963 – Spice Week | Great British Baking Off to Sleep S9/C6 E5
Terry sings you off to sleep while biscuit chandler gently sways like a mobile soothing you off to dreamland.
- Surfing-Based Community (SBC)
- Fern Fronds
- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air
- Point Break
- The Jetsons
Notable Talking Points:
- Bel Air, Wisconsin
- What is Stem Ginger?
- Some Really Grounded, Emotional Closing Moments
Episode 963 – Spice Week | Great British Baking Off to Sleep S9/C6 E5
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: [INTRO MUSIC] Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, and all my patrons, you’re my Star Bakers, patrons, ‘cause I wouldn’t be able to bake this cake without you. It’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast to put you to sleep.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever is keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time or temperature or whatever it is, so stuff that can be on your mind that you’re thinking about; past, present, or future. It could be anything you’re experiencing emotionally coming up for you or feeling physically, or it could just be some change or just some situation.
Just like the Fresh Prince once said…I think this was before he was just the…you know, he was just the Fresh Prince of…I think he was the…he wasn’t just the Fresh Prince of course, but wasn’t he the Fresh Prince of Philly? I’m pretty sure. My brother lives in Philly. Then he became…then he was on a TV show called The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. I wonder…here’s a question, honest question; did Will Smith ever live in Bel-Air? I mean, he could have for sure, or not. I mean, you’d say well, that would be…that’s an interesting thing. Or was it a contractual requirement? ‘Cause a young Will Smith, you’d say okay, as part of my contract, if I’m…you the studio or the production company, yeah, it’s not part of my compensation. It’s part of the research budget.
What if that…that could be something I could pitch…that would be the kind of misguided idea to come up with. I say well, I’d like to live in Bel-Air for free, so what if we remake…I’m thinking about writing a sleep…I mean, this would…there’s no budget for this obviously but one day in the future when sleep podcasts rule supreme I’ll say yeah, well, I need a budget. Yeah, well, oh, you’re interested? Okay; my new…my latest project’s called…well, first of all, you have to have a budget to get the IP for Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Then I need to do research probably for a few years. A swimming pool…this is gonna be definitely with a swimming pool and water features and water slides too, so don’t think you could get tricky on this. But yeah, it’s gonna be…it’s…I’m gonna be in Bel-Air.
Oh, Bel-Air…that would be the one where they’d get me. I’d say oh, Bel-Air, Wisconsin. Well, let me check…’cause I’d say well, you still paid for it, right? It has the pool and the water features? Well, I’ll still check it…is that anywhere near the Dells? Because this could be a win-win situation. Oh, sorry; if you’re listening to this podcast, holy mackerel, I went off-topic right on time and early. So, whatever’s keeping you awake, I’m here to take your mind off of that. What I’m proposing to do is to create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, like I said. I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night, I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, I’m gonna go off-topic and…obviously; I mean, you already saw that.
Meander…you say wait a second, did any of that even make any sense? Except for the part…a lot of you are wondering and some of you are maybe even Googling ‘cause you’re listening…you say well, did Will Smith ever live in Bel-Air? Hopefully there’s no answer and I say that because I say well, Will Smith deserves his privacy, at least…I mean, maybe if it was like, twenty…you say oh yeah, twenty-five years ago, Will Smith did live in Bel-Air or maybe he had an office there or one of his companies has an office there. I think I drove…I’m trying to think the last time I drove…I have driven through…I ran…I guess I didn’t run near Bel-Air. Maybe I did. No, I guess I just drove through it. Maybe I didn’t, though. Anyway, so whatever you’re…okay, so if you’re new, holy moly, are you in for…you’re already in for a treat.
You’re already in the treat part of the show. But if you’re new, I just want to acknowledge a couple things. This podcast is very different and it can elicit strong feelings or just feelings in general, and that’s natural when you first start listening to the show. It is kind of a thing you kind of breathe into and you say okay, you might be feeling a long line of spectrums of what is this, when does the story start, when is this guy gonna get to the point, where’s the British Bake Off? I’d say great question, ‘cause I don’t think it’s in Bel-Air but I haven’t Googled that yet. I wonder about that house and there was a steeple I saw in this episode, and I’m…I would love to go and check out the stream and the creeks and the wildlife, and I’d like to frolic there.
But yeah, so, you could be having feelings of that or you say what is this voice, creeby dull…creeby dulbit tones? No, it’s creaky, dulcet tones like a door. But yeah, and you say what…? Are you mumbling? You can’t…you’re stumbling over your words. I say yes I am, you’re right about that as well. This is very different and most regular listeners say give it two or three tries. It takes two or three tries to realize a couple things around the podcast. One; you only kinda listen to it or you barely listen to it or it’s kinda like background noise that you’re kind of aware of. It’s a great podcast in the sense you don’t need to listen to it but you could listen to it, and it’s that ability to could listen that gives you the…that’s why it takes two or three tries; to say oh, I could listen to this.
I could actually pay attention but I don’t need to. Even when I pay attention, it kinda goes around in circles a little bit. So, it’s a little bit hard to follow. So, you don’t need to listen to it. Also, strangely enough, this podcast doesn’t really put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company. I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-bud, your bore-bestie, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bruh if you’re in the…in a surfing-based area, surf…SBC, surfing-based community, or you’re in that movie about whatever it was called. I think it has two versions of it too; Breaks Off the Point or whatever. I break off…I can’t get to the point. Point Break; is that…? That could be…The Scooter Story. He goes…he can’t make a point. He breaks away from…Point Breakaway would be my version.
I wonder if we could get Will Smith for that. Probably not. Maybe in the background. You say well, that was…that’s Will Smith there, looking out at the…at me talking to the…I was…what was the movie? Well, the first forty minutes, he was just talking to the waves, I think. That was the part Will Smith’s shoulder was in. But so, okay…so oh, if you’re new…so, those are two things; you don’t really need to listen to this. I’m more here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff as you fall asleep, to be your companion. That’s why the episodes are an hour; you could fall asleep whenever you want. You have plenty of time. Just like I said you could listen; if you can’t sleep, I’m gonna be here ‘til the very end to keep you company, so whether you’re awake or asleep, I’m here to tell you a story or talk about the Great British Bake Off later.
So, those are a couple things to know. Other things to know if you’re new…if you’re a regular listener hey, what’s up? How about that…are you think…let me know about this Will Smith in Bel-Air thing, and…‘cause I’m sure someone’s wondered that before. I can’t be the first person. If Will Smith…he was just the French…I mean, what if…is there someone…is there a French Prince? I mean, I think there are. Is there anyone that calls themself the French Prince of Bel-Air, Wisconsin? Is there a Bel-Air, Wisconsin? Of all the states, Bel-Air, Wisconsin sounds pretty good. Bel-Air, Nebraska. Pretty good but there’s a little bit…it’s not quite as…doesn’t have the same ring. Bel-Air, Montana. It must be the number of syllables in the…syllable sounds, so those two…Bel-Air, Colorado.
Okay, so it’s not just syllables ‘cause that…Bel-Air, Colorado sounds good, too. Bel-Air, Florida. [00:10:00] Mm, I don’t know. That sounds like it could exist but I say well, I don’t know. Bel-Air, Arizona. That’s a little bit too hard because of the double ‘air’. Bel-Air, Nevada. Eh, it’s not…I just…I don’t know. Bel-Air, California. That one sounds made-up to me. Bel-Air, Oregon. Bel-Air, Washington. I think Colorado…I mean, sorry, I can’t actually…Bel-Air, Michigan. I can’t name every state. Bel-Air, New York, Ohio. I can’t do every state but it seems like Wisconsin, Montan…Bel-Air, Montana. I’d say Wisconsin and Colorado for now.
Okay, where was I? Sorry, that was for regular…I think that was…but so if you’re new, a couple other things you’re gonna wonder about or feel strongly about and again, I’m saying yes to your strong feelings and hundreds of thousands, maybe millions of people have been in that same spot. Some of them, probably 50% to 70% said oh yeah, this just isn’t for me and they moved on, but the…maybe they gave it two or three tries, too. But then, half of that or whatever said oh wow, okay, this really works for me. So, that’s why I say give it two or three tries. The other things that are different is the structure of the show, which you’ve probably already noticed ‘cause you’re so astute, is very, very different.
The show starts off with a greeting; ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, and in this case, Star Bakers because I want you to feel like a Star Baker of course. But also just so you know you’re welcome. Then there’s business. We bring this podcast out twice a week. It gets downloaded a ton of times, so that’s what’s able to keep it free and not as part of a service. Then there’s the intro, and the intro really throws people off ‘cause some people think it’s just business but it’s really the business of me getting you ready for bedtime and getting you some distance between the day and stuff like that. So, it’s really just…I don’t know, every listener listens to the intro a little bit differently, so some people…2% of people skip ahead. That’s like, statistics.
Statistically, I’m able to see that…start it at around twenty, twenty-two minutes. Then the rest of the listeners just let me know. Some people start listening before they get in bed, some are in bed, some are falling asleep, some are getting ready for bed, some are doing a nice wind-down routine or a nice wind-down hobby, something relaxing and chill, so you’ll kinda slowly discover how you want to use the podcast but at first you say what is this? You’re just going on and on and wondering about Will Smith and then talking about something else? I say yeah, it’s strange, man. I hear you. If there was ever a quote about the podcast I could attribute to someone named Will Smith, that would…yeah, man. That’s one strange podcast.
I mean, that doesn’t sound like the famous Will Smith ‘cause I don’t think I could do a Will Smith imitation. Here’s the situation; I can’t do a Will Smith imitation. I could just do a cheap rhyme based on it, but…oh, so yeah, if you’re new, you’re saying when are you gonna get to the…? Okay, yeah, no, I realize that but this is kinda part of the podcast. It’s part of the wind-down, to give you some space. So, that’s the purpose of the intro, is that it’s familiar…for regular listeners, it’s familiar but it’s different every time. For new listeners, it’s just like I kind of display my incompetence in some sense in a positive way where you say oh wait a second, okay, I don’t need to listen to this person but he is mildly okay. He’s mildly not bad. I’d say you got it now. Then after the intro is business.
That’s just how podcasting structure works, and that business is just important to the regular listeners who rely on the podcast, ‘cause that’s how we keep it free. Then we’ll talk about the Great British Baking Show or the Great British Bake Off, wherever you are watching it, and we’ll cover that. Then there will be some thank-yous, so that’s the structure of the show. I think those are the rules around the show. I mean, not really rules but ways you could use it. What else do you need to know? I mean, I guess the only other things you really need to know are oh, why I make this show. One; I make the show because you deserve a good night’s sleep. I’m actually wagging my finger in a positive way because you do. You deserve a place where you could get some rest.
I really want you to…even if you can’t believe it right now or you say ah, that’s trite, man. I’d say there goes the imaginary Will Smith again that talks like that in my mind. Ah, that’s…then I say well, you know, you might not believe it but I believe you deserve a good night’s sleep and I think that you getting a good night’s sleep and on a regular basis or occasional…whatever…however it works out. No pressure to get a good night’s sleep but that means you could live your…you’re a little bit in a better place, and your life will be fuller and the world will be fuller. It’s one of those strange, microscopic world…improvements in the world if this podcast can help you. Now, it doesn’t work for everybody, like I said. The other reason I make this show — and this is coming at you straight out of my life — is because I know how it feels.
Last night I had trouble on all those things. Trouble getting to sleep…and I followed my wind-down routine, I don’t think I had any caffeine after twelve, and I was reading the…a couple…I read a couple different books and I was reading my fiction and enjoying it and getting…I felt like I was getting more and more tired, then I just couldn’t get to sleep. Then when I finally did get asleep, I had some…whatever you call it, pseudo-insomnia or whatever, where I just wasn’t having restful sleep. Then I woke up about 4:40 which is kinda the worst time to wake up ‘cause if it was a little bit earlier, yeah, I might’ve had…and I said…but I’ve been doing the show long enough; I said just stay calm. This is not great. Just stay calm. You know how it is; your listeners are out there.
Someone’s probably…you’re not alone ‘cause there’s probably other people tossing and turning, and this is something I learned from making this show, and it doesn’t always work for me, even, but my mind wants to run with stuff. I took a few minutes and I said okay, let’s just see if we could get comfortable. No. I don’t know what it is; temperature, whatever. Part of me said I’m up. I said okay, well, let’s read…well, let’s read for a little while and see how that goes and let’s just stay calm. Even if we can’t get back to sleep, that wouldn’t be great for our day, but let’s just stay calm and see how that goes, or be nice to ourself even though this isn’t great. Maybe we…I don’t know. Eventually I was able to get some more sleep, and…so that was good. But I know how it feels.
That’s my main thing, is I’ve been there and I know all those places you can go at that time or the other times when you can’t get to sleep, how frustrating that can be, or lonely, or when you’re just not…I kept…first I kept just waking back up and I said what…and then I had…I said oh, man. So, you deserve a good night’s sleep. I’ve been there, so if I can help at all, I’d be honored. Now, like I said, it doesn’t work for everybody but please give it a few tries just for you. It really doesn’t benefit me unless the podcast helps you, so me encouraging you to give it a few tries is just because so many people have said that. A lot of people, even…there’s a subset of people that say give it a few tries and you might be in this place.
You’re like…maybe you already stopped listening or you had a really strong reaction; you loathed the podcast or whatever. That’s okay. Everybody has their own taste. Then you’re like, I’m never gonna listen to that again. I can’t believe my aunt recommended that. Then one or two years later you might find your way back to the show. That happens a lot, and then people say oh, well now I have fresh ears or I’m in a different place. Wow, I really like this podcast. Now, that’s not everybody’s trail but I just wanted to give you the range of possibilities with also it being okay not to like this show. Now, you don’t…what’s not always okay is…when you have strong feelings, that’s okay but you…there is a website, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou for you to check out other podcasts and stuff.
You don’t necessarily…it’s not…I guess I’m saying hey, this is just a thing. It’s not about you or me. It’s just a thing; either it works or it doesn’t. So, having strong feelings about it is okay. Just remember; you want to be empowered when you take your next steps when you say well, I just won’t listen to that podcast anymore. I’ll check out Miette’s or Sleepy or Get Sleepy or Sleep Whispers or [00:20:00] Katie’s Women’s Meditation Network or Shell’s Mediation Podcast. Whatever it is. I guess my main thing is give it a few tries and I hope I can help because it would be my honor because…what I already said. I really appreciate you coming by and checking this show out. I appreciate you giving me your time and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Here’s a couple ways I’m able to bring you this show twice a week.
Alright everybody, it’s Spice Week here, Collection 6 or Season…Series…I don’t know, Episode 5. This is our sixth episode but let’s start with the opening. On mute, it’s Sandy and Noel walking on grass. They’re talking about bakers left are nine but we had nine last week. Well, one of the bakers was…Terry was under the weather so we’re back up to nine. We had eight last week but…so, they’re just talking about math. Then we’re gonna take out two because no one went home this week, so they’re gonna go from nine to seven. Are we clear? Yes. That one’s a little bit more of a slow comedy, or just like…you know, I really like Noel and Sandy and like watching them think and talk it out. So, let’s see, there’s…then there’s the sequence of lots of math, maths. Sticky signature, stress city, Karen says crack on, crack on.
So, we have that part, then here’s the talking heads. Barbell…oh, Terry has a barbell moustache. Oh, the camera goes through the gates, then everyone’s walking in. Manon’s talking about spice in French. Kim-Joy’s excited. Terry said last week I was not well at all but it’s a lovely feeling to be back. I can stay or go on merit. Ruby’s thinking, Karen says oh boy, the odds are high. Briony says if she’s a cat she’s down to four lives or less, maybe three. We’ll see how these three challenges go, chuckles. So, for their signature challenge today, they have to make a ginger cake. Any form of ginger you could choose; fresh, dried, stem or syrup which I don’t know what stem is. It comes in a jar. Dominant flavor and a suitable size for a family tea time. Noel says I didn’t know…I don’t know…I don’t…on your mark, get set, bake.
So, then…Prue loves ginger cake. The balance of heat, spice, flavor, and warmth, Paul says. He wants something fudgey, a sticky cake. Oh, if you want that, stem ginger would be good. She goes, don’t use fresh ginger ‘cause if it stays in the oven for too long, it loses its flavor. Paul says what about…a lime and a lemon would go well with it. A lot of molasses, I think, being poured. I’m not sure. There’s tin molasses, maybe. Again, hearing the…I guess…I see…I don’t know if it’s this episode or another one where they’re using tinned ghee and I said I’d like to find some tinned ghee because that’s good for all situations. I mean, depending on its stability, and then tinned…I don’t know, I guess I don’t use molasses very much, so I don’t know if I need tinned molasses. Let’s see, Briony, cat…oh, we got stem ginger?
There was a question mark. With lime or lemon? I put a question mark. So, Briony’s doing a honey, apricot bee…oh, Sandy burns Paul on this one. Let me go back. Paul goes oh, is there any ginger gonna be in there, in the apricot? Prue says, she’s got ginger in the cake, Paul. Aren’t you listening? Let’s see, no ginger in the apricot…oh, have I missed a trick here? Good luck, Briony. So, I guess I missed the burn there. But you know, oh, Sandy’s the one. Huh. Maybe it doesn’t come…the comedy doesn’t come through as…oh wait, maybe there’s the laugh. Okay, apricot, honey, ginger. Any particular honey? Bee honey; honey from bees. Oh, that’s…does Paul say what particular honey? Let me see. Really hard on mute to pick up these jokes. It’s honey from bees.
Oh, Paul says it’s honey from bees and Sandy says there’s nothing you don’t know, huh, Paul? So, I managed to grind…I manged to grind down that joke like stemmed ginger. Okay, nothing…yeah, mixes…you gotta mix up your fats, sugars, and syrups for this one. Gooeyness, Manon says. Dan is making a trick…treacle; golden syrup, batter…let’s see, lemon, Swiss meringue…in freezer. I don’t know. Let me see. Let’s see, right now Dan’s stirring up…oh yeah, he’s trying to melt the butter in there in his trickle golden thingamajig. Treacle? You say treacle, I say trickle. Milk, milk, milk. He forgot his milk. Sticky, heavy ginger cakes my mom used to make. Oh yeah, his is a ginger and lemon drip cake. It looks really good. Swiss…I made…not to change the subject and make this about me but one day I’ll make a buttercream and a meringue.
This week I made sour…was that not sour cream? Cream cheese icing from scratch. But I guess when you say scratch, it’s just cream cheese, confectioners sugar, and what else? Vanilla. Something else goes in there. I don’t remember what. Oh, butter, yeah. So, okay…cake, lemon, Swiss meringue, ginger, chopper, crystallized ginger, dried ginger, chopped, stemmed ginger. Rahul is making surprised sweet ginger…oh, his mom was surprised. This is interesting; she says why would people have ginger in a cake? In India we usually use ginger for savory things, curries and things. So, he’s making a bonfire night caramel ginger cake, cinder toffee or something. He says I remember my first bonfire night. They said, did you like it? He goes yeah, I didn’t think it would work but it did.
He goes, ‘cause there’s also a balanced sweet. He goes normally I’m used to eating super-sweet or very sweet. Then they say Rahul is not the only one using…’cause you say Karen’s also doing a bonfire night ginger cake, updating cinder toffee, crystallized ginger. She goes, to warm everybody up. There’s brandy in the cream cheese frosting. Speaking of cream cheese frosting, thanks…and then Noel says well, Prue likes to carry brandy in a hip flask. So, she goes…he goes it’s my job to top it off. Big job, eh? They’re all laughing. Then they show Ruby’s using some rum in her cake batter and she’s like, this tastes good. Why bother baking if you can’t make it boozey? I’d say hers is a Jamaican Me Crazy ginger cake, booze balanced with triple-headed ginger, so she’s using stem, ground, and ginger syrup from the stem.
So, stem ginger seems to be some sort of ginger that’s preserved in syrup which would be very good for cooking or baking, especially desserts. Learning curve…oh, this is Rahul. Friends, Karen, big deal as a kid. Ruby…Manon’s using fresh ginger in an Italian meringue buttercream ginger cake. No ginger cake or lemon curd in France, she says, so these are both new to me. Then Paul says have you practiced it? She goes, a bit. He goes, you haven’t. She goes, I’m improvising. She goes, I was…I had to work less. Work was busy. Kim-Joy or somebody’s having a liquid…over liquid and they say yeah, this…it’s tough to know how long to bake these things. It’s called the cake batter sequence, high liquid content; cake that’s delicious…165 for fifty minutes. That’s what Briony’s putting hers in at. Karen has no milk in hers.
Claggy and dense…dense, somebody says, or that’s one of the risks. I like that word claggy though. Then Dan’s a hot mess. He has his batter split, he’s got cheese in his cake batter. Noel says I can’t help you; I don’t even know what you’re talking about. But he goes yeah, there’s curds. Dan is like, I can’t even…I don’t know anything that happened. Milk got too warm, I’d say. Noel’s making jokes. He’s got kind of a fern or yeah, I guess a fern…frond type shirt, firden-fronds. Rahul’s making his buttercream, Dan’s trying to figure stuff out. He’s a little…oh no. Brandy Alexander cream cheese frosting. That’s what Karen’s working on. Jam…so, he ends up throwing his batter out after he puts his hands on his head, stressed; says I’m gonna start over, back to zero. I don’t have a choice. Terry’s singing.
Let’s see if we can catch that. Pear and ginger cake, batter on…butter on top? Batter on top? I don’t know. Noel and Sandy do a shark puppet at 10:21. Oh, Dan says curse the Star Baker. [00:30:00] Sandy said okay…oh, take good care of me; this is Terry’s lyrics. I don’t want your love anymore. Oh, that was all he sang. But he’s a good singer. I really like Terry. Oh yeah, an upside-down cake. My handwriting was correct; batter on top. I guess the upside-down cake…I never knew this; it’s baked upside-down so that the top is on the bottom and then you flip it when it comes out. Here’s one thing I recognize about the…and do yourself a favor and pause it at…what time is this at?
Oh, 46:50 left, but…so, there used to be this cartoon or animated program when I was a kid called The Jetsons which I think was repeats from a earlier time. I don’t even think it was made when I was a kid, which you could probably still watch somewhere. It was a sitcom, a animated sitcom, but…and it was very similar to a lot of the ones at that time, so I think they were all based on The Honeymooners, maybe. This is just my guess ‘cause they all featured an exasperated, overworked male figure and this one, the boss of the male figure, George Jetson I think…meet George Jetson; yeah, his…he had a boy, Elroy, and a daughter Judy, and Jane, his wife. Then you go da-da-da. But his boss, who I don’t remember his name, probably…oh, Cogsly Cogsworth I think was his name, or Mr. Cogsworth, ‘cause George worked in a cogs factory which competed with a widgets factory.
This was all very thematic back in the day. The paradigm has shifted quite a bit but then you’re saying thematically there’s still some of the same themes. But anyway, the boss’ favorite cake was a pineapple upside-down cake and it wasn’t an ongoing gimmick but it was something that would come up every once a…I don’t know if they had seasons but every once in a while the boss would end up with a pineapple upside-down cake on his head, and that show really glamorized pineapple upside-down cake in a way that I never had it. I was always curious about it but not so curious that I was like, I gotta eat it, either. But I said well, that guy clearly likes pineapple upside-down cake and it sounds like a hassle.
I don’t know, I never…I guess because I had fruitcake once, any…the idea of fruit on a cake for me…even though fruitcake is nothing like any of this, it kinda got me…I said well, I don’t ever need to have pineapple upside-down cake, though maybe one day I’ll make it now. But so, then Noel’s playing with a shark puppet at the time check and Sandy’s just watching him. It’s very comedic. So, that’s around ten minutes in the episode. She sighs and then turns and says bakers, halfway through. Dan’s still stressed. Sandy has this beautiful cherry shirt on. Noel’s still running the comedy, like hey, that didn’t get in the shot, did it? But her face is really good. She’s good at quiet comedy. Everyone’s faces…Dan’s stressed; so much to do. Manon; smell the ginger. Okie-dokie, tick-tock…tack-tack, she says. I don’t know if that was French.
Moisture…as the moisture increases, your baking time increases. There’s a little factoid from you. If that wasn’t enough to worry about, pears poaching is your first alliterative moment that I noticed. Kim-Joy is…has a gingerbread house on tap. She’s making some caramel pears…oh, there’s the pears poaching. Making biscuits…oh, she’s not just baking cake; she’s making a gingerbread house. She really likes miniature things. Crystallized ginger sponge. The house is gonna be on top of the cake with a salted caramel cream cheese frosting. She says, being…makes me think of being at home. Pears in the background like trees. She’s so pleasant and happy in herself. I love Kim-Joy. There’s so many likeable people on this season. Jon’s also making a gingerbread family with his kids and some trees.
Not too thorough…oh, cake’s out of the oven. Jon’s kids…oh wait, there was something. I said check the dialogue. Tiny balls, have a cup of tea. Yeah, Jon’s also thinking of home. He’s making his kids Hannah, Lucy, James, Emily. Noel says are you sure that’s me? Oh, hello Hannah. Oh, I dropped her on her side. He says there’s one thing I don’t know about children; don’t drop them on their side. He just…even gingerbread children. So yeah, he’s going on a ginger sponge. Oh, lemon glitter balls he’s making, and a touch of bling. Agave solution to create his tiny lemon balls, jelly that melts in your mouth. He goes, I hope they go right ‘cause there’s so many things and I don’t want to be one of the two people going out. He has a holiday Hawaiian shirt on with reindeer I think and Santa, but in a beach style.
Okay, then we have…oh yeah, Jon drinks a cup of tea. Then everything starts coming out of the oven. Terry burns himself; he says ow. Let’s see, no time to thoroughly cool. Tiny house…Sad’s house…wonky, really hot. Oh, Sandy’s house. Noel says oh, is that Sandy’s house where she’s talking about Kim-Joy’s tiny house. Ten minutes; Terry says this is a disaster. Time is up. Final touches. Oh, I give up; we get a very sad Terry. They do say we believe in you. Time to get started. Then as they say time is up, of course that’s when the big, final music comes. Can’t work…put it at the end of your workstations. Jon is wobbling his cake. Dan’s cake…a proper drip. So, then we go to the judging. They say Jon, concise color. That’s a nice alliteration. They also say claggy.
They say these goldie balls are good; the flavor with the goldie balls is so good. Karen’s; they say oh, Karen, this is quite hard. Oh, Karen, too much…too boozey. She says thank you for your appraisal of that. Then Ruby; they say the drizzle looks great. Delicious, but it ain’t no ginger cake. Oh, Jon’s doing a wobble-dance to Dan’s cake. Rahul says something very pleasing. I gotta see what that is. Looks too…it’s too lovely to look at. He gets a handshake. Paul says you’re a hell of a baker. Then he says it’s quite annoying. You’re really too good. He says I’m sorry. Gotta figure out what that first word is. Something very pleasing. Briony; bee…she’s wearing a bee pin. They say it looks good but it’s dry and not gingery. I put sweaty or sweety, but -ty, so maybe she said am I sweaty? I don’t know.
Then Terry says jeez, this looks a mess. Interesting texture; very gluey. Then Kim-Joy; it looks fantastic. This is the most beautiful…nice warmth…she gets a handshake. They say jeez, this is so impressive. Oh, she says she has sweaty hands but she got a handshake. Very pleasing to look at. Lovely. This is Rahul; I’ll get back…lovely and gingery. Good texture. So, I don’t know what the a- word was. I could…let’s see, a bonfire night caramel ginger cake, looks amazing. I guess that was the a…looks amazing. Okay, that was the first word. Okay, then Dan’s drip cake is a leaning tower of ginger. More and more confused; a pity. Mm…oh, and then Manon…I put mm but it’s my spelling of Manon. Very elegant, rich color, I get the ginger and the lemon, the soft sponge. One of the best.
She gets a handshake from Prue and…oh, and a pat. I got a Prue pat, she says. Then they do the talking heads. Everyone’s happy for Manon and Kim-Joy. Everyone happy; Jon, Rahul. Dan drinks a soda, I think. I said, is Dan drinking soda or just coffee in a clear glass, or…? Then we see a bee in a flower. [00:40:00] Then it’s time for our next challenge. The tech challenge is twice a mystery as any. Paul, any advice? Delicate baking; that’s it. They get sent out and they say well, where are they going? They say they’re going to play Fortnite. She says…Sandy says what’s Fortnite? Let me see what they say here ‘cause it’s coming up. Paul’s at the challenge. Any advice? Do a good job. Delicate baking. That’s it, that’s it. So, you two lovelies leave the tent, Noel says. Yeah, they’re playing Fortnite.
What’s Fortnite? Online, fun-time game. Prue is the better…way better at it than Paul. Okay, two batches of six maamoul which some people…it’s a delicious, ancient pastry from the Middle East. One batch with walnuts shaped with a mold and the other batch with a date paste and pinched with maamoul tongs. They say there you go; no one’s really familiar with this pastry but it does sound good. Okay, two batches of six. One and a half…I don’t know. They say okay, what is this? One and a half maamoul…like maamoul but maamoul…eating at the end…oh, it’s usually eaten at the end of Ramadan. It’s pretty punchy in flavor. It’s a celebration of…oh, this is when Paul and Prue talk. It’s like a celebration of the end of the fast.
You have mastic which is a little bit like anise and mahlab, which is inside the cherry kernel if you grind it down and it also has a very potent flavor, quite like almonds and cherries at once, Prue says. Those two spices go into the pastry but the tricky part, Paul says, is you want to…the pastry to have definition, so don’t over-handle it. Yeah, mastic, dough-making, mastic, talking ghee, very crumbly. Date filling, guessing game. Quarter teaspoon? There’s no quantities. You want a softness, not a firecracker. Walnuts…hello, someone says. Funny flavor; there’s some alliteration. It will be fine. Then their one-hour-left announcement comes. That’s when we see…this is when we see the tinned ghee, or I guess in the US you’d say ghee in a can. Very crumbly, interesting…I mean, awful. Don’t handle it for too long.
Terry is having a lot of trouble. He says, I can’t get this at all. Karen; wrong thing, wrong mold, so Karen actually mixed up…’cause they had…oh, you’re supposed to stay…make this one in this mold and that one with the tongs. I think the date paste with the tongs, the pinched-together one. But she says boy, it’s too late now, and I think Ruby says crack on, Karen. Maamoul tongs, Noel says, then he does this tiny robot…he goes oh, they’re like tiny robot arms. Mahlab filling is only half the story. There Karen says walnuts, hello. A half hour left. Very good, quick…more like a biscuit, not too long. They’re trying to figure out the baking time. The problem is that this particular pastry doesn’t really change colors. Let’s see, don’t know what I’m looking for. Terry’s start to melt, so his pastries are melting in the oven.
Terry’s like, I guess you kinda really feel for him. At least, me and my daughter have throughout the series. But you like him; you’re cheering him on. He’s definitely the definition of a underdog. Probably shares some genes with me. So, let’s see, everybody’s trying to assemble theirs right now. They don’t look any different when they’re cooked. Karen says this is a disaster. Then they say one minute. She says, that’s it? They say one minute remaining, correct. Terry says what a mess. There’s some dusting sequence of people dusting the tops of their things, then Karen says oh dear, Karen, time is up. Rubbish, Terry says. Then they say beautifully baked, Paul and Prue. That’s what they’re looking for. So, then they do the kinda judging. They go with Jon first. His is split. Baking’s okay. Potent; it’s too potent, the flavors.
Slightly deflated, too strong, over-baked, so not great. Briony; flat but I like it. It’s a little bit too much, though. Something…I don’t know. Terry, they say…this one has serious, serious problems. No definition, so that didn’t go well. Manon’s; they say delicious…something. Let me…I’ll see when it comes up. Rahul; good definition, well-baked, flavor’s pretty good. When they go to Karen’s, they say over-baked and dry. Kim-Joy; neat flavors, good definition. Jon; they say uniform, buttery, and something else. Ruby; they say nice definition, very good. The finals end up being Karen in ninth, Terry in eighth, Jon in seventh, Briony in sixth, Manon in fifth, Kim-Joy in fourth, Rahul in third, Dan in second, and Ruby in first. Also, Ruby has a blue Band-Aid on which I’ve seen on other people’s fingers before.
It must be when…obviously when they need one but I said oh, they choose blue. Let’s see, they do the talking heads. Dan says happy days. Jon’s not happy. Terry says this is a…Terry says it’s a disaster. Karen says something. We’ll come back to that. We’re gonna run through it on live here. I mean, what? I don’t know who says that. Dan says I made maamouli. Okay, so everybody brings their things up. Paul and Prue are looking for beautifully baked pastries. There’s our alliteration. Balance of spices, six and six, but they don’t know who made what, though they probably can guess. So, they start with Jon’s. The walnuts have split. You see the filling but the bake’s okay. But yeah, his is too potent. Too potent? Yeah. Alright, let’s taste the date…slightly deflated maamouls. They don’t taste the dates. Spice is too strong.
Overboard; that was the word I was looking for. Now we’re at Briony. Not much decoration; more of a flat biscuit. Okay. I like the pastry, though. Bitterness is a bit too much, a bit too bitter. Terry; serious problems, they say. Poor Terry. Falling to pieces, got too hot, oil came out. No definition. That’s a poor pastry. Prue says nice flavor. Manon; no decoration. Low on the filling but delicious. Rahul; it looks good. Ridges…well-baked. Floral hint from the rosewater. Pretty good. Karen; she mixed it up, wrong shapes, over-baked, dry, quite dry, very dry. Kim-Joy; neat, they say. She iced all of them. You’re only meant to ice the walnut ones. Pastries and flavors are good. Potent…not so potent, and then fairly uniform; this is Dan’s. Buttery pastry, love that filling; almost toffee-like.
So, Dan’s happy, then Ruby; nice definition, a little…you can see the flower. Pastry’s good. Very good filling. Now we rank them, so we know the rankings. Yeah, then we do the talking heads. Let’s see, those are always good. I mean, oh, Ruby’s the one…she says little old me? I won? She’s just a really good TV personality for sure. She goes me, what, what? Then Dan says jeez, happy days ‘cause that signature didn’t go well, so now I’m back in the middle. Jon says not happy about that. I tried to go for it and it didn’t work out. Terry says well, that was a disaster. [00:50:00] Everything felt right ‘til it went in the oven. Karen says I’m gonna have to have a corking great showstopper tomorrow to come back. Then we go back; we have the March back on the next day.
One Spice Week challenge remains; they face a challenge in the tent like no other. Prue’s under the weather today. They say well, it was probably the spices. Didn’t bother you; Paul’s got a constitution of a rhino, he says. So, it’s gonna be Paul solo judging. Rahul, Manon, and Kim-Joy are in front. Ruby’s up there too. Karen and Terry are in a precarious position. Briony maybe, too. Dan and Jon are in the middle but they can’t afford a bad day today. Then they say jeez, you’re handsome, Paul. Holy moly. They have a laugh that…then…yeah, so Prue’s under the weather. Spice…oh, so they have to make a spice biscuit chandelier in four hours which is a spice…you heard right; a breathtakingly beautiful, deliciously fragrant, spice…edible spiced biscuit sculpture that can be hung as a centerpiece.
Flavor and type of biscuit’s up to you. Four hours. Get set, bake. So, they start with the start…they say gotta build this thing from the top-down. It’s all about the spice biscuit. Do not over-bake it or under-bake it. We’re looking for perfection. Everybody’s spicing right now. Karen…let’s see, she’s doing some mixing as Paul’s talking. It’s a slightly unusual way to do it. I think I see some turmeric, some cardamom, cinnamon, nutmeg. Warmth from the spice. You want it to be robust. Don’t…yeah, could collapse. If you under or over-bake it, it’s not gonna hold its thing. Could be making fifty, sixty, a hundred biscuits. It’s all about consistency and perfection, obviously, Paul says. So, Karen says good morning. They say okay, what are you up to, Karen?
She says well, I’m liquorice and cardamom because I’m doing my Pontefract Girls School reunion biscuits. If we were having a reunion, we’d hang it. That’s where we’ve grown liquorice and I went to a school there. Our uniform was brown. We were called the Brown Liquor Girls, so that was funny. They say ‘cause of the liquorice? She goes yeah, Paul. Real funny. She goes, as we were tipping back. Then they do another fraught mixing sequence. Oh boy, don’t…you know, you gotta hang these things. Don’t overdo it. Funnily enough, Ruby says…oh, Jon’s shirt…marshmallows…twenty-first…oh, it’s Jon’s daughter’s twenty-first birthday. He’s putting marshmallow in there. It is Santa. Not only is Santa Claus in a swimsuit; he’s…what do you call that? Water-surfing? No; water-skiing.
So, he’s making a chandelier for Emily’s twenty-first birthday and there’s nothing kids love more on their twenty-first birthday than their dad making them a cookie chandelier. Actually, most cool kids I think would like that, now I think about it. I just had to shut my cynic down with the truth. Now, Dan’s making these for Constance’s birthday, a kaleidoscope butterfly…what is this called? Chandelier; royal apple icing and cinnamon. Paul’s doubtful that it’ll have enough apple ‘cause he’s just putting the apple in the icing and it’s hanging. Dan actually talks back to Paul; I like that. He goes, this is a ridiculous challenge. Dan goes, have you ever looked up a biscuit chandelier on the internet? Paul goes why? He goes, ‘cause there’s nothing there, dude. He goes, you just made this up to be aggro.
Kim-Joy…I mean, this one, holy…is this the one? I think this is the one where Kim-Joy just is off the charts. Yeah, she’s making this spiced ice Christmas chandelier, festive with icing. It’s worth watching the episode just to see her work. She’s making twenty-eight hanging biscuits but she really wants to put in a lot of decorations. Manon’s also doing a Christmas party. Hers is Great Gaps…Gatsby. She’s doing art deco which also turns out phenomenal-looking. Tonka bean is even going in there. I do not have the patience and the accuracy or whatever that these bakers have. Yeah, she talks about what she’s learned from using tonka bean before. Terry’s…his dough is wet already. He’s throwing the biggest Christmas party he can; twelve days of Christmas.
Paul goes, you’re gonna make…okay, twelve, eleven, ten, nine circling down. He goes, that’s a lot of biscuits; seventy-eight characters. He goes yeah, I gotta get to work. He’s introducing two different flavors of biscuits; cinnamon clove and pepper and then allspice and vanilla. He has plans to decorate all seventy-eight. They say Terry, reign it in, man. He goes well, I’m making my maids milking, so I’m on number eight. Down to maids milking. Then they do a overhead shot of the tent. Paul’s reading the Liverpool English Dictionary…or, not Paul. I’m sorry; Noel. He’s saying without Prue here, I have to do some Liverpudlian to learn to speak Paul. Narky…is that right? A state of irritation. Then they say one hour left. Everybody’s putting stuff in the oven and popping up.
Terry’s talking about how some of his are already burnt. Then the structures are starting to get assembled. They say okay, you can put it on plastic but the whole plastic has to be wrapped totally. The whole…the plastic has to be wrapped in biscuit. Let’s see, if it weren’t complicated enough planning all the structures, dangly bits…plastic covered in biscuits, plastic covered in bishops…okay, they’re going to Ruby but I’m not there yet. TV got ahead of me, so…thin, no love. Everyone’s hanging stuff. Ruby’s making a peacock chandelier. It’s gonna be…it’s supposed to be sandwich biscuits with a ganache and they say well, it’s pretty warm. She goes, I think it’ll be fine. I left it at my place hanging overnight and it worked out. They say well, was it cold in your place? She goes, um…huh.
Briony’s making a turmeric latte chandelier which is…that’s what you’re supposed to drink at bedtime; without coffee, but that’s what…it’s one of those drinks. Golden milk, I think they call it. They say just when we thought it couldn’t get any weirder. Paul even has this blank look on his face. Her hands are turning very yellow from the turmeric. Rahul, he’s working on a whole plan…heading east, Sandy says. Durga Puja party. He goes, this is the mother goddess. It’s a cardamom…it’s from a Hindu festival. It’s gonna have all these different shaped biscuits. How many biscuits? A hundred and fifty. They say what? He goes yeah, I know. Paul says a hundred and fifty biscuits? He says yeah, I’m gonna try my best and see how far I can get. Then they do another exterior shot.
Then Sandy’s having a tart or she has a tray of tarts that are unrelated to the competition and Paul…or Noel pretends he’s dressed as Prue. She says you’re halfway through. Everyone’s trying to see…Terry says time’s evaporating. Out of the oven sequence and a cooling sequence. Briony’s biscuits have a weird crack. Ruby’s glasses are fogged up and somebody says I’ve lost count. Oh, she’s lost count how many biscuits but it’s like, cool. Yeah, her glasses are fogged. Then there’s a decorating sequence. Dan’s using synthetic apple, a synthetic assistant. Kim-Joy is doing some amazing piping!!! Three exclamation points. Wet-on-wet technique Dan’s using on his icing. Briony’s got a little psychedelic thing going. [01:00:00] Noel is testing Rahul’s something. We’ll see.
Let’s see, we’re watching…right now we’re doing the Dan’s wet-on-wet technique which really is beautiful. It’s very feathery. He’s using a fan. Terry’s behind, of course. Twenty-one biscuits still to make. He hasn’t decorated yet. Psychedelic disco; that’s what Briony’s are looking like. Paul’s staring at Terry. Terry says don’t worry, Paul; it’s gonna look better. Oh yeah, so Noel’s eating Rahul’s biscuits and saying huh, these are pretty good. I don’t even know what cardamom is. Okay, so then where we go back…oh, Karen takes something out of her oven and she loses something…it breaks. Terry’s burnt his biscuits. There’s half an hour left. Showtime; so then we do the assembly which is terrifying, trying to hang these biscuits. There’s music and stress as everyone’s running around, putting stuff together, saying showtime.
Ribbons, rope. Everyone even has a little stand set up at their thing. A terrifying task; there’s some alliteration. Assembling the delicate chandeliers, making sure all of it hangs equally. Kim-Joy’s making her icicles. Oh, fishing…some people are using ribbon, some people are using fishing line. I said wow, even that would be hard. Rahul’s biscuits are a little soft, he says. Karen says oh boy, this is some pressure here. Keep going. Jon’s biscuits break. He’s stressed. Ganache let me down, Ruby says. Five minutes. Tight on time. Terry’s turtledove loses its…my turtledove has a crick in its neck. Then they say…I don’t know who says it; I think Sandy says we’ll…with Jon’s it’s not going well; she says will a little girl’s dreams turn into a grown man’s nightmare? Ruby gives up on sandwiching.
Seven maids left…assembly…time is up. Step away. Ruby looks at Rahul’s. She goes, you are so annoyingly good. Then we go outside. We see ducks, then it’s judgment time. Manon; they say it looks amazing. Manon…Manon. Come on, Manon. Manon; Manon. Sorry, Manon. All the same shade…the checkerboard. Then they say wow, this checkerboard technique; which one did you use? But then her checkerboards start falling. They say not much spice, Paul says, but very impressive. Dan’s butterflies for Constance, kaleidoscope pattern is exquisite. The taste…no cinnamon. It tastes synthetic. Let’s see, then they go to Ruby’s. They say beautifully baked. Let’s see, something else though, something delicate. Let me see. He says peacock chandelier. She goes yeah, I didn’t get the sandwiches, just like you said.
He takes a bite. He goes yeah, cardamom is delicious. Beautifully baked biscuits, so triple alliteration. Rahul; great sugar work. Beautiful. Time was against you though, so you couldn’t get it finished but the flavor melts in your mouth, the butter in the biscuits…colors are good. I mean, the piping even…he says it’s a bit messy in places but I mean holy cow, a hundred and fifty biscuits. He’s always so intense, man. Cardamom melts in your mouth, biscuit…butter and the biscuits is beautiful with a little bit of blossom, so that’s a lot of b’s. Karen’s they say looks chunky. There’s something weird in there…flavor. There’s…Karen even makes a joke. Let’s see, taste it…Karen opens her eyes. Oh, the liquorice and cardamom together taste like ginger but maybe you need pure liquorice. Briony’s; he says curious texture.
Getting a little clove, the turmeric. It’s unusual. So then Kim-Joy; exquisite piping and detail. Clever, good spices, clack…classic warmth, gorgeous, well thought through. I mean, hers is almost like a painting, some of her piping work on these almost Christmas ornament-type things of these winter scenes. Terry; did you finish it? Some are burnt. Quite bland. They say your idea was good but you took on too much. Then they say Jon, yours is a bit messy. It’s buttery, delicate. As far as flavor, something…I guess I gotta read it ‘cause I can’t read my handwriting. Apologies, but just a fact of the thing. You took on far too much, Terry. Here’s Jon’s; a bit messy. Needs finishing off. He splits his with the marshmallow, tastes it. Paul’s focusing. Cinnamon is the king here.
It’s really like a shortbread; such a delicate, buttery biscuit. If I was blindfolded though, it would have been fantastic. They say cheers; thanks, Jon. Then we see stressed faces; two people who are leaving. They have Terry comment on Paul before they announce it. Or is this after they announce it? This is…yeah, first they do the tease up. Yeah, it’ll be a big jump going from nine to seven. Briony says I think I’m okay. Paul…Terry says Paul’s a diplomatic gentleman, very kind actually. Jon says I could do better. Hopefully I did enough with my flavors to get me through. Karen says…she says I’m going home. Of course, no doubt about it. Then we see the ducks in the river or creek. They go okay, who’s gonna be…? Oh, then there’s the table talk. I miss having Prue here. They say…they’re like, Miss Tea Talk. Who’s first?
Rahul, Kim-Joy. Do you want us to help? Paul goes yeah, no, I don’t want any help. Then we have the bakers in a row. They say well done. This is a fragrant success. Star Baker is Kim-Joy. Then they go yeah, there’s two people leaving; Karen and Terry, and there’s sad music. There’s tears, there’s hugs, and there’s really…let’s get to the talking heads ‘cause it’s actually beautiful. Both Terry and Karen, I really wanted to hug them. Really grounded emotional moment to close the episode. Karen says yeah, I’ve had a crazy few weeks here. She goes outside of having your family, this is a big personal achievement. I don’t think anything other than my family’s gonna top this. Terry’s trying to keep it together but once he’s alone, he’s…this is just something; he goes yeah, I said I wouldn’t get upset.
He’s just got these beautiful eyes. So he says jeez…he goes when you’re on your own…’cause he just talks about loss. He gives everybody a big hug. He goes…I don’t know. He tells this personal story and he goes…this really helped him. This gave him something to focus on. He says how much he’s gonna miss everybody. I met some lovely people. I’m sure we’ll keep in touch for a long time. He goes, this has been a big help for me, a big help. He goes, I’ll remember for a long time. Yeah, and then we get more hugging goodbye and Terry says I won’t stop baking. I’ll look for more adventurous projects in a bigger time frame. Karen says no baking for a bit. I’m gonna take a break. Everybody compliments Kim-Joy. She’s happy. She’s got a cupcake pin on and another pin I can’t quite see. Oh, a book maybe?
She goes, this was…I didn’t think it would be this week. It was Spice Week. But she goes, makes me feel like I learned things and it’s nice. But then I feel like the pressure’s on for me next week, so I’m gonna have to practice a lot. [01:10:00] It closes out. I guess there isn’t a post-credit sequence like I imagined, or accidentally saw but that’s the end of Spice Week. Goodnight.
[END OF RECORDING]