917 – The Fox and The Frog | Otter Things 11

EPISODE 917 – The Fox and The Frog | Otter Things 11

 

[START OF RECORDING]

SCOOTER:        Hey everybody, it's Scooter.  I'm gonna start it out with saying ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, all our forest friends and swamp…people in the swamp, swamp-based beings, SBBs, it's time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to…it's in his conductor voice to put you to sleep.  Let's get on with the show.

 

INTRO:        [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I'm gonna do the rest.  What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever is keeping you awake whether it's thoughts running through…things you're thinking about on your mind about the past or the present or the future, feelings.  Those could be emotions coming up or physical sensations, changes in time or temperature or routine, so any of those things.  You say well, there's been a change in my routine here.  Okay, well, yeah, let me see if I could help with that.  Or whatever it is; whatever's keeping you awake, I'd like to help.

 

What I'd like to…the way I'm gonna help is I'm gonna try to take your mind off…and keep you company while you fall asleep.  The way I'm gonna try to do that is I'm gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.  Oh, I try to create a safe place.  I kinda said that but I always like to emphasize that.  Comfortable, roomy, or cozy; we have it all.  We're the placiest of the safe places.  Oh, you know…yeah, I don't know if you've…because now…right now when I'm recording this, of course this…well, I'll talk about it in a minute if I remember.  Hold on, I'm gonna grab a pen and write it on my hand.  Okay, so you didn't hear that pause or when I had to redo this take 'cause I dropped the pen, but I'll try to come back to it 'cause new listeners, I want to get to you.  I'm gonna try to create a safe place.  I'm gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.

 

I'm gonna use lulling, soothing…eventually they'll be soothing for some…if you're new.  Soothing, creaky, dulcet tones.  Oh, so creaky are my dulcet tones.  I live in California so right now they're extra creaky.  They are.  If you're new, I'm glad you're here.  I do want to give you a bunch of information because this podcast is a lot different than so-called normal podcasts.  Naturally, that can throw people off and I totally understand that.  Let me give you some information so you have it.  First thing to know is this podcast is not for everybody but even for the people that listen on a regular basis which is a significant amount of people, it took two or three tries or five tries, but I would say two or three tries is a honest effort to see if this podcast is gonna work for you.  You might say you want me to do honest effort to listen to your podcasts?  I say no, not so much.

 

I want my…I do desire my podcast to help you fall asleep, so that's my motivation, is to give it two or three tries.  I would only say yeah, it takes…I'm with you because all this sleep stuff, it takes a lot of work.  You say, why does it have to take so much work for me to get a good night's sleep?  I've been asking myself that my whole life, in much stronger words than that.  It really isn't fair.  I totally…I'd say well, giving this podcast two or three tries is worth a shot at this point because if you've tried even half the stuff I've tried, you've probably spent a bunch of money and invested a lot of time and mostly emotion 'cause you say well, I hope this one works.  Or at least for me, I got those brain bots.  I say well, I'm gonna try this new routine.  You say why…I thought you were trying…you know what I mean.  It's not easy being one of us.  Whether this podcast works for you or not, I hope you get a good night's sleep.

 

But give this a few tries.  I mean, I guess my main thing is to say if you're skeptical or doubtful, that totally makes sense, like we just talked about.  We've seen a lot of sleepless people.  That's one thing.  Give it a few tries if you're skeptical or doubtful or you feel like this is…you're making a face while you listen to this at first.  That's totally normal 'cause this is different.  Also, to go along with that, it's not…this is really not a podcast or even a sleep podcast or sleep audio that you've listened to.  This one is one podcast that's halfway in-between being something that you listen to to put you sleep or that you don't listen to that's background noise, or right in-between those things, and it could be either way.  You could totally make me background noise or you could kinda pay attention.  But just kinda barely pay attention if you're new until you develop a way that you like to listen, and then maybe that'll even change.

 

Just barely listen to me.  If you're new and you try to figure out the podcast or you're waiting for it to be like the other stuff, it just doesn't…we don't ever get there.  That's that.  Oh, and this isn't really a podcast that puts you to sleep.  I guess that kinda goes along with it.  It's more a podcast that keeps you company and takes your mind off of stuff…barely engages you while you fall asleep.  There's those things that are important to know, then the other thing that can throw new people off is the structure of the show.  The structure of the show kinda goes like this; it goes lady…greeting.  Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, and all our…I don't know if I said it, but our swamp-based beings 'cause this is our friends, our forest friends.  There's a greeting so you know you're welcome, then there's business.

 

The business keeps the show going…coming out twice a week instead of being a paywalled thing.  There's business, then there's an intro.  The intro is around twelve to twenty minutes long.  I guess I kinda find it…it just doesn't work for everybody, that idea, at least at first, especially…I mean, there's nothing I get more…other than my voice and my personality, the other thing I get the most strongly-worded e-mails about is the intro and the business because for someone that's feeling strongly about it, it just is one thing.  They say, what is this, twenty minutes of this stuff?  Let me at least try to meet you where you are, if you're even close to feeling that way which is legitimate and understandable.  The intro is an organic thing.  It's kind of a show within a show, is the easiest way to say it.  But for regular listeners, it's part of their bedtime routine or their wind-down routine.

 

You could experiment; you could start it before you get into bed or you could start it when you get into bed.  You could also start it and start to do some other mellowing-out thing whether it's drawing or…maybe you just play with Legos for fifteen minutes.  I don't know.  I'd like that.  Hey Legos, how come you're not pitching that to adults and maybe even kids?  Like, play with Legos for fifteen minutes.  It's pretty…Legos, they're pretty chill.  Or a Lego competitor; Playmobil.  You don't have my number but I'm definitely down.  You say well, we're changing…or some other action figures.  They're not just for action anymore.  Dolls; they're not…they're not just for imaginary playing.  They're for chilling out.  It's true.  You're nodding your head.  I can tell.  But so, just kinda…the idea of the intro is to give you some distance between the day and bed, to ease you into bedtime.

 

Now, there are a percentage of listeners…2% of regular listeners for our free feed and then a percentage of patrons that just consume the stories.  For the free feed, your best bet is just to go to twenty minutes or twenty-two minutes and start playing it there.  But I would only do that after you get used to the podcast because otherwise it's gonna be even more strange.  Okay, so that's the intro.  Then there's business.  That's how the podcast business works, is the midroll, they call it.  That's where a lot of our business is, between the intro and the episode.  That's kinda again just important to bring you the show.  Then there's our story which is a [00:10:00] episodically modular series.  You can listen to it in any order.  Just a bedtime story, we'll say.  It's called Otter Things.  It's about otters and other beings in the swamp.  Then there's thank-yous at the end of the show.  That's the structure of the show.

 

That's the next thing to know.  Then the other thing you want to know is that I make this show because I've been there tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep.  I know how it feels and I just want something a little bit nice and a little bit relieving for you to just give you some comfort and to take your mind off of stuff, to help.  I hope I can provide that.  The reason I want to help is one, because I've been there but two, because you deserve a good night's sleep.  You deserve a place where you can rest, feel comfortable, and have some distance between the day and you so that tomorrow you're rested and you can live your life.  Like I said, it's not fair.  It's not enjoyable.  Really, one of my other goals is to just make bedtime something you don't have to dread.  Even if you can't…even if we can't get to the point where you look forward to it, you say well, it's not as bad with Scoots.

 

That's what I hope the regular listeners…well, I got Scoots there so at least I got something.  I got my cat, I got my…I don't put my Legos in bed, obviously.  I got my former action figures.  Now I call them chill figures or play figures, and my dolls which I still call dolls.  But yeah.  Also, I can't patent that title; chill figures, but if you do have…whatever.  I don't know what companies are still making those kind of toys, but get in touch with me, you know?  Hasbro; do you even exist anymore?  ‘Cause if you do, I know…I'm pretty sure that's who used to make action figures.  Or you could…we'd have to get this word because I think somebody probably owns this.  Whoever owns the rights to Superbad, but we could call them chillaction…chillaxin' figures.  That almost works.  Whatever I wrote on my hand, I won't even talk about anymore 'cause we don't need to now that we've stumbled on chillaxin' figures.

 

You say, tell me more about your vision for chillaxin' figures.  I'd say well, thanks, I'm glad I have the great toy conglomerates here all together in one room so you all just have one chance to shower me with your toy billions.  But we're not taking any toy money, by the way.  Oh, could you pay me in Star Wars…no.  Please don't bring that up because…please don't try to tempt me with toy-based bonuses because they won't be accepted because I'm so…because they would work, but…I can't take any toy-based bonus.  I mean, it'd be great if you just accidentally left some toys somewhere, but it wouldn't impact my decision-making at all.  If a giant container of chillaxin' figures showed up somewhere…but also, I have nowhere to put it.  I live in an apartment, so…but so, okay.  Thanks for all of you coming.

 

This vision of the chillaxin' figure; now I know this is outside of the toy box or whatever you call that plastic…whatever the heck it's called.  I'm not trying to say you have limited vision but I…when I do pitch…when I pitch chillaxin' figures to my toys, some of my toys said so it's just like an action figure or a doll lying in a beach chair?  I say no, no, no.  That's an action figure chillaxin'.  That's something totally different than a chillaxin' figure.  An action figure chillaxing – just to do a basic grammar lesson if I can – the action figure is the noun and the chillaxin's the verb.  A chillaxin' figure is a proper noun or one day will be.  It's a figure or a toy…a toy-based…a figure-based toy for…that you use when you're chillaxing which is mild action, kind of, just like Superbad but this is nothing like…just because that word was so great.  Okay, so then…I can't…just can't get that idea though of a toy just sitting on a…well, that's pretty relaxing.  That's a relaxing use of a toy, having a toy on a beach chair.

 

But how long is that gonna be relaxing for?  Chillaxing figure takes…it's just basically playing with toys while you're relaxing.  It's just a new…it's just branding.  Come on, this is brand…this might not be Branding 101 but I don't think it's at 201.  Maybe.  Just relax.  It's just a new way to play with toys.  I think it also offers a opportunity to accessorize 'cause you could have…'cause you don't want any…most of these toys, you don't want to have in bed with you 'cause I know your…most of your toys are plastic-based and they're a bit hard.  This doesn't mean oh, now…so we should have soft toys?  No, no, no.  There's stuffed animals and plush.  That's what you have in bed with you.  Oh, I see your hand in the back.  What are you from, one of the plush-makers?  Why don't you just play with your plush toys in bed and call those chillaxin' figures?  I don't want to pull rank here but I'm the expert.  I'll tell you exactly why.

 

I got an answer for this.  I'm glad we're having this press conference in the middle of a sleep podcast intro and business pitch, but I'll just answer this last question before I…we…before you can figure out who's gonna…when.  It's emotion, basically, to talk about why can't you just chillax with your stuffed animals?  Your relationship with your stuffed animals or your plush is different than with your chillaxin'…or formally action figures or toys, your daytime toys.  You have an emotional resonance with the plush that is more for comforting, for snuggling, and for sleeping.  Now, there is some play…I'm sure there's some play time with them, and that's good.  But it contextually…it's a totally different level of playing.  Just to take you back to Scooter's beginning of an in…his intro, a plush or a stuffed animal…bed-based plush; now, this is just bed-based plush, right?  Is that's when you're fully in bed and disengaged.

 

An action figure, a Lego, a doll, or other things is for daytime playing.  A chillaxin' figure is the bridge between these two worlds.  Those are three different emotional resonances.  You understand?  The best part is well, I'll be creating it.  You'll just be paying me for it and waiting for me to return your calls and get stuff done which will be a while.  Say Scoots, how is that proposal of the…?  I say well, it's coming along.  I say, send to voicemail.  Is that Hasbro HQ calling?  This sent to voicemail.  Anyway, if you're new, I'm glad you're here.  I really hope this podcast can help you get some rest.  Give it a few tries.  I work really hard, I yearn and I strive and I really want to help you fall asleep.  Thanks again for coming by and here's a couple of ways we're able to bring this podcast to you twice a week.

 

Alright, hey everybody, it's Scoots here and this is our ongoing episodically modular series…what's it…oh, Otter Things.  I don't know why my mind blanked on that.  You say it's episodically modular.  It's serial too, but it's modular.  This is a first; this is groundbreaking stuff for sleep podcasting and all other…'cause I'm not anti-narrative.  There was a big…especially in the 90s, there was this…and there's always a anti-narrative movement, right?  Also, I want to say I'm not anti-anti-narrative.  I'm just saying that in this sleep podcast, this sleep podcast is not anti-narrative.  How did I get so mixed up when I'm trying to introduce a fictional story?  Oh, the groundbreaking part is that it's episodically modular, serialized, so that means you can listen to it in any order and any sequence.  You'll still get the seriality if you want it.  But it's like, I don't want this seriality to be something…well, I've never listened to this before.

 

I don't know if I'll like it or I don't want to listen to it out of order.  Those are all natural concerns and I think that concern comes from an uncomfortableness with anti-narrative 'cause you say well, I…and I say don't worry, I got you covered.  I'm not anti…this is an [00:20:00] anti-narrative.  It's an ability to listen to the narrative in any order 'cause one, Emma Otter's gonna come and she's gonna catch you up on all the details, but it's also like…I don't know, we just…I write the stories in a way that you could listen to them in any order and you'll still…you might even get more out of it.  Also, you may be…this is just for people that…your brain bots might say well, I can't listen to this one.  I really think you'll get a lot of out of listening to this and you don't need to listen to it, also.  You can, so that's why I put all this work in, is because you could listen but you don't really need to.

 

But I want to let you know that you could listen and not…I want to give you permission.  I'm not trying to circumvent the party of this as whoa, whoa, whoa, I can't listen to Episode 11 first.  I say well, you could.  Why don't you give it a try and see how it goes?  You can listen…you could listen to it or you could fall asleep during it.  Either way, I'm gonna be here.  I'm just here to help and I made it special for you, brain bot.  I know you're a completist and I know you like to listen to things in the right order, but this one – like I've said in other beginnings – you could consider Episode 11, Episode 1, and all of the other ones are prequels.  Then you say well, I don't know about that 'cause…I say well, just look at it like a thought experiment or research.  Just give it a try.  That's what I want you to know about the episodically modular serialized aspect.  Everything else; our host Emma Otter…she's…this is archived audio I've discovered from the 1990s.  Well, I don't know when Emma recorded it, actually.  This just took place in the…that's a good question, huh?  Anyway, here's Emma Otter.

 

Hello everyone.  Emma Otter here, and thank you for listening.  I'm happy to be in your ears.  I'm Emma Otter.  I'm telling you the story of some things that took place in our town not that long ago, some odd, odder things.  I'm an otter though, and I'm talking about O-D-D-E-R things 'cause this story, while it involves me, an otter, and my brother Teffe, an otter, there are other forest friends or swamp friends, members of our swamp community and my family, my larger swamp family, involved in this story.  But I want to also catch you up on everything that's happened.  Once upon a time, there was an otter named Emma.  She was pretty good but not…she wasn't perfect.  She had a best friend and also some other very, very, very good friends that she mentions in no particular order of their…at all.  But her and her very, very close friends like to play a game called Bards and Big Bunnies, a roleplaying game.

 

You play with dice and your…the theatre of the mind.  My friends' names were Willow, Vaughn, and Elijah, or LJ.  We were playing one night and we finished up our game at my house, and my friends headed home.  But Willow, on her way home, took the path less-taken.  At some point, I'll tell you right up front, she crossed over into a world between worlds, kind of, or something.  She encountered a big bunny.  Part bunny, part goose; a goose-bunny.  The goose bunny took her to a place beyond the swamp, but we didn't know this at the time.  We spent a lot of time looking until we realized wow, Emma's…we've gotta find Emma and get her back from this goose-bunny.  Now remember, I always tell you all will be well, and even when things aren't all well…the goose-bunny was taking care of Emma in a misguided way, I believe.  I truly believe this even though I don't have all of the facts.

 

The goose-bunny had…it was in a place that was in-between our world and another world and maybe a portal between those worlds.  I don't know if the goose-bunny was lonely or was looking for playthings, but pretended Emma was a baby.  But there's something going on where there's a transference between worlds or universes or planets.  I don't know the technology.  I don't think the bunny was doing it out of…to be not nice.  It was more just a unintended consequence of the bunny's behavior.  Also, this was not a bunny with full consciousness.  It may have been a younger bunny that was big.  I don't know any of those details.  But I just want to let you know the circumstances.  We've been looking for Emma.  While we were looking for Emma, we met a new friend from a place beyond the swamp; Billie, a platypus, we found out.  Billie's a platypus.  She also has powers.

 

When she sings or throat sings or bill sings, she can make things happen, like make things float.  She can project herself into these other worlds and see things, she could make you move in slow motion or dance or any of those things.  Billie's been helping us to find Willow and we've all become pretty good friends.  That's been happening.  Meanwhile, my brother Teffe and Willow's sister Dari have also been looking for Willow.  They also have a theory about the big bunny.  They had been trying to help get Willow…and Willow's mom Frances, and our community resource officer of our town, Leon the bullfrog, Bull, have also been trying to help Willow.  We all got together and we found out that Willow was in a place beyond the swamp.  It's both our world and another world.  She's there.  We also learned that Dari's friend Babs who also had encountered this big bunny…now unfortunately, Babs…the unintended consequences for Willow…it's more of like well, this could happen…what happened to Babs.

 

Babs seems like she's fully in the other world, at least physically.  She could still see through the eyes…she became a doll in our world, basically, a play…a plastic doll or…I don't know what the doll was made of, but we'll just say that.  Physically, she's in another world or another universe or maybe another planet.  I don't know, but not here where she could come back.  We could see her through the eyes of the doll, or Billie could.  We say well, if we don't find Willow, that's probably what's gonna happen to Willow, and then she'll be stuck in this other world like Babs is which is fine.  I just want to tell you, we kinda got the feeling from Babs, it's fine, that other world, but then she doesn't have the ability to just come here, so she might miss her friends and stuff.  Of course, all this is a lot of times ego-driven.  We don't want to be without Willow, of course, in our lives.

 

Dari and Babs had a falling out, so I think Dari's probably broken up about it but she's not like…it's not like her sister or her best, best friend.  I think well…I don't know, I can't speak for her.  But you know what I mean.  You want someone back in your life.  So, we're all at our high school, the high school gym where we had built a fort to use…that way, Billie could try to communicate and find all this information.  That's kinda where we start tonight, is that we took a nap together and we've woken up after we rested, and maybe we even rested for the whole day or night.  I don't know.  It still feels like it's dark outside, because it is.  At first what happened was that Leon tried to sneak out.  We were all sleeping in this fort…like a tent, like a lodge.  Leon, the bullfrog, tried to leave and then Frances got up and followed Leon.  Leon said well, Frances, I want you to keep an eye on the kids.  She said, where are you going?

 

He said, you know where I'm…kinda got a general idea of where I'm going.  I'm going to the place beyond the swamp to find my way in and get Willow.  Frances said Bull, Willow's my daughter.  Leon said well, this is my job as community resource officer.  I'm a authority figure and you're just a mom.  Frances said I'm sorry, excuse me?  Excuse me?  Really?  Excuse me?  I'm coming with you.  I'm not even gonna dignify that with any more than multiple excuse-me's and the way I'm looking at you.  So, let's go get my daughter.  They headed off and then Dari woke up.  Dari was…had been dreaming about her friend Babs, so she went off 'cause she was having strong feelings.  She went to feel her feelings and let them really come up, her strong feelings about missing Babs, about Babs not…now being definitely [00:30:00] not a part of her life, and that…why did that happen to Babs?  All those things.

 

She was really…had the ability to just let her feelings come up and feel them and be overpowered for a time by them.  At some point then, Teffe woke up and Teffe headed out 'cause Teffe could hear the tail end of Dari's strong feelings; sniffling.  I would guess that Teffe was even waiting for the tail end because it might have been too much for someone like Teffe, but that's just me.  He's my brother.  I'm judgmental.  But then Dari went out to…or Teffe went out to Dari and said jeez, sorry about Babs.  Dari said well, I guess I'll never see her again.  Teffe said, yeah.  Still can't believe it, huh?  But you sound like you've gone onto another stage of acceptance or something.  Dari said well, at least you'll never kiss her again, I guess.  Teffe said yeah, I guess so.  I guess we'll just keep an eye on these kids.  Where'd the adults go?

 

Dari said, I think you could figure out where they went; they went to get Willow in the place beyond the swamp which is a Visitor's Center and a bog walk, but also a secret government facility with more than likely a portal to another world.  Teffe said yeah, you're right.  That's probably where they went.  Dari said, and we'll need to do something.  Teffe said well, if the…it sounds like they got a handle.  She said, the going and getting Willow part, but the big bunny…the carrots…we collected everything.  We need to lure the big bunny away from the place beyond the swamp.  We have to be B-A-I-T to…we have to lead the goose-bunny on a wild goose chase, at least for a period of time and maybe keep it as a pet or for the…so it could be observed so that they can get…Teffe said okay, I think I understand.  We had a plan going.  Dari said well, it's time to put our plan in action.  Teffe said okay, you're right.

 

They headed off, and then we started to wake up.  We wondered where they were.  We said, all the adults are gone and even the teens are gone, so it's just the four of us on our own.  We should just probably wait here and hang out, lay low until they come back.  Now meanwhile, I was kinda lying there wondering what Frances and Leon were doing.  I tried to imagine where they were, if they had discovered Willow, but now I kinda know.  I get to tell you that they headed out and they drove and then they snuck across the road that separates our place from the swamp.  They tried to quietly get on the bog walk and they were gonna sneak into the Visitor's Center and head down to the facility.  But as they snuck on the bog walk, they took a few steps and all of a sudden…and you see this in movies; I always wondered where does this really happen?

 

But all of a sudden, the bog walk which is a wooden walk on a bog…not that we would use it.  This was a place beyond the swamp we didn't really go.  Some people would say it was remnants from when humans roamed the Earth.  But we all know that's just fiction, so probably just something that people…we built and forgot about even though it's not…the size was different and the Visitor's Center was different.  But anyway, so they were walking on the bog walk and all of a sudden, they felt things moving.  Then the bog walk dropped down and became…the wooden part dropped down and they found themselves on a bouncy house slide, a really long one though.  They slid down this bouncy house slide and it wrapped around probably…I said well, if that was on the bog walk and we knew about it, we'd use that all the time.

 

But then for them, the bouncy house slide circled down and down and down and eventually ended in a bouncy house room where they came out, but then they…Bull…they actually had it designed so that Bull bounced and slid down another slide, but then something caught Frances.  There was a exit like there is on most bouncy houses.  She still had her shoes on but she slid out of the bouncy house and then was in this kinda stark room.  She kinda looked where Bull went, but it wasn't…she couldn't get through there.  She walked towards the door.  The room had a door and the door was closed, but she walked up to the knob, put her hand on the knob and twisted it and opened it.  She opened the door and sitting in a room with a two-way mirror was Dr.  Max Modine with a lab coat and everything and even a thing that said Dr.  Max…name tag…the name tag.  Or maybe it was stitched into the pocket of his lab coat.

 

Said hey, sit down, Frances.  Let's talk.  Frances closed the door behind her because she has great manners and she saw that there was another door.  She sat down across from Dr.  Max Modine, maximum…but it said Dr.  Max.  She said yeah, let's talk.  Go ahead.  Dr.  Max said we need your help.  We need to know where that platypus is because we need the platypus to deal with the bunny.  Also, we need the platypus back.  Frances said, Billie.  Dr.  Max gulped and said yeah, Billie.  He said, Billie belongs here and also, we'll put a stop to the bunny.  It was a accident and we didn't know what would happen.  Sorry about Willow, but if you have any information like on anything strange happening or odd, we…any more…to fill us in 'cause we're also…even though we act like we have all the knowledge, we don't.  We've been listening into most of your stuff, but not everything.  But you know, we want to do what's right.

 

Then Frances started to laugh, laugh only a knowing but strong, strong in her outraged mother could laugh, a laugh that wasn't ironic or sarcastic but that was full of knowledge at ridiculous adult behavior.  She said listen Dr.  Max, I know Billie.  She's my friend.  I care about her and I know who you are.  She goes, we went to the library, one, but I've looked into Billie's eyes and…no, I'm not gonna help you find Billie.  Also, I demand to see Willow.  I would say that this was probably a strategy, though if you watched it, you were just observing it or you were Dr.  Max, you would have thought huh, this is strange, odd, over-the-top behavior.  But I think it was strategic that then Frances just started laughing and didn't stop.  She was laughing in a way that was aggressive and intimidating.  Dr.  Max just couldn't handle it and had to leave the room because Dr.  Max's fancy words and stuff just turned to a puddle of nothing in the face of a mother's laughter, aggressive laughter.

 

There's nothing passive about it.  Now meanwhile, Bull had gone down to another room and was in this room with a bunch of these weasels that worked for Dr.  Max.  They had Bull laying on a tanning bed which I guess is something that simulates sunlight.  They knew what it was and they explained it; they said this simulates sunlight, frog, and we're gonna turn it on.  Don't you breathe through your skin?  [00:40:00] Don't you need to have a certain wetness?  They were making jokes; I guess we'll find out.  Or you could just tell us where that kid is, the duck-billed beaver.  Bull said well, you know what really…you know the most sensitive part of me is my tongue.  Why don't you…they said, what?  Bull said, watch; if you put my tongue in there, I'll tell you everything I know.  These were weasels; they weren't exactly known for being quick.  No offense to smart weasels.  These weasels were more hire…weasels for hire.

 

Then Bull stuck Bull's tongue…now, the tanning bed has two…it gives you sunlight on both sides of your body.  I don't know who would need this again…maybe…but it'd been…was working.  But Bull took Bull's tongue and wrapped it around…and then closed the tanning bed and said go ahead; turn it on.  Then Bull turned it on and Bull's face started to say…but Bull was talking with his tongue out.  Like, I won't tell anybody anything unless…I'm gonna dry my tongue out unless you let me talk to your boss.  I won't be able to tell your boss anything with a dried-out tongue.  It's your choice.  Which kinda confuses me but confused the weasels as well 'cause Bull wouldn't be able to talk to their boss if he had a dried-out tongue which is what he wanted to do.  But again, this was a heightened moment and the tanning bed was making this humming sound.

 

Bull's face was sweating because his tongue was being…he had it on low 'cause they had planned on slowly heightening…getting Bull to talk.  He said, just let me talk to your boss, Dr.  Max.  Eventually, they relented and then Bull went into the room or another room where Dr.  Max was sitting.  Bull sat down across from Dr.  Max and Bull said hi, Dr.  Max.  Good to see you again.  Dr.  Max said well, I want to talk to you about the situation and Willow and doing what's right and helping us find Billie because that's the only thing that's gonna stop any of this.  I know you're…aren't you the community…aren't you the resource officer of the whole community?  Because until we get Billie back here to deal with the bunny, you're…and Bull said interesting, interesting.  I guess something else I wanted to talk to you about, Dr.  Max, if you don't mind…Dr.  Max kinda said, okay.

 

Bull said do you remember that movie the Fox and the Frog?  It was my favorite movie as a kid.  It was the first movie I ever saw in the movie theatre.  Dr.  Max said yeah, yeah, they were best friends, the fox and the frog; friends forever.  Wasn't that the subtitle of the movie?  Bull went croak, ribbet, or something, and he said yeah, until the fox grew up, right?  Then Max kinda nodded and said yep, and then that fox fell in with that group of foxes who said this is the natural order of things, the circle of life.  You can't be friends with a frog.  Don't you understand?  This is how foxes are.  We foxes run free, or foxes run wild.  Dr.  Max said okay, yeah, yeah, I get it.  Not your favorite movie, huh?  Bull said yeah, it wasn't 'til the very end.  There was a thing where the fox was chasing the frog right at the end of the movie, towards the end of the movie.  The fox had bought into the other…the fox…that fox mentality.

 

They'd chase the frog up that…they lived in that world on the edge of that steampunk world.  I think it was trying to introduce another movie or something.  They went up that waterwheel and the fox…the frog got away but the fox ended up going in, and the waterwheel had built up a charge that gave the fox a little S-H-O-C-K, a shocky-poo.  Then the fox needs the frog, right?  ‘Cause it was an accident; the frog didn't mean for it to happen.  That's when the fox realized the error of the fox's ways, right?  Yeah, yeah, Leon.  That's a very nice parable.  This one, aren't you here…the frog to save Willow and your town?  Isn't that why we're here anyway?  Listen fox, I know you want the platypus and you were wondering…you don't know where the platypus is.  Let's talk deals.  That's strange, Leon, because it's out of character for you.  You're just gonna make a deal with me?

 

I mean, I get it; you want to save the kid but I don't know…something…I'm not the first…this isn't my first foxing, you know what I'm saying?  It just doesn't make any sense to me so why should I trust you?  Well, Dr.  Max, let me…it should be obvious but let me lay it out for you if I need to.  I got another parable for you because I don't know if you knew that there was a second fox in the frog movie.  It went straight to video, though.  It didn't make it in the theatres.  It wasn't even popular and it wasn't good, they said.  It was called Fox and the Frog: Froggy in the City.  You see the actor that played the fox had asked for too much money and for a direct video sequel.  They had become really famous in the time since the first release.  They were only contractually obligated to say ten words for the sequel.  The fox wasn't really in the second movie.  It was just the frog moving to the big city.

 

The frog is grown up and had been living next door to the fox the whole time.  They were best friends.  They ran a shop together; the whole nine yards.  Perfect happiness, living together, living in community.  They both had families but the frog had this crazy idea to move to the city and become a singer at the clubs, a lounge singer.  The big, big old, old…big, old, old city, you know?  The town so old and nice, they say old twice or thrice; old, old, old city, a big, old, old city.  I don't know.  I can't remember.  It's been a while since I've seen the movie.  Now, I have a theory about the movie and the frog, is that the frog had had so much action in that first movie and that thing with the wheel and all that, that deep down, the frog could never get back to that chase on the waterwheel and rescuing the fox, that it was too thrilling and the fox had spent its whole life trying to track that thrill down or waiting 'til it could get a thrill like that back.

 

Heroism and instant payoff, gratification, and maybe he just didn't feel comfortable in his own skin.  I don't know, but of course, the movie shows that the frog was wrong, but the frog headed off to the big city.  Fox told him not to go.  He ignored the fox.  Be reasonable…brought his family there.  But when he got there, alls he cared about was his dream; not about his friend the fox, not about his family.  It was just his dream and he wasn't a teachable person, this fox, you know.  It was all his ego and his stuff in this movie.  No wonder it wasn't popular, huh?  Who would want to watch a movie about this?  The frog didn't have a quiet place in him where ideas and love and comfort could take hold.  The frog had a lot of bad habits to tune out from all…cognitive dissonance and numbness and that whole thing.  But the frog kept telling himself everything's gonna be okay once I become a big star.  Everything's gonna be okay.

 

But it ended up between his bad behavior and his inability to be taught or to take any constructive [00:50:00] help, things didn't go well.  He ended up getting banned from every club in town.  His family had enough and he sunk so low that one time, he went out for a walk and he just kept walking 'til he found himself in the desert.  The sun was just shining down and the frog just kept walking.  I see you're interrupting me.  What's your question, Dr.  Max?  The desert?  What do you mean, the desert?  Yeah, the desert.  The fox came and got him.  Now, the fox didn't speak.  That was part of the brilliance of the movie, in my opinion, was they could have the fox appear there and go get its buddy from the desert and bring him back and nurse him back to health.  Brought him back to the swamp, of course, slowly helped him recover, taught him some new habits and didn't realize how far gone his buddy had been.

 

Okay, well, what…Leon, what does this have to do with anything?  Well, here I am, Dr.  Max.  I'm asking myself am I the frog or the fox in this situation?  You know what I'm saying?  Winkety-wink?  This is Emma here because I don't…when sometimes adults do that winkety-wink thing and I don't know what it means.  In this situation, I don't know what it meant even when I heard Leon recount it to me just like you did.  Is Leon the frog or the fox?  I don't know.  I don't know.  I mean, I would hope that the winkety-wink was a double winkety-wink, meaning he was trying to trick Dr.  Max.  But it could have been…'cause I don't know, it's hard to understand…or it was the winkety-wink that he's willing…he's balancing Willow and Billie.  I don't know, but I think the winkety-wink was that he was confident that he could be the fox and the frog in this situation or the…I think.  We'll get back to that, but then we also have Dari and Frances.

 

Kinda let me get you ready for this.  They had gotten their…they had…we're gonna catch up with them in kind of in the middle of something, but they had gathered everything else they needed; all the carrots, they had gone to Frances' house, they had made steps.  Now, the mascot at a nearby high school…I don't know when they acquired these but is the Cleanstown's carrots, is one of our nearby rival schools in Cleanstown.  When you picture this, picture Dari and Teffe…and especially Teffe, the smoothest otter in town, and they're in the living room of Frances' house dressed as carrots in carrot mascot outfits.  They're also kinda covering themselves with peanut butter and carrot shavings.  No, no, Teffe, you need to put your carrot shavings on the inside and the outside.  But even in my fur?  Yes, in your fur, Teffe.  It has to be everywhere.  In fact, you look like a cuter carrot with carrot shavings in your fur.

 

Thanks, that's really important to me, Dari.  Okay, let's go over the plan again.  Okay, so the bunny's gonna come in, right?  It'll smell us.  Eventually, it's…not gonna be long now.  Then it'll see us and there's a pile of carrot shavings at our feet, so as soon as we see the bunny, we're gonna run down the hall and we're gonna dance.  Then the bunny should eat these carrots…shavings, then look up at us and see us dancing and smell us and be like, I hit the jackpot; there's dancing, shedding carrots or something.  But what the bunny won't realize is that we had pushed the bowling ball that'll knock that egg over.  Then the egg will start frying.  Then the steam from the frying egg will melt that butter which will slide down there.  Okay, yeah, I know there's a lot of steps in there.  Okay, yeah, I'll skip ahead.  Eventually it'll turn on Ottie Ruckspin in the hall…at the back door.

 

Yeah, and so you recorded the beginning of that…wait a…Teffe, I don't mean to change the subject; this Ottie Ruckspin…it's an otter doll like a animatronic one but it's still a plush doll.  It was in your bed when we got it, so do you still sleep with this Ottie Ruckspin?  ‘Cause it had…it also had fresh batteries and I noticed you didn't have to change the fresh batteries.  You said don't worry, I know exactly…not like oh, I remember from when I was a kid how to record on this thing.  You said that it has a lullaby made to put anybody to sleep which is just ironic that it's Willow talking about all of the rules.  You fall asleep to Willow and Emma going over rules…what is that called?  Initiative?  So, you sleep with Ottie Ruckspin every night?  Listen Dari, that's a doll from when I was a child, a long, long, long time ago.  I keep it in my room.  It reminds me of when I was young and I was a kid.

 

Yeah, sometimes I'll turn it on for the sleep…yeah, it's like a…something to sleep to, those two talking about initiative.  But yeah, what I'm gonna do is…I recorded at the beginning; carrots, carrots, lots of free carrots over here.  That will cause the bunny to turn the bunny's head.  Then I started pretending I was doing some baby talk.  Baby want some carrots; that.  That'll be when the machine starts to reel in Ottie Ruckspin out the door, right?  While it does that, the bunny…the big bunny should at least have its eyes…I'll go on for a second…we'll sneak out the window and go around the back door.  That rope will pull Ottie Ruckspin out the back door, hopefully leading the bunny along because we stuffed it full of carrots and stuff.  Those are the top-tier carrots that we put with Ottie Ruckspin.  It'll eventually drag Ottie Ruckspin into the giant class-A carrot pile we have with the cargo net underneath it.

 

We'll be dancing on the other side of the cargo net.  The bunny will come out, Ottie Ruckspin will be singing…starting at that point…the bedtime talking of our sisters.  Then the net will lift up and the carrots…then more carrots…shavings…we have those buckets full of it with…peanut butter will rain down on the bunny.  The bunny should be caught but it will be covered in carrot confetti which should calm…it'll have…I think it'll calm it because it'll be listening to the bedtime story or whatever, and it'll be covered in carrot shreds.  First, it should be confused.  This is your theory.  Yeah, it should be confused.  You're right; thanks, Teffe.  I mean, we're just guessing here but I think it would calm it down and they'll be plenty for it to eat, and it'll be in that net.  What the heck is Teffe…Dari, what is it?  Your Ottie Ruckspin just walked into the room.  What the hello?  Ottie Ruckspin?

 

Wait a second, Ottie Ruckspin, what are you…hello, Teffe.  Oh, hello, Dari.  It's me, Ottie Ruckspin.  We're kind of like, Dari, I think I might…this must be a dream or something, right?  This isn't real.  No, it's real, Teffe.  Ottie, this isn't really a good time right now.  Also, don't tell Dari anything I told you about her 'cause you promised to keep my secrets, right, Ottie?  Please, just…when did you learn to walk around, anyway?  Oh, Teffe, how do you really feel about Dari?  Tell me more.  Ottie, what's going on with you?  Yeah, what's going on with your eyes, Ottie Ruckspin?  Wait a second, I can see Babs [01:00:00] and Ottie…Babs, is that you?  Dari, it is me.  Thank you.  I'm not Ottie Ruckspin, Teffe.  It's me, Babs.  I was drifting around the other world and I knew you could use some help.  I saw the two of you discussing your plans and I found my way into Ottie Ruckspin to try…also, I think the two of you should talk out your feelings for one another because now I'm gone.

 

I mean, I can be here as Ottie Ruckspin but not as Babs.  Okay, that's not a good…we don't need to talk about that.  Yeah, Babs, we don't need to talk about that.  It's just really not a good…we had a plan, Babs.  Thank you.  Oh my gosh, the earth is shaking.  The bunny is coming.  Excuse me, Tari and Deffe…or Dari and Teffe…if you were a couple, I'd call you Tarfe.  Why are you dressed as carrots, anyway?  I don't remember that part of the plan.  You look great.  Okay, can you…Babs, if you really want to help, you could just go lay back down right now because the wall is bending inwards, Teffe.  That's where the bunny's gonna come through.  Yeah, but that's the wall that has a…oh, it just came through the wall and knocked the bowling balls and the machine's not gonna work.  It's a giant goose-bunny staring at us and I just realized we're giant carrots.  Oh dear.

 

Babs, you better get outta here because we're gonna have to…okay, Teffe, let's just run down the hall.  Babs, what are you singing about?  Okay, if we run…we'll just keep…Babs, just stay right there 'cause you are confusing the bunny with your singing.  Okay Teffe, let's just go run back outside.  Okay, Teffe, if we run, we're…okay, let's…yeah.  Oh, good job running.  Now we'll go out this window.  I think the bunny was still…okay, so let's just get behind the net just like our plan.  I don't know where Babs went.  Okay, the bunny is…the bunny sees us.  It's coming out the back door.  I guess we didn't need the Ottie Ruckspin.  This is really a…this is good.  We just got a few more steps.  Keep dancing, Teffe.  Yep, do a carrot…dance like a carrot in the rain or something.  I don't know where Babs went or Ottie.  We're tasty carrots.  Oh boy, come and eat us.  Dari, I'm really worried.  I don't want…well, it's gonna go to the cargo net.

 

It's slowly coming.  It's just eating the carrot shreds on the way.  It's working.  Just keep dancing.  Yeah, here we are, right on the other side of this pile of carrots is two giant carrots.  Okay, just focus on being a carrot.  I'm a little carrot, orange and long, this is a carrot singing a carrot song.  Oh, what was that?  Was that someone that just said B-O-O behind us and made us jump into the cargo net which is pulling us up?  Teffe, did you…?  Yeah, that was Ottie Ruckspin.  Just said ‘boo' behind us.  We jumped into the cargo net and now it's bringing us up.  The bunny's coming.  It's right below us.  We're just out of reach of it.  Babs, why did you do that?  The bunny is trying to get us.  Okay, well at least we're out of reach of the bunny right now because the bowling ball didn't go.  It didn't release the carrot shreds and peanut butter buckets.  Okay Dari, I don't even know what that means.

 

If we can swing the cargo net a little, we could swing it out of the way and I can pull the rope and dump the peanut butter and carrot shreds on the bunny.  Well, why is that important right now?  Shouldn't we try to be…because the bunny can…the bunny just hasn't realized it can jump yet, for some reason.  Oh, I forgot bunnies can jump.  Okay, so just keep swinging.  We're doing good.  Push your foot out and see if you could push it against that…okay, great.  One more swing and I'm pulling the rope.  The big bunny is being covered in carrot shreds and peanut butter.  Really good that you did a three-to-one watering down of the peanut butter, Babs, 'cause it wouldn't have…sorry, Dari.  I didn't mean to…don't worry about it, Teffe.  But it's not…oh, wait a second.  The bunny is…the bunny seems to be…I guess our theory was wrong.

 

The bunny seems to be more upset because the goose things are eating the carrots off of itself and I don't think the bunny likes how that feels.  It looks like…but there's…look, there's Ottie Ruckspin with a wagon full of carrots and it's waving to the bunny.  It's letting the bunny chase it off.  Yeah.  Babs, where do you think they're going?  Well, I don't know, but Babs…behind your garage, but it looks like Babs kept going.  I didn't realize Ottie Ruckspin could run that fast.  Yeah, the bunny's…well, the bunny's kind of slowed down a little bit.  Okay, so what should we do?  Well, we should try to get out of the net and follow the…follow them.  But first, I think we should rest 'cause I'm just…this swinging is so gentle and calming; back and forth, back and forth.  It's so relaxing that I feel like I'm also drifting off into a sweet sleep.  Yeah.  Yeah, you're right.  So am I, so maybe we should just rest for now and then we'll find out what else is going on out here in the world of Otter Things.  Goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

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