Episode 1487 – Great Gourdcast | Trending Tuesday
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, pumpkins, gourds, lanterns of Jack…in my old days I never had a lantern full of Jack, but glad I never did. Lanterns named Jack or any form of Jack…basically gourds everywhere, fans of gourds, or people like me who appreciate gourds, but I don't particularly…I don't go out of my way to…by the way, gourds, I don't consume gourds. I mean, it’s not…it’s more of like a taste thing, and just…I say, yeah, gourds…gourds; I like them. Well, I guess…is a zucchini a gourd? Could it be a gourd? What’s a dried-out zucchini or gourd? There’s a…I guess I am…is a pumpkin a gourd? Oh, no, sorry; I meant a watermelon. I hear watermelon referred to as a fruit, but zucchini, man, that could be on…it could be a gourd. Holy cow, if you're new here, you must be like, what did I turn into? Tune into, the Great Gourd Cast? Yeah, this is a Great…yeah, my name is Linus. This is the…my age…now…this is a reimagining of Linus, age fifty.
I’m here recording the Great Gourd Cast. As I got older I realized there was more to life than just pumpkins. There was more gourds to life than just pumpkins. So, I started the Great Gourd Cast. There we go; I guess I know what tonight’s episode will be about. It’s supposed to be a Trending Tuesday-style episode anyway. Welcome to Sleep With Me, the podcast that’s here to put you to sleep but not directly if you're new. I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep, which works a little bit different. It does take a couple tries to get used to, but I’m here to bring you some comfort and distraction in the deep, dark night, maybe some sleepy joy and delight, to be your bore-friend and hang out with you, because I know what it’s like. That’s why I call it the deep, dark night. I mean, imagine that night after…when Linus had to go to bed. I mean, thank goodness in this imaginary timeline he said, huh, maybe I’ll start a podcast about that years later.
Sorry, Mr. Shultz and Shultz Estates; this is only parody and satire just in case…or whatever. Fair use of my nonsense. But welcome to Sleep With Me. It’s a podcast to help you out, 'cause I’ve had trouble sleeping my whole life and a lot of other listeners have had. So, that’s why I want to help, because I know what it’s like there. So, if you're new, welcome. I hope you feel welcome, and here's the great news; even if this podcast doesn't help you out, maybe I’ll introduce you to something that will, because it does take a couple tries to get used to this show before you find out, oh hey, this is for me; I had no idea this was out there, or I might need something else. I got you covered. If you're coming back 'cause you're having a tough time, whether it’s the autumnal season or a different time of year and you're just listening to this episode or you're here on a regular basis, I hope I can be there for you tonight. If you are here on a regular basis, particularly if you fall asleep fast, you listen to more than one episode a night, you've listened longer than a year, you listen to four or five episodes a week, if you could please either check out one of these sponsors or consider supporting the show or spreading the word about the show…or, by the way, if you already support the show, thank you. That’s how we are able to be here for the people that listen on a regular basis and the majority of listeners who are just here when they need the show. Thanks.
Intro: Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be thoughts, thoughts on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, it could be feelings, any feelings related to those thoughts or feelings that are just there, feelings that are coming up at bedtime or in the middle of the night, physical sensations, thoughts and feelings about physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be going through something, you could be getting over something, you could be in the middle of something.
Whatever it is, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. Maybe you work a different schedule, maybe you need a break during the day, whatever it is. The only reason I run through some of that stuff is kinda what I referred to earlier; you're in good company here. You're welcome here. As much as you're comfortable with, we see you and what you're going through, and we want to let you in or send you kindness across the deep, dark night, send you sleepy joy and delight, comfort, relief, distraction, or maybe just knowing there’s other people out there across the world listening right now in this moment who really do feel for you and understand what you're going through. Some people have been through something very similar to whatever it is that brought you here, and some of us, maybe we can only relate to some of the underlying feelings. Maybe we can't relate at all.
But everyone wishes you a good night's sleep, the sleep that you came here searching for, I think. This only provides it in a indirect way. But you deserve the sleep you need so your life is more manageable tomorrow. You deserve the rest you need on a regular basis, and you deserve a bedtime that you don't have to dread and maybe you could look forward to or at least feel neutral about and say, well, I got that pod guy, and yeah, at least he’s here to help me out, or he’s gonna talk about gourds, the Great Gourd Cast. Don't worry, I won't…I'll try to avoid using any characters except if I need to in satire. But what a great return. The Great…when the Great Pumpkin never returned, I start…I, someone totally different from that person, started the Great Gourd Cast. It’s about…it’s kinda like Scriptnotes for gourd…things interesting to gourds…I mean, I don't know…I mean, of all the things that would be good listeners that don't have ears, gourds, I think…I'm just complimenting them, but I believe this is true; because of their hollowness…but they're not fully hollow.
Don't worry, this is not a judgment statement, gourds. You're probably good listeners, 'cause I feel like there’s some resonance. You have an ability to resonate or for me to just tap, tap, tap on you and say, well, at least I got this gourd…my best friend’s a gourd. Somewhere in the world…has that been said before? I don't know. Maybe…somebody’s gonna say it’s gonna be…yeah. Who’s your…? My best friend, it’s a gourd. By the way, zucchinis are not…zucchinis and watermelon are not gourds, sir. Is it…? I thought this was Gourd Fest. No, this is Gordo Fest. It’s totally different. Is it for fans of Gordo from For All Humankind? Well, sir, no, but you could…well, this…yeah, I’m gonna start a fest. It’s gonna be Gordo…it’s gonna be Gourd and Gordo Fest. I’m only on the second or third episode of Season 2, so I say that with…I'm hedging my bets, Gordo. But yeah, for fans of gourds…you could go either way, or other Gordos. There’s plenty of other Gordos out there. Should we add…?
I don't think we…I think that would be too…it would be…you can't triple…this is a triple-niche conference. It’s fans of gourds, any Gordos at all, and Greedo, but Greedo doesn't rhyme as well. But gourds, gourds, and…Greedo, gourds, and…Greedo, Gordo, and gourds. Well, there’s not a lot of Greedo fans. Oh, really? You kidding me. Nobody…okay, well…okay, well, moving on, then. What was I talking about? Oh, that this show…that you deserve a good night's sleep. I’m sorry. Got distracted by my own meanders. Yeah, that’s what I’m here to provide, and the other thing is that there’s listeners right now sending you comfort and kindness. You could receive it or you could just passively listen to the show. You could even try to — this is not a joke — cultivate your inner gourd, like some…'cause something about that hollowness of a gourd is nice, and sometimes feeling a faint echo…like, if I could be in a gourd, which I know is not technically…I mean, even if it was…while it was a full-functioning gourd, FFG…so, not a human-modified gourd…HMG, you know?
FFGs…if I could somehow…if there was a gourd big enough and I could be in that…I’d love to record in a gourd. I’ll have to listen to this intro just 'cause this makes it easy. So anyway, setting the gourds aside ‘til later…don't worry, Gordo. I mean, I guess I can't make any more Gordo-based comments. Okay, so, where was I? Oh, you deserve a good night's sleep. But when most people get…oh, the way the show works…did I say that? I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. So, I go off topic, I get mixed up, then I forget what I was talking about, then I repeat my…I mean, you've seen it all already. But yeah, my voice is not traditionally soothing. The whole idea of the show is I’m here for you like a friend in the deep, dark night, and it does take some getting used to. For most people, they never like this show. Would you believe that?
Because it doesn't help them sleep and…or it doesn't offer them comfort, relief, or sleepy joy and delight. So, alls I could tell you is see how it goes. It takes…it took most regular listeners who support the show…and including people that supported the show for like ten years, it took them two or three tries, sometimes over a period of years, before the show clicked for them. Click is more like tapping on a gourd, because the first time they listened, they said, I thought this was a sleep…this is a popular sleep podcast? I don't know about this. Then they said, well, I’ll check it out one more time. Then on the second time, which sometimes, yeah, was separated by a period of time, they said, huh, wait a second, he is always going nowhere. This episode is different than the one before it, but it’s similar in spirit. Yeah, he’s always never getting started. Then on the third try, maybe they woke up the next day and they said, yeah, I feel like watching that Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown. Honey, it’s March.
Yeah, but I was listening to a episode of Sleep With Me from October of 2026 and, I don't know, just something in me said let’s watch it, okay? Sounds great, honey. You slept great, huh? Oh, yeah. I don't even remember anything about that podcast other than the vague sense of wanting to watch that special. Okay, well, I’m glad. So, that’s what happens on the third try, fourth try, second try, some people the first try. But alls I can say is give it a few tries. See how it goes. I have a website set up, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, that has other sleepy stuff on there and sleep podcasts. So, maybe I could connect you with something that does help, because you still deserve a good night's sleep. If this is your first try listening and you're like, no, I’m never gonna listen to this show again, check out that website right now. You don't have to like me or the show. Sometimes it’s just clearly not a fit, and that’s why I have that website set up, so easy access. Like, you don't have to let me know.
I’ve been doing the show a long time. Fortunately I’ve heard it all, and sometimes some people are very repetitive with their messaging about it, but…so, I just put that website up so it’s easier for you. You could just go there — there’s a list of sleep podcasts and other sleepy audio — and keep trying stuff ‘til you find something that works or it guides you to a place where you find something that helps. But first, if you're in a place where you're willing, give the show a few tries. See how it goes. This is also a podcast that you don't exactly listen to, but you don't…it’s not totally background noise. It’s kinda like a TV on in the other room that’s…you can hear it faintly through the walls, whether somebody else is watching, it’s comforting instead of…I don't know, it’s like that mumble, but you can kinda hear what’s going on, and you sense a presence. I think that’s one of the important things, a presence that may bring a gourd-based presence. GBPs.
Oh yeah, I may call them…well, yeah, I pack my presence in gourds. That’s why they're so damp and they smell faintly of pumpkin or other gourds, and they're also gourds. Gourd within a gourd. I don't know if this will get old. I mean, believe me, I’ll forget about it. I’m not gonna record the episode of this for a couple days. Like, today’s a Thursday, and I won't be in a place where I could record it until Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday. Like, what was I talking about with that gourd show? But anyway…oh, this is a show like sand passing through your hands, a out-of-focus picture, a show streaming under your pillow or something you repurpose like some program or audiobook or podcast. You say, well, I like it, but I don't actually pay attention to it, like clouds in the sky, wind passing through the trees. It’s something that’s nice but doesn't grab your attention or hook it, and it’s outside of yourself.
It’s there but it’s just in the right place, like a professor or a seminar, a presentation, or a friend you just can't quite stay awake for, but you like it. We’ve done it with roommates or partners or friends or at sleepovers or camping. You say, hey, just talk to me. A friend will say, oh, okay, you just need some comfort? Yeah, I’ll talk to you about my love of peanuts. Peanuts? No, no, peanut characters. Okay, thank you. Yeah, I’ll just be here for you. So, it’s a podcast you don't really need to listen to. It’s like nice water passing through your toes. If that doesn't make sense at first, it may…it only makes indirect sense. The other thing about the show is that it’s a sleep podcast I’ve been making since 2000…2013, 2013 or 20…2013. 213. No, 213 would be a different year 'cause there’s a zero in there. 2013, I guess. They say, what year is that? Eh, that guy, a sleep podcast guy…but this is a sleep podcast where there’s no pressure to fall asleep. I’m not here to put you to sleep.
I’m here to take your mind off of stuff, to distract you from whatever is keeping you awake, again, to offer comfort, relief, the ability to let your shoulders down or relax, and hang out with somebody or have somebody hang out there for you at your bedside, across the room, across the house, whatever you're comfortable with, or right there for you. There’s no pressure to fall asleep. That’s why the episodes are over an hour, so you don't…in twenty minutes you don't have to be like, what’s going on? I gotta be asleep in five more minutes? No, I’ll be here. There’s over 600 shows in the listener, ad-supported, free version, free to listen to or make…listen to what works for you. Versions of this show come out five different nights a week; three episodes of Sleep With Me, two brand-new ones, normally, and then one from our…deep from our archives, two story-only versions, and another version of the show.
So, as much as you need it, I’m here, but not to put you to sleep; to be there for you, to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your neighbore, your Borebra Borestrand, your chairman of the boreds, your Big Borebowski, your boreman, your Boris Borelaf, your best bore-friend f’eva, 'cause there’s people listening who can't sleep at all or who need a break during the day, and I’m here to the very end for them and for you. So, see how it goes. Having a bore-friend is something that takes some getting used to, and it’s something you can…if it works for you, then you can rely on it, 'cause that’s what…most listeners just rely on the show when they need it, and then super listeners…I'm kinda here whenever you need me. So, see how it goes, but it takes some getting used to. The last thing I like to run through is the structure of the show for new listeners, 'cause the structure of the show does throw people off.
Some people never come back, but I always run through it because I want to meet you where you are, and again, reassure you but give you a basic understanding of why we do what we do here, because it is so different. So, being skeptical, doubtful, or even irritated about it, that makes…it’s totally normal. I’m not here to tell you how to feel about the show. So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in. You say, oh, okay, I could check this show out. Then there’s support, whether it’s asking for sponsor support or listener support, so that anybody can discover the podcast and over 600 episodes and see what works for them, or they…most people just prefer to listen to something for free so that it’s there whenever they need it. Then after the support, totally separate from the support, is a show within a show, which we're already I think probably twenty minutes into, the intro of the podcast, which, yes, should take two or three minutes but ends up taking me somewhere between fifteen and thirty minutes.
That’s for two reasons; one is because every intro follows a familiar structure where I try to…I have certain things I say every time and then I go off topic and then I come back, and then I say, okay, let me tell you about…that it’s okay not to like the show. Let me tell you it’s okay not to listen. Let me tell you it’s okay not to fall asleep, and let me tell you about the structure of the show. Let me tell you how glad I am to have you here. But yeah, every intro I go off on a different thing so that you always have something new, something reassuring, something familiar, but variety, and that’s just what I’ve discovered through making the show. But even in my personal preferences, repetition never worked for me. Whatever keeps me awake, my thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations, they fixate on that and they say, well, there’s…the bird’s gonna squawk again. The rain’s gonna start, then there’s gonna be this one kind…I tried it all. So, that’s why every intro is new.
But also, the intro is not meant to put you to sleep. If you fall asleep fast, either consider supporting the show or try out…if this version works for you, great, or try out Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me. But the intro is meant to be a buffer between wake and sleep, to ease you into bedtime. So, a lot of people are listening while they're getting ready for bed or winding down, in bed getting comfortable, or in another room doing some sort of chill activity, like an actual wind-down activity as simple as petting your pets, staring out the window, lying on the floor, doodling. For me, even for…briefly foam-rolling. It doesn't have anything to do with sleep. It has to do with winding down. It’s also like a sleepover. We're gig…I mean, maybe you aren't giggling about gourds, but here we are live, giggling about gourds. Oh, no one’s giggling, Brad. Oh, bummer. But I was giggling on the inside about gourds. I would like to be giggling in…I mean, think about it; if I was in a bathing suit in a gourd, I might…and I was feeling ticklish, it might be tickly in the gourd.
Tickled by a Gourd, Sleep With Me After…or Chuck Tingles’ version of Sleep With Me After Dark. Anyway, so, where was I? Oh, so, that’s the intro. It goes on and on and on. There is a version of the show called Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me where it’s shows without intros, just the stories, if you find you develop a preference for that. But yeah, the intro’s like this hang-out time where everybody starts to relax together as a community and then you fall asleep later as I distract you. ‘Cause again, there’s no pressure to fall asleep. But that’s why the intro goes on and on and on, and there’s a easy way to skip it; Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me. After the intro will be one last round of support so that, again, paying for the show is optional. Then we’ll have something. I don't know, it’ll be a Trending Tuesday-style episode with some randomness, something about the Great Gourd Cast, and that should be fun and interesting. This is a popular style of show.
But we put out tons of varieties of shows on a regular basis so whatever it is that works for you will be there, because I want to be there for you. That’s what the show is all about, and that’s why I’ll be here over an hour, night after night, year after year, 'cause this is like our anniversary month of making the show. I love making this show, again, 'cause I know what it’s like and I want to offer any relief I can if I can, even if you never listen to the show again but you just feel validated, that not sleeping is a lot tougher than most people understand, and it’s not as simple as closing your eyes and just shutting off or whatever. That’s fine that that’s the way it works for other people. But that’s what I want you to know. So, I am so glad you're here whether you're brand new — see how it goes — you're here when you need it — I’m happy to help — or you're a regular listener and you're here night after night, year after year. I’m glad you're here. I really hope I can help.
If you support the show, thank you so much, and if you are a super listener, please consider spreading the word about the show, surprised by Scoots, supporting a sponsor, checking out a sponsor, or support the show directly. You'd be surprised at how great it is. But thank you so much. I yearn and strive — so does everybody else that works on the show — to help you fall asleep. So, thanks again for coming by. If you are one of the super listeners, here's the ways you could help.
Well, hello, everyone. Welcome to the Great Gourd Cast. My…I'm here with Scooter and we're doing the Great Gourd Cast. It has nothing to do with the Great Pumpkin other than the Great Pumpkin was a gourd. We want to give you some advice for this autumnal season if you believe in gourds, if you believe in the magic of gourds. In your youth you may have heard of the Great Pumpkin, but, you know, that you learned through life that there’s more than just the Great Pumpkin out there. You said to yourself, Scooter, if you were sitting in a pumpkin patch but you had internet connection and you were gonna make a sleep podcast…this is what I went to Scooter with; imagine there is a pumpkin patch out there, and there is a boy and a girl, and they're friends, maybe even people that…probably realistically there are people celebrating the pumpkin season, the Great Pumpkin season right now out there, somewhere out there. Maybe even Fievel in some realm is resting in a pumpkin patch.
But you say, you know what? I’ve always wondered…I want to integrate my belief in the Great Pumpkin and…there’s more than one…there’s a lot of great gourds out there. I’m wondering, Scooter, what you would do to make a sleep podcast given that information. He said, oh boy, I can help you, because I know there’s a great list on Wikipedia of gourds and squashes. So, he said, what if we start…should we start at the beginning or the end? It is quite a long list. Maybe we start with the ones that have pictures, he said to me just now. Then…'cause he said, well, okay, so, let’s just say there’s…just…there’s a Great Gourd Patch, a time…somewhere out there, as you said, there’s a Great Gourd Patch. Maybe there’s more than great…one Great Gourd Patch. Of course there’s the Great Gourd Patch within all of us. Some people, when they want to make contact with the Great Gourd Patch, they do it on the inside, in quiet. Some people do it outside in the world.
Some people like to do it symbolically, much like the day after October 31 or other seasonal events where you set something up and then you put something…you know, even for your family members…maybe they have gourds. Maybe your grandma, when…in this realm had a favorite gourd, and especially if you're one of those children out there…oh…or maybe an adult wishing you could be out there with the tricking and the treating…oh boy. Now, what do you bring home from that trick-or-treating? Oh, of course Scooter said, you know who needs to benefit from this is not just the great gourd within us or without us or all those great gourds, the people that have come before us that loved gourds, the people that don't know about gourds, the people like me that tap, tap on gourds…giant corporations also need to benefit from this. Scooter said…you know, Michael Eisner once said to the song that Scooter said he doesn't…it’s one of the songs that plays at a wedding.
Oh, Electric Slide. Let’s make it synergistic. So, he said, we’ll take what you collect while you're out trick-or-treating. Now, lets just say you brought it to a Great Gourd Patch, or with each thing you want to consume, you want to think of a gourd. Now, Scooter said…he wants me to say we're here live from the Great Gourd Patch. This is the Gourd Cast on WKGORD, WKGORD. Would you, could you in a patch? KGORD…I think KGORD’s better. Okay, he said go for it. We're here on KGORD Radio, the Great Gourd Cast. We're not allowed to play songs, but if we did, the first song coming at you is cushaw, cushaw squash. Cushaw squash is coming at you, and it could be kershaw, silver-seed gourd. It’s a species in North and Central America. Originated from Mexico. It’s an annual, and oh boy, is it…it’s got stripes, kind of. It’s a little bit greenish, it’s a little bit greyish, it’s a little bit off-white. Flowers could be yellow or orange…July to August. It’s got quite the history, and it’s one lovely gourd.
It’s got a lot…it’s angiosperm, maybe, an uticot, you know. Who said you're an uticot? I may have said it. You're from the…not…cucurbitalis…batalis. That’s the order, your family; cu-something and cucurbita. So, yeah, that’s the…what do we call it? I forgot. Cushaw. What a nice thing to say, cushaw. Now Scooter, what are we gonna match cushaw up with? He’s got a list. He’s got a list of people ranking things you collect on Halloween and the most popular treats according to a 2021 survey from YouGov. Oh, this is adults versus children, Scooter. So, Scooter said, let’s go with it. This is one he likes. What do you call it, Scooter? You call it a Whatchamacallit bar. So, if you're gonna leave something for the gourd I just mentioned, cushaw, leave it a Whatchama…you say, what's the name of that…whatchamacall that gourd? Cushaw. Like, maybe Clayton Kershaw was…may have been a pitcher on the Giants at some point. It’s a silver-seed gourd. Leave it a Whatchamacallit, please. Next up.
Now, you see these…you see the leaf of this squash, and even…now, Scooter had a job where he would have had to know what this leaf looks like, but don't be confused because this is not a fig. It’s a fig leaf squash. Don't mix me up with a melon until I know the difference between a squash, a gourd, and a melon. Are you talking gourds to me? I am talking gourds to you. This also has a lot of other names, but ficifolia, maybe, fig leaf squash. It could be called a pumpkin, a squash, a citron, chaiote, fig leaf gourd, fig leaf gourd, fig leaved gourd, a Malabar gourd, a pie melon, and many others. It is a gourd, though. Needs a temperate climate. It maybe started in Mexico. We don't know where its domestication began. Could be as far south as Argentina. It likes temperate highlands, elevations up to 6,600 feet. That’s 2,000 meters. You could use it as a summer squash or maybe a winter squash. It can be used in Spain to make a jam known as the cabello de angel, angel’s hair.
Maybe even in…can be used in pies, sweets, and confectioneries. It has protein-rich seeds. So, there’s the fig leaf squash. Back to…here on KGORD, K-G-O-R-D, KGORD. Okay, Scooter, what do we have next on your multiple lists? He’s thinking, folks, 'cause he says, well, I don't think a fig leaf…fig leaf…he’s looking through his lists. He’s trying to find something fig-like, and he’s…what about fruit snacks, he says? What about fruit snacks? Scooter, does that count? Gummy bears? No, he said. Fruit snacks are like gummy bears, slightly harder. They still have some give to them, usually have some fruit inside or fruit juice. Scooter said he would call them the lesser gummy just because they’re not quite as good…so, that’s the fig leaf gourd, fig leaf squash. Oh, I forgot to describe it. Its leaves are like giant fig leaves. So, by the way, if you're without clothing, stop by the fig leaf squash and make yourself an outfit right out of that. You say, okay. Now we're talking. Practical. It’s a gourd I can wear? Well, yeah.
I mean, you could definitely wear the gourd or the leaves. It does look like a melon, and it kinda looks…it looks like…almost like…what's that stuff called? Stucco with…green stucco melon, maybe, was what I’d call it. That is the fig leaf squash here on KGORD. Next up we have the…Scooter, that didn't come up. Oh, the giant pumpkin. That’s not to be confused with the Great Pumpkin or the Great Pumpkin in general. This is a squash known for its prodigious size. Can weigh 150 — that’s 68 kilograms — up to 2,010 pounds. That’s 910 kilograms. Growing great pumpkins dates back to the 1800s. World records were kept at the 1893 Chicago World’s Fair. Then there’s been a revival since the seventies. In 2025 the largest was 2,819.3 pounds. That’s 1,278.8 kilograms. Now, the reality is they're grown more for their novelty than their utility. They're not particularly tasty, though you can use them for launching, entertainment. I don't think I would recommend juggling one. Make them into boats.
So, Scooter, what do you think about the giant pumpkin, also known as the Atlantic Giant? That was what I clicked on. That’s why I was confused. The Atlantic Giant. So, Scooter said, a lot of flash, not a lot of taste. I mean, Scooter said even though it’s not on his list, he would say Fruit Stripe gum, which it’s been a while since he’s gone on a tangent on his podcast about Fruit Stripe gum, because it may not exist anymore. Let’s just look that up. Fruit Stripe gum was…stopped being made in 2024. I think it made a comeback and then it went away again. It was a gum…sugared gum, and the reason…Scooter loved it. It was a tasty gum, but the taste went away very, very fast. The only thing…Scooter said, maybe Juicy Fruit lasts less than Fruit Stripe, but probably not. Also, these…this is a parody. Nothing we say is accurate or true. But Fruit Stripe gum was a gum, a striped gum. It came in different flavors; cherry, lemon, orange, peach, melon sometimes, grape, mixed fruit. They had different mascots.
But the reality was you would chew it…you'd need to chew a lot of it, because you'd chew it for about two minutes and then it’d be gone. So, much like…we have nothing…I mean, we're not saying anything bad about the Atlantic Giant other than the fact that it’s very big but it doesn't taste great. But Fruit Stripe gum tastes great. Not a lot of long-lasting flavor. That’s…we're here on the Gourd Cast. We're talking gourds. What else? Okay, this is an easy…Scooter, I’m gonna give you a easy one now after that Fruit Stripe. This one, I think it’s gonna be easy. It should be easy. I think we’ll…will we learn a fun fact about you, Scooter? Probably we will. Next up…oh, what…? Oh, the Atlantic Giant looks like a giant pumpkin. I don't think I need to describe that. Next up is the maxima, cucurbita maxima, the…which…of which the butter…we're talking about the buttercup squash. This is about five different species. It’s one of the most diverse domesticated species.
Originated in South America from a wild subspecies over 4,000 years ago, according to Wikipedia. There’s a lot of modern varieties. I don't want to mix in any of those in case we go to any of them. Then their subspecies, cultivars, of which we're talking about the buttercup squash, shaped a bit like something you might wear on your head. It’s got a flat top, dark-green skin, three to five pounds, and a dense yellow…this is not a buttercup squash, by the way, butter…or butternut squash. This is…oh no, it is not…it is the buttercup squash. It’s not the butternut squash. It is the buttercup squash. Scooter, when was the last time you used a buttercup on…? He just shook his head. You don't want to know if anybody’s…? Is she thinking of you? Probably. Check again later. He said, who? So, the buttercup squash; quite interesting-looking, the one we're looking at. It’s greenish, it’s got speckles and lines, it’s got some orange, it’s got some stuff that kinda grows on gourds.
That’s another thing we love, stuff that grows on gourds. Here on KGORD, we love things that grow on gourds. So, Scooter, can I…? Okay, so when…now, this isn't always the case because…I mean, at the time of this release, Scooter will have lived in a soft-serve city for about a year. At this point you're…that we're recording this, it’s a bit under a year, but…or quite a bit under a year. What do you got? What is a year? July, August…four months away from when this episode may or may not come out. But so, before moving to a soft-serve city…now, what do I mean by a soft-serve city? Well, those of you that live in vacation regions or temperate regions, I don't know, you have access to soft-serve and hard-serve ice cream, and frozen yogurt or…those things are different. In the Bay Area of California, while you can obtain soft-serve, it is not an everyday…not every place has it. The majority of ice cream places serve hard-serve ice cream.
So, a city where the majority of ice cream places serve soft-serve and/or hard-serve, that’s what we mean by a soft-serve city. Now, also, by the way, if you only serve one flavor like a restaurant, vanilla only, that doesn't quantify. That’s offering soft-serve…but you need to at least offer chocolate, vanilla, and chocolate-vanilla twist or swirl, ideally more. But even…so, even at a restaurant, one…any of the restaurants that have vanilla, they all serve…I think it’s a trade…it’s multiple trademark names, but where you could have something that you would obtain while you were out trick-or-treating, and you would put it in there and you would blend the candy into the thing. A Blizzard is one of them, or a mixer, I think. So, Scooter likes what we would say is the buttercup squash candy. So, if you decide, you know what? My nana, she would have loved the buttercup squash, so I’m gonna leave her this candy, which…so, the fun fact is that Scooter doesn't…would not eat this candy by itself. He has no interest.
He said, eh, I mean…but not really. It’s like a Clarks Bar, he said, but he would choose a Clarks Bar. But even a Clarks Bar…he could only have a snack size or fun size. But even a snack size or a fun size of this, he wouldn't really be super interested in it. It’s called…it’s a…what's it called, Scooter? We both forgot the name. Butterfinger. It’s a Butterfinger. He likes his Butterfinger, but he will order other flavors, but that’s the one he really likes, is the Butterfinger Blast or whatever you want to call it. So, in honor of the buttercup squash, we're gonna…you're gonna want to look out and put your Butter…or when you have a Butterfinger, think of the butternut squash and all the joy it’s brought the world here on the Gourd Cast, part of KBOR…no, KBOR Radio is another station Scooter’s a part of. KGORD, where the gourd…we put the gourd…we put the music in the gourd, and that’s why you can't hear any music playing, 'cause it’s in a gourd. KGORD Radio. Okay, next up. Oh, this is a nice-looking one.
Scooter said to describe it first. Okay, so, it’s green, but there is a hybrid sunshine version of it. It is dark, dark green, pine green or deep-forest green if you were looking at a Crayon, with a couple lighter-green stripes. Very pumpkin-looking. The sunshine…it’s very pumpkin-shaped but it’s green. I’d call it the…I mean, if you put…why don't we get these, Scooter, and make them christma lanterns or something? Santa lanterns. Scooter just said, that’s a great idea if we had access to these. It is…Scooter, by the way, it’s a winter squash. Okay, somebody get on this. Talk about synergy. We could commercialize a whole new…we have a whole new market for squashes. This is the kabocha, kabocha. K-A-B-O-C-H…just in case anybody’s…C-H-A. Kabocha. As in kabocha squash? Yes. K-A-B-O-C-H-A. Kabocha, or kabocha. I was look…I was getting my kabocha squash to do my Santa lantern. It’s a beautiful squash, also known as the Japanese pumpkin.
Now, in Japan, though, kabocha could refer to this squash or a Western pumpkin or other squashes. In Australia this is the synonym of the Kent pumpkin. It’s hard on the outside, knobby-looking skin, often dark green, but it could be red, orange, or gray. It’s shaped like a squat pumpkin. On the inside it’s an intense yellow-orange color. I think Santa would like that, Scooter. It’s kinda like his suit, almost. In many respects it is similar to the buttercup squash, which we’ve just covered, but it doesn't have a protruding cup on the bottom, which is why it must have been why we didn't get into that one, 'cause we had to talk about your Butterfinger thing. But yeah…oh, by the way, I’m the DJ on KGORD Radio, Lionel. I’m Lionel Cusack. Just say that. Not Linus; definitely not Linus. While I may be in a pumpkin patch and I may believe in the Great Pumpkin, I’m just talking gourds.
It has a sweet flavor, exceptionally sweet, sweeter than the…by the way, it’s interesting; Scooter’s on KGORD; he doesn't eat gourds. Scooter does not eat gourds or squashes. It’s just not his thing, or sweet potatoes. Well, he said it makes…some places have good sweet potato fries. He doesn't like the sweetness. He takes his root vegetables…well, I don't even know if a gourd’s a root vegetable, Scooter. So, he would rather they are tasteless or more savory. You could peel it to speed up the thing. It’s available all year long, but is best in late summer or early fall. So, by the way, if you got a kaboucha farm…kombucha is something…a drink. This is kaboucha, totally different. It’s gonna be…this…it put the gourd…when we celebrate the holiday at KGORD, we're gonna…I mean, since Scooter’s in charge of the station, we’ll probably forget. But we’d like to get our hands on a kaboucha. So far we’ve had some great mouthfuls; kaboucha, kashaw. Holy cow, nice to meet you.
Next up…oh, Scooter just let me know we didn't match a candy to that. Thanks, Scooter. That’s why you're in charge, eh? Okay, so, something…okay, he’s saying…huh, this is a good one, though. Okay, he said this is low on the popularity list, but adults…it’s higher on the popularity list; Andes Candies or Andes chocolate mints. He said, that may be good, 'cause it has green in it. That’s another thing Scooter’s…on his to-do list, but he likes going to people’s houses that have them. It’s pretty cool. But…oh, they're better off…you're just better off eating one or two at a time versus…they're not quite the thing you want to eat a lot of. So, that’s Andes Candies here on KBOR Radio with the kaboucha. Not kombucha. Now, this one is bright, and talk about seasonal colors. Scooter, holy cow. I agree with him. Scooter said, I’d like to see a pile of those. We also should find out the sizes. This is the red kuri squash. That’s K-U-R-I, red kuri squash. Kuri, maybe? Catanya.
It’s a thin-skinned…Scooter, you may have something in common with this squash. It’s from the maxima family and it’s a winter squash. Thin-skinned, orange colored, looks like a small pumpkin but without the ridges. It’s from the Hubbard squash group. Scooter, that sounds like…if you started a consulting agency, could you be the Hubbard Squash Group? Hello, I’m from Hubbard Squash. How can I help you? I mean, I did not know, even though I’ve been hosting…I just…that there was so many…such a great wide world of gourds. I mean, that’s why we're here at KGORD Radio, and that’s why we're trying to try this out. It’s firm on the inside with a very delicate and mellow chestnut-like flavor. There’s also subspecies; Hokkaido, Red Hokkaido, and sweety sweet. These…oh, this is…it’s generally considered…all squash originated in Mesoamerica, but they may have been cultivated…northern or southern.
This could be also called a orange Hokkaido squash, baby red Hubbard. In France, a potimarron. Scooter, have you been called a potimarron before? Sorry. I was just…what else do we need to know? It’s hardy, drought-tolerant…full sun, and it’s a teardrop-shaped fruit. It looks like a pumpkin but it’s…also looks a little bit like a pomegranate. It kinda looks like an autumn…even though pomegranates are kinda…an orange pomegranate or an orange. Scooter, you agree, right? Yeah, this is one gorgeous squash. Oh, why, yes, I am talking to you, red kuri, K-U-R-I. Kuri, kuri. I just want to make sure you don't think I’m saying C-U-R-R-Y. Alright, let’s go to the list. Scooter said, is…this one’s…oh no, he said, huh, wait a second. He was gonna go with something else, but now he’s saying Ring Pops, particularly…ideally cherry, but any Ring Pop. Similar in shape, popping colors. He said, if you've collected any Ring Pops, please stop at your great…the Great Gourd Patch by your house.
Leave some red Ring Pops or other ones for the red kuri. Scooter, are we gonna get to the top-ten most popular things? He said, let me look at the list. Okay. One, two…that’s three. Okay, he’s not believing that. Butterfinger, number nine, Scooter. He said we could skip…okay, we’ll see. Okay, he’s got number eight in mind. What do we have coming up next here on KGORD? The turban squash. What a gorgeous…Scooter, this one is a nice-looking squash, too. Very…wow. This one is like sculptures. Mother nature is a sculpture. Holy moly. Do yourself a favor; see if you could find yourself a variety of photos of these. The one I’m looking at, it looks like something Salvador Dali or somebody could have made. It is…looks like a off-white pumpkin on the base with some paint dripping on it, and then a melted sunset-color pumpkin put on the top like a turban. What a gorgeous one. Man. Now, this may be from a red variety of them. It is closely related to the butternut squash.
It’s from the maxima family. It’s six pounds when mature. Often mottled. Scooter, should we look that word up? You don't know what that means, right? M-O-T-T-L-E-D. Yeah, let’s look it up. We don't exactly know. Smears of color. Okay, interesting. Yeah, it’s definitely got smears of color. Now, how are we gonna…I mean, what candy can you even…? Oh, he knows. Well…oh yeah, you're right. Okay, but let’s talk a little bit more about this. There’s not too much more. There’s only two varieties, a tri-color variety, red, white, and green, and then a smaller one with a red cap and a white…well, this is white on the bottom, sometimes with red stripes. This is one beautiful gourd. I mean, you say that all kinds of gourds could be beautiful, but this is different. We’ve had back-to-back two totally different-looking gourds that are…gorgeous gourds here on the Gourd Cast. So, what were you thinking?
Okay, so, Scooter said there’s a couple versions of this, but he said…now, he prefers Nerds Clusters, but there’s also Nerds and Nerds Ropes, from Willy…formerly, I think, from the Willy Wonka candy factory. I think that’s a good one, Scoots. Any Nerds candy will do in this case. So, go ahead, kids. Here's a little thing; maybe you could suck on some of the Nerds and then think…stick your tongue out at the…and let it know that…'cause your tongue might look like…huh, probably not. It won't look like a gourd. But there we are. I think we're get…that’s not in the top ten, either. Butternut squash, Scooter. That’s…we gotta talk about it. It came up. Is this is our first mainstream one? I guess so. It’s butternut. It’s also known as a butternut pumpkin or gramma. Sweet, nutty taste. It’s…most people know what it looks like. Very mainstream. Could look like a bowling pin or something else. Yeah. So, it’s a butternut squash. 88% water, 11% carbohydrates, 1% protein. Interesting. Scooter, what…?
Okay, it’s the most mainstream. He said go…that’s an easy one. ‘Cause he said, I can't believe this is on the top ten list, but it is. It’s…or is it? Oh, Snickers. Snickers is pretty popular. Not Scooter’s cup of tea. But yeah, if you have Snickers, you like Snickers, that’s great. If not, it’s got nuts in it, butternut squash…both very popular and mainstream. Muscat de province. Now, this doesn't have any information on it, but it is another green gourd. We're seeing it in the ground. It does have the sides…it does have maybe a little orange to it. Very French in its name, at least. So, what do you think, Scooter? Very French, he said. Well…huh. He says Sour Patch Kids because…he said it’s green and he said, I don't know, it reminds me of something with a tang to it. So, drop your Sour Patch Kids for muscat de province, some sort of gourd. It’s a green gourd. It looks like a pretty…it’s pretty thick on the outside. A bit of a zucchini…you'd say it’s in the zucchini range, like a dark-green zucchini.
Not exactly, but…it looks nothing like a zucchini, Scooter. It doesn't look anything like a zucchini. Yes, you're right, Scooter. But it…coloration reminds me of zucchini, and we can agree on that, yes. So, leave your Sour Patch…by the way, any of these gourds could be bringing you…some of these gourds may be like some of the holiday friends that are not Santa. So, in that case, our friends of the snickels of bells or the gram of…cramming…Krampus, the Krampus, or any of those others. There’s other ones that Scooter’s done in his podcast before. You want to keep them happy, and that’s why you bring candy to the great…you could just give it right to me, too, broadcasting here from the Great Gourd Cast. You could just leave it on my table here. ‘Cause I broadcast through the autumnal season or until this episode comes to a close here on KGORD Radio. Next up we have calaboza. Calabasas? You say, holy…are you talking Kardashian to me? Calabaza, calabasas. Calabasas, calabosh, California.
Calaboza is a generic name in the Spanish language for any type of winter squash. So, that got us nowhere. Oh, not to be confused with calabasas. But this could be considered…a squash typically grown tropical America and the Philippines. Moschata. What do we know about it? Well, it’s from…yeah, we don't know much about it. It’s…sorry about that, Scooter. That didn't take us anywhere, so we’ll just skip that one. Next up. Holy cow, Connecticut field pumpkin. This one, you know what it…it looks like a pumpkin, idealized. It’s first from the 16th century, one of the oldest pumpkin in existence. It’s an heirloom plant, one of the most popular for Halloween. So, great for making jack-o-lanterns. It’s a cucurbita pepo, P-E-P-O, from that group of gourds. Is it an ornamental gourd? We don't know. Similar to winter squash. Very mainstream. So, Scooter said, give it the number one…Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. So, leave…put those right in your jack-o-lantern.
Don't eat them…but only the jack-o-lanterns here at the Great Gourd Patch for KBOR Radio. Okay, next up is the delicata? How do you say that, Scooter? Delicata squash? Green stripes kinda like…shaped like a elongated football, American football, or a shrunken-down elongated watermelon. It’s a cylindrical fruit. Cream colored, striped in green or orange. It’s delicate. Also known as a peanut squash, Bohemian squash, sweet potato squash. Thin, inedible on the outside, and can be cut into half rounds and roasted — oh, it’s also from that pepo family; summer squash, pattypan squash. Maybe we’ll do that one next, Scooter — and easily grown. So, that’s good to know. It’s a nice-looking squash. I mean, I’d…I don't know if Scooter would wear a shirt that looks like that, but…I don't know if that’s his color, but it might be somebody’s color. So, delicata squash, Scooter. We're going off the top-ten list. He’s not sure if anything from the top-ten list fits. So, he’s going pixie sticks. That’s elongated.
It’s got stripes. Pixie sticks have stripes…and delicate. Pixie sticks are delicate. They're easily transportable, but don't get them wet. They could be broken if they're in your pocket, so…okay, pixie sticks for the delicata squash. Let’s do it. If you got it, bring it. Okay, next up is the gem squash, and it’s a summer squash. It’s very, very round. Not a lot of whatever those ridges are called. There’s a texana and the fraterna. Texana is from Southern-Central US, and the fraterna is from Mexico, also known…very similar to the tatume squash or the calibacita squash. Those are…that’s a climbing squash. This is dark-green spherical fruit, Scooter. Is that the favorite thing…? Spherical fruit. It’s about the size of a tennis ball. So, there you go. If you're a juggler, get yourself a gem squash or a few of them. Or, could we get…could we get somebody to juggle down here at the Great Gourd Patch, or at least maybe a band to sing about the Great Gourd Patch in the sky?
It’s widely grown in South Africa, commonly served as a vegetable. It could be boiled or baked. It’s the gem squash. It’s a gem. We're waiting on Scooter. He says like…as far as gems go, he says Skittles. They're a gem. Easy to forget about. He thinks they're best in small packs, anyway. Yeah, he says they're spherical. They're not…they're almost spherical, just like I guess the gourd. So, that’s the gem squash. Thank you, everybody. Pattypan squash. Next up, pattypan. That’s not Peppermint Patty, by the way. We don't know who she is. The pattypan squash, it’s not spherical, but I want to keep saying spherical. Pattypan squash is a summer squash notable for its round, shallow shape. Scalloped edges…it looks like a flying saucer a bit. The original people in North America and Eastern North America 8,000 to 10,000 years ago were cultivating this pattypan squash. It’s a pan…it divides its name from pan for baking a patty, 'cause it looks like a scalloped baking pan, from the French name patisson.
Cakes…cake made in a scallop mould. Oh, it could be different…there’s different colors. We see a cream-colored one, light green or white, yellow, golden bush pattypan squash. Pattypan, pattypan. That sounds like…Scooter, you'd like…that could be a game. We could play…could we play that in the Great Gourd Patch? He said, yeah. It’d be like where people hide in the gourds and they say, pattypan, pattypan, let down your gourd. As long as you leave candy, right, Scooter? Okay, and which candy are we going with pattypan? Scooter is saying M&Ms, but he said…he goes, these are…would be better suited for the plain M&Ms. He likes peanut M&Ms. He hasn't seen anything…but he said, that’s…pattypan’s shaped like an M&M, kind of. They look a lot different, but…how about Jack-be-little? Jack be quick. Jack-be-little is a pumpkin. It’s from the pepo family, introduced in the eighties. Small, palm-sized pumpkin. Palm-sized pumpkin.
It’s a popular, decorative object, can be used in cooking. In the seventies it got invented. They're bright orange, can be white. Round ribbed; that was the word we’ve been looking for the whole show, Scooter; ribbed. Ribbed…they can be ribbed, they can be flattened. One inch to two-to-three inches wide. One inch tall, two to three inches wide. Ninety-five days to mature. They could be dried and shellacked, Scooter. Have you shellacked any gourd before? No. So, this is Jack-be-little. Candy corn, Scooter said. It’s easy. They're both very cute. Candy corn it is for Jack-be-little. Alright, what else do we have? Scooter’s looking through the list. The Dickinson pumpkin. Dickinson pumpkin. The Dickinson pumpkin is from the moschata family. It’s the kind you put in canned pumpkins and the common filling for pumpkin pie. We don't even have a picture of it, Scooter. Yeah, they were first farmed in the US state of Kentucky in the 1800s.
Elijah Dickinson…they grow well in the dark…dark, rich soil in Central Illinois. So, Scooter wishes we had saved…what candy makes everything better, Scooter? That’s the Dickinson pumpkin. It’s an ingredient as well as a pumpkin. He said, well, KitKat, because…he said a pie has layers; a KitKat has layers. I said, okay, Scooter, I’ll go with that. KitKat. So, leave your Kitkats for the Dickinson pumpkin, everybody. Here on KBOR Radio we just want you to leave the lights…we don't leave the lights on for you, but…we got one last…we got time for one last gourd, probably. One last gourd. Could be the Long Island Cheese Pumpkin, the futsu black-rinded pumpkin, the Napoleonar kubris pumpkin, some…? There’s a lot. Baby Boo pumpkin, the blanche de Virginia pumpkin, the Gemini F1 or the gold rush F1, the Mandarin pumpkin. There’s ones…there’s a lot of ones we're not able to say, huh, Scooter? There’s just too many letters in there. He said, take…we're gonna take a look at this one. Yeah, okay.
Let’s do it. Big Max. I’m not saying this is the pumpkin of the year. This is just our last pumpkin. It’s a large pumpkin. It’s from the maxima. Can be up to 150 pounds, 68 kilos under ideal conditions. Bright orange sometimes, but the ones we're looking at are more of a off-white light orange. Fine grained, yellow-orange, deeply ribbed, slightly roughened. They're favorable for storage, good for canning and freezing. Even though the size can make culinary use cumbersome, they…and they lack flavor in other smaller varieties…best two to four weeks planning after the blast frost. They get ripe in 110 to 120 days after sowing. Amazing. Big Max. Scooter made…think of Goof Troop, but…Big Max is gonna be matched with our last thing, the Twix bar. Big Max gets a Twix. So, if you have Twixes, bring them to this Great Gourd Patch here, and let me at them, because…yeah. I’ll have one; you'll have one. This is KBOR Radio. We're signing off now. Everybody get comfortable, get rested, get in bed, and take care, 'cause this is your narrator, Lionel coming at you off into dreamland. Goodnight, everybody, from KGORD Radio. Thanks.
[End of recording]
Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes
