1373 – Patisserie Week | Great British Bake You Off to Sleep C8/S11 E9
This semifinal will prove to be a cornucopia of sleepiness as I make peace with a judgment and mispronounce a word for an hour straight.
-
GBBO
Kringles
https://www.eater.com/24308939/kringle-trader-joes-wisconsin-history-o-and-h-bakery
GBBO C8/S11 E9
https://jenrosewrites.blog/2020/11/17/the-great-british-bake-off-season-11-episode-9-my-thoughts/
https://www.vulture.com/article/great-british-baking-show-episode-9-recap-ptisserie-week-2020.html
https://london.eater.com/21572298/great-british-bake-off-patisserie-week-2020-gbbo-catch-up
Cornucopia
https://agamerica.com/blog/thankful-for-ag-the-history-of-cornucopia/
https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/from-zeus-to-williamssonoma-the-history-of-the-cornucopia
Savarin Cakes
https://franglosaxon.com/savarin/
https://www.roadtopastry.com/blog/pastry-culture/pastry-history-what-is-a-savarin
DOWN TO BUSINESS
Hello bakers!
Tonight we’ll cover GBBO ep 9
I was surprised by this one (but in a sleepy way)
PLUGS
Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline
SPONSORS
Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Quince; Odoo
INTRO
A mild distraction to all that
If you don’t like me, that’s okay
Whatever’s keeping you up, it’s probably not a good thing
The Kringle Season
Christopher Kringle, please meet Christopher Cross
Please go to sleep so I can help the kringling
I didn’t sleep good the night before my daughter’s birthday because I was trying to surprise her with some balloons
I didn’t want to be in a grouchy mood for my daughter
We’re rooting for you right now
Sleep With Me: Feeling Good Is Optional
Indirect Pseudo-Intimacy
An indirectly warm place
You’re probably tired, skeptical, and irritable right now
You’re right, this is nonsense
I’m here to keep you company and distract you
No pressure to fall asleep
Your Borefriend
An intentional structure to the show
The structure of the show is like a slow-moving ship
We believe in being there for you
STORY
Episode 9 – Patisserie Week
Wait a second, I don’t remember this?!
Is this the wrong season?
Whoops
User Error by Scoots
Noel wrote a song about patisserie
Noel and Matt dance and sing and spin
Semifinals
I’ll try to be as positive about this episode as I can
Hermine is at a pro level of patisserie, imo
Laura isn’t too confident
Dave is nervous
Everyone is nervous about Hermine because this is her wheelhouse
Noel and Matt have different print shirts on
Signature Challenge
12 identical savarin cakes
Soaked in a syrup of your choosing
A strange dough
You say sovereign, I say savarin
Prue’s lovely red shirt
You’ll have to prove it less in this heat wave
Silky smooth dough
Hermine – Rum baba, glazed with apricot jam, vanilla creme pate
Hermine has won star baker twice
Laura – also doing a baba, poached pineapple, kiwi, passionfruit, rum syrup
Don’t let Paul get in your head, Laura
Dave – bread-type cake, all the flavo comes from the cake, spices, rum, honey, tequila, passionfruit
That reminds me of a Phish song
Peter is doing an NA one – I could have that one
Don’t overcomplicate it
Peter – elderflower cordial, lemon juice, water, sugar
A teetotaler savarin
Lemon creme diplomat
“Don’t make mistakes” – thanks so much, Paul
Peter has to get back to his whole self
Fun punching down the dough
First Prove is done
Time to pipe this sticky substance
Time for 2nd proving
30 minutes to prove
Rapidly rising
A lot of floral prints in the tent today
Hermine is in a denim color
Matt mentions a few characters I don’t know anything about
A fairly quick bake
Peter would rather be overbaked than under
Dave’s might be too dark
Hermine’s might be underproved
She’s gonna start over!
Her babas are back at the beginning
Saturate the cake – no dry spots
Does a tiramisu count as a soaked cake?
Flava Flav would say Sov-rone
12 mango flowers
Time is up!
Okay, now I get it
Hermine puts hers in the freezer to cool them down
And it seems like they ignored that this happened
The edit was not soothing for me, so I’ll just tell it to you straight
So when time is up, they cut to Hermine putting hers in the freezer
Her face tells the truth – it’s not at her station
Should that technically be a zero?
Judgment Time
Hermine – beautiful color, great look – how did they get out of the freezer?
Great flavor, underproved
Is this judgment just for show?
Another theory of mine
Would they not officially judge them but do it for the edit?
Or is this her first batch that she previously abandoned?
Laura – great color, looks scrumptious, messy icing, different sizes, needs more rum, lovely, light sponge, overspiced – Laura is like a rough diamond that needs polishing
Dave – Still soaking, light texture, lovely, don’t like the curd on the bottom, great flavor
Peter – neat, uniform, soaked, delicious without the booze, mouth-watering AND HE GETS A HANDSHAKE FROM PAUL
Laura is getting bored with her usual comments
Hermine is disappointed
Dave feels underwhelmed
Hermine’s disappointment doesn’t line up with how her food was judged
Technical Challenge
It’s about methodical precision
A Danish Celebration Cake aka a Horn of Plenty
No one could picture this
Cornucopias feel very welcome
A tapered cigar shape to make a horn – what?
I love almond flavors
Making the dough with almond flavor
Crisp outside, chewy inside
Gotta work fast
Shaping templates from Paul
I’ve never seen a cigar that looks like that
People can’t wrap their heads around the shape
Laura is having a tough time
Laura wants a glass of gin after this
Helping each other with the shape
Laura forgot to turn her oven on!
Piped chocolate scrolls
Leave Hermine alone, Noel!
Hermine is judging Noel’s French
Wow, this is definitely not my thing
Peter’s are a little overcooked
Should they be cracked?
Royal Icing Time
Hermine’s look a little more professional
Make caramel to glue it together
Laura doesn’t have time to measure out sugar
Dave always has trouble with caramel
Laura calls it a Tower of Doom
One ring horn to rule them all
Peter slowly assembles
It looks like a tree in Whoville
Whoville Cookie Horn Tree
Hermine gets the right shape
Not to be mean, but Laura’s is just a mess
Dave – Who Tree
Peter – a tower on its side
Hermine – a cornucopia
Laura – a tower on its side
Judgment Time
Dave – no chocolate, too hard, overbaked, bone dry, lovely flavor
Peter – not a horn, nicer icing, some biscuits are overbaked
Laura – all over the place, almost raw
Hermine – nice shape, overbaked, softer, okay flavors
Laura gets last place
3rd is Dave
2nd is Hermine
1st is Peter!
Anything could happen tomorrow
Hermine seems happy
This still doesn’t make sense
Showstopper Challenge
Cube Cake
25 mini cubes, shaped into a cake
You’ll get extra points if the whole thing is edible
Time to bake from the heart
Rubik’s Cube Patisserie Precision
Amateurs pushing themselves to be professionals
Peter – chocolate raspberry pistachio cube cake, 3 flavors, 3 sponges, 3 mousses and glazes
Peter hopes practice makes perfect
Hermine goes into the unknown – she made up this new recipe yesterday!
Hermine – strawberry cherry and coffee giaconde – fortune favors the bold flavor
Dave – chocolate cube cake – white, milk, or dark chocolate or liquid caramel centers
Who’re you calling chocolate cube cake?
Peter listens to his cakes
Somebody split their cream
Laura – Black Forest Gateau for her dad
This is one of Prue’s favorite cakes
Trying to get the right thicknesses with gelatin
Noel wore gelatin shoes in the 70s
Laura is happy with her cakes
Everything has to set
Dave is having trouble with caramel again
Halfway through
Red molds for setting stuff
Peter is going to cut his to be extra neat
It’s really hot in the tent
Peter’s go in the freezer
I’m probably messier than Laura
Not everything is setting for Hermine
Laura and Dave have to cut theirs out of the cube molds
Peter is cutting his neatly
Not going well for Hermine
Laura’s glaze isn’t sticking
Hermine’s are jelly-like
This has not gone like practice
Laura and Hermine are both overwhelmed
10 minutes left
Time for final decoration
Don’t tempt fate by calling them perfect, Peter!
Laura wishes her mirror glaze worked
Hermien and Laura aren’t happy with their work
Dave and Peter are happier with their cakes
Judgment Time
Dave – neat, uniform, tidy, a triumph! Oozy caramel, great improvement
Laura – melting, looks messy, delicious flavor and texture
Peter – clever, complicated, set beautifully, all delicious, smashed it
Hermine – melting, not quite set, stodgy, bouncy – a failure by Hermine’s standards
Hermine seems pretty low
Between Hermine and Laura
Peter and Dave are top
Star Baker is Peter!
I feel weird about this
Hermine is going home
I’m sure Hermine will be successful no matter what
It makes more sense watching it back
But it still stings for me
Laura is so happy to be in the final
Prue is very proud of Dave’s improvement
This one was a tough watch for me
We’ll be back with the finale soon
Goodnight
SUMMARY:
Episode: 1373
Title: Patisserie Week | Great British Bake You Off to Sleep C8/S11 E9
Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus;SleepPhones;Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline
Sponsors: Helix Sleep;Zocdoc; Progressive; Quince;Odoo
Notable Language:
- The Kringle Season
- Feeling Good Is Optional
- Indirect Pseudo-Intimacy
- Patisserie
- Savarin
- A teetotaler savarin
- Cornucopia
- Royal Icing Time
- Whoville Cookie Horn Tree
- Rubik’s Cube Patisserie Precision
- Fortune favors the bold flavor
Notable Culture:
-
- Trader Joe’s
- Christopher Cross
- Freddie Mercury
- Ziggie Stardust / David Bowie
- Phish
- Babar
- Pingu
-
- Flava Flav
- Universal Studios Orlando
- The Lord of the Rings
- How the Grinch Stole Christmas
-
- Rubik’s Cube
- The Chronicles of Narnia
Notable Talking Points:
- A mild distraction to all that
- If you don’t like me, that’s okay
- Whatever’s keeping you up, it’s probably not a good thing
- The Kringle Season
- Christopher Kringle, please meet Christopher Cross
- Please go to sleep so I can help the kringling
- I didn’t sleep good the night before my daughter’s birthday because I was trying to surprise her with some balloons
- I didn’t want to be in a grouchy mood for my daughter
- We’re rooting for you right now
- Sleep With Me: Feeling Good Is Optional
- Indirect Pseudo-Intimacy
- An indirectly warm place
- You’re probably tired, skeptical, and irritable right now
- You’re right, this is nonsense
- I’m here to keep you company and distract you
- No pressure to fall asleep
- Your Borefriend
- An intentional structure to the show
- The structure of the show is like a slow-moving ship
- We believe in being there for you
- Episode 9 – Patisserie Week
- Wait a second, I don’t remember this?!
- Is this the wrong season?
- Whoops
- User Error by Scoots
- Noel wrote a song about patisserie
- Noel and Matt dance and sing and spin
- Semifinals
- I’ll try to be as positive about this episode as I can
- Hermine is at a pro level of patisserie, imo
- Laura isn’t too confident
- Dave is nervous
- Everyone is nervous about Hermine because this is her wheelhouse
- Noel and Matt have different print shirts on
- Signature Challenge
- 12 identical savarin cakes
- Soaked in a syrup of your choosing
- A strange dough
- You say sovereign, I say savarin
- Prue’s lovely red shirt
- You’ll have to prove it less in this heat wave
- Silky smooth dough
- Hermine – Rum baba, glazed with apricot jam, vanilla creme pate
- Hermine has won star baker twice
- Laura – also doing a baba, poached pineapple, kiwi, passionfruit, rum syrup
- Don’t let Paul get in your head, Laura
- Dave – bread-type cake, all the flavo comes from the cake, spices, rum, honey, tequila, passionfruit
- That reminds me of a Phish song
- Peter is doing an NA one – I could have that one
- Don’t overcomplicate it
- Peter – elderflower cordial, lemon juice, water, sugar
- A teetotaler savarin
- Lemon creme diplomat
- “Don’t make mistakes” – thanks so much, Paul
- Peter has to get back to his whole self
- Fun punching down the dough
- First Prove is done
- Time to pipe this sticky substance
- Time for 2nd proving
- 30 minutes to prove
- Rapidly rising
- A lot of floral prints in the tent today
- Hermine is in a denim color
- Matt mentions a few characters I don’t know anything about
- A fairly quick bake
- Peter would rather be overbaked than under
- Dave’s might be too dark
- Hermine’s might be underproved
- She’s gonna start over!
- Her babas are back at the beginning
- Saturate the cake – no dry spots
- Does a tiramisu count as a soaked cake?
- Flava Flav would say Sov-rone
- 12 mango flowers
- Time is up!
- Okay, now I get it
- Hermine puts hers in the freezer to cool them down
- And it seems like they ignored that this happened
- The edit was not soothing for me, so I’ll just tell it to you straight
- So when time is up, they cut to Hermine putting hers in the freezer
- Her face tells the truth – it’s not at her station
- Should that technically be a zero?
- Judgment Time
- Hermine – beautiful color, great look – how did they get out of the freezer?
- Great flavor, underproved
- Is this judgment just for show?
- Another theory of mine
- Would they not officially judge them but do it for the edit?
- Or is this her first batch that she previously abandoned?
- Laura – great color, looks scrumptious, messy icing, different sizes, needs more rum, lovely, light sponge, overspiced – Laura is like a rough diamond that needs polishing
- Dave – Still soaking, light texture, lovely, don’t like the curd on the bottom, great flavor
- Peter – neat, uniform, soaked, delicious without the booze, mouth-watering AND HE GETS A HANDSHAKE FROM PAUL
- Laura is getting bored with her usual comments
- Hermine is disappointed
- Dave feels underwhelmed
- Hermine’s disappointment doesn’t line up with how her food was judged
- Technical Challenge
- It’s about methodical precision
- A Danish Celebration Cake aka a Horn of Plenty
- No one could picture this
- Cornucopias feel very welcome
- A tapered cigar shape to make a horn – what?
- I love almond flavors
- Making the dough with almond flavor
- Crisp outside, chewy inside
- Gotta work fast
- Shaping templates from Paul
- I’ve never seen a cigar that looks like that
- People can’t wrap their heads around the shape
- Laura is having a tough time
- Laura wants a glass of gin after this
- Helping each other with the shape
- Laura forgot to turn her oven on!
- Piped chocolate scrolls
- Leave Hermine alone, Noel!
- Hermine is judging Noel’s French
- Wow, this is definitely not my thing
- Peter’s are a little overcooked
- Should they be cracked?
- Royal Icing Time
- Hermine’s look a little more professional
- Make caramel to glue it together
- Laura doesn’t have time to measure out sugar
- Dave always has trouble with caramel
- Laura calls it a Tower of Doom
- One ring horn to rule them all
- Peter slowly assembles
- It looks like a tree in Whoville
- Whoville Cookie Horn Tree
- Hermine gets the right shape
- Not to be mean, but Laura’s is just a mess
- Dave – Who Tree
- Peter – a tower on its side
- Hermine – a cornucopia
- Laura – a tower on its side
- Judgment Time
- Dave – no chocolate, too hard, overbaked, bone dry, lovely flavor
- Peter – not a horn, nicer icing, some biscuits are overbaked
- Laura – all over the place, almost raw
- Hermine – nice shape, overbaked, softer, okay flavors
- Laura gets last place
- 3rd is Dave
- 2nd is Hermine
- 1st is Peter!
- Anything could happen tomorrow
- Hermine seems happy
- This still doesn’t make sense
- Showstopper Challenge
- Cube Cake
- 25 mini cubes, shaped into a cake
- You’ll get extra points if the whole thing is edible
- Time to bake from the heart
- Rubik’s Cube Patisserie Precision
- Amateurs pushing themselves to be professionals
- Peter – chocolate raspberry pistachio cube cake, 3 flavors, 3 sponges, 3 mousses and glazes
- Peter hopes practice makes perfect
- Hermine goes into the unknown – she made up this new recipe yesterday!
- Hermine – strawberry cherry and coffee giaconde – fortune favors the bold flavor
- Dave – chocolate cube cake – white, milk, or dark chocolate or liquid caramel centers
- Who’re you calling chocolate cube cake?
- Peter listens to his cakes
- Somebody split their cream
- Laura – Black Forest Gateau for her dad
- This is one of Prue’s favorite cakes
- Trying to get the right thicknesses with gelatin
- Noel wore gelatin shoes in the 70s
- Laura is happy with her cakes
- Everything has to set
- Dave is having trouble with caramel again
- Halfway through
- Red molds for setting stuff
- Peter is going to cut his to be extra neat
- It’s really hot in the tent
- Peter’s go in the freezer
- I’m probably messier than Laura
- Not everything is setting for Hermine
- Laura and Dave have to cut theirs out of the cube molds
- Peter is cutting his neatly
- Not going well for Hermine
- Laura’s glaze isn’t sticking
- Hermine’s are jelly-like
- This has not gone like practice
- Laura and Hermine are both overwhelmed
- 10 minutes left
- Time for final decoration
- Don’t tempt fate by calling them perfect, Peter!
- Laura wishes her mirror glaze worked
- Hermien and Laura aren’t happy with their work
- Dave and Peter are happier with their cakes
- Judgment Time
- Dave – neat, uniform, tidy, a triumph! Oozy caramel, great improvement
- Laura – melting, looks messy, delicious flavor and texture
- Peter – clever, complicated, set beautifully, all delicious, smashed it
- Hermine – melting, not quite set, stodgy, bouncy – a failure by Hermine’s standards
- Hermine seems pretty low
- Between Hermine and Laura
- Peter and Dave are top
- Star Baker is Peter!
- I feel weird about this
- Hermine is going home
- I’m sure Hermine will be successful no matter what
- It makes more sense watching it back
- But it still stings for me
- Laura is so happy to be in the final
- Prue is very proud of Dave’s improvement
- This one was a tough watch for me
- We’ll be back with the finale soon
- Goodnight
-
Episode 1373 – Patisserie Week | Great British Bake You Off to Sleep C8/S11 E9
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and bakers…hello, bakers. It’s time for the podcaster who is here to put you to sleep, keep you company, take your mind off of stuff, to be your friend in the deep, dark night. Welcome, if you're new. This is a friendly show to keep you company and distract you, to give you something somewhat nice to listen to and think about here in the deep, dark night, to be your goofy friend. Tonight we’ll cover Great British Bake Off, Episode 9 and, wow, this one, I did…I’ll tell you in a sleepy way; I was surprised by this one. But don't worry 'cause you could…you won't even know what I’m talking about if you listen to it. You could always listen during the day.
But yeah, this is a podcast that’s here to keep you company if you're new, take your mind off of stuff. Structurally, we got coming up…support so that paying for the podcast is optional, then a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, and then we’ll talk about Bake Off. So, yeah, I’m glad you're here. If you're new, welcome. Just see how it goes. It takes a couple…people a few tries. If you're a regular listener, if you're a super-listener and this podcast makes your life better, think about opting in and supporting the show back so we could be here for you and for everybody else. So, yeah, what do you say…? Oh, and if you're interested in that, these are the ways we're able to do it for you.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. That could be thoughts, things on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thinking thoughts, physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be going through something, you could be in the middle of something, getting over something, you could be…you could work a new schedule, a different shift, you could have guests or be traveling.
Whatever it is, what I’m gonna do here is take your mind off of stuff and keep you company so you don’t…like a mild distraction to all that. So…and the only reason I kinda list all that stuff is for a couple pieces…so that you could feel seen and get some good, positive news. But it’s really the reasons I make the show and the reason that it works for the people it works for, which is not everybody, and I’ll talk about that, too. If it doesn't work for you, it’s okay. If you don’t like me, that’s okay, too. But everything I say here is actually gonna be true even if you strongly dislike me. The thing is, whatever it is that you're dealing with that brought you here, it probably doesn't feel good. Even if it’s like a good thing, like a…like, the holiday season, kids have trouble sleeping, right?
But to nobody…they're waiting for the old Kringle to get there, right, even though this isn't the Kringle season, though at Trader Joe’s it might be Kringle season, but it’s a different kind of Kringle. It’s like a pastry. But…the Kringle season…what was I talking about? Oh, so when it’s the Kringle season, the kids can't sleep a lot of times 'cause they're like, oh boy, I gotta get up and see if Kringle came by, Christopher Kringle. Christopher Kringle’s the name; delivering presents…being alluded to as a present-delivery person is my game right now. Thanks…Chris Kringle, Chris Cross, I’d like both of you to meet each other, though it’s Chris…we're both Christophers. Neither one of us…oh, okay. Sorry about that. Let me just…Chris Cross, can you please step out of here? Because I’m in the middle of something. Please, sail away.
Thank you. Christopher Kringle…oh, so the Christopher Kringle season…kids are like, oh boy, I can't sleep 'cause I gotta see if Kringle came. Then if you're an adult in that house, you say, you gotta go to sleep so I can help Kringle…help the Kringling. Those are positive reasons you can't sleep, or if it’s your…actually, I think this was a positive reason; my daughter’s birthday was just recently, and I didn’t sleep good the night before. I was trying to surprise her with some balloons. I don't know if that was the whole reason I couldn't sleep, but I had a terrible night’s sleep. I guess my point is why…? For whatever reason you can't sleep, it probably has feelings related to it, right, or…and the physical sensations and thoughts. But there’s something below all that stuff. There’s another layer of feelings, right?
I know what that feels like for me, even when I couldn't sleep at my daughter’s birthday. I was like, man, this stinks, 'cause what if I get in a grouchy mood or whatever and not be…? It wasn’t like…I fell asleep but I kept waking up, kinda thing. So, I had feelings about that, and I think we can relate about those things. Even if I don't know what you're going through, I know what it feels like for me, and if it feels anything like that for you, I feel for you and I hope I can help by telling you a bedtime story so you could get the rest you need, because you deserve a good night's sleep. You deserve the rest you need so your life is more manageable tomorrow and that you can get the rest you need so on a ongoing basis your life is better. Now, the other thing is there’s people listening around the world and there’s regular listeners.
There’s people who listen all the time, who have been listening for years, and right now they're in bed thinking of you in the same way I am. We're doing this together in a indirect way. They're saying, man…and some of those people have been through something very similar to whatever’s keeping you awake or getting in the way, whatever brought you here, and they're glad you're here. They are rooting for you. They're not just seeing you in a indirect way; they're rooting for you, because they say, I hope this podcast helped you…helps you like it helped me. I hope it can finally give you some relief like it did for me. The thing is, for the people that are doing it right now, it feels good, and maybe for you…maybe if you're new, it doesn't feel good yet, but it will at some point, or…but it doesn't have to. Even that’s optional.
Sleep With Me; feeling good is optional. But it’s just important to point out that this is a nice place. It’s not as foo-foo as that normally or whatever word you want to use. Fan…I don't know what you call it. Directly care…we do indirect caring here, or intimacy…indirect…pseudo-intimacy. Holy cow, have I been…talk about…but you know what I mean. This is that kinda indirectly-warm place. So, I’m glad you're here. I hope we can help you out. The way it works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents. I go off topic, I get mixed up, I forget what I was talking about, then I double back, then I repeat myself, I get confused, I use filler words, my thoughts stall out, all those things 'cause I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff, not put you to sleep.
That does take some getting used to. If you got here through a search or through a recommendation, you're probably tired. You're probably skeptical, you're probably doubtful, you're probably irritable. I am. I mean, I normally am in all those situations. Alls I can tell you is give this show a few tries and see how it goes. You got nothing to lose, but it does take some getting used to, 'cause you probably got here…you said, I thought you were gonna put me to sleep. This is a popular sleep podcast? I thought…this isn't sleepy at all. This is nonsense. I say, yeah, it is. You're right. So, just see how it goes, 'cause this is a podcast you don’t exactly listen to. You just kinda barely listen. It’s a bit like background noise you could listen to or a TV on in the other room or a show streaming under your pillow or music on the wind.
Maybe Christopher Cross…you say, yeah, not during the pod…you could sing on your boat down the…whatever. What, are you in a boat in the clouds, anyway? I have no idea. So, yeah, it’s kinda like elevated background noise or a out-of-focus picture. I guess sometimes when you first get here, it could be as frustrating as a out-of-focus picture. So, just give it a few tries and see how it goes. I’m also not here to put you to sleep, believe it or not. I’ve been making this show eleven years plus, and the idea of making a sleep podcast…but this is a podcast that doesn't put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company and distract you so you could fall asleep or maybe you fall asleep. But there’s no pressure to fall asleep with this show. I’m gonna be here over an hour so you don’t have to worry about it.
You say, okay, I don't have to worry about falling asleep. He’s gonna be here over an hour. He’s gonna be here to keep me company and take my mind off of stuff. Because there’s people who are listening who can't sleep at all or who need a break during the day, so I’m here to the very end whether you're listening or not, 'cause my job is to be a friendly voice in the deep, dark night, a friendly distraction. I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your neigh-bore, your bore-bie, your Boris Borlaf, your bore-bud, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bruh, your best bore-friend f’eva, to keep you company and take…just to be a distraction, just like if you were gonna call somebody and say, hey, talk to me for a while.
They…or you have a roommate or someone you know you're in a relationship with; they could do that once, right? But then they gotta go to bed, or they say, well, I got my own bedtime routine, you know? I gotta go to sleep, too. This podcast is that kind of service. What else do you need to know? Oh, structure of the show. So, no pressure to fall asleep, no pressure to listen. Structure of the show is intentional, so I just want to meet you where you are if you're new or you're coming back. I mean, we haven't really changed anything in quite…well, bare…I mean, this show’s like a slow-moving ship, so any changes are so slow that you only notice them if you skip two or three years of episodes.
But so, the structure of the show…the show is structured in a very specific way to benefit the most amount of people we can, but people…there are ways to change how you listen. So, here’s how it works. The show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, hello bakers or whatever I said, so you feel seen and welcomed in and you say, oh, okay, I could check that podcast out. Let me see how it goes. Then there’s support so that paying for the podcast is optional. Most people prefer to listen to this ad-supported version linearly, but if you prefer something without ads, you can get that on Sleep With Me+. Then there’s a long, meandering intro totally separate from the support, and that intro is meant to ease you into bedtime, not to put you to sleep.
There is a small percentage of people that fall asleep during the intro, but for most people, they're winding down, they're in bed getting comfortable, they're getting ready for bed, or they're doing some chill activity to get ready for bed and to get eased into bedtime. Yeah, that’s what the intro is. If you find you listen to the show a few times…you say, I don't like this intro, there’s a version of the podcast without intros called Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me, where we just have the story…the greeting portion and the story portion, and…but the intro is to have a buffer, and that’s what’s just been shown to work, what works for me most of the time, is getting eased into bedtime.
So, that’s the intro, then there will be support, then there will be our bedtime story, which will be a indirect, meandering recap of the second-to-last…or, no, the…yeah, second-to-last episode of this season of Great British Bake Off. Yeah, it’s all meant to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff. I’m really glad you're here. I really appreciate you coming by. Myself and a team of people work really hard on the show because we believe in it, believe in being there for you in the deep, dark night. We couldn't do it without the people that support the show back, and those are the people that get the most out of the show. So, if you've gotten to that point where you're like, this podcast has changed my life, and you say, it’s helped my life be less of a struggle and you want to help the podcast because of that, you could do that. These are a couple ways you could do that. But thanks again for coming by, and, yeah, here’s the ways we're able to be here for you regularly.
Alright everybody, Scoots here. It’s time for Episode 9 of Great British Bake Off. It’s Patissiere Week here on Bake Off, and I’m starting the motion. Patissiere…something patissiere something. Skirdles? Down solly why? Noel? Let’s see. Wait a second, I don't remember this. Oh, wait, I guess maybe I do. Hello, Freddy Mercury. Oh, wait, 'cause…is this the wrong season? It’s gotta be. It’s gotta be the wrong season, right? Scrabbles down slowly…yeah, I don't think this is the season I’ve been watching. Yeah, no, that’s why. Spoiler; there will be Freddy…Matt as Freddy Mercury and Noel as Ziggy Stardust in Series…Collection 9. Alright, let’s get to where we're supposed to be. User error by Scoots. Okay, so, Patissiere Week, Collection 9…Collection 8, Episode 9. Okay, so, there we go. Hello, viewer. I’m Noel and Matt. I love patissiere.
Tiny French cakes…the smaller, the better, even microscopic cakes. They've written a song about patissiere, Noel has, but Matt says that’s too surreal. I should have gone to sleep. I was up all night writing it. Welcome to Great British Baking Show, and then they dance and sing and spin…and sing. We get a drone shot and we get a preview of the episode. Place…the places in the final at stake. One person will go home. Yeah, I’ll try to be as positive about this episode as I can. It’s a hot day coming up. Talking heads…this is no longer home baking, or about being a home baker versus a pro baker, is what the talking heads seem to say. Hermine is a semi-pro or professional patissiere, or at a pro level, in my opinion. This is the semi-final. 3-1…Prue…let’s see. Exciting…just watching the talking heads.
Yeah, you got…Peter’s excited. Laura’s not feeling too confident. I’m just a home baker, she says. You're not a home baker to me. Dave’s a little bit nervous. Oh, everybody’s nervous about Hermine because she’s so good. She’s really good, and she’s like, this is what I enjoy doing. But the pressure’s on 'cause everybody’s trying to get to the final. Looks like a little wind is outside. Congratulations making it to the semi-final. Three will be in the final. Both Noel and Matt have different print shirts on. Noel’s is Hawaiian. Matt says kinda…I think those are bunny rabbits and waves, maybe? I don't know. There’s musical notes. Twelve identical patissieres. Petite aux savarin, yeasted-enriched dough…pate aux savarin, savarin, savarin…soaked in a syrup of your choosing once baked.
This is the semi-final, so high-end, exquisite finish. Two hours, forty-five minutes. On your marks, get set, bake. We begin. Everybody’s stressed and excited. Soaked in syrup…a savarin versus savarin…savarin…savarin, savarin…you say savarin, I say savarin. They say savarin. Prue is in a nice red…it’s a strange dough; silky smooth savarin. Old savarins. Shove them in the oven. You gotta…it’s all about proving the softness of the sponge. Beautiful, delicate flavors, according to Paul. Patissiere is all about…it’s a heat wave. Proving times will be shorter. Prue wants you to pay attention. Her frames match her red shirt. Really nice. But who’s gonna go through? These four are really good. So, yeah. They gotta be pipe-able. It’ll bake beautifully, especially if you believe in alliteration like I do. Smooth, stretchy dough, silky smooth.
Paul goes to Hermine. Hello. Hello. Tell us about your savarin, savarin. Rum baba. Glazed with a apricot jam. Give it a shine…well, this should be your day. This is classic French. No pressure. Hope I can deliver. Rum baba with a vanilla creme pat. Sounds good. Piped Chantilly cream…now, you've won Star Baker twice. No one else has. Are you confident? Yeah, I don't want to have a big head. Well, you've had a handshake, too. Don’t let it distract you, and concentrate on today, Prue says. Do your best. Can you say apricot? Apricot. That gets a handshake from Noel. I almost said Nicole. Battle of the babas, though. Laura’s also doing some sort of baba. Hey, did you learn from me? Are you copying me? They're having fun, though. They like each other.
Laura’s is a poached pineapple kiwi and passion fruit with pipettes of rum syrup, Chantilly cream, fairly staveron saffron dough. Really? Fresh yeast or what? What gives it a better rise? Trick question from Paul. They say, just say yes. Please don’t listen to him. Noel says, don’t let Paul get in your head. So, don’t doubt yourself. Savarin to savor. Savarin, savarin to savra. This is Dave. Oh, a bread-type cake. But then you soak it in syrup. All the flavor comes from the syrup. Spices, rum, or an NA one. What’s…not Peter…yeah, Peter’s doing an NA one. So, I could have that. I don't think the alcohol cooks off, so I can't have the other ones. Dave’s having a honey, tequila, mango, and passion fruit one. Honey and cocoa Chantilly cream, and…reminds me of this Phish song, Tequila. It’s where it starts and where it ends.
But he’s gonna try his best, Dave. Dave, you're so confident. Week after week, you've been listening. Different from when you got here. Good luck. Cheers. Okay. Jiminy Christmas, Noel says. Okay, you don’t want the alcohol to evaporate too much, and you want Prue to be happy. Patissiere demands…don’t overcomplicate it. Clean and professional. Peter’s chosen to keep a clear head. Don’t…he’s not soaking his in alcohol. Elderflower cordial, lemon juice, water, and sugar. He doesn't drink, so a teetotal…teetotal…teetotal savarin. Club sober. It leaves early, Noel says. He’s giving him a hard time. His are gonna be rectangular. Lemon creme diplomat on top, and something else. Noel says…or Paul says, we need old Peter. We got heat in the tent. Concentrate. Don’t make mistakes. That’s really helpful. Thanks, thanks a lot.
So simple. Prue’s a little bit more helpful. He says, yeah, Week 1, I was Star Baker. I gotta take it back. Yeasted-enriched dough…and Matt and Laura are having fun with her dough, and Paul…punching down the dough. Dave’s laughing, too. Matt’s laughing. Sticky dough, man. Sell it on eBay. Okay, first prove’s done. Now Peter’s going into a piping bag. How will we pipe such a substance? The savarins take shape. It’s not easy because it’s elastic. Dave’s trying to keep even weight in each one so they all rise identically. So, done, then you got a second proving. Prove yourself…prove me once, prove me twice. That’s what…that would be a song Dough would sing. It could be shorter. Maybe you don’t even need the proving drawer 'cause of the temperature. Thirty minutes, a lot of people are saying.
Thirty minutes to prove. Okay, and it’s gotta be perfect, Laura says. Don’t let it go…whatever. I don't know. She exhales. Dave’s pretty warm. 4,950 seconds; how long is that? Nobody knows. Matt says, oh, halfway. Rapid…rapidly rising. You need every second to make your fillings and toppings. A lot of flower prints in the tent today, or with flowers on them. Tropical…I don't know if that’s…I’ll have to see…I may have missed it the first few times. So far, Hermine’s in denim or a denim color. Probably not denim 'cause it’s so warm. Ever seen Babar? Yeah, still watch it now, Matt says. Pingu? I love Pingu. He does the voice of Pingu. I don't know who any of those are, but I think I’m familiar with Babar the elephant. Okay, proving is done. Laura’s proved…in the oven; fifteen at 175. It’s a quick bake.
Fourteen minutes for Hermine, twelve to ten for Peter, and I missed what Laura…I don't know if she said it. She’s got a fan. Noel’s pestering Hermine about…maybe not pestering; just saying, yeah, you're so relaxed. What about you versus Laura? Noel’s like, you're gonna have to get to the final. You don’t have to be so nice. He laughs. She’s like, I’d rather be proud about how I win. People are looking in the oven. Hermine and…what’s the guy’s name? Paul are side by side, leaning over, looking. You don’t want them under. Peter says, I’d rather be over slightly than under. Laura’s are out. Dave’s are out. Puffed up nicely. Light and airy. Feeling good, really good. What’s that guy’s name? Dave says he thinks Paul will think his are too dark, but he’s happy. Oh boy, Hermine says, maybe mine are under-proved.
Oh dear, what should I do? Do another batch? I want it to be perfect…semi-final. Let’s start again. Okay, bakers, one hour left. Time flies when you're having fun, Laura says. Hermine’s like, let’s try again. This weather’s not helping. Her babas are back at the beginning. Just a fifteen-minute prove. Everybody else is doing their shaping. Dave’s dip…oh, that’s when you dip it in the liquid. The point is to saturate it. No dry spots. Hold as much syrup as they can. I don't know when I’ve had a syrup-soaked dessert. Does a tiramisu count as that? I guess so. Long soak, short soak…you say long soak…you say…what are these things called? Savarin, savarin, savarin. That’s how Flavor Flav would say it, savarin, ferogny…savvy, savvy rone. Okay, then you gotta put your stuff in the fridge, your…whatever, your goopy stuff.
Concentration station for Peter. Everybody’s getting their decorations ready. Soaking my savarin. Mango curd, uniform…deep breaths. Do the best…pick the best ones you can. Five minutes left, though, bakers. People’s hands are shaking. Twelve mango flowers…fiddly. Roll them up. You gotta make sure they're bang on. Leaning…extra syrup, pipettes…time is up. Step away from your bakes. Everybody looks around. I can’t believe I’ve just done that. Where are yours? Where are mine? Hermine’s…oh, okay, so, this makes more sense. I was pretty sure this happened. Let me make sure. So, Hermine goes and puts hers in the freezer to cool them down. So, I think this is a pretty important thing that…I don't know, if I wasn’t paying…I mean, I remember this happening when I was watching it and taking notes, but I don't remember them ever…it’s kinda like they ignored that this happened.
Since it’s a sleep podcast…well, because of the way this episode ends, I think this is really important to point out for me, 'cause of the fact they glossed over this. This would be more soothing if I just tell it to you now, because it actually wasn’t soothing to me, the way it happened with the editing. So, I believe…I don't have any actual facts to go on, by the way. That’s normal for me. Okay, so, let me just see. This is at 42:34, right? Laura says, I can’t believe I’ve just done that. She’s smiling. Dave says…they say, time’s up; put your…oh, let’s jump back. You're right. Okay, again, it’s edited out of order. So, Hermine’s trying to work on hers. That’s at 42:51. Okay, then there’s some dipping with Laura, and piping, then Dave’s doing some toppings.
Then they say time is up, but when we cut to Hermine, she’s putting hers in the freezer and still decorating them. Then they say, step away from your bakes. I don't know anything about the rules of the show. I’m just watching it. Then Dave says to Hermine, where are yours? She says, in the freezer. He says, oh, are they? Then I think…we see her face. So, her face says the truth, which is my food is in the freezer. It’s not at my station. Technically I’m not…I get a zero for this. I’m…this is just what I’m trying to piece together. Then we see a beautiful moth and some flowers, then we see the tent, and then they say, yeah, we're gonna be judged by Paul and Prue…soaked savarins. Hello, Hermine. They come to her table, her workstation. Hers look gorgeous. She smiles. Prue says, interesting. Elegant, Paul says.
Love the pipe work. Quite modern. There is a little irregularity in the colors, but let’s have a look. Tempered chocolate disk…Prue takes a bite. Paul takes a bite. She’s watching. Flavor…alcohol’s got a kick. It’s creamy. Texture’s all good. Under-proved, itself. Air holes are tight. It could have been more open. A little tough. Too bread-like. Flavor’s lovely. Thank you. Okay, so let me just jump on another theory, maybe, if this is real. So, the question I have is did…is this a real judge or is it just for show, for editing, right? So, either…I mean, many things could have happened, but in my trying to put pieces together, one, either Hermine’s things were officially in the freezer and they said, we're gonna judge it for the show, but officially you're not getting judged. But they don’t tell us any of this, right?
The only other…the other possibility is that she’s…she was…she’s so good that she did her first batch and finished those and made her second batch, which would have been better, or depending on the proving time but based on her skills, and those are in the freezer, and these were her first batch which were under-proved, and her second batch may or may not be under-proved. We don’t know that. I guess I’m in fanfiction, but Prue loves the cream. They say, well done. But she still makes a face like…uncomfortable. So, huh. Okay, Laura’s poached pineapple kiwi passion fruit rum babas…they like the colors; golden-brown. Looks scrumptious. A bit messy on the icing and the bake. Different sizes, Paul says, but let’s have a look. Rum in the pipette…probably can get a little more rum there. Paul takes a bite.
Prue says, it’s lovely, light sponge. Beautiful. Some spice in there? Star anise and cinnamon. Cinnamon, huh? Overdid it on the spices. Paul says, it’s the little things. You're like a rough diamond. You need polishing. But Prue said it’s a very good rum baba. No one would send it back in a restaurant. But Paul says, I would, and I would ask for the chef. So, they say…man. Then Dave’s up next. I got a good shot of his. His are still soaking, too. But they say, yeah, that one’s got a mark on it. Paul’s being tough. Texture of the cake is light. Okay, but it’s almost impossible to get on the fork. They really savor it. They're going slow. I think it’s lovely. So does Prue. I don't get the curd at the bottom, though. It’s a design thing, but we want that inside with the chocolate. Prue says, the flavors worked, though.
I thought there was gonna be too many flavors, but it works. Thank you. Alright, then we have Peter; strawberry and elderflower babas. His are, whatever, rectangular. These are neat and uniform, soaked, which is good. Lovely. Well, look at that. Alright, I don't think I was gonna like this, but…that didn’t have booze in it, Prue says, but she’s like, it’s delicious. Mouthwatering. Nice texture; classic. Alls I can say, Peter, is…he gets a handshake from Paul. We say, holy moly, a handshake from Paul. Everybody’s minds are blown, actually. So, that’s good for him. He goes, yeah, I got a handshake. He’s giggling. Very cute. Laura says, I got my usual comments. I’m getting bored of it, to be honest. Hermine just says, it’s disappointing. You win some, you lose some.
Dave’s feeling underwhelmed, but…I’m gonna go in with confidence to the technical. Will be a tough technical. So, again, Hermine’s disappointment does not line up with the way they judged her food, 'cause hers would have been second or third place, not fourth place, I think. Okay, so now we got the technical. It’s time for the technical. This one’s set by Paul. Any words of advice? Methodical, this challenge. It’s about precision. They say, okay. Whatever, you two hit the road. Matt says, where are they going? Where are they going? Like a puppy dog. I don't want them to go. Pull it together. So, I kinda like their…especially on mute. Not that they need to be…a Danish cornucopia. A traditional Danish celebration cake, otherwise known as the Horn of Plenty. Classic horn shape stacking rings of dough.
Firm on the outside, chewy on the inside. These faces…two hours and fifteen minutes. Bake…on your marks, get set, bake. They say that out of order. Danish cornucopia…never heard of it. No one could picture this, and I don't think anyone on Earth could have unless they made it. This would be more like American Bake-Off or something, 'cause I don't know how popular cornucopias are around the world. I mean, in the US we have to have these…cornucopia’s a part of the autumnal season, right? Paul…Danish cornucopia; what’s up? Perfect challenge, I think, for the bakers. No flour. It’s ground almonds. You gotta divide the dough up. You gotta shape it. You gotta make it round like a cigar, but taper the ends so they bind together…a cigar shape with a slope. Then you piece them together, and they curve. Say, what?
I don't understand, man. Once that’s gotta be…you gotta have one side thicker than the other. You want to try some horn? Here, have the horn end, Prue. They both eat it. Chewy, almondy. Gorgeous, soft almond filling. I love almond flavors. Crispy exterior. Okay, Prue’s staring at hers. I mean, people are gonna struggle with the shape. I hope they don’t struggle with the texture. This is a good semi-final challenge, Prue says. Not easy, very delicate, delicious. Okay, where am I, Dave says? Oh. Okay, make the dough. Icing sugar, egg whites, some other stuff. I don't know. Almond flour…and no one’s baked one before. Chewy, crispy outside, chewy on the inside, like a amaretti biscuit. Gonna have to work fast, is what Peter says. Two hours and fifteen; not a long time. Noel hugs him. Okay, he’s a little distracting.
They're going back and forth. Come on, man. He’s, yeah, kind of flower…what’s that? So, there is floral patterns. Not everybody’s wearing floral patterns, though. Peter’s trying to shape his. There’s templates from Paul. Fifteen grams of dough. Shape it into a cigar shape. I’ve never seen a cigar that looks like that, so…but maybe Paul…in Paul’s world. Okay, everybody’s trying to get their heads around it. Press the ends by overlapping one centimeter. It’s like a sleep podcast. Hermine says, this is like rocket science. Dave says, it makes no sense. Peter says, I read it six times. I still don’t under…yeah, everybody’s like…I don't like when they do these. So, that’s just my opinion, right? I don't make a show, so…I mean, I make a sleep podcast, not a cooking show that’s entertaining. So, I think Peter says, I think I got it.
It’s like circles within circles, thick at one end. Dave’s guessing. Laura’s having a tough time. She’s like, this is beyond me. I can't…my logic brain is not making sense of this. What if I can't present anything? Matt says, you're gonna do something. Come on. ‘Cause you're here for a reason. You got here. So, don’t…smash it but don’t smash it, you know? So, he’s cheering her on. Okay, and she tries to cheer up, right? But this doesn't make any sense. People are trying to make circles and make sense of it. Okay, Peter’s starting to feel good about his shapes. I don't know if everybody starts helping one another or what. Laura’s like, I want a glass of gin to do…after I do this. Peter says, it’s gonna come down to the bake. Ten minutes he’s gonna give it. Dave’s gonna give it fifteen but check it at ten.
Hermine’s gonna freestyle it. Laura, she takes hers back out. I didn’t turn my oven on, so I gotta whack it up for a bit. Then it’s time to make chocolate. Be strategic. Acetate…piped chocolate scrolls. Hermine’s melting her chocolate. Noel’s popping in for a chat. You okay? Can I go on your shoulders? No, I’m trying to get into the final, dude. He’s like, doing material. I can't imagine…this is the challenge of this one. He’s making her laugh, and I think this is…it does make it…boulangers. [French] all the way through. They say, is that good French, Hermine? No, not good at all. Okay, everybody’s coming…I don't know, ten minutes. Ten more minutes? I have no idea. Laura’s are just going in. She needs another timer. Well, I’ll just look when they're brown, then.
Then you gotta make piped-chocolate scrolls onto a acetate…I don't know, it’s kinda like…oh, acetate over a piece of paper for the outline. Wow, that is…I mean, I…this is not my thing, man. I could not do one of those, even if I was good at everything else. I can't even draw a straight line. Alright, everything comes out. Peter’s are a little bit overcooked, he thinks. Everybody’s like, mine are cracked. Are they supposed to be cracked? Dave’s…puts his in for longer. Don’t want to go over too much. See the outside of the tent…Laura’s come out all cracked, falling apart. She’s down. Dave’s comes out. Okay, mine are the right color, maybe. Royal icing time; egg…icing sugar and egg whites. Then we gotta decorate the biscuits. Pipe zig-zag patterns on the cooled rings; leave to set. So, we gotta do the icing.
Okay, and they're starting to look scruffy. Well, that’ll have to do. Hermine’s look a little bit more professional, but she didn’t seem happy, either. Half-hour left. Step 12; make caramel or caramel. That’ll glue it together. 200 grams of sugar. Laura’s like, I’m doing it by…I don't have time to measure it. So, everybody’s trying to melt down their caramel and bind it or whatever. Dave’s goes crystallized. He’s…always has trouble with caramel, he says. Tower of Doom, Laura says. I’ll start working on it. Say, have you been to Universal Studios Orlando? They got that there. Matt is watching Peter try to puts his together. Supporting the horn with each ring…one ring horn to rule them all. Okay, so they're putting them together. Not the prettiest of jobs. Peter stuck sugar…sugar kisses? No, he didn’t say that. I said that, like the song.
Five minutes left. People are making towers. It kinda looks like something you'd see in Whoville from The Grinch, like a cookie tree in Whoville versus a horn. The Whoville cookie horn tree. Hermine’s is…I think Hermine’s the only one that gets the right shape. Laura’s is like a tower, which is understandable. One person’s is inverted. Yeah, Hermine’s looks like a cornucopia. Dave’s is like…yeah, like a Who tree. Peter’s is like, on its side right now, but I think his is gonna be like a tower. Oh no, his is just like…interesting. Laura’s is — not to be mean — a straight-up mess, but maybe it tastes good. We’ll find out here. She says, I thought the matcha pancakes were bad. This is worse. So, they put them up. Okay, so just…yeah.
So, Dave’s is a Who tree, Peter’s is a tower on its side, Hermine’s is a cornucopia, and Laura’s is like a tower on its side. So, they laugh at Dave’s. It’s upside-down, man. Paul’s saying stuff about it. No chocolate. He tries to put it like, why didn’t you just put it on its side like a cornucopia? Graduation of the rings…they take bites of it. Too hard. Over-baked. Bone dry. Shame, though. Lovely flavor. Almond; lovely. Next up; Peter. They get chocolate…it might have been standing up at one point. Icing’s nicer. Graduation’s okay. Not a horn, though. They crunch into that. The little ones are over-baked. The top ones aren't. You can't bake them at the same time, either. They're different sizes. Some of them are good, and it has chocolate. Laura’s…it’s all over the place. Color of the rings all over the place.
It doesn't…the person did not understand at all. What are they trying to do? They bite them. Almost raw. Prue…like a marzipan. There’s issues. Last one…nice shape. Over-baked, though. Is chocolate on there? Icing…the icing’s supposed to come down the sides so you can see it. You can't see it. Flavor’s okay. It’s softer. So, then they try to rank them from worst to best. Last place is Laura. Almost everything is wrong. It does look a mess, and it was under-baked. Not your finest hour. Third spot; Dave. It was a little bit solid all the way through. Second place is Hermine. Almost there. It was close. Decoration was awful. Baked in the right shape. First spot; Peter. No horn shape but it was delicious, and the icing was good, and there was chocolate. So, well done. They clap.
He says, okay, it hasn’t been a bad day, but I don't want to be complacent 'cause there’s only four of us. Anything can happen tomorrow. Hermine’s really happy, right? I can't complain. Peter’s doing better, but he’s good with detail, which I’m not. So, again, this doesn't make sense right now to me, but…getting tougher as we go along. Showstopper tomorrow. That’s what Dave says. Laura’s like, I’m glad it’s over. There’s always tomorrow. We see a duck and ducklings. Who’s gonna be Star Baker and who’s gonna miss out? Oof. Hello, bakers. Welcome back. Semi-final showstopper challenge. Paul and Prue…cube cake. It’s twenty-five mini cube-shaped cakes into a cake. This is precision. Cubes need to be sharp, uniform, and neat, and exquisite finish. Your mini-cakes can be flavored and decorated however you like.
You can use non-edible supports to stack the layers, and you'll get extra points if the whole thing is edible versus only part of it. You got four and a half hours. On your mark, get set, bake. Okay, one last challenge before the final here. You're gonna have fun today. Bake from the heart, Laura will. Noel says, Hermine, is this right…it’s right up your street. You're gonna be in the victory spot. Four and a half hours. It’s hot. It’s gruelling. Paul says, cube cake…straight edges, flat sides, Rubix cube. Patissiere Week…precision. Artistic flair, baking skill…Prue says, this is sponge cake, so it better be flavored beautifully, textured well, and something in the sponge like a mousse, a melted chocolate, or a ganache. These bakers are amateurs but pushing themselves to be professionals.
That’s what I thought…that was my quote at the beginning, that…but it wasn’t ‘til this part of the episode. We see some lemons, and we start off with Peter. Raspberry pistachio cube cake. My favorite, Matt says. Magic. Three flavors running through the cake, three sponges, mousses, and glazes. Clever. Go big or go home. It’s ambitious. Three cubes, different combinations of flavors; chocolate, raspberry, and pistachio. Mousses, mirror glazes…sounds good. Crack on, man. Matt says, I won't disturb you, but I will. So, he says, go hard, go fast, and in the end, hopefully I’ll have time for the patissiere precision if I get done…you know, if I get…so, Peter’s hoping practice makes perfect. Hermine’s going into the unknown. She says she changed her plans.
When I practiced it, it didn’t go well, so I’m do…today…everything I’m doing today is something I came up with last night, new. When did you decide? Oh, yesterday morning. Yesterday? Okay, she’s gambling everything on the cube cake. Two varieties of strawberry, cherry, coffee, and praline joconde. Sounds delicious. If it works, it’ll be amazing. Matt says, yeah, I guess you gotta take a risk. Fortune flavors the bold? Oh, favors the bold. The sponge has gotta pack plenty of flavor…coffee and my chocolate sponge to bring the flavor out, Hermine. Texture’s gotta be spot on, too. Pistachio friands…I don't…frangipane…these are words I’ve heard before but I don't know the meanings to, or I probably looked them up in the history of the podcast and forgot the meanings.
Deliciously delicate but able to hold their shape when they need to…so, that’s interesting. Okay, 190 at twelve minutes. Dave’s doing a chocolate cube cake. Say, who you calling a chocolate cube cake? Dave’s cubes will also contain white, milk, or dark chocolate or liquid caramel center, but the temperature’s rising, you know? It is gonna be hot today. Okay, well, good luck. Praline mousse for Hermine. I got a clear vision. There’s a lot of elements to juggle. Chocolate hazelnut mousse for somebody else. Peter listens to his cakes. If they bubble, they're not done. No lapses in concentration. Not good. Somebody split the…their cream. Laura’s working…I mean, Hermine’s working on cherry kirsch, which is a cherry liquor, I think, onto her cake. Laura’s doing a Black Forest gateau. That’s one of her dad’s favorite cakes.
Five layers…biscuit crumb, chocolate sponge, two mousses, dark mirror glaze. Prue says, I’m looking forward to this. It’s one of my favorites. Okay. These are one of my favorite things, too. I’m proud of it, Laura says. That’s the spirit. You like it, I like it. Good luck. So, she’s working on the flavors, setting time. Yeah, concerned with the mousses. You say mousse, I say mousse. So, everybody’s trying to get the right thicknesses with gelatins and stuff, quantities, concoctions. Go easy on the gelatin, man. Noel says, I have Jell-O for a snack. In the seventies I wore gelatin shoes. Laura’s happy with how her cakes are starting to look, like pre-cake mode. Gotta make a biscuit cake stand, somebody says. So, yeah, everybody’s gotta get everything to set. Dave’s having trouble with caramel again. Caramel’s not my friend.
Now we're halfway through. Bakers are halfway through. So, now it’s also trying to assemble things. A lot of people are using these red molds. Peter says he’s gonna cut his. He’s not gonna use…he’s gonna make a frame and then cut slices so they're neat. White chocolate bavoir…keep it neat. Dave’s balling out holes for his gooey center. Laura’s putting cherries in there. It’s getting hot in the tent and stuff’s getting watery as the temperature rises. Cherry mousse…Matt’s interrupting her. I mean, I’m not criticizing; I’m just saying…or maybe I am. He’s kinda running a interview. I guess everybody has to deal with it, though. Peter says, rinky dink into the freezer. Okay, it’s going good. Raspberry glaze, chocolate something…pistachio glaze, mirror glaze, gelatin…how much you gotta put in there? Glazes are tricky.
Everybody’s gotta make their shapes as well for stuff that’s not molded. Dave says, I’m a square guy, anyway. Laura’s like me; I’m a messy cooker, man. I’m probably messier than her. I mean, especially on the final assembly. Crack on…come on, we gotta get through this bake, Noel says, and then you get to the final. They all have a laugh. Hermine says, this is not great. Where’s Noel? Noel’s throwing his voice. No, he’s standing next to Matt, the silly goose. Okay, not everything’s setting for Hermine. Keep adding the layers…then Laura and I think Dave can't get their cakes out of the cubes, so they have to cut them out of the cubes, which is probably time-consuming. Good thing I’m not there, 'cause it would be messy. Hermine’s aren't quite set, so this is not going well.
Peter’s lucky that he’s cutting his into cubes and he’s good at that, and that it’s like…costs nine pounds for those things. Then Noel says, Prue pays for it. I do her hair, anyway. Then we go to Narnia for three hours. It’s a really wild thing. Okay, so, they're trying to get finished. Let’s glaze some stuff and get it ready. Not a lot of time left. What if this…? So, everybody’s putting their glaze on. Laura’s glaze is not sticking. Hermine’s are a little jelly-like. Dave’s getting his cube assembly going. Laura’s kinda look like s’mores or something. Her whole workstation looks like my kitchen a lot of times. Yeah, a lot of last-minute…this is not going like practice. Laura and Hermine are kinda like…going, man, I believe in you. You believe in me? Yeah. Ten minutes left. Time for final decoration.
Peter says, it’s not far off of perfection, almost like poking the…it’s like, that’s risky, man. Don’t…I mean, whatever. I mean, I guess he believes in himself, which is good, 'cause he should. Okay, one minute left. Everybody’s trying to get everything in. Snug as a bug in a rug. Laura’s like, I wish my mirror glaze worked. I’d be proud of this if it did. Hermine and Laura kinda look like they're not happy with their work. Step away from your bakes. Dave and Peter are more happy with the results. Then Peter and Hermine are eating some berries, talking. Laura’s workstation…everybody’s trying to clean their workstations. Showstopper time. Dave, go first. So, Dave goes up. His does look good. It looks like cake bites, almost. These look great. Neat, uniform, tidy. Chocolate is holding. Brave choice.
Base is interesting. That’s neat. Caramel in the middle…Prue takes a bite. I think they're a triumph. Caramel’s delicious. It’s at the melting point. It oozes. Perfectly set. Get a filling…fudgey. You've improved a lot, Dave. He goes, yeah, I feel like I’ve improved, too. Well done…cheers…well done. Okay, then Laura’s up. They say, the heat’s taken a toll and made it difficult, 'cause it’s melting. It looks messy. This is Patissiere Week. Then they take some bites of it. Prue’s like, this is absolutely delicious. Even Paul loves the flavors and the textures, the whole cherries. Not the best you ever made, but worth it. They say, well done, Laura. Then Peter’s up. They say, this is so clever, Peter, and complicated. Overall look…you got a nice shine…set beautifully. Mousse and sponge is gorgeous. Let’s try one of the other ones.
I like this one. It works beautifully. He goes, can you try the final sponge? ‘Cause I’m proud of that one. Prue loves it…a friand cake or something. Paul does a fake out. So not nice. Then he says it’s delicious, and they say, well, done. Smashed it. Okay, then Hermine’s up. They say, it doesn't look great. Not my finest. Not quite set. It’s melting. They open it up. More raspberry than cherry…I love the flavor. This is like a panna cotta, this other one. Stodgy, bouncy…too much…it looks like a ball, a rubber ball. They're really disappointed. By your standards it’s a failure, they say. Holy cow. She’s disappointed. She goes, this is my first disastrous week, kind of. It’s a shame. So, it’s fifty-fifty. Peter’s happy; got a handshake. So, Dave’s like, I could get Star Baker here. Paul said it was a triumph. It’s gonna stick with me forever.
Laura says, that was better than I expected. So, it’s between me and Hermine. You think everybody’s in agreement on that, right? Which is surprising that Hermine would even be at risk, I mean, in my opinion, I guess. So, they say, yeah, Peter’s is amazing. Flavors were amazing, but either one of them could get Star Baker. They say, this wasn’t Hermine’s finest hour, but in her defense, she did two things. Laura did one. But Laura’s was delicious. How many showstoppers has Laura saved herself? Five times? Yeah. This would be the worst time to go out, but that’s the position we're in as judges. They say, okay, let’s…Matt gets to do Star Baker. A couple of candidates, but the Star Baker is Peter. So, well done. Dave’s happy for him. Noel has to announce who’s leaving. Just kinda weird after last week.
I don't know, I…'cause this was someone who I was…I thought was gonna…I honestly thought 100% chance of winning like, three or four weeks ago, so maybe it’s my fault. But it was Hermine. I thought it would be Hermine in first and Peter in second, or maybe Peter wasn’t gonna make it back after last week. But I guess this is one where I know Hermine’s gonna be successful no matter what, so…but she says, yeah, it’ll be a lot of happy memories, proud moments. A lot of real, genuine hugs. I can't…but this was the first time, honestly, that I was…I mean, now watching back on…okay, I get it, I get it, I get it. Maybe…this is the third time I’ve covered Bake-Off. Maybe I’ve thought this before, but it’s like…I’m like, I can't believe it. Laura’s really happy that she made it into the final and to the actual final.
So, she’s so happy she can barely even talk. It’s sinking in. Prue’s very proud of Dave. Dave’s very happy. He’s like, I can't believe this, either. Again, yeah, it’s just my thoughts, but…I mean, I guess it’s hard. It was different; the last time I watched, the season before this, it was someone…the person I thought was gonna win, they just had a really rough final. So, it was like, okay, yeah, unfortunately you're not gonna win. This one was kinda different. I guess…but yeah, this is why it’s reality TV, right? So, yeah. That’s the end of the episode. Thanks so much for listening, everybody, and we’ll be back with the finale I guess about…in a month or so? I don't even know. I mean, I’ll probably be recording it in a week or two. But yeah, thanks so much for listening, and goodnight.
[END OF RECORDING]
(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)
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