Enterprise went through a wormhole.  Entire crew was asleep for thirty seconds.  Anyone on the bridge…everybody okay?  Apparently not.  Let’s check the other decks.  Crusher out.  Status?  Everything looks good with the ship.  No damage.  Counselor Troi?  General disorientation but nothing serious.

 

Picard says, okay.  What about that Class-M planet?  Data goes oh boy, I forgot to cover that up.  Re-plot us a course.  Data says sir, readings could have been from the wormhole.  I recommend against returning.  It would put the Enterprise in trouble.  Riker goes yeah, let’s launch a probe.  Data goes, probe it is.  But Riker…it was Riker’s idea.  I didn’t realize that.  So, Picard goes okay, make it so.  Let Starfleet know there’s something weird out there.  He goes aye, sir.  Engage.  Then we zoom on Data who has this amused look on his face like a kid hiding.  I think we got away with it.  The episode comes to a close.  Goodnight, everybody.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

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