950 – Travel With Skippy | Land of Tomorrow Ep 3

Episode 950 – Travel With Skippy | Journey Into The Land of Tomorrow Ep 3

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, it’s time for the podcaster that…this…so much later, I still am not sure what watermelon sugar is and if I should blush when I hear it or if not.  I actually have not…honestly have not Googled how to…because I’m sure you could make that.  I’m sure it’s pretty easy, though I do also…just a full disclosure; one of my least-favorite artificial flavors is artificial watermelon flavor, unless it’s under correct…no, I don’t…trying to think of what context.  Maybe a hard candy but any other thing…I like the flavor of watermelon but not artificial watermelon.  Other artificial flavors I love; just artificial watermelon, artificial strawberry, but that’s probably too much to tell you already ‘cause you’re like what in the hey, hey, hey is this…did I turn…put the right podcast on?  I’d say you did because that’s why I’m rambling, ‘cause it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep and you make possible, patrons.  What do you say we get on with the show?

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake.  That could thoughts on your mind, things you’re thinking about from the past, present, or future, feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally, anything that’s just there emotionally, or physical sensations.  Or it could be changes in schedule or time or temperature.  You know, stuff; it could be…whatever it is.  Whatever is keeping you awake, I’m here.

 

I’m gonna be…try to be here for you to take your mind off of stuff and to keep you company so that you can fall asleep or at least be comfortable or be kind of comforted by me.  I say kind of comfort…I say barely comforted, but trans…the old translucent blanket.  You say Scoots, what’s a translucent blanket?  I’d say well, I should probably get to the podcast intro.  It’s just something I just thought of as an analogy for Sleep With Me.  It’s a real thing and it’s…oh boy, is it the latest thing or what?  We did a Kickstarter, we did a GoGo, we did it all in my imagination, and we launched it and then I forgot about it.  Then I just thought of it for the first time, so it probably involves some time travel.  I should probably come back to this translucent blanket thing but yeah, so what I’m gonna do…hopefully I’ll remember that but before that I was like oh, I could talk about artificial flavors.

 

So maybe we’ll find a way to mash it up or I’ll just forget about it.  But so, what I’m gonna do, and you just witnessed one of the things I do, but the first thing I do is I send my voice to you across the deep, dark night.  I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, full of imperfection and a vibration that’s hopefully comforting to the people it can comfort.  Creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders; that was…I think I’ve had two already, or one pointless meander and ones guaranteed with your translucent blanket advertisement; pointless meanders and superfluous tangents.  What that means is I’m gonna…my voice is a little bit different.  I go off-topic, I start to talk about something, I get mixed up, I double back, I lose all meaning.  That’s what they said, the first reviewers that we sent it out to.

 

We said okay, we’re sending you this, just so you know, so you can give us a good review.  Companies never are really…are straightforward.  They send you something, there’s a note in the box; hey, please review us, which I understand from making a content business, but…might be…I guess you can’t do that.  You say hey, I’m…I guess they do do that but we didn’t work with translucent blankets.  People said we couldn’t get any…I forgot what the bad review was I already said.  Superfluous; they said this blanket’s superfluous.  I said that’s great.  It’s an extra blanket.  That’s the exact definition of a superfluous blanket, right?  Or no?  Okay, but what I’m gonna do is I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep so if you’re new, there’s a couple important things to know that you kinda already have gotten a sampling of.

 

This is a podcast that you don’t really listen to.  Just like a superfluous blanket, it’s superfluous.  I like that word.  It comes out of my mouth sometimes and when you’re…they say what’s that?  It’s a superfluous blanket.  It’s superfluous.  Maybe we add in an extra brr for the season, you know, or when you’re watching Hamilton.  Hamilton with an H; not Amilton.  That’s the ham-based Hamilton parody that does not exist either, just like this blanket.  But it’s subrrfluous which…an extra blanket.  You don’t use it on your bed.  It’s not your main blanket.  It’s not your backup blankets for if you get chilly.  It’s not your warm weather blankets.  It may not even be your couch blanket or as they call it in the last ten or twenty years, a throw, though I prefer…I’m not…I don’t need a blanket most of the time when I’m on the couch, unless I’m trying to take a nap.

 

But this blanket is superfluous or…and that’s why it’s translucent.  Now, it’s not 100% translucent, so you can find it.  Otherwise you’d…we…you’d say what, are you in the business of selling millions of blankets?  I say yeah, the invisible blanket.  You don’t buy it once.  If you like…that’d be a tough thing.  You’d have to really love the invisible blanket to keep buying it over and over again as you lose them.  Then whatever…we’d have to be licensed and bonded by some great company or underwritten because people would be trip…they say, I tripped over my invisible blanket pile.  But we solved that.  We tried that out in another…on another universe; sold a lot of blankets.  We did.  That’s why I’m not…I’m banned from that universe.  But the…this blanket is translucent.

 

It’s not transparent, so I just want to…whatever, rules of earth, of this earth, just so you know.  It’s not transparent; it’s translucent.  It’s for uses when you barely need it, just like…but it’s there when it’s there.  It’s handy.  I don’t know.  You know a couch blanket…some…I know there’s couch blanket users but then there’s people like me that…just like you listen to this podcast.  You say well, it’s on my couch.  It’s thrown there.  I mean, I actually love my couch blanket ‘cause it’s made from sleeping bag material.  I don’t know if anybody else does, and definitely if I had anyone in my life that wanted something to look good, they’d say that blanket does not…that’s not a throw.  That’s a sleeping bag blanket.  I say yeah, it’s nice.  I love it.  But it’s like a extra blanket, so the podcast is kinda here just like that.

 

You say well, you kinda barely listen to it.  Then, I don’t know, I guess maybe it’s not like that at all, but it kind of is.  It’s the same spirit; it’s there when you need it but you don’t have to pay it any mind.  The blanket…I can’t…I mean, I guess in this case I will speak for all throws and couch blankets; superfluous blankets, transparent blankets.  Invisible blankets, by the way, they don’t work covering you up.  You can’t use it like in the movies where you just cover yourself and you’re invisible.  People see right through the blanket and they see you.  Unfortunately I found that out the hard way when they said finally, we’re gonna find out who…this fool who sold us billions of invisible blankets.  They said we could see you right there, under the pile of blankets.

 

I said well, in Harry Potter and all the other stuff, this always…every movie…I’ve never seen a movie where an invisible blanket gave away the person hiding under it.  Oh, but I was supposed to be talking about something of substance.  So, just don’t listen to me.  Barely kind of listen.  The blankets, they don’t mind.  I mean, some of them do but on the most part, they say that’s what I’m here for.  I’m a on-call blanket.  That’s how they view it, the couch blankets, throws, even blankets in closets.  They’re not really…they don’t have any resentments or anything.  They just say well, I’m ready.  When you need me, I’m ready.  ‘Cause also, blankets have…they have memories shorter than a fish, except for the memories that are part of their DNA which is being ready for blanketing or being made into a fort or a cape or, you know, used in performances.

 

That’s what they say; I’m ready when you…oh, what were you…?  Did you ask me a question or did you need me?  I’m ready.  [00:10:00] That’s the…oh, that’s another book I’ll have coming out one day; Conversations with Blankets.  Okay, but so, I’m trying to explain what the podcast is.  So just barely listen to me, like a cloud or a…yeah, I think I’ve…blanketing this with blanket metaphors.  So, that’s one thing.  The other thing is I’m not really here to put you to sleep.  I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep.  I’m here to distract you, to be your friend in the deep, dark night, or your companion or your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie, your bore-bruh.

 

Whatever you’re comfortable with, and keep you company, and tell you a story or talk to you in the beginning of the show as you fall asleep.  So, and then if you can’t sleep, that’s why the shows are an hour; plenty of time to drift off but if you can’t sleep, you know I’m gonna be here to keep you company.  Or if you need me during the day, I’m here, or if you say well, I got a…I got twelve hours of coding or twelve hours of applying undercoat.  I say don’t worry.  You can listen to Sleep With Me.  So, those are the first two things if you’re new.  The third thing is most people, probably, that get to this podcast don’t like it when they first start listening.

 

Not everybody sticks around but most of the people it works for…though I do get e-mails of people saying it worked for me on the first try or I understood the style of the show right away, but most people it takes two or three tries to get used to the podcast because it’s different and because I’m an acquired taste, and you may not acquire a taste for me, just like I said at the ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary part.  I never acquired the taste for the artificial flavors of strawberry or watermelon.  While I love real strawberry and real water…no, I strongly…I enjoy real strawberry and real watermelon.  Sorry, I had to take that back.  That’s a big, strong word; love.  Like, blueberries; love blueberries.  Strawberries and what was the other one?

 

Watermelon; really like them in the…love in the right context.  So, wow, I just alienated two of the…I don’t know, are those fruits are vegetables?  ‘Cause then people say well, that’s a vegetable, actually.  So, whether watermelons and strawberries or…and I also alienated two artificial flavors.  Sorry about that.  It’s just…it’s not you; it’s me.  I’m trying not to alienate the new listeners.  So, just give the show a few tries.  That’s what tons and tons of listeners say, and see how it goes.  The other things that throw new people off is the structure of the show.  Things that throw people off about the podcast; my voice, my meanders, that the podcast barely ever goes anywhere, that you don’t need to listen to me, my mild attempts at…my humor-like interludes, my strained metaphors, the fact that I don’t know my rear from an idiom.

 

So, those are some of the things.  Also, structure can…another thing people feel strongly about.  The structure’s built so the podcast can be here and just over the years, this is the way the show has evolved so that it can benefit the most number of people.  It starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcome in the deep, dark night, if you’re sleepless, if you’re lonely, if you’re looking for someplace with a goofball to take your mind off of stuff.  Then there’s listener support and show support and sponsor stuff.  That’s so the podcast can be here for you.  That’s around four or six minutes.  Then there’s the intro which we’re in now, and the intro is usually around twenty minutes of me over-explaining what the podcast is and going off-topic like you’ve witnessed so far.

 

That can really throw new people off ‘cause they expect the podcast to get started right away or get to the story and the reason it doesn’t is so I can ease you into bedtime, so I can give you some distance between the daytime and the sleep time, and that regular listeners can start to wind down because the idea is, at least with Sleep With Me, is it doesn’t put you to sleep right away.  It helps you wind down, gives you something to barely pay attention to, ideally when you’re starting out, while you’re winding down, doing other stuff or getting ready for bed.  Then the story starts and then the next thing you know you’re asleep or you don’t notice.  That’s the ideal…the ideal thing is I ease you into bedtime and then you never notice me and you fall asleep.

 

You forget you’re listening which is easy with this show after you listen to it two or three times.  You say what did Scoots say?  I don’t know; I forgot.  That’s the common…that’s the number one conversation about Sleep With Me with people that listen…both…two people in their lives listen or even not.  Partner that doesn’t listen says what was Scoots talking about last night?  I don’t know.  I don’t remember.  Maybe blueberries.  He may have gone on one of his tangents about berries and using berry to start every word or he might have talked about Boo Berry and cereal.  I don’t know.  I don’t remember.  That’s the…that’s me hitting a home run and a touchdown grand slam with a spike serve and a twirly…with a twirl at the end, and then dunking it, and then doing some sort of dance where I’m signing checks or whatever, like a celebratory dance.

 

When someone says I forgot what he was…I don’t know; I don’t remember what Scoots was talking about but I barely listened, that’s it.  That’s peak me.  So, that’s what the…the intro eases you into bedtime.  Then there’s business between the intro and the story.  That’s where companies want their business.  That’s just the way podcast structure works, so…and that business enables the podcast to be here for you for free versus being behind a paywall.  Then there’s the story.  Tonight, it’ll be our episodically modular story which finally has a title that I probably forgot; Journey into the Land of Tomorrow, I think it’s called.  I think that was Episode 3 or 4 that it took to get…but in the…you’ll…it’ll be called that even when you get…you know, when you start listening.

 

So, oh, so there will be the story and the story will go like, forty-five, fifty minutes.  I think yesterday when I recorded it, it was like around fifty-two or fifty-three minutes, so yeah.  So, there’s the story.  Maybe it was longer than that.  I don’t remember anymore, but then there’s thank-yous at the end.  So, that’s the structure of the show.  The last thing I want you to know is the reason I make the show is because I’ve been there.  I’ve been there tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting asleep, trouble staying asleep, waking up.  Last night I had…I was playing a theme park management video game and I knew I shouldn’t play it…even two hours before bedtime, I shouldn’t be playing any video games.  I just wanted…I said okay, just gonna get a thirty-minute…this tutorial.  It’s a game my daughter plays.

 

It’s not Roller Coaster Tycoon but that’s number one in my heart.  I have the old version on my phone.  But so, it’s another game my daughter likes.  She said dad, just do the tutorials, okay?  I said okay, well, I’ll try to do one.  I said I want to be done by 9:30 which doesn’t get…didn’t get me two hours, so I was already pushing my luck, but then it was like 10:00 before I shut the console off.  That didn’t work because it just stayed late by…that in my mind, my subconscious was still playing the video game.  I don’t know if that happens to anybody else or other stuff.  It messed up my sleep.  I’m just being honest.  I slept…’cause my…I said well, I’m not playing a video game and I don’t care where the slushie stand goes, and it’s…it was…wasn’t stressing me out when I was playing the game.  So, I’ve been there.

 

That’s what I’m trying to say, and I know how it feels.  That situation or a lot of other ones; I know sometimes it can feel lonely, painful, exhausting, frustrating, and a lot of other feelings I’ve had.  If I can help with that, of course it would be my honor.  It would really make me feel good to help you since I’ve experienced that.  I can sympathize with wanting some help, so I hope this podcast can work for you there.  The other reason is — and it goes along with that — you deserve a good night’s sleep.  You deserve a place you can rest.  You deserve an opportunity to live a fuller life or manage…have things feel a little bit more manageable when you’re rested, and all the other benefits that come along with that.  So, if I can help you on the road to that with other…setting up a bedtime routine and having Sleep With Me be a part of it…and some listeners [00:20:00] graduate from listening to the show.

 

Some people, it becomes a part of their routine.  Other people, they move on.  That’s great either way because you deserve it and our world will be a better place when you’re rested, because your world’s better, your life’s better, and you deserve that.  Those are reasons I make the show.  Also because I love going on…I say wait a second, I haven’t even fully explored my relationship with imitation strawberry or translucent blankets.  But yeah, and in the end, I’m glad you’re here.  I hope you give the show a few tries — because it’s free — to see if it can help you.  I appreciate you coming by.  I work really hard.  I yearn and I strive, and here’s a couple of ways I’m able to bring you the show for free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, it’s Scoots here and this is our episodically modular…you could say it’s serialized but you don’t need to because you can listen to it in any order.  That’s what episodically modular means.  But it has a touch of seriality to add some cohesion to the incoherent parts.  So, this is our new series.  I think we kind of…well, I’ll let Antonio Banderas select out of the list of possible titles.  He’s nodding.  But yeah, and then we’ll catch up after Antonio goes…the characters are gonna reset everything you need to know, so if this is your first episode listening, don’t worry.  We’re gonna catch you up on everything.  We’re gonna be listening into a live play of some characters playing a roleplaying game and I do want to tell you about another podcast about…called The Broadswords which is an…it’s called actual play, actually.

 

I think I misspoke, but it’s an actual play, a DnD podcast; all women and non-binary players, and absolutely amazing.  I met them a couple years ago at a convention and that’s at thebroadswords.com.  That’s broad, B-R-O-A-D-S-D-W…swords, S-D-W…S-D-W?  No, S-W-O-R-D-S.  Thebroadswords.com or right in your podcast app you’re listening to right now.  Now, without further ado, Mr. Antonio Banderas.  Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, roleplayers, this is a role I’m happy to be playing as I introduce you to the world of a game I…Scooter, I should have written out what I was going to say.  But join us on this, the Journey into the Land of Tomorrow.  Yeah.  Thanks, Antonio.  Thanks for that title.  I like that one.  I mean, that was out of the list I provided you.  Scooter, I never claimed I wrote the title.  You own the title though, the way you just owned it by saying it though, so thanks everybody, and this is The Journey into the Land of Tomorrow.

 

Okay, well, I just…I feel like I’m in a position where…I mean, what do I do if…we’re supposed to start on-time and I don’t want to get…oh, hi, hi.  Oh, I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I’m late.  We had…we’re here, though.  It’s good to see you.  Thank you, everyone.  Okay, Lord von Chill, I hate to put you in a position…a awkward…oh, it’s Grenada’s fault, actually.  I apologize.  Grenada was…miscalculated our…the load I was having Grenada carry.  Okay, well, this is the first time we’ve had a late arrival, so I just want to be — as Dungeon Master — be clear of the expectations as we start at the allotted time.  As I said in the e-mails, that means being here just like at work, being here about…although I’m here, I’m here on time.  I apologize and it won’t happen again.

 

Okay, but if it does happen again, there will come with a penalty for your character or characters.  But you do get one late pass which you just used for Lord von Chill, but Grenada still has a late pass.  Okay, could you just take it and set everything up for you and your adventurers of where we are and what’s happening?  More than happy to.  Again, I’m not a…yes, I’ll be professional.  My name is Lord von Chill.  I’m a warrior.  Yes, I am of noble birth and I’m here with my assistant Grenada, my hired assistant.  Grenada, nimble of fingers and dexterous, former…we don’t really talk about backstory a lot because it’s assumed and we don’t really have a time allotted for that, either.  But did you know that in my manor house is how I met Grenada?  People think that I sleep lightly because I hear everything.

 

One of my hobbies in the past was to leave a lot of light shining out.  I have the staff do that.  I have the staff hide, so they do help alert me and then I leave the manor door open or a window open, and then I’ll…what I’ll do is I’ll go into the town or a nearby town and tell oh, have you heard the legend of the golden cup?  There’s this buffoon out there of the Von Chills.  Then I’ll wait for them to sneak in.  Now, Grenada had snuck in.  Not the first but the last thus far, and Grenada said…Grenada snuck back out.  Well, it’s funny.  A long story.  I can see the way you’re staring at me, all of you, that you want me to get to the point.  I thought I caught Grenada, then Grenada was gone.  Then I went back to go to bed and who was in my bed but Grenada of Darmok.

 

Grenada said it’ll cost you the golden cup to get me out of your bed.  I said well, I…en garde.  Grenada said oh, I’m feeling…but remember, we…Grenada said I’m feeling a overwhelming urge to let nature take its course in your bed.  I said you’ll be sorry, Grenada.  Grenada said no, I’ll be relieved.  Then, I’m very dexterous and then I’ll escape or…and then I said well, how about this; I’m about to head out on an adventure.  That was a segue.  I could use someone.  We did negotiate a price.  Of course, that took a while and I felt like…still not happy with the arrangement but Grenada also needed something more than money from me.  But so, we…I said I’m headed to an adventure.  Grenada said what kind of adventure?  I said well, it’s interesting.

 

We had a rogue scheduled that will…that I know will drop out even though he says he’s my best friend.  He didn’t like that once upon a time, him and Zell used to be…years ago, in a relationship.  Anyway, so he didn’t…he said he was gonna be the rogue for our adventure and he changed his mind after we started the adventure, technically, Grenada, but I’m back home in the manor to make this story make sense.  So I said I’m heading on an adventure and Grenada said where?  I said, have you heard of this theme park?  Grenada said, no.  I said it’s in a place once known as Lore Flora, the Lore Flora; Land of Flowery Lore or something.  Grenada said, okay.

 

I said, I’ve been tasked to join some other adventurers that I don’t know very well and I heard we’re going to have our healer drop out too, but the council…the Great Council of Wizards I think they’re called or something, they suspected there’s powerful magic at work there, and evil forces pursue it.  They have a lead on where this magic portal might be.  They need a hero leading a band of adventurers to close this portal and to shut it…to keep the world safe, save the world.  The world may never know the great acts…now, one day there will be statues of the hero that led the adventurers there, so that’s where I’m headed, and you’ll join me.  Grenada said I will, and we headed to the Land of [00:30:00] Lore.  That’s where we met first Zell; Zell, an amazing fighter and warrior.

 

Powerful, beautiful, generous, kind, intelligent, so many things.  So many…reliable though in the…on an adventure.  A bit of a…what do you call that?  A person that has strong feelings about issues including the ruling class, but calls me a landed gentry sometimes.  I’m not sure I like that.  Grenada, you’re laughing.  But Zell, a fighter.  We also met our…Eleanor, our healer from the three…Florencian healer, Florencian nurse and healer.  Eleanor is…also, we’ve discovered, quite good in the heat of battle and we haven’t even had any healing needed to be done.  But I’m sure…also, a interesting belief system was explained to me; believes in hedonism and healing…are two sides of the same coin which I said oh, I haven’t…I have thought this.  I said tell me more about this.  Anyway, Zell’s staring at me now.  So, that’s our healer, Eleanor.

 

Then we have our wizard, Emwatta, a hired young acolyte from the Council of Wizards, probably reporting on us, probably has secret knowledge, and very quiet.  Also a non-player…NPC run by the DM.  But a full-fledged character at the same time because people that dropped out of the game didn’t like Zell and I’s personalities, but…and the fact that Zell and I…anyway, that’s not important.  We’re not in a relationship within this adventure.  So, we head down to this theme park, once a great place for vacations in the old, old world, before-time, where families would go and they would stroll this main town street where we were able to get some supplies, and then we snuck into The Land of Tomorrow, part of the park dedicated to The Land…people’s visions of The Land of Tomorrow; rides and pavilions and shows, each showcasing different ideas of what tomorrow would be like.

 

The first place we headed, we camped in the awnings of…I forgot; the Intergalactic Transporter Adventure or whatever it’s called.  We headed in there and we met a somewhat sentient character from the ride, probably ‘cause of the magic, I think Emwatta said.  Guardian…oh no, this was given magical power to guard this area ‘cause it was where the wizards camped.  Didn’t do a great job.  I guess it did a great job of not letting anybody in through this door.  The guardian gave us a task; clear the restrooms out of plush plators, a plush-gator, and seal the restrooms which I guess we forgot to do.  So, we’ll have to go back and do that.  We cleared out the restrooms.  We found a flashlight, a wind-up flashlight, a hand-wound one and a couple of healing potions.  None of us were injured.  The team work was top-notch.

 

Then we headed towards the two rooms where the ride was.  Sorry, Giselle, not a ride; an attraction, a show about transportation.  Oh, also, the show was a satire or something of corporate greed gone out of control.  That was the ride part, I…or the attraction.  So, then the guardian unlocked the doors.  One was labeled C for camp of the wizards and L for laboratory.  We went into the laboratory where I heard at the door a metal clicking.  We opened the door and arranged ourselves, and we saw hopping around the room a small, humanoid plush-bot with a beak.  Looks like three feet tall.  See, I have good notes and also, I can read the other…I can read upside-down.  It was jumping around the room.  Also, there was…the laboratory was destroyed as far as we could tell and the wizards had gone away to the big sky.

 

Then something else brought our…up on the catwalk in the center of the room next to the old fake transporter caught our attention.  Then we had to take a break which was…which I understand.  So, DM, please take it from there.  Thank you, Lord von Chill.  So, yeah, you stand just past the entrance in a circular room.  That’s the amphitheater with stairs and seating going down to the floor.  The center of the floor was once a laboratory that’s been destroyed, and hopping on the chairs coming closer to you is the small humanoid which we’ll call Skippy because there’s a poster actually that’s still there that you could see that says Travel with Skippy Across the Universe Safely; 100% Safe Travel with Skippy, Skipping from Transporter to Transporter by Transcon or whatever, Black Rock, or I don’t know.

 

But so, the poster, you know, with that character’s name, Skippy.  Then you turn and you see yeah, where the…there’s a wreckage of a transporter and then up above is…on the catwalk is a giant…it’s based on a archetypal vision from a few different movies.  They would have called it an alien.  It’s like, partially…it’s got exo stuff.  It’s very big and very…you’d say okay, this is gonna be quite a battle.  It’s kinda making noise and hissing and it’s got a long tail, big head; definitely it’s got arms.  Okay, okay, this is Eleanor; what…is there anything else we could see before…within the second…can I roll?  Yeah, you can, Eleanor.  You do…oh, and we agreed, Lord von Chill, before you got here, to try to be a little bit…because it takes me some adventures to work into my role as Dungeon Master, so I’m gonna try to work the numbers into the narration, too.

 

Like a sweet sixteen party, Eleanor realizes that…oh, one question, clarifying question; would that be with…the number you’re going to give is with the bonuses included?  Yes.  Great question.  Eleanor notices that there’s something attached to the back of this being up there on the catwalk.  While it does look very, very, very powerful, it seems that it’s trying to free itself, part of its controls or something.  It’s attached.  You don’t really know more but we could infer that we can use…that we should split up.  Some of us should focus on Skippy and some of us should focus our distance…the most powerful distance…yes, yes, yes, I agree, Eleanor, I agree.  Zell, what were you gonna say?  What if…so, what if you and I and Grenada focus our…up there at that creature thing?

 

Watta and Eleanor, what if you focus your hand-to-hand on Skippy?  That sounds good.  Okay.  You know, as you arrange, you realize that this is how the…it’s going to play out.  This is the Dungeon Master.  So Zell, you seem to be quickest.  Then Grenada, then the creature on the catwalk.  The catwalk, we’ll call it.  Then Watta, then Skippy, then Von Chill and then Eleanor, based on your speed and your dexterity.  [00:40:00] So, Zell, you…I’ll be firing…yeah, I’ll be using my long bow.  Okay, so Zell, you fire and one of your arrows goes right into the shoulder of the catwalk being and deals a nine.  Wow.  Grenada, you fire from your short bow and you miss.  I thought I was using a hand axe.  Okay, you still miss, though.  Okay.  Now, for the catwalk’s being, just to be clear, the catwalk is gonna…right now on this part, the catwalk being is…catwalk’s gonna roll twice; once to see if it can free itself.

 

It’s gonna pull at the stuff behind it attaching it to the control…whatever, the old parts of the attraction, not ride.  If it doesn’t do that, if it isn’t able to free itself, it’s gonna grab a part of the catwalk and…or equipment around it and try to rip it out and throw it at all of you because it does have…and you could see where it successfully did that with one of the wizards.  Oh boy, that wizard is, yes…and so, this was a ten and an eight, not successful to get a catwalk being a date with destiny right now.  Emwatta swings the shortsword at Skippy, catches Skippy right across the belly, ripping some of the fabric and some…what do you call those?  Cogs fall out as a eight of damage are dealt to Skippy.  Skippy jumps back towards Watta with a beak but misses.  Lord von Chill, you…yes, I throw…I’m gonna throw a javelin.

 

Yeah, and you whip your javelin or toss it.  Wow; it’s almost on target.  It does hit one of the legs of the catwalk being, dealing a little bit of…four levels of…four of damage.  Eleanor…yeah, I’m gonna use my war hammer.  Yeah, Eleanor, you swing at Skippy but Skippy’s just too fast; jumps out of your way.  So, we really got that catwalk being good, huh?  Maybe 25% good.  Oh, wow.  Can you give me…?  Yeah, it went from thirty-nine to twenty-six.  Oh, okay.  Thank you.  So, Zell’s up.  Zell, you…your arrow goes right by the catwalk being.  Grenada, your hand axe goes right by.  The catwalk being tries to rip its…rip away from the cords holding it but it’s unsuccessful and then it grabs the transporter, the broken top of the transporter, successfully rips it off of the transporter, throws it at Lord von Chill, and it lands on Lord von Chill.

 

You could see the…right there, that’s the roll, and does quite a bit of…Lord von Chill is thrown to the ground and quite a bit down; fifteen.  Oh boy, down fifteen.  Emwatta does successfully again slash across Skippy.  More cogs come out and even a…some sort of whirring thing.  Skippy goes after Watta again; misses.  Can I still…am I conscious?  You are.  Okay, can I try…?  Oh wow, can I try to use…throw a javelin and get up and throw a javelin?  You…okay, let’s…okay, wow.  Yeah, so you do.  You’re able to get up and you do another…your javelin again just hits it in the other leg, another javelin, and a four of damage.  Eleanor misses Skippy and the alien’s close to, whatever, is close to 50%.  Skippy’s really…is down below ten.  Von Chill, you’re down to two, so you better be careful.

 

Okay, can I move…since I’m using…can I move to the doorway?  Is everyone okay with that?  Yeah, move behind us where you’re safe.  Thank you, Zell.  I don’t need to be healed, I don’t think.  I think we just keep going ‘cause this…I can always run or something.  Is everybody okay with that?  Yeah, yeah.  Sounds good.  Okay, okay.  So, Zell…wow, Zell, what a shot; eighteen-level shot and you do a one plus three…one plus…so, one plus three of damage.  Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.  Grenada, you somehow dig deep and you get a…you end up throwing two hand axes ‘cause of your roll, see?  One of them does five plus three, one does one plus three, so that’s pretty good.  Then the catwalk buddy…one, so it doesn’t…isn’t able to pull itself free but it does rip out the bottom part of the transporter and throws at it Zell.

 

Lands on Zell; really hard hit on Zell.  Nine plus three.  Wow, this is…Zell, are you alright?  I don’t…no.  I mean…okay, Watta goes after Skippy; misses.  Skippy goes back after Watta; misses.  Von Chill, your javelin misses, and Eleanor, you miss as well on Skippy.  Zell, you should move back to the back by…further back since you still have plenty of range with your longbow.  Yeah, I’m gonna move back too, but let’s not stop.  I think we’re close, right, DM?  You still…the alien is…both the creatures are teetering on…yeah, you’re close if your aim is true.  Okay, and how’s my aim?  Your aim is true.  You strike it and one plus three.  So, how much does it have left?  Four.  Then Grenada, you miss.  Now, this roll, the creature does end up ripping the piping or whatever, the cords attaching it to the attraction, but then it goes to…throws something and it isn’t able to rip it out.

 

Okay, can we do just a…so, the next round, it’ll be able to…it’ll be…probably jump down and be battling us, huh?  Yeah, so we’ll have to figure it out but we have those healing potions, so we could use our turns.  I can use mine to take it and yeah.  Okay, okay, that’s fine, but let’s just keep going, huh?  Yeah.  Emwatta goes and again gets Skippy two plus two, so Skippy’s down to three, whirring and making some weird noises.  Skippy goes after Watta, misses again.  Wow, Skippy’s very ineffective as a battler.  Yeah, but that…okay, okay, so I throw my javelin.  Your aim is true and the catwalker finally falls to the floor and breaks apart.  You see some oil and some metal stuff.  Watta notices the essence of some sort of magical essence floating away and says that out loud; magical essence floating away.

 

Then Eleanor’s aim is true; nineteen.  Four plus two, so Skippy…Eleanor lops…oh, your hammer.  So, you catch Skippy while Skippy is landed on the floor near you.  But also, you notice that the catwalk buddy fell to the ground; it knocked a pipe loose which is making some sort of essing sounds and stuff.  Okay.  Should we take those…what do you call it?  Healing potions or what should we do?  Why don’t I…this is Eleanor; why don’t I [00:50:00] cure wounds on Von Chill and then we do the healing potions, and then I can cure wounds on Zell later.  Okay, so you cure wounds.  Okay, so that’s plus four.  Okay, and then we both take…each take a healing potion.  Okay, and you get plus six and Zell gets plus five.  Okay.  Now, could we roll to search, start searching this for stuff?  Yeah.

 

You’re not finding anything for the next little while ‘cause…not good roll.  You’re unsuccessful.  I don’t know, I think it’s…you’re tired from battle but you also sense that whatever that leaking is is not good.  But you do have a little bit of time ‘cause you’re gonna…you know the guardian says that maybe you should do something, but don’t stop searching for what you’re looking for.  Oh, so what if we go and…how long would it take us…that time to go and seal off the restrooms?  We could rip the stalls; we could use them and hammer them into the doors so that they’re never accessible again.  Okay, so you go and you seal off both restrooms.  That takes a while, then you go back into the room, search the…it smells stronger in there and at this point, Eleanor realizes that…oh, clearly the smell is strong and not safe for anyone.

 

So, we have to hurry.  Thanks, Eleanor, that was great.  Then you roll…you start searching again and Grenada is the one who says wait a second, check the insides of the…these two beings.  Someone check the catwalk on…this beak, and Skippy’s hands have wizard’s robes on them.  Grenada rips open Skippy and starts going through and finds actually caught in the top of Skippy’s beak a piece of…scrap of paper and reads it.  It says talk to the genie.  Okay; talk to the…I found something, the scrap of paper that says talk to the genie.  Anyone know…do we know what it means, anybody, or am I wracking my brain?  We’re all looking at one another.  Apparently you don’t know what it means, I guess.  As the Dungeon Master, I can point that out.

 

But we know…excuse me, as Grenada, I’m just wondering…we know this is important?  Yeah, there’s something about it and Watta actually takes it from you, looks at the paper and…this is written in the hand of Frufron, one of the wizards I recognize here.  I would say we should take time to give these proper respects but according…Eleanor said that it’s leaking, so…but this is an important clue left for us or something one of the…Frufrau was keeping.  But I’m not sure what we should do next.  Does anyone have any ideas?  Yeah, this is Zell; I think we should go and search the…we could talk to the guardian but let’s go search the camp or whatever.  It’s right across the hall, right?  It is right across the hall, so you open the door and you cross the hall.

 

Wait, before we open the door, we didn’t say that actually, Dungeon Master.  Can we run healing and then listen at the door?  Yeah, you get healed by Grenada…I mean, Eleanor heals Zell for four more.  You listen at the door.  You hear some wind but that’s about it and definitely Eleanor says we have to hurry, otherwise we’re gonna start having to do rolls.  There’s something about…whatever that thing ripped open that is not good to breathe in.  Oh boy, so that means we’re not gonna be able to rest.  Okay, so we go into the room and we start…what do we find?  So, we listen at the door; we don’t…we hear wind, so we go in.  Okay, thanks, Lord von Chill.  Yeah, you go into the camp and the first thing you notice is that the roof…there was…it’s ripped open.

 

This one at least, they…the Skippy and the catwalk buddy are…you don’t see them, you don’t hear them.  You look in the catwalk and most of the stuff up there had been removed.  You see ropes coming in, down from the ceiling and you notice that yeah, that it’s been recent, according to this great roll you had.  Someone’s been here, searching the camp.  The camp’s ransacked, the wizard’s camp.  There’s cots set…you know, typical stuff; cooking stuff, pots, bedrolls, very standard.  Okay, this is Zell here.  So, we could search this room.  We’re looking for anything about this genie, okay everybody?  But also, we can’t…we’re not able to stay here ‘cause of whatever’s leaking in the other room?  Correct.  So, you start searching.

 

You’re not…you’re searching and you’re not finding anything but there may be other…on your search you didn’t find anything ‘cause you used the investigation…so, you didn’t find anything when you were searching with investigation skills of the characters.  So maybe some consensus brainstorming.  Okay, well that was a pretty big hint.  Emwatta, you work for the Dungeon Master so you can’t really brainstorm with us.  Eleanor, Zell, what do you think?  Okay, well, this is Zell thinking and so, it’s not…it’s something not hidden because we searched successfully and we didn’t find anything.  So it’s not hidden; it’s something in plain sight.  Talk to the genie either means there’s someone here named the Genie or it’s…something’s hidden, so we gotta look around.

 

It’s gotta be something in the park, like a genie in a bottle or a genie…like some sort of plush or something, so maybe I have some knowledge of the history of the park that I’m just…I gotta think about by rolling this…yep.  Oh, wow.  So, yeah Zell, you really wrack your brain for the history of this theme park and you remember that these theme parks always had maps and stuff, and you start to look at the walls.  You realize that out of place on the wall of the camp, there were some…there was a wizard’s procedure map for…there was a note somebody put up about keeping your bed area clean, cleaning your pots after you use the cooking, and then there’s a map of The Land of Tomorrow.

 

Now, it’s…someone splashed grease on it when they were cooking ‘cause it’s near the cooking area but you do see…so, you see the entrance from the…what’s called the Hub of Fantasy which was the center of the park and the path that leads into The Land of Tomorrow.  Over the bridge of the Dreams of the Future and the lagoon of…but anyway, so…and then you see that you’re on the left here.  You see the…what they call the Institute of Alien Technology.  There’s presentations and there’s a little bit of description of that attraction.  You see one of the sets of the restrooms you were at which actually is connected to another side of the park further away, an ice cream shop and a food place.

 

But then you see across the path, directly on the other side of the path and the bridge, the first attraction on your right if you’re walking into The Land of Tomorrow; it’s called The Wonders of Steam.  You see the description and you notice in there it says One Day Only which is kind of in…[01:00:00] tongue-in-cheek, the Steam Genie.  We’ll introduce you to the wonders of steam and how it can change your life.  Be a part of the future and learn more about the wonders of steam.  The presentation, blah, blah, does include fog effects, lasers, projections, animatronics, but fun for the whole family.  Okay, so we should go for it then.  We should head over there, huh?  Great job, Zell.  Yeah, Eleanor notices and alerts your party that as a nurse, that we need to exit now, so you can’t search or rest.

 

Okay, we should let the guardian know about all this.  So you head out, you stop at the guardian.  The guardian said hello, everyone.  Thank you for securing those restrooms.  What did you find?  Well, your guardianship, it looks like someone snuck…wizards…you didn’t…I guess you kept this area secure.  Very good job, but part of the…when was the last time you saw a wizard?  Been a while, but I was here to guard against intruders.  Yes, intruders, yes.  Yeah, so there were some intruders already inside one of the…you must…you could see the halls but I guess you couldn’t…anyway, so the wizards…most of the wizards have gone away for good, forever.  But we took care of that as well.  There’s also some sort of leak in there but you’re not a human or you don’t use…you don’t have lungs, do you?  No, I do not.

 

Also, some other group snuck in through the roof and searched the camp.  We’re hoping they didn’t find any information, but we’re headed off.  So, keep up the great work keeping this area safe.  Eleanor, is there…could we rest in here?  As the Dungeon Master, I can answer.  Eleanor says no, the leak is still…so we’re gonna go.  Great seeing you.  Can you seal these doors behind us though so that nothing leaks out?  I can.  I will use my final spell, actually.  Since there’s no wizards to protect, I will use my final spell and all the magic within me to seal these doors forever.  Okay, ‘cause yeah, I guess that works, right everybody?  Yeah.  Okay, thanks.  We’ll see you later.  Thanks, guardian.  Goodbye, everyone.  Okay, so you exit there and now you’re back on the…you’re back.

 

Facing the other side of the way is…so there’s a path, kinda the main street of The Land of Tomorrow, and you could see directly across from you, kind of going all the way, is a underhang.  There’s a track with one of the transportation rides that ran through The Land of Tomorrow.  You could kinda see the main sign for the Wonders of Steam.  You could kinda make out that the entrance is off to the right and the exit is on the left there, but there’s also the…that’s the entrance to the queue.  Okay, I think we should…no, no, no, this is Grenada of Darmok; I think we should observe for a minute and see.  I don’t know, my sense is we need to roll.  Okay, go ahead.  Oh, so you do; Grenada of Darmok does notice…doesn’t have an…I see some movement up above the second and third storey ‘cause it’s kind of like…kind of a steampunky-type building.

 

It’s actually made stylistically to fit with this futuristic deco look of this building but in its own kind of Victorian steamy way.  But you see some movement of something up there, non…inconsistent movement that you would associate with someone watching the main entrance.  Okay.  Can I see their line of sight or anything?  No.  Okay, would there be a way — Grenada of Darmok asking — could we go down to our right on this side if we stay low?  Stay close to the building and then maybe either go under that bridge or sneak from the bridge and reassess when we get over there and maybe sneak across the path and try to find another back way into this building?  I think you could sneak on the side of the building and then reassess if your group thinks so.  Okay, so we do…yeah, what does everybody think?  Is that okay?

 

Go ahead.  Why don’t you go ahead?  Would it be easier if you go and scout it out stealthily?  Yeah, that’s…I can do that.  So, I go to the edge of the bridge and I look again.  You look and you see…wow, you definitely sense that this would be a good place to sneak across, that it’s probably out of the line of sight of whatever it is you saw earlier.  Okay, so I go back and report that and we sneak across the path right where you said which is I guess…yeah, at the entrance where you would come off the bridge, you crawl across the path, all of you, quietly and stealthily.  You’re at the furthest part of the entrance to the queue of the Wonders of Steam and there’s an overhang, so you get under the overhang and that’s where you are right now.

 

Okay, this is Eleanor; I’m…so we know that there’s some sort of living or non-living being watching this but we also know that the genie’s inside, or we’re supposed to see the genie, so maybe it’s hidden in the genie’s eyes or hidden behind a poster of a genie, so we have to get in here and search.  Also, we’re not at 100%.  We know someone’s watching in the entrance.  Is there any back doors we could look for on the right…keep going around the right side of the building away from the person watching and at the same time, double check?  Yeah, you could do that if you’re…okay, so we agree to do that?  Yes, yes.  Zell?  Yeah, yeah.  Okay, so you successfully find a back door, like an employee door and you listen at it and you don’t hear anything.  Okay, and was the door open or closed or lock…?

 

Can we…the door’s locked.  Grenada?  Okay, Grenada of Darmok here; I will try to pick this lock.  You successfully unlock the door, very quietly.  You open it up and it’s kinda like a small room where I guess employees would sit.  There’s some old monitors that are broken that they maybe monitored the queue with, there’s some old buttons and an old telephone for communicating, and then there’s another set of…another door.  Okay, can we all…is there…is this room big enough for us to rest or hide in?  No.  The room barely fits all of you standing up.  Okay, it’s…what is the door’s status?  Can we open the door?  Should we open the door?  I think we should listen at the door first.  Okay.  You don’t detect anything.  Okay.  Can we open the door?  So, you do.

 

The door…because that door was locked, this door opens very easily.  It does open inward, so then you all have to back up.  Then you open it and actually, then there’s a set of curtains blocking the door.  You could see…to the right you just see an aisle and to the left you see the back…some seats, like for a…that this is some sort of theatre.  You kinda see that the room kinda circles around, but in the back not that far to your left is the entrance and the exit doors.  Okay, how…where are the entrance and exit doors?  It looks like one set of doors is…there’s a center aisle or no, no, no, I guess it’s on the…all the way to…yeah, there’s a center aisle [01:10:00] so maybe that isn’t the entrance.  I don’t know.  I’m not a…like, that’s…but there’s a bunch of doors and then there’s a bunch of doors on the bottom-left side.

 

Those are traditionally the exit doors.  Okay.  Yeah, usually they make people go in on the left.  Anyway, so should we peek around the curtain or what should we do?  Should we just walk in the room?  You could peek around the curtain, Von Chill.  Okay, so I peek around the curtain.  So, you peek around the curtain and you notice…so you’re looking in a giant octagonal room, a theatre, and it has…it’s a theatre built on a platform, so the seating actually spins…like, moves…back in the day it would have moved around.  There’s giant screens and below the screens there’s false doors and…or hidden doors.  You only notice that…that had paintings on them ‘cause a lot of the doors are open.  A couple are closed.  Then you notice at the front of the room is this giant pedestal and there’s some spotlights.

 

A couple of them are still on.  On the pedestal is a blue robot who’s waving at you.  You say wait, is…that’s…it says hello, hello.  Then you get something in the pit of your stomach and you notice to the right are two giant steam…twenty-foot-high steam giants with top hats that look pretty powerful.  Then you also notice a bunch of other…in various states of Victorian steam bots, not as giant as the steam giants; more of like…that must have been part of the ride.  I could go into deeper discussions but we’re up against a time crunch now, so what are you gonna do, Von Chill?  Does everybody hear that?  Somebody’s calling us, a blue…I think it might be the genie.  Are you the…should I…can I say are you the genie, everybody?  Go ahead.  Hello, are you the genie?

 

The genie says yes, yes, I…and it’s a familiar voice you would associate with a genie.  Says come right in.  I’ve been waiting for all of you.  It’s so good to see you.  Are you adventurers?  Yes we are.  We’re slow to approach though because you’re giants and other beings, and…but we’re looking for the genie.  Well, you found the genie and I think I noticed that you’ve been through a lot.  Why don’t you rest here as my guests?  We have the steam bots to protect us, the steam giants, and you’ll be safe here.  Make camp and just trust me.  I’m the Steam Genie.  So, what do we do, everybody?  I don’t trust the Steam Genie.  Okay, but…so, we leave, or…?  What if we just rest?  If we ask the genie if we can rest on the side of the room in shifts and we just take turns resting; three awake, two on?

 

We start with Von Chill and I rest and you three watch until we recover our hit points and then you three rest.  How’s that sound?  Yes, I’ll…genie, we kind of barely trust you so is it okay if we rest here on this side of the room and then we’ll build trust as we get some rest?  That’s fine.  Why don’t you all rest and we’ll talk soon?  In fact, why don’t you all lie down, even though some of you are gonna be watching over me?  Get comfortable, put out your bed rolls.  The floor here was once…it’s still carpeted.  This room’s been mostly preserved comparatively, and my steam bots are here and we just need…we have a quest for you in exchange for the information you’re looking for ‘cause I know you’re looking for something because they told me you would come and you would help me.  So rest and then know that you’ll help me.

 

If you don’t, I don’t want to…I have the steam giants, so we could get along or not.  So, rest and know that we should get along.  Alright, goodnight everybody.  See you next week.  Okay, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight.  Goodnight, adventurers.  Goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

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