894 – Mewing Kittens | Bored Game Unboxing
I’ll pour a party pack sized sleepy saucer of milk to help calm the cute kittens mewing in your mind.
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EPISODE 894_Mewing Kittens – Bored Game Unboxing
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, and my patron peeps; it’s time for the podcaster who’s…this podcast comes signed and sealed and delivered so you’re bored. Hardy-har-har. You make it possible. Actually, you sign and seal and make sure it’s delivered with your support for bores. Thanks so much patrons, and what do you say we get on with the show?
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever is keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time or temperature or routine. So, things on your mind that you’re thinking about, obviously. Or things you’re feeling emotionally or physically, all of those things it could be. Or I guess any or all of those things, whatever is keeping you awake, I’m here to take your mind off of stuff. What I’m gonna do is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, creating a safe place.
I say that…smoothing and patting and rubbing it down, a safe place that you’re invited to but you don’t have to come. That’s an invitation I could get…that I wouldn’t have to get behind. Here’s a place you’re invited…I think I talk about this a lot because it’s just one of the things. I say, oh boy, should I…now what am I gonna…that’s gonna be a rigmarole when that comes up. This is an invitation…you say, you don’t even…how about…here’s a party…I’m having a party. You say, I’d love it if you’d come by. But you could also walk by. You could walk…obviously, we’ll expect it, so we won’t be surprised. You could just walk around the house and look in the door or the window. We won’t have a livestream of the party but we will have a livestream where you could kind of peek in and say well, huh, that’s…it’s a virtual party you don’t even need to come to. Invitation where you’re…you say okay, yeah, I’m not expecting to be there. I’d love to have you there but you don’t necessarily have to totally come by.
You say okay, well, I don’t understand how that would work logistically. I say don’t worry; we’ll figure it out. I want you to be comfortable whether you’re here or not. If you’re new, that’s kind of how this podcast works. You say well, that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. I say well, that’s…you’re correct. Correct, you’re already…you’re new here and you’re already right in…you’ve already got a point. Unlimited points, I’ll give you. But that was a…you earned a point there, or multiple points. I don’t know. We don’t really have a point system here. I just wanted to be gracious and say that you’re correct. I’m not making a whole lot of sense. If you’re new, expect more of that. Actually, a near-constant stream of me not making a whole lot of sense, or almost…you say well, it almost makes sense. You’re telling me you’re working on an imaginary system for a party that I could be in attendance without being in attendance at all? I would say well, a blanket thing.
You say well, I would like to be there. I’d say well, we’ll figure that out. You’d say well, I’d just like to get credit for going. I don’t really want to go. I say okay, we’ll figure that one out, too. It is an imaginary party. But if you’re new, let me tell you a little bit about the podcast first, so to also…before we get into…before I go back off-topic about this invitation and party stuff, one of the more popular things in intros. If you’re new, here’s a couple things to know; one, I’m glad you’re here and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. I really believe you do deserve a good night’s sleep and I hope I can provide that for you. That’s the first thing. The second thing is, this podcast is very different than most shows so if you’re skeptical or doubtful or you’re not sure how to feel, that is a very normal reaction to this podcast. It does not work for everybody. Not everybody likes it but some of those people still listen. It doesn’t work for everybody, either.
It’s not necessarily everybody’s cup of tea and it may not put you to sleep or take your mind off of stuff, but it could. But for the number of listeners we have, most of them said gave it two or three tries, and then I became a regular listener. Then I said okay, this podcast does not make…he was right when he said he doesn’t make any sense. At first, I thought he was joking. When he said barely pay attention, I didn’t really understand how to do that because usually, if you get…just like he said, if you get an invitation to a party, it’s pretty clear; you’re either going or you’re not going. There’s not a lot of grey area within party invitations at this point in history. Hereto forward or whatever we say, I’m hoping to change that where you say well…’cause they say well, you could put ‘maybe’ but then you’re still expected to answer that, or the assumption is that maybe it means ‘probably not’. That would be pretty good. Like, what if there was a party…one of those online invitation things where instead of…it was just a spectrum, like a meter?
You say well…one way is definitely going; the other way is definitely not going. But most people put it somewhere in the meter. You could even add a second meter. You say well, what time do you think you’re gonna show up? Party’s from 12:00 to 8:00. You say oh boy, that’s way too…okay, I can’t make it at all, then. Okay, party’s from 1:00 to 3:00? Okay, oh boy, now you’re talking, 1:00 to 3:00. Does that mean there will be lunch? Yeah. Okay, so, how about 12:30 to 2:30? Okay, we could do that. Then you use a second spectrum to say okay, I’ll probably be there at 1:15 and I’m somewhere…on the ROYGBIV spectrum, I’m in the IV, the Indigo, not the Violet if that’s 100%, I’m coming. I’m pretty close to…I mean, in ROYG…Blue, Indigo. You say okay, maybe I’ll see you at my party, maybe not. You don’t even have to come, though, ‘cause we have all those other solutions. Actually, by the way, I thought you were inviting a new listener to the sleep podcast. Oh, you’re right. Sorry about that, new listener.
This is a podcast that doesn’t make a lot of sense, so see if you could consume it loosely. You don’t really need to listen, though of course, you might want to. But if you do decide to listen, I’ll be here. I’m here to keep you company as much as I am to put you to sleep. That’s the other flip side; this is, I say a podcast that puts you to sleep. Really, it’s a podcast that’s here while you fall asleep. There’s no pressure for you to fall asleep. I’m gonna be here for at least an hour or right around an hour so you’ll have plenty of time to drift off. You could listen to multiple episodes and…yeah, ‘cause I’ll be here ‘til the very end to keep you company. If you can’t sleep, the episodes are complete. They’re completely nonsense but they’re not total nonsense. I’m committed to be here for you, I think. It’s a podcast you don’t need to listen to, no pressure to fall asleep, either. Another thing that can throw new people off is the structure of the show. Just in case that’s throwing you off, I just want to set this up, but though some people…it throws a lot of people so off that they’re like oh, this definitely isn’t the podcast for me, which may be for the best.
It’s kind of hard to be in a position of making a podcast where most people have to try it multiple times to know if they’re gonna start not listening to it. Then the people that definitely are not listening to it, they tend to e-mail me strong-worded messages or e-mails letting me know in all caps why they don’t listen. It’s a strange thing, but it’s an important mission for me because the reason I make this show is because I’ve been there and I know how it feels not to be able to fall asleep. I wish it could work for everybody and that’s why it is important. I say jeez, you do deserve a good night’s sleep ‘cause I know how it feels. I know how it feels on most of the things, too; tossing and turning? Got that. Mind racing? Oh, boy. Waking up early? You know, all those things, I’ve been through them all. But I was gonna talk about the structure of the show, so, the show starts off with business and that’s how we keep it…able to keep the podcast free for everybody, no paywall or anything, or not part of a larger thing [00:10:00] like an app or whatever that you gotta pay for.
That’s about somewhere…usually there’s the teaser which is like, one minute. The ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, then there’s business. I don’t know, I tend to ramble during the business but I try to keep it to two or three separate things so the max will be like four, five minutes. But sometimes I’m not perfect. Probably all the time. Yeah, all the time I’m not perfect. But that’s the business, then there’s an intro which is separate from the business, though the people that strongly dislike it kind of tend to lump it all together. But the intro is somewhere around twelve to eighteen minutes of me rambling about how the podcast works, introducing the podcast for new listeners, kind of setting it up. Then for regular listeners, they say oh, this is what Scoots does every episode; he kind of tries to explain the podcast in a different way. Over 850 times he’s tried to explain what the podcast is, unsuccessfully ‘cause I guess if it was successful…it’s successful in its unsuccessfulness. That’s the truth.
For the new listeners it’s new, but then for the regular listeners, it’s familiar but new. But the thing is, for the regular listeners, there’s about 2% of regular listeners that skip ahead to twenty minutes. They kind of maybe catch the second round of business or the start of the…whatever we’re gonna be talking about. Tonight, it’ll be kind of a random one-off episode. Then, oh, so, and then there’s people that listen on Patreon and might listen all night, or they listen to story-only episodes or whatever. But most people listen to the intro and it’s part of their wind-down routine. It’s one of the pillars – I don’t want to brag and say it’s a keystone – but I hope for a lot of listeners, it’s a building block of your bedtime routine where you say okay, well, I start playing Scoots, then I got some lavender lotion or whatever or a spritz, or I brush my hair or I brush my pets, or I stretch or I sit quietly. I look out the window. Whatever it is, part of your wind-down routine.
Or there’s people that start it when they’re in bed and they’re doing it as part of their later wind-down routine where they’re like okay, I’m getting comfortable, getting my pillows where I like them and my blankets, and those kind of things. As you become a regular listener or if you are, test out; oh, jeez, this works pretty good for me. That’s the intro, then there’s some business, then there’s the episode which’ll be a bedtime story, about forty-five minutes or so. Then there’s some thank yous at the end of the show, so, that’s the structure of the show. I don’t know, I guess, yeah, that’s what you need to know. We got the structure of the show, you don’t need to listen, no pressure to fall asleep. Yeah, it really is an invitation to a wind-down or like I say, well, you’re kind of inviting me…you’re letting me in but at a distance where you say okay, Scoots, you could kind of barely entertain us while we get comfortable and drift off. I think that’s it. I really appreciate you checking the podcast out.
It really means a lot to me to be able to try to help you fall asleep, and hopefully I succeed. Believe it or not, for some people…I work really hard on this show. A lot of work goes into it, not just my hard work but a lot of work on all levels because all of us really yearn to help you, really yearn to help you fall asleep. So, thank you again for coming by and here’s a couple of ways we’re able to keep this podcast here for you whenever you need it.
Alright everybody, it’s Scoots and I’m doing a boardgame unboxing of a board game I’ve bought, actually, many times as a gift and I haven’t had the opportunity to ever play it myself. Here’s a hint; if you get a gift from someone as a board game, please invite them over to play it. Hello? Hello. Hello, am I’m coming through? I mean, you don’t really have to. I mean, ‘cause I don’t really…I’m not good at sending thank you notes or anything like that. I’ve sent some thank you texts recently in lieu of a thank you note, nana, which I know is not the preferred way. This is a game; it was a famous Kickstarter…I’m not sure if I supported it as a Kickstarter. I’m pretty sure I first heard about this game either via John August…I’m pretty sure that…yeah, on the Scriptnotes podcast or on Twitter, though it could have been from the famous comic that…web comic that someone’s involved in that made this game. I’m gonna start off with the box.
The game is called Mewing Kittens and it’s a famous game about kittens mewing which couldn’t…what could be more soothing than the sound of kittens mewing? This one is the Party Pack and on the front cover it says Mewing Kittens. It’s in kitten fur, the Mewing is. I mean, in a drawing of Mewing, or fur. It’s the Party Pack; play up to ten players and new cards. Play with up to ten players and new cards. Then, it has kind of a kitten mewing in a sonic way, like the greatest mewing kitten you’ve ever seen. The famous kitten who mewed their way around the world. It says, ‘A card game for people who are into kittens and mewing and laser-beams and sometimes goats.’ It also has a little award sticker that says Most-Backed Project in Kickstarter History. Then I have the price tag from where I bought it which is Rocket Reuse in Alameda. It’s ranked ages 7+ for two to ten players. So, that’s the front side of the box. It says Mewing Kittens on one of the long sides. Party Pack: Flip to Open.
On the other side it just says Mewing Kittens Party Pack and it has a little kitten profile. Then on the back it has some art. It has a Mewing Kitten card. I guess mewing is…I don’t know if mewing is the…honestly, I’ve never played this. I’ve heard a lot about it; people love it, my sister just bought it and was playing it with her family. But it has a couple other cards that we’ll look at later and we’ll talk about those later. I’ll read the box, then I’ll read the Wikipedia article or parts of it, about it. Then we’ll open the box and go through it. ‘Mewing Kittens,’ or, it is known by other names but that’s the name on this podcast, ‘is the most-backed Kickstarter project ever. It’s created by Elan Lee from XBox and ARG’s, Matthew Inman from The Oatmeal, and Shane Small from XBox and Marvel. Mewing Kittens made Kickstarter history when over 219,000 people backed the project. This game is a highly-strategic kitty-powered version of other famous games like Running…like a kitty-powered version of games like Water Balloon Toss.
Players draw cards until someone draws a MEWING KITTEN.’ That’s probably all caps. ‘At which point they mew, fall asleep, and they’re out of the game.’ Oh, so it’s like a sonic mew; so soothing, like one of those mews that’s so cute, you fall asleep. I guess it’s a bit like purring. ‘Unless that player has a Defuse card, at which point they can…’ oh no, no, I read that wrong. Depurr…but I think Empurr. Empurr, okay, that’s what it says. ‘At which point they empower the kitten to purr. Unless they have an Empurr kitten…oh, which can empower their kitten to purr or use things like laser-pointers, belly rubs, and catnip sandwiches. All of the other cards in the deck are used to move, mitigate, or avoid mewing kittens.’ I guess ‘cause mewing kittens probably want something. I don’t know; I’m allergic to cats. Yeah. Ages 7+, two to ten players. There’s a balloon there. There’s a lot of confetti drawn on the box. ‘This box contains all the cards from the original Mewing Kittens deck, The Purring Kittens Expansion, and ten new cards.
That’s enough cards to play with up to ten players. Inside this box is a unique code to unlock free mobile game content.’ It has a cat with a party streamer and a party hat on who looks like they just got finished [00:20:00] mewing. There’s also a code to…that you know you bought a real version of the game. Made in China by AdMagic. Copyright 2017, Mewing Kittens LLC, Los Angeles, California. There’s a website. It’s also known by other name…there’s…yeah, there’s other names this game goes by. Okay, so now I’m over at the Wikipedia page. I just want to see if there was any other details. Oh, it started…The Kickstarter was in January 27th of 2015. The initial project was ten grand but after opening, it’d already had had 100,000 backers. Its original funding was ten thousand. They ended up with $8,700,000. That’s pretty successful, with 200,000 backers. Fourth-most funded campaign on the crowd-funding site. At first, play test was recorded on YouTube by Smosh Games, or Smoosh Games. Backers started receiving deliveries in 2015.
All backers got it by September 2015. There’s been two spinoffs; Unstable Unicorns and Llamas Unleashed. The spinoffs were the inspiration of the Unstable Games Company. Yeah, I think that’s it. I’m gonna open the box, I think. Let’s see; it says ‘Setup time is less than a minute. Playing time: 15 minutes. Random chance is medium.’ Yeah, I’m gonna open the box. I’ll be back. Okay, so the first thing I noticed is that when you open the box, there’s…music plays but luckily it doesn’t keep playing. On the one side of the box is the thing that makes music. It also has cats in a conga line dancing. The first cat is the cat from the front of the box with the party hat on and maracas. Oh no, that’s a grey cat. The second cat may be the cat from the box which is a brown cat with a streamer. Then there’s some dark-grey cats, some lighter-grey cats. They’re all in a conga line. Oh, sure, what order does it go? Dark-grey, brown, light-grey, dark-grey, light-grey, brown, dark-grey with an orange hat, light-grey, grey-brown, dark-grey, you could say dark-grey to black, too.
I’d say sooty, soot-color, S-O-O-T. Then brown, oh, medium-grey or grey-brown, another orange-hatted black or dark-grey cat, and then a light-grey cat. There’s also confetti on this picture. The cat in the front has red maracas and then there’s balloons; there’s a red balloon, then an orange balloon, then an orange balloon, then a red balloon. Then a green balloon, then an orange balloon. Then off to the right by itself, a blue balloon, then back near the conga line, a red balloon, a blue balloon, a green balloon, an orange balloon, and a green balloon. There’s also a cat with a pink party hat on. I think I forgot to mention that. It seems like there’s a slot for cards in this thing. Maybe that was the extra cards. There’s no cards in there. I did buy this game used. Then there’s just…there’s instructions and two decks of cards, or two piles of cards. I’m gonna take out one deck of cards to start. Oh, and at the bottom of the card deck is a hidden picture. I’m looking on the left side.
The right side probably has another part of the hidden picture which we’ll look at later, but on the left side, this is interesting; there’s a cat, a light-grey cat with two balloons, a red balloon and a blue balloon, and on its…and an orange party hat with an orange poof ball at the top of it which the other party hats did have. The sky is pink to maroon with some clouds. Then, the cat is playing this game that got made into a movie, a game from the 80s, an arcade game called Furry Friends Climb Buildings. Its official title was Pages of Ramps. It was about all these furry friends, not just cats, but other furry friends climbing buildings. Very famous arcade game; I think The Rock was in the movie. That’s that, so I’m gonna go through this deck of cards first and then maybe the other deck of cards, or the instructions next. The backside of the card, it says Mewing Kittens. It does look like it’s stylistically very similar to a regular playing card. It’s different shades of red and maroon.
It says Mewing Kittens and it has the cat profile symbol on the top. Then it has some kind of circular designs or oval designs, then a image of a sonic cat mew, then a border or frame made up of what looks like cat paws, along with a human hand saying ‘Please stop mewing. Kiss of Zeus.’ A filer, for like, I guess if you’re filing your nails, and a water bowl. Then cat paws; did I say that? Then another border of just dots, then another border that’s just red and maroon, then a final…the white edges of the card. They seem to be plastic-coated playing cards or plastic playing cards. They’re very tactile. They have, I don’t know, they have…the cards have some sort of something…I don’t know, they’re very nice cards. I’m just gonna start off wherever and go through. The first card on the back side that I found; it’s called…what is it? What did I say it was called? What is that called? Empurr. So, it’s empowering purring; Empurr. This card is green. Oh, and it shows a person petting a cat.
I thought it was someone trimming a cat…like, rubbing a cat’s nails but it’s petting. It also has a cat paw. This is a lime-green color card. It also says Party Pack on the bottom left. I guess if you were limiting the cards or something, you’d take this out. That’s it. Oh, so it says Empurr via Kitten Therapy. These are all…the team; Matthew Inman does The Oatmeal and cats play a big part in that. There’s a comfortable chair where there’s a kitten therapist taking notes. Then there’s a lounge with another kitten lying there, saying, I’d be able to purr if my owner made it more predictable or whatever. That’s my projection. There’s also a bookshelf and a…what is that called? A degree in a frame just like you’d see at a regular therapist’s office. It says, ‘Put your last-drawn card back into the deck.’ Okay, the next card is a white card. That was a lime-green background. This has a white background. It has a question mark. It does say Party Pack on the bottom left.
It has a question mark and a hot pink circle, and it says Freedom Cat. It’s a cat overwhelmed with its own freedom. One of the cat’s eyes has a heart in it. The other has a swirly. The cat looks like it’s about to meow. This cat is saying, ‘I’ve had too much freedom.’ It says, ‘Use any Cat card…use as any Cat card with no instructions on it.’ That’s interesting. The next one is Beard Cat. It says Party Pack on the bottom left. Maybe all the cards do. If they do, I’ll stop saying that eventually. It’s a human with a cat for a beard. You see the cat’s tail, so it’s really a cat that says well, I’m a cat and I’m a beard. It’s very funny. That’s Beard Cat. The next card still says Party Pack. This one is blue. This says Skip and it has a person running. It has a human on it and it says, ‘Crabwalk with some crabs.’ I don’t know if you actually have to do that. That would be fun. There’s three crabs and a human crab-walking. The human looks like they’re not used to crab-walking which is like, kind of like [00:30:00] doing…what do they call that when you…a bridge or something?
You would lie down on your back and then you would hold yourself up with your hands and your legs and walk. That’s a crabwalk. It says, ‘End your turn without drawing your card.’ The next card is a human hand holding a hand up. It says, ‘Please don’t…’ the human hand says, ‘Please stop mewing.’ It says, ‘Nope. Nopestradamus speaks the truth. All signs point to nope.’ There’s a Nostradamus-esque character who says, ‘Stop the actions of another player. You could play this at any time.’ That sounds like a powerful card. Also, it’s nighttime; there’s a crescent moon. Then, another Diffuse Therapy card. Double Head-Pat. This is something my father does that can feel diminutive, or a lot of splainers probably do this; not that my dad’s a splainer but you know, that pat people on the head. You kind of say, don’t do that, please. It says, Double Pat. ‘Pat someone on the head in a way that says…’ and it shows a cat paw, so I guess you’re supposed to pat them like a cat.
Then it says, ‘End your turn without drawing and force any other player to take two turns. If they play a Head Pat turn in return, it becomes four turns and then six, and then so on.’ It sounds like you’re trying to avoid taking your turns. That’s interesting. This next card is blue. I forgot what color the one is…and it’s a Skip card. It says, ‘Don a portable cheetah butt.’ This would be fun for kids that would be laughing at this one. It shows a human running and they’re wearing a cheetah loincloth, kind of, or I guess a portable cheetah butt. It says, ‘End your turn without drawing a card.’ Okay, the next version is a Catermelon. I guess this is just a Cat card. It says, ‘Hack thoop.’ Shows a cat that’s a Catermelon, so, the cat is a watermelon. It’s saying ‘Hack thoop’ as it spits out a watermelon seed. Then, there’s an Empurr card. Empurr via Laser-pointer. ‘Put your last-drawn card back into the deck.’ It shows a cat chasing a laser-pointer; so cute. Then, we have a Nope card, so this is a strategic card, I guess.
‘Win the Nopebell Peace Prize.’ It shows a human holding up a giant cup, a trophy cup. It says a giant N-O-P-E, the Nopebell Peace Prize. This one is, ‘Stop the action of another player. You could play this at any time.’ These cards, the Nope cards, are red. That’s a human saying no, please stop purring or mewing, I guess. Now, this is a new color card that I haven’t seen; Shuffle. It’s light-brown, has a question, and shuffling. This one says, ‘A trans-dimensional litterbox materializes.’ Ooh. It has a cat with swirly eyes, then a swirly litterbox, trans-dimensional, and the eyes in the litterbox. The cat is saying, ‘When I go poo into the wormhole of a thousand possibilities, it will break the known universe. Also, it will probably smell like poo.’ It says, ‘Shuffle the Draw pile.’ Then we have another Catermelon, another Beard Cat, then we have a new Depurr card. The Depurr cards are light-green. This one says, ‘Depurr via Belly Rubs.’ There’s a cat with a to-do list.
Oh no, it’s a tummy-petting protocol. The cat’s already lying down. The cat’s also holding a pencil in one hand and the tummy-petting protocol in the other hand. ‘One, rub belly. Two, deal with how cats react to that sometimes even though they like it. Three, quietly shed some tears. Then four, continue rubbing cat’s belly. But then you get to put your last-drawn card back into the deck.’ Then we have another Shuffle card. I guess these crabs are a theme with these Shuffle cards. ‘Abracrab Lincoln is elected president.’ It shows Abraham Lincoln combined with a crab. It says, ‘Four shore and shellfish years ago.’ It has the Abraham Lincoln beard and hat on but also a crab body. ‘I will heal these cards as I heal the nation.’ Then it says, ‘Shuffle the Draw pile.’ We have another Beard Cat, another Catermelon. Then we have the famous card the game’s named after; Mewing Kitten. We have the first…it has two scenes on the card. It says Mewing Kitten on the top and bottom.
Then the top scene or the top panel is a cat slowly increasing its mewing. Remember, these are sonic mews. Then the next thing is the house below it that the cat is in, or kitten. The mewing’s so loud that it’s like, the windows have opened and the mewing’s spilling out. You’d be in the house; you’d be like, the neighbors are gonna hear you mewing and they’re going to think I’m a terrible cat owner. I think if you get that when you’re out of the game…it says, ‘Show this card immediately.’ The next one is very comedic. I feel like I associate rainbows and The Oatmeal a lot, that a lot of the times, The Oatmeal is black and white, and then punctuated by rainbows. But it says, Rainbow-Ralphing Cat and it has a cat letting a rainbow go out its mouth. Sleep With Me, this isn’t…we’re never critical here but we are the inventors of the ROYGBIV Institute which is an imaginary institute for holiday lights to be approved through the ROYGBIV protocols.
I would be remiss if to say there is no technical ROYGBIV…yeah, there’s no…because I don’t think ROYGBIV works, necessarily, when you’re being expressive. These aren’t technically ROYGBIV rainbows. The rainbow writing, it says Rainbow but it’s red, blue, red, red, orange, blue, green…probably ‘cause that looks better. Then the cat letting the rainbow out its mouth is just…it’s not even red; it’s like a hot pink, orange, yellow, orange, yellow, and yellow, green, green with some stars in it. It’s a Rainbow-Ralphing Cat. Then we have a new Depurr via Catnip Sandwiches and the cat is eating it saying ‘om-nom-nom-nom.’ There’s six floating sandwiches and then one the cat is eating very strongly, eating the catnip sandwich down. It says, ‘Put your last-drawn card back into the deck.’ Then we have a Rainbow-Ralphing Cat. I don’t know when you do when you…oh, I guess that’s a kind of cat. I guess, well, the Cat cards are part of the game, I think. Then we have a new card.
These are pink. This one says, See the Future. ‘Summon the mantis shrimp.’ This is very…what do they call that? The Beatles thing, the yellow submarine-esque art. It says, ‘You’re allowed to privately view the top three cards of the deck,’ which is interesting ‘cause then I guess you’d play the Shuffle thing if your turn was next. That’s my first strategic guess. ‘With these eyes, I see all…’ this is what the shrimp is saying, ‘With these eyes, I see all things regardless of space or time. Time is but a vessel for mewing, mewing rainbows.’ Then there’s rainbow art. See the Future. Then the next card is also a See the Future but it’s ‘Ask the all-seeing goat wizard.’ The goat wizard looks very comedic. It’s on top of a giant stump. There, of course, is a can [00:40:00] below. I can’t read it ‘cause my eyes aren’t that great. The goat has a beard and horns. It says, ‘Fortune telling, $20. Ask me questions; I can see the future because I am a magic goat. That is why my beard is so exceptional.’ That makes sense.
For this one, you can privately view the top three cards of the deck. You could kind of see how this could be such a fun game. The next one is a Favor card. To the left of Favor is a heart. This is like, a kind of black and white and brown colors on this card. It says, Favor; ‘Tell your friends the beard sailing…take your friends beard sailing on your beard boats.’ This is the USS Beard. There’s a person standing in the back of the boat and their beard is the sail. There’s two people at the front of the boat cheering with joy at the ride they’re going on. It says, ‘One player must give you a card of their choice.’ Then we have a card, ‘Draw from the bottom. Take a big bite of your coward sandwich.’ Then there’s a person eating a sandwich labeled ‘Coward.’ They don’t look like they’re enjoying it. ‘End your turn by drawing the card at the bottom of the pile.’ Then we have another See the Future; ‘Rub the belly of a Pig-A-Corn.’ It’s a unicorn and a pig; it says, ‘poof.’
It's very cute and interesting-looking, the Pig-A-Corn. There’s also stars and squiggles. This is all kind of a hot pink look. ‘You could privately view the top three cards of the deck.’ Next up is Taco Cat, and the Taco Cat is a taco and a cat and it’s saying, ‘I’m a palindrome,’ which is funny ‘cause it was Palindrome Day not that long ago. Taco Cat, Taco Cat. Coco…T-A-C-O…T-A-C-O. Wow, cool. That’s interesting. I was like, wondering if I knew what ‘palindrome’ meant. Then back-to-back Taco Cats, then a Double Head Pat which we had before. Then a Nope card that says…with a hand that says, ‘Please stop.’ It says, ‘A hope ninja blows a loving kiss.’ There’s a ninja jumping up and blowing a kiss that says Nope. I guess blowing a kiss of hope and it says, ‘Stop the actions of another player. You could play this at any time.’ Then a Double Head Pat, then a card that says, ‘Draw from the bottom. Say something nice. I love you from the bottom of my heart.’
It’s a heart but it’s pointing at the heart’s butt. It’s personif…what do you call that? Anthropomorphized heart? I don’t know. It’s a heart with a face and a butt and it’s pointing at the heart’s butt. ‘From the bottom of my heart.’ That’s funny. That would be funny on a card. ‘End your turn by drawing the card at the bottom of the pile.’ This is a new style of card and it’s cool, I mean, in my opinion. It’s purply. It says, ‘Alter the future. Go time-traveling with a crab and disrupt the Space-Crab Continuum.’ It shows a crab and a human dancing within the…in a purple, swirling space-time continuum. This time, you get to privately view and rearrange the top three cards in the Draw pile. It also has a wizard hat; alter the future like you’re a wizard. Then we have another mewing kitten but this is a different couple of comics. This kitten is at a supercomputer in the top panel and it says, ‘Worldwide mew? Yes or no?’ With a warning sign. The cat’s clearly about to point to Yes.
Then it has a picture of the Earth and giant mews getting…the whole Earth, every cat. Can you imagine that? Like every cat on the Earth mewed at the same time in that way that’s like, are you ever gonna stop mewing? I don’t even understand why you’re mewing. I personally, I don’t know. Yeah. But so, I don’t know. Most of the time, the cats don’t seem like they mew that much. But yeah, that’s a mewing kitten. Next card is a draw from the bottom. It says, ‘Release streamers from your underpants.’ It has a person with party streamers coming out of their underpants. It says, ‘End your turn by drawing a card at the bottom of the pile.’ The person’s very happy about having the streamers launch out of their underpants. Also, ‘underpants’ is kind of fun to say. Then another Rainbow-Ralphing Cat, then a Hairy Potato Cat which is a cat and a hairy potato. Another Hairy Potato Cat, so that’s clearly…we gotta do some shuffling.
Then a Depurr or Empurr card with the belly rubs, then a new Empurr card via Participation and Kitten Yoga, so it has a kitten…looks more like a cat to me, and a human, a shirtless human with a moustache and a furry body. They’re both doing…what is that called? Actually, no, ‘cause her legs are bent. I thought they were doing a side-plank and they may be. ‘You can put your last drawing card back into the deck.’ Then we have another Mewing Kitten card. This one is a kitten on a boat. The kitten’s underneath having a snack of something the kitten shouldn’t be snacking on, or maybe trying not to mew or something. I guess it’s looking at the snacks and trying not to mew. It’s on a ship on the ocean ‘cause then, the next card is a ship being overwhelmed with mews. ‘Cause I mean, think about it; if it’s a pirate ship, pirates are grouchy, then they happen to be sleeping. It’s nighttime, and then they get awoken by a mewing cat. If it was your cat, they’d say captain, it’s mutiny.
The captain would say, why is it mutiny? I’m the captain of this ship. They say, captain, your cat won’t stop mewing. That’s why it’s mutiny; we can’t…we’re grouchy. We can’t sleep and your cat was mewing by our snacks. Your cat mewed so much it spoiled our snacks. That could happen. Then a Triple Head Patting, which is one more than double. ‘End your turn without drawing and force any other player to take three turns. Then you can multiply that.’ Then another Skip card. This says, ‘Commandeer a Bunnyraptor,’ which is a dino-friend and bunny combined and then a human riding it. Makes me think of our friend Steven and his Jurassic Park podcast, good old Steven. Then Favor; this is…have to work…oh, it’s like, instead of goat yoga, it’s like, you have to do yoga with party squirrels. You’re doing yoga, the person’s on some sort of…they’re in Camel Pose, I think, and there’s three squirrels on them partying with balloons; a pink and a yellow balloon.
Two of them have red solo cups. They look like they’re singing loudly. Yeah, one has a party hat that’s orange with a red…pink poof. One has a pink hat with an orange poof, and the other one has a lime-green hat with a yellow poof. I don’t know, I’m kind of torn. I think I’ll just go through the art and not worry about the instructions. I’ve just pulled out the second deck of cards and it looks like the other side of the hidden art is just more of that game Pages of Ramps, the famous game where fuzzy friends climb on buildings. Let’s see, we got…I’ll just run through and see if there’s any cards that really catch…Skip; ‘There’s a hyper-goat. Engage the hyper-goat.’ A person riding a goat through space and time. There’s a Reverse card, ‘Reverse the order of the humans using kitty litter and the kitties using the toilet.’ Let’s see if there’s anything. Another Reverse; ‘Go back in time. Visit that park.’ Hairy Potato…See the Future; ‘Deploy special ops bunnies that have special goggles.’
Alter the Future; ‘Stare deep into the bum of a cat wizard and gain an understanding of all things.’ [00:50:00] See the Future; ‘Feast upon unicorn enchilada and gain its enchilada powers.’ Those look fun. Yeah. Oh, here’s another Shuffle card; ‘An electromagnetic Pomeranian storm rolls in from the east.’ Favor card, where cats are…is that cats? Oh no, I think those are like, squirrels and peanut butter. ‘Give some squirrels some peanut butter.’ Let’s see, that might be all the cards here. Oh no, nope. ‘A jackalope bounds into the room saying ‘nope’.’ Beard Cats. ‘Evade dirty sasquatch underpants.’ There’s another Skip card. ‘Feed an opponent a nope-sandwich with extra nope sauce.’ Oh, here’s another Mewing Kitten. This one’s a kitten sleeping on the warp core. It says, ‘Warning, no mewing near warp core.’ Then it shows the starship Enterprise. The cat was asleep but something woke it up and then it started mewing. That was the end of that.
Then there’s another cat mewing, kind of like the Pages of Ramps. There’s a cat mewing and they’re saying hey, we’re getting ready to clear these buildings out to make some new parking lots. I guess they empowered the cat to do that. There’s another one; Alter the Future, ‘Summon the golden-haired manatee.’ There’s a manatee with like, Fabio-esque hair. Very gorgeous. Then there’s a Reverse; ‘Return from…’ oh, ‘You have to go to the vet instead of your cat.’ That’s what that one is. ‘You even have to wear the cone.’ Then there’s a Reverse; ‘Get a tummy massaged from your cat.’ Then another See the Future; ‘Crawl inside a goat butt and see many wonderous things.’ Kids love this game, clearly. Then the last new card we hadn’t seen, Alter the Future; ‘Gaze upon a Furmaid’, which is a furry mermaid. Now I’m just gonna grab the instructions here. It’s unfolding instructions. It looks like it’s two pages. Maybe I’ll see how much I can get through.
Mewing Kittens: The Rules. 122 cards, two to ten players. Then it says hey, don’t read these rules. Reading is the worst way to learn how to play a game. Instead, go online, which is what I’ve been doing for most games now, is just going online. Go to their website which is a link to. But yeah, if you have a other game other than this that doesn’t have a link to its videos, you just go on YouTube and put the name of the game and how-to. But basically, this is like, how does it work? ‘In the deck are some Mewing Kittens. You play the game by putting the deck facedown and taking turns drawing cards until someone draws a Mewing Kitten. When that happens, the person falls asleep and is out of the game. Process continues ‘til there’s one player left who wins the game. The more cards you draw, the greater your chance of drawing a Mewing Kitten. Basically, a kitten mews, you lose. You’re full of incendiary loser sad sauce. If your kitten doesn’t mew, you win. You’re full of greatness.
Great job, buddy. All of the other cards will lessen your chances of getting…dealing with mewing kittens. For example, you could use a See the Future card to take a peek at the top few cards in the draw pile. If that reveals a Mewing Kitten, you could use a Skip card to end your turn and avoid drawing it. The setup is to start…remove all of the Mewing Kittens from the deck and set them aside. Now look through your remaining deck and based on the number of players, use the following cards; for two to three players, use only the cards with pawprints in the corners. For four to seven players, use the cards…use only the cards without the paw prints and for eight to ten players, use all the cards.’ That’s pretty easy. That’s probably how the people had it organized. Okay, ‘Number three, remove all of the Empurr cards from the deck and deal one to each player. Insert any extra Empurr cats back in the deck if there are any. Each player starts with an Empurr card, the most powerful card in the game.
These are the only cards that save you from Mewing Kittens. If you draw a Mewing Kitten instead of getting…going to sleep, you can play your Empurr card and reinsert the Mewing Kitten back into the draw pile anywhere you’d like in secret. Try to get as many Empurr cards as possible. Number four; shuffle the deck and deal seven cards facedown to each player. Everyone now has eight cards. Five; insert enough Mewing Kittens back into the deck so there is one fewer than the number of people playing. Remove any extra ones from the game. For a four-person game, three kittens. For a three-player game, two kittens. For a two-to-three-person game, the Mewing Kittens you insert will all be…will be the only cards that do not have pawprints. Number six; shuffle the deck, put it facedown in the middle of the table. That’s your Draw pile. Be sure to leave some space for a Discard pile. Seven; pick a player to go first. Most impressive beard, most intimidating odor, shortest spleen, etcetera. Taking your turn; look at the cards in your hand.
Play a card by placing it faceup on the Discard pile and then follow the instructions on the card. After you follow the instructions on the card, you may play more cards. You can play as many cards as you’d like. Read the text on a card to learn what it does or play no cards at all. That’s cool, too. End your turn by drawing a card from the top of the pile into your hand and hope it’s not a Mewing Kitten. This is different from most games that you end your turn by drawing a card. Play as many or few cards as you like, then draw a card to end your card. Play, then draw, play, then draw. Pretty simple. Play continues clockwise around the table. Ending the game; the last player who hasn’t fallen asleep from mewing wins the game. You won’t ever run out of cards in the Draw pile because you’ve inserted enough Mewing Kittens for all but one player. Three more things; by saving your cards early in the game while your chance…oh, try saving your cards early in the game while your chances of falling asleep from mewing are low.
You can count the cards left in the Draw pile to figure out the odds. There is no maximum or minimum hand size. If you run out of cards in your hand, there’s no special action to take. Keep playing. You’ll draw a card at the end of each turn. Some cards don’t have any instructions on them. Cat cards; these cards must be collected and played as matching pairs. If you play matching pairs…’ oh, this is good, ‘…if you play matching pairs of Cat cards, pick another player and steal a random card from their hand.’ Then it says, ‘Stop reading and go play.’ But then there’s a backside that we’ll look at of this info sheet. Okay, it has stuff about the example turns, it has stuff about the different cats and the play we went through, the different Cat cards. The Freedom Cat can be used as any Cat card. Oh, so you could use it to make cat pairs, I guess, like it’s wild. ‘Special combos; read this after you’ve played your first game.
Two of a kind; play matching pairs where you get to steal another card from another player. No longer applies to cat cards. It now applies to any two cards. Three of a kind, you play with…or, five different cards.’ That’s just ways to do it. This really does seem like a really fun game. I’m looking forward to playing it probably tonight. [01:00:00] Yeah, I’m not getting these…I like doing these gaming episodes and now I like getting them out to just encourage you. Yeah, this is something you could do with the people in your life. Alright, goodnight.
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