Episode 1323 – Malling in Love | Dreaming of Newhart S7 E22
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who’s here to do some mall…meandering…we won't be mall-walking this episode, though we have many times in the past. But two characters from a show we’ll be looking at will be in the mall. They mostly sit down. They’re not doing a whole lot of walking, but it’s perfect for bedtime. If you’re new, welcome to Sleep With Me. This is a podcast to keep you company while you fall asleep. I’m so glad you're here. Regular listeners, great to have you back, or gleat to have you back, which isn't a word, but that’s the word I started to say. So gleat to see you. What’s gleat? Well, I don't know. We could invent it. It’s a word that means great, but it has a L in it. It’s like great, but replace the R with an L. It’s a gleat. Huh, okay.
I thought…oh, I’m new to this podcast. Can you tell me more? Sure. Welcome to Sleep With Me. This show is very different, so if you're confused already, I’m hopeful we’ll keep confusing you, 'cause this is a podcast that keeps you company while you fall asleep, a friend, a friendly distraction in the deep, dark night. It’s almost like watching a TV show you’re barely paying attention to, but it’s a little bit more like calling a friend and having them tell you about a show they’re watching, and you're barely paying attention to the friend. In this case, we’ll be looking at Newhart, the eighties sitcom, as if it was a dream…one episode of Newhart, dreamt by the character from the Bob Newhart Show. So, a couple…plenty of layers to take your mind off of stuff. If you’re new, just give the show a few tries. It just isn't for anybody at first.
It takes some getting used to, and what happens is if this ends up being the right podcast for you, you say, oh, I never knew I’ve been looking my whole life for something like this. I didn’t know it existed. If you don’t like the show, that’s okay, either. I’m still…I’m here to help you fall asleep, and I’ll point you in the direction of something else to help you fall asleep to, because this…that’s what the show is all about. It’s a community built on…and I mean, it’s an extended community. We’ve directed tons of people to other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff, 'cause we all know that it doesn't feel…to understate it, it doesn't feel great to not be able to get the sleep you need and deserve. So, I’m glad you’re here. What we got coming up is support so the show can come out twice a week for free, or twice a wheat. Twice a wheat…I’m having trouble…more trouble talking than normal, or even wording my…order and words.
Ordering my words in order? I don't even know. But I’m glad you're here. So, yeah, we got support, then a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, and then later on we’ll be talking about Newhart. So, I’m glad you’re here, and we get to be here for you because of listeners like you. Or maybe you’re one of those listeners that supports the show directly, supports the sponsors, shares about the podcast with other people, sends your kindness, or is just thinking fondly right now of other listeners out there that are new. We do it together, and I really appreciate that, and here’s a couple ways we’re able to do it for you twice a week.
INTRO: Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be things you’re thinking about, thoughts on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, you know, thinking thoughts, thoughts. It could be feelings related to those thoughts, feelings about…feelings that your thoughts…your forgot a thought about how you’re supposed to order this podcast.
I was just thinking about the fact that there’s a blanket behind me with my dog Koa on it, and I also have a blanket with Antonio…Antonio…Antonio Banderas on there. Bantonio Anderas. When I go under…when I pretend…what I like to do…well, I would like to do this. I’ve never done it before…is if I ever actually develop a friendship with Antonio Banderas…and he says, oh yeah, let’s meet up here. I’m staying at this hotel. Then what I would do is check…I would book a room…well, I guess I couldn't do that, 'cause they’d ask for my ID. But so, I guess it wouldn't work, 'cause…I said, well, I’d like to check into a room as Bantonio Anderas. Then…I don't know why. There’s no…I’d say, there’s plenty…I’d have plenty of amusement. They’d say, tell me specifically what you find amusing about that. Saying ‘Bantonio Anderas’.
I definitely find that amusing…seeing Antonio Banderas’ face, knowing I’ve checked into the hotel under a pseudonym very similar to his name. Then, I mean, obviously having them…doing…well, I’d definitely order food. They’d say, can you deliver my order to Antonio Banderas’ room, though? This could have been in Pee-wee 4, like when…like another movie…like if the end was also a movie about Pee-wee, where Pee-wee had a cameo. He could deliver the food. I mean, I realize this is only imaginary 'cause Pee-wee’s out there delivering food in the big farm, probably making movies and stuff. But he could deliver the room to Antonio…talk about going a long way, a long, meandering way. But he could deliver stuff to the room.
Meanwhile, I’d be in the hall, giggling. I’d say, order, order for…you know, whatever, house…what do they call that? Room service. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. Yeah, we have your order, Mr. Anderas. This is for Bantonio Anderas. No, no, no, I’m Antonio Banderas. Thank you, thank you, though. Oh no, this is a order for Bantario Anderas. So, see how…I mean, see how…? I mean, come on. If you’re new to the show, this is the kind of barely-humorous stuff you can expect. But I do have a blanket of him, as well as a blanket of my lovely dog, Koa. So, I’ll try to put up my blanket of Antonio Banderas, as well. There you go; that’s on my list.
One day…we’d have to stay at a independent hotel that you can register under names, or…I guess what…the only way it would be possible in modern times would be if he knew about it ahead of time and agreed to all of it to humor me, which is the kind of gracious person I think he is. Then I’d say to the hotel…I’d say, just so you know, I’m register…I know this is my name and all that, but I’m registering under the name Bantonio Anderas. They’d say, oh yeah, your team called ahead. I say, that would be…I would say, well, I don't actually have a team that calls ahead anywhere. I mean, people usually call ahead. They say, by the way…no, they don’t. They don’t even…but I’d say, oh, great, great. I’m glad they did. Everything’s ready for you, Mr. Anderas.
That would be very meta, because he…Antonio would probably be standing out behind…wherever the check-in in this…the area…this is a special area of the check-in. Talk about a new tangent. But, you know, when I check into a hotel, they have to go back there to check…to ask questions. Usually I think they’re just giggling when I say, is there any way…? They say, this is your room number. I say, okay, I just want to double-check before I go up…is there any way…can I just make sure this room is not next to the ice machine or the elevator? Or I say, okay, no, when I…on my reservation, however I booked it, I’m available…I’m supposed to get a late check-out. They say, oh, under…only under…let me see if I could get that approved. Then they go back there, and I think they just say…they count to twelve.
Maybe they giggle and they say, okay, well, sir, that’s…your room is…this is the available room you have. So, is it by the ice machine or the…or is it the furthest room from the elevator? They say, sir, we got…we managed to get you a room with all three. It’s next to an elevator that’s for other guests, and a ice machine, and it’s also the furthest room from the elevator you’ll be taking. Also, yeah, they’re celebrating twenty-something’s…that’ll be up all night. Oh, great. Terrific. Okay, anyway, this is a sleep podcast. So, thoughts could be keeping you up awake, feelings, anything emotionally connected to those thoughts, any feelings from the past, the present, the future, physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be going through something, you could be getting over something, you could work a different schedule, travel, guests.
Whatever it is, I’m here to tell you you’re not alone. The reason I list some of that stuff isn't to remind you of what’s keeping you awake, but to let you know we get you here or we strive to get you, to see you where you are, that even if I’ve never been through whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, I think I can probably relate to some of the feelings, 'cause I’ve been through a lot of different things with sleep. But the great news is even if I can't, there’s someone listening right now who can relate to how it feels, who’s been through something very similar, and they’re nodding their head. They’re glad you’re here. They really hope this podcast can help you out.
The other part of it is that you deserve as bedtime where you could get the rest you need, the rest you need so tomorrow you have a better day, that you don’t have to dread bedtime. You deserve a bedtime you could look forward to or feel neutral about, and, I don't know, that’s important. The reality is if you’re getting the rest you need and your life is better, our world is a better place to be in. Our world needs you flourishing out there, but no…and not in a pressure way. I say, it’d be nice for you…it’d be nice for you…if it’s nice for you, it’s nice for us, I guess. The way this show works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents.
I go off topic, I get mixed up, I forget what I was talking about, my voice is not traditionally soothing, then I mix up words, then I go…I say, wait a second, I’m mixing up words here. Then I create…I create a whole internal fiction. Oh, 'cause the other thing I was thinking is I’d like for people…I’d like for Antonio…I don't know how the phone-calling would work. Maybe if we were in the lobby and they say, phone call for Mr. Bantonio Anderas, phone call for Mr. Bantonio Anderas. Then I would just see him calmly…I mean, he’d probably be sipping an espresso…black turtleneck shirt, I think, a nice coiffe…to his coiffe, or what…I don't know how you say that about his hair. He looks good…and maybe reading a paper or just enjoying the atmosphere. Then he hears that and then he’s like, not me.
I’m Antonio Ban…I mean, he would already know. So, then it would be another layer. Like, I already know. This is Scooter’s gift. It’s move…he said, I would grant him one wish, and this is what he wished for. Well, I didn’t think you’d actually grant the wish, is the thing, but pretty…I guess, pretty good. I’d say, well, that’s pretty good, man, watching you acting surprised in order to please me. I mean, I guess, what better gift could you give someone? So, okay…so, I go off topic, I get mixed up…I said earlier, when most people get to this pod…this podcast, it just takes some getting used to. It’s an acquired taste or it’s not for everybody, and I don't say that in a way…I don't know how else to explain it, but I want to make sure you know that to be fair and for you to give it a fair try.
Just give it a few tries and see how it goes, 'cause if you have trouble sleeping like I have and you’ve found your way to the podcast, of course you’re gonna be skeptical, doubtful, maybe even a little grouchy, because you’re looking for something to help you fall asleep, and this may not be like anything you’ve ever heard before, at least thus far, but it’s friendly and it’s for you to help you. So, just see how it goes. But I totally get it if you’re skeptical or doubtful, so much so that the majority of the people that listen to the show don’t like me. I mean, the people that become regular listeners do, or I like to think they do, that they would also humor me when I said ‘I’m Bantonio Anderas. Any messages for me?’ Say, no, sir. No messages for you.
Did you notice if any other rooms opened up that aren't in the party wing, the ice-machine party zone? Walk to elevators…? No, sir. I’m sorry. Did you check on that late check-out again for me? Oh yeah, sir, I’m sorry, you have…you have an early check-out. Okay, thanks. Just…I’m glad. I’m glad to keep things consistent, at least. Okay, so, what was I talking about? Oh, most people don’t like the show, and that’s okay, right? I’m still here to help you fall asleep. So, I have a website set up for you, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, which has other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there. So, if you tried the show two or three tries and you’re like, I never…it never worked for me. I’m looking for something a little bit different, but…a little bit different, right? My show’s a little bit more than a little bit different.
Check out thoses podcasts on there and other sleepy stuff, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, 'cause this is a podcast you just barely listen to, or you kinda listen to it versus paying attention to it. It’s a podcast that’s not…it’s a sleep podcast but it’s…there’s no pressure to fall asleep. I’m gonna be here for over an hour, so there is no pressure to fall asleep. There’s people who are listening who need a break during the day or who can't sleep at all. So, I’m here to keep you company and keep them company to the very end whether you’re awake or asleep. So, I’m here to just take your mind off of stuff and talk, and then you just wake up tomorrow, or if you’re waking up and you need a distraction…it’s like, listening to me is optional, very optional.
I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your neigh-bore, your bore-bestie, your bores, your Borbie, your boreman…what else? Your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bruh, your best bore-friend f’eva, and to just keep you company and take your mind off of stuff. The other thing I like to explain is the structure of the show, just so if you’re new, I can meet you where you are. ‘Cause you say, I don't get the…I don't know…yeah, when do the water sounds start or whatever, or what’s going on? I say, okay, well, this podcast is different, like I said, and it’s structured in a way that over the eleven years we’ve been making it, we’ve learned most people like to listen.
But that doesn't mean as you become a regular listener, you might not want to change kinda how you listen. But the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in, and you say, okay, I might check that show out. Then there’s support so paying for the podcast is optional. If you prefer something ad-free, you can get that on Sleep With Me+, but most people like listening to this ad-supported version linearly, but not everybody. That’s why I’m explaining this. After the support, totally separate from the support, is the intro, which we’re now twenty minutes into or something, and the intro is a show within a show.
It has nothing to do with the support of the show, but it’s kind of like an intro that goes no…barely goes somewhere, and it’s different every episode but it’s familiar, because I think that’s what really works, is having something that has variety and familiarity. So, if you become a regular listener, you’re like, oh, there goes Scoots trying to explain what the podcast is, and then he got distracted by a pseudonym, and it was mildly entertaining listening to him…imagining him full of glee at a hotel playfully playing with Antonio Banderas’ name. Then I would go…if the food got delivered, I’d be like, surprise, that’s actually my…he’s…oh, I’m so hungry. Oh, that’s…well, that’s actually my food. I just had it delivered here. Then I say, no, just kidding; I did…I didn’t actually order you anything, 'cause I didn’t think about it.
No, I did. Or, now I know. It’s a good thing we’re rehearsing this, right? Now I know; just double everything. You could charge it to Mr. Banderas’ room, too, by the way. So, yeah, I’m ordering it for Mr. Anderas, but it’s gonna be paid for by Mr. Banderas. Maybe. Who knows? Okay, where was I? Oh, structure of the show. So, the intro goes on and on and on because most people don’t falling asleep during the intro. The intro is meant to kinda ease you into bedtime, to take your mind off of stuff while you wind down, while you get ready for bed, while you’re in bed getting comfortable, while you're doing a chill activity, petting your pets, whatever it is. The intro is like a buffer between being awake and going to sleep, a slow lowering of the volume. So, that’s what the intro is.
Then there’s support, then there will be our bedtime story. Tonight will be our Newhart episode. There are a variety of ways to listen on Sleep With Me+. A lot of people listen to all-intro episodes, but some people listen to story-only episodes. Some people listen to a combination of story-only episodes and ad-free episodes on Sleep With Me+. Some people listen all night, so they might pick one of those or our compilation episodes to listen all night long. Some people make playlists based on certain styles of episodes. So, as you become a regular listener, you could adjust, but there’s just…there’s just a lot of people that just put the episode on, set a sleep timer for forty-five or sixty minutes, slowly unwind, and fall asleep during the story. But if you don’t fall asleep, that’s fine. I’m here to keep you company.
There’s like, 600 episodes in this ad-supported archive…or ad-supported feed, too. But yeah, I think that’s it. I’m really glad you’re here. I work really hard. I yearn and I strive. So do a bunch of other people that work on this show. We really want to help you fall asleep, but not by putting you to sleep or being cloying or whatever, just keeping you company like a friend that you don’t need to listen to. So, I really appreciate you coming by and checking this show out or coming back episode after episode. Those of you that support the show in any way, including with kindness, I really, really appreciate it, 'cause I could not do it without all of you. So, I’m really glad you’re here, and here’s a couple ways we’re able to keep this show coming out for you.
Alright everybody, Scoots here. This is our Dreaming of Newhart series with Bob and…not even sure who the other person’s name is. They escape me. Bob is someone that dreams of running a inn in Vermont, a famous…very famous dreams, documented dreams, that we’ve been able to look at. Then we’ve been able to look at the dreamer’s day. Or, Bob has. Bob’s willing to come in and do all that, then they’re working with some…an interviewer who also has a AI assistant who looks and analyzes the dreams. It’s all pretty dreamy stuff. So, I’m gonna turn things over to them.
Hey, Bob. Come on in. Oh, good to see you, good to see you. So, I was thinking we could go back to our traditional way of…you could tell me your…well, I could tell you…you did send in a couple things from your dream early. I appreciate that. My assistant did have a dream…my assistant can't dream, according to them, but they can simulate a dream based on what they know about you. So, I’d love to go over that first, and then we could go over your dreams, then we could interpret them or go over your week, and then talk about it. I don't love…I guess…you're more…you're not asking me, though, right? Well, yeah. I mean, it’s not too long. It won't take too much of your time, Bob. I think…I always find these layers of discovery. We’re getting deeper and deeper into the layers of discovery.
Well, I enjoyed last week…our session, but I did find it…that we were go…discovering things that I didn’t even know…right. It’s like, at this point we’re dreaming within dreams, Bob. Okay, so, we said…you agreed that the theme of the dream — which was very witty, Bob; you’re so witty — is malling in love again. My assistant said, here in the dream, back at the charming Vermont inn…but this time we see a whole quaint village that’s celebrating the grand opening of a new mall. So, it’s…but the setting is familiar to your dreams, Bob, and you wander through the crowd and you start to notice that there’s something about the mall that’s different. It’s more themed around nostalgia and personal memories. This sounds like a Sleep With Me series already.
Well, yeah, I don't know. I mean, this…my assistant doesn't know about that at all. But each store is a whimsical recreation of a moment or theme from your previous dreams. Oh, boy. No, no, there’s a cozy diner run by Kirk, who now serves gourmet burgers and has nice interactions with everybody. So, it’s a mall…it’s commercialization of my dreams? It’s imaginary, Bob. In the center of the mall, a grand piano, and Joanne’s playing to the crowd. She’s got a teacher there who’s…she’s supposed to play for the crowd. She’s got her piano teacher, but she’s like, I think I could go check out the stops…shops and find Dick and talk to him. It’s kind of humorous watching her go back and forth. Then Stephanie appears very dramatically in the mall. She’s part of a promotional event.
Your assistant came up with this whole dream? Apparently, Bob. I don't know, I just told them…yeah, I asked them to simulate your dream. She is acting out a love story, but instead of a love story to Kirk or to the other…Michael, it’s to a mannequin dressed in 1950’s attire. Okay. Then there’s a store that sells vintage electric razors. How could they be vintage? There’s a overly enthusiastic salesperson who says that the razors are magical and can enhance one’s emotional clarity. Okay. This doesn't sound like a dream I would have. No, your dreams are a little bit more grounded, Bob. This is based on your dreams, though. Okay, then instead of…then there’s a talent show at the mall, and each store has…joins in the talent show.
Joanne finally decides to play the piano, and her piece is improvised but brilliant, showing her true potential when she doesn't overthink. Then everyone gathers in the central atrium where Kirk, who is now the unofficial mayor of the mall, kinda creates a ceremony celebrating the mall’s new heart of community. Get it? I do get it, but…you think that was intentional? ‘Cause, actually, my inn is the heart of the…I don't know, Bob. Everybody’s laughing. They toast with non-alcoholic champagne. Huh, that doesn't…that only has to do with somebody else, not…well, and then everybody’s glad. The end. Okay. Not a lot of conflict in that dream. I guess not, but…okay, Bob, why don’t you go ahead and start off with your dream, then? Okay.
Yeah, I sent you the notes. I have it written here. I wrote down some part I forgot to tell you about, though. At the beginning of my dream, Larry, Darryl, and Darryl come in, and they have a sugar packet that’s years old that they found in one of Darryl’s pockets. I just forgot that detail, though it’s…so, I know your assistant probably didn’t analyze that, but I thought it was dreamy. Very dreamy, Bob. Then, what I told you already is that he says that Johnny Carson pays our gas bill. I say, what do you mean? He says, well, Johnny has Monday nights off. This is…so, this is taking place in another time when Johnny Carson was still on TV. Okay. I say, I don't know about that. Then it becomes a thing about my skepticism again. You don’t believe us.
I say, Jay Leno maybe would pay your gas bill. Someone says the word ‘erstaz’ or something? I don't know. They’re not happy. They’re like, we’re gonna prove you wrong. So, I said…oh, also, I didn’t want the sugar packet. I forgot to tell you that. So, I don't know. Then something else may have happened, but Stephanie comes in with a guy named Todd from a date. He’s wearing a lot of cologne. I say…we’re like, how was the date? Joanne and I…my dream wife, Joanne, is there. They’re both saying how great it is. Todd’s like, this is…it was a great, great date. Oh, there’s also…yeah. Anyway, now, Joanne had fixed them up on a date, so she was very excited. She introduced the two of them, and, I don't know. Then he leaves, and Stephanie says, that date was not good. She did not enjoy it. We say, well, what happened?
She said, well, he only said I was ravishing four times, and so…oh, also, I forgot Michael was in the dream. You know, Michael goes by Mikey now. I forgot that in the dream. He wears a bow-tie…he’s no longer stylish. He works…well, he’s kinda stylish, but he works at a grocery store bagging groceries, but he also…it’s a small grocery store, so he gets all the leftovers from the bakery. So, he brings us some day-old bread. Also, Michael admits after Stephanie’s date leaves that he…he knows so many facts about Stephanie. I guess they may have read her diary together or something. So, I don't know, it’s a little bit awkward 'cause Michael was there, and him and Stephanie used to date. Even though it was in my dream, you know, it’s strange. I don't know, we all talk about dissatisfaction, 'cause Michael’s also single.
Then Michael and Stephanie…I don't know whose idea…they say, what if we helped each other as friends find dates? ‘Cause we really get each other. So…said, okay. So, then in the next part of the dream, it kept going. Michael and Stephanie are in a mall together. They’re outside…there’s a tennis store at the mall…I can't remember, like a painting store…I can't remember. I’ll remember in a minute. But they’re sitting at the mall judging every person their age…around their age they think is single, and dismissing them. Well, that person, they…I don't know. I don't like how they tucked their shirt in. Well, I’m not sure about that person, how they tucked their shirt in. So, it goes back and forth. Then Michael…but they also have…they’re interviewing people. So, Michael starts to interview this guy whose name is Dirk. You say, Dirk?
It sounds like from a movie, you know? Then, he’s kinda…first he’s kinda still a little judgemental about it, and then he says, wait a second, aren't you a bag boy? Michael goes…wait, you’re Mikey, right? The day-old birthday-cake guy? He goes, yeah, yeah, I’m the one that loves day-old birthday cakes. But yeah, they…I’m just remembering more of the dream…is that they’re very harsh with their criticism of other people’s dress…how they dress. Oh, there’s…the other thing I was wondering is that…oh, the…oh, so there’s a painting store, but the other thing is that the guy, Dirk, looked a lot like an actor, like a famous actor from a bunch of different movies. I said, I know that guy from movies, but he’s not…he also has a members-only jacket on, powder blue.
So, I don't know, I keep having dreams with…this person was someone who’s…I think their name is Craig, but they look famous, very, very…I’d say…I mean, I think a good-looking guy…and probably familiar, but just off…like a dream, I guess. So, maybe a amalgamation of famous actors. But yeah, so, then they’re talking, then Stephanie says, can you guys talk about being…bagging groceries some other time? Michael says, well, how much money do you make, anyway? He goes, I bag groceries, dude. I don't want to…what are you questioning me about…? Michael says, oh, we’re just doing testing. So, he doesn't quite cut the mustard, even though I’m kinda friendly with him. It’s weird that I didn’t recognize him immediately, but I guess it’s a dream…or Michael or me. You know what I mean.
Let’s see…then they’re talking…oh, then we meet someone else named Stacy. She’s into the same magazines I’m into, but Stephanie’s not. I’m a little bit into reading stuff about current events. Do you watch Shakespeare or do you fall asleep during Shakespeare? It doesn't work out. Whatever; Stephanie’s like, it’s not gonna work out. There’s also ballerinas. Then there’s a store, Marky’s, I’m remembering, with purple neon. They closed that store. The mall’s closing down. So, then we’re like, we gotta find somebody. Maybe we gotta change our standards. So, I don't know. There was also a guy who looked like…oh, there was…the last person we talked to looked like he was the guy from Laguna Beach, that has a podcast now about Laguna Beach, but I can't think of his name, either.
He looks like maybe…maybe how he looks now, 'cause he’s maybe twenty-eight, I don't know, to thirty. He’s also a bag boy, but Michael doesn't have his glasses on. So, he goes, Bready? Mikey? Holy cow. Bready loves ripped bags of flour. That’s what he takes for free from his job. So, it’s like a big inside joke at the…about that. They almost give out a fashion citation…that was a thing. Whatever, bag boy holiday, they talk about. I said, that’s the movie Dirk should star in, Bag Boy Holiday, after…never mind. The mall’s closing. We haven't found any dates. They think the person that’s kinda saying, hey, it’s time to leave the mall…they just…they wrote a screenplay. Marky’s closes, and they’re…say, okay, that’s gonna work out. There’s one more…someone closing up Marky’s.
Stephanie’s not sure, but Michael’s like, hey…and she’s into Cosmo and Vogue. Stephanie 2.0, I say…or Michael says. She said, what, are you two screening for dates? There’s something about Shakespeare Pizza? I don't know, I thought…I said, is there a place in this mall called Shakespeare Pizza, or is that where they’re gonna go on a date? Michael says, I think this is my dream girl. Then Stephanie’s a little bit down about it. Then we go to Larry back at the inn. I’m still…Larry and Darryl and Darryl show up with like, five years of gas bills. They say, see? I hand-wrote on every bill that Johnny Carson paid this bill. Do you believe me now? I say, you wrote on your bill that Johnny Carson paid the bill. What do you mean? Then George says, no one pays my gas bill. I say, I think I do pay your gas bill, 'cause you live here.
Then Joanna comes in, and she says…oh, Stephanie was wondering if she dumped Todd for her. Joanna says, I couldn't do it, so I told him you were in France. Then Mikey comes back in. He’s in a sweater and a bow-tie. Trying to think of any other details you might need. I don't know, sometimes when I write up my notes about my dreams, it’s a little messy. But yeah, Joanna’s like, yeah, I told Todd you went and moved to France. Then Mikey comes in. He has a sweater and a bow-tie. He goes by Mikey now. He’s like, hey, I just…I went to the mall with my new date…to meet up with my new date. He also says, ravishing babushka…that Stephanie’s wearing. He’s excited about going on this date with whoever the…whatever…Jennifer, maybe? She works at a sporting goods store. So, that store I named was a sporting goods store.
Then we talk about shoes and…I don't know. Or maybe I talked to her about shoes. We were going on a date at a diner. What else happened in the dream? Thanks, best friend…oh, then we go to the diner for…it’s like a upscale diner. Michael’s in a sport coat and a tie. Most people are pretty dressed up. Everyone’s dressed in diner…fifties diner…the people that work there are dressed as ‘50 diners clothes. So, I don't know if it’s a theme thing or a real diner. But yeah, everybody’s really well-dressed at this diner in my dream. So, Stephanie shows up. Michael’s waiting for his date, who didn’t show up, he’s explaining. He says, Stephanie, what do you mean you…why are you here? I was supposed to have a date with my other date. She goes, oh yeah, bad traffic, or maybe I cancelled your date for you. Milk spill, she says.
I’m just gonna sit down where you were sitting, or maybe I’ll sit by myself. He says…then the waitress comes and says, your date? No, this is my old date, my ex-girlfriend. Say, okay. Then we kinda talk about starting over. You know, I’m start…or, whatever, Michael in the dream is…Mikey…new name, new job. He’s single, so he’s talking about eating or day-old bread and cake, day-old bread pudding. Yeah, it’s tough starting over, you know? Not easy. New outlook. Then that’s when Stephanie’s like, yeah, she…I cancelled your date for you. They go back and forth; hey, stay out of my business. You stay out of my business. Then we…then say, well, I used to dress you up and pick your shoes. By the way, your shoes and belt don’t match, Stephanie says to Michael.
They go back and forth, arguing, me, me, me, you, you, you, then they say…then it’s a classic thing; oh, I love you. Oh, I love you too, darn it all. So, what now? Well, maybe we’ll go on a date together or something. What really happens is they say, okay, yeah, don’t boss me. Oh, you’re not mature enough. So, then we go back to the inn, and Joanne and I are there. Stephanie’s blind…the date Stephanie fixed…or the date Joanne fixed Stephanie up with is there. I can't believe she’s in France. I got to get ahold of her. Then Stephanie and Michael come in, and they’re totally happy. Oh boy, well, can't believe you’re back from France. Oh, by the way, where are you going? We got married. I say, what? You got married? Yeah. We broke…we got back together. I thought you were friends. Yeah, well, we’re not friends anymore.
We’re married. Went to a diner, got…went and got married. I say, man, you must have had to drive to New Hampshire to do that or something. I don't know. They say, well, goodnight. Call and wake us up. Then Mike…they go, hubba, hubba, hubba. Michael’s singing on his way up the stairs. Like, maybe noon, wake us up. I say, oh, man. Then Larry, Darryl, and Darryl show up with Jonny Carson in my dream. It’s a little bit weird, but he’s very stern with me. He says, you don’t believe I pay these guys’ gas bill? I say, well, do you pay their gas bill? Yeah, I pay their gas bill. I say, what are you…? He goes, you should try paying somebody’s gas bill. I was like, well, I just…it was just a strange thing to say. He goes, well, I’m friends with them, and I just…that’s kinda when I woke up.
He goes, I could…he goes, I can spend my money how you want. You spend your money how I want. So, then they head out 'cause they…he had to get back to film a show. But I said, holy cow, don’t get on his bad side, in the dream. I think that’s everything that I remember. Okay, okay, that’s good, Bob. Well, let’s run through some of your dreams first, and then we’ll go to your week. How does that sound? Okay, that sounds good with me. Okay, so, the first dream my assistant looked at was the one…well, after my assistant dreamed that Michael and Stephanie…and Stephanie works at your inn. We’re at a shopping mall trying to find dates for one another by doing interviews. According to my assistant, Freudian…maybe finding dates for one another suggests unresolved feelings or desires related to relationships.
Searching for dates could symbolize your own search for relationship fulfillment or other aspects. The shopping mall setting…choice and variety. Maybe there’s an abundance of romantic options. Or it could be something about the commercialization of relationships. Jungian, maybe, would be…interviewing suitors…this could be, again, a manifestation of the anima or animus, maybe your feminine aspect or maybe a masculine aspect. Maybe both, exploring both the qualities Michael and Stephanie are looking for. Maybe they’re trying to find the qualities unconsciously they’re seeking. It could also be collaborative searching. Cooperating and finding dates might be a need for integration of masculine and feminine aspects within or a reconciliation of past relationship dynamics.
Astrologically…Venus and Mercury…it could be the transits of Venus, which are love in relationships. Mercury; communication. But again, my assistant’s not good at that one, but my assistant’s really gotten good at these out-of-the…so, these can be other possibilities about your dream. Okay, yeah, that was last week. That was a lot. Okay, so, your dream could actually be an awareness of a time-travel dating service, a scenario where the mall is really a front for a time-travel dating service, where people can meet suitors from different historical periods. This could symbolize exploring different aspects of your personality or desires across contacts or lifetimes. That definitely sounds like something from a sleep podcast.
Could also be…you could actually be in some sort of reality show, or Michael and Stephanie could be, and they’re trying to find dates for one another, reflecting on how…what does that…I don't understand how that’s an interpretation of my dream. Oh, 'cause it’s a twist on a reality show. It could also be testing or experimenting. What if each suitor is a different aspect or personality of Stephanie’s or Michael’s, and the interviews are a way to confront or integrate their traits? Okay, I get that, yeah. What if the mall is actually a maze or a labyrinth where each store offers a different type of partner, symbolizing the complexity and overwhelming nature of finding someone? Okay, any more? Oh yeah, my assistant has more. It could also be metaphysical matchmaking.
What if the mall acts as a metaphysical plane, a crossroads where every shop is a potential life path or relationship? Michael and Stephanie are guardians or guides for other people’s destinies, and the cosmic interconnection…could be virtual reality, again, your awareness that you're in a virtual reality simulation, and these are AI suitors that are trying to understand human relationship dynamics. Is your assistant revealing something we need to know? I don't know. Could be a…maybe that in the dream, you're entering a role-reversal world which exists in a parallel universe where societal norms are reversed. In this world, it’s customary for friends to choose partners for each other as norm, and these societal norms influence personal choices and freedoms. But there, that’s how it works. Okay.
Also, it could be that you’ve entered a world where it’s the theatre of the absurd, and maybe it’s a play within a dream, where each suitor is an actor playing out exaggerated roles that satirize dating, and you're exploring authenticity versus performance? Okay, that’s interesting. Yeah, it is. Okay, what else? Okay, well, we’ll talk about this dream with Larry, Darryl, and Darryl. I don't know if we’ve talked about how Darryl and Darryl don’t speak, and then Johnny Carson paying the gas bills. Okay, so what do you got? Well, a Freudian interpretation would be…Johnny Carson could be a benefactor, like a representation of a father figure or authority figures providing support, and maybe that’s reflecting subconscious desires for security and support from someone in your life. Okay, that one rings true.
Oh, interesting. Good. Anything from the previous one ring true? The theatre of the absurd, maybe? Okay. Also the communication from Larry…Larry’s the spokesperson for his…the two Darryls. Maybe that symbolizes the part of your psyche that communicates needs or seeks assistance, while other parts may be unexpressed or passive. There’s a Jungian interpretation where Johnny might represent a king or generous patron, and these are themes of generosity and guidance. These archetypes could indicate that you're exploring aspects of leadership, protection, and patronage in your own life. Now, maybe the silence of Darryl and Darryl could be part of the shadow, parts of yourself that do not wish to express or have not yet been integrated into your conscious personality.
Now, astrologically, maybe Jupiter…Johnny Carson could be influenced by that, generosity, good fortune. Maybe there’s a period where you feel blessed or hopeful about receiving support or abundance. Okay, I could see how that play…this part makes sense with my…the way my week went. Okay, good. And not in a way where I’ll be giggling? No, no, directly. Okay, so, more ideas…I tried to really push my assistant…this is cutting-edge stuff. Oh yeah, this really feels like it. Okay, it could be a symbolic energy exchange. Johnny Carson’s paying the gas bill…it could symbolize the flow of energy and resources in your life, or maybe unseen forces or people that are facilitating your life’s journey that you're not…you're skeptical of or have…you're not seeing their direct impact.
It could also be a historical role reversal. This is a scenario where historical figures or celebrities like Johnny Carson step into everyday roles. Timelines and realities blend, and…but that makes you more aware of their impact as a icon. Okay, I’m confused about that one. It could also be mythological patronage. Maybe Johnny Carson is, for you, a modern-day Hermes or Mercury, a messenger or patron of commerce and communication, bringing warmth and light to those around him. Okay. It could be a collective unconscious TV show. I’m sorry, could you repeat that? Yeah, it could be a collective unconscious TV show. Okay.
Yeah, the dream might be a playful nod to the idea that your life or community is part of a larger narrative that’s being supported by figures from the collective media history, and that the blurring of entertainment and reality is happening in your subconscience. Well, I don't think…as confusing as that is, I don't think you’ve ever said anything more true than…right now. There’s also the idea…this could be a time capsule message. Now, imagine that the gas bill payments from Johnny Carson are actually messages from the past, and they’re encoded in the numbers. Each payment could symbolically represent a piece of advice or wisdom from Johnny Carson meant to be deciphered in the present. So, you’re saying that this is…the bills…the numbers and the gas bills are some sort of Johnny Carson wisdom Rosetta Stone.
Yeah, I think so. Maybe you’re supposed to be aware of that. But he’s just paying the gas bills. Oh, we’re just looking at possible interpretations, but what if? Also, what if it’s just a surreal game show where life mimicks it? This show is hosted by Johnny Carson, who…this is the Johnny Carson from another dimension, and paying bills is part of the gameplay. The contestants, actually, are the Larry and the Darryls. I don't know if that’s a very good game show. Yeah, you may be right. It could be…this is a popular thing nobody talks about, but quantum philanthropy. Oh boy, I’m sure you're gonna explain this to me.
Yeah, quantum philanthropy is…it’s a twist involving quantum mechanics, and Johnny’s actions could be a quantum philanthropy experiment where his intentions to do good in one universe ripple across multiple universes and affect random individuals like Larry and the Darryls in unexpected ways. Okay, so you're saying in this dream, I’ve become aware that the power of good acts has a quantum element to it that goes across realities? Yeah, I think we could agree on that. Man, if that was true…I wonder if I’d act any different if that was true.
Well, I think you’re becoming aware that it’s true, that Johnny Carson or whoever Johnny Carson represents for you…by doing good all the way in Los Angeles in that reality, we’ll say, in whatever, the eighties or the nineties, it somehow crossed realities…well, I guess more like a stone in the pond, and eventually paid their gas bills. Interesting. Could be celebrity helpers, like celebrity spiritual helpers. What if there’s a whimsical universe where celebrities, after they cross over to this universe, go as helpers to ordinary people and help them in times of need? This could be as part of a celestial program to maintain balance and spread good will in the world. Huh, I mean, I guess it could be.
Alright, your next dream was about Michael, once a TV producer, now working bagging groceries, obsessed with free day-old cakes and stuff. Freudian…now, my assistant took maybe their own spin on this, but maybe this is related to a career in self-worth, stability, but also the cake/bread thing can symbolize a search for comfort and compensation related to the shift in career. Maybe the Jungian way to look at it is the birthday cake is celebrations and milestones. Maybe Michael’s aware of passing of time, and the fact that the cakes are day old and also free, it means you’re thinking about missed opportunities or belated recognition. Okay. Also, I think the bag boy thing’s important, 'cause a few months ago we were talking about your wife’s journey in the real world based on a box…the guy boxing your groceries.
Okay, then there’s Saturn’s influence. Maybe a career change and a focus on sustenance…Saturn could be causing that. Okay, what about the interesting ones? Yeah, so, it could be metaphorical. The day-old cake could be about some sort of spiritual nourishment or self-care nourishment, accomplishments, experiences, and maybe a overliance on past glories and the need to digest and integrate these experiences. It could also be a time-loop scenario. Oh, boy. Yeah, this could be surreal, even, that Michael is in a time loop and picking different careers. But something about the acquisition of day-old cakes symbolizes that he’s one day late in making the right choice to get out of the time loop. It could also be that the cakes are portals. Okay, I’m sorry, what?
The cakes in your dream are portals to alternate realities, where Michael’s career is taking a different path. His obsession with collecting them might be that he’s trying to restore these or explore the alternate universes. Okay, anything stranger than that? Oh yeah, existential comedy. Did you hear that pause there? Existential comedy…what if this scenario is a cosmic joke or existential play where the characters like you slowly become aware they’re in a dream or simulation, and that leads to absurd situations like celebrating day-old bread or day-old cake, and that’s a commentary on the triviality or randomness of things. Okay. There’s also the idea of culinary alchemy.
Like, what if the day-old cakes have alchemical properties, and anyone that eats one is…becomes a different version of themselves based on their deepest desires or regrets. Michael maybe was driven to find the perfect cake that transforms him to his peak self. It probably won't be a day-old cake, though. It could be. I mean, cake as currency could be that…what if the grocery store is a parallel universe where day-old cakes are rare and valuable currency? Your assistant really gave you this? Yeah. Those cakes could be used to negotiate for life experiences, not just for…for life experiences or items that are no longer accessible in that universe. I may need to lie down after this. Oh yeah, you could go to sleep, if you want. It could be a memory imprint.
What if each cake…each day-old cake has the ability to reveal memories when eaten? Michael, feeling disconnected from the past, is…each cake…his enjoyment is that he re-experiences the joy and celebration of other people. Wow. Yeah. It could be dimensional doorways. Is there a difference between portals and doorways? Well, yeah, 'cause each cake could be a gateway to a different dimension, and each cake has a magnetic pole. It’s pulling Michael subconsciously towards each dimension, where, in those dimensions, his life decisions may have led to different outcomes. Okay, I’m not sure what to say. Okay, let’s finish up with the Shakespeare’s Pizza. I thought that was interesting that you were caught on that title. Now, my assistant got a little mixed up here, so let’s…I’m gonna have to do it out of order.
What do you mean? First, my assistant came up with different ideas. Oh, let’s lead with those. Okay, what if Shakespeare’s Pizza had literary toppings? What does that have to do with my dream? I don't know. My assistant said, what if each pizza was a different play and the toppings metaphorically represented the themes…? My assistant even gives an example of a Hamlet pizza with Danish blue cheese, and it would have a white sauce. Wow. What if it was a time-traveling pizzeria, and Shakespeare’s Pizza…it could be a mythical spot in the mall. Each slice sends eaters back to the Elizabethan era for the duration of their meal. Diners…you could…but as soon as it’s digested, you return, or by the time you have your last bite. So, my dream is me becoming aware of that?
I think your dream makes my assistant aware of it. Okay. Dramatic flavors…what if each pizza was trying to evoke different emotional experiences that you feel when you watch a Shakespeare play? Like, what if one slice made you feel comedy, another love, another…and they would say…they would even have a tagline; tasting the drama. Wow, okay. What about…what if it was a place where people met that were in clubs that no one knew about? Maybe literary scholars, playwrights, actors, and then they go there to delve into deep discussions about literature and perform impromptu plays. Customers may be drawn into some sort…maybe it’s even some sort of play within a play, and you could earn free pizza by participating. Wow.
Freud, though, would say it’s about desire and fulfillment, basic desires and needs, but it could also be a deeper intellectual or cultural craving. Maybe you’re seeking more enrichment or sophistication. It could also be about indulgence and regret related to commerce. Could be archetypal symbolism. Jung might talk about Shakespeare as a archetype, pizza as common, enjoyable food, could be the collective unconscience, and also, it could be a playwright’s challenge. What if Shakespeare’s Pizza was a mythical place where patrons were challenged to come up with a play by the time they finish their pizza, and each pizza creates a new play? If you finish your play, you get your pizza for free. Could be culinary sonnets. Each sonnet…each order comes with a sonnet or a short soliloquy.
I think your assistant’s interested in opening a pizza place. It does seem like that. It could have…yeah, each one comes with a sonnet. Or it could be a mist from the past. What if like, as you ate there, characters from Shakespeare’s plays appeared, and they would…? Like Streetmosphere at a pizza place. Yeah. Talk about witty banter and insights. Wow, I never…we’ve come quite on a journey about my dreams, huh? We have. I even had my assistant start drawing some pictures based on your dreams, but I know we’re close to time, so we should probably run through your week. Okay, so, my week was…I don't know if I told you this, but Carol got married to this guy, Larry, right? It starts off…Larry is having…Larry’s not happy at his job. He works at a travel agency. He’s very unhappy, very negative. He dislikes his job.
Jerry’s there, and he’s like, well, why don’t you get a different job or something? I say, well, why don’t you just work for youself, Larry? You could rent a office here on the floor. I even say, Emily and I could be your first customers, 'cause we’re planning a trip, anyway. I think we want to go to Montreal. Then Jerry’s like…'cause Jerry’s…helps people with their smiles. He says, I’ll work on your smile if you give me a trip to Florida. He’s not sure. He’s complaining. Then he quits his job. Then at home, Emily’s really excited. She’s friends with Carol, and she likes Larry or wants to take care of Larry. Emily’s like, I think it’s a good idea. We could do…I could help him with promotions. But I’m in a bad mood, too, this particular night.
So, Emily’s excited about Larry, and we agreed to have dinner…we’ve been taking turns with Howard cooking dinner — and this was Howard’s first time cooking dinner — and then us making dinner. Howard’s late with dinner, and then he finally shows up. I’m really hungry. Then he says, well, I still gotta get dessert. I say, can we just eat, please? Then he just has take-out, which I say, fine. He says, well, I’ll go get dessert. You can wait to eat, though, ‘til I come back. I go, no, I’m eating. We go back and forth, then Emily and I also…and I think maybe Howard’s involved in this discussion about…Emily’s like, well, you’re older than Larry, so, you're kinda taking this mentor role with him, and I don't like that. Even though this…Emily was in this situation recently, too.
I don't like being reminded…I was like, no, no, I see us as contemporaries. She’s like, honey, they’re a lot younger than us. I’m also…whatever, I guess the kids call it hangry or whatever. I should have rest…whatever. I should have paused. So, then I’m rude to Emily, I’m rude…then I’m rude to Howard, and then the phone rings. It’s Larry, and he’s like, I don't know about working for myself. I don't even listen to him, to be honest. I’m just like, I just gotta eat dinner, man, and I just humor him. Then Howard drops all the food. So, then I was…it was just one of those nights, man. Okay, then Emily and Carol decorate our whole floor, very tropical tiki, to promote the opening of his travel agency. He’s still…then Jerry’s not happy, 'cause he’s like, I run a dental business. I don't need…and it’s really over the top.
They’re putting out videos and stuff. But I’m…then Carol’s dressed in a costume. Then I say, can you help me find some files? My filing’s different. She goes, well, yeah, I’m using your filing for Larry, too. Then I say, Larry, what…? He goes, oh, I don't…not doing anything. I got no business and I’m not…he’s not very motivated. I’m still not in the best mood, either. Then I’m like, man, why is everybody helping him? Everybody goes out of their way to help Larry. Emily’s helping him over the top. They’re gonna re-theme the whole office to the Yukon later. Then she tells me some story about being nice. I don't even listen to it. So, then she’s not happy with me, either. She’s like, you gotta change your attitude. I go, okay. Then all of a sudden, at 3:00 in the morning, Carol shows up to our place with coffee.
She’s like, you got…we gotta talk about Larry. I say, what’s going on? Emily and I can barely stay awake. Carol’s like, well, he doesn't…he hasn’t gotten any customers. He’s sleeping at the office. I say, well, he’s in…why…who opens a travel…? She goes, it was your idea. Well, who opens a travel agency, though, especially on…? She goes, well, that was your idea, too. Then Howard’s…he shows up 'cause his watch stopped, so he doesn't even know what time it is. Then he’s like, can I have a brownie? We’re like, we don’t have any brownies. Can I have some tea? No. Carol’s got coffee. So, then we’re like, maybe Larry should move his office. We could support you a little bit financially. Or maybe he should go back to his old job. Larry’s very contrarian, so he won't take any support, he won't go back to his old job.
Then I say, Howard, what should we do? It’s interesting because Howard says, you gotta be clear and…he tells all of us, actually. He goes, I would just tell him, grow up. We tried to help you. This is your responsibility. Instead of saying negative things, do something about it. We all judge Howard. We’re like, Howard, that’s too much tough love. Howard goes, okay, well, you can deal with it your way, then. Bye. Then…but all of us are like, Howard, that’s just not nice. He needs to be nicer…we need to be nicer. Then it’s like…then we were at the office. It’s decorated for the Yukon. Larry wants to just sit around my office. He’s like, I got nothing to do, so…I say, shouldn’t you be working on finding a new location or customers? Nah. Why don’t you go back to your old job? No. What if we loan you a little money to find a new office?
No. So, then I tell him…I go full Howard. I go, you need to do something, man, because I don't want to hear any more complaining. I only want to hear about what you’re doing. He goes, you know what? You’re right. Now, I didn’t tell him that I got it from Howard, but he goes, I’ve been trying to please everybody and I kinda got frozen. So, I’m just gonna do it my way. I got some vision. I don't know, that was kinda my week, I guess, 'cause then Larry’s out of my hair. I’m just back to my normal routine. I apologized to Emily and Carol. I still gotta apologize to Howard and Jerry, but…yeah. Okay, well, that’s good, Bob. I’ll see you next week. Let’s go to sleep. Yeah, let’s go to sleep right now. Starting to fall asleep and drift off. Probably have some dreams related to your assistant’s ideas. Goodnight, everybody.
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(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)