968 – Pizza Peel | Land of Tomorrow Ep 9

Notable Language:

• Bell Biv Devoe
• Ensconced
• De-tronic the Animatronic

Notable Culture:

• Ensconced in Wisconsin
• Zoomed into my Heart

Notable Talking Points:

• Basic Men’s Underwear or Men’s Basic Underwear?
• Spoiling the Game to Spoil the Show
• Offering a Deal to Pizza Peel

Episode 968 – Pizza Peel | Land of Tomorrow Ep 9

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and my patron peeps.  Hey patrons, have you checked out the…did I…this is a question; have I started the audio and written a newsletter?  Because today I’m gonna…I say Scoots, you’re gonna work on that?  I don’t know patrons, can you relate to that kinda stuff where you say you’re gonna work?  I don’t know why…so anyway, if you haven’t checked out our newsletter, patrons, and it exists, please don’t miss out ‘cause when it does exist, it’s gonna be a great way to keep in touch ‘cause really, the only ways I have to keep in touch with you are…is this audio feed and then the newsletter…that are effective.  Anyway patrons, what do you say we get on with the show?  Thanks for making it possible.

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, things on your mind that you’re thinking about, feelings, anything emotionally coming up for you.  It could be physical sensations.  So, it could be physical sensations, it could be changes in time or temperature or it could just be something…whatever; routine, outside noise.  Maybe you don’t even know why.

 

Whatever it is that’s keeping you awake or got you…that’s…whatever’s going on, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of that.  What I propose to do and what I’m going to attempt to do if you’re new is win…I can’t win you over in one episode.  That’s just not realistic but so, for the first episode, I’ll attempt to kinda bring you to neutrality.  Then I’m gonna…also at the same time I’m gonna…I got a safe place set aside.  I’m gonna smooth the safe place out, I’m gonna pat it, I’m gonna rub it down, I’m gonna say safe place and I’m gonna say it in honor of BBD and the east coast family.  I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.  BBD…is there…Bell Biv and DeVoe.  That’s what I was…BBDV.  There was a…once upon a time there was a men’s company called BVD, I think.  I wonder what that stood for.

 

Bell Biv DeVoe; that’s BBD but BVD, I think that was…well, I don’t know…I don’t mean to make you giggle this early but they were what is referred to as tighty-whities which is a form of men’s underwear that’s still a…oh boy, we’re talking about men’s underwear so early.  This is family-friendly, though.  I mean, don’t wear them around the house because that’s…I guess you’d…yeah, that’s not…but it was a form of men’s underwear that’s still very popular, I think.  So, I guess I don’t want to comment on it other than that because I say wait a second, I’m a…not only am I…that’s the underwear I wear, Scoots; I’m wearing BVDs and I say okay, well, I got a…I’m trying to get through a sleep podcast intro, so I gotta get off this topic as soon as I can.

 

I thought I was gonna talk about dice cups and not…that’s another thing that those companies would make; a undergarment that they would…protective wear, too.  Oh boy, next thing you know I’m gonna be saying ICUP because…but please don’t.  That was just pandering to the tweens in the audience.  I mean, think about it; if a tween is out there and they don’t have a parent that wears tighty-whities or a grandparent that stays with them or some sort of relative…we used to be exposed to tighty-whitey marketing.  I say what…not as much as sugared cereal and fast food back in the 80s, but that was a boom time for basic men’s underwear.  I don’t know…that’s…how am I…I’m supposed to be introducing a sleep podcast.

 

So, okay, so I’m gonna send my…yeah, I’m gonna try to create a safe place which I may have just…we’ll circle back…and send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents.  That was definitely a unnecessary…that was a superfluous tangent.  I had no idea even in…this is, whatever, this is probably a episode in the high 900s and I don’t think I’ve talked about that kinda underwear in 900-something…almost 1,000 episodes ‘til today, or dice cups.  So, I mean, that’s…there’s something new…that’s why I keep recording these podcast…my brain’s always got something new to make me blush.  Okay, so…oh, if you’re new, well, you’re new.  Welcome.  I try to be as welcoming as I can.

 

Now, the one thing to know is this podcast is not for everybody, clearly.  I mean, probably the Hanes family and the people that are entitled to the…Fruit of the Loom stockholders everywhere, they’re saying what in the…can’t…I said don’t worry; I moved it around.  Talk about…what is that called, common time or whatever you’re supposed to do in the news?  Yeah, no, don’t worry.  If you got a underwear company that sells basic men’s underwear…not underwear for basic men.  Don’t worry; I’m not judging.  I’m just saying that those are the companies I can think of right now.  I can see all you lined up at TJ Maxx because that’s where I see you the most.   Okay, so don’t worry, don’t worry; there’s other brands that are popping in my head for inclusion but I say can I just get to the sleep podcast that I make, please?

 

I don’t need to raise brand awareness for all undergarments at this time.  So, okay, oh boy, so this podcast is very different.  Clearly you’ve seen that already.  It’s not for everybody but if…it might…give it a few tries.  That’s what most listeners say, because it is just so…a little bit different and a little bit strange and you’ve probably heard a ton of different stuff to put you to sleep in the past.  That’s why this is different, but then it takes some getting used to because you don’t really listen to this episode…this podcast.  You just kind of barely pay attention to it.  So, that’s one thing.  The other thing…the other things to know is this is also not a podcast to put you to sleep.  My job is to keep you company while you fall asleep.

 

That’s why the shows are over an hour, to give you plenty of time to drift off, so then you can fall asleep at your leisure.  Ideally you’re barely listening to me and then the next thing you know, you’re awake tomorrow.  So, those are the other things.  The structure of the show is also different, so I want to tell you about that.  Show starts off with a greeting; ladies and gentlemen, friends beyond the binary, boys and girls, roleplayers everywhere, that kind of stuff.  That’s the greeting, then we go into supporter stuff, so sponsors and support for listeners.  Then there’s an intro which is around twelve to twenty-two minutes.  Lately they’ve been in the high twenty minutes but I’m trying to get them…I’m trying to reign them in a little bit.  But so, oh, and then after the intro is business.  That’s the main spot for podcast sponsors.

 

So, the intro sets you up to go to sleep, then we have the sponsors, then we have the bedtime story to put you to sleep.  Tonight it’ll be our episodically modular series Journey Into the Land of Tomorrow.  So, that’s the structure of the show.  Oh, and there’s thank-yous at the end and how we’re able to bring…bring it to you for totally free which is cool.  The other thing I want you to know is I make this show because you deserve a good night’s sleep.  I really believe that.  I really believe that the world will be a better place if you’re rested and you get the sleep you need.  Your world’s gonna be better, my world’s gonna be better, and if you get to the point where you flourish and you’re rested on a regular basis, that’s amazing too.  So, that’s important to me.

 

The other thing is I’ve been there tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, all those things.  Believe me, I’ll be thinking about that BVD thing for hours.  I’m trying to think of what initials I would do to have…I mean, it must be someone’s name or something because what else would…how would it have to do with BVD…what does it have to do with undergarments?  [00:10:00] Then somebody would say that was not a underwear company, Scoots.  I’d say oh, really?  Well, I guess I just imagined it, then.  But so, what was I saying?  Oh, I’ve been there, so if I can help you…not only do you deserve a good night’s sleep; I know how it feels to dread bedtime or to wonder about it, so that’s why I make the show.

 

I just realized I didn’t do a good job explaining the intro because one of the parts of the intro as you become a regular listener is that it becomes ideally part of your wind-down routine or your getting-ready-for-bed routine to help ease you into bedtime.  That’s why the intro is somewhere between twelve and twenty-five minutes, because I’ve just seen over the seven plus years I’ve been making this show that gives you some distance between the day and then the story ideally would be when you fall asleep.  People use the show tons of different ways.  So if you’re new, just kinda see how it goes.  Give the show a few tries.  Might not even work for you.  I’ll list other podcasts at sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou.  So yeah, that’s everything.

 

I mean, I didn’t think I would really…I’m trying to think of a way to get out of this…I don’t think I’ll be able to talk about dice cups, but those are the things…I guess they’re popular with Backgammon but the ones with the Backgammons are an oval so they can fit in a closed Backgammon case.  I think Scrabble probably had them.  I have a game…can’t remember what it’s called.  It doesn’t…it’s not called Quasar but that’s the word that popped in my head.  I think it’s some game…it’s some dice game.  That came in a cup.  I don’t know if it’s a velvet-lined cup.  Great question, imagination.  That was the next question my brain just asked; do you think…and I say no, I think that’s just a rubber plastic cup.  But you’re right; the dice must love being cloaked in velvet.  I mean, who wouldn’t?

 

You say if I became…if I was a dice, I would want to be a dice cloaked in velvet.  Well, not…I guess if I was cloaked in velvet, that’d be different ‘cause you say well, I can’t see the dice ‘cause it’s cloaked in velvet or it doesn’t roll.  It always rolls on one of three numbers because it’s cloaked in…I say no, no.  Ensconced…remember when I was talking about being ensconced in velvet or ensconced in something?  Is there a town in Wisconsin called Ensconce…Ensconced in…how about a movie, coming-of-age story; Ensconced in Wisconsin.  Any takers out there?  I really…Ensconced in Wisconsin.  You could even hear…this is A.O. Scott; I’m talking about…oh, I guess not.  Ensconced…it would be in print anyway.  Gotta go see it.  What’s the name of the movie?  Ensconced in Wisconsin.  Ensconced?  Yeah, like ensconced.

 

Rolls off the tongue.  Surprisingly, 98% of the time, ensconced in Wisconsin.  Talk about two words that feel perfectly weighted with one another.  I thought…oh boy, I gotta wrap this up though ‘cause…so, I’m glad you’re here.  I really hope I can help you fall asleep.  I really appreciate you checking this show out.  I work really hard.  I yearn and I strive.  I really want to help you fall asleep or just keep you company whether you’re awake or asleep, so thanks so much and here’s a couple of ways I’m able to be here for you free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, it’s Scoots here.  It’s time for our episodically modular serialized series of actual play which is a podcast where people are actually playing a game of…well, they’re not playing DnD.  They’re playing a game in another timeline or possibly our future, a game based on the Fifth Edition DnD rules which I think to them they said wow, those rules really worked, or maybe…I don’t know.  I don’t know the context of that.  But this game is called…this show is called Journey Into the Land of Tomorrow.  It’s a group of friends playing a roleplaying game and you and I just kinda get to join them there.  It’ll be nice.  Just sit there and listen to them play.  Pretty nice.

 

Because it’s episodically modular, the characters themselves actually have to get caught up on the game…where the game is at, so you really don’t miss anything.  If you want to listen…if this is your first episode, then you could just listen to the older episodes and say oh, those are the prequels.  So, that’s what’s nice about that.  What else?  I think that’s it.  It’s a fun series.  You could listen to it any order, very sleepy, and of course, we have our Hollywood announcer here by way of…zoomed his way here.  You zoomed your…can you make a movie called…maybe you could make a rom-com; Zoomed Into My Heart.  That’s probably already getting made, huh?  You’ve zoomed your…Antonio, you’ve zoomed your way into my heart and that’s…so, without further ado, ladies and gentlemen…oh, sorry, that’s your line.

 

Without further ado, Mr. Antonio Banderas.  Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, game-players everywhere, it’s time to roll the dice.  It’s time.  You know, I like rolling dice with Scooter in more ways than one; actually rolling dice.  Not in a roleplaying game but we play the role of…I play the role of Scooter’s friend.  You may know me from previous roles I’ve played, famous roles like Scooter’s Friend #1.  Scooter just said #2 which I don’t think is funny.  But without further ado, I present to you Journey Into the Land of Tomorrow.  Clickety-clackety, the dice goes into the future.  Whoosh.

 

Alright everybody, this is your Dungeon Master.  Let’s get playing.  Zell, you’re up on recap.  Okay, okay, but can we just talk about what all of us witnessed last night?  Can we…do we have to start or can we get settled in?  You know, it’s my role as DM to keep this game on track and I’d say can you just do the recap and then…we’re scheduled to start the game.  Okay, well, so as I start our recap of our…okay, I’ll do the recap, where we’re at, place-setting for all my fellow adventurers.  I’m Zell who…a warrior, a fighter that all of you refer to as a working class warrior which just means I’m not from a privileged background which doesn’t necessarily always mean something negative even though some people have some negative connotations with it.  It’s just a fact.  Yes, I could use another term other than privileged.

 

Like our other warrior, soldier, fighter Lord von Chill, and yeah, we’re the most heavily…ready for…we lead the charge though we don’t always lead it, but if people need to be up front it could be me, Zell, or Lord von Chill.  We also have a Florencian nurse who’s quite hardy in battle known as Eleanor.  She serves the three Florences and she’s robust in a battle-based situation.  We also have Lord von Chill’s assistant or sidekick or hireling, depending on how you want to describe it, but I think he’s become a member of our party and that’s nimble of finger, fleet of foot, Grenada of Darmok, a member of the Thieves Guild but I think if he’s stolen anything, it’s my respect for someone I’ll no longer call any of those other terms.  A full member of our party, in my opinion.  Another full member of our party but a little bit more…in a different situation is our magic-user.

 

They are quiet and they’ve been dependable though we’ve had mixed interactions.  But we’ve come to all respect…but also was originally played by someone who swore they would never play a game with us again because of something that was between Lord von Chill, I, and the form…one of our former players, the two people we used to play with, one of whom was replaced by Eleanor but our magic-user, because they made the choice to bow out even more last-minute is being played by our DM whose first-time DMing is going pretty well even thought they’re trying to balance playing [00:20:00] both kind of an NPC but also a member of our adventuring party that I’ll stay on track saying and we’re here in the Land of Tomorrow, a land in a giant theme park from the before-time, long since closed and abandoned.

 

But parties of other adventurers both…well, we’ve come across the leftovers of parties of adventurers that are good.  We’re here tasked by the Wizard’s Council to find a portal…magical portal to another world and to seal it up.  We’re also right now finding some artifacts that we will use to seal the portal.  It’s a portal to another world, a magical realm.  If someone was to gain control of that portal, they could have untold power or it could just be chaos coming in and out of our world if someone doesn’t close it up.  You say well, what if someone…you know what I mean.  That’s what our job is.  Our job is not to overthink it.  Thus far, we’ve been working our way through this area of the theme park.

 

We know that there’s as couple giant…or definitely at least one giant steam-being patrolling around that we’ve had to avoid.  We found a gem that has brought us to where we are right now within the Progress Tower, a multi-level hotel and attraction complex that was supposed to open in the future of this past place.  We just successfully defeated some of the animatronics from the queue of this attraction; teens, tweens, and it was quite a battle.  But there’s also a magical darkness that doesn’t enclose the whole tower but the majority of this tower, though we found ourselves on the edge of the magical darkness.  We know we have to work our way to the top.

 

We suspect that if we get to the top, that we can find a staff that this gem goes with, then we just need the headpiece and we’ll have everything we need to close the magical portal.  I think that’s it.  We’re here.  We just had a short rest, so we may have recovered some of our hit points, and the DM is nodding.  Also as a player, I do have to mention that I had this dream last night as Zell, the character within this game, that around a world, all of these people were watching the season finale of the Scourge of the Eleven Seas, the famous program that we all love so much, and that no one could believe how the season ended, and with a twist that I don’t want to spoil but does anyone else have…did anyone else have a shared dream?  I feel like we had a shared dream.  Oh, I…this is Lord von Chill here.

 

I could not believe that they made that choice with the series.  I mean, were they supposed to be separated?  I mean, were they related?  I didn’t quite…I was totally flabbergasted but I also don’t think I totally understood it even though I was watching it with you, Zell.  It was a dream, remember?  ‘Cause the DM’s got rules.  We gotta keep this in-world.  Even though it’s the DM’s favorite show…I had a dream that there was someone called DM.  Okay, this is the DM; I didn’t watch it so I don’t know what dream you’re…I didn’t watch, so please don’t spoil it.  Actually, I don’t even care anyway.  What do you mean you didn’t watch it?  Why wouldn’t you have watched it last night?  You didn’t get…we had a watch party.  You didn’t even return any of our texts.  You didn’t…we tried to invite you.  You didn’t get back to any of us.

 

I was occupied writing this…going over, making sure the game was gonna be good tonight.  So, you chose to work on this game versus hanging out with us and watching what was probably the most spectacular season finale of the Scourge of the Eleven Seas since last season’s season finale?  Well, I also like to watch alone but yeah, I wanted to work on the game.  But it was kinda like a…that was like a group experience watching that.  Really, I wish you would have been there.  Okay, well, I wasn’t there.  Can we go on with this game, though?  Well, aren’t you worried about getting spoiled even though we won’t spoil you?  Is it spoiling you to talk about how great it was?  It is; it’s spoiling the game that we’re supposed to be playing.  Wow, are you okay?  Because I don’t remember you…is everything okay?

 

I mean, did this…I realize…I appreciate the work you put into this module.  I’m just trying to keep things on time, really.  I know other players had maybe spoken to me about…time…us not being on time.  Oh yeah?  Who spoke to the DM about not being on time?  Lord von Chill here; I mean, I’ve told…every time I’m running late I say I’m gonna be late and then the DM says I gotta be on time.  So, is that what you mean?  Okay, you’re right; let’s just move on.  Sorry, I’m just trying to keep my role as DM.  Okay, that’s fine.  So, Zell here; I guess I’m leading this night…tonight’s action.  Alright, so everybody…so, we’re here on the level of this attraction where the spinner ride is, Jets of Rocketeering or something.  I don’t know what it was called.

 

I know some of you do but…and so, the tower’s still cloaked in magical darkness so I’d like to see Watta, what you think of the magical darkness.  Grenada, is there a way to get up?  We kinda know what’s waiting for us, right?  So, these were the children that…so, their animatronic parents or grandparents will be waiting for us on the next level.  Can everybody see what they see with regards to magic and how we could best go upstairs and kind of avoid the magical darkness or use it as cover?  Okay, this is Grenada of Darmok here and I just rolled…that’s a pretty high roll, so what do I see?  Okay, you see a ladder that is out on the edge of the…so, this platform was still under construction, so this seems to be some sort of ladder that does go up.  It looks like it does go up to the next level.

 

I mean, it’s about five stories above you and alls you can see is the decorate…you can’t really see much but it would be probably some sort of service thing.  It’s off and it’s…yeah, it’s pretty far away from the magical darkness on the edge of the platform for unloading and unloading, where typically no one could go because…you know what I mean?  It’s on the edge.  Okay, so it’s on the edge there, but is…have I discovered the ladder is climbable and structurally sound?  Yeah, you determine that it’s structurally sound.  As long as you hold on or use the safety type…okay, we’ll be safe on it.  Watta, what do you think about this magical darkness?  This is Emwatta; this magical darkness I am a little bit concerned…it is waning.  It’s still magical darkness.  It would be difficult for us to see.

 

It’s not as powerful as it was a few hours ago but for it to be continuing like this, really I cannot determine…I mean, maybe it’s…I don’t…I can’t quite wrap my head around how it’s being generated.  Even though it’s…maybe it’s going down in power; it usually wouldn’t just slowly fade out but I’m guessing that it could slowly fade out but it’s not faded out enough where if we go into it, we will not be able to see.  My sense is if we tried to use a counter…if I tried to use a counter spell or if Eleanor did, I’m not sure it would be effective.  So, I would say I defer to Grenada and the party’s decision.  Okay, this is Zell here; so, we have a magical darkness, very strong.  We don’t know what its source is, so that’s something to keep an eye on.  We’re gonna climb up this ladder.  I think that we’re all in agreement on that.

 

Why don’t we send Grenada up alone?  Grenada, are you comfortable with that?  Total…as stealthily as you can and see what you see?  I’d be happy to do that but I’ll call you up because I don’t want to come back down and then go back up.  That would be not a good use of my energy.  Okay, that’s fine.  So, Grenada climbs up the ladder with stealth and…okay, DM; Grenada climbs up the ladder with stealth, very [00:30:00] stealthily, very fleet of foot and nimble of finger.  Also, I used a safety rope for…with…okay, you were safe.  You get to the top, to the next level, and this is an old-fashioned swing ride, though…that you may have seen pictures of before.  It would spin around with these swings; everybody sits in a chair tied to chains around a central column with a canopy.

 

The difference is that when this starts to swing, you would be out over the edge of Progress Tower and also that there’s…would be…there’s supposed to be hotel rooms that would have a view of this and the lobby.  You’re at the far edge.  Again, the swings would swing out, they’re hanging not that far above your…they’re about down to your chin or your chest from what you could guesstimate from your hiding spot on the ladder.  You see magical darkness that goes about halfway across the platform, so half the ride is cloaked in magical darkness in the rest of the building.  You definitely sense something or you feel something in your gut but you’re pretty stealthy, so even though you feel something in your gut, you’re pretty sure that…you feel confident that you…’cause you rolled a high…you know, you rolled a eighteen, so…okay, so nothing can see me but I can’t see anything other than the ride.

 

So, hm, I guess I would sit up here and wait for my party to brainstorm an idea because I can’t brainstorm with them.  Zell?  Thanks, Grenada of Darmok.  Yeah, we should…Grenada of Darmok’s waiting for us.  Does anybody have any ideas?  Eleanor, you’ve been quiet.  Yeah, I mean, my sense is that the animatronics again won’t have any sort of ability to battle over a distance, so what I’m thinking is that we go up, we try to get into the…it would be good to know…it sounded like we could get into the swings and maybe we have some distance, but maybe that draws them out, also.  Maybe we pretend we’re gonna get in the swings for fun.  We act oblivious and then when they come out…because it’s chin-level, so the animatronics would be able to have an exchange with us, right?

 

Then we use our…is there a way we could hook our…we all have grappling hooks and ropes; is there a way for us to hook our ropes onto something and pull ourselves…using some sort of safety technique pull the swings…oh, also it would be a question of are the swings structurally sound?  We should figure that out.  But then we would be at a distance of the animatronics and then we could just pick them off with our distance, just like last time.  Lord von Chill here; I agree with that idea fully.  We all…I think we could do that.  We could just…if we all grab onto two swings, we don’t even need grappling hooks.  We get into one set of swings, sit down, and then push swings to other people and then grab the chain of the other swing and pull ourselves out at a distance and see if we could hook our swings or something or use our feet in the other set of swings, and then we’ll be free to deal with the animatronics.

 

Okay.  Watta, you have any thoughts?  I’m interested to see the shape of the magical darkness up there but I agree with the plan.  I think it’s a good plan.  The only other idea would be if we use one person as bait if it doesn’t work.  Okay.  You’re thinking you’re gonna use me as bait, huh, Watta?  No, I didn’t say that.  Okay, let’s do that plan and…so, we’ll all get up…climb up to the ladder, wait at the last minute at the ladder, tell Grenada the plan, then run to the swings.  Why don’t Lord von Chill and I go last in case the animatronics are waiting for us or something, then get in the swings and then go?  Sounds good, everybody?  Okay, so we’re gonna do that plan.  We’re all in consensus.  Okay, DM here; so, okay, let me just roll some dice here.  Okay, let me roll some of these.  So, I think I understand your plan.

 

I’m just doing a couple pieces more math.  Okay, and plus…carry the one…what is that?  Plus…okay.  Zell here; why are you doing so much math for our plan?  Shouldn’t it just be one constitution roll or strength roll or dexterity roll?  I’m just…excuse me, I’m the DM right now.  Okay, alright…alright, so, okay, here’s how it goes…okay, why did you do so many rolls, though?  Okay, here’s how it goes; so, Grenada, you all climb up, Grenada first, and you’re all on the platform.  Grenada tries to climb onto a swing first.  No problem; swings up.  Then Watta, then Eleanor all get up and start swinging, grabbing other swings.  At first it makes a lot of noise and is very awkward but eventually Grenada gets it because of Grenada’s dexterity and says oh, just hook your feet into another swing and then twist the swing.

 

Grenada figures out a pretty easy plan to swish and twist another swing with your feet and then that shortens the thing on the other swing.  That pulls you up successfully.  You definitely…Watta also notices that the darkness is just barely lighter and that there does seem to be a set of animatronics waiting but they don’t do anything until…one of you is gonna have to go last.  Who’s gonna go last?  Lord von Chill; I’ll go last.  No, I’ll go last, Lord von Chill.  It’s my…okay, so I climb up.  Okay, so Lord von Chill climbs up and then you see the animatronics come out but Zell, you still have time to climb up if you decide to.  Okay, then I decide to.  Okay, and then the animatronics come out and they’re…then I roll…then I already rolled for initiative; that was part of the math I was doing.

 

It’s a mother, a father, and a puppy dog animatronics.  They come out below you.  What do you call it?  The initiative is Eleanor, Grenada, the father figure, Lord von Chill, Zell, the puppy, the…oh no, the father figure…the mother figure was earlier.  I messed that up, and then Watta.  Okay, and so, they’re trying to jump up and get us, is that right?  Yeah, so they’re coming at you under you but they’re still walking, so you could all go first.  Eleanor; sixteen.  Does…oh yeah, so Eleanor…sorry, I got ahead of myself.  So, who are you gonna go after?  Oh, the mother figure if she’s first.  This is Eleanor.  Everyone in agreement?  Yeah, that sounds good.  Okay, so Eleanor, you get…you do six on the mother.  Grenada, you miss.  Lord von Chill, you do nine on…with your bow or javelin, sorry.  Thank you for getting that correct.

 

I have three javelins, correct?  Yes.  Thanks for letting me know that.  Zell, you miss.  You get a six.  Believe…okay, then Watta…no, Watta three, so you miss.  Okay.  Okay, so then they get below you and they’re jumping…they’re trying to jump up.  Right now they’re below.  The mom’s below Zell and the dog is below Lord von Chill, and the dad is below Zell.  Okay.  Can we keep going?  Yeah, so this time Eleanor misses.  Grenada, you do six on the mother figure.  Okay, so that’s…okay, and then the mom actually does grab Zell’s foot successfully, and then manages to swipe up [00:40:00] on your leg; does four.  Lord von Chill, you end up with the mom after that.  The mom ceases to exist.  You use a javelin and detronic the animatronic.  Zell misses.  The dog…the puppy dog actually does get Lord von Chill’s ankle; does four.

 

The dad misses.  Watta casts thunderwave which does…works on the dad and the dog and does eight and pushes them back, though they come right back, moving forward.  Next round; Eleanor plus two…oh, does another six on the father figure.  I’m gonna use my sneak attack — Grenada here — if I can.  Okay, so you got…then you got eighteen, so you got six.  So, okay, the father figure’s a bit in trouble.  Let’s see, mom…or, mom’s gone.  Okay, Lord von Chill…okay, Lord von Chill misses.  Zell…okay, Zell does eight more.  The dog; eighteen and four…does four more on Lord von Chill.  The dad…oh, the dad does four on Zell.  Watta…oh, didn’t Watta just go or was that earlier?  I’m sorry, I’m mixed up now.  No, yeah, Watta does four.  Another thunderwave; four on each one.  Okay, these have a lot of hit points, don’t they?

 

The dog does not, so the dog has only been hit by…well, it’s been twelve, so yeah, the dog’s not…have a lot left.  It had eighteen, I think.  Twelve…four…twelve plus four…sixteen, so four left.  The dad has an indeterminate amount of hit points left.  Okay.  Okay, so next round.  What is that?  Oh, okay.  Eleanor; fourteen.  Wow, so this is a effective round.  Grenada and Lord von Chill, you all kinda strike…all successfully right in a row hit the dad, so the dad just crumbles into a bunch of bolts.  Then Zell, you send the puppy to…wow, this is a successful round of rolling…to…oh no, wait…yeah, right as you do send the puppy to the big farm, two more run out of the darkness and start running around back and forth.  Okay, this is Zell; so, we’re in pretty good shape though, so let’s just take…should we just keep going?

 

Can we…do we need to re-roll for initiative?  No, this again was part of my math.  Oh, ‘cause you just paused in a weird way.  I don’t think I did but yeah, so you’re already ready for initiative, so do you want to…are you ready?  Yeah.  This is Zell though; let’s hold off on any more magic, Watta, just in case because these dogs don’t…we know that they have sixteen hit points, so is everybody in agreement?  Yes, I’m in agreement.  Okay, so you all are engaging the dogs and I’ll just tell you that as you’re engaging the dogs and battling with them and picturing yourself aiming and that, you’re unaware that above you on the overhang of the ride where the…where your seats are attached are other animatronic figures.  They start spinning your chairs around.

 

You can’t see up because you weren’t even aware of it ‘til it starts to happen and then one of you…Eleanor is the only one that has the wherewithal to look up and sees that some animatronic arms are just down there swinging, swinging, swinging.  Okay.  This is Zell; so, we’re getting swung around.  Is there any way we could grab onto anything?  Or are our feet attached?  Yeah, so you’re kinda discombobulated.  During the time you’re discombobulated…now, don’t worry because I’m just gonna tell you this; you’re a few feet above the ground, right?  Eventually all of your chairs drop to the ground and all of you lose focus temporarily.  You go to sleep in a sense.  Wait, do we go to sleep in a sense, all of us?  I’ve never even heard of that happening in an adventure.  Well, that’s what happened.

 

You don’t know because you’re not…you’re asleep.  You’re resting with your eyes closed.  Yeah, but that doesn’t just happen.  Right; it didn’t just happen.  It happened but it didn’t just happen.  I roll…I did plenty of rolling.  Alright, well, so we’re all…so what happens next?  So, what happens next is that eventually all of you slowly come to.  You’ve all taken…not too bad…I can list it or I could just give you a overview and we can get into the specifics later, but between six and four of damage from your falls.  So, you’re bruised but you wake up slowly, each one of you, and you’re all attached with the chains from the ride and other stuff to stanchions and you feel like the air…and as you look around you realize that you’re at the top of Progress Tower.

 

Now, there is an antenna tower towering above that another five or six feet, and then you see in front of you the parents and the grandparents but also a wizard in a velvet…dark velvet…you can’t tell if it’s night sky blue or what…looking at you.  A wizard?  This is Zell; how’s everybody doing?  Is everybody okay?  I believe that what was said that we’re okay, which…I’m bruised and just coming to and I don’t know what’s happening.  Yeah, this is Zell; I’m just wondering about the rules of this.  I never heard of anything happening like this in an adventure I’ve been in before.  But so, can I try to get out of my bonds?  You try but you’re unable to.  Watta, do you know who this wizard is?  I don’t but I…what do you want…hello?  What do you want from us?  Who are you and what is it you’re…who are you?  I’m Emwatta.

 

I’m here at the behest of the Wizard’s Council and those who stand opposed to the Wizard’s Council will probably suffer their wrath, so I don’t…it’d be best if you just free my fellow adventurers and I.  Also, we’re really good adventurers, so eventually we’ll probably figure out a way to get out.  I noticed your magical…whatever, your magical darkness; it didn’t really make sense.  I’m guessing you’re some sort of high-level wizard, so you would know better than to mess with the Wizard’s Council.  But also, I just was trying to figure that magical darkness out.  I can see it’s fading and fading.  Also, it seems like your animatronics are looking a little ragged or something, like worn down.  Ah, thank you, Emwatta.  I am Piza Peel, a wizard, and you are now…I have the advantage over you, so I’ll do the asking, but I did answer that.

 

I am Piza Peel and it’s good that I have all of you here because I’ve seen you poking around and yes, I did cast partially.  I didn’t just cast; I channeled some magic to create that darkness that enveloped the building.  Unfortunately I couldn’t envelope the whole building.  Also, it’s just a thing for me; I didn’t want to envelope all the edges and then if some reason…that would just be a bad idea for me.  I mean, I am human; I’m a powerful, powerful wizard and we’re in a powerful place.  I know you’re [00:50:00] here at the behest of the Wizard’s Council.  I know everything about all of you.  Florencian, Darmoks, and royal and working warrior with dreams of change, and you, Emwatta, an apprentice.  I know what you’re in search of and I am here to put a stop to it but I noticed you have a magical ward over you, Emwatta.

 

So, I…but I need what you have in order to…I can’t…I can feel the magical portal but I think there’s also some…you must know something that I don’t know.  So, I have you here.  Now, before you speak and I can see you and your companions looking at one another, know that you’re attached to the water tower which is attached to the electronics tower which is attached to those rods of lightning up there.  That’s how I’ve been…it’s a part of the magic and where we are here in this tropical, wet area…it’s a little bit late right now but usually there’s an afternoon thunderstorm that comes along.  So, we could just sit here and wait for it and see how it goes, Emwatta.  You and your friends…and then when you’re no longer here, your magical ward will no longer be there, and then I can search you and find what I’m looking for, a gem.

 

Then I’ll just take it.  Or you could make some kind of deal because I could use someone like you, maybe all of you.  Okay, this is Zell; I have a question, Emwatta.  What is a magical ward?  This is Emwatta; Zell, that’s a good question.  So, I put a magical ward over the things I have on me that Piza Peel’s asking about; some objects, and…so Piza Peel can’t take them just from me.  It’s actually not my magical ward; it was given to me.  It’s complicated but basically the Wizard’s Council predicted this would happen if we started collecting the artifacts, and…so, they gave me a way to protect it so no one can take the artifacts from me without me giving it to them or…at least Piza Peel’s under the impression but the incorrect impression that…Piza Peel’s under the incorrect impression that if I’m no longer here then the ward will be broken, but it’s not my ward to break, Piza Peel.

 

It’s only my ward to unlock, so it won’t be unlocked if I’m not here.  So, that’s what Piza Peel wants.  Piza Peel clearly…I don’t know.  What do you want?  What’s your offer for us knowing that now…knowing that information, Piza Peel?  Emwatta, very funny.  Well, that doesn’t change my offer ‘cause you haven’t seen…have you seen a thunderstorm?  Or you’ve been inside most of the time in the attraction, so maybe you haven’t seen what it looks like from this…the roof of this Tower of Progress.  You haven’t feel…felt it channeled through you.  There’s gonna be electricity; you’re on the water towers I guess that they built at the roof of this building for balance during winds and for passive cooling.  So, yeah, I won’t need the ward…whatever the protection is you have.

 

It’ll be gone because so much magic is going to go through there, so much power.  Now, I can’t gain quite control over the power and I know you’re a wizard interested in power, Watta.  I know some of you are interested in doing good or making your families proud or search of other things, the glory and the light of the three Florences.  All of that could be done.  I guess what they haven’t told any of you, even you, Watta, is that you don’t just need to close off this portal; the portal could be managed.  I could sense it; I just can’t control it just yet.  If I have that gem that I’m looking for…and I must have to suspect that the lightning rod up there is what you’re here for and that’s what’s made me so powerful, more powerful…I’m already a high-level magic-user.

 

If I can get those two things, then the last thing, you see, I can find that portal.  We can manage it and manage it for good, you know?  You say oh, Piza Peel, that’s bologna.  You’re just caught up with your ego.  I’d say okay, well, let’s just wait out the thunderstorm and I can go on without all of you.  Okay, this is Zell; everybody’s gonna have to make their own decision, clearly, but I cannot agree to this plan or that we won’t be double-crossed anyway.  I want to try one more time for all of us to get out of our bonds and see what we could do.  Lord von Chill; I can’t agree.  This person is full of hot air and I have to think there’s a way to get out of this.  Grenada of Darmok; I’d like to use my nimble of fingers to do something.  This is Eleanor; yeah, I can’t agree.  The three Florences wouldn’t stand for this.

 

The three Florences want to protect this world and a overlap of some magical world is not…it’s not in any of the teachings so I can’t imagine…there’s…the Wizard’s Council didn’t choose us to think about what to do.  They chose us to complete a mission.  Okay, this is Emwatta; I guess I’m gonna disagree with all of you.  I’m gonna offer Piza Peel that…I’ll offer you a deal.  Okay, Watta.  What’s your deal?  Let us go and then see if you can get the gem from us, ‘cause it doesn’t look like your…your storm’s delayed or something.  I can see the clouds on the horizon but…oh, well, the storms come very fast, Emwatta, and I’m not really in the mood for these games.  I could wait all day.  You all tried to roll to get out and I forgot to say that that was a failure.  So, you’re the ones that are gonna have to make a choice; not me.

 

Okay, I’ll tell you what, because there’s something you don’t even realize and I think you were gonna go on a talk about maybe making this into our own world and some utopia.  Just so you know, there’s other people trying to get in here and even you wouldn’t stand a chance against them.  They’re searching other parts of the theme park and if you were gonna do that…and may…they may have even taken over sentience of other…there’s other people and other powers at work here other than just you, Piza Peel, but I have something that we could use to create defenses and actually to charge up your things.  I have this…you probably don’t even know about this magical wrench we found.

 

So, we could create a whole defense force to defend your kingdom, the whole theme park eventually, and make it into a world where we could all live under the Florences and those things.  But you know, just let my friends go and I’ll give you the wrench, but I don’t…I mean, the wrench…now I want the wrench for sure, Watta, but I don’t want…I want the gem and the lightning rod.  Well, I have to wonder why you haven’t got the lightning rod already.  Never mind…never mind you that.  Well, no, no; why didn’t you get the lightning rod?  Is that because of the magical darkness?  You don’t want to be too close to the edge?  You don’t want to…you can’t climb up there, huh, Piza Peel?  The storm’s coming, Watta.  Yeah, but if you can’t get up there, what are you gonna do?

 

Well, I was hoping one of you would volunteer to go up there and get it, so yeah.  That didn’t work out so hot for me.  So, I guess we’re at an impasse now.  We are at an impasse.  Here’s what I’ll offer you; I’ll go up there and get the rod and I’ll hold the rod and the gem, [01:00:00] and eventually we’ll get the headpiece.  We’ll go to the magical portal and I’ll…while we’re doing that, I will send my party to send a message to the Wizard’s Council to make a proposal on your behalf and maybe they’ll let you manage this portal or at least they’ll be aware of it.  Why would I agree to any of that?  I mean, you could…okay, I’ll be your apprentice; how about that?  This is Zell; is there any…excuse me, excuse me Zell, this is Piza Peel.  I’ve got a better idea.  You could be my apprentice.  I like that idea.

 

Oh, so you…you’re kind of just saying if I let your friends go…you want to give them a mission so that they can get outta here.  Now, whether they go to the Wizard’s Council or not is irrelevant to me, I guess.  So, I guess I will make this deal if you could prove yourself now, Zell, because I see the storm coming closer.  So if you could get to the top and get that lightning rod, you can do whatever you want.  I mean, as far as working for me.  Leave me the wrench and the gem and if you get down here, then maybe we can talk about letting your friends go but we could definitely work together.  Okay, I’m not gonna leave you the gem.  I’ll leave you the wrench and I’ll climb up and…this is Zell; why would you climb up?  The storm’s coming.  Well, because we gotta get…just trust me please, Zell.  Okay, let’s just do it.

 

I’m gonna use my magic to release your bonds.  Please give me the wrench.  Place it in front of you because I am very powerful.  This is Zell; what if he’s the wizard that doesn’t have any power?  No, I guess he does have powers.  Yeah, let me handle it, Zell.  Here’s the wrench.  I’m gonna keep the gem and then I’m gonna start climbing up here, so I begin to climb and I roll eighteen, so I’m successfully climbing up.  I also roll another dice…okay, the storm’s coming very fast.  Okay, one more thing, Zell; okay, this is Piza Peel.  One more thing; I’m gonna have to use my spells against you while you try to climb.  I didn’t mention that until you started climbing and now you’re too high to change your mind, Watta.  Okay, well, I’m just gonna ignore you while I try to climb.  Okay, so you’re…what are you using against me?

 

I’m using lightning…ice to make it slippery.  Okay, this is Zell; okay, the only thing I can think of is that we have to do something without doing something while this wizard…so, can we use persuasion or can we use our words?  We all…some of us have strong persuasion or intimidation.  Can we use those against the wizard to interrupt the flow of magic?  Yes you can, and you successfully do…let’s see, how do we do this each round?  I guess we’ll just roll each round.  Yeah, first round…what are you doing?  We’re making fun of the wizard and giving the wizard a hard time.  Then we’ll try to wait and see how this plays out.  Okay, so the wizard is distracted.  Okay, so each time…each round…each kind of story as Zell…Watta climbs, the wizard tries to cast a spell.  You use intimidation and persuasion to distract the wizard.

 

The wizard gets frustrated each and every time a little bit more.  The storm gets closer each and every time a little bit more ‘til on the fourth round you could almost feel the electricity in the air; not just from the storm but from the wizard.  At that point the wizard decides that the wizard’s had enough with all of you and also is pretty confident that the storm is gonna…that the storm’s coming very close for Watta.  The wizard turns the wizard’s attention to you but is also trying to pay attention for Zell as it starts to rain and the wind picks up.  You can even hear it, the storm getting closer.  You count one supercalifragilistic, two supercalifragilistic, and you say wait a second, we didn’t even get through one of those.

 

As the wizard turns the wizard’s attention to you…so, it plays out like that, slowly though; I’m trying to give you the summary.  You’re all struggling with your bonds.  You’re watching Watta and the wizard.  Watta gets to the top.  The storm arrives right as Watta gets to the top.  The wizard is laughing and saying never mind; you’re…because then you realize that oh wait, the stanchions you’re connected to are metal and wet.  You say great; I don’t understand how electricity works but probably not good.  The wizard casts some sort of anti-electric shield dome over the wizard and the animatronics but Watta is also starting to…even though over the storm you hear the booming of Watta’s voice.  One of you starts to remember that wait, isn’t Watta’s power based in water?

 

You feel the water…the tower…the water tower that you’re in begin to shake and then you see the tops blow off of the water holders or whatever.  Then as the storm arrives, you see the water shoot out of the towers above all of you and splash down on the wizard and the animatronics, and it washes them away, right over where the wizard didn’t want to go, from the top of the tower and right…then though, it also…the storm hits in the strongest way possible so you’re losing sight of stuff except you detect that not only is the water getting the wizard…the wizard thought it was gonna cast featherfall or something.  It’s not gonna happen.  The wizard has totally gone Borneo, like from the storm and the water combined.

 

You look up at Watta and what you think you see is Watta holding the staff above Watta but you say is that Watta or water?  Then the storms…the storm makes one more thing but keeps blowing very fast.  Watta’s gone but also you notice that the magical bonds have failed because the wizard’s gone.  Luckily you were attached to the stanchion, so you weren’t washed away.  Then you kind of all are just panting in the midst of the storm at first until it blows over very quickly.  That is it.  Okay, this is Grenada of Darmok; where is Watta?  Okay, as the storm clears you don’t see anything but then you see a pool of water with the gem and the staff that Watta had gotten lying there.  Okay, can I…Zell, you’re in charge; sorry.

 

Alright, I go over to the water to get the gem and the staff, I guess, and maybe I’ll say some words about Watta.  Okay, as you go over to the staff and the gem, Watta materializes, no longer a humanoid but some sort of a water being and looks at you and says I think it’s time all of us took a long rest.  We can talk more later.  Let’s head down a few levels and recover.  Okay.  This is Zell; wow, that was…I’ve never been on an adventure like that.  So, you spent all that time writing that, huh?  This is Lord von Chill; that was cool.  Even though we didn’t have a lot of action, we did have to do something.  Yeah, this is Eleanor; that was pretty cool.  I mean, it was more of a story than a…but is that to set up something or was that necessary?  Oh, thank you.

 

I was just…listen, I’ll be honest; I mean, I worked on that a lot so yeah, I’m sorry that it maybe interrupted the flow of the game.  [01:10:00] I’m just also apologizing for my attitude.  So, last week when you had that party for Lord…for Tyreek and you didn’t invite me, it really bothered me even though I know you would have invited me if you felt like I was open to an invitation.  I realized you didn’t invite me because we have this DM-player relationship and that’s it, but I would like to be friends with all of you and not just DnD friends.  But I was afraid to say that, so I kinda took it out on the game.  So, I’m sorry.  Apology accepted.  Yeah, no, no, it’s okay.  We were wondering what was going on with you.  Yeah, this is Zell; we were…we didn’t invite you ‘cause I guess you have that shy…you know what, confusion, but we’re sorry too.

 

So, let’s go do something other…let’s let our characters rest and we’ll go do something together.  How’s that sound?  Like, go get something to eat?  This is Lord von Chill; what if we sit down and watch Scourge of the Eleven Seas together?  Would you like that?  Yeah, I think I would.  Okay, let’s do that.  Goodnight, everybody.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

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