877 – Oblong and Oddlong

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, it's time for the podcaster. Patrons, you help me, I help you. It's pretty simple, pretty beautiful. Almost as beautiful as that night sky or whatever… almost as beautiful as the coughs drop of your dreams. Holy cow. Is it glossy? Is it a matte finish? Is your coughs drop menthol or lyptus or just some fruit flavor? Is it a honey? Is it a tea? I don't know, patrons, but I couldn't do it without you. I know that much. 

It's time for Sleep With Me, a podcast you enable to put you to sleep, patrons. 

Hey, everybody, it's Scoots and I know this is not an easy time for anybody. This episode was recorded a few months ago, so I just wanted to let you know that and to let you know to check our show notes for resources because the podcast is here to put you to sleep, but there's more resources in our show notes if you're needing more. Please use those links. You're really important to me, so please use them. Thank you so much. 

Hey, are you up all night, tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me: The Podcast that Puts You to Sleep. We do bedtime story. All you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever's keeping you awake, like thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time or temperature or routine. Whatever's keeping you awake, I'm here to take your mind off of that. So, stuff you might be thinking about, that might be past, present or future, anything emotionally coming up for you or physically you're experiencing, any changes in your schedule, whatever it is, like I already said, or repetition… Whatever it is, I'm here to take your mind off of that.

And what I'm going to do, I got this safe place, it's calm, it has soothing stuff. I have rounded stuff. There's some oblong things. I got a room of oblong things. That does sound like it could be part of a hook of a pop song, “I got a room of oblong things.” I don't know, maybe we'll come back to that. If experience tells me anything about making this podcast, we'll be on an oblong journey and somebody might say, “Well, heavy on the long part and the Oddlong…” well, odd-long and oblong. 

Holy mackerel, I just thought of a new set of characters for the… I thought I knew what this episode was going to be that I was going to record, but not anymore. Maybe we'll talk about that tonight. So what I'm going to do, I have the safe place. Sorry about that. I got a little excited. Who would have thought, this early in the show, we would have made new friends? How about that? And friends we don't have to interact with or make eye contact with. Wow, those are the best kind of friends, imaginary friends that don't even include… there's no social compact because… I don't know, maybe I could come up with… maybe those will be two of my new imaginary friends. 

Okay. Well, so what was I saying? I forgot. Create a safe place where you could set aside whatever's keeping you awake. And the way I do it is I send my voice across the deep dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky dulcet tones. Creaky dulcet tones mean that they're somewhat sweet but balanced out with this creakiness. There used to be this show called This Old House, I think where they were like this old house, we fix it up and magically… Bob Vila was the star of that show, I think. That was on PBS. This was back before… I know this is probably not for a sleep podcast, but I'm sure Bob Vila is happy for the success on one level, depending on how grounded and also don't know Bob Vila's big farm status. But like you say, “Well, I'm happy for all those people and all the success they're getting from home and garden style television shows and networks.” And I'm sure Bob Vila probably had Bob Vila's own lifetime of enjoyment and success. 

But I guess holy projection, you're right. If I was Bob Vila… Bob Vila, Bob Vila. Who's that? That's my internal mirror. Is that my Bob Vila shadow self as Bob Vila? You don't you don't even know what I'm talking about. But I would say, “Darn it. I wish I was… ” you know what I'm saying. I'll say, “Well, I missed out.” That's the kind of stuff that goes through my head at bedtime, actually. So that's why I make the show. I'm kind of cutting ahead, but that's what we're having. I lie down and those are the kind of thoughts that I'm saying, “Well, I'm all comfortable here, I'm ready for bed.” And then these things pop in my head and say, “Well… ” I'm saying, “Well I'm not Bob Vila or Bob Vila.” 

If you look at all those people. they're making big dough at home and garden network. What about you? I'm not good at home or garden. Neither one of those are in my wheelhouse. I don't even know what a wheelhouse is and I can only imagine what one is. Just think about it. You really missed out on the home and garden boom. You're right. I also miss out on the food, the driving around and tasting food boom. I think if you want to mind my retro sleeplessness, I'd prefer that one. But I got to get back to the actual listeners I'm responsible to. Sorry about that. 

So if you're new, I'm going to send my voice across the deep dark night, we covered that I'm going to use the lulling, soothing, creaky dulcet tones. Pointless meanders, I just went on a few, circuitous tangents, meanders, all those things, go off topic as sometimes right away. Now, if you're new, here's a few things really important to know, what I'm glad you're here and I truly believe you deserve a good night's sleep. I hope I can provide it.

The thing is, I can't do that for everybody. This podcast is not for everyone. I'm not everyone's cup of tea. But I will tell you, if you've arrived doubtful or skeptical, that's actually most regular listeners arrived with, so that's a good sign. I mean, why wouldn't you be skeptical? And I can tell you that those listeners, like who number in like the hundreds of thousands, they said, “Well, it took two or three tries or four tries and then I realized I didn't have to figure out what Scoots was up to because he doesn't quite know what he's up to. He's wandering around he doesn't know as Bob from his Bila. 

Maybe this will be one of my fictional… this one wouldn't even be a fictional autobiography. Playing hide and seek with my shadow self like, but it would have probably a question mark in there, some sort of tease. But that could be a book I could write. It could be a book title I could write because I just did. I don't know about the rest of it. So if you're new, give the show a few tries. Here's a couple other things to help put things at ease. But I realized I can't do that in just want one intro. I keep making these intros and I keep trying because I'm just trying to create a safe place and take your mind off stuff.

But this podcast is very different. That's kind of what ends up working after two or three tries. So here's a few other things. One, the structure of the show is very different than most podcasts, even most sleep podcasts. Our show starts off with a few minutes of business and that's how we keep it free in versus behind a paywall. Then I talk for about 12 to 18 minutes, I call it an intro, and it's really a chance to wind down, whether you start the podcast as you're getting ready for bed or you're in bed.

It just gives you while I can talk about Bob Bila, and Bob Vila, and HGTV and then try to go back and explain what the podcast is. It gives you a chance to get some distance from your day and maybe just barely immerse yourself in what I'm saying and kind of let everything else fade away. And if you find, after one or two tries, the intro and work for you, you could start the podcast at 20 minutes and then you just get into the content, although the content itself isn't too much different than this. Because you say, “Well, I want to skip ahead to where you get to the point,” and I say, “Oh, boy.” I'd say, “I'm kind of me,” and remember I'm in an oblong state of mind just like that song, the parody song I wrote that wasn't really a parody, it was just a truth.

What is it if it's a parody song that tells the truth? That's what I'm working on for my speech. It's a parody song or I guess if there was one and I actually had any musical talent, I'd say like they see didn't notice… wasn't that song only relevant… I mean, you picked a song title that was relevant a few different times, but you're a few decades off because even Empire State of Mind, you're about 12 years too late, Scoots. And then I'm in a New York state of mind. I'm sure there's other ones too, but you you're in an oblong state of mind. Well, that's just the truth, I guess. Yes, you're right. So the intro kind of goes off topic and then comes back. So that's the intro.

Then there's business and that's just kind of the natural podcast structure, usually break, some business and then the episode. So it's just how we do it too. And then if there'll be a story, I guess it'd be related to Oddlong and oblong. I didn't expect that, but we got to lean in and meet your new imaginary friends with gusto. So there's that. That'll be about 45 minutes then there's some thank yous at the end. So that's the structure of the show. This is also a podcast you don't really need to listen to. You could listen to it. You could also barely listen to it.

If you try to figure it out, that's when like you say, “I'm not sure about this, Scoots, or I have that steam coming off my head thing.” And I'd say, “Is that an emoji?” You say, “No, it's steam coming off my head because you don't get to the point.” And I'd say, “Well, it's a good thing you're another figment of my imagination. Come on in here for a hug.” I'd say, “What if I take that steam and I rub it right back in to your head? Would that put you in an oblong state of mind?” Oh, it would because you're part of my internal makeup. Good because I got to move on. 

So it's a podcast you don't need to listen to. You could kind of listen a bit like a 3d eye painting or whatever they're called, drawing or computer designed image is what it really is, no offense. I mean, maybe it was a 3d painting, but they always looked like they are computer generated. Holy cow, I didn't think I would make… I'm sorry, 3d eye painting term. I didn't mean to say that in a way that could be… I'm not trying to be exclusionary. I'm just saying, I guess I am assuming, I'm sorry. You're right. Why am I not apologizing? This puts things really in three-dimensional perspective, you're right. I assumed you were computer designed and that you weren't paying it, but I really don't know. I'm just assuming. So I was wrong. I'm sorry. And if there's a way I can make it up to you. You see, I don't really know. I do wonder how 3d paintings are made. That would be a true statement. So, I'm sorry.

Anyway, I got to get back. I'm not going to apologize for getting back to the new listeners though. So I guess you don't really need to listen to it. Here's the other side of it though. There's no pressure to fall asleep. I'm going to be here for about an hour to keep you company as you drift off so you can kind of get comfortable and fall asleep whenever you want. And here's one other side of it. You know, there's few that listen that can't fall asleep at all. And I'm here for If that's your situation, or there's just a part of you that says, “Well, I don't know.” don't worry, I'm here to keep your company to the very end.

That's what I see as my job is to take your mind off of stuff and to be here for you so that you have space to fall asleep at night. Now, the space I designed it in is a bit goofy and different and some people might call weird. But yeah, I mean, it's a contrast I guess to things that would be more normal and I'd rather be me, you know. You can't be that anything but an oblong state of mind. I'm an oblong peg in a, you know, round and square where. I've lived that way my whole life and finally, I learned that I could be here for you. I mean, what greater honor is it? 

You see, I went through my life trying to figure out which one of those round things for those square ones and try to use that analogy and I say, “Well, I'm putting the round one in the square one in the square one in the round one.” And then I went through a time in my life where I said, “Well, maybe I'm just what's in between,” or whatever. And then I realized I was oblong. And then I also realized there was other kinds. There wasn't just around in the square, there was many other ones. Just like that whatever, that octagon as they used to give kids. That had other shapes too. I mean, that was to teach the kids. No, no, it's more than two shapes, but it's still a limited number of shapes and you got to put the shape in the right hole.

And then one day I said I might be oblong and I might be oblong and that's okay. I actually never said that to myself. It's just one of the slow learning. But the thing is if they're even making a [inaudible 00:16:02], I didn't know that. I didn't know it until just right now and here sharing that with you. But really, just to keep you company as you fall asleep and that really to me is beautiful because I've been there. The beautiful part is I know how it feels. Tossing and turning, dreading bedtime, all of that. And if I can help you feel more comfortable, not like count the hours down to bed and be like, “Well, I got Scoots there. At least I know he's going to overuse a word. Like I didn't expect him to overuse oblong. I thought he might overuse goop or something again.”

So I got that to look forward to. Mixed bedtime, not half bad. That's my goal. I mean, I would love to put a neutral look on your face, maybe make you giggle, barely, bore giggle. But I'm really here to help because I've been there. You deserve a good night's sleep. You deserve a space of rest where tomorrow, you could live your life a little bit more and maybe flourish and then everybody wins. So I'm here to help. The only downside is it doesn't work for everybody, but you could give the show a few tries and then move on if it doesn't work. You can check the podcasts. It's sleepwithmemepodcast.com/nothankyou.

But I'm here to help. You know, I really yearn and I strive to do so. Thanks again for coming by. And here's a few of the ways we're able to keep this podcast a free for everybody. Oka. Hey, where am I? Hello? Hello. Oh, I'm at a waiting room. Oh, what am I waiting for? Oh, introductions? I don't know. I guess I wasn't expecting to be introduced anyone, to be honest with you. Who am I being introduced to, I guess, would be my next question. Just wait? Okay. 

Should I sit down? I'm sorry, I don't mean to… are you going to leave and go get to people you're introducing me to, a person? Is it person or persons? Because they're just saying if I sit down and then if you're going to be right back, I won't sit down because I have to stand back up and there'll be that moment where if I just stand up, I'll actually be prepared. I could do a handshake move. So you say, “Okay, I'll just stand. I'll hope your prompt.” 

Good thing I brought my recording equipment, everybody. Scoots, I'm here. I don't think I'm in a dream, but I'm here in a waiting room. It's not a dreamy waiting room, but it's not bad. You know, one of those waiting rooms that's been made in the last 20 years, maybe even last five years? It's got sleek sofas. Oh, there's a little fridge with a clear door. They didn't say I could get a drink though. It looks like it has some drinks in there. Yeah.

Oh, someone's bringing something. Hi. Oh, tea. Is it tea for two? Tea for three. Really? Interesting. Okay, well, tea for three. I'm so glad to be at your workplace. Are you the tea… you're just doing your job? Yeah, no, just wondering where you work. You work here and inside. Yeah. So is this the lobby or is this a waiting… this is the meeting room. The greeting or the meeting room. Okay, so there's tea. Does have the sugar in the squares? Because then I could at least say one lump or two. Okay, I'll see you later. Thanks. Beautiful tea set, by the way. Okay, it looks like we have some tea here. 

Oh, and here comes a person that was… hello. Okay, hi. Who do you have? Interesting. Something familiar. Oh, clearly you are twins. Oh, hi. You're not speaking though. Yeah, hi, I'm Scooter. Yeah, I'm Scoots. Scoots Mcgoots. No one calls me that, but sometimes when I call myself a name, when I refer myself in the third person or the first person, I like to add out the last name. So call me Scoot… if you need to do that, just call me Scoots Mcgoots and then if we get along, you could say, “I'm in cahoots with Scoots Mcgoots for fun in toots like.” We have some tea brought out for us. It's tea for three.

Okay, so you're going to go? You want to introduce me? Okay, who are you introducing, an oblong? Okay, nice to meet you. You are Oblong and Oddlong. Nice to meet Oddlong. They may start talking to me. Okay, I'm sorry just a little context, though. I just I was doing a podcast intro and then another part of me stepped in to do the middle business part and now I'm here in a waiting room. I mean this has happened before in the podcast. NBD, as they say, as you would say in a text format. But I'm just trying to get some… so I'm going to be with Oblong and Oddlong for the day and get to know them. Oh, they're applicants? Is this like one of those job boards like a physical embodiment of one of those job boards? It'd be great if you sponsor my podcast again. It'd be good because it'd be terrific.

I don't know if there's a lot of hiring that goes on with my listeners, but is this… okay. Hey, Oblong and Oddlong, don't worry about it. We're just talking. Okay, do you want to fill me in in front of Oblong and Oddlong? What role or positions are they applying for? Imaginary friend? imaginary friends, okay, because that would be strange if they were in competition. Oh, you just shrugged, okay. All right, I guess I'll see you later. So should I be back here at like… what time do you close? Okay, well, I'll make sure I'm back here by then. Don't leave though unless I come back with Oblong and Oddlong because… is there a lobby downstairs? Because I just don't know if I need to come… do I need to come all the way back up here? All right, then. See you later. 

Here, Oblong and Oddlong, have a seat. You seem to be dressed in very formal attire, which I guess is good if you're applying… I mean, stuff that you don't communicate, you're just kind of looking at me. But I was going to say you're kind of dressed like English schoolchildren from a novel. I mean, I'm not saying this is how you're dressed. What immediately I thought of is… I get these two mixed up. It's not Amelia Bedelia, but I always think it's Amelia Bedelia. Do you know who Amelia Bedelia is? I think she was someone that solves mysteries. One of the many mysteries solvers. But no, I'm not thinking of that one. 

I'm thinking of it was like another character and she was a schoolgirl and I think her class went on a trip. They were in France or they were French and her name may have been Amelia. Some reason, your formal attire reminds me of that. Like we're on our way to school, which I guess would be a good place to… yeah. So I guess you could nod if you know I'm wrong or you know I'm correct. Well, real quick. Let's have some tea, I guess. I don't really know how teapots work when they're brought to you. So I presume there's tea already steeping. A little presumptuous. 

Is this a mega corporation, do you know, or private equity firm, like Imaginary Friends Incorporated? This is a good question if you're applying to me my best friend. When I say K-I-D-S, Kids Incorporated, does that do anything to you? Okay, right. So that's a good sign. You nodded knowingly or confused. That's a good move either way. So this tea is already made. Would you like some milk or some sugar in your tea? Yeah, you'd never had tea in this situation. Yeah. I think this is kind of to put a little, I don't know what that word is, formality, pomp and circumstance into our negotiation, so have tea. 

My best idea is we'll see where the elevator goes. After we get off the elevator or even on the elevator, if for some reason, this is a novel or something, an adventure story, if you could just tap your feet, then I will know that then we'll exit the building via the lobby and we could just go our separate ways or I could take you somewhere. But I would presume they would be prepared for that. So actually, just tap your feet and then later on we'll just go through the motions.

Also, I have to tell you both the truth. If I think you're applying to be my imaginary friends, I don't think you could trust my intentions fully. I'm probably subconsciously trying to impress you both with anything I say. Oh, so back to the tea. Here's the here's a proposal. What if we all have it with a little milk and one lump of sugar just to see because I don't think… okay. Oh, great. You're very agreeable. Yeah, so there we go. Do you mind if I put this in a cloth over my forearm? Do you mind if I pour your tea in a fancy way? Whatever they call. I forgot. Sometimes my vocabulary is self-limiting. A flourish, that's the word I was thinking of. Something about your eye contact. You're Oblong, correct? Right. Oh, boy. Oblong and Oddlong. Beautiful names. Beautiful names.

So just stir your tea as you wish. These are teaspoons. They're not actually… technically, they're teaspoons, but like as far as the scientific… what would you say? Technically, this is a teaspoon. It's a swoon. We're having tea. It's a tea-sized spoon. Do you know who Abbott and Costello are? Kind of. I don't know if they ever did a bit about teaspoons in teaspoons because you'd say, “Well, is it a spoon for use in tea or a spoon for the measurement of the unit, a teaspoon unit?” I mean, I honestly don't know if the teaspoon has to do with the metric system or not. But yeah, I've always wished I was on the metric system. I mean, for me, I'm confused either way. So we might as well be confused to go… I might as well be globally confused instead of nationally confused.

So here we are just three of us here. Do you ever slurp your tea? Are you into that? I guess I'm a slurper. Somebody the other day was I wouldn't say making fun of me. What do they call that? Jack really teasing me that I was I'm a slurper. Maybe, but I drink so little soup. I mean soup is made for slurping. I got a smile on your face, Oddlong, out of that one. Because you know I was going to say that was another great parody song that I never wrote. If we become best friend… how can I get imaginary friends and best friends confused? Is that what you're here to teach me about is the fact that I get those things mixed up? It would be good to know because you got a lot to talk about. 

Okay, let's get moving. Let's get on this elevator once you're done with your tea. I didn't mean to rush either one of you. Sorry. When I said that, you both spilled your tea when you get up quickly. Yeah, let's take this elevator. I'm presuming, hopefully, oh boy. I'm hoping if we press down, we're in a skyscraper and we're not in some sort of secret base thousands of floors below the earth. I don't know what that would be called. It wouldn't be called friendship base. Is this Imaginary Friendship Institute? Imaginary Friendship Institute. I guess it's IFI, but it doesn't sound like that would be the first letters. Imaginary Friendship Institute. That's IFI, right, Oddlong?

Okay, this is kind of like babysitting. I mean, not that you are babies. No, no, no. I have no idea how old the two of you are. You seem, I'm not good at that, I'm guessing you're somewhere between seven and 23. Oddlong, I could tell I'm incorrect and also interesting. But I guess if you're imaginary, what does that mean? We probably don't have enough rapport yet to talk about debt because that seems like could be… that could be a real thought experiment, oh boy. What I was saying, though. Oh yeah, you're right, I should press a button. Oh, boy. Thanks for looking at that panel, Oddlong. You're really on it. Press the L. We can't go wrong with the L unless it stands for landing pad and even then, that would mean we're going up to landing pad.

Did you know I got a picture with Launchpad McQuack recently and also a High Five? It wasn't on my list of things to do, to wish for. Okay, here we go. This is a lobby. Man, you want to talk about it a lot. I mean, this is what most lobbies are like. Does anyone ever write an ode to business lobbies or something like the corporate lobby? An ode to corporate lobbies. Silent in the morning before we arrive, except for those who've already arrived. Waiting for everyone to start their day. The hustle the bustle and then we all go away. Oh lobby, you're cold, I'll be honest with you. At the end of the day, you have something out of you. We all rush out of your view. Why do I need to rhyme when I'm here? Because I don't I don't know what else I'd do, lobby, my dear. But lobby, I'll be honest, this is my first time here, but I've seen you a million times before and this much is clear. It's not easy being a lobby.

That's the end of it. I could go on. She'll get to know me, you'll learn that. Also, I didn't say any of that to impact a lobby. It's just as these lobbies have a certain feel where you're like, “Well, I'm here. Finally getting some of sweet fluorescent lighting on me.” And then you go like, “I can't get out of here. Let's go down here. How are you doing? Do we need to sign out or anything? No? Okay, great.” Now, what I'm not going to do is ask to the security person if they… because they can't [inaudible 00:34:27]. Okay, good, good, good.

So as I was saying, we'll go out of this lobby and we'll take a left. I think we're in South Market at San Francisco, believe it or not, which is an area… you don't know this area that well, but we could always start walking. Yeah, that's a good idea. Kind of familiar. I'll get a feel. I mean, if you're applying for this position, you should know there's nothing I love more than being lost. I mean, as long as I don't get to be somewhere on time. So we'll take a left here and we'll just start walking. As long as I'm feeling comfortable, which is a narrow window. But how often am I lost? Usually, when I'm feeling comfortable.

Let's walk down here. Let's see there's some sun. Now this is San Francisco so we got to make the most of it. There's some sun hitting that bench there. So these are trolley tracks or streetcar tracks and so we could sit here and enjoy the sounds of streetcar going by. That might be imaginary too. And you know, you sometimes when you're with me, you're going to think two plus two is five and sometimes, I don't know when it would be, I guess that would be like the teacher would say, “Well, you're lukewarm on that answer, Scoots.” Let's say two plus two is not five. Oh, it's even, it'll be four. 

But let's see here and let's have a talk about imaginary friendship because I think you need to know everything about… okay, so you two don't talk thus far. So I had an imaginary friend named Bill. Yeah, that was my imaginary friend from childhood, which is ironic because now I'm a friend of Bill's in a different way. So now, I have two friends named Bill. Bill used to say, “You're a friend of Bills, I'd say.” Well, I didn't remember.

So that's what I really wanted to do, just let you both know. I had an imaginary friend as a child. Don't remember. We've covered this. I don't know if you listen to my podcasts, it's what made people sleep, so most of you wouldn't remember anyway, probably. But I had an hidden imaginary friend named Bill, who I forgot about too, just to be straightforward with you. I'm sure it's a natural thing. And maybe that's part of my job. 

Holy Moly, where am I coming from? I should be figuring out how I can be of service to the two of you, particularly since you don't talk. Okay, let me just not worry about that. Let me just tell you the truth first because it's just who I am. So I forgot about Bill. I think that probably happens to a lot of people or maybe not. And you would have thought Bill never existed. So I don't know if at the Imaginary Friend Institute they prepare you for this kind of stuff. And again, I guess out here, just tap your left foot like a tap dancer or nervous tap or if any of this, you say, I don't want to be in an imaginary… because if you don't want to be an imaginary friend, we don't have to go back to that building.

I don't really have any space even for imaginary friends moving in with me full time, but we'll figure something out. I mean, also I'm saying is I've never been an imaginary friend, but I can imagine it's not easy. And I would think that old timers would be like in this day and age, well, probably old timers would say, “God, it's so easy being an imaginary friend,” because you could just use friend con or whatever, find my human and all that. From my perspective, never been a tougher time to be an imaginary friend. 

Now, that's speaking from someone that was saying that I had an imaginary friend, forgot about Bill. Then one day, I remember Bill. Then I talked to Bill on the podcast. I said, “Hey Bill, sorry, forgot about you for about 20, 30 years. Wow, you were really there for me when I needed you, then I forgot about you. Let's be friends again.” Then I got busy. I got so busy I forgot about Bill again. Then I remember Bill, then I didn't exactly forget about Bill. Just kind of said, “Well, I'm going to put those thoughts over here.” 

Then I apologized and then I had Bill on the podcast again. I said, “Bill, sorry about that. I said we're going to be friends again. I said we'd get together.” We did ride a carousel, which was nice. I think the second time, we walked around the New York State Fair maybe or we did something. Oh, you guys like the sound of that New York State Fair. I could tell. It sounds great, huh? And then I forgot about Bill again. There may have been another point where I remembered Bill and Bill's kind of been in not my fore thoughts and not a hundred percent forgotten, which I guess to me I'd say, “Scoot, why don't you just… ” I just want you two to know what you could be getting into. 

I mean, particularly with the sunset said, I I don't remember putting, know how to be application for like in a call for best imaginary friends. Now, you may be hearing me accidentally say best friend and imaginary friend. So that may be a set of clarification. I think maybe even Bill has tried to explain that to me. As far as my memory goes, I don't think Bill talked a lot. So that might be part of being an imaginary friend. But it guess I'm thinking, “Well, not everybody has to be a best friend, right? You can be friends with somebody, but you don't have to be best friends or friends that talk every day. And I guess gets if you're imaginary friends then. I don't know, I'm just thinking out loud. But I guess I'm thinking that I should find out how to be of service to the two of you since you're here. 

So let's get walk and again. Let's walk through this way. I think we're headed towards where the stadiums are in the water. This is a nice day for walk in, isn't it? Yeah. This is a nice area. We got some sidewalks, aa boulevard, just me and a couple of imaginary friends will walking, the sun shining on us. Did you have those hats like when we first started going? Who was at a studio? Somebody told me about the Amelia Bedelia mix up thing. And then I said, “Oh, yeah.” but then I forgot it again because now you're wearing those hats with those ribbons. I like that. 

You know, there used to be two twin sisters that would walk around San Francisco. And then we had Frank with a 12-galaxy sign. I still see Frank sometimes. Then we have had a lot of famous buskers. I don't know how to say, the two good lines, they used to sing songs like My Madonna and I think they did the weather one time for [inaudible 00:43:08] or they were part of the weather. 

Yeah, okay. Here's the thing, I'm wondering if it would be good to have imaginary friends that are a lot younger than me, but not kids because now that I'm realizing, even though you're dressed as school children, I'm sorry about that. I'm guessing if you're imaginary friends and projecting these outfits on you, I don't know where… holy Freud. Let's not go there, but I don't think there's anything. It just must be so that I feel comfortable in your presence. I don't know. I mean, we could just agree to blame Amelia Bedelia at this point and then say, “Let her solve her own problems, you know.”

Here's another thing it gets him that looking for imaginary friends that are going to solve my problems. No, I'm not kidding either. Hear me out because I guess I've been learning… I forgot about Bill. Let's just say that not everything is that word, P-R-O-B, problem. And our trend is to say, wait a second, this actually is an opportunity to hear people say that and I'd say, “Oh, my boy,” or a challenge. You say, well, it's a challenge, a growth opportunity. I would say that in a smarmy way. And I still will, holy cow, but that change is inevitable. So I don't know if that has to do with anything. 

Yeah, if we keep going down the street, I can see the water. Red's Java House is down there and I think the Delancey Café is around here, I'm pretty sure. Maybe not. I think I'm like 80 blocks off. I am. That's what I always say, coming the other way. I say we're almost there and then it ends up being and then people say we're going walk all the way back this way, because I love walking. So, I'm trying to think, this isn't my shining hour of being able to figure out how to deal with this. So I guess it's my understanding, we were introduced to one another. You're applicants. Did she say to be my imaginary friends, applicants for imaginary friendship? 

Here's the thing, what am I looking for for an imaginary friend? I guess one that helps me ask for help. That would be one. I guess it feels weird, but I want to be honest, imaginary friend, I can't have you demanding my attention because I'm too much of like… I say this doesn't really feel fair to say, “Well, hey, how about we go,” but I guess with a playful attitude. I mean, I can't imagine that that this is an accident because I was just talking about Oblong and Oddlong and that's the spiegeltent, I think. It's not supposed to be here, which is spiegeltent. I don't know if that's how you pronounce it, but it was… what was it called? Circus something. A bit like Cirque du Soleil, a little bit smaller.

It's the middle of the day right now, so it's beautiful inside. Let's just go inside. Let's just do it. This is the kind of wild stuff I do with my imaginary friends. Yeah. So we come in here. It's open. I would assume this as part of your application. This is kind of like the waiting area for the show. So it's a dinner show. It was a circus. I don't know if it's still going on. But yeah, look around and it's like we're inside of a tapestry. And yeah, this is where people like you have like, get ready for the show. Maybe have a snack or drink [inaudible 00:47:59]. So it's nice. It's not bad.

And where were we? So yeah, let's sit down here. This is some [inaudible 00:48:10]. Some comfy couches here in the spiegeltent. So where was I? I was saying… I don't have any idea what I was saying. Well, here's the thing, when I hear your name… so the podcast that I make, Sleep with Me, involves a lot of ovular thinking, which I guess is a bit oblong in. It's also odd, a little bit different. And I guess it would be odd and it's also long, so you both got that covered? How would you feel about this? Now, I'd have to probably circumvent some of the old whatever it's called, IFI regulations? What if you became imaginary friends of my podcast and for all the listeners too?

Okay, hear me out. This isn't just an idea. Almost like you are the embodiment of some of the spirit of this show. Okay, well… no, no. I'm sure you have your own skill set, so you can see that it's a little bit outside the box and that's why I brought you here to the spiegeltent to talk to you because we're kind of here, this is feels like a safe place to me. We're enrobed in fabrics. And we're here just talking, just three beings talking about being, and doing, and existing. 

Because here's the thing, here's a couple of things I've learned making the show, and they keep coming up for me. One, here's the thing about being different and odd. A lot of times, you don't think you are and then you might notice when there's some dissonance and you say, “Well, I don't quite fit in,” or people, sometimes they're laughing at you, sometimes they're laughing in a way that they're like, “I'm not sure if I'm laughing at you or with you.” Sometimes you're just being yourself. I don't know. For me, I've always dealt with… I've had I've had a built-in skill set there of just being oblivious, a lot of times not even on purpose, and I think that's kind of shielded me. That's why it worked pretty well. I don't know if Bill taught me that or I learned it on my own.

And then I also have this like loner outsider part of me. And then I probably had a part of me that learned that, and then reflected it, and integrated it, and then treated other people like they're outside. So you know, amends to make. Mistakes, I've made a few, Oblong and Oddlong, but I think that's a pretty universal thing. But there's also like this friendship, this kindness, almost like parenting and loving. Loving appreciation that making the podcast or meeting other broadminded people or accepting people. They said, “Oh, okay. This is just you,” and I guess it takes time. You two are dress like school kids who might not be… I mean, who knows? I guess I never thought about if imaginary friends are a hundred percent human. I mean, you could be from one of those worlds where people exist as beams of light, timeless infinite light or something. I don't know.

It's probably why you don't talk, huh? Yup. So I guess it's kind of taught me that being odd, and being different, and being yourself… I mean, sometimes you do it, you say, “Well, I need a little tension,” or sometimes you do it because you're not feeling comfortable. But then there's sometimes it's just natural, just organic oddness. And I think Oddlong, if your game for it, we could really use an embodiment of that because sometimes it really helps to see someone as the spirit, the loving friend of our oddness. So that would be Oddlong.

You'd say, “Okay, I'm your imaginary friend here.” I mean, you're great listener, I can tell you that much. And you'd say, “Okay, well. Okay, tell me what happened.” All right, well, you like making up songs about Hello Kitty with Christmas carols, Okay, that sounds like something Scooter would do. Okay. And then some people kind of said, “Okay, well, yeah, they could see why that wouldn't be easy. And then you kind of help people leave them to realize maybe just have a safe place where they feel their feelings. But they feel like in you, you're Oddlong. There's nothing that's inherently odd about you, Oddlong. But you've been you've been odd for a long time. Maybe you are an infinite beam of odd light. I don't know if it was refraction or reflection that did it.

I'm making up a backstory for you. Maybe you're packaged like in a toy container. You're from infinite life planned. I realize you're looking at me like you're not made of infinite light, you're just imaginary friend. Okay. So it's just an idea. I mean, I think it'd be great if I traduce you listeners, which is happening right now anyway, and say, “Here's our friend, Oddlong, friend of the show.” We don't even have to say you're imaginary. I think that's a little bit… you know what I'm saying? I think you like this idea. You'll like the listeners. They'll really like you too.

Okay, and then now, Oblong, you've been listening the whole time, so it's a little bit of… it looks like you almost have the contentment blues, which is kind of maybe how you feel before. I guess you're proud of your sibling there, huh? So I'm Oblong, you're also a kind of symbol of, I don't know. I mean, I guess oblong shape is… I guess the word perfect, we don't have to use it, am I right? But you'd say oblong shape is one that's more ubiquitous, not underrepresented, but you might say you don't get the glory. They never said this is a golden age of oblong. I mean, Age of Aquarius got a song about it, right? I don't know if any of the other things did like the oblong age. I don't know. I think that one was caught off of… that was like his extra. [inaudible 00:55:52] start a song that didn't make it.

You're a shape that we're all familiar with, that we all enjoy. But I guess I always use… oh boy, everybody loves those circles, and squares, and triangles. Holy equilateral or great job on that one because we can use it for industrial purpose. But you're kind of the bridge between the shapes in nature and the shapes of remake or human creation, huh? I also might not know what oblong really means. I know what it means to me, which is kind of how my logic works. It's a circuitous… it kind of circles around. I guess everybody says our life's like a circle, but I would say it's way more oblong than that. They say it's a flat circle. I say, “Well, what do you mean? So it's only 2d?” If I'm picturing for oblong, that's like three dimensions and I guess there's probably a fourth dimension somewhere since you're an imaginary friend.

But here's one part of you where I could see your role being, Oblong, is that not everybody is thinking it fits a conventional model that's portrayed or that's almost portrayed may be in a way that's not even actually portrayed as. And I see that as in like, “Oh, you should do this,” or, “Successful people do this,” or happy people X. That's kind of something that we just integrate into ourselves. A lot of us, not everybody, probably. But that's not how it really works in the end. It's much more of an oblong thing, even those people. You'd say, “Well, that might be the exception to the rule, anyway.” You say, “well, I get out of bed, I do 50 things, and then I do some jumping jacks, and then eat my brain all.” I'd say, “Okay, well, that's interesting.”

And maybe you help us, both of you together help us appreciate those things not just in ourselves. I mean, that's part of it is self-care. But then the other party is the exact mistakes I made. I mean, if you could help me saying be focused out there and appreciating that in others, not in a way of pointing it out, in a way of letting those beams of richness impact me and letting me be open to that. I mean, I know that's heady stuff, believe me. Glide Memorial is not near where we are, but for some reason, that just popped in my head with a spirit there of acceptance and celebration. I mean, I'm not ready for that level of… I don't think our listeners would think that'd be a very bedtime conducive. 

So the thing is because we have on the podcast we have characters like Ray, and Bernie, and Scooter, and Richard Warren Sears, James Cash Penney stay in the soda machine, my nana. People that I call, mostly people that work in banks to answer phones, an imaginary silly pot, different parts of my brain bots. But we kind of don't have two people in the background there because I always talk about the safe place to the show. Almost, I don't know, not like greeters that had safe presences of the safe place that you could like embodiment, I guess that's what I'm saying. No, no, no. Yeah, the safe place will be separate, but you would be the embodiment, different than the representation of a safe place. Much more than that. 

So I don't know. How did you feel about that? That would be the roles I would be… and again, everything changes, so there could be other opportunities. But I would love to have you. Here's the other thing I could forget after this episode, but I would love to have you here anyway. So when the listeners know it's bedtime, they could keep a lookout. Like one time, you know I got gold bug, and doodle bug, and worm [inaudible 01:01:12] or whatever all mixed up. I think there's gold bug and then I thought of doodle bug who's not a character?. One day maybe it'll be a character on the podcast. You could be always there, a presence, a reassuring presence. Almost a reassuring human presence because you are humans, imaginary friends of humans, right?

Okay, well, I don't think we need to go back to the IFI. They didn't say anything about that. Because at first I didn't know if this would work out because I'm not super comfortable, you know? But I guess I'm saying welcome to Sleep with Me family and I guess since you two are kind of curled up with me on this, sleeping that you'd like the idea. So snuggled in, Oblong and Oddlong, like two puppies in my arm, under my armpits right now. So nice. Good night.