897 – Projector Protector Dance

EPISODE 897 – Projector Protector Dance

 

[START OF RECORDING]

SCOOTER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, it’s time for the podcaster who…I have that great classic tale about…coming at you like a lulled horse, patrons, in my mind.  I don’t know if I put the Katy in the Perry or the Perry in the Katy, but I know I put the Perrier in my belly.  Actually, I don’t because that’s…unless it’s on sale.  But you know what time it is, patrons.  You’re the one that enables me to buy sparkling…without you, I couldn’t buy sparkling water, Safeway Select Sparkling Water, when it’s on sale, because that’s a reasonable choice.  I could splurge.  I don’t know if I could…I mean, one day, I’ll be drinking all the time.  You’ll see me with the Topo because that’s the highest-end sparkling water.  Actually, it’s pretty good.  But yeah, one day, patrons, we’ll be there.  But not when I’m recording ‘cause I don’t want to make mouth noises ‘cause it’s time for the podcast you enable to put you to sleep.  It’s time for Sleep With Me.  Thanks, patrons.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts or feelings, physical sensations, changes in time or temperature.  So, things that might be on your mind or things you’re feeling or experiencing physically or emotionally coming up for you, or places you are.  You might not be sleeping at home and…or someone else might be gone or you might be anticipating something, or it could just be a mystery.  You could say, I don’t know why.  I’m just having trouble getting to sleep.  Yeah, not sure why.  Trouble staying asleep?  Yeah, not sure why.

 

Waking up early and needing someone to put you back to sleep?  Got you there, too.  I could be used in all those ways and many more.  I’m not sure exactly what’s keeping you awake but the key thing is, a lot of times I can relate to how you feel.  Even physically; I don’t know if you could…just felt that, but I had…I tried really…I do really try to put myself in your position, even those of you that are already like, this is not the podcast for me and I’m going to one-star you right now.  Usually, that manifests in the same place, like behind my upper rib cage and the center of my chest.  That’s one place that I say…not when I can’t sleep.  It’s not what keeps me awake but it’s like, when I can’t fall…after I start to think about I can’t fall asleep.  You know what I’m saying.  There’s a little activity there behind the old ribcage.  It’s like, some sort of emotional resonance.  I don’t know if that’s actually a word, but where some of my feelings and organs are getting together and they’re saying Scoots, we’re not happy about this either, this situation.

 

We’re a bit miffed, to say it mildly.  Whatever’s keeping you awake, here’s my proposition; of course, I want to say here’s the situation, parents…I say that one out of three intros, parents went away on a week’s vacation.  But here’s my proposition; I’m gonna try to create this safe place here and you can hang those at the door or you could bring in whatever’s keeping you awake.  I’ll try to take your mind off of it and whatever’s keeping you awake off of itself, or off of you.  Saying, I gotta get that human’s attention.  Gotta shake the old ribcage.  That’s what my…say wait, what’s your job?  Well, I’m the ultimate protector of you.  Well actually, I just protect a few…well, a projection.  Whoops, holy Freud, you got me.  I’ll tell you what, ultimate Projector Protector, could I get back to you in a second because I was gonna tell listeners, especially new ones…so, what I’m gonna do is create a safe place.  I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents.

 

That means I’ll go off-topic which you’ve kind of already seen already.  Word repetition; that’s definitely a technique I’ve mastered.  Or maybe that was a natural technique I’ve exploited.  My natural tendency to reuse words and ‘uhs’ and ‘ahs’ and those kind of things.  But if you’re new, a few things to know; I’m glad…I really am glad you’re here because I’d like to help if I can.  Now, this podcast does not work for everybody and definitely not everybody likes it.  But see how it goes.  I don’t say this in a way…I don’t gain anything by this, but that most listeners almost…I guess sometimes I want to say 99%, but maybe it’s like 80…it’s definitely over 80% that said, I had to listen to it two or three times before I realized that there was nothing to figure out.  This podcast didn’t make any…it makes so little sense it makes perfect sense because I’m in the business of nonsense.  But so, give it a few tries and just see how it goes.  But it does not work for everybody.  I really wish it did.

 

I really wish I could help everyone in the world fall asleep, holy mackerel.  I mean, ‘cause when I was a kid, the soda companies were the ones…you wouldn’t believe this, most of you that are listening, but that’s…you say Scoots, where do you learn all of your great things about life and…I say well, commercials that I watched as a kid, cartoons I watched as a kid, and sitcoms I watched as a kid.  Once upon a time, there was a soda company and they said…they put forth a proposition via song that if you could just buy everyone in the world a soda, that would be it.  It would be bliss city, worldwide bliss.  I think that’s always stuck with me.  I said, one day…I don’t know, maybe there’s…I mean, there’s probably a few people here in the US that could easily buy the world a soda or two.  But that was a song.  It was really…and they showed the whole globe in unity, in joy.  It was a dream.  Maybe it was somebody’s…some part of my brain said you know it was a commercial, right?

 

I said well, you know, they also…the soda companies also are very…polar bears love them too, so I’m not sure you’re exactly right.  But I carry that dream with me that one day…I don’t know what they called it.  Talk about soft drink power, or soft power.  It was soft drink power.  The soft drink revolution.  It wasn’t even…people were just so…they said wow, this is great.  I think it all started as it always does, with a child singing about…it was a love song to soda.  I think the child loved soda and the world so much.  Here’s the thing; I love soda.  I try not to drink it…only one in over a one-day period a week, like a cheat day or whatever.  But I fail at that, too.  That’s why I’m sure I have [inaudible].  But as a youth, that stayed with me.  I guess that was my point, and now I wish I could just lull the world a lull, and you’d be drifting off in sleepy harmony or whatever.  But this podcast doesn’t work for everybody.  That was my meandering way of saying that.

 

I wish it did, just like I wish I could buy…if you don’t drink soda, I’d buy you something else but I wish I could buy you one, or something that’s actually…something that you could use, too.  But where was I?  If you’re new, the podcast doesn’t work for everybody.  This is a podcast you don’t need to listen to.  Now, there’s a lot of people that do listen and there’s people that kind of listen, there’s people that barely listen, and there’s a few people that are finding new ways of just barely listening at all.  You could kind of see how it goes but if you’re new, if you’re listening very closely and trying to follow along and figure stuff out, I mean clearly, I think I’ve already made my case that I don’t really need to be fully listened to because…you can’t give everything I’m saying full credence.  You could kind of barely listen, almost like the soft focus of that sweet, sweet dream that I had about the world being unified under the soda powers, soda accords.  That’s one thing.

 

This is also a podcast…it doesn’t really put you to [00:10:00] sleep.  I’m more here to keep you company as you drift off.  I’m your bore-friend, your bore-bud, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bestie, your bore-bruh.  I mean one day, whatever people are saying now, in three years from now, I’ll be saying that.  I’m here to keep you company, take your mind off of stuff, as you drift off, and walk at your side as you float away into dreamland.  That’s why the shows are about an hour, to give you plenty of time to fall asleep.  There’s no pressure to fall asleep, no pressure to listen and as a matter of fact, if you can’t sleep, I’m gonna be here ‘til the very end ‘cause I do make this show with a couple kinds of listeners in mind.  One thing I actually believe that by the show…the episodes being an hour and fully complete, that it somehow helps parts of those…part of your brain that’s kind of active, is kind of listen…I mean, don’t let me puff up my ego too much, but those parts of your brain that are usually bugging you, for some reason…you might not like me that much, but those parts of your brain that are…when you say what was that…what’s the purpose of that one tiny aspect of my personality?

 

Oh, who were we walking about?  The Protector Projector.  You say, what is your job, exactly?  Well, I project the past onto the future in order to protect you.  Or I project the future onto the present with an immediacy, or I’ll project our values onto somebody else and then do a comparison.  It’s not exactly…it feels like an exact…those are my jobs, to keep you safe.  You say, I don’t know how any of that…well, just trying to protect you.  Just doing my job.  When were you invented, Projector Protector?  Well, I just came about one day, sprang into existence.  Would you like to be in this episode coming up?  Maybe we could do a…could we do a episode with you?  Would you be comfortable with that?  Well, I don’t know.  You’re the one that’s gotta do the work.  Yeah, I don’t know.  Well, we’ll see.  Maybe we could talk about that tonight.  But usually, those parts of our brains, or your…that they say huh, this Scoots, he makes a lot of mistakes.

 

I better keep my eye on him, let my human rest.  Holy fallible.  They love most…I call them brainbots.  They’ve never seen anyone…I get their mail; believe it or not, they say, I’ve never seen anyone as fallible as you.  You don’t even know how to use that word.  I say well, that’s my job.  Just doing my job.  I’m a performer.  Then they laugh knowingly.  I say well, I’m just doing the service I can…they say hey, you’re making the most of what you got.  I say, yeah.  What was my point, though?  Oh, so the reason the episodes are about an hour is in case you can’t sleep.  I’m gonna be here to keep you company whether you’re awake or asleep.  If you can’t sleep, I’m here.  If you listen all night…these episodes are not perfect for all-night listening.  A lot of stuff on Patreon’s a little bit better.  I mean, that’s a plug but it’s just the reality of making the podcast.  It has to have some support.  But there are people that listen all night and that’s because maybe they’re waking up, so, I’m here when you wake up.  I’m just here for you in this way that I can be here for you which is a strange way.

 

I’m a strange person and I’m here in a strange but well-intentioned way, to keep you company and take your mind off stuff as you fall asleep.  Structurally, if you’re new…way too late to explain this to you, but I will.  Show starts off with about five minutes of business, five to six minutes of business or so.  Ideally, maybe…I’m always trying to trim it as short as I can, but that’s how we keep the podcast free for everybody.  Then there’s an intro.  Now, the intro…sometimes people get the intro and the business mixed up because the intro is mixed up.  I just talk for about twelve to twenty minutes about the podcast and how I’m here to help you fall asleep and keep you company.  But the real purpose of the intro is to give you time to wind-down.  Whether you’re getting ready for bed or you’re in bed and you’re getting comfortable and kind of sinking in, the intro’s where the day kind of fades away.  It’s also where you can learn insights, for all of you that are younger, you say jeez, I didn’t really know about the time the soda companies…did they actually save the world, Scoots, or did they just try?

 

I say wow, great question.  Hopefully the world works out better in your hands than…I don’t know, maybe…hopefully whatever you saw…yeah.  No, I used to watch a lot of commercials.  You get to skip a lot more than I do.  But I’m not sure.  But I’m here to help you fall asleep.  The intro is just a long-winded way of me trying to check in and tell new people about the podcast.  But for regular listeners, what up regular listeners and all of my pets that also listen to the podcast?  I mean, you’re not my pets; you’re our pets.  My fishes, what’s up with the fishes in the room?  Because you don’t get enough…talk about Credence Clearwater Revival.  I don’t know what that means, fishes, but…I know you can’t be petted but you could be treated with…you could get attention.  Also, all the other pets.  Sorry I can’t call all of you out.  Not all of you are as sleepy as the big two, cats and dogs, who are great and deserve to be petted right now.  But all you other pets are darn…holy cow, are you…is this the cutest group of pets I’ve ever seen in the world?  Also, I pander to pets, or acknowledge their greatness.  What was I talking about?

 

The intro.  Oh, that’s another part of the intro.  The intro…helps you get ready, get comfortable, and start to drift off.  Then we’ll do a story.  Originally, I thought this intro was gonna be about something else but apparently, it’ll probably be looking at our friend Projector Protector just ‘cause I like saying that.  Yeah, I think that’s it.  Oh, then there’s some thank yous at the end.  There’s also business between the intro and the show…the bedtime story.  That’s kind of just how…it’s easier if when your hand hits the fridge tomorrow, you just say oh, how do I support the show?  But that’s where the ads are and I think that’s it.  I mean, I hope I can help you fall asleep.  Give it a few tries.  Try not to take this…if you’re skeptical, totally makes sense; almost every listener came here skeptical and doubtful.  Of course, you would be.  But I’m really glad you’re here and I really hope I can help you fall asleep.  I work very hard on the show.  I yearn and I strive.  Let’s see how it goes, alright?  Here’s a couple ways we’re able to keep this podcast free for everybody.

 

Alright, hey everybody, it’s Scoots here and I’m here live, I guess, with…or I guess I’m here live.  This is an unexpected place.  I didn’t expect to be in this, as someone I met during the intro which I presume, since I met you during the intro of a podcast I was making and I’m alone when I’m recording, that you’re a part of…you’re some sort of manifestation within me.  But I wanted to introduce everybody to Protector Projector which…so, Projector Protector or Protector Projector lives somewhere within me.  Just as a refresher, for anybody that’s new or that’s listening along and says Scoots, how about a refresher before you intro…plus, I don’t know…it’s not easy for everybody to be on the mic.  A little behind-the-scenes, too; when you record a podcast, you listen to…you have headphones on normally, and the…you’re hearing you’re voice as you’re recording.  That way you know you’re close to the mic and it’s just so you can…they call it monitoring your own audio.

 

Of course, just the idea of being on the mic…so, I’m just trying to give Projector Protector a little time to warm up too, and get comfortable.  But so, there was this concept on Sleep With Me podcast called brainbots and it’s been around for a while, at least four or five…let’s see, what year is it?  2020.  We started the podcast in 2013, so at least five years I think we’ve had brainbots.  Before BB-88 or that other cone droid, the droid with the cone-shaped head that’s also [00:20:00] super-cute, I don’t know if I did this on a episode of the podcast or in person, but I said, what’s up with R2?  Not to change the subject, but did R2 do something to fall out of favor with the world?  No offence; or, none…BB-8 or BB-88, you’re both so cute and you, cone droid, I don’t know what your official numerical title is but you’re great, too.  I’m not trying to take away from anything.  I realize that R2 was kind of dormant or maybe you say well, R2 is very tied to Luke Skywalker.

 

I only saw the last movie once, so I guess I’d have to see it again to say oh, well, R2 did get some time in that movie but I just don’t get it, especially…I realize that there’s a lot of people…they say well, what about this or that?  But how come C-3PO got so much airtime and not R2?  I always thought they were a team, in my opinion.  I realize there was a lot bigger stuff than that, but I don’t know.  I just keep coming back to it.  Not as big as a deal as when they left the floating pram.  They put that in the garbage, a dumpster, on the Mandalorian.  That one has kept me…has been with me for a…I say, do you…you’re telling me there is a pram or a carriage that would hover and you threw it away.  I mean, even…there’s other things I’ve thought about, this floating pram thing.  Oh, for those of you that don’t listen regularly or don’t listen to the Mandalorian episodes, there’s a TV show called The Mandalorian and it takes place in the Star Wars universe.  I think at some point in the Star Wars timeline, that…I don’t know.  I don’t want to get too focused on that.

 

It’s a brilliant show, very well done.  But there was one plot point, so there was a small, baby-like character on it, baby Oso, O-S-O, for oh-so cute, and also because the baby…all of the wonderful qualities of Oh-So Raven.  Baby Oso also embodied those qualities.  Maybe That’s So Raven, but I’ve only watched…I’ve watched that in a hotel room a couple times.  But so, this baby Oso, during the film or during the program, had a pram or a carriage.  Is that what they call them, baby carriage?  Baby pram?  Stroller, that’s what they call them here in the US.  You’re familiar with strollers or prams, or wherever you are in the world.  It may have another title, but a conveyance for a baby that’s lying down.  Maybe some of them have two wheels, some of them have four wheels, some of them have wheels that are big.  All those things.  This one, here’s a couple features of the floating pram that was featured on The Mandalorian; one, it floated.  It didn’t have wheels, didn’t need wheels.

 

It hovered but also could go forward and backwards, also at very high speeds.  It had a remote control that could be communicated…could change direction, could follow you, or probably go in front of you or next to you.  It could definitely go next to you.  I didn’t even think about the technology for self-driving, so it was a self-driving…always under observation except the time the Mandalorian was on the big Jawa ship thing, portable fortress or whatever they call it.  I don’t know how this turned into a Star Wars episode, but…I mean, May the 5th is coming up.  But don’t worry Projector Protector, we’ll get back to you.  That sounds pretty sweet.  Not only that, it had a cover that was actually…the cover would come down.  Not only would it…if the baby needed it to be dark, no matter the time of day, it could do that.  If the baby needed it for rain…a very all-weather cover.  Automatic, too, I think it was.  Also, it was made out of some sort of alloy or metal which most of us associate…I mean, not many people are rolling around in a platinum pram because you have to push it where this, you didn’t have to push it.  It just floated.

 

At some point, the former…members of the former Empire got ahold of this pram and what did they do with it?  They threw it away in a dumpster.  It’s just something I’ve never been able to let go of.  In the story it’s not that important, but I just…I made my own story about it, that a storm-person…former trooper of storms or whatever said oh boy, boss, don’t worry.  I’m gonna throw that right away.  That’s the best place for it, totally.  Then they, after work, they were gonna go get it ‘cause that would be common sense.  I don’t know.  What was the name of that planet, too?  I forgot it.  I’ll probably…oh, Nevarro.  I think that’s the planet.  If you’re ever on Nevarro, go through the dumpsters.  I don’t know if that was before the First Order but you’d say, who’s in charge of resources?  No wonder you’re not the Empire anymore.  Talk about imperialists; you’re just wasting stuff.  That makes me return to my point of another thing that got in my goat, or my goat got my gruff, or whatever we say here on the podcast, was that I don’t know why R2 didn’t get more screen time.

 

I guess it kind of makes sense.  I hope R2’s not listening, but when you got BB-8 cruising around…I guess, yeah, there’s just a change in relevance ‘cause you say well, BB-8…I always want to say BB-88.  But I mean, BB-8 had a lot of personality.  You say well, I just can’t write for…sorry, I can’t write for three…can’t write…we don’t have enough droid writers.  That’s what it was.  During the rewrites we just could only focus so much on storylines and non-humanoid droids.  I said okay, I can relate to that; I have trouble with managing more than two main characters.  All that being said, once upon a time, or every once in a while, I talk about brainbots which are parts of our personality, in my opinion, that are usually…a lot of times during the day, they’re latent or they’re sleeping but then when you get into bed, they start cruising around, just like R2 or BB-8 or the cone droid.  They start trying to get your attention.  Here’s the other thing that…I don’t mean to keep talking about Star Wars and droids, but I say to myself…’cause for me, brainbots usually just are filling one function.

 

Normally, it’s some sort of ongoing A-L-A-R-M or alert, or they had the ability to project in the shows, like project something.  They’d say, just watch this movie about fourth grade again.  It’s just five seconds but it really wants you to think about this before you get some sleep, ‘cause I can’t…that’s my job, is to remind you of this.  You say, why?  Well, so we don’t repeat it again, or so we can just try to think about how we could get back there and do it differently, or how good our lives would have been.  You say okay, thank you for showing me that projection.  Yeah.  Those are brainbots.  I guess the next tangent I was gonna go on about droids though, was…here’s a couple things they don’t talk about ‘cause this is Hollywood; how much does a droid cost?  Obviously, people get a long life out of them and there’s a strong used and refurbished market for them thanks to the Jawas and other scavengers or like on the show…on The Mandalorian.  You say okay, well I…yeah, I did my own…what do you call that when you redo an engine?  Rebuilt my own droid.

 

But I was just thinking, ‘cause usually…I thought R2 and BB-8 were navigational…they were like copilot droids, right?  Maybe they do autopilot, star systems, all of the complex math for a starship and lightspeed, and all that kind of stuff.  Then maybe they have the personality [00:30:00] to keep you…’cause…I mean, I don’t know.  Then maybe that’s just over the years they said well, it’s gonna go a lot better if they have a personality.  We’ve studied human or mammal or near-human…over all the galaxies.  Maybe domesticated animals are a thing.  I don’t know.  I’m not saying the droids are, but I’m just wondering.  I know they sometimes can carry tools or do other stuff, or interface with computers.  C-3PO is a protocol droid.  That’s different.  You say okay, I get it.  Actually, C-3PO’s not really good at much else.  No offence, but…other than being…worrying about stuff and predicting odds.  You say well, I got this processing power, so I figured out other ways to use it.

 

All that said, I guess my point was that I just think about…oh, so brainbots.  I think about that at bedtime.  Brainbots; so, Projector Protector is…we just met.  Seems like that’s kind of a title I made up for you, correct?  Correct.  Thank you Scooter, though.  Thank you, that is correct.  But I’m glad to be here on your show.  I’m really excited to talk to everybody.  Yeah, I’m a little bit…this is my first time on a podcast or anywhere other than your mind.  Well, that’s good to have…it’s good to have you on, Projector Protector.  Just because you came up…I said well, let’s do a show together.  What do you say we do a storytelling show where I give you a title of…one of the ways I do Sleep With Me…and I’ve already done two episodes during this, but this’ll be kind of a chance for us to do two things at once.  Does that sound good to you?  Sounds good Scooter, ‘cause that’s kind of my job as Projector Protector.  I project and protect.  I also project to protect.  Yeah, we do have to kind of hold things gently and with dignity and respect here on Sleep With Me ‘cause you can’t be as…when I’m trying to sleep…when you’re dealing with just me, it’s one thing, but we have to think about all the other listeners.

 

I hope you could diffuse all of your statements, if all possible.  That sounds great, Scooter.  What were you saying?  Wow, you’re in…you’re a natural.  It’s like you’ve been in my mind the whole time, observing me making this show.  Well, one thing that I…one method I use…so, this style of episode we’re doing tonight is traditionally called a Trending Tuesday style episode.  Oh, why’s that, Scooter?  Well, because once upon a time…so, I started this podcast in 2013 and at first, I was just trying to figure out how to make it, and could I make it, and would I keep making it?  Then after a while of making it…I don’t know if it was around Episode 100…I’m just guessing ‘cause I’ve been looking through the archives, but that I started realizing I’d have to come up with more creative ways to come up with episodes because they’re constantly having to get made and put out.  That makes sense, Scooter.

 

Yeah, so one time, I mean, this is back in 2013 and 2014, and the world really was a different place back then, and even 2015.  I called it Trending Twitter Tuesdays ‘cause I would go on Twitter or I would use a Twitter app, I would look at the top trends that were trending right then and usually, I would take a screenshot of it.  Then I would use those as prompts to randomize the story.  If there was somewhere between seven or eight…not so much story beats but story directional changes so that the story didn’t kind of peter out.  Scooter, is this gonna be an interview of me?  Not exactly.  That’s not a…’cause we started a interview and it didn’t…we’re transitioning to a new form of interaction now.  I was thinking…so, that’s why it was called Trending Twitter Tuesdays, and that became a staple of Sleep With Me.  Once upon a time, we used to put out three episodes a week which was never sustainable in a workload wise, but I wanted to see if it one day could be sustainable because I liked that idea.

 

I said oh, ‘could we ever get to the point where that would make sense to put out three episodes a week?  But as I was…at some point, I just was like okay, this is too much.  There’s just not a way to sustain that much…the infrastructure to sustain that much…you know what I’m saying?  Yeah, Scooter.  There’s just not enough…it’s a lot of content to put out three episodes a week and all the work that goes into supporting the…to put out the content.  There’s just not…it wasn’t viable.  Exactly, because at the time, we would put out episodes Sunday, Tuesday, Thursday.  So, each one of those…Sunday had a certain style episode; TV recaps.  Tuesday was Trending Twitter Tuesday style episodes; not always Trending Twitter, and then Thursday would be the written episodes.  Then we tried ‘Rending ‘Ritter ‘Redditation which was kind of similar.  That worked pretty good for a while.  Since then, I’ve tried to do non-trending topics because it’s just not sleepy, I guess.  Totally makes sense, Scooter.

 

I’m with you.  As a Projector Protector, I hear exactly what you’re saying.  I’m constantly looking for stuff.  I use Phish setlists, Nintendo games, I’ve used.  This one, this is the third time I’m using this.  Vulture came out with a list of the 100 Greatest Emo Songs.  I thought we’d use a couple of those as story prompts for you to kind of tell me…I don’t know, just see where they go for you.  That’s always interesting.  Try to keep the story in mind and the listeners in mind.  No pressure because I can always edit it, so there’s no real pressure on you at all, Projector Protector, other than to just see where things lead you.  Does that sound good?  Scooter, it does sound very good.  I’m ready for my prompt.  Okay, so your first prompt is existentialism on prom night.  Oh, Scooter, so that reminds me; when I was just…so, you may have heard just my slip of the tongue earlier, or a slip of the film, as we say in the Projector Protector business, that not only do I go by the name Projector Protector, but that is kind of one of…who I am as well.

 

You may say oh, is this…I don’t want to get too into the background or the history of Projector Protectors, but we’re a part of…not exactly as you describe us as a uni-function or mal…the old…that word.  Adapted with mal in the front of it, Scooter, that you refer to us sometimes as, which is not…it’s just a way of generalizing.  I understand it; generalizing us.  But Projector Protector, I guess the simplest way to tell you, is a way of life, a way of life for me and other Projector Protectors out there.  Our function and our purpose is kind of somewhat straightforward, but we also have to live by a code.  That code is not always clear and not always easy to understand, and all those things.  We learn, we crop into being when we’re needed, or as you may say, we’re a…as our humans are adapting.  Humans don’t always have all the tools they need, so they’re making tools, just like in human history, we see.  Not that different than other tools.  Like, the Projector Protector is just a tool that a lot of humans spring into existence.

 

As you kind of hinted at, at a younger age normally, but not always; a tool to deal with things as they’re adapting to situations.  But we also kind of have to have…come up with a code, right?  One of those, actually, that they taught us, is that there is…existentialism on prom night is to be avoided at all costs.  Or if you said Projector Protector…’cause you might say…well, you’d say could you write a [00:40:00] book of tips for other Projector Protectors?  I would say yeah, avoid existentialism on prom night at all costs because it is a likely place.  Like, if you’re watching some…over someone like Scooter, like I am, that someone who probably lives in their head a lot.  They do a lot of thinking.  They don’t do a lot of…they don’t find it easy to be present in their own space and body all the time.  Sometimes they have an inability to enjoy themselves and maybe they recreationally find ways to lower their inhibitions and those kind of things.

 

When it comes to something like prom night, which you have to be pretty prepared…now also, if you’re dealing with someone like Scooter, they tend to deflate or they tend to control expectations when they can.  They probably don’t build up things that are titled.  Their high expectations are elsewhere, so when something like prom night comes, they’re more putting it…how do you say this?  They’re saying well…it’s not like they’re faking it.  Some people would say oh, you’re pooh-poohing that or you’re not into that because you’re…I say well, no, it’s a little bit more complex than that.  I have a Projector Protector and also many other tools that I use, some of which I designed and developed when I was only four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, twelve years old.  I guess my point in all this is that…oh, so the reason we would have a code of no existentialism on prom night is…for me, the Projector Protector, most of my work should be done…if you’re taking a place of responsibility, I would be even telling Scooter, no existentialism on prom night.

 

I’m gonna get you…we’re gonna try to figure out everything ahead of time.  People might say it’s unrealistic that this could happen, in a good way or a non-great way.  But over the next forty-two nights, we’re gonna run through all of them multiple times from multiple angles.  We’ll recreate them and we’ll see what…we’ll run through how we’re gonna handle everything unexpected.  That would be my role, really, as one of my roles.  We’d say young Scooter, prom night is…what do they call it?  They had two…but let’s say you’re seventeen, sixteen years old or so.  You say don’t worry, we’re gonna run through all these things that might have differing degrees of everything.  Really, what I really want you to do Scooter, is get all that out of the way so that you would be secure.  Then maybe you could have fun or something during that, instead of having an intensity level of twelve out of ten.  But also, we want you to enjoy yourself to the degree that you’d be restful.

 

So, either prom night could be the night before or the night of.  Now, I know a lot of those things, they tend to go on after the dance.  To be honest, Scooter, I’m running through your database and I can’t exactly see what…I know you had a fun time on the Sunday after.  Usually you have a daytime…looks like, from what I can see, outdoor at a park.  I think there was probably something with…that you did at one of your friend’s houses after the prom, with someone you were friends with which is always a good idea, especially for Scooter because you say well, you gotta keep your…you can’t over-stretch.  Those are all things that make sense, but what we would want is not for you to be lying in bed.  Well, maybe we would have wanted this for Scooter.  If you’d been swept away somehow in whatever, romantic throes or dreaminess and thinking about the meaning and the purpose…but yeah, that just doesn’t sound like very conducive to prom night, as you…thinking about all those things.

 

Does this mean everything?  Does this mean nothing?  Where do I…what am I thinking about all this?  We’d say okay, if you’re looking at being a Projector Protector, prepare for prom night.  Sixty, ninety, 120 days, you don’t even need…even before you’d even think about having a date.  You might have to even start preparing earlier for you to think about preparing for having a date or going as friends, or going without a date.  All those things are fine and we would help…or that should you just ignore these pressures to say…but I would say in context, is if you could step out of other peoples’ expectations and still go and have fun…’cause sometimes, Scooter, you did border on saying…removing yourself from having fun not by saying you’re above it, but by saying well, you’re a little…you’re not being standoffish on purpose.  But I guess I would want for you to be able to release yourself, to be a child and have fun, because there were times you did go to dances and dance.

 

We’ve talked about this before.  I’m sorry, Projector Protector, it’s kind of feeling a little bit of a therapeutic…oh, I’m glad…Scooter, I’m glad we’re talking about this prom stuff as therapeutic for you.  Well no, I was gonna say…oh yes, yeah, sure, I could talk about more about your dances before we get to the next story prompt, of course.  I like to think about those.  There’s two dances, Scooter, where you really did…well, one, you kind of let loose and it was a little confusing.  That was when you were in middle school, I believe.  We talked about it on the show where you went as what you saw as someone from London punk, the 1980s.  You went to the school dance like that and people could barely tell who you…who or what you were.  You had all sorts of accoutrement and you had a lot of fun, but then also, your…you had ripped jeans and then someone ripped your jeans up to your…I don’t know how to say it other than tighty whities that you wore at the time.

 

Yeah, that was confusing for me because I couldn’t tell…it wasn’t…I don’t think it was people trying to be mean but it was kind of…it was just kids.  I can see how people say well, that was…because it was someone that I was kind of friends with and the act wasn’t super-nice, but it also wasn’t mean-spirited.  It was from a place of vulnerability and maybe just overexcitement.  Yeah, someone else helped you make…use one of your many headbands or armbands to tie it around your leg so you couldn’t really see your tighty whities after that.  Yeah, I don’t know if I…how much I danced at that one, though.  Well yeah, but you were there.  You embodied the costume spirit of that Halloween dance or whatever it was.  Yeah, I know you’re not gonna bring this up because I can read your mind, but there was also the first dance I went to, other than…that I had to take tap-dance.

 

We had my dance recitals, and then that actually gave me a sense of rhythm, so then it that…when my grammar school, the middle school that my…my elementary school was K through 8 but then the year I was in sixth grade, they decided to close down seventh and eighth grade, so we were gonna have to go to a middle school.  I don’t know if that was related to the fact that…wasn’t it six, seven, and eighth grade all…we all had to dance, or was it only sixth and seventh grade?  Or was it only a sixth-grade dance and seventh graders were there?  Do you remember?  Scooter, I don’t know.  I think it was either seventh and sixth grade or there was a lot of seventh graders at the sixth-grade dance.  Right, and that was another one where a lot of…that was my first prepubescent place of like oh, where do I fit in in this prepubescent world?  [00:50:00] I didn’t have a comfortable place there where I fit in because I kind of…where I was in the social hierarchy and self-confidence, and all those things.

 

But Scooter, you still found a place to fit in, though.  Well, I did, and I remember that we all…everybody was getting dates and then I said oh, I don’t know, and everybody was pairing off.  But then yeah, my friend Chris…I remember that there was four of us that came up with a plan.  I think it was…Dana was my date and Chris’s date was someone I was friends with whose name escapes me.  The four of us kind of planned it out together, maybe.  Something like that.  Okay, Scooter, I remember that.  You were friends with all those kids.  I do remember that.  I just wish I remembered who the…Molly, maybe?  I don’t know.  But so, that was the dance that they had the dance contest.  I guess this is a humble brag, but it’s also like a…it was a school of kids that just couldn’t dance and had no rhythm.  But they had that dance-off and I remember I was dancing with my date.  It was fast music and they kept playing songs and then taking people off the dance floor.

 

I guess it was just for one winner, and I was really only good at shuffle ball…I don’t even think I could do shuffle, ball, toe, but I think I was doing some sort of non-tap-dance version of shuffle, ball, step or something.  Scooter, I think you were.  I think the winning thing was that you were actually in-sync to the rhythm of the songs.  Yeah, probably.  Then I won, and I won a record.  I think it was a Bruce Springsteen record and maybe an MJ record.  But I think it was a Bruce Springsteen record, and we had our Fisher Price record player, so that got a lot of play at home.  Scooter, didn’t you perform one of your dance recitals to a Bruce Springsteen song in tap-dance?  That’s a good question.  I have to look back.  I mean, I think we did.  I don’t know because I’m not sure if I did two or three or four or two.  I know we did at least two dance recitals when I was in boy’s tap.  We did a episode about that.  I don’t think we have to get too deep into that one, the history of my tap-dancing lessons.

 

But I don’t know, because some of the songs, I was actually…my sister did a lot of dance, so I remember watching her.  I’m not exactly sure.  Was that Bruce Springsteen…?  Was there a Bruce Springsteen song about working on the highway?  Working for a living or something like that?  ‘Cause I know we had yellow shovels and probably white t-shirts rolled up.  I know we danced to a song about working on a highway, and that was part of our tap-dancing, was pretending we were working on a highway with shovels.  Jeez, Scooter, I hope no one that worked on a highway was there.  Well, we were glorifying it, so I think it was…so, I know we did that one.  Then, I don’t know what other ones; maybe an MJ song one year, maybe a Billie Joel song.  Maybe that was a Billie Joel song.  I don’t know.  Okay, Scooter, can we move on to the last dance?  Because I don’t think we’re gonna have…I want to get to this dance before we run out of time here together.  Well, you’re good at projecting.

 

When you’re a neutral projector, could you just project in these sepia tones instead of bright, bold colors or stark all-or-nothing colors?  Well yeah, in the middle of the day, Scooter, I guess I can.  Okay, so let’s get to this other dance.  I think I’ve talked about it on the podcast before.  What kind of questions do you have?  Well Scooter, I was just wondering what you remember from it.  Yeah, what…let’s just walk through some of the details.  Okay, well, here’s what I remember; one, it was non…I’m trying to also…I’m not playing any of this for sympathy so some people might sympathize or relate to what I’m saying, but because we’re projecting this in a…you’re projecting this in a way for me that’s kind of neutral, I do feel okay with all this.  But my school had…it normally had a Sadie Hawkins dance.  I didn’t go to that one, I don’t think maybe ever.  Then it sometimes had…when you’re a senior or junior, you had your proms or whatever.  Then there was probably a couple other dances during the year, I guess ‘cause you’d say well, at least we know where the kids are on a weekend night.

 

But definitely it felt like a lot of dances…maybe there was like, a winter dance, but a lot of them were date-themed which I wasn’t really into, like I said.  I have a historical reluctance and detachment from that.  Scooter, you were almost protecting yourself in a projection way.  Yeah, I guess so.  But so, this particular dance, and this may be an amalgamation of memories, some of it, so you’ll have to indulge me.  Scooter, consider yourself indulged.  So, I would say I was probably a junior.  Maybe it was towards the beginning of the year, so maybe it was the Back to School Dance, but that I was a junior in…or I could have been a sophomore in high school.  Scooter, what gives you that impression?  Well, I think I was probably a junior because I think my brother and maybe my sister were at the dance, and they were two years younger than me.  The other thing is I remember older kids that…being at the dance and ones that I may have had feelings for, so any attention from them was very stimulating.

 

Okay, Scooter, TM…no, I’m just kidding.  I just mean in my…butterflies, that’s what I meant.  Okay, thanks, Scooter.  Also, I have a memory of people coming to the dance, like, seniors coming to the dance, or maybe they were juniors, and they had already been out doing things that we weren’t supposed to be doing, so they were boisterous.  But not in a negative way, but I remember that was…it just seemed a little bit wild to me.  Okay, Scooter, what else?  Well, it’s just like, weird…and we’ve talked, or I’ve talked about…I don’t want to talk about this too much on the podcast, but I always had this sense that I don’t have so much anymore…not only did this whole square-peg-round-hole thing, but I never felt a consistency in my own…not my own identity, but my own comfortableness in who I was, or just being myself.  Some days I would feel comfortable being myself and some days I felt like I came from outer space, and all my tools I created over my childhood were too much for me to…almost like the tools were too much, you know what I’m saying?

 

Scooter, I think I do.  Some days you could handle things and be yourself and be in the world, and other times there was a thousand different things or you just didn’t…you felt much differently than that.  Right, and as we’ve gotten…talked about these answers, being inhibited or closed-off was always a tool, safe tool.  You might say it’s a blunt instrument, but very effective and actually not that…it’s one that almost all kids use, so an acceptable tool to use, especially in a social situation.  Right, Scooter.  We could say now…maybe unnecessary but at the time, reasonable and seems necessary.  Right, so…but when I could break out of that and step out of that into a place of more…I don’t know.  I don’t want to say confidence and comfort, but something like that; let go was very rare and also baffling.  This dance was one of these baffling ones in a good way ‘cause I went to the dance, I was 100% sober and clear of mind, except for maybe…maybe I took extra Pseudoephed by accident.

 

That’s the only thing I could think of.  Okay, Scooter, possible due to Pseudoephedrine but more than likely not.  That would have been accidental.  Yeah, I got to this dance and I just let [01:00:00] loose like I’ve never let loose before.  Normally, that might be a sign that I really liked somebody and that…then I was going to embarrass myself and they’d say well, you’re different, and I’m not into people that are different.  But this one, I didn’t have a crush on anybody.  The only thing I could think of is that yeah, because it was the new year, I was caught up in some sort of start of the school year excitement, the horizon of possibilities.  Scooter, could I point out also that you did have a lot of friends and you seemed to have very good friends and people that liked you and were excited to see you let loose?  Yeah, I just let loose on the dance floor.  It’s as simple as that; I got to this dance and probably from the beginning to the end, I let loose out there on the dance floor.

 

Not in a…well, in an over-the-top way when I could, when the music called for it.  Scooter, I think the most important thing is that you invented your own dance by…just because you were letting loose.  Yeah, I did start doing this dance and people started…that’s why I know it was…my brother and sister were there ‘cause some of my brother’s friends were dancing with me, I think.  Then older kids were dancing with me ‘cause they were asking me, what are you…what did you take before the dance?  Even the teachers were.  I think they always had a breathalyzer there so I said well, I’ll take the breathalyzer.  I know nothing; I’m 100% clean.  But yeah, so I did invent a dance by accident.  I’m not sure what the first song I invented it on, and it…not exactly was the hippest dance.  I don’t think…I mean, I don’t know if it would fit on TikTok nowadays but yeah, people were calling it my dance.  They were naming it after me.  It was a bit like you would take your dancing, in a way…I mean, you’ve seen this version of a dance now.

 

It’s where sometimes people are pretending to be a T-rex, so your arms…but this wasn’t what I was doing at the time.  It’s just what my body was doing.  I wasn’t trying to embody a T-rex.  But if you put your arms together and in front of you, a bit like a…some sort of…what are those called?  Not a groundhog, but a…those ones that come out of the hole and beg for stuff.  Prairie dog.  Then you hold your hands together over your head with a prairie dog thing, and you kind of move like a T-rex.  That was the majority of what the arms were doing.  Then your legs were kind of moving and you’re gyrating your body.  You’re dipping…maybe more like a giraffe.  I wasn’t trying to embody any animals; I was literally just…I was lost in the music, as they say.  I mean, maybe a little self-conscious ‘cause I was letting loose and then people were aware of my letting-looseness, but then some people were getting into that.  ‘Cause it wasn’t like…strangeness was not outside of my personal behavior.

 

It was more like just a more open strangeness in front of everybody, was maybe a little bit out of my behavior, or having fun.  Then of course, the teachers and stuff thought I was up…I had been doing something before the dance.  But I think I just…it was very…I was very hyper.  I would say that.  I had a lot of energy that I released while I was dancing.  I had fun, though it was hard for me to sometimes be…when I had fun and people were having fun with me, to not…and knowing now that they probably weren’t having fun at my expense, to be like…’cause I remember a time I made my own necklace, too.  I put metal tools on it and stuff, and I wore that to school.  Remember that?  Scooter, I do.  It was like, nuts and bolts and stuff on a necklace, and kids were coming up to me being like, do you have nuts and bolts…is that a nut and a bolt and a Cheerio on there or something?  I said yeah, yeah, it is.  I made my own necklace.  But then, just to think that…I don’t know.  They were like, that’s wild, man.

 

But then a part of my brain said, that’s probably not the good kind of wild, but it probably was the good kind.  I guess it was a bit like that but you know, I let loose.  It was fun.  I think there’s maybe some kind of positive existentialism and maybe the wrong word, but an ability to step outside yourself into yourself, you know what I’m saying, Projector Protector?  Scooter, I think that’s a good way to wrap it up, is as we think about moving forward together, the two of us, and working together long-term, can we find ways to step outside of yourself and into yourself?  Because as I’m trying to readapt my tools here, this was good practice for me into a new life where you can get the rest and I can trust that we’re capable of handling things.  We all win.  Yeah, I appreciate your help.  This was unexpected.  I thought this would be more of a surreal episode and less of a personal essay, but thanks for your help tonight, Projector Protector.

 

Thanks for a lifetime of protection and realize, to all you brainbots and other tools or other memories that are…have some smirches or rust on them, that’s okay, and that you are the tools that we came up with to work with things at the time and that yeah, by talking about brainbots, I’m not trying to banish any of you.  Yeah, maybe sometimes I’m passively aggressively saying oh boy, that Projector Protector, or that all-night alert bot, that alerts made generalized alerts that have nothing…I’m just human, too, but I realize that you’re just doing your job.  We’re all doing the best we can.  It’s a good thing we sleep…we all sleep together every night.  I’m looking forward to snuggling up with all my brainbots tonight.  Goodnight.

[END OF RECORDING]

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