777 – Magical Mallwalking Tours

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary, my patron peeps that keep this show going, it's time for the podcast. Patrons, it's here to wash those thoughts right out of your hair. Even thoughts like how … what the heck is the deal with washing your hair? What's the schedule with that? It's time for Sleep With Me, patrons, a podcast to put you to sleep. Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep? Well welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do with a bedtime story. All you need to do is get in bed, turn off the lights, and press play. I'm going to do the rest.

What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you can set aside whatever's keeping you awake, whether it's the thoughts, the feelings, a physical sensations, changes in time or temperature, whatever's got you. Your work schedule, whatever it is, I'd like to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff while you fall asleep. If you're new, welcome. I'm glad you're here. What I'm going to do is I'm going to send my voice across the deep dark night. I'm going to use the lulling, soothing [inaudible 00:01:22] tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, oh boy. Like I don't even know how long I'll be on topic or off topic. But I'll be here. I'll be here to keep you company. And if you're new, here's a couple like … let's see. Here's a couple of things to know. If you're skeptical, glad you are. This podcast is a little bit different. It takes some getting used to. I'm glad you're here and I'm here to help you drift off.

So if you're new, I was going to try to … oh first off, the podcast doesn't always make a whole lot of sense. And it takes a while to get started. It takes a while for me even going to get to a point, it takes a while for me to get to a point. And the podcast is a lot of filler. Like the best kind of filler, though. You say, “Oh, this is a fill her up with filler words.” And I'd say, “I sure will. I will put as many filler words in here as I can.” Ums, ahs, and actual words that I'm doing in a manner that just to be filler words. That was an example, tada. I just landed like a gymnast or an ice skater. I just demonstrated my use of filler words. But so … oh if you're new, it's a little … this podcast is a little bit silly. Structurally what to expect is the show starts off with a few minutes of business. That's how we keep the show free and open to everybody. So that's great.

Then there's an intro. This is where if you're new it could throw you off. The intro of the show is actually a part of the show in actually like a part of putting people to sleep. But it does take 12 to 14 minutes, but there's different use cases. That's part of what the intro is. You've got your new user that might be you, welcome. You've got your regular long term users, hey what's up? How are you doing? You have people that are getting ready for bed. You're brushing technique is excellent and wow are you good at petting pets. There's people that listen as part of their wind down when they're already in bed. Hey, snuggle in, get comfy, what's up? Don't worry, I'm just here auditorily. There's people that listen during the day to calm down. Yeah, it's tough out there being human, for sure. There's a few small percentage of people that skip ahead to 18 or 20 minutes to the story. Hey, I guess you're not hearing this. But you know don't always skip ahead to the story because you kind of miss out on me talking about stuff. But you can.

I think that's all … I mean, there's other use cases, but those are the ones I wanted to tell you about. That's why this show has a long intro. Mostly because I know it takes a little bit of like … wind down is part routine and this intro is kind of like a routine within a routine. It's a routine meant to be part of your bedtime routine. And did I mention it's full of filler words? Because I was really … that's when I was on point, when I was making those filler word jokes. If I had a dump truck full of filler words, I'd have it right here for you. Okay, so that's the intro.

Then there's a bedtime story and there's business between the intro and the story. And at the end of the show are some thank yous. So that's structurally what to expect and it's a podcast … at first, it can be a tough proposal. Because you say, “Okay, like this is supposed to put me to sleep. What's he talking about?” Well, like, no pressure to listen. You know I'm talking so you don't need to listen to me. It's kind of like … talking to be here while you fall asleep, to keep you company. But there's also no pressure to fall asleep. The reason I'm here for an hour, the episodes are over an hour, is I'm here to keep you company. And just in case you can't drift off, I'm here all the way to the end. I take this podcast very seriously even though it's a little bit of a nonsensical. So that's like … I guess that's the structure of the show. That's what to expect. No pressure on you, no pressure to fall asleep, no pressure to listen.

And I'm always trying to look for ways to be more mindful. And this is just something I wanted to share you know and also something that caught my curiosity. I said … I've been saying to myself, “Scooch, you've got to be more mindful in the future because, oh boy, in the past we just haven't been mindful. And how are we going to be mindful later when we get to that later point when we have plenty of space to be mindful?” And eventually I said, “Okay, well, here's one thing I know I do everyday is to walk the dog. I take [Koho 00:06:43] for a walk and sometimes I listen to podcasts during that walk. But I said, “What if I try to be mindful at that time?” And then this isn't something that happened instantly. I said, “What's this.” Other than cleaning up and you know … I said, “If I can smell all the smells she's smelling, maybe I would be mindful. But the only smell I can smell is this bag I'm carrying around, even though it was supposed to be … it's tied up and everything.”

So then I said, “Well let's see. Let's pay attention to the trees. You said something good.” And then I said, “What else could I pay attention to that would keep me in the moment, that also in a non pressure way. Kind of like this. I said, “Well I don't want to be should mindful. You know I don't know if that's a term. Maybe that can be a chapter in a book. Should mindful. Because when I do that, I just feel like the SH part, which other words than ould. Like why do I have to … you know, I think you know what I mean. If you're listening to this podcast. I'd like to be, you know ideally I'd like to be … you know ideally one day I'll be organically mindful. And that definitely could be a chapter in a book. But I mean currently a lot of times I'm a different kind of organically mindful. Like I have mindfulness compost, which and that could be a whole other topic for me to go off on.

But one thing I found was walking around, looking for TV antennas. Now some of you know what a TV antenna is on a house or an apartment building. Some of you don't. Like once upon a time but you've got TVs with these antennas and they were pretty big and they would be on the roofs and stuff. I don't know if we ever had if I lived somewhere with a TV antenna on the roof. But I'm not sure. I'd have to talk to my parents and stuff. But it used to be you took a big antenna to get the TV signals. I don't know why. I guess I can do the research why. And then you know people started watching TV on cable and then they had dish television services, which you still see those. Those aren't as ubiquitous as … they were never as big as antennas.

But so anyway, these antennas, they're very interesting to look at. And as soon as you notice them, one, you say, “Well there's still houses that have antennas. I'm surprised.” And then you start to wonder when you go around a corner, “Am I going to see a house with any antenna? What is it, one out of every twenty houses? One out of every thirty? One out of every ten?” Then you notice houses with the dishes on there. But every antenna, I don't like I guess this is a loaded word, like I said … like every antenna seems to be somewhat unique. I mean, I know that wasn't always the case. And they're a bit like weather vanes. I don't know, to me they're bird like. They stand regally, you know, because they're there to collect something in the air. I don't know. I really, like, what would things sleep podcasters say for I really like looking at TV antennas on buildings? And what can I say? I guess I'm destined to be a sleep podcaster.

But it may help you to be mindful, because most of the time I'm not … you know my mind is going forward and backwards, anticipating, regretting, predicting, whatever. I'm trying to find ways to ground myself. Now, I don't know if this is technically mindfulness or not. But i will say it's observing things in the moment that I enjoy in a peculiar … you know in a way, I said, “Well that's peculiar.” Or is anybody using their TV antennae? And do those even collect digital signals? I think that's a legitimate question. And if so, like, what kind of … I mean, that's got to get some pretty good fidelity. So just some things I think about and I don't know … that you could try if you're out walking or walking your dog, take a look around for TV antennas. And if you're wherever you are in the world, let me know about your TV antennas. Maybe even share on Instagram or Twitter some TV antenna picks. And especially if you're a younger person and you say, “Well these things … that was news to me.” I always though you know those were … like what did you think they were? Especially when you were a kid. You know that's interesting.

So anyway. I mean and again it'd be interesting to see what they'd say well are those some sort of sculpture? Like those are modern day gargoyles. And maybe like somebody observing us from another planet that's also young. Somehow they have great technology, but they weren't here for the TV antenna age. The OTA they call it, over the air. And you can still watch TV that way. Maybe I'll hook up my TV antenna if I could find it. It doesn't go on the roof. It's always a good way to … it can be really fun. And I don't know if I'll be able to find a what do you call it remote either. But anyway, it's something I'll think about.

But what was I going to say? Here's the thing. I make this show to take your mind off stuff and to keep you company while you drift off. And I work very hard. Now this podcast doesn't work for everybody, as I said, but give it a few tries. That's what most reviewers say. They say, “Well it took a couple tries and then I realized it doesn't make a lot of sense and I kind of … then I started falling asleep.” I really truly believe you deserve a good nights sleep. And I'm here to help. Thank you for coming by. I work very hard and I strive to help you fall asleep. And here's a couple ways we keep this show going.

Well hello, welcome to Magical Mall Walking Tours. I'm so glad to have you here. I'm Marcel. Hopefully I'll be your muse but I'm really just your tour guide for now. I'll be taking you through the mall. We have a very special mall. And I know people get these as these indirect gifts since they're magically. And some people might say, “Well how did I end up here?” Well I'm a mall walker. Let me tell you a little bit about me. I've been mall walking since I could walk. I learned to walk in a shopping mall and that's just the truth. They said, like, my mother she was able to … she was one of those people that was able to enjoy the mall … like she was a mall walker. She could go to the mall and if she wanted to spend nothing, she could spend nothing. If she said, “Well I'm allotting myself three dollars.” Or, “I'm purchasing this.” Or she also did a lot of research. She worked at the mall and that's …

So those are ways I learned to walk at the mall. And actually nowadays, not to go on a tangent or anything, but when I was young one of the big features was … now these were single story malls a lot of the time. So the center thing was usually reserved for something that was at a child learning … like it was at the butt level for people to sit on. And usually there was fountains or plants in the middle dividing the traffic between two … not technically two directions, although people did tend to walk in a directional way. And you may ask Marcel, “How do you know … do people walk north south east west or more?” And I'd say, “Well I don't know, this is the magical mall walking tour.” Those are good questions and I wish I had the answers to those. I mean, I know at the theme parks they have those spoke and wheel or whatever they're called. And I think most people do go clockwise. So I hear lefthanded people in the other … you know a lot of people go counter clockwise. I don't know if they consider themselves part of the counter clockwise culture or not.

But I just wanted you to know that I've learned to walk in the mall and I've found it to be a pastime that again has gone through a lot of different changes. And obviously you're here, you're not … you're a very hip person, seems to me. And you're here on one of these cutting edge tours that part of the great totem tours. The great company … it was started, believe it or not, by a sleep podcaster. All the way back in 20 … not the aughts, whatever came after the aughts. And he started the totem tours and really unlocked like a lot of different opportunities for a lot of different people including you today. And we have that person to thank, even though we forget. We forget who it was, because he wrote a lot of this stuff down just on scraps of paper. But we do know he made a sleep podcast and fell into obscurity. But the great news is he started this tour ability for us, so really we're thankful. And I think he's thankful to be obscure, to be honest. I think … maybe he dove into obscurity.

Oh but we're here. Now you're in for a special treat, because we're going on a … now let me just check my … yes the year … now we're good. This is one of our newest tours and you're really, really in for a treat here. I hope you can see the mall and this is one of these new totem malls that is run by that is like … at the center piece is a carousel. And the year, you know, of the malls existence was 1991. But of course from our patented methods, it exists now you know within the ether sphere but oh boy, this mall was once … just had a simple … not just a simple, oh boy what am I doing? I'm really … I'm just trying to set you up for joy. But the mall, once upon a time, just had a regular carousel … no, not a regular carousel. Beautiful PTC carousel. Philadelphia Toboggan Company, which later would become Philadelphia Toboggan Coasters. And it featured one of their restored carousels as the center piece.

Now in our version, each store that we will visit contracts with one of the carousel beings. And now the carousel is no longer static. That is a resting place in where the carousel beings go to recharge. But they come down and you know they're kind of … they help guide people to the store. I don't know if they're sales person or greeters I would say more than sales people. Or sales beings. And we're going to take this one like … here comes the horse right now. And this horse here … oh look at this regal horse. You are gorgeous. Is that a canteen on your side? Now this carousel horse, you look you're cut out for a journey. That oh boy, so we can get on the back of this horse. See this horse has a beautiful … I guess I'd say … you know, you're … I know this is a leather saddle, but the color of this leather saddle looks like the same color as the statue of liberty. I hope you don't mind me saying that. It's beautiful.

Oh your mane, even though it's silent because you're a carousel horse. And I like how your reins kind of match. And do you mind me complimenting you on the gold details on your reins? And how your reins kind of match that oxidized copper look. It is really … and you have nice locks. Really, your mane is beautiful. You are a beautiful horse and you are kind of … you know I never learned what people call horse colors. I think someone said don't look a horse feather in the mouth. Someone once told me that and I said, “What's a horse feather? And why would you look it in the mouth?” And they said. But you have kind of an off white coat with a lot of black and gray detail. And even some deep brown around … is that a muzzle? Anyway, this is my guest here. We're here with Magical Mall Walking Tours.

And actually I know it's a paradox. You could ride on the horse or walk with it. A lot of people find it very calming walking next to the horse, hold its reins. And this horse also has a canteen. Are we allowed to drink from the canteen? Okay. And where are we headed? Oh, of course, American Eagle. That was a store … I wonder if it exists in the current time … you know different … outside of the ether verse. Now American Eagle was a store that you could look around in but mostly we're just … I didn't want to tell you this, horse. Mostly we're just looking. Just like my mother had taught me. Walk the mall. Take the mall in. Observe. But this American Eagle, at times it's been called American Eagle Outfitters. And I can see why they chose you as the representative. And we will … normally, also, sometimes the horses represent more than one or two stores. So hopefully … I don't know, but I know you're taking us here first.

But this American Eagle, it has … it's mostly clothes you would like if you're an inspiring person that wants to aspire with the image of being an outdoors person. Or you want some sort of like … and this isn't meant as a negative thing, but let's take a few steps away from the stores entrance so they can't hear me say this. For ruggedness, I think this is where you would shop. Although I'm told sometimes there's great deals in here. So if you're looking for something, say, in that range or … it's really good to check their clearance racks, as you never know what you're going to find. And you know you could get denim here. I prefer another place for denim. I don't know if we'll visit it, if we'd be so lucky.

But oh boy, was that a nice … thank you so much. Okay, what's our next stop? It's, oh look at this. Babbages is the name of the store. Now this is my first time visiting this timeline in mall in the ether sphere, too. But that is an interesting … wow, that is a like a … yeah that certainly is … I think they sell … I can't. I don't know if … are those CDs or tapes or records in there? Oh okay, well it seems like it's a record store maybe. Yeah, I also wanted to show you these palm fronds. This is what I was kind of talking about, where I would learn to walk. Now these giant planters with giant palm fronds, they're really good for holding and circling for a kid, maybe in a toddler range.

And again, at low traffic mall times when mall walking is hot, and you know I think 1991 we're post peak. We're getting ready for the new peak of mall walking, I imagine. But you know I could have been spinning around on one of these planters. And this is kind of like a … I'd say this is an egg shell colored planter. This particular mall has a lot of egg shell and a lot of turquoise or sea green. I like that usage of the word. You're right, it is like a sea green color. Oh no, it looks like that horse ran off. Okay, well that was good. Thank you. We'll just stay here until another horse approaches.

Okay, look at the hair … that horse has like a … look at the hair on that horse as it comes towards us. It looks like if Elvis shook Elvis' hair out, wow. That is … you look like something … hello, hello. Yeah, we're here on the mall walking tour. Before we get to your stores, I just wanted you to know that you look like if there was … you look like the front of a romance novel, like maybe Fabio or someone shirtless could be riding you but most attention would go to you with the way your locks are arranged. Now, is that a trumpet you're holding in the side of your saddle? That is … so this is a trumpet horse, a very famous known … I like how it is, it has these two gold chords with tassels. I myself, I consider myself a tassel fan and so really good to meet you. Where are headed? Are we headed somewhere interesting?

Oh, we're headed to the corners. This is funny because it's two different corners. I know the look in your eye. Now there is Caramel Corner and believe it or not, these was peak … now this 90s, I think I've heard people talk about it before. This was peak caramel corn … this was before popcorn was a health food. So people didn't even realize it but this was peak caramel corn. So there's actually … I believe there's two caramel corn places. Oh no, there's just on. Okay, well, that's … because I … no, I think there's another one maybe with a K. But you only represent one caramel corn. Well this is Caramel Corner. Now don't … they don't just stop at caramel corn. No, they have caramel … oh yeah, that's caramel. Caramel Corner and Karamel Corner, it's a different usage of alliteration. And you actually are a caramel color, horsey poo. Caramel and Karamel.

But you can get caramel apples and caramel corn and it looks like they have taffys and things. And they also have other flavors of corns. And this is PKC … PKE. Pre kettle corn era. So this is when caramel corn ruled and strawberry corns and so yeah, that's an interesting … thanks for taking us here. What other … oh, Casual Corner. Oh boy, this is a corner store, chain, that you go to when you wanted to get something casual. And I would wonder if that was a limiting thing if they're … like they always have to be in a corner? Though there's a lot of corners in malls and now here's the thing. Now this is always a decision. You know the two of us, since you work in a mall, Caramel … sorry, I just thought I'd called you that. But … Caramel Poo? How about that? Okay, you like that. I like the way … did you just bray? Oh wow.

So that's Casual Corner. If you're looking for something casual nor just non formal, you would go to Casual Corner. I've never been inside but I was thinking, when you're mall walking, you do use corners to kind of break up the monotony. So malls like this that have multiple corners where yeah, a corner just got down you know to four stores. And these kind of corner, like, alleys, like this one here, can be a bit of a ghost town. This is where you'll get your barbers. And a nail spot here and a coffee place. And some places will have … this is where they tuck away little pubs. And then you can exit out that way. But really if you're looking for casual clothes, that would be a place to go.

Now this next place that you're taking us, Caramel, you must have a theme. A Chew Chews, with a C-H-E-W. So this is a gum store. Wow, it's a gum and … okay. Interesting. So all the gums of the world would be here, waiting for us to unlock and taste. Really great. So it's a gum shop. Those are always I guess it's a place where you could get gum. And you'd say, “Okay thank goodness.” Looks like Caramel is running off. Here comes another horse. Now look underneath that horse is … this horse … hello, hello. Now you really are … you look like a wild … not a wild horse, but you have a wild look. Like Wild Bill Cody or somebody should be riding you. Oh that's two different people. Thanks, well thanks for letting me know. Because you have … looks like you have a lot of layers underneath your saddle. That probably works well for everybody.

It looks like you have some sort of leather layer and then some sort of other poofy layer. And it has nice frillies coming off. And you have a canteen as well. Could we drink out of your canteen? I'm … thank you, thank you. It's just … oh wow, this is … is this caramel water? Oh, you got it at Caramel Corner. So you do go shopping at other horses stores? Yeah, professional courtesy. I like that. I like that a lot. You know the other two horses before you, I didn't notice their tails. But I can't keep my eyes off of your tail and your hair. I would ask if you do like … and I guess we'll have a laugh about this. I said, “Do you dye your hair?” Because I'm not sure if I could label it … it's not strawberry blonde. It's kind of a rusty blonde or blonde with rusty highlights. And it's really a full look. Would you ever use V05 Hot Oil in your hair?

Yeah and I do also like how you're always in mid jump. I don't know how you do that without it seeming like you're pacing or something. It's just a look, I guess, you have. Well right, right. Let's get to your stores. Where are we headed first? Well BK … well, I know you represent them but we can skip that. What's this next … oh Chess King. Now this was a store I never knew what they sold there. I can remember seeing this with my mother when I was learning to walk and it would make sense it would be represented by a horse. When I think of it, I think of a place that you walk by that sells sleek turtlenecks. But I don't know … like I've never gone in there. You're welcome to go in there and see … like I'd say, to me it seems like the kind of outfit you would start at Chess King and you'd finish at Wilson Leather to get a complete outfit. But I'm not positive about that at all.

Here's … oh you can smell it before we get there. THere's the Cinnabon. For me, Cinnabon is always changed now, since I just picture a Saul like working there. But you know I guess it depends on what kind of TV shows you watch. Well here's a nice store, Complete Athletes. Thanks for bringing … I mean, you really are an athletic horse. Yeah, it's a really interesting looking … interesting, you can get vitamins, you can get shoes there. Really for the complete athlete, a lot of spandex huh? Yeah, no … I would say do the people shop here and at Chess King? Because you could wear some of this stuff under your turtleneck if you've got it.

Okay, next is … okay, this might be confusing to you. So this store here, now these used to be in the parking lot. They would be a little bit of a camera in a parking lot, where you could get your photos developed before … this was, now, your era … you live in the beyond the digitized … no, you live in the ether era. But it used to be you'd take your pictures on film, and I know that there's different nostalgia and quality of the image movement and just a fun, tactile enjoyment in the discovery of film. But it was at a point back here that it was so ubiquitous that you would just bring your film into one of these shops. They could sell film in cameras, they could do different you know kind of developing of your film. But you would come here and get your pictures developed and that was it. So really this is …

Oh here's a question. Have we been to this store before? Because it's called Deja Vu. Yeah, I don't know. It's a … it looks like a mysterious store. It has those bead curtains in front of it and I wouldn't know what to expected there. Oh, it says they can do tarot readings, so that's cool. And I think you could probably buy … I can smell some incense coming out of there. But I really don't know what else they would sell there. And this one's at a corner thing. There's also a dentist's office down here. Now I never knew anybody that had their dentist at the mall. And that would always seem like a tough place, because you would … I can imagine, what if you went to the Caramel Corner after you went to the dentist? Or before, gosh forbid. Or if you were the dentist and your … I guess you'd get sick of the smell of the sweet, sweet caramel corn. But what if … that could be … oh the horse is running off. I guess that was it for that horse.

Oh, now this next horse is … this is, that is a beautiful horse. Do you know what dapple means? Because I don't, but this horse is a white and gray and some white spots. You look … hello, hello. You look a bit like a triton-esque. Like you've climbed out of the sea. You have a bold, bold sea foam or turquoise blue … that is beautiful. Oh like you're out of an icy north, because you do have that strange carving on the back, behind your saddle. It looks like some sort of northern sea deity from the icy seas, part fish and part wind. Windy tongue, furry nose, a brow made out of the waves of the sea, silver and turquoise fish fins, and your saddle is that beautiful icy blue. And you really are … you're regal. Do you mind me saying that? You're one regal horse.

What's our next stop here? Oh Diet Swirl. Oh, what do they sell there? Diet swirly things? Oh there's an optometrist. That's another good place to go for optometry. And okay, oh this place … this is a milestone one here. This is the Earing Tree and this is like a lot of kid's first stop to get their ears, you know, ready for formal earrings. You know what I mean? Yes, the Earing Tree. I do … you're right, I never saw anything tree about it. Maybe at one point they had a tree of earrings, but then how would you get the ones on top? I mean, they have a lot of earrings displayed and on the display cases. Oh hello … no, no ear … our ears are just fine. Yours must be ringing because we're talking about your shop. How are you doing? No, we're just mall walking, thank you. Yep, no, we've got our horse-scort. That's short for horse escorts. Yeah, thank you. Thanks … no, no. Oh, the horse is supposed to bring us in? No, we're just mall walking. Oh, you see, when people sigh then you say, “Well, I'm never coming to Earing Tree then for sure.”

Okay, here's a couple of good ones. This one is Economy Book and Stationery. And this is one where you say, a lot of times mom would say, “You don't go to the mall and get a bargain unless you're looking.” And I think this place at least if it's properly called, it's a good deal. Like you could get a lot of stationery that's their brand or unbranded as opposed to the Great Stationery … you know, the Great Stationery barons of our day. Oh you might not know … I mean, I'm sure you do because you live you know as totem as expanded, so has the great tactile movement of being more tactile. So I know bonded paper is back in. That same sleep podcaster, he was the first podcaster to represent a bed made with layers of bonded paper. And it didn't last very long but I think he sold quite a few, because people said, “Well this is interesting. One layer of my bed is you know bonded paper. It really feels different than any other bed I've ever been in.” And I think he even had bonded paper sheets. And it was a new way to get a monogram when you had a water mark, like, wow.

But so this is … stationery, where people send letters, they write letters, they write things on paper. And they also have a lot of good books deals. Another place that could be a deal, Everything's A Dollar. Now this was one of the like … you know there's been a lot of these incarnations of 99 cent and dollar stores peaking in the same time as that podcaster in a different way, where they would become main stores. This time, they were more not to buy novelties but a novelty. And a lot of the stuff was … everything was a dollar, though. So it was kind of fun.

Now this is a funny place, Fanny Farmer. It just makes me laugh. Thank you for taking us there, ice horse. Do you mind if I pat your rump? Just … yeah, you do like that. It just, yeah, to say good job. Oh, that's your flank. Thank you, thanks. I did not … I didn't know if there was a difference, but yeah. Fanny Farmer, that's what this is called here. And I don't even know what they sell. I think it might be like Hickory Farms but I'm not sure. We'll find out if there's also a Hickory Farms. I think there was a time in the 90s where this were the only places you could get cheese and summer sausage, at least for free. Like no thanks, we don't need any samples. Good to see you. Is Fanny in? Oh, that's funny because did you know a horse's fanny is called a flank? Yeah? Okay, thank you. Thank you so much.

Now down the hall is one of the anchor tenants here, [Fase 00:41:04] Drugs. And that's like … just like continues to be a place where you could just about buy anything. You go to get your prescription filled but then also it's like a miniature supermarket and even like a miniature … you know they have these drugs stores, still, where you say, “What else am I going to get?” Then there's … oh, this is a restaurant, Flaming Wok, if you like wok based food. They make it with a flaming wok, where you can watch it right in the window there. Really exciting things. Looks delicious. Yeah, this mall does not have a food court. Maybe it does have a smaller one that I'm not aware of, but yeah. So that's the Flaming Wok. There's Footlocker. Yeah, oh but thank you. So you must be in charge of the Fs, huh? Yeah, that's a Footlocker. That's a place … they dress like referees, it just sells shoes and sneakers.

And this place is called Freshens Yogurt. Now that's … it's a frozen soft server, yeah, yogurt. Frozen … Fro-Yo. Yeah and the nice thing is they make their own waffle cones, so it smells very nice, it does. But yeah, it does kind of create like what you're saying. So, oh, the horse is gone. Thank you, thank you for your time. Oh wow, look at this horse coming now. This one looks like it could be from one of those movies. You are a stallion. I notice your hair is much more trimmed in a professional manner. You have some midnights, some blues, some grays, and then you really have a formal wear. You have some gilded wings on your … it's almost like you're wearing armor but not quite. Really beautiful those wings and you have your saddle, but then you have what looks like scale, like scaled armor underneath it. Oh and even your wings, I didn't see that. Excuse me. Your wings have a face. It's a frowny face, but I think it's a face that says you don't walk a mall, you know, just shop. Yeah, it's good to see you. Thanks for taking us to our next location. I'm guessing you're covering the Ds or whatever, we're on the Es or the Gs?

Oh Great Games, that's one of my favorite stores to which I had … you know one of the problems when you're walking the mall is back when I wasn't giving mall tours, before I was a professional mall walker, I was an amateur mall walker. And when you have mall friends, a lot of them are either not your age. It might be your mom's friends, say, or they're just your mall friends. You don't see them outside the mall. And sometimes between the mall walkers and the mall employees, you know, employees could be some tension because they kind of see us as like a good source to vent their frustration on about the economy or whatever. But also, you really don't have a home base at the mall. You have places you call your home base but … so we never got to play any games. Now these game stores, they invite people to play games in the store, which is great. I see Great Games.

Now this is a watch shop. Yeah, you could buy your watch here, you could get your watch repaired, you could buy used watches, new watches. That's probably a watch smith. Hello, hello. No, we're just watching you. Thank you, thank you. Oh of course you've heard of that before. Yeah, really, to have all those tools there. And that's nice. It's kind of like a performance art a little bit. It's a little bit like performance art, your work. Really, like, one day … I know the watch business is kind of unclear with the digital watches coming, but my guest here is from the new era where the things that are tactile will be re … so and there's the whole idea of being able to fix your own things, which I guess … or bring it to someone to fix. One day you may be putting screens on phones that are computers.

Okay, we'll move on. Thank you again, good to see you. Now here's a place where I'm comfortable saying hush. This place is called Hush Puppies and you may say, “What do they sell there? Potatoes or pets or shushers?” I say, “No, they sell shoes, believe it or not.” They're called Hush Puppies. And Hugh Puppies has tried to make … now I've never shopped there either, and they have that cute thing … this corporate mascot, which is very cute, that you can see there. Yeah, it's kind of cartoony. No, Buster Brown is something else. No, that's different I think. No, I'm getting Buster Brown and Hush Puppies mixed up? Oh boy, you just busted me. I've been … yeah, okay, well either way they both are known for their mall walking shoes, but I've never tried any of them on. But that's Hush Puppies.

Then you … now down the hall there is Pennys, right? Thank you for showing us where Pennys is. And that would be the source of James Cash Penny, which is pretty cool. And really glory day of the mall. Now down here is … current places, there's places called Jo-Ann's Fabrics, but this is Jo-Ann's Nuthouse. And yeah, we'll have a laugh about that. It's where they sell … you could buy just any kind of nuts you want. You can also sample nuts. Again, the world is a different place. You would go to mall to get your nuts and your cheeses and your smokes tubular meats. Yeah, it definitely … and also dried fruits. I guess Trader Joe's … we never knew Trader Joe's put the nuthouse out of business, but I guess they did. Yeah, well no people have used many of those nuthouse related jokes with me. As a mall walker, we do have to endure those kind of things. But you should endure yourself, like … at least a square of dried pineapple. Help yourself.

Hi, we won't make any jokes about you being in the nuthouse, working in the nuthouse or being a proprietor. Yeah, no, we're just here with our horse getting a tour. Yeah, this is old … frown wings, it's one of my favorite horses. Oh boy, now, here is another one that … this is KB Toy and Hobby. This is a toy store and a hobby store, but not super huge. So it gets a head to hand kind of … they didn't do their business just on volume alone. And that's probably why we don't see these but they … so you get some hobby supplies, which in the 90s people still made models, they played with trains, they built rockets, remote control cars. But also you got your Matel type toys there, too. And even your video games, which is probably when the cusp of what cost them their … so that's like a nice thing, though, that I do like it … there's a hair salon. Oh, Hair Fashions for fashionable hair, I guess.

And there's a place called Kenny Shoes. That's nice. Yeah. And what else do we have here? Limited. You probably heard of some of these ones. That ones, yeah, just a Limited. Yeah, it's like clothes for people … you say, well, you know you can only buy clothes here for some people that will pay for them. They're limited. And of course this is Kenny Shoes, so yeah. Okay, horse is heading off. Here comes another horse coming back. And this horse has a cat on the back of it. Wow. So you're a horse with a cat riding on your back. I like that. And it looks like the cat is taking a nap in place of your … what do you call that thing where you sit? A saddle. It's just a sleeping cat, yeah. It's nice. We'll pat you and we'll let the cat sleep as you show us what's next on our walking tour.

Okay Jewelers, yeah, that was like one of the mall jewelry stores. And that's interesting that, yeah, okay. Here comes one that I don't know, I think they may still exist. Orange Julius. I don't know if I've ever had one. We've talked about it. I mean, not to you, but I've talked about this on because it's the ether verse, I'm not allowed to purchase anything. But I'm pretty sure it's fruit juices and seltzer mixed together. Or just fresh juices, not quite a smoothie but they do blend it so it's foamy. So it's like Orange Julius, so orange juice mixed with other stuff and foamed up. Yeah, with something I guess it had it's time. For a while, it had it a long time. You know entertaining uniforms. Okay, there's Pavone's, which is a New York style pizza style place. And Payless Shoes. That's been around for a long time. So that's cool.

Then here's a couple other ones. Oh boy, this is history in the making. Radio Shack and Record Town, side by side. That is really … those are things we won't see again. Radio Shack was where you'd buy … it was a store that had a couple different … I think maybe what happened was when KB went out of business, it threw Radio Shack off. Because originally I think Radio Shack just sold things for radio enthusiasts and tinkerers, makers you would have called them in my time. Tactilist, I think, is to the part of your time that they're a member of. And they … but then they kind of became more of a … they kept adding on different product lines to try to attract more customers. Radio controlled cars, different holiday gifts, and then eventually it became unfocused, I think. And that was … they also like you go in to get a chord for something. At one point it was a great deal and then it became, like, whoa you want $40 dollars for this telephone chord. What?

But that's that and then Record Town, this one interesting enough still has lots of records. So vinyl records, which again have always been popular and still remain to members of the tactile movements. Really cool. So that's great. What else do we have here? Tailor, silver and gold store, Hallmark. That's like a bit like the stationery store but branded. Oh down here is a Stride Right. That was another one that made … know for mall walking shoes. The only problem was that's all they were known for. And so that was … you know that created kind of saying, whoa, would you just sell … also I think nurses. They sold high quality nursing shoes or shoes for people in other stride based professions. Oh, goodbye. Our horse ran off.

Here comes another horse. Oh this one has a lot of flowers on it. Oh beautiful for gracious skies. Do you mind if I call you Amber Waves of Grain, even though there's nothing amber about out? You've got these beautiful flowers on you with some … are those garlands in the gray and black color? You are shiny. Do you remember the song Shiny? It was from one of those movies. I think Moana. It was a crab, you know, one of the concords. Yep. Yeah, it was the taller one. I don't know. I'm here, I'm working actually. Well could you take us to the next location? Where were we? I don't know. No, we've seen Orange Julius. Stadium Club. Okay, that's interesting. That's another sporting goods store. Sunglass Hut, that's like a … it's not a hut. It's just in the middle here. That's where you can get sunglasses.

Oh boy, here we go. There's an aquarium store. That's great. And again, they sell more than just aquariums. They sell different pets that would go in aquariums. So that's really cool. You could go in there and look around and … oh there's the Gift Horse. That's funny. It's for horse based gifts. In my time, gift meant a whole nother thing. If you said the horse gift, don't look a gift horse in the mouth. Don't look at a gift horse too long, or gif horse. Oh and the Body Company is another one. The Limited … I thought we already saw that one or was that something like that? I think those the Limited and something else exclusive. They have different things. Really, we're almost done here? That's too bad. Thank you for finishing us off, though, horsey poo. Treasure Hut. That, again, is like Earring Factory or whatever. You can get other things. Vitamin World? No. Oh Walden Books. This is a good bookstore. A really good one. Like you can come, they have magazines. It's nice and … it's not as big as the big book stores.

And but yes, you could always come back to this place. Now you have all access pass. It looks like you're set, you can return for free with purchase, though. There's Tom McCann. I thought there was a Spencer's Gifts in here but I guess not. I guess that was in my memory. Tuxedo Junction. That's where you rent tuxedos. And finally this last place is World of Science and that looks like quite an exciting place to shop. Maybe we could go shop there. It has science based gifts and science based stuff. Yeah, look at that. Of course they probably have some model volcanoes and … yes, so thank you. Yes, it was good taking you on this tour. I'm glad you're satisfied. I'm glad you accompanied me. It was a very interesting little trip we took, thank you. I'll see you inside the World of Science. Okay, good night horsey poo. Good night, I'll pat your flank and send you on your way. Good day.