
Bedtime stories to help grown ups fall asleep in the deep, dark night.
1216 – Toys R Us Kids 80s Holiday Flyers
Let’s page through past paper pointlessly with the joy of toys and meanders.
-
Seasonal / Catalog
Gift Wrapping
https://food52.com/blog/23472-best-way-to-wrap-gifts-according-to-professional-gift-wrapper
https://kudosgiftwrap.co.uk/blogs/news/the-importance-of-gift-wrapping
https://www.sapiens.org/culture/gift-wrapping-reason/
Toys R Us
https://www.history.com/news/toys-r-us-closing-legacy
https://www.everything80spodcast.com/toys-r-us-the-downfall-of-the-toy-giant/
https://money.cnn.com/2018/03/17/news/companies/toys-r-us-history/index.html
NES vs SEGA
https://www.cbr.com/nintendo-sega-rivalry-history/
https://www.gamespot.com/gallery/sega-vs-nintendo-a-history-of-the-epic-video-game-/2900-165/
https://www.denofgeek.com/games/sega-vs-nintendo-revisiting-the-deadliest-console-war/
Teddy Ruxpin
https://www.cnet.com/culture/entertainment/features/teddy-ruxpin-history-disney-atari-2017-return/
https://www.everything80spodcast.com/teddy-ruxpin/
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/81691/bear-necessity-story-teddy-ruxpin
DOWN TO BUSINESS
I have a catalog of imperfections
My sense is about as fuzzy as Teddy Ruxpin
Deep Dark Night United
Melanie (Zocdoc)
PLUGS
Friends of Hand in Hand; Pete Davidson SNL Cold Open; Trevor Project; Midnight Mission; Patreon; SleepPhones; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline; Referral Program
SPONSORS
Hello Fresh; Polysleep; Odoo; Helix Sleep; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive
INTRO
There’s a lot of other people listening, too
Early Wakeups, I don’t even know why
My inner coach telling me, “We’re good”
I shouldn’t be going on a tangent this soon
My waking up too early mini-drama
I’ve got to get to that room of water, Coach!
It’s like if a toddler, baby boomer, and teen combined
My inner coach just wanted to do some mindless scrolling
You probably had an expectation that someone reasonable would host this show
Just Barely Not Moving
I just want to be a mild distraction for you
You could be listening while you’re wrapping gifts
Rapping to gifts
My Rapping / Wrapping Gifts Experience
Wrapping Gifts / Rapping Gifs / The Rapping Jifs
I’ll be here rap rap rapping about nonsense
I don’t want you to miss out on the intro
Wrap Rap Wrapping
I’m probably the worst gift wrapper in the world
I’ve never seen that technique before
STORY
This will cover some conspicuous consumption
Oops, some images didn’t download
A sense of regionality in a region where you didn’t live
I didn’t have Toys R Us, but WPIX gave me a window into NYC life
We only had Lionel Kitty City and KB Toy Story
We rarely went to Lionel Kitty City
I think most of our toy shopping happened at … Ames?
Babies R Us, I had a little more experience with
“I’m a Toys R Us Kid”
I couldn’t find any Lionel Kitty City flyers alas
First flyer from 1987
This Toys R Us was open until midnight
The cover features a boy in an Oxford shirt
It came with a copy of Bird Watch
This was the first NES package, I believe
There were multiple Goonies video games??
Oh, man, a R.O.B the Robot playmate
My friend had “Rygar”
Rygar’s background sunset was so beautiful
Fun Time Barbie comes with her own watch, only $9.99
A digital watch in the style of a Swatch Watch
Barbie is in some sort of denim
If it looks good on Gosling … well, everything looks good on Gosling
This slogan is actually surprisingly neutral
Transformers Technobot Gift Set
5 Transformers that become 1 Giant Robot
Teddy Ruxpin impressed my dad so much that he bought stock in the company
There’s little muppet dolls
Teddy Ruxpin was our first exposure to animatronics
Seasonal outdoor animatronics really leaped forward in 2018
Teddy Ruxpin still kicks rear today
Explaining Teddy Ruxpin and Tickle Me Elmo
The 80s were a time for keyboards, man
All different price points for Keyboards
I have to google this Muppet Babies keyboard
I had a keyboard one step below the cheapest one listed here
Different Stereo Systems
What do you do with a triple cassette player?
I remember these less expensive audio equipment companies
Expressive Answering Machine for your school locker??
Fisher Price Tape Recorder – a classic
Oh boy Tiger Electronics – these were the worst
There was no joy in these – pure style over substance
Don’t play any VCR or DVD based video games!
INTV System 3
Atari 2600 – that was $50!
Just send this episode to the past, man!
Wiz Kid to teach math, spelling, and reading
CONNOR for teaching
Alfie 2
Microphone Animal Sounds
Playskool Little Entertainer
A synth station for a child
P-Roll’s Rockin’ USA Singing Guitar
Board Games
Dizzy Dizzy Dinosaur
Super Jock Football
Outburst
Jeopardy board game
Therapy the Game??
Deluxe Uno
Hi Ho Alphabet
Boggle Bowl
Deluxe Wheel of Fortune
Parker Brother’s ‘Instant Replay”
Foam Dart Game
The New Newlywed Game
Solarquest??
That looks like a game within Starfield
You’re better off playing these games at an arcade
Plastic Ball – cute electric buddy that scurries on command
The Deal of the Century, Teddy Ruxpin
Baby Teddy Ruxpin was 39.99
Storytelling Animatronic Alf
Sport Popples – a plus that you could roll into a ball
Barbie and Soft Rocking Friends
Benji from Fun Farm
Fantosaurs from Mighty Star
Puppies from Tonka
Puffalumps – cow / pig / bear / bunny with removable clothes
Kenner was selling Fluffy Puppies
Time for the legit stuff
Teddy Ruxpin is dressed in some sort of smock
It’s good that I’m not allowed to time travel, according to Time Law
This home animatronic actually works
You could buy additional story books and cassettes
Teddy’s sidekick Grubby
Grubby is wild
Grubby looks kind of cute
The Heart Family toysets
Ooh, generic Barbie playsets!
I think my sister had Barbie’s townhouse
Nothing better than a play kitchen
We might have had this very play kitchen growing up
Ooh, here’s some Big Wheels
I loved the Muppet Babies
Oh yeah, Rubber Wrestlers!
Silver Hawks?
Mad Balls?
Gosh, that’s a lot of slot car racing
Science labs with slime
Back when I was a kid, every child had to have a telescope and microscope
Mets uniform – $19.99
Zelda 2 came out this year
My friend had the SEGA
I remember playing Afterburner with him
There used to be a toy company called Galoob
I would have loved this GI Joe mobile command playset
This kid’s outfit is great
This bouncing ball that looks like Saturn
Oh wow, Jenga was already around
I found 1988 – does this one have the store hours?
Oh, we went through both 1987 and 1988. Whoops!
Open until midnight Monday – Saturday and 10pm on Sundays
Play Doh Fun Factory – I remember this
Play Doh Dust Busters Kit?? Cool!
LEGO Battery Run Train Set
Get a mobile for the newborn in your life
Don’t buy your bike from Toys R Us
PATREON / FOLLOWING THANKS
Pete, Lana, Tyler, Samuel, Eric Norr, Dawson, Sasha, Andy, Vanessa, Lisa, Martin
SUMMARY:
Episode: 1,216
Title: Toys R Us 80s Holiday Flyers
Deep Dark Night United: Melanie (Zocdoc)
Plugs: Friends of Hand in Hand; Pete Davidson SNL Cold Open; Trevor Project; Midnight Mission; Patreon; SleepPhones; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline; Referral Program
Sponsors: Hello Fresh; Polysleep; Odoo; Helix Sleep; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive
Patreon / Following Thanks: Pete, Lana, Tyler, Samuel, Eric Norr, Dawson, Sasha, Andy, Vanessa, Lisa, Martin
Notable Language:
- Catalog of Imperfections
- Mini-Drama
- My Inner Coach
- Just Barely Not Moving
- Gratuitous Pregnant Pauses
- Wrapping Gifts / Rapping Gifs / The Rapping Jifs
- Imaginary Business Plan
- Child-Sized Animatronic (CSA)
- Microphone Animal Sounds
- Galoob
Notable Culture:
-
- Teddy Ruxpin
- “Waterfalls” – TLC
- Rapping Gifts
- Edgar Allan Poe – “The Raven”
- Ecto-Cooler
- Toys R Us
- Carvel Ice Cream
- NES
- Sega
- Alex P Keaton
- Duck Hunt video game
- Goonies
-
- Barbie
- Ryan Gosling
- Transformers
- Tickle Me Elmo
- Muppet Babies
- Starfield
- GI Joe
- Star Wars
- Jenga
Notable Talking Points:
- There’s a lot of other people listening, too
- Early Wakeups, I don’t even know why
- My inner coach telling me, “We’re good”
- I shouldn’t be going on a tangent this soon
- My waking up too early mini-drama
- I’ve got to get to that room of water, Coach!
- It’s like if a toddler, baby boomer, and teen combined
- My inner coach just wanted to do some mindless scrolling
- You probably had an expectation that someone reasonable would host this show
- Just Barely Not Moving
- I just want to be a mild distraction for you
- You could be listening while you’re wrapping gifts
- Rapping to gifts
- My Rapping / Wrapping Gifts Experience
- Wrapping Gifts / Rapping Gifs / The Rapping Jifs
- I’ll be here rap rap rapping about nonsense
- I don’t want you to miss out on the intro
- Wrap Rap Wrapping
- I’m probably the worst gift wrapper in the world
- I’ve never seen that technique before
- This will cover some conspicuous consumption
- Oops, some images didn’t download
- A sense of regionality in a region where you didn’t live
- I didn’t have Toys R Us, but WPIX gave me a window into NYC life
- We only had Lionel Kitty City and KB Toy Story
- We rarely went to Lionel Kitty City
- I think most of our toy shopping happened at … Ames?
- Babies R Us, I had a little more experience with
- “I’m a Toys R Us Kid”
- I couldn’t find any Lionel Kitty City flyers alas
- First flyer from 1987
- This Toys R Us was open until midnight
- The cover features a boy in an Oxford shirt
- It came with a copy of Bird Watch
- This was the first NES package, I believe
- There were multiple Goonies video games??
- Oh, man, a R.O.B the Robot playmate
- My friend had “Rygar”
- Rygar’s background sunset was so beautiful
- Fun Time Barbie comes with her own watch, only $9.99
- A digital watch in the style of a Swatch Watch
- Barbie is in some sort of denim
- If it looks good on Gosling … well, everything looks good on Gosling
- This slogan is actually surprisingly neutral
- Transformers Technobot Gift Set
- 5 Transformers that become 1 Giant Robot
- Teddy Ruxpin impressed my dad so much that he bought stock in the company
- There’s little muppet dolls
- Teddy Ruxpin was our first exposure to animatronics
- Seasonal outdoor animatronics really leaped forward in 2018
- Teddy Ruxpin still kicks rear today
- Explaining Teddy Ruxpin and Tickle Me Elmo
- The 80s were a time for keyboards, man
- All different price points for Keyboards
- I have to google this Muppet Babies keyboard
- I had a keyboard one step below the cheapest one listed here
- Different Stereo Systems
- What do you do with a triple cassette player?
- I remember these less expensive audio equipment companies
- Expressive Answering Machine for your school locker??
- Fisher Price Tape Recorder – a classic
- Oh boy Tiger Electronics – these were the worst
- There was no joy in these – pure style over substance
- Don’t play any VCR or DVD based video games!
- INTV System 3
- Atari 2600 – that was $50!
- Just send this episode to the past, man!
- Wiz Kid to teach math, spelling, and reading
- CONNOR for teaching
- Alfie 2
- Microphone Animal Sounds
- Playskool Little Entertainer
- A synth station for a child
- P-Roll’s Rockin’ USA Singing Guitar
- Board Games
- Dizzy Dizzy Dinosaur
- Super Jock Football
- Outburst
- Jeopardy board game
- Therapy the Game??
- Deluxe Uno
- Hi Ho Alphabet
- Boggle Bowl
- Deluxe Wheel of Fortune
- Parker Brother’s ‘Instant Replay”
- Foam Dart Game
- The New Newlywed Game
- Solarquest??
- That looks like a game within Starfield
- You’re better off playing these games at an arcade
- Plastic Ball – cute electric buddy that scurries on command
- The Deal of the Century, Teddy Ruxpin
- Baby Teddy Ruxpin was 39.99
- Storytelling Animatronic Alf
- Sport Popples – a plus that you could roll into a ball
- Barbie and Soft Rocking Friends
- Benji from Fun Farm
- Fantosaurs from Mighty Star
- Puppies from Tonka
- Puffalumps – cow / pig / bear / bunny with removable clothes
- Kenner was selling Fluffy Puppies
- Time for the legit stuff
- Teddy Ruxpin is dressed in some sort of smock
- It’s good that I’m not allowed to time travel, according to Time Law
- This home animatronic actually works
- You could buy additional story books and cassettes
- Teddy’s sidekick Grubby
- Grubby is wild
- Grubby looks kind of cute
- The Heart Family toysets
- Ooh, generic Barbie playsets!
- I think my sister had Barbie’s townhouse
- Nothing better than a play kitchen
- We might have had this very play kitchen growing up
- Ooh, here’s some Big Wheels
- I loved the Muppet Babies
- Oh yeah, Rubber Wrestlers!
- Silver Hawks?
- Mad Balls?
- Gosh, that’s a lot of slot car racing
- Science labs with slime
- Back when I was a kid, every child had to have a telescope and microscope
- Mets uniform – $19.99
- Zelda 2 came out this year
- My friend had the SEGA
- I remember playing Afterburner with him
- There used to be a toy company called Galoob
- I would have loved this GI Joe mobile command playset
- This kid’s outfit is great
- This bouncing ball that looks like Saturn
- Oh wow, Jenga was already around
- I found 1988 – does this one have the store hours?
- Oh, we went through both 1987 and 1988. Whoops!
- Open until midnight Monday – Saturday and 10pm on Sundays
- Play Doh Fun Factory – I remember this
- Play Doh Dust Busters Kit?? Cool!
- LEGO Battery Run Train Set
- Get a mobile for the newborn in your life
- Don’t buy your bike from Toys R Us
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Hi, you can call me Scooter.
Drew Ackerman is the creator and host of Sleep With Me, the one-of-a-kind bedtime story podcast featured in The New York Times, The New Yorker, Buzzfeed, Mental Floss, and NOVA. Created in 2013, Sleep With Me combines the pain of insomnia with the relief of laughing and turns it into a unique storytelling podcast. Through Sleep With Me, Drew has dedicated himself to help those who feel alone in the deep dark night and just need someone to tell them a bedtime story.