980 – Ping Pong Tacos | Bored Game Unboxing
Episode 980 – Ping Pong Tacos | Bored Game Unboxing
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, and my patron peeps…for some reason, I really love using this announcer voice. Now boarding train to patron dreamland, powered by the patrons. Goodnight.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place wherever…where you can set aside…sometimes I have to use my words more than once…where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether that’s thoughts on your mind or that you’re thinking about from the past, the present, or the future, and thoughts that are coming at you or popping up or rolling around. I do have a lot of thoughts that…my dog…this is a unexplained behavior.
I mean, it could be explained away. Say, well, her back itches, maybe. But one dog behavior is when a dog rolls around on its back. I don’t know, sometimes I think she just does it ‘cause she’s in a good mood. She says I’m in such a good mood, I’m gonna flip right over and roll…wriggle around on my back. Not rolling; I’m wriggling, Scoots. I’m so happy that…if you’re happy and you know it, wriggle around on your back. Also, it feels good. It’s not just…it’s not because…I’m scratching an itch that isn’t there ‘cause I’m scratching it. I’m scratching a itch on the inside; that’s why I’m rolling around on my back.
Also, aren’t you introducing a podcast and not interpreting dog…interpretive…inter…Interpreting Interpretive Dog Dance; that’s my next podcast, also known as projecting meaning onto imagine…so, whatever thought…I mean, I’ll probably have some thoughts about that later. Thoughts, it could be feelings, it could be emotions coming up for you or physical sensations. It could be changes in your schedule, your routine, maybe someone’s in town, maybe someone’s out of town. Maybe the…changes in humidity; holy moly. Sometimes there’s even imagined…I say well, it must be the humidity that’s got me going now, or not going. So, whatever’s keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off of that.
The way I’m gonna do it is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing…eventually soothing, I’ll say, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents…oh, I was gonna say creaky, dulcet tones mean my voice is not perfect; not traditionally soothing. I’d say you could classify every moment of the podcast under that. You’d say how…okay, not traditionally soothing. Some would say not soothing at all. I’d say maybe you’re right in some sense. Comforting; maybe not soothing. But I’ll use creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents. I don’t want to say ill-informed logic. Illogical logic though, lack of logic, all to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company while you fall asleep.
That’s really my goal, is to take your mind off of stuff so you can drift off. A few other things to know though, if you’re new. If you’re a regular listener or you’re new, I’m so glad you’re here. Really; it’s great to see you. I’m so happy to be here on a regular basis. This is the first…is this…yeah, this is the first intro I’m recording of the year, so that’s why I’m saying that. I’m so glad I’m here with you in the future but in the present, really. We’re here together, so thank you. Thank you if this is your first time or your thousandth-plus time. I appreciate it. But if you’re new, I did want to tell you a couple things to know; one is that most people when they’re new to the show share some feelings. Sometimes it’s skepticism, sometimes it’s doubt, sometimes it’s a uncomfortable, awkward feeling.
If you’re feeling any of those things, those are…that’s normal because skepticism…’cause what do you mean this podcast is supposed to put me to sleep? That’s one kind of skepticism, or what do you…what’s this…this dude’s gonna tell…when is he gonna tell us…why is he going on and rambling and rambling? Why is his…his voice is creaky and dulcet. So, those are normal reactions. I totally accept them and I even accept the fact that yeah, this podcast may not be your taste. You may not like me or the style of the show and that’s okay, too. I’m still glad you’re here for as long as you’re gonna be here. That’s why I try to explain this. But so, for most people, this podcast is something that takes time to get used to, but it doesn’t even work for everybody. So, just kinda see how it goes.
This is not my thing; most listeners say hey, give it two or three tries. So, that’s to kinda soften stuff but also, a couple other things to know; this is a podcast you don’t really listen to, so that’s kinda part of the method that we’re already in the middle of, is this is a podcast you just barely pay attention to. It distracts some of the other parts of you but it’s not something where I tell you a bedtime story and I lead you on a journey and then you drift off, or I kinda set the…I don’t know. I kinda do that stuff, but it’s more like you’re watching somebody else on a journey that you’re…like a sailboat. Like, when you’re sitting…you could watch a sailboat go from Point A to Point B, like if you had a view of the bay. You say oh boy, there’s a lot of sailboats out there. I’m just gonna watch this one for a little while.
At some point you would either start to create a story or maybe you’re detail oriented and you say okay, I noticed that mast or maybe you know stuff about sailboats. I know nothing or almost nothing. But it would be tough to pay attention to it for a couple hours because at some point you’d say huh, this is getting a little bit…I’m just barely paying attention to that one sailboat now. Now I’m looking at the bay; it’s sparkling. I’m looking at those clouds, noticing those other boats. Oh, wait a second, do I…look at the windbreaker. That’s a…I’d love a neon pink or neon green windbreaker. So, what’s my point? Oh, this is a podcast you barely pay attention to. I think I just gave you an example of why to barely pay attention to me.
I could probably spend all day going on tangents about watching boats that don’t need to be watched. It’s a podcast you barely listen to. Weird thing is, it’s not really a podcast that puts you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company and you drift off. While you fall asleep, I’m here to take your mind off of stuff. That’s why the shows are over an hour, is to put you…give you some peace of mind and give you plenty of time. There’s no pressure to fall asleep and if you can’t sleep or you wake up later, I’m gonna be here. I’m here to the very end of the episode trying to be barely engaging for the people that can’t sleep at all, or for the part of you that’s asleep. I’m still entertaining what I call your brain bots which we’ll talk about in a minute. It’s a podcast you don’t really listen to.
It doesn’t really put you to sleep, either. You say oh boy, you’re 0 for 2. Well, no, and I said you probably won’t like me, so…okay, 0 for 3. Yeah. So, that’s…oh, the structure of the show is the next thing that can throw new people off, but regular listeners know it serves a purpose. The show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. That’s so you could feel welcome. Then there’s an intro, or no, then there’s listener supporter…listener support, then there’s business. So, there’s listener support, sponsors, listener support, then the intro. The intro, it runs from, yeah, maybe minute six or minute eight to minute twenty to twenty-two, and goes on and on and on. It introduces the podcast but it also eases you into bedtime.
So, some people…3% of people skip the intro and they start the show somewhere between twenty and twenty-two minutes. Then a few thousand people listen to story-only episodes on Patreon. But the rest of the listeners, they’re either getting ready for bed or they’re doing some sort of wind-down or comforting thing or they’re in bed getting cozy. I mean, one…I bet you there’s one person out there making a cozy. Maybe a tea cozy, maybe some other cozy as part of their bedtime routine. If you’re doing that, let us know about it because that would be cool. We’d say okay, someone’s make…getting cozy. Getting cozy and making a cozy. The Cozy Cast. [00:10:00] I think I’ve had other podcasts named the Cozy Cast, but that would be one.
The Cozy Cast; we’re making cozies, we’re getting…is there something…there’s a tea cozy; that’s a thing, right? That comes up every few years. Oh, so the intro goes on and on and on so that you can…the day can get a little bit further away with each passing moment. Then we’ll do a…oh, then there’s business, then we’ll do our board game unboxing and look at a couple board games that I got recently. Recently for me. For you, you know, it’ll be a little bit in the distant past but that’s cool too, ‘cause this is…it’s always board game season. That’ll be the intro…oh, then the bedtime stories, then the thank-yous. So, that’s the structure of the show. The other things to know that are important is the reason I make the show.
I make the show for two reasons; one, because I’ve been there tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep. I’ve had those, so I know how it feels. I know the frustration and how it feels in the deep, dark night. I know it can feel lonely, so if I could keep you company or take your mind off of stuff, that’s my honor. The other thing is that you deserve a good night’s sleep. That’s what’s important to me, is that you get the sleep you need and you deserve so you could live your life, so your life could be a little bit more manageable, a little bit fuller. If that happens, the world as a whole is gonna be a better place. That’s really the closest thing to a miracle I’ve ever experienced, is hearing that and knowing it’s true.
I say okay, if your life’s a little bit better, the world I live in is a better place. That’s something that’s easy to forget. Doesn’t even have to do with the podcast, really. It’s just a fact, a fact that’s easy for me to forget, and that kinda leads into the other stuff of the brain bots. So, that was a term I came up with at some point, and a brain bot is a…for me, I picture…you can picture it; they look…so many different types of brain bots, and they’re beautiful in their varied spectrum of existence. But a brain bot to me is some sort of uni-function bot — bot short for robot or droid in this case that I’m imagining most of the time — that only serves a uni-function. It has one function.
A lot of times it was a function from the past, like maybe somewhere…probably not a very glamorized brain bot would be like, the wrinkled clothes brain bot. Embarrassment from wrinkled clothes brain bot. That thing’s been in sleep mode at least inside me until about two seconds ago when it just woke up. It said you could have used me. You haven’t talked to me in thirty-one years. I say yeah, you’re right. But the thing is, I don’t need you at bedtime. I could have used you two hours before I go anywhere. Where are you? Say well, that’s not really my job. I say, what do you mean it’s not your job? You’re the wrinkled clothes brain bot. No, no, no; I’m the embarrassment and shame from wrinkled clothes brain bot.
You’re looking for some brain bot that was never made; the don’t wear wrinkled…let me pro…we don’t…we’re not proactive. Sorry about that. No, no problem. That’s what I was trying to explain to the listeners. I’m not here to judge you. I was just…I guess I was judging you a little bit ‘cause I just said if I had some sort of bot that said hey, you’re going somewhere in three hours; what are you wearing and are your clothes ironed? That would mean…yeah, that would…that’s not…yeah, you’re right, that’s a different person than me. You’re right about that. But so, this clothes…can I just call you Iron Bot? Wow, yeah. Iron Bot. I like that. So, Iron Bot is one of these parts of us that doesn’t get…probably doesn’t get used…probably could be glamorized in some way, especially now that you’re Iron Bot.
It’s gotta be tough being Iron Bot because Iron Bot only gets called into action when…at bedtime for some strange reason and according to some mysterious algorithm, you say, what…remember when you didn’t…why didn’t you iron your clothes today? Or man, you would have got a date for that if you had ironed your shirt when you…I said, you’re probably right. So, it’s so nice to meet you, Iron Bot. I’m almost…I’m more distracted by you and wanting to interact with you, but I was trying to explain to the new listeners what a brain bot is, so…and now that you’re here, it’s kinda hard for me to explain it. So, I’ll have to explain it in a very subtextual and indirect way, if you catch my drift, listeners.
So, the glorious brain bots like Iron Bot here, they have important jobs and they believe their job is very important. Critical mission, wouldn’t you say, Iron Bot? It is a critical mission, yeah. Bringing up those feelings for you about ironed clothes, that’s the only thing I know how to do. Yeah, that’s really the only thing they know how to do but it’s important to them ‘cause it’s their…it’s your mission, right? I’m mission-driven, Scooter. My mission is to make you feel feelings about the times your clothes weren’t ironed. Right, and that’s really important to you, huh? I guess so, because it’s the only job I have. Maybe I could give you another job. How about…what if I give you a job…I don’t…I’ve talked about this on the podcast before, and this is a live experiment.
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, we’ve never attempted this before. Iron Bot, because you’re iron. One of the things I tell listeners is to bring a little bit of silliness to bedtime, and one of things I tell people…there’s like, kissing your elbow, kissing your shoulders, cupping your elbows, dipping your elbows in milk. You don’t do that in bed, though. But I’m thinking for you, what if I give you a new mission? Instead of embarrassment about ironed…un-ironed clothes, at bedtime I give you the mission of reminding me to kiss my biceps with a sense of satisfaction…an overall satisfaction that has nothing to do with biceps or exercise, but just the fact that self-kissing…just a peck.
I’m not talking about making out with my biceps or leaving anything behind, except for sweet…touch of dew from my lips. But what do you think about that? You could be in charge of me kissing my bed…instead of reminding me about ironed clothes, you say have you kissed your…have I told you lately, biceps, that I love you with this kiss? Maybe we even sing that song. You’re speechless, Iron Bot. I like…I would love to do that. Okay, well, hold on, I’ll…let me try…let’s try it right…so, let’s kiss our bicep and tell it we love it. Wow, that’s soft. Soft but like iron, you’d say. Like, oh boy, if people are imagining my biceps, it’s like a piece of iron. Oh, I was thinking more like a cotton ball. Okay, well, let’s not quibble. Great job, Iron Bot. So, that was…that’s new. That’s never happened before. Thanks, Iron Bot.
I’ll see you later at actual bedtime. So, that’s never happened before where we’ve worked with a brain bot. But you know, brain bots are like those little things that come up at bedtime. I think we…and I’m here to kinda take…you see how I can work with them and they love listening to my stories, so I guess that was my main point that I was trying to get to that I never did. I think that’s it. I’m glad you’re here. I work really hard, I yearn and I strive, and I want to help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to be here for you twice a week.
Alright everybody, it’s Scooter here. It’s time to do a board game unboxing. This will be the…I don’t know if this is the first time we’ve ever done a board game unboxing of games I…a game I’ve already played, but this one will be. It might be even two games I’ve played, and the reason is because this is January 2021. I got this game as a holiday gift and of course I wanted to play it on the holidays, so…but I said well, this is still interesting. This one I haven’t played very much yet. So, we’ll go through it just like an unboxing of a regular board game. It’ll just have a little bit less wondering, wa-wa-wondering how do you play this game. But it starts off at the top; it says Hot Taco Presents…there’s…it’s kinda like one of those…at the very top…okay, so it’s a…oh, you’re right; slow it down, Scoots.
So, it comes in one of these prototypical at this point card…smaller cardboard game boxes about the size of DVDs…I mean, thicker than that, but that type of rectangle or a video…Xbox, PlayStation game. But probably like an inch-and-a-half thick. The box is [00:20:00] matte black but it has, of course, stuff all over it so it’s not just a matte black box. In fact, as I was saying, at the top of the front of the box there’s one, two, three, four, five red stars at the very top and then three vertical lines. Then it says Hot Taco Presents, then another…vertical lines and then five red stars kinda like you’d see at the, I don’t know, like at the set of Top Gun. Then it says Taco vs. Burrito. Behind it is a black and grey…I don’t know. Like, lines going towards the middle kinda like you’d see in an optical illusion or something.
It’s very subtle in the background. Then Taco…it says Taco vs. Burrito, but Taco vs. Burrito is written in big font with a shadow font behind it. It kinda has some…it’s white with black borders and also some black…maybe ‘cause it looked like it just came off a printer effect or a stamp. Then in…with vs. on the left and the right. On the left side is a taco and on the right side is a burrito. This is not exactly…the pictures are not a west coast taco or burrito. This isn’t a values judgment but just in case anybody on the west coast is looking at it, you might say my goodness, I’ve never seen a taco or burrito…but they’re personalized, so the taco’s on the left. The taco has eyes and a smile, a closed-mouth kinda smile, eyebrows. Inside the taco is lettuce, tomato, something else, cheese, and lettuce again, maybe?
The taco has its hands up and its arms and feet…arms and legs as well. Feet and hands and gloves…it’s about to do a patty-cake game, so it has winter mittens on to play patty-cake with the burrito who’s on the right side. Now, the taco is horizontal where the burrito is vertical, which would make sense. If the taco was vertical, everything would spill out. It’s a hard taco which already…’cause, I mean, there are…you can get hard tacos or crispy tacos on the west coast. Of course you can at Taco Bell. Those are the tacos I ate as a youth, but they’re just different than…anyway, it’s not important, but so…then on the right side is the burrito. The burrito has eyes. The burrito’s mouth is open; it’s moving its tongue as it’s thinking and prepping for patty-cake.
In some sense, just a quick thing; the burrito kinda looks more sporty and the taco looks more witty, just by their mouth…what is that called? Expression. The burrito looks like it has a green tomato in it and then maybe some cheese. We can’t see any other ingredients. Then underneath that it says The Card Game. That’s also within the Top-Gun-style decorations, so five stars and three lines. Then it says the battle to build the weirdest, wildest meal is on. Ages 7+. Two to four players. This is written in red. Approximately three minutes to learn, fifteen minutes to play. Then on all four sides of the box it says Taco vs. Burrito with a star on either end; red star, white print that looks like it was stamped. Then on the back side it says Taco vs. Burrito.
The back of the box is a red, but it says Taco vs. Burrito and then it has the…a taco with an exclamation point. This taco definitely has tomatoes, lettuce, and cheese. Oh, and either ground beef or refried beans. Then it has some cards poking out. Then quoting from the back it says, “In this surprisingly strategic game, players compete to build the weirdest, wildest meal to win the game. Sounds simple? Right; not so fast. Give your opponent Tummy Aches to reduce the value of the meal. Use Trash Panda, Crafty Crow, and Food Fight to gain the cards you need to win. Block opponents with No Bueno but beware of the Health Inspector and Order Envy. They are real game-changers. Once a player…one player is out of cards, the game is instantly over.” Then it has more cards and then it says one game, five ways to play.
Includes 24 Food cards, 32 Action cards, four Quick Start cards, four Tacos and Burritos, and one rule sheet. Then it says for more details and gameplay videos, visit tacovburrito.com. Created by Alex Butler and Leslie Pearson. 2018, Hot Taco. So, that’s the box. Now, the first thing you notice when you open the box of these envelopes which are made to hold your cards, it says Taco on one side and Burrito on the other side. I think this is…they just hold the cards that you would…you’re making either…you’re deciding whether you’re gonna make a taco or burrito, and that’s just for fun. I don’t think it strategically impacts stuff. I definitely have a…I guess maybe you lie it down. We were having trouble but we were also playing on a couch, so…but it says Taco vs. Burrito. Then there’s the cards.
Now, let’s read the rules after we do the cards. But the funny thing is, I might not even remember how to play even though I played this game about five days ago. So, the backs of the cards say Taco vs. Burrito in the same font as the cover of the box, and then it has the same black and grey background with all the lines…infinity lines? I don’t know what you call it. Okay, so the first card is +2. It’s a Food card. It’s bread with M-O-L-D on there, and the bread…it’s…there’s a picture of bread and it’s saying oh, no…I mean, it’s not actually saying that; it just looks like it. It’s a Food card; place in a burrito or taco to increase the value of the meal. So, we can I guess assume that it adds two point…+2 to your value. But I can’t remember anything else. Oh, Choco Cake, a Food card. Place in a…would you want this in a taco or burrito?
Place in a taco or burrito. That’s also +2. It looks a little bit like…is that a Ding-Dong or a…yeah, Ding-Dong? It has chocolate shavings, chocolate syrup dripping off it, then two pieces of chocolate cake, and then some marshmallow or cream in the center. Kinda has two eyes and a mouth, too. Nothing made out of coal, though. What is this…what were these…? I forgot the name of this group. The Descendants? Is that who it was that won…people dressed in the eyeball suit? So, someone in a eyeball suit. They also have flippers on. That’s +3, and a Food card. Salsa with an extra ingredient; +1. There’s a bowl; it’s like a wooden bowl with salsa and the bowl is waving. Yeah, the bowl has two eyes, two legs, two feet, and two eyes, and a mouth. +1. Super Fun Burger; +1.
Some of these are meant to really make you laugh or say, what? Getting changed for the podcast. That’s a Food card, +1. A Thinker; that’s +3. I’m trying to think of the word in Spanish. Not cabeza but…anyway, Fresh Thinkers. That’s +3, a Food card, so that’s a…big points, +3, eh? Gummy Bears; +2. Let’s see, how many gummy bears are on the card? There’s one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty gummy bears, it looks like. There’s red which I would assume is fruit punch, then there’s green which is normally either green apple or lime. Pink, interestingly enough, I guess would be pink lemonade or strawberry.
Orange which is usually orange, then a kind of turquoise which is always interesting when you have artificial flavors. You say, turquoise? Usually, turquoise they save for a pretty good flavor like Electric Blue, Blue Ice. It could be…it’s usually not something so simple as blue something. Then there’s purple which could be grape or it could be some sort of purple punch. Oh, and then there’s a light orange [00:30:00] like an amber which could be a honey or it could be a lemon. It’s a little bit…it’s more of a sunsetty color than a yellow. So, that’s that one. Okay, next one is our first non-positive card; -3 Tummy Ache. Place this card in a player’s Taco or Burrito to decrease the value of their meal. It’s pink and it shows a young child that says yeah, I don’t feel so good, and they’re holding their tummy.
It has a pink background, too. Then there’s another Tummy Ache right after that. This one’s only -1, so you can get Tummy Aches at different levels, clearly. Kinda remember that part. No Bueno; so, this must be an action card. It’s turquoise to aquamarine. It says No Bueno in kind of like…it has it in writing and then in a comic-book-type thing, even with an electric explanation point. Block any action from another player at any time during the game. If played after another No Bueno, it becomes a Si Bueno and blocks the block. So, we definitely had some No Bueno showdowns. Oh, another No Bueno, so these must…cards must not have been shuffled. There must have been a No Bueno showdown when we played. Order Envy; this is green and it shows kind of a person in a green hat.
They kinda look like they’re about to start frowning. It says Order Envy. I guess they’re green with envy. Switch meals and hands with any player at the table by switching seats. The person to your left goes next. So, this one, I do remember one time holding onto this one ‘til the last…or the second-to-the-last move, and I think making sure…maybe I even had a No Bueno or maybe I knew all the No Buenos were out. I think that sealed the victory for me. I was able to change seats with the person who had the best hand. So, there’s that card. Our Old Friend Broccoli. This is like a older, smiling broccoli; +1. Fried Grasshopper; +1. I mean, that’s pretty straightforward. Hair from a Moustache or a Moustache, and it has a monocle; +3. That’s worth a lot of money, though. I mean, a lot of points.
Chocolate-Covered Shrimp; that’s +3 as well. Looks more like a prawn to me, but I guess it’s a shrimp. I don’t know, is there any difference? Fish Head. The fish is saying I need somebody. Roly-poly fish heads. Place in a taco or burrito. +3. I mean, that’s where you get the big money. Lettuce That’s Seen Better Days. This shows the lettuce; its eyes are closed, it’s sleeping, it has…it’s various shades of green, yellow, and brown. That’s +1. Slimy Liver. I’ve been called a slimy liver before. Only +1 for that. Trash Panda; so, this is a good card. It allows you to go through the trash pile or the discard pile and place one card in your hand…take one card, place it in your hand. The panda’s dancing. Looks very happy. Oh, another Trash Panda right after that. Then a No Bueno card.
A -2 Tummy Ache, a -2 Tummy Ache, a No Bueno, so we could have had…I guess we had some Tummy Aches versus No Buenos. Crafty Crow; this one is a crow looking around. It says take one card from another player’s taco or burrito; put it in your taco or burrito. I guess you gotta go with a +3. Another Trash Panda. Food Fight; so, this has a pair of French fries with its mouth open and its eyes open wide. Orange background. Each player…oh, this is fun; each player flips one card from the draw pile. The player with the highest value Food card wins and keeps any one card from the flipped cards. Tie; repeat ‘til there’s a winner. Shuffle the other cards back in the draw pile. It’s kinda random but then when you play that, at least you get a chance to win some cards. Trash…another Trash Panda.
A -3 Tummy Ache, a Food Fight, Crafty Crow…we may be at the end of the line. Oh no, here’s a new one; this one’s…this is…oh, this reminds me of the other game, Mewing Kittens. Health Inspector; play immediately. Discard all the contents of your taco and burrito and end your turn. So, that one stinks if you get it. At least it doesn’t totally end the game. Milk…after the famous date on its label; +1. Bowl of something that rhymes with rice. That’s +3. Ice Cream; +2. Ice to meet you. The ice cream’s sticking its tongue out. It’s kind of a green…a winter green color. I don’t know; blue-green. Watermelon; +2. The watermelon is kinda saying cheers ‘cause its arms are above its head. It’s a slice of watermelon smiling. Then another Heath Inspector, so that’s not the card you want to get.
Food Fight, Food Fight, Crafty Crow, No Bueno, another No Bueno, Order Envy, so it must have gone Order Envy, No Bueno, No Bueno. So, that meant that the Order Envy went through. Crafty Crow, -3 Tummy Ache…oh, Hot Yogurt. The yogurt’s saying it’s getting hot in here. That one’s worth +3. Salty Lollipop; that might not be bad. +2. A -2 Tummy Ache, a -1 Tummy Ache, a +1 Hot Kombucha. That’s +1. Don’t know; that would really soak a taco, though. Cotton Candy; +2. It’s two cotton candies, a red and…or a pink and a blue, or turquoise. They’re side by side. They both have eyes. They look like they could be a team. Sushi Past Its Prime, and it’s a sushi waving hello, a cute little piece of sushi.
Hot Sauce Boss; this is x2 so this one, when played in your taco or burrito, it doubles the value of your meal, the complete value. So, that’s powerful. Then another Hot Sauce Boss; x2. So, those are powerful if you have those. Then Adorable Marshmallows; it’s good to be mellow. The marshmallows are pink. There’s one on top of one another like they’re a family, and that’s worth +2. Okay, now let’s read through the instructions. They have instructions on…in other languages other than English, which is nice. That’s all at tacovburrito/rules. The goal; to build the weirdest, wildest, most valuable meal. So, when you play — and I’ll try to paraphrase from this — you choose your…choose taco or burrito, but it doesn’t affect how the game is played. Shuffle the deck and deal each player five cards.
Each player starts the game with five cards. There isn’t a minimum or a maximum number of cards you can have in your hand. Then make a draw pile with a…rest of the cards face-down. Leave a space next to the draw pile for the trash pile. Check for Health Inspectors. Everyone checks to make sure they don’t have a Heath Inspector. If you do, shuffle it back in the deck and take a new card. Decides who goes first; because the creator was seven when he created the game, we suggest the youngest player goes first and then move clockwise. How to play; on your turn, draw a card, play a card. So, ingredients can be placed in any taco or burrito, any, so, you know, with the Tummy Ache, to increase the value of a meal. Tummy Aches can be placed in any to reduce the value.
Hot Sauce Boss can be placed in any to double the value of a meal. If you have two Hot Sauce Bosses in your meal, your meal’s multiplied by four. Action cards have a variety of effects. Hot tip; you can play Ingredients, Tummy Aches, and [00:40:00] Hot Sauce Bosses in any meal, not just your own. This continues ‘til all the cards in the draw pile are gone. How to win; when all the cards in the draw pile are gone, continue playing but skip the draw part of your turn. Don’t reshuffle the trash pile. When one player’s out of cards, the game is instantly over. Important; you cannot block the last card played. Oh, okay, so that’s how I won, was…the last card played by me was that, so no one can block that whatever’s it’s called card. Player with the most valuable meal win…at the end of the game wins.
So, yeah, tally up your points and figure that out. Easy? Not so fast though, they say, ‘cause you have the Action part of the cards. The Health Inspector, No Bueno…No Bueno can be played at any time except if you get a Health Inspector. Can I No Bueno the last card in the game? Nope. When you No Bueno a card, what happens to the card? Goes in the trash pile. Crafty Crow; you get to take a Trash Panda. Can I Trash Panda a Health Inspector? Yes, so if you’ve…if you have a bunch of Tummy Aches, you could Trash Panda a Health Inspector and throw your meal in the trash. Can I Trash Panda a Trash Panda? You can, but only twice in a game. Can I discard a Trash Panda? Yes, you can discard any card, but that move counts as your turn. Food Fight; we went over that. Order Envy; you could swap things.
What happens if the Order Envy player plays Order Envy as the last card? I followed that tip right away. Can I discard it? Yes, you can. Oh, then there’s more ways to play, and they’re coming out with a expansion…oh, they had one expansion pack and they were supposed to come out with another one. But then there’s also…on the back page is the Legend of King Taco. When he was just seven, Alex, AKA King Taco, announced he was going to create a game called Tacos vs. Burritos. After months of dreaming up weird foods and wild actions, his dream became a reality one magical Taco Tuesday. Even today, King Taco rules the Hot Taco Empire, cooking up new game ideas and the expansion packs unless he has to go to school that day. Thanks for purchasing Taco vs. Burrito and supporting this young entrepreneur.
Team Taco and Team Burrito. So, that’s that game. It was a fun…that was a…we had fun playing it. It’s a fast game which is nice. Maybe I’ll have more to report on it but I have another game here, so I might as well keep it going. This is another game I’ve played a few more times, but it’s a pretty…it’s a game I’m not always in a hurry to play ‘cause it’s very involved. But I think this game is actually really fun. I think I was just like…now that I’m thinking about it, I did have a lot of fun playing it. It’s called Beat That! Exclamation point. It’s the bonkers battle of wacky challenges. I can imagine for like, when people start getting together in bigger groups, this would be a really fun game with kids and adults. Kids might just get a little too excited. It has a poppin’ box. It’s in a bigger box. It’s not a traditional…it’s a rectangular cube.
I don’t even know what you call that, but it’s a bigger box ‘cause it had…this game has a lot more stuff in it. It’s a card game, activity-based card game and it’s wacky. The cover is wild in a good way. On the front cover it says…it was very surreal. It has, like I said, poppin’ colors. So, it says Beat That!, the bonkers game of wacky challenges. There’s a lot of predominant colors on the cover. There’s orange, there’s cyan or blue, or cyan. There’s a lighter yellowish-orange, a yellow, a white, pink, red, and green. So, there’s this weird sky that’s…orange-ish yellow sky with cool clouds. There’s a whale in the sky, flying. I think it’s a…I don’t know what type of whale it is, but it…the whale has a spout going that’s orange. Then there’s a orange-ish sea with…what are those called in them?
Those things with…hourglasses; blue and green hour…like, blue hourglasses with green sand or white sand that’s tinged green ‘cause of the color. They’re up in the sea. Then we have land, rolling hills which are blue, covered in blue grass. Then we have competitors stretching or getting ready. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. Seven on the front of the box. Three have already won but in the background above Beat That! there’s a person doing two competitions. There’s also daisies popping up. There’s a woman stretching, there’s another character singing and holding a cup. Then there’s another character running and doing something. Then we have first, second, and third place. First place is someone with a medal. Second…and blue hair.
Then second place has purple hair and is giving a…maybe it’s a thumbs-up or a hang-ten side. Both these characters have blue fingernails, blue shorts, pink shoes. I guess all the characters are…have pink and white wristbands, blue tube…or white tube socks with blue strips, pink shoes, blue shorts, and then white competition shirts. There’s even a lake, an orange lake. There’s a cactus. Then on the sides of the boxes are more characters doing more competitions. Then on the back it says Beat That!, the bonkers game of wacky challenges. It shows four cards. 160 challenges, four categories, but we’ll get to that. Limber up and prepare to bounce, flip, stack, hop, roll, blow, balance, and catapult your way to victory in this wacky party game.
Collect as many points as possible by betting on your ability to complete challenges. All players attempt the exact same challenges, so get ready for the ultimate abilities. Great for adults and kids alike. A funny party game, belly-busting laughter. Then it says how to play. Pick a challenge, read it. Players place their bets. Don’t worry, it’s not real gambling. It’s just points gambling for…all players attempt the challenge. Players bank their points. You’re also not betting against…you’re betting on yourself, not against the other players. Find out who’s earned bragging rights after ten rounds. So, it comes with 160 Challenge cards, 80 betting tokens, 10 cups, 5 balls, 4 dice, chopsticks, memo pad, tape measure, timer…hourglass timer, and game rules.
Alright, so when you open it up, the first thing you notice is wow, this comes with a lot of stuff. It has a foam insert to hold everything. In one foam insert are Solo-style cups that are orange that say Beat That! on there. They’re a little bit different than a…I don’t know. I don’t have a Solo cup but they may…they’re…I don’t think they would…like, sixteen-ounce Solo cups. So, they may be made for the game. Inside the cup is four light-blue ping-pong balls. Oh no, scratch that; five. There may even be six and we may be missing one. Those are light-blue. They’ve held up pretty well. I’m surprised; I was expecting them to be already dented but they’re not. Okay, and then it comes with the instructions. It has a little slot for the chopsticks which are green, plastic chopsticks.
It has…what is…oh, a insert for the timer, for the tape measure, for a pad, like a…what do you call that pad? Stickin’ pad? What do you call those things? Post-it pad, the cards, and then the dice and the coins. Comes with five orange dice. Then, the coins…it comes with one coin, like a dollar coin, five-dollar, and three-dollar or three-point coins, one-point coins, and five-point coins. So, we’ll run through the rules first on this one ‘cause it’d be fun. There’s a lot; we won’t be able to get through all the competition [00:50:00] cards anyway, but it’d be fun to ponder this one and the…instead of guessing since I played it before. Okay, so it’s really simple instructions. There’s only three pages. It definitely was like oh, okay, first I didn’t understand the betting stuff.
After playing it — I probably played it five or six times — I said oh, okay, the betting system is pretty good. It does introduce this idea of guessing your abilities and being wrong or right. But you’re also trying to see what other coins the other people have left. So, getting started; Beat It! It’s a wacky challenge game. Ten rounds. Before attempting each challenge, players place a bet on how likely they are to complete the challenge by selecting a token which reflects their confidence. All players then attempt the same challenge. The players with the most points wins. There’s four kinds of categories; Solo, where you attempt it on your own, Battle Royale where everybody competes against each other, Buddy Up where you work cooperatively with a partner, or Duel where you go head-to-head.
You can deal out more tokens if you want a longer game, but the betting tokens…you start with ten tokens. One token can be bet by each player per challenge. Once a token is bet, it can’t be used again. Blue is one point, orange is three points, yellow is five. So, how to play; clear the table of clutter. You’re gonna need space. Yeah, ‘cause you need a lot of space for this game. Place the Challenge cards in the center. Give each player five blue, three orange, and two yellow, then roll the dice to see who goes first. The person with the highest number picks a Challenge from the pile, reads it aloud to the rest of the players. Then four; each player must bet one of their tokens on how confident they are on their own ability to complete the challenge or their team’s ability for Buddy Up.
So, if you think you got it, bet five. If it’s a long shot, bet one. Once all the bets are placed, go clockwise in turns to attempt the challenge, starting with the player who picked the card. Players who complete the challenge move their token to a “safe bank”, quote, unquote, where the…for the points they’ve won. Players who don’t, put their token in the box. The next player then picks a new Challenge card. Repeat above until ten challenges have been completed. Player who banks the most points wins. In the event of a draw, play on using Solo challenges until there’s a winner. Rules; all players must place their bets at the same time. Tokens which have been banked are discarded; can’t be used. For Buddy Up and Duel challenges, go around clockwise picking partners until all players have been selected once.
Place bets once all partners have been chosen. For Buddy Up and Duel challenges, if there’s an odd number of players, then the player without a partner or an opponent must still place their bet, but they get to watch and then pick who they want to go against or work with. The player repeating the challenge wins or loses their token based on the outcome of the second go, so you can definitely use that strategically, too. I noticed…so, if someone bet five and someone bets one and the person with the five didn’t complete it on the first go, you definitely don’t want to give him a second chance to win five, obviously, in my opinion.
So, a lot of times I would just pick the person…if it’s a Duel, I would pick the person that had bet one, even if I think I can beat them, ‘cause…I mean, sometimes I guess you’d say well, it’s a lock…oh, ‘cause it doesn’t matter what you…win their five anyway. So, yeah. I don’t know, that’s just one strategic thing I noticed. For Buddy Up challenges, players do not have to bet the same value as their partner. There’s always a nitpicker who will try to reinterpret a challenge to their advantage. Play fair. People’s abilities greatly vary, so free…feel free to adapt the challenges to suit the skill level of your group. Show us your skills. We’d love to see you playing, so tag them. You can win a free Print and Play expansion pack. This is by Gutter Games Ltd. Okay, so now I have the Challenge cards.
There’s a big stack of them but we’ll just go through them. On the back of the card it says Beat That! Exclamation point, bonkers game of wacky challenges. Then it has different…of the cartoony characters from the box doing competitions. The first one is Solo. The first one I said this is actually…each of the cards have a number. This the number 59; High Dive. Place a cup on the floor. Grab another three cups. You have thirty seconds to drop the cups one at a time from waist height so that they land in a stack on the floor. So, you hold the cup at your waist and you just gotta drop it from your waist to a cup on the floor so it lands on there. So, from your waist…I don’t know. If I…since not seeing it…I definitely wouldn’t bet five. I would either bet three or one depending on where we were at the game, ‘cause I don’t know.
I haven’t seen a Solo cup drop. If it drops rim-first, then you’re gonna be fine and it’ll be easy. But I got a feeling it’s not gonna be easy. Okay, the next one is a Solo, number 23; Tender Touch. Close your eyes and get another player to pass you two dice. You have thirty seconds to feel for the dot and place both dice on the table with the sixes facing up. I would definitely bet six for…or five for this. It seems pretty easy. Doesn’t mean it is easy, but definitely when you’re betting with five, you gotta guess at what you think…you gotta trust your gut and say okay, I’m gonna go for it because some of them are really not easy. I would say already…so, we’re two challenges in. Let’s say the first one…we’d be in pretty good shape for this one. Let’s just say we completed both, so we have six now. We’re doing great.
So, this is the next one; Battle Royale. Roll a dice and pass it to the next player. Then they roll, and if they roll the same number as the previous player, they’re out. Continue clockwise ‘til there’s only one winner. So, I’d just bet one for this because it’s not under your control. Let’s say we lose, so we still have six but we didn’t win that one. Well, that’s too bad. This one has two people throwing paper airplanes on the back of it. Yankee Doodle; okay, using three cups and two Challenge cards, create a tower as shown, which I’ll explain to you. This is Solo. You have three attempts to yank the cards out of the tower at the same time so that the cups stack neatly. I would definitely bet this one one.
So, it’s a Solo cup with the open end down, then a playing card, then a Solo cup on top of the playing card with its open end down, then a playing card, then another Solo cup with the open end down. So, you’ve gotta pull out the two Solo cups…I mean, the two cards at the same time so all three cups drop into…that they’re nesting in one another. I would say we didn’t get that, so we still have six which is pretty good. Six is pretty good, out of four. We had bet three of our ones, right? I don’t know how many ones we had. We had ten total. Oh, we have five ones, so we have two ones left, one five…so, we’re in good shape. Okay, this one’s called Slappy Bounce. You have three attempts to bounce an air…bounce a ball in the air ten consecutive times using a Challenge card. I would bet three for this one.
So, you gotta take a…what do you call that thing? A ping-pong ball and bounce it ten times in a row on a card, but you have three chances. Now, I think I did this one and it’s not easy but it’s possible, so I bet three. Part of me wishes we bet five but we already bet three, and we completed it. So, now what do we have? Nine. So, we’re pretty close to…I’m not trying to brag but we could see…from my experience if you break ten, you’re gonna win. That was five, right? Okay, Spinny Ninny. This is Solo. Using one hand, spin a cup on a chopstick. With the other hand, throw a ball in the air and catch it three times while the cup remains spinning. You have one attempt. I’m betting one. This is really hard.
So, you have to spin a cup on a chopstick [01:00:00] in one hand and then throw a ball and catch it three times with your other hand. Some people may be able to do that easy; I don’t think I can. Also, I forgot what I was gonna…what we were gonna score…I forgot my score but that’s fine. Okay, this one’s called Sports Star, so sometimes there’s word games. This one says going clockwise, take it in turns to name types of sports. Players who duplicate or hesitate for more than three seconds are out. Play until there’s only one winner. So, I bet three on this just ‘cause there’s a chance…this could be tough but it could also…it’s really…at least it’s not based on coordination which is not my strong suit.
So, you’re just basically going…at first it would go fast, like tennis, soccer, football, badminton, racquet ball…then I would have got out right there ‘cause I was trying to think of that ice game…ice hockey, you could say, running, dancing, long jump, so you just gotta keep going. So, I don’t know. I think we lost that one ‘cause I messed it up. Sorry. Shaky Stacker; stand…this is a Buddy Up, so stand six feet apart so you’re working as a team. One player holds five balls. Their other player…their partner holds five cups in one hand. Throw balls into the stack. Once a ball goes in, stack the cup with the ball below it in the bottom cup. Continue throwing and stacking ‘til the balls go in. You have thirty seconds to get all five balls in. So, you basically get a ball in, then you put a cup on top of the ball.
It’s not that shaky, I don’t think, so I don’t know. If I had a five left, I would bet it. Otherwise I’d bet a three ‘cause thirty seconds…this isn’t easy but it’s doable. You could see how it could be fun. Whipper Snapper; place three cups in a triangle on the table with a dice in each. Stand two feet away. Cradle a ball in your top, so cradle a ball in your…the end of your skirt or shirt, is what they mean. You have thirty seconds to whip your shirt — they say top, so I don’t know if this is a UK game — so your ball fires out and lands in a cup. It can bounce in. That one, I would…this is a doable one, too. Two feet away; you should be able to get a ball from your shirt into the…from your shirt, the front of your shirt, into a cup. I wouldn’t bet five, though. I think I’m out of fives anyway. Okay, next one; Logger’s Leap.
Place two cups with a gap between them. Bounce a ball over the first cup so it bounces between both cups before landing in the second cup. You have thirty seconds. These ones are either impossible or super easy, so I would bet one because it’s like, you never know how the ball’s gonna bounce. Then, if you’re gonna…I’ve seen it played both ways when we’ve had ones like this, where everybody gets it in one or two turns and then other ones where it’s impossible. Top Hat; so, these are…this is a good one. This is a laughing one. I mean, I haven’t done this one but it’s a Battle Royale. All players stand and balance a cup upside-down on their head. Players must try and blow their opponent’s cup off while trying to protect their own cup. The last player with a cup on their head wins. No hands allowed.
So, this could be fun. You could probably…some people might end up unhappy about it. I would still bet one though, unless you’re like, seven feet tall. Then I would bet five. Wheel of Fortune; place a cup face-down on a table. Place…balance a chopstick on the top. Spin the chopstick 365…360 degrees without it falling off. You have five attempts. No, I bet one. That sounds really hard. You have a upside-down Solo cup and you have to spin the chopstick without it falling off. At least for me, that seems not possible. On the Noggin’; Solo. Stand with your feet firmly on the floor. Throw a ball high up in the air, bounce it off your hair, and then catch it without moving your feet. You only get one attempt, though. I would bet three ‘cause that’s not that hard, but it could be. It’s not easy, either.
So, you can see this being fun. Ultimate Ninja; oh, this is like the Ricky J, so place a cup on the edge of the table. I did this one; I could not complete it. Place the cup on the edge of the table. At least three feet away, hold five cards. Throw the cards at the cup one at a time and knock the cup off the table. I don’t think I could throw very many cards flat and then the ones that I did didn’t hit the cup. Rapid Bounce; line three cups up and grab three balls. You have thirty seconds to bounce one ball into each cup consecutively. If you miss, you must start again at the beginning. I think I did this one but this one isn’t easy, either. Thirty seconds can either be long or short. Then it also depends on if there’s something behind the balls. That’s another thing.
If you’re playing with a wall behind you or you take turns being the ball person, it’s different than if you could lose it in a room and it could go under the couch. Those are kinda rules to discuss and build consensus with before you start playing. Oh, this is named after Edward Scissorhands. I did complete this one but I think I only bet one. Edward Cuphands; place a cup over each hand. You have thirty seconds to stack four dice on top of each other using only your cup hands. Here’s free advice; use the very edges of the cup and don’t do it like in the picture. Do it your own way and you’ll figure it out. Prepare for Landing; create a circle on the floor using a tape measure. You have thirty seconds to create a paper plane. These are fun.
So, you have thirty seconds to make a paper plane, an airplane, then you have three attempts to throw the plane into the circle from six feet away. I couldn’t do that. I thought I did a pretty good plane, but I couldn’t get it in the circle. Okay, a couple more. Stackeringly Hard; this is Solo. Place three cups facing up on the table. You have thirty seconds to stack the three cups on top of each other using only your elbows. So, you have to have one card…the first cup has to be face-down, so it starts face-up. You already have to do that face-down. Then you have to place another cup butt-to-butt or bottom-to-bottom and then face-to-face. So, this one is really hard. It looks like a lava lamp in the end. Plus, it’s gonna end up with…I wouldn’t even…I’d skip that card ‘cause I don’t want the cups getting ruined.
Foodie; so, this one’s a word game. Choose a letter below. Going clockwise, take in turns to name foods beginning with the letter. Players who duplicate or hesitate for more than three seconds are out. Restart with a new letter and play until there is one winner. There’s a bunch of letters listed, so you say T, taco. Then I already paused, so…but you could say tuna. Oh, and then they said taco again. Oh, sorry, you’re out. Okay. I’m playing by myself, though. Okay, It’s Just Maths, Bro; so, then you say it is a UK game ‘cause they’re calling it maths. Scatter four dice on the table. Using multiplication, calculate the highest number — this is a Duel — using each number once. First to shout out the correct number wins. That would not be my game. I would lose for sure.
Okay, here’s another word game, very similar; take the first letter…but it’s celebrities, so it’s a list of letters. You’d say M, Marilyn Monroe. Mack…Bernie Mack. Does that count? Then you’d probably argue. Then you say Matthew McConaughey. You don’t have to use the…you just have to use the M. You don’t have to start with another letter, I don’t think. Okay, Balls Telepathy; Buddy Up. Place a ball on…a cup and a ball on a table. Using one chopstick per player, you have thirty seconds to transfer the ball into the cup without the ball touching your hands. So, that could be fun…could…with your buddy. You’re both trying to get the ball between your chopsticks and get it in the cup. Okay, two more. So, All Bounce, No Blink; line up the three cups and the three balls.
You have thirty seconds to bounce all three balls into the cups without blinking using your non-dominant hand. Oh, boy. That could be…for me, it’s easier because of my right hand, but not blinking? That’s gonna [01:10:00] be tough. Yeah. Okay, last one. Leap Frog; line four cups up. You have thirty seconds to bounce the ball over the first three cups so it lands in the last cup. At this point you’ll know…see, the bouncing games, at least after you play it for a little while, you get an idea for a feel of the table or the floor or something. But basically before we go…so, you say Scoots, I gotta have the details of how we play this to win. I say okay, for the Taco Burrito one, I don’t know, unless you get that one card, then try to hold it to the end of the game. Otherwise just do your best and have fun.
For this game, too, just try to have fun, but I will say betting is a big part of it because…and keeping an eye on other people’s score. It really comes down to your gut of like, those three and fives…don’t use up all your ones at the beginning of the game. You’re gonna have to at some point in the first three or four cards, risk a three or a five just so you have a couple ones left when it’s something you know you’re not gonna be able to complete, ‘cause there’s ones that are balance ones where you’re having to throw a ball and balance on one foot. It’s like okay, there’s no chance of me getting that done, like the spinning of the chopstick.
Definitely think about…it might take one or two games to kinda get your betting strategy down and get an idea of the other players, because then also seeing what the other players…that are close to you; sometimes there will be games where you’re in close competition with one person and one or two people are out of the game. So, then you just gotta pay attention to what coins does the other person you’re competing with have left. Do they have a lot of ones? Then you’re…or are they making up ground? Like, you went through your fives and your threes already. You’re gonna even want to add up…like, okay, they have ten possible points left. I only have six possible points left, so I’m really gonna have to…I don’t know. Again, it’s hard to tell, but mostly it’s supposed to be fun. I mean, or…and to play to win, of course, or to try to win. So, I don’t know. So, those are two games I got for the holidays that are unboxed. I hope you enjoy them. Goodnight.
[END OF RECORDING]
- Matte Black
- A Rectangular Cube
- Getting Cozy Making a Cozy, the Cozy Podcast
- Descendents (Band)
- Ricky Jay
Notable Talking Points:
- Burrito is more sporty, the Taco more witty
- You can Trash Panda a Trash Panda
- There’s always a nitpicker