Episode 1494 – Sleepy Super Dave Osborne | Crossover
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, lords and ladies and everyone in between, it’s time for the sleep podcast that’s here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. It’s time for Sleep With Me. Hopefully we could be your friend in the deep, dark night, maybe bring you some sleepy joy and delight. Sleep With Me is a podcast that hangs out with you like a friend so that you could drift off into sleep and fall asleep. But if you can't sleep at all, we're here to keep you company. Tonight’s gonna be a fun crossover episode. So, there will be a companion episode to this one appearing on the Sleep Whispers or Calm History that you could also check out to double your sleeping pleasure. But yeah, I’m really glad you're here. If you're new to the show, welcome. This podcast is very different. It does take some getting used to, so give it a few tries. I’m gonna explain everything here coming up.
If you're one of those people that listens whenever you’re having a tough time with sleep, whenever life gets tough and impacts your sleep, whenever you're going through something, this podcast is a resource that you come back to. I’m so happy to be here for you and be of service. If you're one of our super listeners that listens night after night, year after year, episode after episode, we’d love for any of you super listeners particularly to be a part of this thing. You'll get so much more out of it just by letting one person know about the show. Maybe change their life like the show changed your life, or you could think about supporting the show directly or think about checking out one of these sponsors. Thanks.
Intro: Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. That could be thoughts, thoughts on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, stuff you're thinking about, it could be feelings, anything…feelings coming up for you related to those thoughts or feelings that are just there, it could be physical sensations, thoughts and feelings about physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, travel, guests, changes in your work schedule, or maybe you just work a different schedule. Maybe you're in the middle of something, getting over something.
Whatever it is, I’m here to try to help, to do my best to help relieve whatever it is…I don't know. I’m not here to fix anything, really, though…I don't know, it’s like…kinda like if somebody offers to take your shopping cart back. Can I help you with that? That’s what this show is about, because I know…using the shopping cart metaphor; if it’s raining or it’s warm out or you're in a hurry or you've got a pet or a…kids waiting for you…or you say, oh yeah, if you take my cart back, that’d be great. Or if you go to the shopping cart place where you pay twenty-five cents…you say, hey, do you want my cart? ‘Cause I don't always have a quarter on me, and I really appreciate it when people leave their shopping cart out at the old Aldi's. Aldi's is a grocery store, a discount grocery store. I think it’s okay to say that. They sell stuff at a discount or Aldi's brand. They have…in order to make sure you return your cart, you use a quarter to unlock…all the carts kinda lock together.
Believe me, if you're wondering about…oh, wait a second, is this…? Did I already start the podcast? Oh, I did. Okay, good. I was like, wait a second. But when I heard about this, I was like…'cause we didn't have Aldi's where I lived in California. Then I was like, wait a second…and then they started to open up in Central New York, which a lot of my family lived. I said, wait, wait, you gotta…I'm sorry, what? Then I couldn't quite picture it in my mind. Then even when I saw it in operation, I was like, okay, this makes perfect sense, but it was kinda mind-boggling. But basically it’s the same…and I don't know if this is only a US thing, right? ‘Cause we drive a lot more. But you like…you take your shopping cart at Aldi's…you take it right back…the store has their shopping cart parking. Then there’s different styles, 'cause I’ve…that’s my main place I go nowadays. So, there’s different ways a quarter can go depending on the age of the shopping cart or the purchase date or the store preference.
But you put a shiny…well, good news; a quarter does not have to be shiny. Occasionally I’ll just…somebody will try to hand me a quarter. I’ll be like, don't worry about it. That’s when I should take the quarter, 'cause I’m like, oh man, that was my last quarter. But anyway, this show…I think we just…that was a met…accidental meta moment, because I just showed how the show works by trying to create a metaphor about the intention behind the show. Which, you say, hey, let me hold the door for you. Hey, let me…in regards to sleep. The only reason I talk about sleeplessness and loneliness or my non-positive experiences with sleep is so you get a sense you're not alone. You get a sense you're around other people that are like, hey, can I help you with that bag? Hey…or people that are just sending you kindness 'cause they understand. I guess the shopping cart metaphor kinda stops there. But it’d be like…well, what if you were going around the grocery store and people just…?
I mean, I know without our imagination it would be strange. But if people were giving you knowing, kind looks, or when you're looking at your list or whatever, or if you don't have a quarter, the other person might not have a quarter, too, and they just shrug and be like, yep, me, too. We're just a couple of quarterless people without…'cause if you don't have a quarter, by the way, then you…I’ve had to improvise or cut down on what I’m gonna buy or hang out and hope a shopping cart turns up or somebody gives me theirs. This is…so, the show is…I make it 'cause I’ve been there. People listening have been there maybe in the same situation or a very similar situation to you, whatever it is that brought you here.
There’s tons of people listening right now in this moment rooting for you to get the sleep you need, hoping you get the rest you need on a regular basis so your life is more manageable tomorrow, hoping you could be out there in the world flourishing, like if this show becomes a part of your bedtime routine or I introduce you to something else that works, because our world’s a better place with you in it, and it is nice to be part of a indirect community I think whether you're a introvert or a extrovert or somewhere in between, and that you can send kindness right now in this moment. You can receive kindness right now in this moment. You could imaginarily blow imaginary kisses to people’s pet fishes or their…whatever pets they have, pet rocks. It’s been a little while since pet rocks have come up on the show. Here's…I probably have talked about this before, but this just popped in my brain. What if someone…?
Someone must have been at a gravel pit or something or on a stony beach, and they were like, you know what we need to commercialize? Rocks. Someone was like, ha, ha, ha, that’s in jest, eh? No, I’m serious. I’m gonna commercialize rocks. Oh, for jewellery? No. For landscaping? No. For what then? Oh, kinda like toys. Huh, toy rocks? I don't know about…more of like companionship. Pet rocks. Like pet rocks…like you're gonna pet a rock? No, no, we're gonna call it a pet rock. Okay. Sounds like…nowadays it sounds like a sub-genre of math rock or something. Well, it’s a pet rock. It’s not…it doesn't really rock. It’s music…I don't know. It’s a future genre. It’s a non-NFG, non-functioning genre right now. But yeah, I never learned what math rock was, and a couple of the other ones. So, I gotta figure out is a pet rock just for pet rocks, or…what was I talking about originally? I have no idea. So, I don't know how I was trying to tie pet rocks into this podcast, honestly.
Oh, blowing kisses to pet rocks. Oh, I was gonna say before I went on that tangent that pet rocks would probably say, you know who doesn't get enough kisses? Pet rocks don't. You're blowing kisses to fishes, to puppies, to kitty cats, to other cute things or even cool-blooded pets that people love. What about rocks? I’d say, you're correct. You are…and I’m not being facetious, but you are under appreciated. I would say you’re appreciated, but yeah, you're under-appreciated. I mean, I have a couple friends that love rocks. By the way, optional, but let’s all…you could…again, this is where you could participate or not participate, or you could also receive, 'cause I think we all have a bit of pet…PS…pet rock…PS…pet rock…pet rock internal…I can be a bit of a pet rock. But someone…if someone said that to me, they would not be meaning it compliment…you're being a bit of a pet rock.
Say, oh, is my pet rocking…is that really making…'cause you have a pet peeve about my pet rocking…PRB, pet rock behavior? So, let’s all blow some kisses if you so choose to pet rocks, to rocks everywhere. Rocks, tonight I salute you. Stones, you're…pebbles, you're also included. Gravel; obviously. Anything out there. Minerals, oh boy. Do we…we're blowing our kisses. You could kiss your biceps and blow them to rocks, you could kiss your hand, or you could just do a smoochie fish face for rocks everywhere and anyone under the rock category. So, anyway. But that’s why I make a sleep podcast. But when you first…oh, how does the show work? Well, I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents, which we’ve already had a few. I go off topic, I get mixed up, then I forget what I was talking about. It’s all to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep.
But it does take some getting used to, clearly. This show is very different. I mean, we're already far afield. I don't know…I mean, I don't want to brag, but how many kisses have been sent out through other podcasts to rocks and minerals everywhere? If minerals could vote…I mean, I would assume I wouldn't be in the top 100 of…the top 100 favorite podcasts of minerals, stones, pebbles, rocks, whatever else. I forgot. But I mean, maybe I could be in the top 101 to 250. Maybe? I mean, I don't know. Or top 500? They’d say, huh, that’s strange. Sleep With Me podcast is there at 298. They say, well, he was pandering to stones. He forgot stones, but then he decided to pander to them. Yeah, he had his…it was only for like four minutes that he was in the top 500 of rock-based podcasts. Those are pod…that’s a different genre. Not rock podcasts and not podcasts about rocks, not mineral…no, a podcast for rocks and minerals, stones, pebbles, everything.
So, when you first get here, you may be cynical or doubtful or skeptical. Why wouldn't you be if you've had trouble sleeping and you're trying to find something to help you sleep and then you start listening to me, and this is a bit nonsensical? So, if you are skeptical, doubtful, not sure, alls I can tell you is we’ve been making the show a long time. What the regular listeners say and what they've said for the whole history of the show is, hey, it takes a couple tries to get used to this podcast. But when it clicks — which it doesn't actually click; you just don't…you stop noticing — people are like, man, I had no idea something like this was out there. I had no idea that I’ve been looking for this my whole life. This is it. This is what I was trying to find, but I didn't think it existed, or I wouldn't even have known. So, just give it a few tries and see how it goes.
If it doesn't work out, I have a website set up, so don't worry; sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. You could find other sleepy stuff on there or whatever. But just go to sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou if it doesn't help you. Or if you already know; you're like, no, this is not for me, yeah, that’s sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, so that way you still find something that could help you fall asleep. It’s got what I’ve tried, all the sleep podcasts I’ve tried. So, try that out. But otherwise see how it goes. You got nothing to lose. One of the things that does take some getting used to is that it’s a podcast you don't really listen to. So, it’s like a out-of-focus picture or sand passing through your hands, a TV on in the other room, a show streaming under your pillow, wind in the trees, clouds in the sky, something that’s there and not there. Like, maybe you've used an audiobook or you've had a friend talk to you in person or on the phone and just kept you company while you fell asleep, or a partner or a roommate or a seminar or a class or a presentation or audiobook or a show.
It’s like nice water passing through your toes. It’s something that is there and soothing but not engaging. That’s what the show is about. That takes some getting used to. Also, this is a sleep podcast, and I’m not here to put you to sleep. There is no pressure to fall asleep to this show. There’s a reason the episodes are over an hour. There’s a reason why we put episode after episode after episode out. There’s over 600 shows you could access, at least 600 shows, so you don't have to worry about falling asleep in twenty minutes or after the episode ends. Or, what if I…will I have an episode to listen to every single night for the next year? Yeah, you will. We got you, 'cause there’s no pressure to fall asleep. My job is to keep you company, not to put you to sleep, to take your mind off of stuff, to be a distraction, to be a misdirection. Talk about misdirected, right? That would be…maybe that should be my biography. Or, I guess it doesn't work as a pun.
Like, if it was a musical about me, I don't think it would work, but…'cause that’s better as a pun. But Misdirected. So, I’m…yeah, that’s what I’m here to do, 'cause my job is to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your neighbore, your borebie, your boreman, your bore-bruh, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your Boris Borelaf, your chairman of the boreds, your Big Borebowski, your Barbra Borestrand. A bore-friend is just here for you like a rambling in the deep, dark night, a friend you could turn to when you need to. That’s what a bore-friend does. But it does…if you haven't had a bore-friend before…I think everybody’s tried it in some manner, whether it’s direct or indirect or…the accidental bore-friend. So, yeah, just see what it’s like having a bore-friend. The last thing I like to run through for new listeners is the structure of the show. It really throws new listeners off understandably, like these other things throw new listeners off.
The show is structured in a specific way to benefit the maximum amount of people it can, but it is adjustable. But there’s a reason behind everything. So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so anybody can feel seen and welcomed in and say, huh, I’ll check that out. Sounds…he said something else that was silly. Maybe he was talking about whatever he was talking about earlier that he forgot about, kissing pet…he kisses pet rocks, apparently. I mean, I kiss…well, kiss…have you kissed a stone today? I don't know. What's the difference…? I have no idea what the difference between a stone and a rock is. You have me at a disadvantage, and this is…I have myself at a disadvantage. Holy cow. Yeah, I don't know the difference. So, I’ll just kiss them all. It’s kinda like Pokemon but with kissing of…probably not a great…again, we're talking about metaphorically or blowing kisses.
Just to be clear, stones, I’d have to consider your…I just don't want…yeah, you get it. I prefer to blow kisses to stones, unless I’m feeling really silly. Okay, so, what was I trying to explain? Oh, the structure of the show. So, the show starts off with a greeting, then there’s support so that anyone can discover the podcast or find it, because if it’s out there for free, anybody can discover it or use it when they want to, 'cause a lot of people only use the show for a couple weeks at a time a few times a year, though there are people that listen all the time or listen to more than one episode a night. So, we serve a bunch of different audiences, kind of. But the most important audience is the person that needs the show but hasn't found it yet. Then the people that count on the show that would prefer to just have this…where paying for it’s optional. But it does take…believe it or not, if you're new…it’s okay to not believe this, but it does take a ton of work to make the show. But we love it.
We love doing it. So, that’s what the support’s about. Then totally separate from the support is a show within a show, the intro, which is not related to the support. But when you're new, it kinda lumps all in, I think. Or if you're already…you don't think the show is for you or whatever, and that’s okay, too. But the intro is the part of the podcast where I try to introduce what the podcast is and I go off on a different topic each time. Honestly, tonight the same things happen which happens a lot; I’m like, okay, I’ll just do a straightforward intro. I don't have any material on mind, so I’ll just go through the intro, and maybe it’ll only take fifteen minutes. Then we get all these new tangents. That keeps the show fresh for whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, 'cause I feel like the show has to follow a familiar structure and be reassuring but always be fresh, because whatever keeps me up at night, it doesn't like repetition. It just doesn't.
It likes consistency and routine, but when it comes to those last couple…the final part of the wind-down, especially with audio, it can't be repetitive. So, that’s why every intro is fresh, and the other reason we make the intros and the reasons they're like fifteen to thirty minutes long is to ease you into bedtime. The intro is not so much to put you to sleep but to help you wind down. So, most people are getting ready for bed, chilling out in another room, winding down, doing some relaxing activity, petting pets, blowing kisses, looking out the window, doodling, knitting, playing with Legos, foam-rolling, maybe in bed getting comfortable. But yeah, the intro is not meant to put you to sleep. If you find you don't like the intros, we have another podcast, Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me, with just stories. But the intro’s kinda like a sleepover. Like, who knew we’d talk about pet rocks? We also…I think there was something else I went on a tangent about or before that that I don't even remember.
But yeah, the intro is like a meandering path, but it’s kinda like a sleepover when we're all kinda just talking to one another and giggling, and you just have this nice feeling that you're with good friends and in good company. Then it makes it easier to drift off. So, that’s the intro, then there will be support, then there will be our bedtime story. Tonight it’ll be kind of a…something we don't do super often, but it’s a companion show, kinda like we did with Local Files Club. This is with our friend Harris at Sleep Whispers and Calm History. So, I’m gonna talk about one of my heroes or a character played by one of my heroes, Super Dave Osborne, and maybe I’ll do a little factual stuff, but mostly it’ll be kind of a meandering story inspired or influenced by Super Dave. Then on the other podcast they're gonna talk about Mr. E Knievel, who was…Super Dave and Mr. Knievel are kinda related strongly. Not related.
Actually, when you find out who Super Dave’s related to, you'll really be like, wow, talk about talent. But their…Super Dave was influenced by Mr. Knievel. I was more…I was too young for Mr. Knievel, so I was like…anyway, don't worry. It’s all coming up. All told, we’ll be here a bit over an hour to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff. I’m really glad you're here if you're new, you're coming back to the show. If the show has absolutely changed your life, we’d love for you to be a part of the life of the show, like a part of the thing that keeps it going for everybody, and you could do that by letting one person know about the show, by being kind around the podcast, commenting, following, whatever, or by considering supporting the show directly or one of these sponsors. Thanks.
Alright everybody, this is Scoots here, and this is a special episode. Make sure to listen to the companion version about Mr. Knievel over on…I think it’s gonna be a Whisperpedia episode on Sleep Whispers, but it also may be in Calm History. I just work pretty far out. But my version is gonna be kind of…I don't know. First I’m gonna talk a little bit about Super Dave Osborne in case you're not familiar with him, and maybe to lead you on a journey if Super Dave or Bob Einstein resonates with you. If he doesn't, that’s totally fine, too, 'cause this will be like a sleepy journey through some of Super Dave’s stuff, a reimagining. But Super Dave and then Bob had a huge influence on me comedically, I guess, in a sense, or what I appreciate about comedy or love about comedy. I think the first thing is I didn't know who Bob Einstein was, and maybe you don't…and that’s kind of in a sense a testament because I mean, if you start to go down the rabbit hole, you'll be like, holy cow, this is one of the most appreciated comedic minds.
Any appearances Bob was on or any show he was on, you could just see that…whether it was Conan or Letterman or any other shows or just with his cast that he worked with, you could just see the appreciation, and they couldn't tell where he was gonna take things comedically, but he also had what could be called a specific style, which was kind of somewhat dull, straightforward…I don't know if nonplussed is the right word. There is some terms for it. But he was…he played…well, I guess I don't…I didn't know him. But when he was performing to entertain people, he played a character, and one of his characters was Super Dave Osborne. Bob did get his start out at the Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour, and I haven't even seen…that was like a generation before I was watching stuff, and I never have seen any repeats of it, so I will have to dive into that. But let’s talk about Super Dave Osborne for just a few minutes.
It was a character created and played by comedian Bob Einstein, and this is from Wikipedia, but it’s a summary of it. It was a little bit naive, always optimistic. He was somebody that did…he was a stunt person, and frequently things did not work out for him. He also, I would say, had a huge ego, but it played out in this…in character. He’s called an accomplished stunt person, though he was rarely successful. Everything was very elaborate. They never…I always went in…things turned out in unpredictable ways. Some of the bits were…there were some recurring bits or recurring takes on bits. What do I mean by that? Like, kinda like the things that recur on the show that you may or may not find funny, but some people must if I keep repeating them. I don't even know…oh, like malaise. So, there’s some things which we’ll talk about maybe in the fictionalized, imaginary version. Super-dull Dave Osborne. Let’s see, yeah, and it was almost cartoonish.
I think there was a cartoon version of the show. I guess I’ll keep reading this Wikipedia thing. Later…sometimes in shows he would be talking after or he had a couple people he worked with that would be talking…well, actually, we were gonna…Bob was about to do…or Super Dave was about to do a special. He always wore something similar to Mr. Knievel. He had different logos over the years, and then he has…for a while he had a stunt coordinator also played by a comedian, and then this former sports caster announcer, his name was Mike Walden…and he had…well, it was just…there’s just so much to it. It was spread over…I don't know if he started doing Super Dave in the seventies or the eighties. Maybe we’ll find out. But I mean, I must have discovered it…I don't even know how I discovered it, but I discovered it at some point in the eighties when I was a kid because the humor is…is that what broad humor is? I don't think…it could appeal to any age group.
Some of it was a little bit over my head or I didn't understand. But I did understand what was funny about it, which was that it wasn't supposed to be funny, and that this character was…you were supposed to take him seriously and not seriously at the same time. Then as I’ve rediscovered it, I’ve found so many more layers and details and even smaller repetitive jokes about the materials they use. It just makes me laugh so much. Just the depths of details…and it was like, was some of this improvised, which makes it even funnier, or was it written? Either way. Let’s see, trademarked things include thumbs up, his many uniforms, red, white, and blue, his different things…oh yeah, there they even went…they talk about some of his…a lot of it was manufactured in Saskatchewan. Yeah, he appeared on all these parts of these different shows. What else do we have? But yeah, was there…? There was movies. There’s also documentaries, I believe. Let’s see.
There was a feature film and commercials, and even in the 1990s for Haggar Clothing. Interesting. So, that’s it on Wikipedia about Super Dave. You could also go to…and I’ll have the links in the show notes to the episode, the crossover episode we're doing, and then to just Bob Einstein’s website. At first I was like, I’m not even gonna talk…I'll let you discover Bob. But if you watch Curb Your Enthusiasm or Arrested Development, you might already be familiar with him, or if you watch late-night comedy shows. Bob was an Emmy-winning…Emmy award-winning writer, comedian, actor, producer. Created characters like Super Dave Osborne and Officer Judy from the Smothers Brothers. He was Marty Funkhouser on Curb Your Enthusiasm. His career began…and like Scoots, he found his way a little bit younger than me. But at first he was not interested in being a comedian even though he was in…his father was a comedian and his brother is also a very funny, well-known entertainer or actor, comedian, writer.
But yeah, Bob was…had Officer Judy on…you could read more about his discovery and stuff. I don't want to…he’s very tall. He has a very distinctive voice. Oh, unflappable; that’s a good way to describe him. Yeah, Bob talks about in this…on his website, yeah, what he thought made him funny. I guess he is a bit of a ‘splainer in a good way. I mean, remember, this is a character he’s portraying. Yeah, there was numerous sketch shows where Super Dave or…and Bob was also behind the scenes doing the rest of the show, too. Yeah, now for contemporary audiences, he’d be recognized for his twenty-two episodes over a thirteen run on Curb Your Enthusiasm. If you really love Bob, there’s even on his website a place you could support, causes you could support in his honor. There’s also a link. He’s got a YouTube page. There’s also…there’s a Super Dave Osborne official page. There’s also some of their favorite videos on the website and a connection to his Twitter account, maybe?
So anyway, that’s a little bit about Super Dave Osborne and Bob Einstein. But let’s look at my notes here, because I want to take you on a journey with Super Dave. The first place we're gonna start is when…we're gonna join Super Dave as he goes on this amazing road trip across the US and Canada. There’s a sign seeing him off that says ‘Have a great trip, Super Dave’, and Mike Walden’s there. When you see Mike Walden, you're…as many kids said to me when I wore jackets like this in high school and middle school; is that…what are you wearing? Is that the inside of somebody’s…? Super Dave would have a better joke about it. He’s gonna be driving across the country in a bus. But first he pulls up in his Jeep. We're waiting for him. Him and his stunt coordinator, Fuji, who’s gonna be driving the bus, come in, and Super Dave’s very excited to head out and tell Mike about what…he said, yeah, this is a big deal. We're going on a road…so, I don't really have time to mess around.
You know, I'm gonna be going on a road trip. I will be doing stops on the road trip. I’ve got my uniform, I’ve got my friend. Mike, you're gonna be…even though this is a interview, you will be on the trip. Don't worry. This is a big deal 'cause I’m working with…I'm gonna be trying to…a positive impact on people who are driving on road trips. We're gonna tour around on a singalong. The Singalong Society of North America reached out to us and said, hey, could you help us by driving across the country singing on top of a bus? Don't worry, we’ll find a way that won't be distracting, 'cause this is an era where people were distracted. Super Dave said, well, there’s a chance to help? What am I…? The American Singalong Society wants me to help? Of course I’ll help. How can I help? They said, by just being you, Super Dave, and driving a bus on the highways and the byways and singing songs. He worked with Fuji and the rest of his team. They said, okay, let’s design a bus.
Well, he said, what is this…what are we…what's the big why? What's the impossible thing? ‘Cause that’s what Super Dave is all about, right? And compensation, he always says. But he said, what is the challenge? ‘Cause…and they said, okay, great. Well, it’s…yeah, you're not just singing to sing. He said, I do love to sing. They said, great. He said, I do love a good singalong. They said, terrific. But he said, and I do like…what's the budget of the American Singalong Society? They said, well, let’s talk about the big why, right? The challenge, 'cause this is…we don't even know if you're up to it, Super Dave. He said, okay, what's…so what’s your budget again? They said, we don't think you're up to the challenge. He said, the challenge of your…? You could just give me a number and then I’ll give you a number. They said, no, no, no, the challenge that we hope you can accomplish. But no one’s accomplished it, so…and they went on like this. It took a while ‘til he’s like, wait a second, did you say there’s something impossible?
They said, yeah. They said, how do you feel when you sing along with a song? He said, good. They said, how do you feel when you see someone in a car singing and they're happy and stuff? He said, good most of the time. Sometimes it depends. They said, okay, but if you were interviewed, what would you say? He goes, well, I’d say…if I…I’d say, well…I say, I like them being happy. They’d say, what is…is it hard to feel…have you ever sang when you've been in a bad mood? He said, yes, I’ve sang sad…singing sad songs. They said, what about if you're singing a happy song? He said, is this a sleep podcast? ‘Cause I thought this was…it seems like you're challenged at getting to the point. They said, well, yeah, this is just imaginary, but this isn't really happening. If it was, yeah, we would have got to the point. What is it hard to do when you're singing a happy song and you're in a good mood? He said, drink water. He said, do the budget for the American Singalong Society? They said, no. What else is…?
What is like a four…what are…a four-letter word you might…? He said, ‘sing’ is a four-letter word. So is ‘Dave’. They said, well, okay, so, our goal is to end highway profanity. He said, highways can swear? They said, no, like people using profanity on the highways. He said…and they said, in their cars while they're driving and when they're not singing happy songs. So, we want you to drive…they said, what if this was an alternative? This is the impossible dream. Imagine a highway where no one’s using profanity out of frustration. It’s not like…he goes, you're banning…? No, no, no. We're the American Singalong Society. We don't have any legal powers. He said, I’m just kidding. I understand. You want me to end…you think by me driving around the country…he goes, I’m not as thick as I seem. By me driving around the country singing along, inspiring people to sing along with me, it’s showing them the joy of singalongs as a campaign to end highway profanity of people frustrated on the highway.
Then he said a couple words that…they said, okay, that’s not…we get it. He said, can I ask, what do these two things have to do with each other? Is this…? They said, yeah, there’s a budget. He goes, yeah, that’s why we need you, Bob. I mean, Super Dave. Yes, this is a great, humongous grant from, you know, multiple highway departments, and we got…that’s why…but we happened to get the grant. Then we said, how is it possible…who could end highway…who could do this? We’d drive around on the top of a bus with a seatbelt, don't worry, and sing along. Then we got to you. Eventually we ended up on you. We said, but…'cause we did some tests and we realized this would work, but it would nearly…it’s pretty impossible at the same time. He said, you said my favorite three words plus two words; impossible, challenge, and there is a budget. They said, yeah. He said, consider this problem solved.
So, then that brings us to this present day with Mike Walden and Fuji, Dave getting rid of profanity on the highway unless…he’s not gonna pick…we could stop and pick stuff up, but…by singing along and inspiring other people to sing along. He goes, this idea is just wild enough to make sense. He even compared himself to the pied piper and the joy and the idea of a musical highway of non-profanity through the world. So, then we go and we see the bus, and it’s like any long…a Greyhound bus. It’s called the Singalong Bus. It’s got Super Dave’s crest on there. Inside is a place to sleep, and you could stay…a TV and a way to stay in touch with Super Dave Central for all his stuff. Then the top of it’s like a yacht. So, there’s a piano on there, there’s a couple lounge chairs, there’s shade, a place for him and Fuji to eat, a pitcher of water, a BBQ so they could cook their dinner, and a exercise bike, 'cause there’s nothing…it’s playing the piano and singing, but you could also ride a bike and sing.
So, and he’d been…now, Super Dave said, I’ve been training for this, so this is a big deal, and right now we're gonna set off so you could see my moves as we launch today. Super Dave’s Singalong Across North America, the Singalong Society of North America and the International…Across Northern Council to Reduce Profanity on the Highways and Byways. Dave starts off singing a song, King of the Road. Oh boy, does he love to sing, and oh boy, does he love to look at the camera and turn around. He’s a man of means by no means, but right now he is king of the road, sing, sing, singing along. But Dave’s also magic. So, as he sings and sings and sings, then he heads his way towards a magical, magical tunnel that you could sing along with, the Magical Tunnel of Singing Along, which was put in as part of the promotion of this. Because at first they were like, you know what the best place to sing along is is tunnels, 'cause there’s more echoes and stuff like that.
But what they found is that, yeah, it is better to just sing along in your car than to sing along outside of there. They call that the 1811 Tunnel. Then the next thing after Dave came out of the tunnel…we needed to take a break 'cause it was just a lot of driving and singing, and mostly singing King of the Road, 'cause once you get into a track that works, it’s kinda hard to get back out of it, you know? It was like, okay…now, the next thing they had to do…Mike Walden and Donald, they had to stop by Super Dave’s office to test this new thing out as a part of singing…sing…of…well, it was an invention they had been working on before they had committed to this idea. What happened was Donald…Mike’s trying to talk to Dave about it, and Donald keeps interrupting with all these details, incredibly detailed stuff about the crane case on the Jeep and all this stuff. But they also have this super computer, which at the time is cutting edge, and this car.
Now, this was before the show The Detectorists, which show…which has come up on the podcast a few times recently. But Dave was like, because the American Wardrobe Society had given Mike Walden an award…I don't know, that was like…they were renaming a part of Super Dave’s base after Mike. But it was also a chance to make sure that everybody knew about this new vehicle they had been working on. This was called The Detectoristists before the show. It was…maybe it was called The Detectorator, but it had…it could go…it could detect things…it kinda had sonar and metal detection. This was groundbreaking stuff. So, it could see basically anything in the ground, kinda like if you've ever been…had a fish finder. I was like, there’s something on a boat that can just find fish? I don't know if it was a kind of sonar. I don't know how it worked. But this was a car with a bubble. It looked kinda like a fancy car with a bubble on it, and then it had big arms out of the front of the car and the two sides of the car with gigantic circles, kinda like metal detectors.
As Dave would drive the car, it would look in the ground, and you could do different settings to see what was there. So, at 2,000 feet they could go down. He said, there’s shale down there, right? Yeah. Is it a gray shale, a blue shale, purple shale? Eh, it’s dark gray to black. Okay. Okay, let’s go from 220…reddish sandstone…okay, there’s another deposit. Let me drive around and see some more. Let’s set the car to…or let’s set the computer to Q5721. Yeah, then they see an aquifer, some mineral, then even some iron ore, which they're like, holy cow, iron ore. Then they realize that there’s a special train coming to pick Dave and his car up, which is the Super Dave Singalong Train. Neither one of them expect…no one expected it 'cause they…scheduling had changed. So, they're like, wait a second…so, Super Dave heads out to do that. The next stop…I can't remember where it was. I think it was near Los Angeles just because they were like…this one was this thing for this new movie, Grambo.
This was one of these things where, again, Dave’s giving Mike a hard time about his pajamas. He said, okay, well, I’ve been looking at doing this thing and kinda behind the scenes so people can see how this stuff works. This Grambo thing has this thing with a footlocker and a stopwatch, right? So, what we're gonna do is we're gonna hide this stopwatch, right, and then there’s a code on the inside of the footlocker. If you look up…this is kinda like a magic trick, he explains. The footlocker is gonna disappear when I put in the code, and then it’ll reappear up in a treehouse, and it’ll be kinda like the footlocker that the kids in the treehouse have. This is what I’m gonna do, is I’m gonna go in there, I’m gonna start the stopwatch so I can do it in sixty seconds, and then I’m gonna put the code in, and then the magic…the movie magic will happen, and then I’ll explain all of it. Also, it’s important for…if we're gonna get a A-level actor for this, that there’s gonna be a camera inside the footlocker to show when I’m putting the code in.
I’m gonna flex my muscles. But I’m wearing a jumpsuit, so it doesn't look like that. But he goes…you're gonna…I'm gonna tell you how the magic happens. But in the movie alls that’ll happen is that the footlocker will appear up in the treehouse. So, then they close up the footlocker. It’s got tube steel and all this stuff, and it’s a Super Dave-themed one they probably bought at some point. Its combination is 441442. Then Dave even says, okay, when I do that what’ll happen is there will be something underneath the footlocker, and the footlocker will go into that that makes it look like it disappears, but really it just goes down a floor. But then what happens is that he put…he has trouble seeing the code. So then of course it doesn't work out as it’s supposed to. A steamroller rolls over the footlocker as a part of the magic trick. Then Super Dave heads to Stockholm, Sweden to try to get the rights to sing ABBA songs as a part of the road thing.
He says, hey, if I could do this special trick for everybody, what if I do this…? I got this special car, Super Dave Osborne car. Looks like a AMC car. If I do that, can I get the rights to sing Waterloo or something? So, then Mike says, okay, but what are you gonna do? He says, okay, I’m gonna do a big trick. Don't worry. I got a very special car, very…made to do tricks. This also has a microphone in here so I can keep in touch with all of you. What they do is they do another magic trick. So, Super Dave says, okay, what I’m gonna do is the car is gonna get lifted up by a crane while I’m singing along to ABBA songs. Then he gets lifted up by this crane and he’s trying to sing out…almost pretend like he’s driving in the air. He sings a couple other ABBA songs, but then he realizes, well, a lot of people…there was that musical. No one seems to be singing…well, people are singing along if they can hear him, but they can't hear him.
So, then he makes the car into a cube that’s also a speaker so that people can sing along. So, it kinda looks like a karaoke speaker. But he can also hide inside of the karaoke speaker to sing out of it, which is also pretty amazing, right? Then he goes to Silverado Springs Resort in Colorado. He does a lot of stuff in Colorado. This time he comes in on a motorcycle. He’s not singing any ABBA, right? But everybody has signs. Welcome, Super Dave. We're so excited. You've been driving across the United States and Canada bringing goodwill, which we could…we could use Super Dave right now driving between…singing along. Why…yeah, why couldn't you have got…? Instead of ABBA you could have got Rush or some Canadian band. He says, I could get Rush. He goes, but…he goes, you can sing along to a Rush song, but Rush songs aren't exactly for singing along, Mike Walden. Mike says, well, what are you gonna do here in Colorado?
He says, well, I’m gonna do this special trick that people really find…he goes, 'cause sometimes people focus…they should only focus on the singing part of singing along and then let their bodies follow. Mike says, I don't understand. Dave says, well, this will be another magic trick for you then, Mike. Mike says, what do you mean? He says, just watch. Super Dave says, don't worry, I’m very…I'm gonna move so quickly, my body’s gonna move so quickly, Mike, that you're not…no one’s gonna be able to see it. He goes, as a matter of fact, everybody in the audience is just gonna think my body’s invisible. But what that’ll do is allow everybody to watch my mouth and my face singing along to the song. I’m gonna have my head in my hands, too, to prove that it’s real. So, he starts doing this, and somehow the illusion is amazing. First everybody says, we gotta…it’s kinda surreal. So, then he goes into a interview, and the other thing is that he kind of is doing this floppy thing, which is pretty funny.
He tries to sing some Rush songs. People can sing along a little bit, but it’s not sustainable. He said, if Rush was here…and then Rush appears. Then they…then he says, wait a second, is this pro bono or…or whatever they call it? Because…how much did the American Singalong Society pay for Rush to be here? ‘Cause I haven't got compensated. They said put an end to highway not-nice words. So, he’s like, you gotta be kidding me. So, he’s like, I gotta get back on the road, right? So, next thing we know, Mike’s…they're in Vancouver, Canada, and they're on the waterfront. This is like a Rubik's Cube trick, a throwback. Mike’s in a red blazer to show his support of Canada, I think. He says, I love both places that have red, or all places. So, he says, Dave, what are you gonna do today in Vancouver for us? He says, well, you know, people forgot about this Rubik's Cube thing. So he said, I’m gonna go into this box and I’m gonna solve a Rubik's Cube in the pitch dark, and I’m gonna do it in less than a minute, and I’m only gonna do it…I'm gonna be wearing gigantic mittens, too.
But if I can't solve it, Mike, you're gonna start singing instead of me. Mike says, sure, Dave. Don't worry, I’ll…and he goes, but I don't…he does…by the way, Mike, you're not a very…you're not as good a singer as me, and I don't want you singing King of the Road. Mike says, Dave, don't worry, I would never sing King of the Road. Why don't you get in there? I won't need to sing. You're gonna solve this Rubik's Cube. You're gonna be outta here, and we’ll move on, and Vancouver, Canada will know that…the power of singing along. He goes, by the way, wouldn't you think they could do the Rush songs…? Don’t, Mike. No Rush, no ABBA, no King of the Road. So, he goes in this box and he has a microphone. Then he realizes with the lights out and the mittens on…he’s like, wait a second, this might not be as easy as I thought it was gonna be. Mike’s…the whole time…then forty-five seconds is a lot faster than you think. So, Mike’s like, Dave, you want me to start singing? No, Mike.
I’m almost done. Dave, you want me to start singing? No, Mike. I’m gonna…please don't sing. I’ll be outta here in a second. Then he says, it’s almost…forty-five seconds is almost up. By no means…and then Mike starts singing King of the Road. Then Dave comes out of the box, takes off the mittens. He starts moving around so fast again that you can't…you can only see his head, which is like, that should be his signature move. Then a kid that has no idea who he is wants to take a picture with him after he just got done fishing. He said, kid, this is for the Council…American…North American Council of Singalong. The kid says some stuff, and he says, don't do that while you're on the highway, by the way. Now, the next thing he was gonna do was in Highland Springs, and it was gonna be a real…Mike was like, Dave, I thought this was gonna be a good one. Dave says, yeah, I really thought about this. I thought it was gonna be brilliant. He was gonna wear his suit and then a gigantic magnet.
Now, the magnet was not supposed to be real, but it was supposed to be a magnet for your songs. He was gonna stand on top of the van, superhero Dave Osborne now, and he was gonna use his magnet and point it at people. It would be like one of those giant cartoon magnets. Like, I’m talking like a huge U magnet with red, kind of on…attached to his chest and his belt, so it’s like coming out of him, and he’d be able to dance and point and stuff, and say, I’m a magnet for your singing along with these positive songs. He starts doing that, but he didn't realize that people would wonder if it was really magnetic. So, what happened, though, was strange, because it wasn't…it didn't matter. But this is just another sign of how Super Dave has to persist, is that people were throwing aluminum foil at him thinking it would stick to the magnets instead of singing along. So, he started singing Titanium because that was the only song…he couldn't think of any aluminum songs, and aluminium and tin, even though there probably were singalong songs.
Like, maybe there’s Rin Tin-Tin or something. I don't know. But he was singing Titanium 'cause that was the only song he could think of. People are throwing aluminum foil at him. Eventually he got a little down about it, because also they would stop and pick up the foil, and they had a whole entourage, and it caused a lot of traffic, which caused a lot of four-letter words. It also caused him to just be like…not like aluminum foil anymore. It even caused…this was the first time he got involved in any international thing, 'cause they were like…people were saying, no more foil. Then he said, I felt like a foil, you know? I feel like a foil. Now, luckily Sia heard about it, and she appeared with him. But then he said, whoa, whoa…what’s…? She said, oh, don't worry, they're just covering my costs. He said, yeah, but what is the budget they have for this whole thing? Your travel costs might be all…and then he said, you know what I’m gonna do now? Is I’m gonna…instead…I’m gonna go blindfold and sing.
So, then he started wearing a blindfold and singing along and looking at people, and that didn't really work good, either, because then he couldn't make…eye contact kinda was the key, even though there was a debate that’s like…he’s like, I’m only eye-contacting people on a road trip with their families, not the drivers. So, then that became…and he goes, I’m just trying to reduce four-letter words or more. That kinda just backfired, too, 'cause he was just doing his best to be like, hey, I want to do this. You know, I want to get…I want to help reduce highway bad words. So, then he kind of tried to partner with stuff. Or, I don't know who was behind it. But basically he went to Magic Mountain, and he was like, okay, I’m gonna try to do…set a better example here. He said, I’m gonna ride this roller coaster and I’m gonna sing along while I do it. He started to do that, but one, there was a lot of teens. So, they were…and they weren't all Super Dave fans.
Then also, singing on a…roller coasters are just so loud and theme parks are just so loud that while Dave’s heart was in the right place…he was riding this roller coaster. It was one of the older ones that’s also been featured in other movies, too. But it was still pretty loud, and it wasn't a central part of the park, but it was more like that people were like, who…is that somebody famous riding that ride? They said, it’s an imaginary story about Super Dave Osborne riding this ride, and imagination, so yeah, he’s just trying to sing along. What’s he singing? Something about brogues? No, King of the Road is what he’s singing. But he’s on a roller coaster. Well, he’s…he had sung other songs before, but there was a time when he was singing with Sia recently. But so, then he lost his voice for a while because he was like…whatever. So then he says, okay, I gotta figure out one last thing to do, right, to figure out…and he said, let me call the pod phone. He said, Scooter, what…?
He didn't actually call me, but if he did, he’d say, Scooter, what should I do? I’d say, Dave, you gotta do your greatest trick ever. But maybe you also need some…I think you should just keep…well, first of all, what if you just keep driving around singing King of the Road? Like, you go for the Guinness Book of World Records singing King of the Road on the road? Then he looked it up. He was like, no way. He start…he was doing math. He’s like, that’s like…he goes, that could be forty-two cents a day, 'cause it won't even cover Fuji. I said, okay, that was my first…I said, well, it’ll look like the global searches for International…or the North American Society for Singalong, they spiked when you appeared with a celebrity. He goes, okay. But also, what if you appear…what if you could get inadvertently involved in some sort of…you know when different hip-hop artists disagree with one another? He said, yeah. I said, what if you could get…?
I have one particular artist I’m thinking of in North…what if you go to Toronto? He said, okay, I could do that. I said, are you sure you don't want to go for the Guinness Book of World Record of singing King of the Road on the road? He said, I’m not…I'm pretty sure what the…he goes…I said, well, this celebrity is…this is someone very famous, and I’ve tried…they've never taken my calls before, but they also invented the pod phone. So, I mean, the term way back when I talked about it in 2013…they are from Toronto. I said, but maybe you could get The Weeknd…I was like, maybe we could get two Canadians, The Weeknd and Drake, and maybe they…I don't know if they get along or not, to be honest. I have no idea. He goes, okay. I said, and you appear…you do a singalong with them, like one of each of their songs or two of each of their songs. To his credit he started singing some of his favorite Drake songs and Weeknd songs, The Weeknd songs.
Then he said, that’s not…he goes, where are we gonna appear, though? That’s gotta be…that’s not good enough, you know? I said, appearing with The Weeknd and Drake’s not gonna be good enough? He said, no. Also, he goes, I guess you could…he goes, then it’s…he goes, yeah, I guess we could work out all the details of the sing…but he goes, there’s gonna be no money left for me. I said, but you may conquer this challenge of…he goes, then we're gonna have to cut out all the bad words from any of the songs. I said, you're right about that. I said, okay, how about this; what if…if we can't…let’s just imagine that we’ll try…what if we just tell them Drake and The Weeknd are appearing? ‘Cause if we can't get them…which is sounding more and more likely. He said, okay, that sounds very likely. You sing your favorite Drake and The Weeknd songs, which I know you have them, and you do it from the CN Tower, the top of the CN Tower? You'll be a shining beacon of kindness.
Like, all the way down North America, all the way down. You'll be at the…kinda like the top of North…I mean, not totally the top. Maybe it’s even the center of North America. I have no idea. He just looked at me patiently but not within patience, you know? Like he can do. He said, okay. He goes, I think that’ll get the attention we need. He goes, 'cause technically the metrics I needed…he goes, to…for the grant to be fulfilled, that’ll get us the attention we need. But if only I had listened, because then he went all the way up there. We did create this imaginary, fake campaign. We never said The Weeknd or Drake were appearing with Super Dave Osborne, which was fundamentally…defied all time-space reasoning. But we did say defying time-space reasoning…if it was possible, there could be an appearance. But since it’s not possible, it’s very unlikely, which people thought was reverse…was a double-reverse-triple. So, it got a lot of promotion.
Now, just like the last example…this is just…talk about the end of a sleep podcast build up. Super Dave gets up there. He’s like, getting ready to sing, and then of course it’s like, anybody in the CN Tower can't hear him. Anyone outside the CN Tower can't hear him. You can't hear anything 'cause he’s way up. Then Mike closes the door, and then no one…Dave’s like, okay, when I’m done singing, open the door, let me back in. Just tell me. ‘Cause it was kinda cold. So, then he was also not happy, 'cause by the time we figured out, oh, we gotta let Dave back in, he’s like, I’m cold. I’m cold now. But the good news is while we didn't eliminate highway profanity, we did highlight the importance of singing along and the highlight of making people laugh and pointless meanders and superfluous tangents. If you want to laugh, you can always check out some of the links we have in the show notes. Thanks for listening, and goodnight, everybody.
[End of recording]
Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes
