First Fearless Flyer Episode Ever #498 Listener Favorite from the Archives

Notable Language:

• Moon Mode
• Salty Honey Toffee Milk Chocolate Covered Crackers
• Eggnog

Notable Culture:

• Safeway
• Taxi Driver
• Silver Linings Playbook

Notable Talking Points:

• Would an actuary and notary public share an office in a Western town?
• If I’m getting Christmas ice cream, it better have peppermint
• It’s a big mistake to ever have chocolate and orange juice together

First Fearless Flyer Episode Ever #498 Listener Favorite from the Archives

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, it’s time for the podcaster that’s doing his best to create a safe place here for everybody.  Say jeez, this is a podcast to help you out and put you to sleep.  You’re welcome here, here in the climb-in closet, live where we record Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  Anyway, it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.

 

Hey everybody, this is a repeat episode.  This is a style of show we…this is…I think is the first ever Fearless Flyer episode we ever did.  We stopped doing these as public episodes, but there’s…they do come out on Patreon a couple times a year for $10 and $20-patrons.  But I said wow, let…when was the first Fearless Flyer episode we ever did?  This is it, and I figured hey, let’s pull this one out of the vault.  Let’s put it out where everybody can enjoy it.  So, I hope you do.  It’s a journey into the past to Trader Joe’s years past with this Fearless Flyer episode, and we’ll be back in a few nights with a brand-new episode.  Thanks everybody, and goodnight.  That’s it; let’s get on with the show.

 

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, it’s time for the podcaster that today I’m so grateful for that moon…moon mode on iPhones.  I think it’s Do Not Disturb, because I got so many e-mails last night from a website downtime monitor that I…but I didn’t care ‘cause I…they didn’t come…so, it’s time for Sleep With Me, the…what did I call it?  The moon mode of podcasts.  Are you up all night tossing, turning…it has a nice ring to it; moon mode.  I’m about to…hold on, I’ll be right back; I’m gonna slip into moon mode.  It’s me; I’m already in…I just realized I’m…meaning moon mode meant something different.  As soon as I left the mic, I realized there’s…I think probably…when is moon mode the most funny when you’re a kid?  Fifth grade?  Seventh grade?  A whole ‘nother meaning of moon mode.

 

But it…I am in moon…the other moon…it’s time for…if…are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  I can’t get out of…now I have a moon mode distraction.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m gonna do is create a safe place where you can set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thinking, thoughts, thinking thoughts, contemplations, other thing…other…mental…brain stuff, mental activity, mental acuity.  That probably does not go with bedtime.  Actuarying…what is it when you…is…actuary is a noun.  What is a actuary?  What is the verb version of actuary?  Is it like accounting or notarizing?

 

Is a notary public…?  Those aren’t the same thing.  I hope they’re close.  If we lived in a Western town, would they share an office, an actuary and a notary public?  Sorry, I’m in moon mode.  What I’m gonna do is create a safe place where you can set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, feelings, people…circuitous logic, snoring animals or partners, buzzing phones.  Do yourself a favor; put yourself on…put that moon mode on, and…because actually, it shuts off if you call…if the same number calls you twice, ‘cause that also happened to me this morning.  ‘Cause what happened was I was like, I don’t want to look at my phone to see if the website was up and down all night.  When you’re listening to this, this will be like three or four weeks after this website crisis.

 

But I said I don’t want to look at…and then I must have jumped out of bed either to let the dog out or to use the restroom myself, or maybe both of us, and also to get…I like to try to do all three of those things while my…or two of those while my coffee…the last cup of coffee from yesterday, I put it in the microwave for one minute and thirty seconds.  Then ideally, as my dog…’cause it’s cold right now, she’ll come sprinting back inside.  I’ll be washing my hands at the kitchen sink and then I’ll grab my cup of coffee and debate getting back into bed or not.  But this morning, all that did occur, but then I got back in bed to just…and then I couldn’t find my phone.  I wasn’t supposed to be using it anyway ‘cause I had other stuff I wanted to get done before I started wasting time on the internet.

 

But then I re…I said well, let me do a little time-wasting.  This kind…does this sound familiar even at bedtime?  Let me…help me just waste…let me just check a few things.  I gotta see what’s going…just…and then I couldn’t find it, so then I retraced my steps; couldn’t find it.  So, then I did aw, shucks.  I said aw shucks, universe, you’re really playing with me this morning.  Then I tried to get myself to do what I was procrastinating, which is stretching, stretching or meditating.  I said I’ll do those things after I get a little…you know, I need a little dopamine first, universe.  Then I looked for my phone again.  I said well, maybe…I was in such a hurry to get the dog out and to pee that I dropped my phone.  Couldn’t find it.  So, then I have something set up with the woman that lives in my speaker whose name starts with an A, and there’s a IFTT thingamajig.

 

These aren’t the technical terms, but it’s a wonderful thing.  You could set it up and you say hey, speaker lady friend, could you call my phone?  She’ll call your phone.  I said that and then I got…I knew my phone was on vibrate but I forgot the moon mode was on, so then I got quiet and I didn’t hear anything.  Then I said oh, the moon mode’s on.  I’m never…now I’ll never find my phone, ‘cause I already…I was ready to give up so early in the quest, the call to adventure, the call to be distracting myself on the internet.  I guess that’s the call from adventure.  But so, I said oh wait, let’s check out the moon mode.  Let’s see the limitations of this moon mode.  Do not disturb, right?  I think they say if someone calls you twice, like they need to get ahold of you, it’ll turn on a second time.

 

So, I said woman that lives in my speaker, please call my phone again.  I don’t think I said again.  She called it and then this is…if you were there…if you were there with me, it’d be embarrassing.  It was literally on my pillow.  It just started buzzing right under my pillow, just inches…not even inches; centimeters, millimeters from where I sat, where I was ready to abandon my quest for distraction.  Then one, I realized okay, this moon mode really does work.  It gave me even further confidence in the moon mode, how well that…designed is.  I said well jeez, if a random phone number that my speaker uses to call an IFTT protocol which uses I think Google Voice to call my phone can get through after the second attempt, then I’m confident in this moon mode.  Also, then I went right to my couch and started writing.

 

I think I was shaken to my…I think my distraction needed past.  So then I just sat down and started writing.  No, the ex…well, I didn’t…maybe I did meditate.  Maybe first I said to the person…I said could you just set a timer for five minutes?  I think I did do that.  Let’s say I did, and then I sat and breathed for five minutes.  Then I got my writing done.  What were…what was my point?  Welcome to Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  If that level of excitement will keep you awake, then I don’t know if this podcast is for you, because that’s like just a day in the life.  You know, day in the life of…okay, don’t fill in that Mad Lib or whatever.  That’s the kind of wild stuff we have around here.  Moon mode; the…this is the only time…I mean, ‘cause if you’re lying in bed, that can…the reverse of all that can happen, you know?

 

Or the same thing, when you don’t want to be debating, you don’t want to be actualizing or whatever those other words I used earlier.  Ideally you’re not using your phone, though you may be craving it and I think that’s a perfectly natural craving or desire.  As I just went through, you say well, let’s just…let me check.  I know it’s not good for me to check on there right now, ‘cause I get lost in there.  ‘Cause you go…but so…but this…so, this podcast is meant to distract you ‘cause I guess that’s really what happened.  Let’s see if we could retrace…what were the positives about that experience other than the…all the layers of technology?  You say Scoots, there’s your problem.  Go live in a cabin.  I would say if you…I already have the makeup of a person that…I’m close enough to a cabin-bound person.

 

But so, I think all of the hullabaloo around my missing phone was a distraction.  Unintentional, but this podcast is full of intentional distractions.  What I’m gonna do is use these creaky, dulcet tones.  I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.  Tonight we’ll just do a little story and we’ll run through some stuff here, but basically it’s a podcast to put you to sleep.  You don’t have to take me seriously.  That should be clear.  You don’t have to pay close attention, ‘cause ideally every ten episodes I like to say this will be what the water cooler or the breakfast table experience might be for a typical podcast user, a typical Sleep With Me podcast user, whether you’re in a relationship or someone else at work listens.  You get to breakfast; you say jeez, what…did Scoots…what was up with that…?

 

Did he lose a piece of foam, did he say?  I don’t know, dear.  I think he lost his slipper phone, he said, and he was talking…I think he calls his slipper Moon Moan or something like that.  Did he say he calls his…?  Did he…does he have one of those cheerleading megaphones?  Is that what he uses to make the podcast?  Maybe that is what he said, that he was…may…I think he keeps one of those by his bed, a cheerleading megaphone or whatever they’re called.  He had lost that.  I don’t know how you’d lose a cheer phone.  He calls that his Moon Phone.  I think what he does is he yells at the moon before he goes to bed.  Through the cheerleading phone?  Yeah.  That’s Scooter, huh?  Yep, that’s…that pod…maybe he’s…do you think he stares at the moon through that thing, too?  Probably, probably.

 

He probably argues with the moon, though.  I can see that.  Oh yeah, that Scooter.  Anyway, you look great because you’re so rest…oh, so do you.  So rested.  Let’s have these…whatever, kale smoothies or Cinnamon Toast Crunch or whatever you would choose.  So, that would be a breakfast conversation about the podcast.  If you’re new here, I appreciate you stopping by.  I know if you’re skeptical, this is a strange thing.  I’m a strange man.  I’d like to earn your trust, and the only way I can do it is if you give the show a few tries.  If you think the podcast is definitely not for you, I’m sorry for using up fifteen minutes of your time.  But ideally, I’d like to say you’re welcome here, to all my friends beyond the binary, to everybody.  This is…what I’m trying to create is a safe place that can work for whoever it can work for, to take away all that tossing and turning.  So, I appreciate your time, and thanks so much for stopping by.  I really hope and I really yearn to help you fall asleep, alright?

 

Okay, hey everybody.  So, tonight’s episode…I was…I thought of this idea recently and I know a lot of people are big fans of the…what do they call it?  The Real-Time Recipe episodes.  Now, this won't be a Real-Time Recipe episode, but we’ll kinda talk about some stuff around it, because…and I’ll explain what Trader Joe’s is for…did I talk about…?  Oh no, I didn’t.  I’m already distracted.  So, if you’re new here, a Real-Time Recipe episode is where I make a recipe in real-time, essentially, with a few things powered by the magic of podcasting.  But I usually take the listeners for a trip to Trader Joe’s where I do most of my grocery shopping.  I guess you could say I’m mildly…I don’t think I’m obsessed with Trader Joe’s, but I’m a big…I like shopping there.  I think their prices are pretty good based on the price of coffee.

 

That’s the only thing I really base my…I say well, that’s a pretty good price.  The ground French roast, it’s $5.99.  I say well, you can’t beat that, as far as I know.  They tend to have…anyway, I don’t want to…so…oh, what is Trader Joe’s?  So, Trader Joe's is…let’s see.  This isn’t based on facts, so hold…hold your horses.  Trader Joe's is a chain of grocery stores — so far I think I’m correct — in the western United States.  Again, I don’t know how widespread they are.  Most of what they sell are their own brands, so Trader Joe's-branded stuff.  So, almost like a generic store.  You know, though a few things are different or branded.  So, I guess I’m not very good at making a delineation there.

 

It tends to be quirky and it’s a smaller selection than a big grocery store, like a full-fledged grocery store like Safeway in the west or Wegmans or Publix or Tops.  I’m trying to…Pathmark; those are the big ones.  So, Trader Joe's is a little bit smaller and they tend to be busier.  They don’t…they might not have every…it’s smaller so they don’t have everything you’d have at a grocery store, but mostly everything.  I don’t know, I just tend to like it.  I did try to get them to sponsor the show, mostly by listener participation, and they said they don’t do any marketing and also, if you don’t listen to this podcast, people will think…they say what?  Say what?  That sounds great.  I’m glad you can sleep.  I think that’s usually their…and they don’t say it like that, though.

 

That was my own spin, but they say oh, that’s great that you can fall asleep, but we don’t market on podcasts.  Not a huge deal; I still love Trader Joe's.  I’d love it if they start sponsoring podcasts in general.  I think the markets are pretty closely aligned.  But this is not a piece of marketing; this is my…but it’s based on Trader Joe's marketing and my experience, and maybe if you’re listening with a critical eye, you might say well, marketing really works well on you, Scoots.  I’d say well, great.  But Trader Joe's is…Trader Joe's is…Trader Joe’s; their main piece of marketing is this thing called the Fearless Flyer which you get in your mailbox.  You can get it at the store.  It’s printed on newsprint and it’s basically like a flyer.  I think they probably put it out five, six, seven times a year with all the seasonal items they have.

 

Whoever writes it does a really good job.  Also says, I think, that it’s All Rights Reserved or something on the back of it.  So, I will be paraphrasing from it.  But I thought we’d take a journey through the Trader Joe's Fearless Flyer for the holiday season that just passed, ‘cause I’m a huge peppermint fan.  Also, as you’ll see, I tend to…well, you’ll see when certain products come up.  So, I figure I’ll run through…I don’t think I’ll read everything, but if I…if there’s products I’ve tested, I’ll give a little review and if I have personal stories, that’s…yeah, so this is the 2016 Fearless Flyer for the end of the year.  On the front page there’s three things, two of which I have not tried.  One is the rainbow of honey.  They say there’s a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.  What if it’s a rainbow of honey?

 

Six different honeys in different hues, each from a distinct floral source.  I did not…I don’t…maybe I saw this.  Let’s see how much it costs.  $9.99.  It comes in little jars.  So, this would be a…that would have been a good door…what do you call those when you go to somebody’s house?  A door gift.  I always feel bad about giving some of…someone something from Trader Joe's.  But I didn’t try that…I inconsistently consume honey.  That’s one reason.  Another reason is I probably don’t want different honeys, ‘cause I always have trouble with one thing of honey.  It gets stuck to the counter…I mean, I can’t get honey…if you want to get…I guess I got honey issues, honey.  Remember Nut & Honey?  Nut & Honey; that was an ad campaign back in the nineties, maybe.

 

Also, this…I don’t think this was on a box of Nut & Honey.  I think it might have been on Special K.  One time when I was…we were little, there was a guy on the back of the box that looked just like my dad.  It wasn’t my dad, or so my dad said, but it looked just like my dad.  If you want to know what my dad looks like, he…if you’ve seen the movie Taxi Driver, he looks like De Niro, or he did when he was that age.  He looks like…my dad looks a lot like De Niro.  My current father, he looks like Silver Linings Playbook De Niro a lot.  I said holy cow, that’s a lot like dad.  Maybe that’s just the essence of…but so, I hadn’t tried that honey.  Then there’s a [inaudible] sale, and I think a listener last year told me…I can’t remember who it was, so I’m sorry, but they said that’s terrible.  I drank it and it’s terrible.

 

But it was a [inaudible] beverage with juices and spices, and the listener said it tasted awful, so I never tasted it and I don’t think I ever will.  I don’t think…it’s just…sounds like something that might be good if you were drinking.  But since I can’t drink alcohol…cinnamon mixed with apple, lemon, and orange.  That just doesn’t sound tasty to me.  So, that one’s out.  Then the third one, which is a peppermint chocolate bar; I did buy this.  $2.99 for one bar.  $4.25…and I still have half of it in my fridge.  This was this year; I think this is a new item.  It’s dark chocolate infused with peppermint oil.  So, already…I said well, there you go, ‘cause I don’t find…I don’t…I mean, I can eat dark chocolate, and probably the good thing for me with dark chocolate…if I was disciplined about consumption of sweets, I could…alls I can handle is a tiny little bite of it.

 

Otherwise it’s just not desserty for me.  It’s too chocolatey.  But I found the peppermint really cut into this, and then I had a little bit of candy cane goodness on there.  I just love peppermint and I do love peppermint mixed with chocolate, especially with candy…peppermint candy in there.  So, this was a good one, but not…I guess not…it was still intense; I never finished it.  It’s still in my fridge.  Ideally I’ll eat it at some point.  So, that’s the front page.  Now let’s just hop to the back page ‘cause these are the prime items that everybody’s gonna see.  First one…this one I’ve tried two out of three, and two big thumbs up.  Then the third one, very big chocolate bars.  We’re not kidding around.  Again, I guess this goes to my feelings on chocolate, but I did see these in the store; they’re Trader Joe's Commendation Bars.

 

Two kilos big, 4.4 pounds, 70 ounces.  They say big, they mean it.  They have milk chocolate and dark chocolate.  I guess you get…just something fun.  I didn’t…I like chocolate mixed with other things, but not by itself.  I don’t know.  Or like a tiny bite of chocolate.  So, that was the very big chocolate bars.  But it seems like it’d be fun…how about this; maybe next year I’ll go sledding on one of these giant chocolate bars.  Hey Trader Joe's, what do you think about that?  If you sponsor the podcast, I’ll go sledding on one of your chocolate bars, maybe.  I’ll at least say I will.  That could be fun, and that would be unique.  Chocolate gets more rigid with the cold.  I mean, I would do it in its wrapper, or we could do both.  It depends on how many episodes you want to sponsor.  But that could be fun.

 

Or maybe…but then I guess…well, fourteen bucks.  How much does the sled cost?  Also, I don’t know how big four…what the dimensions are of a four-pound bar of chocolate.  I kind of looked at it, but I don’t remember.  Okay, so the next thing on here is a Trader Joe's Triple Ginger Brew, which is gingery ginger ale.  I got two bottles of these at home.  It comes in a old-school bottle like you’d get some Northern European beers in with the pop top that kinda stays on there.  It is delicious; it’s a 750ml glass bottle with a swing-top closure at $2.99 a bottle plus tax.  Really good sharp ginger ale, so if you like ginger ale, I recommend it.  Like I said, I got two bottles.  I think $2.99, that’s for…is a little spendy, but the bottle’s real nice.  It’s good for the holidays.

 

Then if you…when we get to this next item is a winner on multiple levels.  So if they have this next year, I highly recommend picking one up early in the season, though a year from now I can’t guarantee you’ll have the same results as me.  This was something…my expectation was very low and oh boy, was my ex…I mean, my expectation…I would have rated this…I think I got my money’s worth when I bought it.  I said okay, I’ll get my money’s worth from this, but I got probably…the cost of this item was $5.99.  If I would have…I’ll explain it.  I don’t know if I got $10 of value out of it.  I probably did.  When you look at…if you value experience and joy, you probably got $20 or $30 out of this one.  That is the ugly sweater gingerbread kit.  Trader Joe's Ugly Sweater Cookie Kit; that’s what it is.  It’s not gingerbread.

 

In each box, there’s ten premade cookies — which right there, that should be a warning sign, of course — in five different sweater shapes.  Then there’s a couple…there’s five of vanilla and five chocolate, then there’s three things of icing in their own bags with their own decorating tips, and then a bunch of different kinds of sprinkles.  I had bought this kind of on a whim because…and impulse; this was an impulse buy.  I said well, maybe Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, if there’s gonna be…depending on where I’m going and the youth situation or the gaming…gameability of adults, I’ll bring this or if me and my daughter want to make them one night, we’ll do that.  But I’m not really good at decorating cookies.  I can bake cookies.

 

But so, come Christmas Eve, I believe it was; I went over…went somewhere and there was two of…I don’t know what the modern…but then Christmas Eve I went somewhere, and two of my nieces that are in…one’s in high school and one’s in college were there with my daughter.  We had some downtime; I said why don’t you do…I said to my daughter, why don’t you see if your cousins want to make these ugly sweater cookies?  They proceeded to do a wonderful job as far as making ugly sweaters, and it seemed like they enjoyed it.  The sweaters looked really good.  It was fun because I got to participate by test…making sure the sprinkles tasted good, and also to…you have to warm up the frosting by friction, by squeezing the packet, and I did that.  I did good at that.

 

So, right there, any of those things I would have been very happy.  $5.99…I would have said $10…I got $10 worth of use out of this thing.  But then I ate myself one of these cookies, and I gotta tell you, I had a vanilla one; I don’t know if I had a chocolate one.  I had more than one vanilla one, let me tell you.  They weren’t rock-hard.  So, these were cookies that had been boxed for I don’t even know how long, and it wasn’t as soft as a sugar cookie, but it was just the right mouthfeel that you’d want in a premade Christmas cookie or any kind of premade cookie.  Then it had the frosting and the sprinkles.  Now, the frosting, I believe…and you’re gonna say this sounds as wacky as you do, Scoots, but I think I can taste the dyes in a lot of these things, and it just is just a tiny off flavor.

 

So, the frosting was good and it was a really good consistency too, and the fact…I’m used to tasting dye in cookies or whatever, frosting, so it didn’t really take anything too away from it.  Then they had the nice…the sprinkles they had were really good.  The frosting job that the decorators did was amazing.  Then I had another one for breakfast the next day, or…yeah, I guess a breakfasty time.  I think I probably had two-and-a-half, maybe three all told.  So, that was a really knock out of the park.  So, those are the first two pages, then I’m gonna dig into the inside of the Fearless Flyer now.  Okay, this next one in the first page on the inside is…it’s like a cookie kit in a mason jar.  I saw those in the store, and that one…I guess buying premade cookies doesn’t make me feel guilty, but buying premade cookie kits does.

 

So, I didn’t buy that.  If I see it on sale maybe I would, but I say well, it’s just so hypocritical.  I say, that’s lazy as opposed to buying store-bought cookie decorating kits.  But yeah, if we can’t live in hypocrisy, where could we live?  Next up is Jingle Jangle Ice Cream.  I did not try this.  I don’t know if I have.  I think one of the reasons is it doesn’t have peppermint.  I say if I’m gonna get a holiday ice cream, I want it to have peppermint in there.  I think that was just a easy decision.  Also, I have ice cream in my fridge or freezer that I haven’t had.  Okay, now this one…this is a mouthful, even the thing; salty honey toffee milk chocolate-covered crackers.  I think this was one…I don’t know if this one caught fire.  I could see that they thought it might.

 

So basically it’s a saltine cracker dipped in chocolate with honey…like a Ferrero Rocher-type toffee on there, and…but the thing was, in the package, it didn’t look any…it almost looked like a chocolate-dipped graham cracker square.  I guess this is a crit…I mean, this is a run-through.  There wasn’t enough salt and it was a really intense dark chocolate, and maybe not enough toffee.  Almost like there was more…it took…there wasn’t enough cracker to say…when you have a chocolate-covered pretzel and they do it right, that’s an experience.  You say wow, this is perfect.  This is the perfect mix of a salty pretzel with the, whatever, chocolatey coating.  This one wasn’t quite there, so maybe next year, Trader Joe's.  I mean, I did buy it, I did share it with some people ‘cause I said this is a unique thing to try.

 

Let’s see, they’re Kosher-certified, so that’s nice.  I don’t know.  I think it was fun to share, and I shared it with people that really like dark chocolate.  Hopefully this is the right thing.  I think so.  But yeah, I guess I would say a little more salt and toffee.  Okay, so that’s that one.  I think on this page…oh, let’s see if I’ve tried anything.  Sticky toffee pudding…I may have tried that before and it’s good à la mode, but not recently, so I can’t say.  I mean, I’m almost positive I have tried that, and it’s really good à la mode but not…I wouldn’t say so good you have to buy it.  $4.49.  I’d say if you’re cooking dinner for someone like a date or a rekindling-type date and you make it and you plate it nice and then do it with a nice ice cream, it’d probably be good.  But I don’t know.  I guess I say well, it’s not bad.  It didn’t blow my mind.

 

Some of these other things have blown my mind.  Okay, this next one; chocolate cherry danish.  I’ve never seen that.  Probably wouldn’t have got it unless…I love cherry danish, but chocolate…you know.  So, I didn’t try that.  Crunchy truffle trio…I think that has alcohol in it, so I didn’t try that.  Yeah, I didn’t…I don’t even…there’s so many different truffle things, and we’ll probably get into the one error I made last year.  So, that’s that.  Chocolate chip waffles; I bought these.  This goes into the…I bought two kinds of waffles for breakfast for me and my daughter for…on the weekend we have a sweet breakfast.  Normally I make something from scratch, but I said well, let’s…these chocolate chip waffles; she loves chocolate, she loves chocolate chips.

 

I’ll get her chocolate chip waffles, I’ll get myself the Belgian waffles, and we’ll have waffles ado or something.  Even my daughter said these were too chocolatey; the combination of the chocolate waffle with the chocolate chips…she said that’s too chocolatey.  So for this one, I don’t know…they’ll have to be repurposed probably as a ice cream sandwich with vanilla.  That’s the only solution I could think of, ‘cause…or maybe I guess a dessert.  I’m just thinking on the fly now because they’re not gonna fly for breakfast.  If a nine-year-old won't eat you and she says you’re too chocolatey, sorry, chocolate chip waffles.  But she was very impressed with the Belgian waffles.  Let’s see, brie stuffed with garlic and herbs.  I didn’t try that, but I’m sure it’s good.

 

Canadian cheddar aged five years; I think that you could use that for that beer cheddar soup recipe I made a couple years ago.  That should be in the feed somewhere.  Maybe that’s from last year.  Then a grand blue cheese.  We had a couple blue cheeses Christmas Eve and…I don’t know.  So, I didn’t try that.  Then phylio dough…phyllo dough…how do you say that?  But I think I did buy this last year, and I think I get…I got my doughs confused and I bought it for the wrong thing, and…so I was annoyed.  Then the other thing with Trader Joe's and this kind of item is like, it’s not always in stock.  It’s seasonal.  So, phyllo…filio…phyllo…phyllo…not phyllo.  Oh, they said for the record, it’s phyllo, not phyllo.  Oh boy, Trader Joe's, you just lost…I hope you didn’t lose any customers there.

 

So, I guess they don’t have anything…let’s see, double cream brie with truffles.  No, I didn’t try that.  Roasted garlic and onion jam…I like how that sounds; onion jam, but I don’t have a thing…a cracker assortment…I wasn’t in charge of crackers.  Trader Joe's has a lot of crackers.  Someone might have brought this…oh, Christmas Eve, ‘cause that’s what we had, I think, ‘cause we had all these.  Original and cracked pepper poppy seed water crackers, and vegetable and wheat entertainer crackers.  That’s what we had Christmas Eve, but I didn’t bring them.  So I’m not the only one who shops at Trader Joe's, so…and that’s a good one if you’re having four different kinds of crackers.  Let’s see, the next page is more cheese; a Gouda, a French pavés, some salami trio, so these are all…nuts and fruits and honey…so those are all appetizer things.

 

I guess I would probably…if I buy any stuff like this, I would just bring it and I would forget what I brought, so I can’t give any definite things on these.  Great Big Gouda, though; that’s a good name for a cheese.  Then on this page; pistachio and pomegranate crisps.  I saw those but I haven’t tried those.  Lemon ricotta…no.  They say it represents a blurry line, I guess, ‘cause yeah, what are you gonna use it for?  But that…a Greek olive…stuffed triumvirate.  That would be good for having olives for people to pop in their mouths, but I didn’t see that.  It even gives you a tip; deliver the jars a host or a hostess gift when you’re invited to a shindig at a foodie’s friend place or present it in a basket of tasty treats.

 

I love Greek olives, so…and this one I have tried; Trader Joe's fondue, and they have a couple different ones of the Swiss elemental cheese or however you say it mixed with…you know, those different cheeses.  We had…my daughter and I, we had it for dinner one night with broccoli and bread.  I think that’s what I made.  Did I have any meat?  I think just a couple good pieces of bread that I toasted in the oven.  She didn’t…she liked the cheese.  It was a little bit risky ‘cause it’s some intense-tasting cheese.  But you know, it worked.  So, that was a hit, but that was a couple weeks ago.  We had…I think it was right around when I was prepping for Thanksgiving, because we had dark pumpernickel or dark rye, and then a…what do you call that other one?  Sourdough.  So, that’s a good weeknight meal.

 

Here’s some premade appetizers; bacon-wrapped dates with goat cheese.  I don’t eat goat cheese.  You may have heard…and goat…I can taste the goat, and I’m not…this isn’t anything against goats and goats’ milk and goat cheese.  I just can taste the goat in there, and I don’t know if that’s from…you say, can you taste the cow?  I said I can’t.  I can taste the goat, but I can’t taste the cow.  So, I don’t know.  I drank a lot of cow’s milk as a child, so I don’t know.  But I just find goat stuff to be a little gamey or a little goaty.  So, that would be the downside of that.  Bacon-wrapped dates sound pretty good.  Cocktail pups; got those.  I have them in the freezer right now.

 

Then we’ll probably wrap…one night when I’m desperate for dinner, what I will do is those…like Pillsbury…I think Trader Joe's has their own version of those croissants.  You take the…or flaky…they call it flaky layers.  I don’t know what they make…you make your own dinner rolls; you wrap the hot dog in that.  Then your kid will eat them most of the time, or you give them for lunch the next day.  So, I have those in my freezer.  Did that last year.  Mini brie en croute.  C-R-O-U-T-E.  What does that mean?  Comes out near the top of…close…what is it?  Bite-sized portion…oh, in a puff pastry.  Oh boy, that sounds good.  We did have baked brie on one Christmas day, I think.  Someone made it and they…but they made it from their own…they made their own puff.

 

They baked…they made their own dough, or maybe they used premade pie dough, but it was good.  Then when I was in the Czech Republic, I liked to eat a lot of smazeny syr, which is fried cheese.  That was delicious.  Deep-fried cheese or fried cheese.  Smazeny syr.  I think that’s close.  Then they have some more…they have a lot of appetizers.  Pistachios, scallops wrapped in bacon.  I don’t know.  I can’t buy scallops in a…the only time I’ll have scallops is at a restaurant.  I don’t think I’ve had scallops in a long time, but it seems like they gotta be…and then they have premade cocktail stirrers with the gherkin…there’s some handy…chilli pepper red bill…that’s a good idea to save time.  Those come in a jar.  I can’t have that, but if you want to do that for something, that’s a cool idea.  Holiday ham…I’m not a big ham fan, either.

 

Wow, it’s really getting to know me.  I don’t know, I’ve…ham’s a little dry for me and a little salty.  I don’t know.  I remember when we would get ham as a kid, it would probably be…Easter ham, I think, would be the big deal.  I think that was it.  I said well, I don’t need any more ham in my life after that.  I’ve had the honey-baked ham, I think, or some other ham at different people’s houses.  It doesn’t do it for me.  Also one time when I was in England, I thought I was ordering a steak, but I ordered a ham steak.  I’m afraid of serving staff, waiters and waitresses, so I didn’t ask ‘cause it was grilled and they just brought me a grilled piece of ham and I was expecting…so that was…you live and you learn.  So, that’s out.  Fresh-cut pineapple rings.  You can’t go wrong with that.  Huh, I’ll have to…oh, ‘cause you get them with ham.

 

Or, you know, but…$3.50 for fourteen ounces.  I’d have to look at that.  That sounds a little pricey.  They have tamales…now, they have these all year long, and actually sometimes I’ll buy them.  They have a chicken and green chilli and then a pork and red sauce, and then a vegetarian with cheese and green salsa.  I do like the pork and red sauce tamales from here.  Now, they’re not gonna be legit tamales your [inaudible] is making.  But if you’re in…desperate for lunch, these are great because…just let me give you a little…my little tip; they come in…I think they come six to a package.  Let me see…yeah, six for $6.99.  Two of those make a nice lunch, and because they’re tamales…so, they’re in corn husks.  What I do is when I get the package home, I open it up and then I put two each in a container.

 

I put four of them in the freezer if it’s close to the week, you know, or I’ll put them all in the freezer, but two, two, and two.  Then I’ll have them for lunch.  If they’re frozen, you just put them in your bag and then they thaw by lunchtime.  You can really…they’re really easy to heat up because of the corn husk.  They come out of the microwave nice.  So, that’s an…that’s a good lunch.  Especially if they’re in the freezer and you say, I got nothing for lunch…for me, it’s usually ramen.  Believe it or not, last week I ran out of ramen.  Then again this Tuesday, I forgot…I said I have nothing for lunch.  Then I say okay, I gotta stop on the way to work, and then I never remember.  Stuffed lobster; I’m allergic to…what do you call those?  Shellfish, so I can’t have that.  Holiday la orange…those are navel oranges.  I don’t know.

 

How did orange…how do oranges and the holidays…?  I like oranges with cloves.  Anybody do that?  We used to do that.  My mom would do it and I think she was…taught me that.  You take a orange and then you take cloves and you stick it in the orange and it smells good.  Smells like holidays.  So, there you go.  Holiday fruit spread; I didn’t have this.  We did have…someone made their own apple chutney apple sauce, but then that was good.  So, a fruit spread is probably good, too.  Then this one I did have; uncured bacon-wrapped porchetta pork roast.  It’s $6.99 a pound, and you roast it.  I forget how long, and what I did…you roast it for…I don’t know if you roast it for a few hours or what.

 

But you…if you take it and then you put…you can buy a bag of small potatoes or fingerling potatoes at Trader Joe's and then some carrots and maybe a onion that’s quartered, and then you put all that down.  Then you put the pork roast on top of it, however you’re…you do your roasting normally.  You got yourself a dinner right there, and you just stick it in the oven.  It comes…my daughter liked that very much, too.  She said dad, this meat is good.  Then you have everything; you have your starch, you have your vegetable, for the adults you have some onion to add a little flavor.  You could have a salad first and Trader Joe's makes…they have bagged salads where they have everything to assemble your own salad.  Okay, this is all wine and stuff, so I can’t even look at that.

 

Another page of wine…okay, here we go onto the next thing.  Okay, here’s chocolate mint black tea.  I bought this; I haven’t drank it yet, so I don’t know how it is, but I did buy it.  It sounded like a interesting idea, chocolate mint black tea, though I still have the holiday tea from last year.  I’ve only had part of that holiday tea, so we’ll see how long…tea lasts forever, right?  Then there’s this thing called blackberry spritzer.  I thought about buying this, but I never did.  It’s packs of juice of seventeen blackberries and a hint of lemon juice into a 750ml bottle.  It looks interesting.  Usually I just buy the sparkling apple juice instead ‘cause they’re right next to each other.  ‘Cause I say well, I’m not gonna buy two bottles of this blackberry spritzer and if it’s good, then it won't be enough and I’ll be disappointed, and if it’s terrible, then I’ll be disappointed.

 

So, though I have bought…my goal…I didn’t pull this off because I brought some of these for the holiday for Christmas and Christmas…I did…my goal was to buy enough…what do they call that?  Sparkling grapefruit…grape juice so that me and my daughter could celebrate every month.  Like, we’d drink a bottle of that.  On Friday night we pop the cork.  Luckily my daughter doesn’t listen to this podcast, but I think I have…I brought three and then I felt bad.  We didn’t drink them at dinner.  That’s always an awkward thing when you go to someone’s house, and I…and then the…what you brought doesn’t get used.  I said well, I mean, that’s really cool; it has the foil and the cork pops and it’s very visceral for a kid because they can’t drink.  It’s cool to be able to drink out of a champagne bottle even though it’s only grape juice.

 

We can pretend we just won the World Series or the NBA Championship, but I didn’t have…I couldn’t put the words to say we didn’t drink that grapefruit juice; do you mind if I take it with me?  The worst is if you get caught by your host taking stuff back, you know?  I guess they probably wouldn’t say anything.  They’d just look at you with sad eyes.  But I didn’t even do that.  Most of the stuff that I brought…I was in charge of sparkling beverages this year anyway.  Most of other stuff I brought…like, I drank, so just not that.  But I still have more at home.  Then there’s a cinnamon roll wreath.  I didn’t see this; I probably would have bought it.  A wreath of cinnamon rolls.  Oh no; it’s in the freezer.  That’s why.  I’ll have to look.  I don’t know, cinnamon rolls are another tough commodity.

 

Like, the ones that come in the tube are always terrible, though I buy them once every four or five months.  They’re in the tube with the dinner rolls and they come with their own frosting, but there’s something chemical about them that I don’t like.  So, I don’t know if a frozen one…oh, it does have a proofing process.  I might have to pick these up if they…still available.  So, I guess that one’s pending.  Then there’s another tea, which I bought because they said it sells out; candy cane green tea.  Decaf, delish, desired.  They said they’ve had it since 2009.  I never heard of it before this year, but I bought one thing.  I did tell myself…it was out of stock the first time.  I went there after reading this and I said oh boy, I missed the…I didn’t say oh boy; I said darn, I missed the candy cane green tea.  I really blew it and missed that rush.

 

But then it was there the next time, but then I had to say don’t buy two.  Please, Drew.  Just buy one.  I said well, we gotta stock up.  It’s gonna sell out.  Then I said just buy one, please.  We still have the tea from last year and we have the autumnal tea still in there.  Also, there’s tea in the freezer from the time you were at that mall.  I said you’re right, you’re right.  I’m doing good on the listeners’ tea, but…yeah.  Okay, I’ll only buy one.  So, I have that, I just haven’t opened it yet.  That sounds cool; candy cane green tea.  What does it say?  What’s so special about this tea?  It’s a really delicious mix of decaffeinated green tea blended with vanilla bean, cinnamon…wait a second, and peppermint?  Okay, we’ll see, I guess, about this tea.  This one has sold out this year; peppermint hot chocolate.

 

Believe it or not, I gotta give this one a big F, and it pains me to do so.  I bought it two years ago and I wouldn’t buy it again because one, it’s…there’s not a lot in there.  It comes with the tin, but then there’s a plastic bag in the tin and then by the time you get…it’s…say, if you give me a tin, just put the frickin’ powder in there.  I can’t get powder out of a bag back into a tin without making a huge mess.  But they don’t…they say well, we got standards and stuff.  Then…I don’t know, it didn’t give…it said well, just…spoon recipe I think was unspecific, so it said well, just spoon as much as you like; between one and four.  I said well, just the frickin’ bags of hot cocoa that we’ve…for the last thirty years is the agreement on how to consume hot cocoa.  Now you want me to just spoon whatever I feel like it?  What the heck?

 

Then the final blow was that it just wasn’t pepperminty enough.  I said well, how much…I kept having to add more to get my desired peppermint level.  You can blame these coffee places for that, because they really do a good job of pepperminting the heck out of what they make.  Okay, there’s…the next thing will be another embarrassing thing, but…so, we’ll go to that one last.  Wintery blend coffee; that was pretty good.  I just drink it and the Trader Joe's, but it’s probably good in a little shot glass.  I don’t know if I could drink it every morning, but it has spices and stuff.  I didn’t see this one; chocolate peppermint almond beverage.  That sounds good too, but…32 ounces for $1.79.

 

But it would depend on how pepperminty it is and then how much sugar it’s…like, if it’s gonna be the same amount of sugar as soda, I might as well have soda.  Then speaking of health issues, nog for your noggin; $2.99 a quart at Trader Joe's.  They have light egg nog and regular egg nog.  As any physician will tell you, I’ve drank a lot of egg nog this season.  I’ve been drinking it since…before Halloween when the stores started stocking it.  I’m not trying to be funny; I’ve drank an obscene amount of egg nog.  Obscene this year.  You say, how obscene, Scoots?  I’d say probably ten gallons.  I would estimate ten gallons of egg nog.  Okay, so stop laughing; I’m serious.  Maybe a half-gallon of it…maybe three-quarters, maybe even a gallon was light egg nog.  The rest was full force.  I never drank egg nog when I drank alcohol.

 

I think I’ve talked about this, just because it just seemed like a…well, it seemed like it would just take up too much space in your stomach and I wanted to drink other stuff that was more…said I’ll get around to drinking the egg nog, but I never did.  Then I said I don’t even know if I like it.  But then it’s…now that I can’t drink alcohol, this is something like a forbidden fruit.  Of course I overdo it.  Probably next year I’ll never drink egg nog again, but this year I’ve just been drinking it like it’s a little milkshake.  Every night I have egg nog and I pretend it’s a milkshake.  I have found there’s a lot of variety in taste, and I have yet to make my own egg nog.  I will someday, but the Trader Joe's one’s pretty good.  The light one I wouldn’t…if you’re gonna drink it, you might as well drink the full poison, full-strength nog.

 

You might say Scoots, what other nogs have you tried?  I’d say well, let me see if I can remember.  Great question.  I did the one from…what is it called?  It’s not Albertsons anymore or Raley’s…whatever that egg nog is called.  Sunnyside; maybe that’s what that’s called, or maybe that’s what Trader…or Safeway’s egg nog, I’ve tried that one.  Then I tried some gourmet ones, and the way I determine the gourmet versus the regular is the price.  Regular store half-gallon is about $2.99, and then the gourmet brands are $4.99.  I’ll be honest; egg nog is so overpowering and intense and bad for you anyway and sugary…it’s nice…well, I guess I didn’t think I’d go on a egg nog tangent, especially at this time of year when you really don’t need it, but why make a sleep podcast?

 

So, it is nice to have two of them because then you could do a egg nog tasting, but by nothing…by yourself in your kitchen.  I don’t have any cats, so I guess that’s a upside, though I do have Koa.  She’s pretty much like a cat.  I’m trying to figure how to…but so, I don’t know if it’s worth the investment.  It wasn’t…I tried a couple different ones, and you can tell the taste difference, and you can tell the difference, believe it or not, between the sugars and the high fructose and that.  But there wasn’t any one egg nog…’cause that was the…they’re not all the same.  I guess I can say that, but there wasn’t one where I was like oh boy…I mean, at this point I’ve had so much that I probably am just like ugh, please, Drew, don’t buy any more.  I said well, we’ll see when we go to the store if they still have it.  But I’ve consumed a lot of nog.

 

As I said, at least six gallons I can confidently say.  No, more; ten…one, two…yeah, probably ten gallons.  Maybe even…probably more.  I would hope…yeah, I guess a gallon…let’s see, November…eight…a gallon a week.  Yeah.  So, that’s some…that’ll be…2017 will be the nog…I’ll be…go nog-free and then I’ll get a cholesterol test in March once that nog gets out of my system.  Okay, we gotta kick it up.  Okay, cocoa-grazed almonds…glazed almonds.  I didn’t try that.  Cinnamon star cookies; I bought these but I haven’t tried them yet.  They’re a bit firmer than their cousins, with a pronounced cinnamon flavor and a subtle hint of lemon.  I probably will try those at some point.  Those are sealed, so hopefully…I didn’t check the date.  Gold coins; I didn’t buy those.

 

Double dark chocolate gingerbread caramel cookie bar; I didn’t buy that ‘cause the dark chocolate.  Here’s ten outta ten; butter cookie wreaths.  I ate…I’ve eaten two tubs of these and I have one more left.  This is a ten outta ten.  It’s butter cookies.  They’re not fancy cookies; they’re delicious cookies.  They’re also cute cookies, according to Trader Joe's, ‘cause they have that…they’re wreath-shaped and they’re the ones people make, and they have the crunchy red and green sprinkles on there.  They’re delicious; that’s all I need to say.  Those are great.  Artisan-crafted English toffee.  I didn’t buy that ‘cause usually someone always gets Almond Rocha, so you can just eat a little bit of theirs.  Jingle Jangle…I didn’t…this has too many things in there.  It’s a tin with pretzels and pop…too many things.

 

I don’t know, I…I don’t find…once you get into…yeah, and there’s a lot of dark chocolate.  Then this one, chocolate marbles; now this year…these are $4.99.  I still have a box-and-a-half of these from last year.  They’re two half-circles of chocolate filled with different flavors, and I don’t know why I bought…I bought these last year.  I don’t know why I bought two, ‘cause I still haven’t…I only ate half of one box.  But the boxes they put them in last year weren’t that great.  This year they…they’re in a little bit better box, I noticed.  Then you could say I’ve lost my marbles, but I do know where my marbles are.  Well, my Trader Joe's marbles.  Gingerbread sticks; I haven’t tried those.  Eight in a bag for $2.99.

 

Then the gingerbread house kit; I did not buy one this year, but if you listened to that episode about the stuffing, I do…I did have one from 2015 and 2016, and I did bring…so, then I brought these and I told the kids that decorated the cookies; I said you could also make these gingerbread cookie houses, but you can’t eat them ‘cause one’s from 20…oh no, one’s from 2014 and one’s from 2015, ‘cause now it’s 2016.  So yeah, one was from 2014 and one was from 2015; both expired.  But still, one was still box…one I had unboxed during the recording of a podcast episode.

 

But those didn’t get put together, they got…but they did get left at one of the houses I was at, so I don’t have to deal with that shame anymore of hoarding gingerbread…’cause you can’t really throw it out, and I did say to myself one day me and my daughter in July will make a gingerbread house and it’ll be hilarious, but we never did it because my…because of me.  Okay, I gotta kick it up here.  Gingerbread cake and baking mix; I haven’t tried that, but maybe I will.  Gingerbread-flavored dog treats; Koa liked these.  They come in a 16-ounce box.  They’re hard dog treats and I did give her these last year.  I didn’t buy them this year ‘cause she has a couple other favorites of Trader Joe's dog treats.  So, I just didn’t…and they’re big, so they’re better at…it’s like giving your dog almost like a meal as a treat.

 

I like to give Koa a bunch of little treats, you know.  I say, this will make you like me better, right?  Chocolate chip pantone or panettone…these were my…I think this thing gets lumped in with food…fruitcake in my internal system, so I just never have it.  So, I don’t even know what that tastes like, regular or chocolate chip.  Chicken and salmon dog treats; these look like…it’s only five ounces for five bucks, and Koa would eat that in a few bites, so it’s a little pricey.  Oh, macaroons; I didn’t see these.  Chewy and crispy…chocolate…this is a different kind of macaroon des fetes…fetes…F-E-T-E-S.  Oh, they’re in the freezer.  Oh, I think I’ve seen these.  Maybe I just didn’t buy them.  O Tenenbaum potato snacks.  These are $1.99.

 

I did not see these this year but at my brother’s, we had lunch there…because this is a genetic thing, except my brother does it in the Halloween-Thanksgiving Trader Joe's.  I think him and his girlfriend bought all the pumpkin pie spice stuff and then they had a big dinner as a…or a lunch party where we just had every pumpkin pie spice thing for brunch.  I guess it was brunch.  Like, pumpkin spiced lunch.  There’s even a pumpkin pie spice salad, I think.  But he had had the Halloween potato crisps, and they taste like…they’re the reconstituted potatoes made into a chip.  What was it called?  Munchies were the ones they had back in the day.  They’re pretty tasty.  I think that’s what they are.  Potato crisps…yeah.  Then there’s Luboochkin…I don’t know what that is…cookies…it’s a different cookie.  I don’t think I’ve seen those.

 

Almonds and hazelnuts.  Maybe I’ll buy them if I…I’m probably gonna go to Trader Joe's tomorrow.  Cedar and basalam candle; I do…did buy this.  It smells pretty good.  It comes in a tin.  Only thing is, I’m not…it sounds so sensitive; I don’t do well around candles.  Whatever chemicals make candles smell make it hard for me to breathe.  If you burn the candle it obviously makes it hard to breathe, but just something about that…those chemicals.  But so, what my goal usually is is I have that candle above my toilet and when I go to work, I say let me remember to take the thing off and then my bathroom will smell good when I get home, and then I can put the lid back on.  But I never remember.  So, that’ll probably end up in my underwear drawer so my underwear will smell like cedar and balsam.

 

Also, that was my favorite Suave hair shampoo when I started buying my own shampoo, is balsam.  Balsam?  Balsam and something by Suave.  That was my hair shampoo.  I’ll have to pick some of that up, get back to the old…maybe I’ll get some VO5 hot oil while I’m over there.  This is so good; this episode’s going long here.  Okay, this is gifts; they had a grooming kit and a shaving kit.  Ivory pillar candles, poinsettias, skincare…none of that we really bought.  Oh boy, this isn’t a holiday one but this is one I buy a lot of.  Well, twice a year; a head to toe balm, B-A-L-M.  This is what I balm myself with.  When I talk about putting the balm on, this is the balm.  I’ll use Badger Balm around my chest if…a nighttime Badger Balm if I’m balming.  But when my arms and my legs and my back are dry, I cover it with this balm.

 

It’s formulated with high-quality gentle-on-skin ingredients like shea butter, mango, seed butter, cocoa seed butter, oat kernel, flour extract, apricot kernel, macadamia seed nut oil, and it’s pleasant, mild fragrance, orange peel, lavender, rosemary, and eucalyptus.  It’s gentle on the nose, too.  It really is a head-to-toe balm, they say, and it is.  I use it…the problem is I don’t know if it’s…my skin is so dry, but I really gotta put the balm on.  Those nights when I feel too tossy and turny…there’s a hand cream trio I haven’t tried, and amaryllis…amaryllis bulbs and wax.  I don’t know what that is.  Then there’s this white pine moisturizing soap and lotion.  My brother’s girlfriend had this and it smells great, but I just…I go through hand soap too fast, so I don’t buy it by the container like that.  Gelato-filled pantone…panettone or whatever.

 

That sounds pretty good.  I didn’t see it or buy it.  Popcorn tin; I gave that to my dad last year as a gift, the big spender I am.  But we had it one day when we were sitting around, ‘cause last year my…I had family visiting.  Caramel, cheddar, white cheddar, olive oil, and kettle.  That was a hit, except for one of them.  I don’t know which one.  Wreaths they had.  Chilli chocolate; I didn’t…I’ve never tasted that.  Mini-chocolate mint stars.  Whoa, those are mint stars?  I did not know that.  I missed those, but I guess they’re dark chocolate.  Oh, that’s probably why.  I think I had that last year.  I didn’t like it.  Here’s another one I’ve…I have two tubs of; I’ve had a half a tub of this…crispy peppermint chocolate chip cookies.

 

I bought a second tub mistakenly before I had opened my first because they said well, these got peppermint; I’m gonna love them.  I don’t dislike them, but I haven’t binged on them, so that probably is…it’s good for my health that I haven’t ate a whole tub of cookies with a giant pint glass of egg nog, but at the same time, it doesn’t exactly…it’s not a strong…if I’m not binging, then it’s not a good recommendation.  Say they’re not bad, but if…it comes in the same tub, though, as butter wreath cookies.  Just buy those; skip these.  Buy the butter wreath.  Buy two tubs.  Buy three tubs of those butter wreath cookies.  Three tubs; that’s when you’ll get burned out.

 

That’s the end of the Fearless Flyer, but I have one more…two more products I want to talk about because they’re still in my cupboard from the past holiday season.  One is the dark chocolate-covered peppermint Jojo dipped in candy canes.  So, this is a Oreo that Trader Joe's makes at that time of year, but it has peppermint filling.  Then it’s dipped in dark chocolate and peppermint chunks.  Maybe five years ago I was obsessed with these, and I burned myself out.  I think it was ‘cause one time I had it with orange juice.  You ever have chocolate and orange juice?  It’s like a huge mistake and you can’t really come back from that.  I don’t know if that really happened or that was a dream, but I still have one box in my freezer.

 

Then before I started recording, I start…I went through my cupboards and I found one in the back of my covered half…half-eaten box from probably 2014, though I do think I got one box as a gift last year from someone.  I do…those are good for planes.  If you’re gonna be traveling around the holidays, bring one of those boxes and give it to the flight attendants as a holiday gift, because it’s sealed and it’s good to have one or two.  But I think the dark…I just burned out.  I don’t think I could ever eat one of those again.  For a time, they were the greatest thing I had ever tasted in my life.  Usually this is where it goes wrong, and you’ll hear what this next product…and then…well, I’ll talk about the product and then I’ll talk about how it goes horribly wrong for me.

 

These are…I’m a big lover of white chocolate and peppermint, and this…last year they had white chocolate and peppermint-covered pretzel thins, which is a flat pretzel, like a chip…combination of a pretzel and a chip.  I think two years ago I got hooked on these, and…but I had only bought one or two bags.  I said, these are the cat’s pajamas.  Then last year I said well, I want to have one bag of these a month, so I tried to buy twelve bags over the holidays so they wouldn’t catch on and think I’m a freak.  Like, the first couple times I bought two bags so then I’d have a bag to eat and a bag to save.  At some point around April or March, I just gave up on eating those.  So, I still have…and I didn’t buy twelve bags.  But I think I still have two unopened bags that are probably expired.

 

The chocolate marbles, I looked…those expired in March of last year, or this year; 2016, so last year.  I didn’t look at the pretzels…the Trader Joe's deep chocolate cookies; I couldn’t find a expiration date on those.  But that’s the method I usually do, is like well, if I like it now, I’ll probably like it in June, so I should stock up.  So I think I’m single-handedly obsessively keeping Trader Joe's in business.  But yeah, there’s your…if this works, if people like this, then I can do a run-through every once in a while of the Fear…this is a Fearless Flyer run-through.  Thanks everybody, and goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcribed by Leah Hervoly)