1442 – Forager | Checking Into Boredom Ep 1

Episode 1442 – Forager | Checking Into Boredom Ep 1

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's time for the podcaster who's here to bring you some sleepy joy and delight, some comfort in the deep, dark night. I had no idea that would rhyme, but the rhyme accidentally came on time, that second rhyme. You could tell the difference between a accidental rhyme and a poorly-intentional rhyme here on Sleep With Me podcast, the podcast that's here to put you to sleep. But really here to bring you comfort, relief, distraction, and soothe you, but in a friendly…a friendly, goofy way if you can't get to sleep, if you're having trouble…if you've had trouble getting to sleep, staying asleep, but we'll talk more about it in the intro. I'm really glad you're here, if you're new. I really hope this show can help you out or guide you towards something that does help you out.

 

If you're here because you're going through a tough time right now, I'm here to help out in the way I can whether you just return to this podcast when you're going through something tough and its impacting your sleep or life changes. That is one thing that lot of…the way a lot of people listen, is when they go through these major events in their life, and I really do get the pleasure of hearing from those people, ‘cause I've been doing the show for so long. I've heard from people when they've gone from high school to their first job or to…when they've gone from high school to college to their first job to, you know, through relationship ups as downs to…like a big relationship, maybe starting a family, maybe changing jobs, maybe the other major life changes we all experience, and maybe some of the minor ups and downs, too, when they can't sleep. Then there's regular listeners, people that listen all the time. I'm glad you're all here, and the show is a bit different. If you're new or you haven't listened in a while, you may have forgot that.

 

I hope not, though. But it's here to help out, and I'll talk more about it coming up here. If you are one of those occasional listeners, you're new, or you're just not in a place where you could support the show, that's totally fine. We do have you. We've got you. You don't have to worry. We love making the show for your benefit. But if you are a person that benefits from the podcast night after night, week after week, it's changed your life for the better, like you're a super listener, it is either you or somebody else that’s got to support the show, another super listener. If you say, no, I'm the one; I'm going to support it for all those other people and for all the benefit I get out of the show, here's the ways you could either support a sponsor or support the show directly. Thanks.

 

Intro: Hey, are you up all night? Tossing, turning mind, racing, trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is sleep with me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. All you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I'm going to do the rest. What I'm going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever is keeping you awake; thoughts, things on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally, feelings that are there or are coming up, it could be physical sensations, it could be changes in time, temperature, routine, travel, guests, like I said earlier; life events, maybe you work a different schedule or a new job, or maybe a lot of times like me, you're like, I don't get it. I thought I did every…you know, I thought I did everything I needed to do to get some sleep tonight, and I even felt sleepy.

 

You know it…I guess those become thoughts and feelings, too. So it is…maybe it's like a cycle a bit. But the only reason I go through some of that and I share it is so you get a sense, at least, you're not alone. Even if you're not comfortable with that fact, that's totally cool. This show is very indirect, right? But I want you to get a sense that maybe you could be understood here, whatever is it's keeping you awake, that this is a welcome place for all that, where I do my best, at least, not to minimize those things or to be dismissive, but to say that's tough, whether it's something I've experienced or not, whether it's something that can connect to the underlying feelings or not. If you say, yeah, I don't think you can connect to the underlying feelings with this one, there's another layer to it, which is that there's enough people listening right now in this moment that there is someone listening right now with you who really gets where you're at.

 

You know, it is indirect; it's all we could do with the show, but they're sending their well wishes and their comfort to you across the deep, dark night. They're thinking fondly of you. Somewhere in the world, a regular listener is thinking of you and sending you good things, because they've been there and they really do know what it is like, and they really get it, and they're really hopeful. Now, this show doesn't work for everybody, but they're hopeful either this podcast will help you out like it helped them out, or, like I said, it'll introduce you to something that will help you out, maybe, or just set you on the road to find something that eases some of that, that does bring you comfort in the deep, dark night. Those listeners, they get this positive experience. The show puts them to sleep, but they also get to participate in this main part of the show, the beginning, the wind down and the intro, and think fondly of other people that have hurt like they hurt, and that's really the…it's not even the foundation of the show; it's the earth beneath the show.

 

It’s like…maybe it's like…it's like the earth and there's some bedrock, but it's not all solid bedrock ‘cause there's obviously some soft stuff in there, too. You say, I don't know if…we don't need to get into too many Earth-related things. ‘Cause you say, well, yeah, there could be, yeah, some nice friend…Earth-based beings in there hanging around, but they're only there to cuddle and snuggle with us, too. But anyway, let me get…what was I saying? So, whatever it is that brought you here, I hope I can help, because you deserve a bedtime where you could get the rest you need your life is more manageable tomorrow, a bedtime where it's not full of rigmarole or tossing and turning like it was for me last night, or where you start dreading bedtime, but where you say, well, at least I got that podcast to listen to, and I know I'm gonna do these other things as part of my wind-down routine. My wind-down routine does make bedtime nice, even when I can't sleep.

 

So, I hope the podcast can be a part of that, because if you're getting the rest of you on a regular basis, your life's gonna be better, and maybe it gets so much better that you're out there in the world flourishing. If you're flourishing, it means our world's a better place, and that's the kind of world I want to be in, because we could really use you right now. You don't even have to be at your best. Even if you're just doing okay or like, ugh, we could use that. So, it'd be nice, and that's what I wish for you. Well, I strive for full flourishing. I'll take…well, I'm feeling more of a ‘fluh’ today. I say, oh, I get it. It's about how I'm feeling today, too, but I still love making the show. So, yeah, I'm really glad you're here. The way the show works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents.

 

So, I go off topic, I get mixed up, I forget what I was talking about, then I repeat myself, or I try to come up with some metaphor, and there's filler words where I'm like, what was I was I thinking about? What was I saying? So, my voice is not traditionally soothing. This content is a bit different and meandering, and it does take some getting used to. Whatever brought you here, right…maybe you heard about the show from somebody else, or you searched for it, or you stumbled upon it. You're like, oh, a sleep podcast. It's got that purple art, and I like it. You know, clouds and sheep and stuff like that. I don't know, this seems pretty peaceful. Then you start listening to it and you're like, this is more of a creaky, dulcet…I don't know what this is, kind of thing. So if you're skeptical, you're doubtful, you're frustrated, that's the normal experience when people first get to this podcast. I mean, I can't believe…you know, I'm really lucky that the people stick around, but it is just the way the show works.

 

It's an acquired taste, but it's also so different than everything that I experienced around bedtime. I mean, intentionally different so that you could try something that never worked before, and you say, wow, I had no idea even to look for this. I doubted this would even work. This is what most regular listeners said. It took two or three tries. That's what the majority of listeners say; hey, it took two or three tries. At first I didn't like the show, then I was like, what is this? Then the third time, I said, oh, yeah, I didn't even know something like this could exist, but it makes sense. I just didn't think it would be out there, ‘cause it's like a friend hanging out with me in the deep, dark night that's talking about not nothing, but almost nothing. So, it does take some getting used to. If you find that either right now in this moment you do not want to listen to show ever again, you know you don't like me — I am acquired taste — or you listen two or three times and you discover the show's not for you, or you've listened 300 times and you say, I don't know about the show anymore, it's totally fine.

 

We have a website set up for you, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, where you could find other sleepy stuff out there, and there's other sleep podcasts on there made by great people that are a little bit different than this show, and there's other sleepy stuff that I've tried, so you could still find something. Sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. Instead of being frustrated, you can find something that works or something else to try. So, that’s sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. Most people don't like this podcast. It is like…it's an acquired taste, like some sort of hard candy that someone gives you, and it's like one of those…like a light-green color. You're like, what is this gonna be, a melon or a mint or, you know…? They say, oh, I don't know. I got it from my nana, you know. So, just give it a few tries. See how it goes.

 

You really do have nothing lose, and I really do want to help you, and that's the whole reason I've set up sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, was to help the people out that most strongly dislike me and the people that the show doesn't work for, ‘cause I hear from the people that most strongly dislike me. After hearing the same kind of similar things, I said, oh, yeah, these…I'm a acquired taste and these tastes don't match. Let me help these people out and give you a place to go that you're gonna get what you're looking for hopefully, but also the people that try the show and it just doesn't work. Anyway, that’s…it's like, make a positive for everybody. So, that’s sleepwithmepodcast.com/…oh, also…so this is a podcast, obviously. Or maybe not obviously. It’s a audio program that you don't really listen to. You just kinda barely listen. It’s like background noise or TV on in the other room, a show streaming under your pillow.

 

It’s kinda like background noise you could tune into or a out-of-focus picture or a friend you call or in person; you say, hey, talk to me about nothing for a while. They say, okay, what do you want to know about? Well, do you have any stories you've been working on making…? Oh yeah, I got…oh, I’ve got some stories I’m working on. Yeah, this one’s about…yeah, I could…okay, yeah, can you tell it to me about…? Yeah. Oh yeah, I’ll tell you all about it. You get comfortable. So, yeah, it’s like something…you could pay attention but you don't need to pay attention, 'cause I’m not here to put you to sleep. There is no pressure to fall asleep with this show. The reason the episodes are over an hour is so you don't have to think about when you're gonna be falling asleep. This show is not meant to put you to sleep, this podcast, this audio program, whatever you want to call it. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep versus putting you to sleep.

 

I’m here to be your companion, your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your bore-bie, your boreman, your Boris Borelaf, your chairman of the boreds, your best bore-friend f’eva, to just hang out with you and…'cause there’s people listening who can't sleep at all or who wake up in the middle of the night or who need a break during the day or can't get back to sleep and need something to listen to. I’m here for them and for you. Whether you're awake or asleep, whether you're listening or not, you could know I’m here to hang out with you, and I’m here to hang out at the most comfortable distance possible. So, yeah, that’s what my job is. The other thing I like to go over in the intro in case you're new is the structure of the show. We structure the podcast in a way that can benefit the maximum amount of people we can, and the show is kind of adjustable, too, as long as you have…depending on the podcast app you listen in, you could make a lot of adjustments.

 

But yeah, let me tell you about the structure of the show. The show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in and you say, oh, okay, I might check that podcast out. I’ll give it a try. I kinda feel welcomed and at home. So, that’s the teaser, we call it, I guess. Then there’s support so that paying for the show is optional. That way it benefits the most amount of people we can, the people who are new, the people who only listen from time to time, and the people who just can't support the show. But there’s support so that the people who get value out of the podcast on a regular basis can support the show back, and then everybody benefits. So, the sponsors and the calls to support the show directly are for those people that listen on a regular basis. Their life is improved by the show…just like any other service that makes their life better.

 

Then after the support is a show within a show that’s around fifteen to twenty minutes long, the introduction to the podcast, where I follow a familiar structure every time but I go on different tangents every time so it has variety and familiarity, which is just one thing I learned from trying all this stuff to try to help me fall asleep. Anything repetitive would catch my attention and would not work after the second or third time. Yeah, it’s…so, it’s…every intro is different but it follows the same structure, and it takes fifteen to twenty minutes so that I can ease you into bedtime. Most people don't fall asleep during the intro. If you do and you're hearing this, please support the show directly, because people who fall asleep fast, there’s no other way for us to keep the show going for them unless they support the show. But most people are getting ready for bed, in bed getting comfortable, doing some sort of chill wind-down activity, petting their pets, looking out the window, lying on the floor, whatever it is, to get eased into bedtime.

 

So, kinda see what works for you, right? Or as you become a regular listener of the show, see what you can test out around your bedtime routine. But having a nice bedtime routine works for me most of the time, and it makes bedtime better, and it’s just what I’ve seen works, and getting eased into bedtime is pretty nice, too. So, that’s what the intro is about. Then there will be support for those people that benefit the most, and then there will be our bedtime story. Tonight it’ll be the first episode of our episodically modular series, which as the moment of this recording does not have a name yet. So, it’ll be named something, maybe. I mean, probably. So, I’m really glad you're here. I really love making this podcast. So do everybody that works on the show. We really do take pride. We do really work hard and yearn and strive not just to help you fall asleep but to bring you comfort, joy, and delight in the deep, dark night. So, if the podcast has changed your life, please consider supporting the show either for the…for what you get out of it, how it’s improved your life, or for all the other people’s lives it makes better, and you could do that by supporting a sponsor or supporting the show directly, and that’ll be what these messages are about. Thanks.

 

Alright everybody, this is Scoots. Welcome to our new series, episodically modular. This one is particularly…well, I haven't recorded it yet, so…planning on this being very modular and very episodic. So, that’s good news. While this technically is Episode 1, the plan is for this one to be as episodically as I can make it. What does that mean? Each episode will be self-contained and will give you most of the details you need to know if you're listening along or falling asleep to put you at ease and to take your mind off of stuff and to keep you company. If you listen to the episodes in order or more than one, you just have a little bit depth, maybe. But it’s fine, and you can always listen to these in any order, even though this is the first one. So, what do you mean by episodic even more so, Scoots? Okay, so, you're right. I’ll explain this in general and then hopefully coming up the narrator will explain things in more detail. But each episode there will be the recurring main character.

 

They’ll find out what they need to do, they’ll attempt to do it, and…maybe successfully, maybe unsuccessfully, and that’ll probably take them forty-five to fifty minutes plus whatever time it takes me to set everything up. All told, we’ll be here around an hour. So, with that…oh, and it doesn't have a title yet, though this episode will probably be tired Noir Chardonnay, if it could be. So, welcome to our new series, and as always, arriving in the Greater Central New York Area, with his love, which could be considered an embodiment of the greatest love of all…and when he can be perfectly quiet, which is yet to be proven, it does help me feel the greatest love of all inside of me…for pure silence without his smile twinkling or what…when his…just his eyes. His eyes also make a sound. Well, I think it’s more…I’ve talked about this before.

 

I’m not aware of other…beings from other realms, but I know they're there because they react to Antonio Banderas’ eyes, his smile, his chin, his cheek, his voice, his hair, his zhuzh. Je ne sais zhuzh…he’s got a lot of that. His gravitas, his…something beyond our understanding, and that’s why I love having him. Here’s our celebrity announcer with qualities that, while they're beyond our understanding in a good way…and most people would consider those qualities non-audible or sub-audible. I do hear them, though he does do his best to…you can't really…I don't know how…you don't have…there can't be an angel-side dampener. I’ve looked that up. I said, excuse me, is this the electronics shop? Yes it is, sir. You got all kinds…you work in…you got anything related to ham radios? Yes sir, we do. Do you have your…? No, no, I’m not…I don't have a ham radio license, no, though I am a bit of a ham, so…and I’m on something similar. Sir, can I help you?

 

Yeah, I’m gonna ask you for some…I'm looking for something particular…this is…you sell musical instruments, right? Recording…? Yes sir, we do. What can I help you with? Okay, this may throw…I'm looking…do you sell any dampeners? Sir, why don't you explain to me what you need and I’ll help give you the vocabulary and see if we can locate it for you? Okay, well, I have a very unique situation, and I’m afraid if I explain it to you, then it will…okay, sir, why don't you just tell me what you think you need, and I’ll see if we have it? Okay, do you have any angel dampeners, particularly for when angels sigh or they tinkle their wings together in…? Kinda like when people curl their toes, angels do that with their wings when they…it's similar to goosebumps. I don't know if angels get goosebumps. I’m not sure these are angels. That’s also just the terminology I’m using, because I can only hear it. I can't see it. Sir, I’m not sure. Sir, I think you have a celebrity announcer there waiting to introduce you.

 

Oh, you're right. So, here he is, the man who gives angels the equivalent of goosebumps. I’m speaking figuratively, but oh boy, does he strike a figure. He comes here all the way on stored renewable energy, and every time I see him I feel renewal in my…wanting to dampen sounds, but also I do feel a zhuzh. He’s the man who makes my heart go zhuzh, is Mr. Antonio Banderas. Oh, Scooter. The friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys, the girls, it’s time for a new series featuring tonight Noir Chardonnay. Yeah. Can I get one more? Yeah. One more. Still…yeah. Okay, that was a good one. That was no mouth noises. That’s Antonio Banderas, and this is our new series, this episode featuring Noir Chardonnay.

 

Good evening, everyone. I’m your narrator, and I’m gonna be telling you tonight’s tale. I know this is your first episode. Now, if this was…if there was already a series, this would be a compliment to a series called The Hotel Detective. But this is not the series of The Hotel Detective. But each episode of this series…tonight the episode takes place — and every episode takes place — in a different hotel known as The Hotel in whatever location they are located in, which will make more sense as you become used to it and you'll learn more. I don't want to give you too much information. So, each hotel takes place at a hotel as part of a chain called The Hotel, and the place name is after that. Okay, and each hotel does have someone who works at The Hotel known as The Hotel Detective. They're there to find lost things, misplaced items, but maybe they have a bigger role at The Hotel, and maybe these hotels play a bigger role. But that would be all in a series called The Hotel Detective.

 

This is about someone who, from time to time, helps out that person. Tonight’s episode features one Noir Chardonnay, who happens to be their name…each episode I believe they change their name from hotel to hotel, but it is the same person. They may be slightly familiar to you, 'cause they travel the world going from The Hotel location to The Hotel location, helping clients of The Hotel get to sleep, because they are the exclusive bedtime storyteller for The Hotel, and they're well known. The Hotel is well known for this service, and they are considered the best in the world, and they are cloaked in mystery, for no one knows who this hotel…The Hotel’s bedtime storyteller really is. When people have discovered it, they didn't believe it anyway, which helps…it's I guess a self-perpetuating…self de-perpetuating myth when the person that tells the bedtime stories is himself. People say, no, no, no, you travel the world telling bedtime stories to exclusive clients?

 

But they also have another role from time to time, The Hotel Detective, and whatever mysterious things happen behind the scenes, they also need help from the bedtime storyteller, otherwise it would only have one layer of episodically modular content. So, each time we gather from now on…I may explain this again and again and maybe in a different way again and again, but I’m glad you're here. We’ll be following this bedtime storyteller as they arrive at The Hotel locations and find out what their mission for each night is. I wish I had…the writer of this tale had told me the name of this series. But they said, yeah, you gotta see how it sounds before we decide. So, welcome to tonight’s tale. Tonight’s episode takes place at The Hotel Agartala in Tripura. It’s close to evening, or it may be evening when a figure makes his way to the front desk. First he pauses and looks at the two check-in lines and tries to decide…even though there’s no one in line.

 

He can't decide whether to get in the normal check-in line or the check-in line for people that have The Hotel…the right…they got the membership at The Hotel. It’s not that he doesn't know which one to check in at, 'cause he’s done this many, many times before. It’s that like so many things, he’s overthinking what other people will think, when they're not thinking of him at all. Or maybe they are, but they're…right now the staff is looking on at him with amusement. Finally he decides to just go through on the middle of both after each staff member has made…oh, good evening, sir. Can I help you? Yes. I’m here to check in. Yes, sir. What’s the check-in name? The name’s Chardonnay, Noir Chardonnay. I’m sorry, sir, did you say your name is Chardonnay Noir Chardonnay or Noir Chardonnay? It’s Noir Chardonnay. Oh, were your parents wine drinkers? No, one of my parents was a Chardonnay. Anyway, it’s not…it's…oh yes, sir, we have…we’ve been expecting you. Great. Is my…?

 

Yes, sir, we got your request for a room; perfect…that’s close to both the elevator and the ice machine. Unfortunately our ice machines…the ice machine room is undergoing construction 20:00 to 22:00 hours in the evening. So, the ice machine is not operating, but we did get you a room right between the ice machine and the elevator. Oh, okay. Also, the Sundries Supervisor is waiting to see you. So, we can have all your things taken up to the room. They're waiting for you in the back office. Okay. So, you don't have a room that’s…? Since…? Oh no, sir, that’s the only room…that’s the room we have for you, sir. Okay. So, just through here? Yes, just through there, sir. So, Noir Chardonnay goes down a hall near the check-in desk. At the end of the hall he sees an open door, and sitting in a desk in a relaxed state is I guess who we would assume is the Sundries Supervisor, 'cause she waves him in. Good evening. Are you the Sundries Supervisor? Yes, welcome. Are you our pillow-softener, as they say?

 

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Please have a seat. We got your room request. Unfortunately…you could just request a room that’s not near the ice machine or the elevator. Yeah, I tried that, but somehow it got…even…it did backfire, didn't it? Yes, it did. Okay, sit down, sit down. So, what is it you need to speak to me about? Okay, let me close the door here. Well, we're glad you're here. We do have a client for you, and she’s staying with us right now, and we're looking forward to you helping the client. But there are other matters to discuss. But before we get to those matters, I do want to remind you…I'm familiar with your files. Okay. Like files like more than…? There’s…like, are they cross-referenced or is it just…? It's too big for one file folder. I’ve spoken with our team, the team, and they've asked me to remind you to focus on the tasks we give you, and that’s all we need you to do.

 

There’s no other assignments other than helping the client get to sleep and the rest of what I’m gonna tell you we need. Beyond that, we don't need anything more. We don't…because I’ve been told that that’s been a issue before in all of your assignments. An issue before…yeah, before in my assignments. Just, I like to deliver above and beyond. Yeah, and I just want to remind you that it does…it won't help your…listen, I was never in your shoes before, but I haven't always been the Sundries Supervisor. I did have to earn this office and earn the trust of the team to be trusted, and I think if that’s what your desire is, just remember to follow instructions. Because I’m familiar with your files, and you are good at what you do. It’s when…you're not really designed to color outside the lines, I guess is one way of putting it. Okay, okay. Yeah, it makes…I'm excited to be with…I won't even try to trace the lines this time. How about that? I’ll just be within the lines.

 

You tell me what it is I’m coloring, and let’s go from there. Okay, well, it’s exciting. It’s exciting. So, the client you're working with, she’s very famous within niche…she’s niche famous. She’s a forager, which I think I probably…not for forgeries. Like, she forages things in the wild. You mean like truffles? Yes, she does not forage truffles, but that’s a good example. Yes, she’s been here some time. She’s having trouble sleeping, and she’s known as one of the greatest foragers in the world. The reason she’s here is because we have…she seems to have solved…I think I’ll let her explain it to you, but she has found a rare wood and been very successful at foraging this wood, finding it in the wild. There’s a lot of rules around foraging of this wood, and it’s very rare. I don't want to answer any more questions 'cause I think it’ll be essential to your job, because this wood is of particular interest to us, and that is, I guess in a sense, why you're really here. We have not been able to discover where she’s getting this wood.

 

Okay, 'cause you're not…but she’s…in the wild. Well, yeah, this wood is very regulated here and very sought after and very protected, and in the wild very rare and very hard to find. Again, she’ll tell you more about this wood. Obviously it grows, but any wood that is sold or discovered to be sold…well, this table over here is made from the wood. It’s beautiful. Yes, it is, and it’s…if you smell it, it’s very pungent. I don't…so, the wood…let’s see, how do I explain this? She came to the area as a forager, right, to take up this challenge, this…agarwood is the name of it — I might as well just tell you — and it has a whole story behind it. It may be good for a bedtime story. But it is very, very hard to find in the wild. Over the years…that’s why it’s been so regulated, is to protect it, because it is a resource and it’s rare, and there are people that have now attempted to cultivate it within their own groves and things. Part of the regulation and the test…and the keeping is testing it.

 

It’s very easy to test where it came from scientifically and what strain it is and what soil it was grown in. There’s not very many forests where you could just go and find it and then bring it back and have it tested to be…okay, you had a permit to forage for agar there, and you've successfully found it. Now, obviously anyone that would find it would not want to reveal where they found it with…except within these general regions. Okay, so you're saying she found…she’s finding this wood. Yeah, she’s been incredibly successful, but in a way that’s…it's drawn our attention, but now it’s also drawn other people’s attention. She’s been successful but not too successful. Okay, so she’s successfully finding this wood, and you think that she’s faking the tests or something? No. We’ve also tested for something that the regulators here don't test for, something that’s of concern to The Hotel, of where it comes from in relation to The Hotel.

 

We believe whatever location she’s foraging this wood from, it’s of interest to The Hotel to find where it is, confirm where it is, confirm how she’s accessing it, but also…well, let me just make sure you understand what I’ve said so far. So, she’s finding this very rare wood, agarwood, and it can only be foraged in certain areas. They double-check to make sure if you find it that you've taken it from one of those areas, which is what the regular tests confirm. So, she’s successfully finding something very rare on a regular basis. Even though she’s…she is the greatest forager in the world, you're saying? Presumably, or one of the best. But you're saying that she’s found a source of this wood, legal wood, but within the bounds of The Hotel…it’s a concern because it may be within the boundaries of The Hotel’s concern or…yes, yes, exactly. We just need to confirm where she’s getting it. We just need some clues. We don't need you to find the wood. We don't need you to interview her.

 

We just need you to do your magic, and somehow…normally, by you just interviewing her and telling her a bedtime story and helping her sleep, we get what we need. But…but you need me to just do that. No, no, no, there’s one other concern. She hasn't just got our attention now. There is someone else. She’s actually having dinner with them at The Hotel restaurant right now. He represents some sort of agarwood consortium, and he’s also seeking where she’s getting this wood from. He also realizes that this may be some sort of untapped source she’s slow-rolling, and he cannot find out where she’s getting the wood from. Now, we don't need you to prevent that. That’s our job. But we do need to know if he knows. We know up to this point he doesn't know, but it’s kind of like a ticking clock. You do need to finish and at least get some sort of information about where she’s getting this wood from before he extracts the information through…I think he’s trying to obviously tempt her with money and power.

 

Okay, so I should just…? So, she’s having dinner at The Hotel right now with him? Yes. Can I go over there and check in, and she knows that I’m here? She knows that you're arriving today. Okay, so I could head over there now. Yeah, why don't you head over there now? Well, I could head over there now, but…isn’t there any kind of gadgets or anything to help me with my tasks, like a wood-detector or a listening…ear plugs for the ice machine that’s under construction? Some sort of laser…a watch, even? Oh, you want…? Oh, of course. Yeah, the team sent this ahead. Let me just check here. It’s in this box right behind me. That box…that says 1000 Sewing Kits. Oh yeah, that’s just…there’s only one sewing kit in this box. That’s just the one we have set aside for you. What do you mean? Oh, well, this is a very special sewing kit for the task you have at hand. It’s easily placed in your pocket. It’s in this envelope.

 

A paper…the paper itself could be useful for you, for any…noisemaker, writing stuff down, whatever it is. Then within it is two — not just one but two — sewing needles, two different sizes, three buttons of different sizes including one clear, one kinda milky, and then one grayish black, and then four colors of thread. We have a black thread, a white thread, a red thread, and a blue thread. So…and they're all neatly there. You’ve got the paper that the thread is wrapped around. All this could be easily concealed in your pocket for whenever you need it. Wow, okay. Is there any…so, is there any electronics in here or…are there any lasers, or is there anything ultra-frequency? Oh, let me just check the notes from the team. Okay…huh, okay. Alright, well, no, the only thing they noted was that they were unable to include a thimble, which under all recommendations…they said they would have included ten thimbles for you, but then it wouldn't be easily slipped into your pocket.

 

They did say to…maybe don't put it in your back pocket for when you sit down. Use one of your jacket pockets, ideally. But yeah, that’s everything for now. Alright, thank you. This is, okay, The Hotel sewing kit. I’m gonna put it in this…I'm left-handed, so I’m gonna put it in my right jacket pocket so that it’s easily accessible. Very good. I will be here. Why don't you…? They should just be finishing their dinner and having dessert. Okay, thank you very much. Okay, I’m gonna…I’ll see you later. Okay, so then our hero, Noir Chardonnay, headed out of the office, kind of with a skip in his step in excitement. This was…The Hotels tend to be beautiful. While they aren't in the fanciest city in the region or the second or the top area, they're always in a very interesting place if you take the time to visit. Agartala is included in that, and The Hotel itself was once a water palace.

 

So, if this was true theatre of the mind, you would have seen Noir Chardonnay taking a boat out into the middle of the lake, and that this hotel almost looks like a fairytale castle floating on the water…red-and-white sandstone minarets, and then what once was a open-air theatre converted into an indoor/outdoor restaurant where the diners could enjoy entertainment, music, or bird-watching, because the entire lake is a giant wetland and a stopover for migratory birds. So, Noir Chardonnay made his way through the restaurant and checked in with the maitre d’ about…and then he said, I forgot; the Sundries Supervisor sent me over here. Yes, sir. I’m the pillow-softener. Oh, with the ice and the elevator room, huh? Yeah, yeah. We don't have the equivalent at the restaurant. Sir, are you here for dinner? No, no, I’m here…I forgot to ask the Sundries Supervisor the name…I'm here to say hello to my client. She’s having dinner with someone, and they should be at dessert.

 

Ah, yes, Miss Maple, sir. Miss Maple is right over here. Why don't I take you over and just make sure it’s okay? Miss Maple, excuse me. You and your guest…I hate to interrupt your dessert. How is everything? It’s excellent, thank you. Well, Miss Maple, The Hotel just sent by…your bedtime storyteller is here. Noir Chardonnay, this is Miss Maple and her guest. Would it be okay if I leave you with…Miss Maple, can I leave Noir Chardonnay here? Do we call you Mr. Chardonnay or Noir? Thank you, thank you. Miss Maple, is it okay if I join you two? Hello, I’m Noir Chardonnay, and you are? Oh, this is my guest. Mr. Sangreed, this is Noir Chardonnay. He’s a bedtime storyteller of The Hotel. Mr. Sangreed and I were just discussing some business, but we were just finished discussing it. So, so nice of you to join us. Oh, thanks, thanks. So, yeah, I just want to introduce myself, let you know…I think we have a couple appointments set up. I just got in, so I’m gonna try to…anyway, enough about me.

 

But how is dessert? It’s alright. It was…it's alright. We're just finishing now. I’m sorry, did you say you're…? I’m confused. What are you here for? You work for The Hotel? Yeah, yeah, I’m a bedtime storyteller. You haven't heard of me? I guess not. You must sleep just fine. Yeah, I sleep just…wait, you tell bedtime stories to the children visiting The Hotel? No, no, no, he works for The Hotel. It’s one of the things they offer. I’ve been having trouble sleeping. I get so focused on my work, and they were nice enough to…it is kind of like…I am famous on the internet, you know, with the people I’m famous for, and this kind of comes…these opportunities come up. The Hotel here invited me to stay here for free in exchange for letting me use their bedtime storyteller, 'cause they knew…they're pretty confident…I mean, I’m not so confident, but…no offence, Noir. Or is it Mr. Chardonnay? Noir is fine, or Noir Chardonnay. I mean, Mr. Chardonnay is my mother’s father, but…okay.

 

Do you want me to call you…? Noir…yeah, no, it’s fine. But so, yes, he’s gonna work out some sort of bedtime story for me, and that’s gonna help me sleep. The Hotel has a lot of other features, and supposedly there’s a lot of famous clients, anonymous clients, but when you enter into your contract…you've put a lot of…you've helped a lot of famous people sleep. But they're…the reason they're doing it, Mr. Sangreed, is that they're so confident that this will be successful that I’ll talk about it on my foraging videos. Ah, yes. So, is this a joke? This person’s really…? You tell bedtime stories to famous people…The Hotel pays you to do this? I have an arrangement with The Hotel, yes. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it’s no joke. It’s very…I mean, I could tell you a bedtime story. I would do better than this guy. Well, no, it’s actually kind of like a art. I don't know what you do, sir, but yeah, I put a lot of thought into it, and it’s a process. It’s not just about the bedtime stories.

 

Actually, the bedtime stories are only one part of it. So, what would a bedtime story be about? Okay, let’s not get distracted here. We were just finishing up our discussion. Ah, yes. So, wait a second, so…I'm just curious. So, this person, Chardonnay or whatever, puts…helps you fall asleep? We're still…I'm still waiting for these videos about your foraging here in Agartala and trying to see how you're so successful. How come you haven't put any videos out since you've been here? Does this mean you're gonna put out a video about…? Oh, yeah, yeah. Anyway, let’s just finish…I’ll put out videos when I feel like putting out videos. Wait a second, I’m sorry; so, what is…you don't believe I could put people to sleep? I mean, I believe you could put anybody to sleep in person, but I’m just having trouble believing it. I’m a businessman. But maybe some people run hotels and they are looking to…I don't know, are you related to somebody that runs one of these?

 

No, I’m a bedtime storyteller. I mean, I didn't invent it or anything, but…have you ever heard of bathtub-warming? No, no, no. Anyway…listen, we were actually having a business discussion before you interrupted us and, I don't know, it seems like you're in the nonsense business. Could we…could you…? No, no, he doesn't need to excuse us. We were…our business discussions were finished. Yeah, I mean, anyway, I could tell you a bedtime story. Okay, okay, I don't need it from the bedtime storyteller, either. Why don't we just consider this dinner finished? I’ll be leaving. Honestly, I may have to agree with Mr. Sangreed. I’m not exactly sure…maybe you two should spend some…goodnight, gentlemen. So, Miss Maple headed off to her room. There was a little bit of back and forth between Mr. Sangreed and Mr. Chardonnay, but not too long because the bill came and then Mr. Chardonnay was out of there. He did order himself some dessert to his room, but it would have been comped, anyway.

 

He asked them to put it on Mr. Sangreed’s bill, but…anyway, but when he got back to his room he realized he had made an error, and he was pacing around the room overthinking when there was a knock at his door. Then he was pacing around trying to…it's the Sundries Supervisor. Please open the door. Hey, hey. What’s up? What did you…? We heard from the restaurant. Yeah, I mean, they don't seem like they made a deal or anything, so, I don't think he knows. I told you he didn't know anything. But when I asked Miss Maple how dinner was, she said, do you have any other bedtime storytellers? Okay, well, it was just that guy, Mr. Sangreed, was a little bit…it was…I wasn't working. I was just introducing myself. Okay, well, you need to fix this. Okay, I’ll fix it, I’ll fix it. Don't worry. So, he…our bedtime storyteller went to bed himself, eventually. He was pretty tired 'cause he was following his own protocol for avoiding jet lag, so he had stayed up until bedtime.

 

So, he went to sleep, and the next morning he had left a note and invited Miss Maple, with the greatest apology, to coffee, tea, breakfast, brunch before their scheduled appointment. So, they met in the lobby, and he walked up to Miss Maple, who was looking over some maps. He said, hey, Miss Maple. I just wanted to apologize for my behavior last night. I’m sorry, I let that Mr. Sangreed really push my buttons, and it’s not respectful of me. I realize it’s not conducive to doing my job as a bedtime storyteller. I’m sorry. I was very impatient and I should have paused. Okay. Oh, that’s fine, that’s fine. I’ll give you another chance, I guess. I know we have a few hours reserved, and believe it or not, I have an appointment at Mr. Sangreed’s office at 2:00. So, until then, though, we're supposed to be working together. Yeah, I thought we’d walk through that Heritage Park. It’s not…it won't take us very long to get there, and while we go there, you could tell me about…usually I like to…I don't really know that much about you.

 

I’d like to get to know you. It kind of is how I work. I just work better if we're walking and talking, and then I can help with this…the bedtime story part. We could talk in-between, too, about routines and stuff like that, but really it’s about getting to know you, right, so I could really create a bedtime story for you and get to the bottom of things. Okay, okay, yeah, let’s head out, then. So, they headed out, and while they were on the boat heading from The Hotel back to the main boat dock, they discussed bedtime routines and that kind of thing. They headed out to Heritage Park, which was a park that was kind of like a combination miniature train set…a huge miniature train set, but not just of trains but of the entire region, built to scale where the paths were the roads and you could walk to all the sites, including The Hotel.

 

One of the things they discussed was agarwood, and I guess…yeah, it’s a very, very rare and mystical wood, thousands and thousands of years…it's very spiritual, and I could kinda tell you about…it's very metaphorical. I don't know if you're into metaphors at all, but it comes from a particular tree. This isn't the only place in the world it grows, but it does grow in rainforests and this particular overall area of the world. But the tree is not the agar tree. It’s the Aquilaria tree. The Aquilaria trees’ wood is not particularly valuable. It’s pale, odorless, and easy to come by. But this tree can become agarwood. What happens is if the tree gets some sort of scrapey-scrape, just like a person does, a friend comes and joins the scrapey-scrape, Filio Flora. None of this is important. I guess maybe for…Filio Flora. But I guess this is kinda like a bedtime story. Once upon a time there was a tree, and it got a scrapey-scrape, and a new friend moved in, Filio Flora. Am I good at this? This is good.

 

This is good for the bedtime story, yeah, and this is interesting to me. Okay, but then, when Filio Flora comes in, the tree changes and says, I’m gonna make something new for Filio Flora, this new resin. This resin this tree starts to produce is dark and aromatic and it’s dense. The longer these two live together, the more resin is produced, but wood soaks up resin. So, this resin saturates the wood over time and it gets heavier and darker. It’s that wood which is usually within the heart of the tree. Maybe this is…and ideally it is an old scrapey-scrape, and these two…the tree and its new guest, its new partner, have lived together for a long, long time. So, this can be hidden deep within the tree. But it’s rare, right, for the tree not just to have a scrapey-scrape but to have a friend move in. So, while the trees themselves are common, this occurrence, this friendship, this organic friendship and magic, I guess in a sense, is not something that happens often.

 

Now, in this region it happens a little bit more…obviously the name of the wood and the name of the town. But it’s considered spiritual or luxuriant, because the wood itself, once it’s soaked in the resin, is so fragrant and that the scent is so powerful it could pass beyond even your sense of smell into spiritual realms, and that it could even impermeate your residence or places with the spirit of welcomeness or hospitality or cleansing, almost like a permanent incense or something. It’s not like it’s just one scent; it’s an incredibly complex scent profile, and the older the better. It’s incredibly valuable. Even now it’s incredibly sought after. There are people that cultivate it and have groves, kinda like your Christmas trees, I guess. They let them grow, and generations will harvest them. But it is different when it occurs organically and naturally, this partnership. You aren't just allowed to cut down trees anymore and then look inside, because that practice is frowned upon.

 

Each person has to find their way that they can find the scents, right, or find the thing, you know. One of the things that…it's so heavy and dense it can sink in water. Wow, that’s so…that’s amazing. That’s just really…so, somehow you've been able to find it successfully here within the…it's kinda like a bedtime story, too. You're right; it has an extra creative constraint with the rules around it. Yeah, I guess it does. You're right, you're right, it does. It has a extra creative constraint. I like how you say that. Yeah, I mean, I’ve been successful in foraging a lot of things, but this has been different for me because it is so magical, and I guess it is such a magical process. Then I’ve just found myself…the method I discovered has been help…hey, I noticed you're…this area here you've been really…yeah, we’ve paused in this area. It does…this is part of the region, huh? Yeah, that’s like…those train tunnels are cool. I don't know if you were looking at that to say…I was like…sorry to change the subject.

 

It’s just like, those train tunnels always carry away my imagination. Yeah, me too, me too, me too. But yeah, so, I’ve been successful. Yes, I’ve been successful. So, this…you know that dude from dinner last night, he’s over…did…? Yeah, I noticed him as well. He’s very persistent. He runs a consortium. They have found that…they did purchase some of my findings, but then I found out that they…instead of using the wood to produce high-end furniture, which does…I don't know, he wants to pulp the wood and reuse it, separate…he’s looking to take…to maximize things, I guess, and he really thinks that there could be some sort of scale and that I would make more money doing it that way, but I’m just not as…I'm just not sure. I don't like him, to be honest. But he said he’s got a proposal for me today, and I have a proposal for him, 'cause…I don't know. But you do…so, you love this…searching for this stuff, huh? Yeah. So…and then, just curious; does this…around the time the sleep stuff started?

 

Yeah, but it’s not…that’s not…it's just happenstance. I mean, yeah, no. There’s been other times. Okay, okay. So, you're gonna meet with him, and he wants to know…but you're not sure. Yeah, you do ask a lot of questions. How does this apply to the bedtime story? Well, I don't know. I think…I mean, walking through here with you…I realize we’ve been talking for a while. I’ve got a pretty good sense of things, but usually it’s…you're kind of driving the bedtime story. It’s almost like it’s coming from you. But a lot of times it does have to…there does have to be a return. It doesn't have to be a specific return, but getting a sense of…if we can go to a place that doesn't exist together that’s comfortable and safe and enjoyable but also can free up whatever it is…a lot of times the bedtime stories are about a soft release instead of a direct release, a distraction…kinda like when I noticed him looking or the train stuff, kinda like when you have a thought…that’s why I like foraging.

 

Sometimes I think of stuff other than foraging. I guess I kinda miss that. You miss…? When you're in the zone and you just think of stuff when you're foraging…I get it, I get it. Okay, well…well, listen, I’m gonna head out. Why don't you finish here at the park? You're gonna go meet him at his office later? Yeah, he’s…he has a office at another one…not…another…one of the big palace-type buildings. He rented a office there. So, yeah. Okay, well, yeah, I’m gonna…what…just out of…well, never mind. Okay, I’ll see you later. Okay, I’ll see you later, then. Yeah, could we try tonight to…? I’ll try giving you a bedtime story tonight and working together. Okay, okay. With that, our Mr. Chardonnay, Mr. Noir Chardonnay, hurried off in an abrupt manner, but he hurried all the way to this other palace building. Maybe he had gotten more information from her that we didn't hear, but he did look at the building list of question…names and found the right name, and then headed to the office, which was on a far side of the building.

 

Then he knocked, and he may or may or not have used the needle to get the door open, or it may have…the door may have been unlocked. But it was a single office. It had a lot of…it was kinda overstuffed with agarwood furnishings. There was an armoire, and of course Noir Chardonnay opened the armoire — it was a large, large armoire — and hid in there and waited and waited, and eventually Mr. Sangreed arrived back at his office and got settled. Then not that long after that, there was another knock at the door, and Miss Maple was there. She sat down and…it went back and forth, and Noir Chardonnay was listening. But it wasn't going well for Mr. Sangreed for what Noir Chardonnay wanted. She was still walking through the processes that Mr. Sangreed’s business did with the wood, one of which was creating a sap, and she had a bag of sap with her that she had bought that was sold by his company or manufactured by his company. She asked him to cover himself in this sap.

 

He said, why would I do that? She said, well, you sell this sap 'cause you think people are saps, basically. I want you…if you cover yourself in this, I’ll consider your proposal. They went back and forth. She goes, until you cover yourself in this sap…and it kept going back and forth. She goes, well, why won't you cover yourself in the sap? Why don't you tell me what was really in the sap? He said, yeah, it’s about 1/100th…he goes, actually, there’s only…he goes, it’s other stuff soaked in some of the old chips that we’ve already processed. Basically, as he admitted that, the door opened and these sap inspectors were there, who had been listening in the whole time. They escorted him…they said, we're gonna need to talk to you, 'cause we're on the Sap Safety Team. This is unacceptable. Then they took him out, and then Miss Maple said, huh, I wonder if anybody’s listening in here to me. Of course, Noir Chardonnay tried to keep quiet.

 

Then eventually night came, and Miss Maple followed the other protocols which we didn't…I didn't have to cover about winding down. Then Noir Chardonnay arrived at her room, and they…all the agreed upon things so that she would feel comfortable. He said, so, I’m gonna stand here, over here on this side of the room, and I’m gonna start telling you the tale. Tonight could just be the test, or maybe not. We’ll just see how it goes. She said, okay. But she goes, make sure to close the blinds, 'cause it’s really light outside. He said, okay, yeah, we can get this room really dark, yeah. There are…there’s some extra light because of the area and The Hotel lights. So, they got the room dark and he said, okay, can you hear my voice? She goes, yeah, can you hear mine? Yeah. She goes, were you hiding during the sap discussion? Yeah, yeah, I was hiding. She goes, so, why should I trust you as a bedtime storyteller if you're hiding and not being honest with me?

 

You need to tell me…what were you doing? Why were you in my business like that? Noir Chardonnay said, yeah, you're right, you're right. I want to give you an answer that’s simple and understandable, but the reason I tell bedtime stories is that, I don't know, sometimes I just do stuff impulsively and…'cause I think…I just wanted to fix things and I wanted to kinda smooth things over. But also another reason I tell bedtime stories is 'cause I have kind of a daydream fantasy life, and sometimes it gets mixed up. It might be considered cool to be going to the…mostly being a bedtime storyteller is doing nothing. I just wait for you and then I talk…I mean, there is work that goes into it, but it’s not the kind of work that…when I fantasize about things, I don't…I just think there will be more intrigue and excitement, and then I guess I kinda got lost in that, you know, thinking…I guess I was trying to be something I wasn't, kinda like someone smooth and suave. What would they do?

 

But you’re just supposed to tell me a bedtime story. Right, which I’ll do now, if that’s okay, with you. I want us to work together tonight. Okay. So, I was thinking of this room. It’s dark, right? But maybe I’ve been also sewing these curtains here while we were talking. Okay, why would you do that? Well, because I was thinking about the train tunnel today, and there was something about that, right? There’s something going on with your sleep, right, and there’s something missing from your foraging right now. You don't have to answer any of those things. I want you to imagine that the reason it’s kinda dark in here now is 'cause we're in that train tunnel. We're already at the point where we’ve gotten deep in there, right, where we can't see the entrance anymore and we can't see the exit. Okay, yes, I’ve been there before. I know what you mean. So, what do we see next? Well, we see a sliver of light, of course. Oh yeah, like that one. Okay, and we head towards the sliver of light.

 

The strange thing is it stays a sliver, and it’s one of those things we can't quite figure out or I can't figure out. Well, that’s not the entrance; that’s not a exit. It’s not…it doesn't seem real at first. Plus, it’s so dark, but I’m used to being in the dark and trying to find my way. I’m exploring, right? I’m foraging. I thought I was gonna take the tunnel as a shortcut, but then I see this light, and I know it’s not the entrance or the exit. I’m not even sure if it’s real, but I look into it and I go towards it. Eventually I realize that it’s a sliver…at first, well, I thought it was a sliver in the wall of the tunnel, so I start touching the wall. But then I realize, no, it’s a light shining through some…the other side of the tunnel. It’s hitting that wall and it’s just coming through an angle. So, then I go to the other side of the tunnel. I figured that out with my hands and feeling around. It takes me a while to find it, but then I find that it’s not just a crack in the tunnel; it’s…the tunnel has shifted.

 

So, it’s hard to explain, but that it’s kinda like a pipe that’s separated, and now there’s still a gap in the pipe. It’s fully cracked but it’s overlapping, and in the darkness…in the way it’s overlapping, I kinda have to go around the side. But there’s just this…you know what I mean? Cave-like, right, you're saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah, very like that. So, I find my way through. That’s where the sliver of light’s coming through. But eventually I find myself…I can't see anything 'cause it’s a bright, bright light. So, the sun would only…only on a perfectly sunny day and only at the right time and the right time of year could you see that light. I only realized that later because I had to mark my return. Yeah, then I realized the sun was in the sky. Then I looked down, and this was this valley on the other side of the tunnel. I was very concerned 'cause I said, where was I?

 

But then it was so…this smell for me and feeling something…and maybe I have a sense of smell of the wood, but it’s being attuned and…or a gut sense, 'cause I saw groves of trees. Eventually I started to find that there was a lot of agarwood in these groves. I checked my maps. Even on the maps I couldn't…I knew that this area was allowed…but it was like the curve in the tunnel…so, I knew on a map and I knew from the testing that it was legal wood, but it was like it was waiting there for me. It was like a fairytale. That’s what I’m telling you, you know, a fairytale, and that it left me a little bit dissatisfied, right? Because no one else knew about this crack in the tunnel because it was so well hidden. I started paying attention to make sure no one like Mr. Sangreed or anyone else was watching me. But even if they were, they probably would have assumed I was just cutting through one tunnel to the other side of the tunnel.

 

Even when I tried on either end of the tunnel to figure out how to get to the grove, I could never figure out how to get there, and I couldn’t quite find it on a map. So, it was a place I could only get to through the side of the tunnel. But the thing is that it is like a Pandora’s Box. I was given something, and it’s a little bit too easy, you know? I can get the wood whenever I want, or this character could if she was real or if it mattered, 'cause you're not gonna…I can tell you're not gonna tell Mr. Sangreed about any of this. Yeah, I guess that’s…then I…maybe that is…I am getting tired now thinking about…oh wow, so, that’s quite the tale. The light; I liked how you found the light and then you found your way, but yeah, that…yeah, you're a forager, right? You're a person that searches and gets in the zone and discovers thing. You're not a collector or a retriever. But it sounds like this secret grove should…these kind of tales should always remain secret, right? Yeah, yeah.

 

I mean, it could be…well, yeah, we talked about the bedtime storyteller’s code, that this is only between the two of us and the…I work for The Hotel. But I will be honest with you; The Hotel…the team…the Sundries Supervisor is my supervisor, and they’ll probably…they might want to hire you, I think. Well, what do you mean? I don't know, someone like you that can find things, that revels in finding things…maybe this grove stays your secret, right, and no one needs to know about it. But I think if…because you wouldn't want anybody to just be taking all that wood, right? Right, right. Yeah, I think this is interesting. But I think that I could talk to the Sundries Supervisor, because maybe you should just let that secret grove be, and maybe you could…The Hotel does have a need for skills like yours. Does The Hotel have a foraging program? Well, it could, it could. It could use you, I think, and I think it could introduce this sense of adventure back into your real life, this sense of purpose.

 

I mean, I’m just saying this from a bedtime story perspective; not from any other perspective. But I do enjoy this tale of the secret grove, and I’m glad you shared it with me. Yes, I’m getting tired, though. Yeah, I think you could rest, and then I’ll head outta here and rest well. Did you…did it help when I made the…? I used a sewing kit and a button to put your curtains together to make that…to try to simulate the thing you were talking about. Yeah, that was effective. A sewing kit, huh? Yeah. So, don't try to open up your blinds. I’ll let the Sundries Supervisor know about it. Sundries Supervisor and sap…I'm sleeping now. Goodnight, everybody. Yeah, goodnight. Sleep well.

 

[End of recording]

Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes

Serially Modular Series

 

History of synthetic flavors

https://www.flavorman.com/media/the-first-artificial-flavor

https://www.popsci.com/history-flavors-us-pictorial/

https://www.bonappetit.com/story/truth-about-natural-artificial-flavors?srsltid=AfmBOorXb1UAtkJ6sLEALmqVjGyqBllXWSJG1K7DRqlB75VdtCjgSt6c

 

Hotel Detective

https://www.messynessychic.com/2022/02/11/the-bygone-era-of-the-hotel-detective/

https://www.neatorama.com/2022/02/11/The-Real-Story-of-the-Hotel-Detective/

https://www.texasmonthly.com/news-politics/hotel-detective-prostitution/

 

Tripura / Agartala

https://holmad.in/interesting-facts-about-tripura-the-jewel-of-northeast-india/ 

https://www.incredibleindia.gov.in/en/tripura/agartala

https://byjus.com/social-science/capital-of-tripura/

 

Foraging

https://www.vogue.com/article/has-foraging-come-full-circle

https://www.inc.com/associated-press/heres-why-foraging-is-seeing-a-resurgence/91244962

https://www.folger.edu/blogs/shakespeare-and-beyond/rooted-in-resilience-foraging-in-the-modern-era/

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

Some sleepy joy and delight, some comfort in the deep dark night

Accidental rhyme

I hear from people at every life event

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Coyuchi

 

INTRO

I don’t get it, I even felt sleepy

Even those can become thoughts and feelings

This show is very, uh…indirect

If I can’t connect to the underlying feelings, someone else can

Sending well wishes to you

The Earth beneath the show

But all the bedrock isn’t solid

We don’t need to get into too many earth based things tonight

A bedtime without rigamarole like it was for me last night

At least I’ve got that podcast to listen to

A wind down routine

If your experience of the show doesn’t line up with the cover art, you’re not alone

It is an acquired taste

It can take 2 or 3 tries

Not nothing but almost nothing

sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou

Like a light green hard candy

Mysterious light green flavor

These tastes don’t match!

I’ve got some stories I’ve been working on

The episode is an hour so you don’t have to think about when you’re falling asleep

I’m just here to keep you company as your borefriend

Hanging out at the most comfortable distance possible

Anything repetitive in the intro would catch my attention and it wouldn’t work more than once

If you’re hearing this now, please support the show directly

Our new episodically modular series that doesn’t have a name yet

 

STORY

Welcome to our new series

Very modular. Very episodic.

But this is technically episode one

Episodic even more so

A recurring character who will have a goal each episode

This episode will probably be titled Noir Chardonnay

Antonio’s introduction

His smile and eyes make a twinkling sound

Je ne sais zhuzh

Antonio’s gravitas is beyond our understanding

Angel-side Dampener

I don’t have a HAM radio license, but I am a bit of a ham

Do you sell any dampeners before we get to Antonio?

Angels curl their wings like toes

Do angels get goosebumps?

I can only hear the sound, I can’t see it

Let’s get back to Antonio, the man who gives angels goosebumps

The man who makes my heart go zhuzh

The narrator takes over

Tonight’s protagonist: Noir Chardonnay

If this were a series, this would be a complement to the series The Hotel Detective

But this series takes place in a different hotel wherever they are

It’s a hotel chain called The Hotel [insert name place here]

Each hotel has a resident hotel detective

But this is about someone who helps out the hotel detective from time to time

Tonight’s protagonist is Noir Chardonnay

The exclusive bedtime storyteller of The Hotel

But no one knows who this storyteller really is

Self-de-perpetuating Myth

And they’re also an occasional hotel detective

I may have to explain this every time

We don’t know the name of the series yet

Tonight’s story – The Hotel Agartala (in Tripura)

A figure approaches the front desk

I’m here to check in

The name’s Noir Chardonnay

Is it Chardonnay Noir Chardonnay, or just Chardonnay, Noir Chardonnay?

We got your room request for something close to the ice machine and elevator

Unfortunately the ice machine is not working

That’s the only room available

Down the hall he sees an open door

Sundries Supervisor

NC’s room request backfired

We do have a client for you

I’m familiar with your files

There’s more than one file on me?

The team has reminded me to remind you to focus on the tasks we give you

There’s no other assignments beyond helping get the client some sleep

We don’t need anything else from you

I had to earn this trust to be trusted

Remember to follow instructions

You are good at what you do

I’ll color fully within the lines this time

The client is very niche-famous

A forager, not a forger

One of the greatest foragers in the world

She’s been her a while

She’s foraging a rare wood

The wood is very rare and regulated here

She’ll tell you more about this wood

If any wood is discovered to be sold, well…

This table here is made of this wood

It’s called agarwood

It’s very rare, and it’s easy to trace

It’s easy to figure out if someone is growing it without a permit

So she found a secret stash

And her work has drawn other people’s attention as well

It’s in the hotel’s interest to find the location of this wood and confirm how she’s finding it

We just need some clues

We don’t need you to find the wood, you just do what you do

Someone else is interested, and she’s having dinner with him right now

He represents an agarwood consortium

He cannot find out where she’s getting the wood from

She knows you’re arriving today but not that you’re here now

Do I get any gadgets?

Maybe a laser watch?

Oh yes you get one sewing kit

A very special sewing kit

All these sewing materials can be easily concealed in your pocket

No hidden lasers in this

Stepping into my office

The Hotels are always in an interesting place, if not the most famous place 

This Hotel is in a former water palace

Like a fairy tale castle floating on the water

An indoor outdoor restaurant

The entire lake is a giant wetland

Checking in with the maitre d’ of the restaurant

I’m the Pillow Softener

I forgot the name of my client

Ms. Maple!

Meeting Ms. Maple and her guest

This is my guest, Mr. Sangreed

They just finished discussing business

Mr. Sangreed is confused by NC’s job

I offer sleep services for hotel guests

I am famous with the people I’m famous for

Mr. Chardonnay was my mother’s father, call me Noir

I’ve helped a lot of famous people sleep

Yeah, it’s no joke

Mr. Sangreed thinks he can do better than NC

How come Ms. Maple hasn’t put out any foraging videos since she’s been here

NC and Mr. Sangreed debate if NC can put people to sleep

Sangreed is highly skeptical

Seems like you’re in the nonsense business

Let’s consider this business diner finished

Ms. Maple heads off to her room

NC and Sangreed go back and forth until the bill arrives

NC gets back to his room and realizes he’s made an error

Pacing until there’s a knock at the door

The Sundries Supervisor

What did you do?

Ms. Maple complained about NC
NC has to fix this

He invites Ms. Maple to an apology brunch the next morning

Ms. Maple looks over maps

NC apologizes for his behavior

Let’s walk and talk so I can get to know you and do a good custom bedtime story for you

Walking and talking

Heading out to Heritage Park

A miniature train set of the entire region

Discussing agarwood

Are you into metaphors?

But it’s the aqualaria tree (not nearly as valuable)

But the Aqualaria tree can become agarwood if it gets a scrapey scrape

A friend joins the scrapey scrape

A philioflora

The friend makes resin which grows over time

This organic friendship is rare

The resin is very fragrant and powerful

The scent can pass into spiritual realms

The spirit of welcomeness

Permanent Incense

An incredibly complex scent profile

The older, the better

They grow and harvest generations of the tree

You’re not allowed to just cut down the trees anymore

It’s so heavy and dense that it can sink in water!

Somehow, Ms. Maple has found some

We’ve paused by a couple train tunnels

Train tunnels always carry away my imagination

That dude from dinner is quite persistent

They want to maximize more uses out of the wood that I’ve found for him

But I don’t trust that

Maple and Sangreed have proposals for each other later today

Is this around when the sleep stuff started? Technically, yes

How does this apply to a bedtime story?

A lot of times there has to be a return

A soft release

She’s going to meet Sangreed at an office nearby

They part ways

NC hurries off to this other palace building

He finds the office of Sangreed

He knocks on the door

He may have used the sewing kit to unlock the door

This office is overstuffed with agarwood furnishings

He opens an armoire and hides in it

NC listens in on Sangreed and Maple

She has a bag of sap with her

If Sangreed covers himself with sap, she might go forward with his proposal

What’s really in the sap?

Some other stuff…

Sap inspectors surprise arrive

They take him away

Ms. Maple’s Wind Down Routine

Noir Chardonnay tells her tale from across the room

Closing the blinds

NC tells Maple that he was hiding in the armoire

Maple demands honesty

There’s not a simple and understandable answer

Sometimes I just do stuff impulsively and I want to fix things

Mixing up my daydream and fantasy lifes

Maybe I can rebuild trust with you through this bedtime story

Maybe I’ve been sewing these curtains while we’ve been talking
I’ve been thinking about those train tunnels

Something is missing from your foraging

Imagine we’re in that train tunnel

We head towards a sliver of light

A light is shining through and hitting the wall at an angle

Going to the other side of the tunnel

Kind of cavé-like

Heading towards this bright light

You can only see the light in this tunnel at a very specific time of the year

A valley is on the other side of the tunnel

Smelling and feeling something…

Agarwood is in these groves!

Legal wood, waiting for me like in a fairy tale

No one else knew about this crack in the tunnel

I could only get to this grove from the side of the tunnel

It’s kind of like a Pandora’s Box

I’m getting tired thinking about all this

That’s quite the tale

These kinds of groves should always be a secret

The Bedtime Storyteller’s Code

Being honest with Ms. Maple about the Sundries Supervisor

But the hotel might want to hire you

Someone who revels in finding things

I sewed your curtains together to make that little light crack

Don’t try to open your blinds yet

Goodnight and sleep well

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1442

Title: Forager | Checking Into Boredom

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Coyuchi

Notable Language:

• Not nothing but almost nothing
• Very modular. Very episodic.
• Episodic even more so
• Noir Chardonnay
• Je ne sais zhuzh
• Angel-side Dampener
• Hotel
• Self-de-perpetuating Myth
• Sundries Supervisor
• Niche Famous
• Agarwood Consortium
• A very special sewing kit
• The Pillow Softener
• Seems like you’re in the nonsense business
• Philioflora
• The spirit of welcomeness
• Permanent Incense
• An incredibly complex scent profile
• A soft release
• Overstuffed with agarwood furnishings
• Sap Safety Team
• Kind of cavé-like

 

Notable Culture:

• • sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
  • Antonio Banderas
  • The Hotel Detective

• The White Lotus

• Tripura, India
• Agarwood
• Pandora’s Box

 

Notable Talking Points:

• I don’t get it, I even felt sleepy
• Even those can become thoughts and feelings
• This show is very, uh…indirect
• If I can’t connect to the underlying feelings, someone else can
• Sending well wishes to you
• The Earth beneath the show
• But all the bedrock isn’t solid
• We don’t need to get into too many earth based things tonight
• A bedtime without rigamarole like it was for me last night
• At least I’ve got that podcast to listen to
• A wind down routine
• If your experience of the show doesn’t line up with the cover art, you’re not alone
• It is an acquired taste
• It can take 2 or 3 tries
• Not nothing but almost nothing
• sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou
• Like a light green hard candy
• Mysterious light green flavor
• These tastes don’t match!
• I’ve got some stories I’ve been working on
• The episode is an hour so you don’t have to think about when you’re falling asleep
• I’m just here to keep you company as your borefriend
• Hanging out at the most comfortable distance possible
• Anything repetitive in the intro would catch my attention and it wouldn’t work more than once
• If you’re hearing this now, please support the show directly
• Our new episodically modular series that doesn’t have a name yet
• Welcome to our new series
• Very modular. Very episodic.
• But this is technically episode one
• Episodic even more so
• A recurring character who will have a goal each episode
• This episode will probably be titled Noir Chardonnay
• Antonio’s introduction
• His smile and eyes make a twinkling sound
• Je ne sais zhuzh
• Antonio’s gravitas is beyond our understanding
• Angel-side Dampener
• I don’t have a HAM radio license, but I am a bit of a ham
• Do you sell any dampeners before we get to Antonio?
• Angels curl their wings like toes
• Do angels get goosebumps?
• I can only hear the sound, I can’t see it
• Let’s get back to Antonio, the man who gives angels goosebumps
• The man who makes my heart go zhuzh
• The narrator takes over
• Tonight’s protagonist: Noir Chardonnay
• If this were a series, this would be a complement to the series The Hotel Detective
• But this series takes place in a different hotel wherever they are
• It’s a hotel chain called The Hotel [insert name place here]
• Each hotel has a resident hotel detective
• But this is about someone who helps out the hotel detective from time to time
• Tonight’s protagonist is Noir Chardonnay
• The exclusive bedtime storyteller of The Hotel
• But no one knows who this storyteller really is
• Self-de-perpetuating Myth
• And they’re also an occasional hotel detective
• I may have to explain this every time
• We don’t know the name of the series yet
• Tonight’s story – The Hotel Agartala (in Tripura)
• A figure approaches the front desk
• I’m here to check in
• The name’s Noir Chardonnay
• Is it Chardonnay Noir Chardonnay, or just Chardonnay, Noir Chardonnay?
• We got your room request for something close to the ice machine and elevator
• Unfortunately the ice machine is not working
• That’s the only room available
• Down the hall he sees an open door
• Sundries Supervisor
• NC’s room request backfired
• We do have a client for you
• I’m familiar with your files
• There’s more than one file on me?
• The team has reminded me to remind you to focus on the tasks we give you
• There’s no other assignments beyond helping get the client some sleep
• We don’t need anything else from you
• I had to earn this trust to be trusted
• Remember to follow instructions
• You are good at what you do
• I’ll color fully within the lines this time
• The client is very niche-famous
• A forager, not a forger
• One of the greatest foragers in the world
• She’s been her a while
• She’s foraging a rare wood
• The wood is very rare and regulated here
• She’ll tell you more about this wood
• If any wood is discovered to be sold, well…
• This table here is made of this wood
• It’s called agarwood
• It’s very rare, and it’s easy to trace
• It’s easy to figure out if someone is growing it without a permit
• So she found a secret stash
• And her work has drawn other people’s attention as well
• It’s in the hotel’s interest to find the location of this wood and confirm how she’s finding it
• We just need some clues
• We don’t need you to find the wood, you just do what you do
• Someone else is interested, and she’s having dinner with him right now
• He represents an agarwood consortium
• He cannot find out where she’s getting the wood from
• She knows you’re arriving today but not that you’re here now
• Do I get any gadgets?
• Maybe a laser watch?
• Oh yes you get one sewing kit
• A very special sewing kit
• All these sewing materials can be easily concealed in your pocket
• No hidden lasers in this
• Stepping into my office
• The Hotels are always in an interesting place, if not the most famous place 
• This Hotel is in a former water palace
• Like a fairy tale castle floating on the water
• An indoor outdoor restaurant
• The entire lake is a giant wetland
• Checking in with the maitre d’ of the restaurant
• I’m the Pillow Softener
• I forgot the name of my client
• Ms. Maple!
• Meeting Ms. Maple and her guest
• This is my guest, Mr. Sangreed
• They just finished discussing business
• Mr. Sangreed is confused by NC’s job
• I offer sleep services for hotel guests
• I am famous with the people I’m famous for
• Mr. Chardonnay was my mother’s father, call me Noir
• I’ve helped a lot of famous people sleep
• Yeah, it’s no joke
• Mr. Sangreed thinks he can do better than NC
• How come Ms. Maple hasn’t put out any foraging videos since she’s been here
• NC and Mr. Sangreed debate if NC can put people to sleep
• Sangreed is highly skeptical
• Seems like you’re in the nonsense business
• Let’s consider this business diner finished
• Ms. Maple heads off to her room
• NC and Sangreed go back and forth until the bill arrives
• NC gets back to his room and realizes he’s made an error
• Pacing until there’s a knock at the door
• The Sundries Supervisor
• What did you do?
• Ms. Maple complained about NC
  NC has to fix this
• He invites Ms. Maple to an apology brunch the next morning
• Ms. Maple looks over maps
• NC apologizes for his behavior
• Let’s walk and talk so I can get to know you and do a good custom bedtime story for you
• Walking and talking
• Heading out to Heritage Park
• A miniature train set of the entire region
• Discussing agarwood
• Are you into metaphors?
• But it’s the aqualaria tree (not nearly as valuable)
• But the Aqualaria tree can become agarwood if it gets a scrapey scrape
• A friend joins the scrapey scrape
• A philioflora
• The friend makes resin which grows over time
• This organic friendship is rare
• The resin is very fragrant and powerful
• The scent can pass into spiritual realms
• The spirit of welcomeness
• Permanent Incense
• An incredibly complex scent profile
• The older, the better
• They grow and harvest generations of the tree
• You’re not allowed to just cut down the trees anymore
• It’s so heavy and dense that it can sink in water!
• Somehow, Ms. Maple has found some
• We’ve paused by a couple train tunnels
• Train tunnels always carry away my imagination
• That dude from dinner is quite persistent
• They want to maximize more uses out of the wood that I’ve found for him
• But I don’t trust that
• Maple and Sangreed have proposals for each other later today
• Is this around when the sleep stuff started? Technically, yes
• How does this apply to a bedtime story?
• A lot of times there has to be a return
• A soft release
• She’s going to meet Sangreed at an office nearby
• They part ways
• NC hurries off to this other palace building
• He finds the office of Sangreed
• He knocks on the door
• He may have used the sewing kit to unlock the door
• This office is overstuffed with agarwood furnishings
• He opens an armoire and hides in it
• NC listens in on Sangreed and Maple
• She has a bag of sap with her
• If Sangreed covers himself with sap, she might go forward with his proposal
• What’s really in the sap?
• Some other stuff…
• Sap inspectors surprise arrive
• They take him away
• Ms. Maple’s Wind Down Routine
• Noir Chardonnay tells her tale from across the room
• Closing the blinds
• NC tells Maple that he was hiding in the armoire
• Maple demands honesty
• There’s not a simple and understandable answer
• Sometimes I just do stuff impulsively and I want to fix things
• Mixing up my daydream and fantasy lifes
• Maybe I can rebuild trust with you through this bedtime story
• Maybe I’ve been sewing these curtains while we’ve been talking
  I’ve been thinking about those train tunnels
• Something is missing from your foraging
• Imagine we’re in that train tunnel
• We head towards a sliver of light
• A light is shining through and hitting the wall at an angle
• Going to the other side of the tunnel
• Kind of cavé-like
• Heading towards this bright light
• You can only see the light in this tunnel at a very specific time of the year
• A valley is on the other side of the tunnel
• Smelling and feeling something…
• Agarwood is in these groves!
• Legal wood, waiting for me like in a fairy tale
• No one else knew about this crack in the tunnel
• I could only get to this grove from the side of the tunnel
• It’s kind of like a Pandora’s Box
• I’m getting tired thinking about all this
• That’s quite the tale
• These kinds of groves should always be a secret
• The Bedtime Storyteller’s Code
• Being honest with Ms. Maple about the Sundries Supervisor
• But the hotel might want to hire you
• Someone who revels in finding things
• I sewed your curtains together to make that little light crack
• Don’t try to open your blinds yet
• Goodnight and sleep well