813 – My Little Undercover Pony | Adventures Dr. Triangle and Isocelces Ep 7

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary. It's time for the podcaster who's here to start a sleep wave, because there's other waves, you know, H-E-A-T waves. Maybe you're having one of those, maybe not. You know, people do the wave. I'm waving at you. I did an episode about that once. But patrons, you're the ones that kick off the sleep wave. Couldn't do it without you. Thank you so much. Let's get on with the show.

Hey, are you up all night tossing and turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. All's you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you can set aside whatever's keeping you awake, whether it's thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, so things on your mind, maybe things you're feeling, things physically that are coming up for you. Or it could be something else, you know, location, changes in schedule, travel, moving, whatever it is. I'm here to help you.

I don't want to point out too many things, but I want you to know it's normal not being able to fall asleep. And that there's a lot of other people listening that… See, this is where I don't want to be too specific, but I want you to know you're not alone. I guess that's my main message. I kind of mishandled it there, but that's what I do is… mind racing… Did I say that part? Trouble getting to sleep? What I'm going to try to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever's keeping you awake: the thoughts and feelings, physical sensations.

Yeah, so I got this safe place here set aside, plenty of space. Room for you. Here's the thing: this is not patented yet, because it's all imaginary… or it's a mood, you know. I don't know. When people say it's a mood, I think this is what I'm going for, is that this is the only safe place that has… It's glad to see you, and… I don't know. It exudes that. I mean, I'm working on the science behind that, and I say, “How do you infuse glad to see you into a safe place?” And once again, they said, “Sir, this is a large allergen particle collider or something. How'd you ever get back here?” I said, “This is memory foam. I'm trying to get…” I said, “I picked up some particles… Well, they're actually just smiley face erasers. And I'd like to run these through the particle collider and collide them with this memory foam and see if I can… “

“I'm working on this… Let me tell you about this, scientists. Grab a seat.”

“Oh, no. We're technicians, sir, and also we work here, monitoring who's coming in and out. And you're not on any list, and you have no clearance.”

“Oh, great. Well, I'm so glad you want to hear what I have to say. So, my idea is, gather around, gather around. I see more people coming in. Come on in. Could I just tell you this might be my favorite particle collider? Is it a halogen, or a halerg … Anyway. This is my large, or small, this is the best particle collider. Oh, accelerator. Or accelerator. Accelerator, collider, you do it all here. Holy cow. This is beautiful. It's even better than the one on into the Spiderverse, and I don't even know what that one was either. That was fictional though. This one is amazing. My, what you've done this space.”

“Anyway, what I was saying was is I'm trying to create a safe place infused with a welcoming energy. I guess that's what I really meant. When you go in, you feel like there's the essence of smiley erasers smiling at you. But like a real human smile. Oh, what am I talking about? You're right, I'm at the beginning of the intro of my podcast. I might as well pitch all of you, do you think I could sit in one of those carts with the steering wheel? That'd make me feel more official before … I realize it won't be … Don't worry. This isn't my first particle collider I've snuck into. I'm surprised you don't have my picture on the doorway, though I did wear this Marco face, whatever that thing's called. I don't know. I think it was Groucho Marx. I just called him Marco Marco by accident. Silly me.”

“But I was just about to tell the listeners of the podcast, I'm trying to create a safe place where you can set aside whatever's keeping you awake. What I'm going to do, on the show, what I do, and what I'll do in this collider situation here is I'm going to send my voice across the deep dark night, I use lulling, soothing, creaky dulcet tones. Pointless meanders, superfluous tangents. What else? Superfluous tangents. Repetitive gummy brain. I have a gummy … Does this collider do anything for gummy brains? I wouldn't mind having gummied brains. It'd be probably an improvement in my situation. Thanks. You're an engineer, right? Got it.”

“Where was I? I was lost. So, I'm here to keep you company as you fall asleep. I guess that's my main message. And if you're new, let me tell you a couple other things about the show. I don't know anyone here who listened to the pod – Oh, a couple of you do. Great. That's why you're all giggling. Oh, you just have the giggles? Well, if you listen to podcast, you'll have the mildest case of giggles. Your giggles will be so mild, you won't even giggle. You'll say it was an almost giggled. When I listen to Sleep With Me, I almost giggle.”

So, if you're new, here's a couple things about the show to know. Don't take me seriously. This is a bunch of nonsense. You're right. Whatever part of your brain was saying that, or whichever representative, you're saying that this is nonsense. Yeah, I'll be finishing it, but it is a little bit goofy. And the best method, if you're new, is to listen to it. Half listen. Quarter listen. Give an eighth of your listening, and then drop it down to a 16th and then a 32nd. Or just let me drift in one ear and out the other. Like the sound of my voice droning across this great collider.

The great, you know what? Where does the collider go when you shut it down? Does it go to the great collider in the sky? Anyone here at night get down and talk to the great collider in the sky, because there was a big bang, right? Something had to start it. You're taking notes. You're onto something. I maybe onto something.

Okay, so when I was kid, I thought they were just bowling up there. I didn't realize they were colliding particles. They're not. Okay, well, so, if you're new, don't take me seriously. That's one thing. But, if you're skeptical, here's the thing, I'm here to keep you company and to take your mind off stuff. So, see how it goes. Most regular listeners say it takes two or three tries to get used to the show.

Structurally, the way the podcast works is it starts off with a few minutes of business. That's how we keep the podcast free for everybody instead of behind … like as part of a paid app, or something like that. So, that's cool, and thanks everybody that helps with that. Then, there's an intro. That's what we're in now. Usually they're about 12 to 18 minutes or so. Where I kind of start to explain what the podcast is in the first two or three minutes. Then I go off topic.

Sometimes I go as far field as the greatest collider and accelerator. You don't do any colliding here. Well, I have trouble believing that. Are you sure you're not just quibbling over verbiage? Yes, I know I may be wrong. I may be right. So, now you, sir, you distracted me. Just explained me right out of an intro. Oh, so the intro, that's what it was explaining. The intro is a long, winding explanation of the podcast. But it's not a false start. It's a long drawn out start that helps you wind down. Or, some listeners fall asleep, a small percentage of listeners skip ahead to 18 or 20 minutes. So, as you start to listen, you might say, “Well, I might be the kind of person that starts the intro as I'm getting ready for bed. Or I prefer listening when I'm in bed.”

So, just see how it goes. There's people that listen when they wake up, or as they're drinking their coffee or at work. Or in the bath tub even. Have you ever placed a bathtub in this accelerator? What about an accelerated bath tub? Has anyone tried that? Even Kohl or whatever? What would it do? It would be a bath tub that's accelerating. Obviously. Can you imagine how bubbles feel when you're accelerating? Okay, we can't do it right now, but we'll put a parachute on it. Right? I'll volunteer. Yeah, you just put a parachute on the back of it. You keep taking notes.

So, that's the intro. It's like an introduction that never goes anywhere but it kind of goes somewhere. It just goes on it's own little journey, and then comes back around. Then there's some business, because that's just how podcasts work. And there's the story. Tonight it will be our ongoing episodically modular series, the Adventures of Doctor Triangle and Isosceles. Any math fans here in the great accelerator collider? Or whatever, you're renaming it, because we don't want to use collider. Is there any large scale refactors? Yep. See, there you go. Another free idea for all of you. At least for funding. It might not do anything. Oh, it'd refract. Yep. Obviously.

So, there will be a story, and that's right around 45 minutes or so. Then there's some thank yous at the end. So, that's the structure of the show. And I think I said, you don't need to listen to me. Also, there's no pressure to fall asleep. The podcast is about an hour. The reason it's about an hour is so you have plenty of time to drift off. You fall asleep when you fall asleep. I'm going to be here keeping you company until you do. But, if you can't sleep … It just happens to be tonight you can't sleep, or you can't sleep. I'm here until the very end to keep you company. I believe not only do you deserve a good night's sleep, you deserve comfort in the deep, dark night.

So, that's it. I didn't actually get a tour of this facility. But I would love to. Some places give people keys to the city. What about giving someone a key to the collider? That even is almost alliterative. A collider key. Well, it wouldn't have to work. Usually they're only symbolic. But if you had one that worked, a key to the collider, or a collider key, or both. I'll take one of each, and I'll not mention the name of this facility. I'll just accidentally mix it up with halardon, or whatever the heck. I'll get it wrong. No, I can't sign any … I was never here. Believe it or not.

I'm walking in the mist of my imagination. That's how I got here. My meander mind. Yep, you could right that down, too. Go ahead. Put it on briefing. Believe me, they've seen enough. THey're going to tell you to get in line. You don't know how many, the barrens … Have you ever crossed the Dairy Barrens or the Candy Barrens? You'll be way down on the list. I'm just being honest with you. So, it'd just be easier if you gave me that collider key.

Can you imagine that? Say, “Hey what you got? Tell me about yourself.”

“Well, I have a collider key. And a key to the collider. Yeah, I got that going for me. You're right.”

Okay, so anyway. Sorry, I got to get back to the new listeners. Excuse me. I'll be with all of you in a moment. Sorry, these lovely employees of this facility. Just all full of questions. I love it. So, if you're new listener, I'm glad you're here. Give the show a few tries. You do deserve a good night's sleep. I'd like you get one, whether it's through this show. Or if this doesn't work, check out sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou for some other options. But I really appreciate you coming by, and checking this podcast out. And I really work hard. I yearn and I strive, and I hope I can help you fall asleep. Thanks.

All right, everybody welcome to another episode of our ongoing episodically modular series Nuns … No, not Nuns in Space. Oh boy. I guess I'm in space here. THere's none nuns here. For our ongoing, episodically modular series, I guess there's a pathway in my brain I didn't even realize was there. I just discovered a new pathway.

This is our ongoing episodically modular, which means you can listen to it in any order, series, The Adventures of Dr. Triangle and Isosceles. And if you're new, or you say, “Scoots, I never listened to one of the episodes before.” Don't worry. Settle in. I'm going to tell you everything you need to know about Dr. Triangle and Isosceles. If that sounds good.

So, here, let's see … what do you need to know? So, it's a story, it's in a world without math. I think that's what Antonio Banderas will say later. SO, there's a world like ours. Actually, they live in our world. Alternate timelines, I guess. If you're being specific. And right around some point not that far from now, first it started with people lowering the priority on math. They stopped believing in math. But then right aligned with that came this goddess, Discordia. And her major belief system is, she's all about anti math. SHe's not all about math. She's about getting rid of math on Earth. Particularly this takes place in the Midwest of the United States. Or what was United States.

Also, so she was successful. Like Thanos, but she just got rid of math. I don't know if she snapped or whistled, but all of a sudden, well not 100% actually, she was able to significantly reduce the effectiveness of math and math based principles. Things relying on underlying mathematics. And, not 100%, not all math was gone. So, don't worry. Hold onto your calculators though, because there's more to come.

So, some places, where she was most effective, a calculator wouldn't work. You might not be able conceptualize simple math principles. Other places might have a little more math, but then she came … I don't think we've seen her, but I believe she's here. Or there. Working to eliminate all math and all math principles. Which you're even thinking it now, that's total chaos. I can't imagine a world without my sweet, sweet mathematics. What's life without a cosine and a sine? Talk about … there would be no poetry, because what would poets write about, right? Other than math. What else is there? Passion? What's passion … I guess I don't want to go too deep, because that's getting … whatever that band was, would they feel like making love if there wasn't any math? I don't think they would.

So, there's a world without math. Picture the middle ages. I mean, they even had math then, probably. I'm not a historian, but something like that. So, the United States have been set back that far. I think around the world, but you can't travel by plane, so you don't know. No internet. No telegraph. None of that stuff. So a world without math is a pretty simple world. But, then you say, well, what's the social structure like, Scoots? Well, that's part of our story. The United States is not United States anymore. Some places are behind a barrier, controlled by some sort of … I don't know, some systems. I don't know if it's autocratic, but it's definitely not democratic, I'll tell you that much.

How would you have a system of representation, right? Without math. You'd just have someone who says, “I'm in charge of everything. Period.” Maybe. But other parts of the US are more like city states, or just people living. We've seen both. But don't worry. You say, “This sounds bleak, Scoots.” Especially you kids. You're saying, “Whoa, boy. I don't know how I'm going to … there's no more math at school tomorrow, huh? Yep. Scoots, you got to pull things back. This is just too bleak for us. You mean no more math tests even. No more math homework either.” And tell your parents, there's taxation, I think but it's probably presented in a different manner, and much less complicated. So that's good news.

Anyway, so in this world, there's a force of good if you happen to believe that. A lot of good does depend on math. I'm not being sarcastic. Look it up. I don't even think you could have ice cream. Someone just said you probably, okay well, but I don't think you'd have the sweet, sweet flavors they come up with in labs without math, correct?

So, a goddess came, just like there's one side, there's another side. Soshat, the goddess who believes in math, and she has found two heroic figures. Dr. Triangle and Isosceles. Who, believe it or not, are traveling performers that used to do a math parody show. Or, anti math drama. She chose those two to restore the principles of math to the world. Go against the forces of Discordia. So that's our story basically. Is each episodes a procedural, with Dr. Triangle and Isosceles trying to solve something.

In the current episode, they're behind the barrier that separates the federated states, I think they're called from the rest of the United States. I think the Midwest. I think the federated states are more east. And they erected some big barrier. You know how that goes. I don't got to tell about that. But they went behind the barrier, and now they're hiding out. They had tried to resolve one principle in math, and Discordia's forces are on the look out.

So that's it. Let me give you the short version in case you're confused. A world without math. Dr. Triangle and Isosceles are trying to restore the principles of math. One or two principles at a time. So you'll be able to sleep easy knowing that math will be there tomorrow for you. In addition to a long winded recap, we also have a Hollywood performer here to set up for the show. This is the ladies, this the gentlemen, this is the boys, this is the girls, this is the friends beyond the binary. It's time. In a world without math that two heroes rise with charm bracelets and charm. They, alone, or together with people, can restore math to our world. This is the Adventures of Dr. Triangle and Isosceles. Yeah.

That was amazing. That was Mr. Antonio Banderas. I'm just silently applauding. He's leaving the studio. He's going to go lie on my bed. And we have a new game to play that I haven't even opened yet. A two player version, it's a New York city edition of Train making with Cards or something. I forgot what it's called. Tickets to train. Two player edition. Or something. So, we'll be playing that. He's smiling. And he puts on his hairnet, and now I have little booties, even though your feet don't touch my bed. I'd still like you to have those booties on that I got at a furniture store. Yep. Thank you. Thanks.

So that's Antonio Banderas, and this is the Adventures of Dr. Triangle and Isosceles.

Hello everyone, this is Ada, the mule, though you would not recognize me right now. Because I'm undercover as a pony, and we did try to make me, we put some rainbow paints in some of my mane, or whatever this thing's called, to make me look more like a pony. And then Isosceles keeps calling me My Little Pony. Keeps saying that and patting me. So that's not exactly great. But I wanted to catch up on where we are with things.

We've been laying low and biding our time, and making me into a pony. Because I got to go back to the stables. I can't stay with them the whole time. And, waiting to know … so, basically Discordia's been looking for Dr. Triangle and Isosceles. Turning over everything trying to find them. They really stirred up trouble, I guess. And, up until a little while ago, we were lying low. And the plan was to say, “Okay, well, we'll know when it's time to go. Should we go back? What does Soshat want? It wasn't clear.” Even though we're hiding out in one of Soshat's temples that … anyway, we didn't know when we were going to go, or where we were going to go, until we just got word. Well, they're talking about it. They just got the word.

I guess Dr. Triangle's about to tell Isosceles, “Okay, so, yeah, you're sitting down. The Acolytes said that some of Discordia's … the official … you have a sister and she's been … they've taken her to one of Discordia's temples, as a safe place for her with a lot of questions. You have a sister?”

“Which sister? Do you know which sister it is?”

“Wait, you have more than one sister. I didn't even know you had one sister.”

“Okay, where is she?”

“It's a couple towns away.”

“Okay, well they're just trying to draw us out of hiding. It's probably just a rumor. I can't imagine … they didn't say … do you know which sister it is? Is it Tanya?”

“It is. You're right. That's the name. What's your other sister?”

“Don't worry about my other sister.”

“Well, are we going to help her, or what are we going to do?”

“I don't think we can. I don't that Tanya would allow herself to be taken. She's a very independent sister. And, I think we just wait. They're just trying to get us there … It's a move. It's blatantly obvious. Oh, wait that Acolyte … Okay. They've also offered a reward for any hidden stashes of food and secure locations. See what did I tell you, Triangle? They're trying to flush us out, is the term.”

“Wait a second … One second, Isosceles. How serious is this … wow, that's a big reward. And that's active right now. Okay, that's not good. Those people are going to be looking for my hideouts now, too. What are we going to do if they're trying to draw us out but we have to … It's your sister, one, and I can tell by your eyes that you're just saying that. We should just keep going with our escape plan to get on the other side of the wall. I think we should just stick to that and then go back to not being here in the federated … trying to restore math outside of the federated states. Not here.”

“I don't know. I think Soshat has us … I realize that I'm supposed to be the logical one. That was a joke. I realize, but I think Soshat wants us here. Or wait a second, where was this Acolytes … they're trying to listen in on us.”

“Wait a second. How do the Acolytes travel between towns?”

“They just do it as regular people because they're underground. So that's why they wear those robes and hoods and everything. They don't know what one another look like. So when they're out there in the world traveling, they're just regular people.”

“Oh, like anonymous because I was thinking we could go, if we have to do this, we could do it as followers of … because we couldn't do it as anonymous, obviously. What about followers of Discordia? Hiding out in the open is a great idea. That's the best place to hide.”

“Yeah, by the time we got into be a follower of Discordia, we'd get it figured out. That'd take too long. They don't just take anybody there.”

“Okay, well we need some kind of distraction so we could get there. What do you think?”

“I don't know. Wait a second, could you stand up a little bit taller?”

“This is as tall as I stand.”

“Well, pull your shoulders back just a little bit. I always thought you were … I was seeing something in you, Triangle.”

“What is it?”

“Well, I never thought of you as charismatic, but that could be going along with what we're saying. No one would be looking for you as a charismatic leader.”

“How do you know that?”

“Well, you're always the foil sometimes. Or the voice of reason. But what if you became a super fan … Instead of we join … the organized Discordians. What if you became a super fan of Discordia, and I was a follower of yours? Or Discordian principles.”

“You're losing me.”

“You could be a charismatic leader of anti math, your own anti math group.”

“Wait a second. Like an underground anti math group.”

“Yeah, really into it. Really anti math, I'm saying.”

“That's so simple, but I think I see your … or, maybe it was unintentional, but so extreme anti math …”

“Yeah, people would buy into that and then we would have even more cover, because it's simplistic. This could be what Soshat wants. Because a lot of these movements … if math was on a spectrum, and you wanted to push things all the way against math, a lot of times, it's not a spectrum. It's a circle. And then you start to push around the other side. So we could actually bring people back to math, I think.”

“I don't understand what you're talking about.”

“It's kind of like … I don't know if it's a mirror, but people could start to dislike math so much, and in such an intense way, that somehow they start to absorb math qualities. Before the fall and everything, when there was the two parties, but two major identifiers, right? And sometimes people would go all the way to far side that they would go back around where they were reflecting the other far side.”

“Okay.”

“Basically, you would be a charismatic anti math leader, is what I'm saying.”

“This other stuff, you've kind of lost me. And it would create a distraction. Maybe that's what you're trying to say. My only issue is a leader usually is able to communicate things in basic terms, which you're failing to do.”

“Yeah, but if I'm so far into Discordia, I could be … my thoughts could just be totally chaotic.”

“Okay. So we'd basically be super fans … so much a fan of Discordia that we've moved past Discordia in our distaste for math.”

“Yeah, and even if what I said before didn't make any sense, it could really work for making people decide how they really feel about math when they look at our … I could come up with some pretty strong, and I'll try to keep it simple, or maybe I won't be … I think I could keep it simple. I even have another layer of ideas, but what if we, if in seeing our distaste in math, it might help people realize, ‘those two are gross. I just realized I actually like math. There's some good things about math.'”

“Okay. Yeah, also it'd just create chaos, because it would be a group that the federated states and Discordia's followers don't have control over. And if it was simple, it could be like a meme almost.”

“Yeah, we'd be battling chaos with chaos. Creating … because it couldn't be all. Or are we playing right into Discordian hands?”

“I'd ask you, is there a math principle in there we could make available to us? You're the person that plays Dr. Triangle.”

“Wait a second, there is. It's conjecture.”

“What?”

“Conditional statements.”

“What do you mean? Conjecture. Are you objecting to what I'm saying? Is that was conjecture -“

“No, if/then.”

“Okay. That doesn't sound like math at all. What if I understood what you were talking about.”

“Okay. I know you're stressed. Listen. It's okay to be stressed about your sister. Okay. We're going to get there. What I'm saying is we could we could restore the principle of conditional statements like conjecture, and then maybe, if/then statements. If we restore the principles of conjecture, then we can create more chaos.”

“It's that necessarily conditional on one another?”

“I think so, because check you charms to see if it's missing. Do you have any new charms?”

“I have something that looks like a podium.”

“I have a new charm here of someone holding up their finger, making a point. Okay. Hold the charms.”

“I can't believe these charms are so magic. Okay, hold your charms. Oh, Soshat, we call to you. We are here humbly serving you. Doing the best we can, and we call on you to restore the principles of conjecture and conditional statements, for the love of math and math principles so that we might better serve you, Soshat. Okay nothing's happening. That's probably … nothing happening yet.”

“Yeah, there's no big boss, so that means that … I can't believe those … maybe that's why these people seem so happy.”

“Are you saying -“

“Well no. I was just kind of joking.”

“Okay, so how do we test it out?”

“Okay, if the sky is blue, it must be daytime.”

“Okay. Nothing happened. Let me look outside. Quick question though, does this mean we have to tell the truth all the time like in those movies? Wasn't there ten movies where the main character had to tell the truth all the time? Is that the case?”

“No, no, no. That's the good thing about conjecture. It doesn't have to be true.”

“Well then why would we want to restore it?”

“Just trust me. This is the perfect thing for, even though I'm not charismatic, to be a charismatic leader, this fits right in.”

“All right. Okay. So, basically we'll just … we got the pony now. It is a pony. And then we'll redo the wagon into your … and we'll tour around spewing anti math principles in a conditionally stated, or whatever, however you said.”

“Yeah, there's only one more thing. I was thinking about all the moments in history that … I'd like this to be peace … even though this is extreme, I'd like it to be peaceful.”

“When was that time? Anybody …”

“In the end, it'll be for good. So if we can make it peaceful, and used pillowy soft power instead of … even though we're using this to create chaos, it's a soft chaos.”

“Never heard of the term soft chaos before. I've heard of people using soft power to help direct service and enact, empower people, and stand up for peoples' rights, and views for equality, and uplifting. I haven't heard of it to hide us … anyone using … You're talking about the great ones.”

“Yeah, Mandela, Gandhi …”

“Yeah, right. Chavez, Mother Theresa, MLK …”

“Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. So we're not exactly … Indirectly, but I want to follow, even though we're going to be using it to deceive people initially, I just want to use passive soft power.”

“Okay. Do you have any ideas of how to do that?”

“I do. Let me think about. Let's start getting ready.”

Hey everyone, Ada here. I got dressed up even more like a pony with ribbons in my tail and hair, and even painted a shade of powdery white, which made me sneeze more. And we headed off to street corners and town squares, just like if they were performing. Because they were out in the open, a couple of cosmetic changes to Dr. Triangle and Isosceles to make them look a little bit different, but Dr. Triangle started to make these, I'd guess you'd call it preaching, anti math preaching, and started to use if and then to talk about all the downsides of math. The slippery slope. A bit like the plot of Music Man, but I don't really remember the plot. Not necessarily that I remember the plot of the Music Man. And how important it was to keep the principles of math away from children.

So, he would talk, all these if/then speeches, which we'll get to, I think. Or we'll cover some of them. But they also said, “What do you do when you encounter math?” Because, these speeches were very anti math. Their presentations were very to stir people up against math. But then Dr. Triangle tried to bring it down. And then Dr. Triangle tried to bring it down, so Dr. Triangle started to teach this method, which is both fun and silly, and soft. Meaning, Dr. Triangle's goal to bring attention to math, to stop the usage of math in your presence. It was a very, very effective tool, and quickly, and people caught onto to it, because not only was it fun and relaxing. It was thrilling and soft at the same time.

And so, it almost started to drain the power. It made people want to follow the movement. Even when people were like, “I'm not exactly sure about all of this if/then speeching stuff.” But it was something anyone could apply anywhere at almost any time. All it was, it was called the Kerr method. I guess Dr. Triangle had observed this other preacher when Dr. Triangle was in university. Named the Great Kerr. That's KERR, not CUR. And what he would do was just lie down in the presence of resistance. It was a form of resisting. And calling attention to things. And so, Dr. Triangle taught the Kerr Method. Which was simply, if you see someone using math, or you're outside of an institution where you believe math is being used, even though Discordia claims it's supposed to be an anti math society, all you do is lay completely down. On your back. So you can look up with your eyes and make eye contact. Also you say, “No, thank you.”

And any time, especially an authority figure, or the person using the math that you've seen, you lay down and then say, “No, thank you.” And you could say what they're doing. “No thank you. You're using addition or subtraction. No thank you.” Or if they say you got to get up or this is official Discordian event, you just say, “No thank you. I don't want any part of your usage of math.”

And this caught, because one, it's hard to argue with. It's also, when someone's perfectly flat and politely saying, “No, thank you,” it's very hard to deal with. It's very disarming and contagious. That's the other thing. If you see someone lying down, you lie down and say, “no, thank you.” So it's a symbol to other people that started following Dr. Triangle, who is not going by Dr. Triangle, by the way, he was going by Dr. Conjecture. Oh no. Dr. Triangle was going by Dr. Conjecture.

So when people would lie down, it caught on. It wasn't viral in the sense that … but it was easy to say, “I also don't want math being used here.” So people started doing it more and more. If you're on the other side of it, it can be a little bit frustrating and chaotic, because you say, “Can you get off my floor? This is my store. I got other customers.” You say, “No, thank you. I'll stay here.” And they say, “Well I'll stay here until you're finished using math, or you promise to stop using math, and then I'll come back.”

If they promise say, “Well, I'll be back tomorrow to see if you're using math again, and I'll lie down.”

So it was the persistent use of this at all times that really started to catch on, because what are you going to do? They're lying calmly on the ground. It'd be outrageous to try and move them, and reasoning with them is tough. Especially when it's a very all or nothing thing. Saying, “No, thank you. When you stop using math, I'll get up and go.”

So, it really started to work. It really started to catch on, and then Dr. Conjecture started making more and more speeches and really pushing it. Hoping to push people to math reasonableness. But people also really felt, I think there was this underlying feeling of dis empowerment, and so suddenly they had this sense of personal power. Now it's misdirected in an extreme anti math way. But they caught on lying down and saying no to math.

Now, what I know, and Dr. Triangle doesn't know is that it also stirred some lower level subconscious appreciation of math. Seeing how it is ubiquitous even in the anti math society. And so it was terribly ineffective at other than causing chaos and getting on everybody's nerves, and getting more and more followers for Dr. Conjecture, it wasn't immediately effective. But I just wanted to let you know that people are reasonable. They just take some time to incubate.

So Dr. Conjecture … the if/then model was very effective because it couldn't be proven wrong or argued with. So, Dr. Conjecture would say, “If there's rungs on a ladder, then it must be math. If there's square in the stones, or the masons, then it must be math.”

And then it got to the point where people would just say “If” and the “then” would be them lying down. So they wouldn't even need to explain that if the sky is blue, then it must be math was not even said. People would just lie down. And they'd say, “No thank you. I'll get up when the sky's not blue anymore.”

They were doing to more to control other people. And it was really this all or nothing thing, but at the time, at least in this few months that we're talking about, it was temporarily fulfilling because you got a thrill from lying down. It was comfortable. You got to get people to change. And this whole idea of inductive reasoning and disproving conjectures that also goes along with these principles of math, it does need some subtlety, but when it's looked at in a basic way like this, it does tend to trigger this all or nothing response. Because you could also just say, “There's not a lot of nuance.” And that what Dr. Conjecture was going for.

But at some point they did start to get nervous because they were starting to get the attention of Discordia. Caught on after a few months, as they were working their way towards the city where Isosceles' sister was. There started to be this rumor that Discordians were going to ban if/then, and that that was a math term. And they had to take their rewards to find, now most math books, obviously, were gone in the math purge. But Discodrians, to turn the attention away from looking for Dr. Triangle's hidden stashes to looking for math books that had the principles of conjecture in them. Maybe they had some stored somewhere. I don't know.

Let me get to their conversation. They're having one right now.

“This has gone too well. There's too many people following us now, and this is what Soshat would have wanted. We've, in a few short months, we may have damaged math worse than in the past 30 years with a goddess. The power of if then conditional statements that aren't true. I didn't realize if you combine the lies and soft power, what a damage you could do.”

“Okay. Okay. I think it's just temporary. I think you're giving yourself too much credit.”

“Well, if they ban if/then, I think we just created too much chaos.”

“Okay, okay. I've been observing things and I think you're right in your initial assessment, but I think we have to lean into our jobs. Like you said when we started, why would Soshat have put us in this situation and restored these principles, unless it wouldn't have worked unless it was supposed to work, right? The tools we need to accomplish this mission are here.”

“Well, I guess in some sense this is impeding Discordia's … well, wait a second. Is there anyone to speak for this … the reasonable side of things? That's what I don't see.”

“Right, because it's an all or nothing thing. And I've been thinking about this, and I have a plan too with my sister. I don't need to see my sister, because like I said, Tanya's her own person. She's very strong, and at first I didn't want to see her. But now I have an idea, and it'll take care of everything.”

“What's that idea? How are we going to help your sister and undo this mess we've made? At least to release some of the tension, right? I just don't want to … I want to keep the power soft.”

“I know what you're saying. I know exactly how to fix it, so don't worry. So we'll tell my sister we're going to go there, my sister will recognize me but won't say anything. I will act like I'm your silent assistant as I've been acting while you make your if/then speeches. And we'll just tell them, we just want to go in and talk to the people you have here for safe keeping, and make a presentation about why Discordia is great, and we'll soften the messaging. It's going to take us two weeks to get there. But once my sister sees me, and realizes that I stand for anti math, even further anti math than Discordia, and she sees me wearing this shirt that says, “If/Then” you know the shirts we made with the person lying down. If then lie down. Once she sees that she'll be against all of it. Like conjecture … she's contrarian. And very intelligent.

So either she'll just react, and she'll say, “oh, that's my brother, I believe, trying to convert me to some ridiculous thing.” Either she'll realize the brilliance in our plan, or she'll just be against it anyway. Either way. Also, she's very charismatic.”

“Okay, I think I understand what you're saying. If we present this to your sister, then she'll figure it out for us.”

“More or less.”

Hey, it's Ada here. So that's what happened. They traveled eventually to the town. They tried to get themselves a little bit more aligned with Discordia. Even though, obviously Discordian officials, especially those that used math on the DL when they needed to, or that said ladder and math don't have anything to do with one another, or now you're using a technicality and it's not exactly math. Physics is more science. Those kind of things. They tried to take their tone a little bit more reasonable.

But their followers were still, already having this moment of “What did we get ourselves into? But I do like lying down and saying, ‘No, thank you.'” And so they reached the place of safe keeping, and for the privacy of Isosceles' sister, I'll just retell it to you. But they went there and they got the permission to say, “Oh, this is why Discordia's great. Maybe you're here for safekeeping because you don't believe in Discordia, and to be grateful for the chaos and all those things. And to serve Discordia. And we do need to work together to remove all math principles from our world.”

At this point Dr. Conjecture said, “Well this is the sensibility side, and we're the emotional side. We're the more impulsive side of Discordia. And so when you see these things, you need to lie down and say, ‘No, thank you.' And yeah, we got a reputation for being a little bit too on the far edges of chaos and anti math, but we're trying to bring it back down.”

And Tanya quickly realized saw the folly in all of it. But also saw the opportunity, and also saw it in the eyes of the people that said, “Well, there's part of this. I like being a part of something. And I like that feeling of power, but I know I need math. Somewhere in my heart of hearts. I know I need some math.” So she quickly, from within the thing, started to build her own, much quieter, even softer softer power where they would not only just lie down, sometimes her followers, when they see people using absurdist logic, or conjecture without honesty, without truth behind it, they would do something where they would lean down.

They would sit down and they would lean back and pretend they were patting a cat or a small puppy or something. And they would say, “Is that really true?” And so, this started this thing, and this one quickly, one feels good. Didn't it feel good to lie down? Feels even better to lie and imaginarily pet an animal. Two, things falling on the side of the truth, especially when you come from a place where you're like, “Oh, I wasn't seeing things. I was wrong, and now I see this a little bit.” Really caught on very fast. And also everybody said it in a sly way, and you wouldn't stay until you got on their nerves. You would just stay in a sly way, pet the pet, and then get up and go. Like you were planting a seed.

But, obviously, and this was all happening, I'm just giving you an accelerated timeline. But eventually Tanya and her followers, as they quickly quickly grew, wanted to connect with the majority of Soshat's followers on the other side of the barrier. But she was also wanted to … she had her followers, as Dr. Triangle and Isosceles were trying to slink out of the area, and get beyond the barrier, on the DL. She had her followers say, “Hey, why don't you come with us?” She had them take, her followers borrowed Dr. Triangle, Isosceles, and myself, Ada, and our wagon. And she placed us in an undisclosed location outside of the barrier for safe keeping, and that's where I'm resting tonight. I got plenty of hay. I don't have to be a pony anymore. I'm just Ada the mule, and so everyone's resting now, and I'm going to rest too. Good night.