Bedtime stories to help grown ups fall asleep in the deep, dark night.
Another seminar on using boredom to succeed, this time in podcasting.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls and friends beyond the binary, it's time for the podcaster who's here to slow it down, patrons, and put you to sleep. Thanks for listening and for supporting the show. Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it as a bedtime story. All's you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you can set aside whatever's keeping you awake, whether its thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, maybe singular sensations that … now I'm … thoughts and feelings … I was just laughing because that's like a, one singular sensation, I think that's also the Lullaby of Old Broadway … Okay, going off topic. Okay, so whatever's keeping you up, that is my main thing.
So if you're thinking about stuff, if you're feeling stuff, if you're experiencing anything, got anything going on situationally, or even if you're just looking for company, you're looking for a bore friend, you found it. Because what I'm going to do, I got this safe place ready for you here, and prepared. I'm going to send my voice across the deep dark night, I'm going to use lulling, soothing, creaky dulcet tones. It's creaky, I don't even know how that's spelled, dulcet. It's a little bit rusty, a little bit sweet. But superfluous, meanders, extra words, whatever I just said, like remembering old TV commercials they say … What else, I was trying to come up with that Sleep With Me formula, that's what people say sometimes, like in my imagination. And they say, “What is that, cayenne?” “No, there's no cayenne in there.”
Okay. So you got your creaky dulcet tones, you got the rusty meanders, doesn't make any sense, like circular stuff, or ovular, and what else is in there? Old TV shows and commercials and everything I've ever absorbed in my entire life is what's in there. Center of lens of … okay. You turned that one around on me, that's not really, yeah, I didn't realize we were interviewing ourselves, but so let's take it to the new listener.
So if you're new, I'm glad you're here. Couple things to know. This podcast is different, so if you're already like, “What is this,” or you checked it out, you say, “What, is this supposed to put me to sleep? I don't understand what that…”, those kind of things, I totally understand. If you're skeptical, or you're a little bit on edge, or you're like, “I'm Not sure about this, dude,” I just want to announce it's a very common experience, so give the show a few tries. I'll just try to prepare you in a couple ways. Like this intro, and the show in general, it kind of never really comes together in a clear way. I mean it does, if you're a regular listener you know what I'm talking about.
But it's not some kind of instant sleep fix, or some sort of sleep thing that's like, just falls into place. It's just different and it's meant to kind of keep you company as you drift off. And I thought I'd be able to explain it better, but I've been doing this a while and I still haven't figured out an easy explanation.
So I'll just tell you if you're new, I'm trying to help, it doesn't work for everybody. So see how it goes. Also, since you're new, I want to prepare you for structure, which is show starts off with business, and I'm so grateful to the regular listeners that support the sponsors and support the show, because that's how I'm able to have the podcast here free for you. So thank you to them.
Then there's the intro. Now the intro is around 12 to 15 minutes or so. And you say, “Well that's a pretty long intro. What do you do in that intro?” Well, not much. You see … what's it called, like spinning your thumbs, is that called … like you say, “I'm just spinning my thumbs,” or whatever. I think there's another word for that but I can't think of it. You say, “Well, the intro's kind of, a show within a show,” and what it's really designed for is helping ease you into bedtime. Like some listeners start it while they're getting ready for bed, and some listeners start it when they're in bed, and then a few listeners skip it and go straight to the story. If you want to skip it just set the show to start at like 18, 20 minutes. Or you become a patron and you just get the story-only episodes in the feed.
But for most people that say, “Well, it takes a little time to get ready for bed.” It's kind like a thing, like of course we want to fall asleep right away, and like so I'm trying to ease you into bedtime wherever you're starting the show. So basically, the intro's that. It's like, “Scoot, when are you going to get to the point?” Well, when I can pronounce, “Going to get to the point,” I'll probably still talk for four or five more minutes about stuff, and then we'll get to the, like a random Tuesday-style episode, which we only call a Tuesday-style episode because we used to come out on Tuesdays, now it comes out on Sunday or Wednesday, and that just means it's kind of a random potpourri-style episode.
To that's the intro. Then there'll be the episode. Like I said, it'll be like a little bit of a bedtime story, and then there'll be some thank-yous at the end. And there's some business tucked between the intro and the story. So that's structurally what to expect.
Also, you're under no pressure to listen to me, or to fall asleep. So this is weird, because it's a sleep, it's a podcast and it's a sleep podcast, and you'd say, “Well, the most essential thing, definition of podcast is something you listen to.” And I'd say, “Well, is it something you listen to or something you hear? Or something you're vaguely aware may be playing? But you may not be hearing or listening. You could just be in its presence.”
And they'd say, “Well that won't work,” and I'd say, “Yeah, this is one podcast you can say, ‘Well I'm in your presence,'” and that's kind of the social deal. Like too, it's like, imagine, I mean this is really the role I hope the podcast fulfills and feels like, imagine you had someone in your life, and they were on call, and you had a total, you're like, first of all you said, like they were a person you just felt very comfortable around. But then you also had an agreement that they would put you to sleep without any expectations on their end.
So it's like, “Okay, you just come over or I'll call you, tell me about your day or tell me about something, about some comics you read, but at some point I'm going to stop listening, and also I'm not going to humor you and be like, ‘Ooh, tell, oh boy, really? So it was Calvin and Hobbes and, oh boy. Tell, oh boy. Keep going. Was it a Sunday or a weekday? Was it one of the weekday ones that had … Was this in a newspaper or in a dream?'” Like you don't have to humor, so it would be like, “Okay, so you're just going talk, and I can fall asleep,” and you don't, you say, “Yeah, that's how it works.”
I don't know what I was trying to explain other than, “Oh, so no pressure to listen, and no pressure to fall asleep.” Oh yeah, so that's what I mean, the podcast is present for you, but you don't have to hear it or listen to it.
And the same thing with no pressure to fall asleep. The shows are about an hour, a little bit over an hour. So you can drift off whenever you need to. Or you could line up episode after episode, as a lot of our patrons do, they'll listen to like eight episodes in a night. And that way, as you say, or you might wake up at 2:00 or 3:00, and you say, “Okay, I need to start the episode again.” So however you choose to listen, you'll kind of discover, but there's no pressure to sleep because I'm going to be here the whole time, and I make this show just as much for the people that are listening that can't sleep at all. That's why I'm here to the very end, it's so the people who fall asleep in two minutes but the episode is still playing and somehow helping you stay asleep.
So that's a little bit about the structure of the show and what to expect. I'm trying to think of like, oh, I was talking about those old commercials. What did I say? I was, now I just have the like, what was it, one singular sensation. This show does not have a singular sensation. It's like, some people would say, “Well, it's singularly boring,” and I'd say, “Well …”, but do we have a singular sensation? Because we got creaky dulcet tones, going off topic, keeping you company. I think that's like if we … I don't think … I wonder what they were referring to. Is that A Chorus Line that song's from? Yeah, I don't know. Even my memory is not so good. That's another thing in general. So they say, “Well,” I mean again, I just remember those songs from being on a commercial for the Milford Plaza on WPIX like in the '80s or early '90s.
So, yeah. I don't know. Here's the thing, if you can't sleep I want to help. I want to help you fall asleep. I've been there, and that's one of the main reasons I make this show is because you say, “Well, it would be nice, or it would have been nice when I was a kid and I couldn't sleep, just to have someone come in and say, ‘Hey, it seems like you can't sleep. That stinks.'”
And you say, “Well, I don't know, is there a way I could help you?”
“I don't know.”
“Yeah, I don't know either. What if I just sit here and keep you company? Do you think that would help?”
“I don't know.”
“Right. I don't know either. Maybe if it doesn't help you sleep at least I'll be here to keep you company, huh?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
“Maybe I could just talk about something inane and pleasant.”
“Okay, but just don't talk about WPIX commercials again.”
“Well that just makes me think about why … I don't know, I was just trying to throw you for a loop.”
“Okay, well I'll just, like I'll be here, and I can tuck you in a little bit there and say get comfortable, get in there, oh yeah, I really like that pillow technique you're doing. What do you call that?”
“I call it the twist and puff.”
“Ooh. Twist and puff, I like that. What is that you're doing with your elbow?”
“Oh yeah, I call that bed scooping. I don't know, I just think it helps me get it comfortable.”
“Sure. And I did notice your big toe on your right foot is kind of rubbing, it's almost like you're kind of digging in your bed with your right toe.”
“Yup. I do that too. It's makes, I don't know, I like it, it's soothing.”
“Cool. Well I'm really learning a lot just being here watching you get in bed and fall asleep.”
“Yeah, so you're just going to be …”
“Yeah. Because I know you can't fall asleep. I know … And here's the thing. I believe you deserve a good night's sleep, I believe you deserve to be treated with dignity and respect and I'm just here to help.”
And the thing is I know you say, “Well, I wish I could have an instant on-call person to do that.” And you say, “Well, I don't know if that's an option. Everybody's got to get to sleep too.”
“Yeah, that's why I make this podcast and you can just use it on demand when you need it.”
“Huh. What's it like, so I just get in bed, turn out the lights and press play, huh?”
“Yeah, or you could do that in any order but that is just the way I used to always say it, so it's kind of like a well-worn pathway.”
“Okay, great. Well thanks for being here and keeping me company.”
“No problem. I'm glad to be here to keep you and everyone else company that's listening.”
And like I said, if you're new, give this show a few tries, see how it goes. 90, 95% of listeners say, “It took two or three tries before I started regularly listening to this show,” and yeah. Appreciate your time. I work very hard, I yearn and I strive because I want to help you fall asleep, and thanks again for coming by. And here's a couple ways we keep this show going.
Hey everybody, this is a style of show we haven't done in a while, and you know, it's not easy making a sleep podcast because the main way you support the show is, you know, if you put people to sleep then it gets, it's hard for them to get a message to support the show and so, you know, so if you've been listening to the show for years you know it's like never easy. Because they say, “Okay, the podcast is so good at putting people to sleep it makes it harder to get the listeners to take action.” And that's how podcasting, podcasting's different, like where it's not a mass medium, so there's no advertising, just to hear it it's always, “Oh, how many people buy this stuff, or how many people become patrons,” and that translates into the budget for the show to keep it going and free.
But a long time ago I made a deal with someone, kind of like that they would, kind of like an advertising deal. It wasn't super lucrative unfortunately, because it was early on in the podcast. But I did make this deal where they have access to the podcast occasionally, and actually they were smarter because they got in early. And then I say, “Are you going to run one of these episodes any time soon?” And they say, “Not right now,” because they were waiting as the podcast has grown and grown and grown because of all the wonderful listeners like you who spread the word just naturally.
And also I don't know a lot about this, like usually now I say like, “Okay, well you could work with they show, that's great, let me check out what, like let me check your product out or let me check you out.” This is like a mysterious, it's just a seminar company. I guess it's not that mysterious. And much like the podcast they wanted people to succeed. And I think they built their business model, their business model is Bore To Win. It's Bore To Win Seminars, and I think that now they call it Bore To Win, Life Enrichment LLC, or something was the last notice they sent me when they said, “Okay, we'd like to run another episode.” And unfortunately I didn't know, like I don't know what it's about. Luckily they're coming here to record it. But usually they're pretty relaxing, so it actually has worked out, it just hasn't worked out for me because they say, “Well that's like only, that doesn't even pay for the editing of the episode.”
But whatever, you know. It's an early deal, it's good content, I believe. So usually even I snooze through these episodes. Although I did say, “What are you going to be talking about tonight?” And they said, “Oh, well we prefer to, like, you just could hear it.”
So I guess without further ado, I think it's Brad Braderson is the person that runs it. So I'm going to turn things over to Brad Braderson from Bored to Win, Life Enrichment Industries is what it says here. If you're looking for health, wealth, happiness … I don't know if I can say that … good abs … Okay, you said that was optional. Well I already said it now. Health, wealth, happiness, possibly can we just put question mark abs? Brad's nodding here. Because I don't know, I think that's like, not true. Okay, well …
Oh, but everybody's a fan of abs? Well I wouldn't say everybody's a fan of abs. I mean, I think like that's just another aspirational thing. Not to quibble, Brad. Great to have you back. So if you're looking, I never actually investigated the health, wealth, or happiness parts of your slogan either. But we're proud to present another seminar from Bored To Win, Life Enrichment Enterprises. And here's Brad Braderson. Take it away, Brad.
Hello everyone, this is Brad Braderson here. Thank you, Scooter, and thanks for having me in your ears. I really appreciate it and we're here from Bored to Win, Life Enrichment Enterprises to help you on the path to health, wealth, and happiness, smiles … You know, we're in the elusive search for that 60/40, 80/20 mix. We're here to support you on that journey. We're here to unlock the empowering secrets of boredom and the paths that boredom leads to.
And we're going to do that today, we have a new product we're launching. And those of you that have already become part of the Bored To Win Life Enrichment Society. The membership is currently closed so those that got in on the … Now it may reopen at some unknown point in the future, but those of you that became members early on you're in a great position because you'll have first access to what we're going to …
I guess you, also the people that listen to the podcast, you're getting this free, and this will be a premium product eventually. It'll go behind the secret, within the Bored To Win Life Enrichment Enterprises and Industries, we're discussing Industries versus Enterprises, it'll go behind our paywall, and I know you already listen to a podcast, a sleep podcast called Sleep With Me, and Scooter happens to be a good friends with Craig and Harris from Sleep Whispers podcast. Also know he's a big fan of Justin McElroy who has the Empty Bowl podcast, and I know Scooter likes bedtime stories from Rebel Girls, and he's exchanged nice emails with Otis from Sleepy podcast.
And there's a whole industry of sleep and sleepy related podcasts. Now there's businesses in it, and we said to ourselves here at Bored to Win Enterprises, we already have plenty of nearly free advertising in Sleep With Me, and as we see more and more companies begin to say, “Well, what is this Sleep With Me,” and we see divergent things, you know Scooter's been trying to get Trader Joe's to advertise on his podcast, and they say, “Oh, we don't want to advertise on podcasts.” We said, “Well, maybe this isn't just, Scooter's just not, maybe Scooter just needs to keep making Sleep With Me,” and they say, “Is this a cottage industry?” Well, we're going to find out because we're going to empower you today to create your own seminar.
Now this is not based on any of Scooter's techniques, but we have had Bored To Win Labs, which you could tour Bored to Win Labs if you're a member of the Bored To Win Life Enrichment Society. That does come with being able to purchase those tickets, it's only available to members, and if the membership reopens you would be able to tour Bored to Win Labs where you see, where we're doing, we're pushing the edges of boredom as a part of life.
And they say one day, all these other … We do believe in the Karol [Jowekyan 00:21:00] philosophies of mindset and having a boredom embracing growth mindset. But we're just focusing on boredom. Other people are doing other stuff, neuroscience, we have neuroscientists who are aware of our existence. And all the other things.
So we've been working, listening, now we did purchase … Well, we subletted some space on some, those machine learning servers. And they say that those are, some of those are based on AI and we've been looking for more of the AI with the EI, like emotional … Do you have any AI with EI? And we've been trying to find, within our budget, ways to analyze the Sleep With Me podcast through AI, to discover why it really works. And then say, “Well, this would be easily replicable for our enterprise customers, and those members of the Bored To Win Life Enrichment Society.”
And you, dear listeners, and mainly just to say, “Huh.” Now you might say, “What is the cost of this Life Enrichment Society you're talking about, Brad?” And I'd say, “Well, how much is your enriching, you know, a life of enrichment worth to you?” Because we do offer, for 100K, this was before we closed the membership because of demand, for a lifetime membership, a onetime price for a lifetime of enrichment, of access to enriching products.
Now you might say, “Wow, 100K. Wow, what a bargain. But I don't have that to put to …”
And I'd say, “Well, if you're not, you know … well you could spread apart multiple payments on multiple credit cards.” And we're not really here to talk about those things exactly, I just want to, but a monthly fee is, you know, the goal of the monthly fee is to make that pricing look like a deal.
But you say, “Well but how could I unlock these …”
Now we will tell you that direct income from a sleep … But you say, “Well, okay.” But it's a way, we're just working on unlocking the secrets to Scooter's podcast. Now I could hear him sighing in the other room, and he's muttering that this is totally incorrect and off-base. But we feel like we've learned a lot, especially through our AI bots with a little bit of emotional intelligence. And we have human curators who've been working with us. So we're going to present how to podcasting Bore to Win. The Bored to Win, now we won't be making our own podcasts. We've thought about that but since we have space on Scooter's show we said, “Well there's a built-in audience ready to hear our message. And ready to Bore to Win, the podcast edition.” So let's get started, what do you say?
Okay, hold on here, Brad, I hate to break in on you, but what … Are you trying to copy, teach people how to copy my podcast?
Scooter, we're looking at expanding the great foundation that you started. We'd like to just expand on that, to for-profit corporations, start-ups, you know, and maybe solopreneurs, entrepreneurs that are involved in our Society, particularly.
Okay. That is, you're going to do that on my podcast, so …
Well Scooter here's a pitch to you. You could be the first to give away all your secrets. Think about all the greats that have done that.
Okay, I don't … I'll tell you Brad, there's actually no secrets to the podcast that I know about. So do you know, do you think you actually … well, this could be actually … So maybe I could use this, because really, Brad, it's not about any of that stuff, right?
Scooter, tell me more. Scooter, do you mind if I grab a pen and pencil?
Why don't you grab one of those, and something to write on, Brad, because I might just teach you how to Bore to Win, to Bore to Win via podcast, but I'd actually like to, maybe I could improve my podcast. Because I'm just here to help the people that are listening get some rest and get comfortable. Turn out the lights, press play, and just be there. Keep them company while, if they're awake or asleep.
Right, Scooter. We just think you're missing out on a grape, great opportunity …
Did you say grape opportunity? Like I would love a grape, I had a grape soda last week, and I've always liked the term grape ape. That was a cartoon, I think, I don't know if it was a character on a cartoon. It was a giant ape who was grape, who was grape and he was Grape Ape. I would love to go to a character greeting that said, “Grape opportunity,” like I would love to get the opportunity to get a photo with the Grape Ape.
Okay, Scooter, I don't know if you were doing that on purpose or that was just your natural techniques, but it's good that, so we could work together on this seminar.
Listen, Brad, I know I'm kind of contractually obligated to give you this time, and unfortunately I didn't know what I was doing, so I'm contractually obligated to let you say what you are, and you have final edit on your spoken portions, and I did, now that I have a coin on my side, like I said, I can also say whatever I want. But yeah, I think we could work together. This could be a win-win situation. Because I don't, actually I don't even know, I'll be honest with you Brad, I just told you all the secrets to the podcast earlier. So if you have anything then I can use it to make my podcast better.
Scooter, you'd be Boring to Win.
Yeah. I mean I don't know, the health, wealth, and happiness, I don't think that's … like I'd like to flourish, and I'd like my listeners to flourish. And I think flourishing, it becomes something beyond, you know, beyond, like it's being instead of … do you, is aspiration, like the act of aspiring, aspiration? Or is that like when you're breathing through your skin, Brad?
Scooter, I'm not going to take the bait on that. I'd like to give you one of our talking topics here, as we focus on everybody listening to the seminar here, when you're sitting down to record. Now again, and during this particular free presentation, we won't be handling any of the technical aspects, but that will be part of our elite coaching program that'll be available through the Society eventually when we reopen membership.
But Scooter, we found that somehow you toe the line between mediocrity and excellence in some way, and we've started to think about what does that mean? And we actually, we thought that … So Scooter, that's actually why we're just clarifying, I thought that was what talking topics, Scooter, but now you've almost, you've got me in a …
Okay. So you're saying I'm excellent in my mediocrity? Tell me more about, so if I was shorting a sleep podcast, how would I be excellent at my mediocrity?
Well Scooter, basically what we're saying is content-wise it doesn't really matter what you talk about, and you just prepare something mediocre, and you present it in an excellent way. Now your excellent way is boring. So I guess that was what we're saying.
Okay. So you're basically saying … no, Brad, don't worry. I know you could see by the furrowing of my brow I have thoughts about this, but they're not all thoughts about, involved with you, Brad. So let me talk about this is a way that is open minded and in a spirit of learning. Because I think I could see, and again I wonder if I should even be telling you any of this, Brad, but I can see how you'd have that, as you like, if you took apart a … Okay, let's talk about Ariel from Little Mermaid, right?
Okay, Scooter, I thought you were going to tell me about mediocrity and excellence.
Okay, well I think I am, eventually. So you're basically saying, what you're positing is, if I deliver something mediocre in an excellent way, that that's kind of the key to the podcast, putting people to sleep, right? Let's just say I could talk about anything or read something, or just go off topic, it's really more, mostly about the delivery and the style of delivery, and that's what you're saying, right? And what I'm saying is, I guess I have a couple stories to tell you. So settle in, Brad, get comfortable.
And so first off I was thinking, like first I thought I was going to tell you about my neighbor, Billy, when I was growing up. And one of the people I aspired to be. He was like a motorcycle, he had a motorcycle, he had multiple motorcycles, he had snowmobiles, he had a dog named Rebel. And more than once upon a … He also had a lot of stuff in his parent's backyard. And he never became an older brother, he was almost like an older brother figure to me but only like four or five momentary moments in my life. But one thing I know was that he was mechanically-minded, right? But he was also, you don't just instantly become mechanically-minded.
So when you were talking about all that I have these distinct memories of more than one occasion, sometimes it was with his own motorcycle, this was when he was in his teens and his teens. And then onetime, I think with an outboard motor, like a used outboard motor my Dad had bought that stopped working, and Billy said, “I'll fix it.” And to fix something, especially something very mechanical, this was before the internet, Brad, you'd have to take it all apart, right?
And also before, I guess like, I guess that brings up a third thing, Brad, is how you told us to take photos? Because I've changed the battery and the screen on my phone before, and I think it was one tip the place gave me, but maybe I just learned it or maybe I read it on the internet, it was like take a picture at every phase as you're taking it apart, so then you know how to put it back together. And they had pictures too, but it's good to take your own pictures so then you could kind of see … I guess if you're taking apart your phone … You know what I mean though, Brad?
Scooter, we have a lot of topics to cover here tonight.
Don't worry, Brad, I promise this will put your listeners onto health, wealth, and happiness. Oh boy, will it. But so Billy took apart this outboard motor on top of a tarp. So all the parts were on the tarp, all the insides of the outboard motor were now all the parts everywhere. And an outboard motor's got a lot of parts. This makes like a rowboat go.
Okay, Brad, so Billy had them all spread out there, and I guess like he was trying to figure out what was wrong with it and how to fix it. Now my Dad is not mechanically minded, and he may be, I don't know if he's result-based. I don't think like, I don't know if he's a Jowekyan, I'll tell you that for sure. And I'm sure he's like, he's very, I'm very much like him, in the sense that if I was in his shoes at the time and Billy said, “Oh, something wrong with your motor? Why don't I fix it. I'll do it for 50 bucks,” or whatever. Or, “I'll do it for free, or I'll do it for a couple lunches.” My gut would say, “Oh no, no no, no no, no no.” But I wouldn't want to displease or say no to Billy, so I'd probably say yes. But then I would be thinking the whole time, “Oh no, no no, no no.”
That's actually the sound that a good outboard motor makes, “Oh no no, no no, no no, no no, no no, no no.” And so basically when my Dad saw the motor taken apart, then that started his own like, inboard motor running, rattling away. And then eventually the clock started ticking, and it's like, “Okay, when is this, is this ever going to be fixed? Is it going to …”, you know, a dance.
Now meanwhile from Billy's perspective, I don't know. But he took it apart, he was genuinely going to fix it, maybe he was learning how to fix it, or maybe he took on too big a job, or maybe it would have eventually gotten fixed. I don't know, I mean I know it probably had to be brought to a repair shop, but that's not the important part of the story, Brad, is that once you picture all the pieces …
Scooter, are you saying I'm Billy?
Brad, you're getting way ahead of yourself, so far ahead of yourself. But just picture that tarp with thousands of parts from an outboard motor. Pretty nice, it was a beautiful summer day, there's grass around it. But that's a lot of parts, and if you just look at one of those parts you say, this is where it becomes a Little Mermaid thing, right? And we could even use that as like a world metaphor.
Now imagine Ariel has her sea legs, or earth legs, and she's still friends with whatever that bird's name was, maybe I'll remember it, Scuttle I think. Yeah, it was Scuttle. And situationally maybe, maybe Ariel and Eric and Scuttle and Fival or whoever else, they live down the street. Ariel, the movie was almost in real time. Ariel and Eric got married, but you know Ariel is still a new person in our world, right?
Okay, Scooter, I'm with you.
So just like in the movie, if Ariel and Scuttle were walking, and you say, “Hey, Ariel, what's up? You …”, I guess my first thing would be, it would be more subtle than this, it would be like, “So what's the sitch with you and Prince Eric? He travels a lot, huh, for work.”
“Well he's a prince.”
“Yeah. And his dog chases around poor Scuttle all the time.” And Scuttle would probably say, “No, actually, the dog and I are …”, say okay, anyway. “Geez, Ariel, good to see you.”
“Scooter, you really are a good friend.” And then I would sigh, and then Ariel would say “Scuttle, what is all this stuff here?” And they would go through the parts of the outboard motor and talk about them. And Scuttle would pick something up and it would be totally … No one knows, I haven't written any Scuttle fan fiction yet, so who knows what's going on with Scuttle. Is Scuttle like just as, is Scuttle living in a fantasy world? Is Scuttle just … I guess the question would be with this one would be does Scuttle believe what Scuttle's saying or not? But I guess for this example it doesn't really matter, is that Scuttle would be identifying all these parts, and saying, “This is what it does.”
Scooter, are you saying I'm Scuttle?
Well Brad, I'm not sure. I mean you could be Billy, maybe the AI, but then Ariel's there saying, “Huh. Tell me more. What?” So I guess my point is, I think I had a third point that I forgot about though, huh.
Scooter, your third point was talking about your phone. Okay, so let's think about how to empower this. So I don't think, I think you're … you're saying that this big part must be, I think you are a little, you're pulling a little bit of Scuttle, and I can see how …
Okay. Here's another topic just to discuss on this subject, Brad, is, now I guess the reason why my brow was so furrowed is it is something I think about a lot, is well geez, is the podcast just that one part, the majority what you're saying? And then I would say, “Well, would I want to just do that all the time?” Because it still would be a lot of work. Even if it didn't take all of the preproduction of like writing things, or preparing things, or taking notes, or all of the craftsmanship that I believe that goes into the beginning, the preshow part of things.
So even if that was delusional, like I am Scuttle in this model, and I'm believing what I'm saying, I'm saying, “Oh, this really is a foozledorf schneizer, and that's what you, you use it to open your nostrils more.” I guess I would say, doesn't that bring Scuttle like, hmm. I guess Scuttle is probably a bad example in this situation. But I'd say, I think the inherent work, the craft that goes into making a podcast is also what makes it sustainable. Even though it makes it a lot more work, the work in some sense generates the sustainability of the show.
Scooter I hear what you're saying, but we're looking to, I guess we're looking to streamline what you're doing and make it scalable.
Oh boy, did you just say, “Scalable,” huh? So that's where we're at. Okay, well let's … Oh so you're saying, well I guess scalable would be like row oars. So you'd say, so okay, let's just say yes, Brad, let's you and I, Ariel, would you like to join me and Brad for a boat ride with oars?
You're going to go home and look out the window and wonder … Okay, great. Think about Prince Eric's hair and eyes for a while? Scuttle, why don't you go and keep Ariel company, because I think you and I are two birds of a feather. Right, I'll see you later.
So we would be streamlined in this rowboat with just these oars, Brad.
So a streamlined version of this show, I see what you're saying, would focus …
Okay, I'm going to give you another secret, Brad, and maybe you've done enough research that this isn't going to blow your mind. And a regular listener would know all this, is that boredom, when I say this show's bore … I guess you built a whole industry on boredom, so you probably know more about it than I do. But for me boresome is an entry point, right? And it always has been since the start of the show, because I want the show to be, feel accessible and not intimidating, and welcoming. And if it was more high-minded I think in some sense it might feel like, “Whoa.” It's like I spin these fantastical tales of, like goofy would be another good, or nonsense. Like you'd say, “What's Scooter's main things? Nonsense, goofiness, being gentle, those like, going off topic, thinking about Grape Ape even like …”
Here's a question, Brad, now that we're out in this rowboat and it's warm, and I'll do the paddling because I got to get my, you know, I got to get in better shape than Prince Eric, hopefully. I don't think that's happening, but …
Oh, his, Grape Ape, do you think was ever on a grape … Like I think Grape Ape would, predated a juice boxes, but I was just thinking I'd love a juice box with Grape Ape on it that said, “Grape Ape, a juice box.”
Okay, Brad. So, where was I? I think I was going to make a point and then I forgot what it was. Which is another … oh, so, putting … we're going to streamline things, I don't know Brad, did you remember what I was talking about?
Scooter, I think you were going to reveal what … Oh, boredom, Scooter, you were …
Oh. So boredom's an entry point for the show, not, it is kind of like a portion of what works, but it's not the primary thing. It's more like, “Oh, you're going to bore me to sleep. I think I can kind of understand that.” And that doesn't feel super intimidating, or it doesn't sound like a big obligation for me, the listener. So I'll, I can check that out. So it's a podcast where a dude bores you to sleep. Now when people talk about it interpersonally, they think it's still a good entry point to say, because some people say, “You're so boring,” and I say, “Great. That's perfect.”
But then someone will say, “Well you're not boring.” And I say, “Well, boredom is in the toolkit. It's one of the bigger tools in the toolkit.” I guess that's the point I was trying to make, Brad. But it's not the only tool. But when people say, “Did you bring your tool kit,” if you're like a super journeyman, you're fixing outboard motors, now maybe that's all Billy showed up with because he had a socket set and some pliers, and maybe a couple other things. And the journeyperson, outboard motor repair person, might say, “Okay, well I got the tensile nine or forty and stuff,” now maybe that sounds like Scuttle would be saying it but real.
So I guess like, you can bore to win, clearly you've proven it, Brad, because you have a Society of enrichers or whatever. But I guess I just wanted to say that, I don't think it's the primary, like I think it's like when you think about building, so when we think about streamlining it …
Scooter. Can I …
Okay, go ahead, Brad, I'm glad … Brad you're reminding me more, have you ever met Stan?
Scooter, we've analyzed the Stan. Stan's clearly a projection of one of the inner children that lives within you.
Okay, well you've been wrong before, Brad, but like, I'm not, I just, it's possible, though.
Okay, Scooter, I just wanted to … So if we were taking the tenants of making a podcast, a Bore to Win podcast, a podcast to put people to sleep, boredom would be one of the … Scooter, you know what's always efficient is always having five pillars. Or five keystones of sleepy podcast creation. Whether it's corporate, whether it's funded by VCs, or whether it's simply solo … members of our society, Scooter. So boredom could be one of the five. Could we have tenants instead?
What about tent poles?
Scooter, normally there's only one tent pole at the center of the tent. That's why it's called a tent pole movie.
Okay, but usually in the summer there's like three tent pole movies, right?
But Scooter, I'm shooting for five.
Okay, well I'll just be honest with you, because since this is like my kind, I don't want to forte you, but, you know. Will you let me forte? I'm just kidding, Brad. Just to be efficient, so boredom is one of the five keystones. Let's go with that.
Okay, Scooter. And I'm a little bit wondering how we are going to get through …
We'll get through it together, Brad. I'm here to help.
So you'd say boredom is one of the keystones, and I believe that, and you're right, I analyzed it and said boredom, and Brad let me give you two other keystones that I know you got right in your back pocket, is tone and pacing, right? So you have boredom, you have tone, and you have pacing. And I would say, “Okay, well,” now you have to have five keystones, huh. Do the keystone all have to be same? Now these are your keystones, not mine. I'm just going to be clear.
Scooter, we kind of, have ascertained through our analysis that yes, tone and pacing are the primary keystones along with boredom. And if we were creating our own course we would base it just on those three keystones. But for sales-based marketing purposes and AB testing, five keystone-based products or five pillar products sell better than three pillar products.
I think people want to go on a journey, they want to have a little bit more than a mouthful. So I think that would be your fourth pillar, which we could talk about the other pillars which would be, being around for people, Brad. It's really like …
Scooter, I don't know if that could quite fit as a keystone. Being around?
Okay, being present, being in the air. And that's a summary of, the tone and the pacing come through that. The actual boredom, as you way it, is a spirit. It's almost like a spirit, not a spiritual boredom in the religious or faith sense, but in the spirit, like the boredom, the spirit of the boredom is impacted, but Brad, believe it or not I just forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence.
Scooter, you're talking about the fourth pillar, which you said was being around.
Yeah. So kind of the like, this might be the only, I guess maybe that's a keystone, is really just being there for the person listening. You're there to keep them company with some silly boredom-based silliness, with calm, soothing tone and easy pace, that you're always trying to pay attention for, maybe sometimes you got to redial it back in. But that's the main thing, Brad, is you say, okay, you can have a pace, you can have it, but being there consumes like the release schedule, the time of the episodes, the content, the presentation. But it's really just about being there for the one person that's listening, Brad.
Okay, Scooter, I'm writing all of this down. So this is very, very good. But again, I don't quite know, in a course, Scooter, usually it's better to have one word, boredom, pacing, tone, and … Did you ever see the movie, is it Being There? Is that the name of the movie with John City Gardner? Scooter, we got to get to the fifth of your tenants and I also have a bunch of other stuff to present as part of this seminar.
Okay. Well honestly, I think you helped me a lot, Brad, because it's like, again, for me paying attention to those things, I didn't realize quite their interconnectedness until I was speaking to you about it. I knew they were interconnected, but now you can actually, I don't know if you can hear it in my voice, Brad, but I could feel the interconnectedness between the tone, the pacing, the being there, and the kind of being bored. You know, whatever, I don't know if that's a keystone, though, Brad. It's a tool in a toolbox but we're just going to use your words because this is your time.
Okay, what's the last one, Brad, because I know you're delaying, so I have a feeling you have a feeling that I'm not going to appreciate the last keystone.
Okay, Scooter, you're sitting down, but this is just the truth, Scooter, it's being first. And we just call it, arrival. But really, because I guess I was stuck with being there, the reason you're really, your success is due to the fact that you are … Well again, we won't talk about that part, Scooter.
Yeah, no, I could see how you totally feel that way, Brad. That's a very common theme. So don't worry about it. I'm a bit like Bran. You say, “Okay, I get it.” That most of the things that suggest the podcast was the first one of its kind, right?
Right, Scooter. And a lot of your, a lot of … But we have an empowering version of that message. That's why we call it …
Brad, are you doing some visioneering? Is that what you're doing?
I guess so, Scooter, but we call it arrival.
Okay. I just want to dissuade you of a couple points, though. Just ensure to empower your message is like so, the podcast is not new, the idea wasn't new, it's been around for millions, I mean not millions of years, but people telling each other stories like this for all of time. So I don't know necessarily that that, like that really isn't an empowering message for anyone else. It's kind of like you're saying, “Well, most of Scooter's success can be attributed to that. Being boring and being early.” And I could totally see why you could perceive that, especially when you're working with AI. So I'm not, it doesn't bother me at all. But I do want to just make sure, if you're going to be empowering other people that I'm interested to know how you would do that.
Scooter, so we're saying in arrived, instead of replicating you, because that's not possible, would be in arrival. So we're encouraging them to arrive. Now great, with our enterprise customers we could launch an entire plan to do that, and with marketing and PR and ad spend, and that could very easily scales with budget, Scooter, and we can arrive. And that can arrive on various platforms everywhere.
Now for the individuals that's in our Society what we'll do is they'll help one another arrive. And that will help them …
Okay, well I don't know about that. But here's the thing. Hmm. I'm trying to help you, Brad, without, I don't want to invalidate anything you're saying because everything you're saying is valid and definitely valid to you. I just don't know, like I say, okay, if we're going to build this wall here with that as a keystone, or we're building an arch or whatever, I'm not totally confident we should be walking under that one. That other ones I could see, kind of. So let's see if we could find our way there.
So here we are, welcome everybody, this is the abbreviated Bored To Win, Bore To Podcast To Win seminar. I'm here with my support staff, Brad Braderson. Say hi, Brad.
Oh, you're quick, boy oh boy. You're good, Brad. And we're here to present you, to set you, which is a little, you heard our practice podcast there, and we're here to set you on the path to health, wealth, and happiness through boredom, and through boring podcasting. And you're probably here because you want to unlock the secrets to health, wealth, and happiness, good hair, shiny teeth, and all of the other things that, you know, life enrichment as Brad says.
And we want to help you here, and Brad's working on a program for the members of the Enrichment Society, Keystones and Tenants of Boring Podcasting, the working title. We've kind of gone through some of the important tenants there, it's being boring, and that would be your content model and Brad says that somewhat, it's equally, it's one-fifth of the road to success, to health, wealth, and happiness. And defining content that's boring and uninteresting. According to the Boredom Institute, which preaches boredom first, it's a boredom first thing, is one of the keystones of their program that I'm just summarizing because I want to just clarify everything for them.
Second tenant and keystone is the pacing, which I guess … Now here's the thing. You have to discover it through time. Because you have to discover a pacing that's sustainable for you and the listener.
And a tone. A tone that is, that works for the listener and works … Normally I would put pacing and tone in their own keystones, but because of AB testing Brad has separated those out.
And this is a freebee that I'm giving to Brad and the Institute, it's the fourth keystone, it's presence. You're here in your situation to bore to win, you're a winner, or if you want to win you want to win through boredom. And you want to unlock the secrets to health, wealth, and happiness through boring others. And you want to be present for that. You want to enjoy every minute, and if you're enjoying every minute of, the tone and the pacing will follow that. And the content. So you want to remember that you're going to be there and you're going to be present for those …
I guess I do have to ask Brad a clarifying question before we move on to the fourth keystone, which I forgot and now I'm almost going to forget my question, Brad. Oh, Brad, so here's a question. So the people that will be doing this … So the enterprise customers of yours, they're like business, right? So they'd say, “Hey, we want to do a sleep podcast, or put people to sleep to promote our product,” right?
Scooter, brand, we're looking to …
Okay, so yeah, their brand or whatever. Okay. I get that. I could see that. Totally reasonable expectations and makes total sense, right? That you'd want to do that. Totally understandable. Okay, so that's one thing. So then, so you're, okay. So that would be, I guess … So what about the non-enterprise customers? I could see the enterprise customers clear as day. They say, “Hey, we make this,” I mean I guess some I can't see why, it's not clear as day, like Trader Joe's, say okay, you make a, why don't you make a podcast to buy products to put people … Instead, just do it on my show. They say, “We don't want to, our brand is not boredom.” Can you explain that to me, Brad?
Scooter, you could enroll in the …
Okay, you got me. You are a good co-host, Brad. We do have to tie all this together, though. The fourth tenant was arrival. So here's what, when we talk about arrival at the Boredom Institute, Brad means making a splash, getting the chatter going, getting the word of mouth going. And I would say, I'd bring it back to the presence, and remember now, Brad was bringing up one of my internal emotional children that they may have discovered at the Boredom Institute, along with my emotional marketer Brad, he's …
Now the presence and arrival, you want to be present for your arrival. You want to be present for the train on the journey before the arrival, and the arrival at the station. And so if you're an individual or a brand, like being aware of what your interests are, who you are, and why you're on this journey, where you're going, maybe you don't even know that 100% or what your current destination is, where you've come from and what you've seen on the way, will inform all of those other keystones.
So when you think about it, more think about that if it was in slow motion and you're dropping a pebble and the ripple is heading outward in very slow motion, as if time was slowed down, those ripples floating away from the pebble. Don't forget those ripples and then don't forget about, keep it, go back in time. Where did you pick the pebble up from? Why did you choose that pedal, pebble? Maybe you dropped a pedal in there, from a bike or from a flower. What did it feel like in your hand? What did it remind you of? What did the air smell like? Not the specific details.
Remember you have your own unique window that you look through on the world, your own unique makeup. And I guess this is scalable for brans in some sense is, or brands, or bran. I don't know, bran doesn't have its own brand. I guess Raisin Bran is the closest thing. So when you think about your arrival, think about you, and who you are. And that'll help the uniqueness of your delivery, and it'll inform all those other things.
And also, just when you think about the health, wealth, and happiness that the Institute guarantees, you think about the opportunity to get to know yourself better and to find your voice. I think all of those keystones that Brad and the Institute have invented are really about finding your voice. And maybe you're finding a boring intonation of your voice and maybe that is part of your journey there, part of your discovery, and part of what you're trying to find or if you're part of a team, you've got a job, you've got to pay bills, I get it. Think about that.
And I would just say, working with Brad's notes here, I think the last one is action. That's just a buzzy way to make it sound as I resummarize everything. Now the action for this podcast, and you say, Brad, or brand, or anything, you say, “Well metaphorically what is the action? How can we present it in a way that's clear and understandable?” And I would say it's a sense of holding, and you say, “Well give me some more, Scoots, I need to put this on a bumper sticker.” And I'd say, “Really? Part of your marketing plan is bumper stickers? Sign me up.”
“No, no, on a bill …”
Okay. I'll hold you in the palm of my hand is a term I've heard. Maybe holding you in my arms, you know like a pet or a child. Maybe it's just holding your hands, holding your palms, I find that very comforting myself is holding my hands in the palms of my hands. And I'm going it now. And when I do that it makes me sit in a way that I'm leaning in to listen, even though I'm doing the talking, that I'm saying, “I'm kind of here.” I'm talking in a listening sense to say, “Wow, I can't sleep.” “I wish you could, maybe I could do this to help you sleep.” It kind of always follows.
The suit, that's the action part of the plan, and I think really, like I talk about it, my podcast is like kissing your shoulders or yeah, holding your hands, or maybe rubbing your thumbs together, or … I don't know. Some people like to hold their open palm on their sternum and say, “Hey, I'm here for you.” Because maybe just the action for starting is kind of doing that for yourself to say, “Well …”
And then maybe there's another keystone, is the choice. You'd say, “Huh, is making a sleep podcast for me? Or do I want to make a podcast about something else? Or what's interesting to me?” And then holding yourself and seeing it as a journey of discovery.
I don't know. So maybe that's not a good one, Brad, but I think action is, you could reuse that … Oh. Brad's asleep. Great news, everybody, I still got it.
So I don't know. I had fun with Brad, and I could totally see Brad's points and the desire to kind of spread what I'm doing around and through other channels and other mediums and for other things. And I'm glad that Brad came to me and gave me the overview. And you'll say, “Geez, what is it? Is it an outboard motor? What does it, like when the outboard motor's taken apart …” And looking at stuff like this with Brad always gives me an opportunity to look at the podcast in a closer way. And really that is the important thing is you, and your dilemma, and the fact that I can relate to it. At least that's what's important to me, to say, “Huh. I know exactly what that is like. Huh. That really sounds tough.”
Let me be here, and let me see if my tone and my pacing and my content, and my presence, my actions, can reflect that fact. I'm not perfect like Brad. Brad never said that, but you know, the AI probably said … Well that probably confuses the AI a bit, that it's the imperfections in the podcast is maybe makes you work too, but when I think about those other things, or maybe those are my favorite things about the podcast works, that you let me in to try to help. And then I can try to be here, to keep you company, and to take your mind off stuff. Or not, just to be across the room or wherever I am. And sure that's replicable. Sure, I guess it's probably scalable for Brad. But it's also this individual thing in some way. And then it's not, it's opposite of that.
So thanks for letting me in time after time or whatever. I'm really glad, I really appreciate it, and I hope that we could keep doing this. This was a little bit different. I gave Brad Brad's allotted time. And if you're interested in anything they're doing there, maybe one day they'll launch a page, the Bored To Win Institute. Thanks, everybody, and good-night.
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Hi, you can call me Scooter.
Drew Ackerman is the creator and host of Sleep With Me, the one-of-a-kind bedtime story podcast featured in The New York Times, The New Yorker, Buzzfeed, Mental Floss, and Dr. Oz. Created in 2013, Sleep With Me combines the pain of insomnia with the relief of laughing and turns it into a unique storytelling podcast. Through Sleep With Me, Drew has dedicated himself to help those who feel alone in the deep dark night and just need someone to tell them a bedtime story.