1364 – Smurf Concept Album for Brainbots | Trending Tuesday

Episode 1364 – Smurf Concept Album for Brainbots | Trending Tuesday

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, if you've ever…if you've never heard the phrase ‘a broken’…‘a boken record is correct twice a day’, then you're probably…and you say, now…well, now you have. There you go. You say, that’s confusing. I’d say, yeah, it is, but this episode is slightly about records. Not broken records. Well, I was thinking of record…like a vinyl record, but I guess a broken record like in the Guiness Book of World Records…I guess it could be right twice a day, technically, if the record was broken twice in one day. Or maybe that…maybe there’s a sign out front of Guiness Book of World Records Headquarters, H…do they call it HQ there?

 

I don't know if I’ve ever…I haven't…I think it’s been a while since I talked about…I don't think this podcast has any world records, but I mean, if you want to add that phrase, I could be…could I be the first world record-holder for having a sign out front of the headquarters of the Guiness Book of World Records? First senseless phrase given to the Guiness Book of World Records in history. Would that be…? Could that ever be…? That would be a permanent record, right? The teachers used to always say to me, this is gonna go down on my permanent record, but what I didn’t realize is…oh, what was the phrase? Thanks for double-checking with me, Guiness. A broken record is only correct twice a day. I can adjust it, though.

 

Well, it’s worked together…actually, believe it or not, I’m trying to start a sleep podcast, and there’s probably some people tuning in for the first time — welcome — or their second or third time, and they're like, holy cow. I mean, you could…I don't think…I think it’s too left to whatever…it’s too subjective to say I could hold the Guiness record for never getting to the point or slowest…or most indirect getting to the point, but I don't really want to quibble with other people that…I say, well, I’m pretty good at it. I know that. I don't need to be the best in the world at it. I don't need to be a record-holder for that. I just know I’m…you'd say…someone else that’s pretty proficient, they'd say, well, I’m proficient at it, so I don't need a record for that.

 

I don't need to be the best. I just enjoy being really good at never getting to the point. Now, why is that? In this particular situation it’s because I can help you out by taking your mind off of stuff and keeping you company so you could fall asleep. So, that’s pretty cool, right, that I could try to help you out. Now, the way the show works is I send my voice…oh, this is just the very beginning of the show. I always thought we're in the intro. If you're new, welcome. Regular listeners, welcome back. Always good to have you. So, this is a podcast to take your mind off of stuff and put you to sleep, to be a friend in the deep, dark night.

 

What we got coming up is support, and that’s for people that are new, people that occasionally listen or infrequently listen. That way you don’t have to pay for the show, right? Or if you're not in a position to pay for the show, like having sponsors and mostly having listener support and the sponsor support enables us to do it for everybody. After that is a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, not so much to put you to sleep but to just slowly lower the volume on the day. Then later on…I’m excited in the most sleepy way possible. This episode, it’s a new style of Trending Tuesday episode where I just use a list or something to go off topic and tell a story.

 

This one will be a concept album of…a concept album where we concept album to album that may or may not be a concept album. So…and say, somebody get…what was…? Somebody get somebody on the phone. It’s Inception 2. I think we got it. Anyway, I’m glad you're here. Yeah, if you…if this podcast, you listen to it regularly, if it regularly makes your life better, this podcast has regularly changed your life, these are the ways you could opt in and say, man, this podcast makes my life so much better. How can I help it out so it’s here for me and everybody else? These are the ways you could do that.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. Yeah, like whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be thoughts on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thoughts you're thinking about…yeah, that are just there, maybe thoughts about all the stuff I already got confused about and said.

 

It could be feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally related to those thoughts or feelings that are just there, feelings that are left over from the day or in anticipation, it could be physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be going through something, you could be getting over something, you could be in the middle of something. Whatever it is, I’m here to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company so you could fall asleep versus putting you to sleep. I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, and I do it for a couple different reasons other than I’m good at it. I’ve been doing it a long, long time, and so, I’ve gotten slowly better at never getting to the point. But that’s only one part. I guess that’s the skills I could feature for your benefit.

 

But you might be saying, well, why would you want to benefit me? Well, that’s a great question. I’ve been there. The number-one reason is I’ve been there. On a regular basis I still can be there in the deep, dark night, unable to stay asleep or fall asleep or waking up early or tossing and turning or having repetitive dreams and not getting rest. I know what that feels like for me. I mean, I know what it felt like the first time in my life I really struggled to sleep at all on a regular basis, and I’ve never forgotten that feeling and being unable to sleep as a kid, knowing I had to go to school the next day, and not being able to force myself to go to sleep or magic myself into going to sleep. That’s never left me, and my sleep issues go on and off.

 

I don't know what it feels like for you in the deep, dark night, right, but I think we can at least relate to some of those underlying feelings or maybe all of the feelings. When I relate to someone, I feel for them, right? I say, man, that’s tough. Now, you may be in a position…there are some listeners that are like, nope, you can't get what I’m going through, right? You have no idea. I say, okay, well, yeah, I…it still might be tough, though. I still can see you where you are even if I can't relate to it. But here’s the good news — and this is true, real news — is that someone in the world is listening to this, and they're a regular listener, and they've been…they can relate to what you're going through. They can relate to what you're dealing with.

 

There’s enough people listening right now…and for me, the coolest part of it is — because I’ve heard from listeners all over the world — that somewhere on this planet, someone can relate to how you feel, and they're rooting for you. They're saying, I hope this podcast helped you…helps you like it helped me, because I’ve been through that, and I hope after it helps you that you get the experience of welcoming in a new listener, of supporting the podcast for listeners in that spot, because it feels amazing on a…amazing but not a big amazing. The best kind of amazing, regular, every-day amazing.

 

So, that’s why I make the show, and I know from experience but I also believe it in my heart that you deserve a bedtime where you could get the rest you need, where you get the rest you need so your life is more manageable tomorrow, that you don’t have to dread bedtime, and that you could be out there in the world when you're getting the rest you need on a regular basis and flourishing. That means our world is a better place because you're in it and you're rested and you're doing the best you can already, but then you'll be rested and doing the best you can. I want to be in that world that you're in, flourishing. So, that’s why I make the show. The way it works is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents.

 

So, I go off topic, I get mixed up, I forget what I was talking about, then I repeat myself, and a lot of uhs and ahs and stuff like that, and my voice is not traditionally soothing. It’s creaky, dulcet. You say, well, it’s not…his voice is not bad. It’s not memorable. It’s forgettable. He’s not…The Coles will not be doing any duets about him or singles. He’s forgettable. I’d say, great. That’s fine by me. I prefer to be forgettable. I’ve been work…this is another thing I’ve worked my whole life at. It’s a skill set, being…I didn’t realize it was a skill…a skill set I wish I could turn off at times, but yeah, I’m like a chameleon that never de-chameels. So…oh, I send my voice across the deep, dark night.

 

This is a podcast that when most people get here — and you may be experiencing this — they don’t like the show when they first get here, and they're skeptical, they're doubtful, maybe you're irritated. I mean, you can't sleep and you're searching for something to help you sleep, right? Why wouldn't you be not in the best mood? The thing is with this show, I welcome that because I understand. Talk about grouchy; holy…I mean, I’ve been there, right? But the thing is, why wouldn't you be? You searched for a sleep podcast; maybe you had an idea of what it would be, and this show is very different. That’s a good thing, but at first it’s…it may not be a good thing.

 

As a matter of fact, most people that support the show or are huge fans of the show, they say it took two or three tries to get used to the podcast, 'cause at first they got here and maybe they were having a reaction like you; what is this? What is he going on and on about? Then they…on the second or third try they realize, oh, wait a second, at some point I fell asleep. Oh, now I get it. He is whatever…all those strange metaphors he tried to use. Oh, okay. I had no idea there was something like this out there. I didn’t even know I wanted something like this, but I do. So, just kinda see how it goes.

 

If you already know it’s a ‘no’…like, you're like, no, man, I’m never gonna get used to you, or you listen to the show and your feelings changed about the feelings or whatever, if you have strong, non-positive feelings about me that aren't gonna change or that you don’t want to wait around and see if they change, go to sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. We have stuff for people that are new to the show or are long-time listeners of the show…that you're…'cause you still deserve a good night's sleep even if you have strong negative feelings about me. It doesn't change that fact. So, I still want to help you get there. So, there’s a link to other sleep podcasts and sleepy audio. Or if you're a long-term listener and your feelings change, there’s a way to kinda get those feelings out and then maybe move on to something else that’ll help you.

 

‘Cause I’m here to help the people I can help, but it takes…it is kind of like a self-selecting group, but you don’t want to self-select too early, I think, 'cause I put…we put a lot of work into this show to kinda create something special for you. It is something that you barely listen to, but you can listen to it, which is the first adjustment other than my personality, which is…it’s a podcast you just barely listen to, like a out-of-focus picture, a TV on in the other room, a show streaming under your pillow, a friend on the phone who’s going on and on and on about nothing, a friendly distraction in the deep, dark night that you don’t have to pay attention to but you could.

 

It’s also a sleep podcast I’ve been making since 2013, and it doesn't put you to sleep. There’s no pressure to fall asleep with this show. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep versus put you to sleep. The reason the episodes are over an hour is so there’s no…you say, oh, okay, I got plenty of time. I could just listen to this, and he’s just gonna be here? Yeah, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff whether you're awake or asleep. So, yeah, see how it goes. My job is to be your company that you can listen to or don’t…you don’t need to listen to, because there’s people listening who can't sleep at all and people who are listening who need a break during a day or need a mild distraction while they work or study. I’m here…so, I’m here for everybody, right, whether you need to listen to me or not.

 

I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your neigh-bore, your bore-bie, your bores, your boreman, your Boris Borlaf…whatever…I forget all the other ones…your bore-bruh, bore-sib, best bore-friend f’eva, to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep, just like you were calling a friend every night or you had somebody, a roommate or a partner who could tell you an hour-long bedtime story every single night. That’s what my job is to do. So, just see how it goes and see if those work for you, right? No pressure to fall asleep. No pressure to listen. No pressure to like me, especially if you're new or you're only coming back occasionally. Yeah, just kinda see what happens. So, what else do you need to know? Oh, the structure of the show.

 

That’s the last thing I like to talk through, because when you're new, especially…whether you're new to podcasts or not, you may be wondering why the show is structured the way it is. It’s adaptable, but we have a specific reason we structure the show we can, and in the end, the reason is it benefits the maximum amount of people it can. So, the show is ad and listener-supported but free everywhere in podcast apps, 'cause that benefits the most amount of people that can try it out or use it occasionally when they need it or as they're going through something. Or if you're a regular listener, yeah, that’s a nice option to have.

 

It starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so everyone feels seen and welcomed in, and you say, hey, yeah, I’d like to try that podcast out. It doesn't sound…it sounds interesting and friendly. So, that’s why our shows start out the way they do. Then there’s support, right, so paying for the show is optional. If you prefer something without ads, you get that on Sleep With Me+, or if the podcast has changed your life, support the show on Sleep With Me+. Then there’s a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, not to put you to sleep. It’s there to take your mind off of stuff.

 

I follow a familiar structure every time, but every intro is different so whatever’s keeping you awake doesn't know…it can't predict what I’m gonna talk about or go off topic about so that it can't quite keep you up. I don't know, it’s just one of the theories I’ve had as I’ve made the show, is that there has to be familiarity but variety. So, that’s part of the intro. The other part of the intro is that it takes fifteen to twenty minutes so it eases you into bedtime as you're getting ready for bed or you're in bed getting comfortable or you're winding down doing some other chill activity. The intro is a part of that wind down. We do have a story-only version of this podcast in every podcast app called Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me that you could check out as well, and that’s out there if you want it.

 

But for most people…or if you want to supplement your listening or whatever. But yeah, for most people, the intro’s…it’s a hang time. It’s when we all get together. I don't know, it is archetypal in a cool sense like we're camping, we're all on the phone together, or whatever it is, to spend some time relaxing together, but we have all our separation and independence, so we have some comfort, too. So, that’s the intro, then there’s support, then tonight will be our bedtime story. This is our randomized kinda bedtime stories that are very popular, and I’m looking forward to this one 'cause it’s…features brainbots and inspired by Smurfs, or…so, we’ll be talking about a Smurfs album and inventing a brainbot album from it. So, it’ll be pretty nice. All told, we’ll be here a bit over an hour, and I’m really glad you came by.

 

Whether you're new or you've been listening to the show and this is your thousandth listen this month, I’m glad you're here, and I work hard and so do a team of people. I know that’s hard to believe, especially if you're new, but even regular listeners…that it takes a team of people to put the show out and be here for you, but we all believe in it, too. We all believe in the mission. Every person that’s worked on the show has taken the time to tell me how much meaning it adds to their life, because they encounter people whose lives have been improved by the podcast. So, I’m glad you're here and I really hope we could help you fall asleep. So, thanks again for coming by, and if you're still with me and you're a regular listener and the podcast has improved your life, if you could please pay attention through this next part, because this is how we're able to be here for you. Thanks.

 

Alright everybody, Scoots here, and this is a new style of Trending Tuesday episode or a new take on Trending Tuesday. If you've been following the show, you're listening to me talk about it on the podcast or out on social media or you're listening to Sleep With Me+ or whatever, you've heard me talking about kinda our commitment to you, the listener. One of those has been — over the past couple years — making sure we put out at least one Trending Tuesday episode a month, 'cause it’s one of a large group of listeners’ favorite style of episodes. It comes from when episodes came out Tuesday…Sunday, Tuesday, and Thursday, or…I think, a long time ago.

 

So, every Tuesday we would have a Trending Tuesday style episode just 'cause I was new to the show, and that was one way…I would look on the trends on different social media and then I would make up a episode based on that. Now, this was way back in 2013 and 2014, so times have changed. Even back then, I had to change platforms to find places that trended stuff that I didn’t have to research, 'cause it was supposed to be a way for me to stay in the flow, right? Then over the years we’ve tried to come up with new ways to do Trending Tuesday style episodes, and we’ve done hundreds and hundreds and hundreds. Recently I came up with…this was something I wanted to do for a while, but I didn’t have…so, I had an idea for something that I’ll kind of explain.

 

I had…'cause people say, how do you come up with ideas? I say, kinda ideas for this podcast are kinda everywhere, and I just encounter them. I have…occasionally I like to buy records, like vinyl records, but I don't buy good vinyl records 'cause those cost a lot of money and are hard to acquire. So, I buy random vinyl records that I come across. I try not to buy too many just 'cause I don't have…I’m not a person that has their own space normally or a lot of space to store stuff. But I have found a couple random records that I was like, oh boy, this would be good for the podcast. I just don’t know how to fit it in. So, I had one…now, we're not gonna talk about that one tonight, but now we have a context to put it in.

 

But then recently I was at a yard sale of a friend of mine, and they had records and I started going through them, and I found this random record and then I bought it. I said, well, maybe I should listen to it right away and just see for kicks and just to have a good practice; don’t buy something you're not gonna use. Then I started listening to it and I was like, okay, yeah, how could this be…how could this fit in an episode of Sleep With Me? Because it’s not my…you can't play music on Sleep With Me and all that stuff. Then I…then it just clicked. I was out walking the dog, and I forgot this title of this style of episode, but it’d be like Trending Tuesdays…these…some of the albums I own or something like that. I don't know. So, this one, though, I was still like, okay, how does it…?

 

This is kinda like a Tuesday researched episode because I said, okay, we could use the songs, but then I started listening to the songs and the song titles and it became even more confused in a good way. So, I said, okay, this is obviously good for Sleep With Me. Then the last piece came into play. So, I’ll talk about the album or the record and then I’ll talk about…then we’ll start our story, which will be with brainbots. Now, this album was called Smurfing Singalong. I don't have…oh, I do have a Wikipedia of Smurfs music here. So, I guess this one we’ll do a little bit more talking, but…okay, singles and full albums of music from the Smurf series and Smurf movies have been released, and millions and millions of copies have been sold.

 

There was a lot of interesting history about Smurfs that I was unaware of and how popular it was. But I don't see a discography here. So, this didn’t really help me, but that’s fine. So, anyway, this particular album, this particular Smurfs album, is called Smurfing Singalong, right? Now, I have no…I think it was the seventies or the eighties. It has…on the cover of it it has some…Smurfs live in mushrooms. If you're unfamiliar with Smurfs, their houses look…they don’t live in mushrooms, though. Their houses look like mushrooms. This has a four-piece…or, no, three-piece band and someone singing; Smurfs, general Smurfs, not any specific Smurfs that we know about, but they seem to be singing and making music while in the background there’s two Smurfs who seem to be going about their daily business.

 

One looks like they're headed for work. So, we don’t get a lot of information from the album cover. It also says ‘as advertised on television’. I guess it’s me…now, this is the problem with being a sleep podcaster; you project your own thoughts onto stuff. I would think that if I was buying a Smurf album…I guess…so, I never…I think we may have bought at a garage sale when I was a kid Disco Duck, which I believe was…and I guess I have to research this at some point, too, which I believe was a Donald Duck disco album, though it may have only been a song, or it may have been a dream I had. But I could see…if you were gonna make a whole album with, what, two, four, six…twelve or so songs, that’d be a lot, but you'd have a Donald cover or a parody disco…twelve disco songs or popular songs related to disco.

 

On some level it’d be a cover album, but it’d be like a…or a parody album, but it’d also be a concept album around a concept, a disco duck. Okay, first of all, I don't want to criticize this, but I’m just realizing it’s Smurfing Singalong. By the way, if you get this, you probably…you will eventually be singing along with parts of it, but I think it’s referring to the Smurfs, or this is their singalong, because there isn't a cohesive thing that runs…I mean, I’ve…I’ll find one that brings all the songs together. So, that’s what we're on our journey to discover. We're not gonna talk about the Smurfs. I’m gonna talk about what if the brainbots listened to this album with me? ‘Cause they live within me and all of us.

 

Now, brainbots are those pieces and parts of us…and if you've ever heard me interviewed on any podcast or videos or whatever, any extensive interviews, brainbots probably come up. They live within us. They serve a lot of functions. They particularly are active at bedtime, and they could also not just be related to thoughts but feelings, physical sensations. They usually only have one function, so they're only related to one simple…so, they don’t really have a lot of nuance or ability…there’s the spilled-milk brainbot, right, or the don’t-cry-over-spilled-milk brainbot. That’s a very specific brainbot, perfect for this example.

 

Its only function in existence…or the function it was created for was to kinda keep you from the situation where you don’t cry…to remind you to don’t cry over spilled milk so that you don’t have any of the…to protect you from that situation. Unfortunately, not…you say, okay, for spilling milk? No, no. That one might be…the brainbots are…I think they're created inadvertently by other people in our lives or ourselves. So, you say, okay, don’t spill milk, brainbot, or don’t spill liquids…okay, so, watch…don’t put…that’s a little bit more sensible or has some utility. The don’t-cry-over-spilled-milk brainbot…unfortunately for the brainbot and for us, if you have this brainbot…is it doesn't have a whole lot of utility, especially into adulthood.

 

But even when you're a kid, you're like, I don't know if you're helping me with…I am crying and I have spilled milk in front of the whole class, but I don't know if you were assisting me. I realize your job that you see yourself is…but brainbots, they don’t hear that, right? They're like, that’s my job. It’s a very important job. They don’t quite get deactivated ever, and then they turn on or whatever, particularly at bedtime. You say, what is this don’t-cry…this spilled-milk thing? Why am I debating about this at bedtime? Brainbot. That’s why. So, what was my point in there? Okay, so…well, I was thinking of what if, right? So, we…a lot of us live in a world with brainbots or whatever associative thing you want to use for them.

 

So, what if…because the brainbots are always there though I’m not always aware of them or hearing them…brainbots; they're always there. They're there and they're listening to this Smurfs album with me, and they're also like, huh, what’s this thing about? So, this is kinda like a cover album, concept cover album of a Smurfing singalong without any music. So, I’ll run through the Smurf songs and then I’ll try to recreate the brainbot version of them, I guess is the Trending Tuesday style of this episode. Okay, so, the first songs…the names of the songs, I’ll just list them and then we’ll get into it. Smurf…this will be the only Smurfing thing. So, there’s Smurfing Land, Smurf Hop…also, this album is on…I couldn't find it on Spotify, but it’s on YouTube, a couple different versions of it.

 

One of them has the sides reversed, but…so, Smurfing Land, Smurf Hop, When the Smurfs…Little Smurf Boat, Come to the Party, Smurf Lullaby, You're a Pink Toothbrush — that’s Side 2 — Smurfing Cowboy, Merry-Go-Round, Silly Little Song, Summertime, and Smurf Baby. But I think maybe…I think my album’s a little bit different, or maybe I’ll have to move songs around. But…'cause I just copy and pasted this from the internet so I’d have it. I don't have the album in front of me. Now, some of these songs are originals and some are traditional songs with a new arrangement and lyrics. But so, I was thinking…me and my brainbots, we were sitting there, right? We're listening to this album, Smurfing Land. I say, hey, see this…all these Smurfs are singing together, all together in joy. They say, yeah.

 

I say, what if there was a Brainbotland where everybody’s…? Where all the brainbots can go together and live together and live where they want to be, right? What if there was a land for brainbots? Would you live in mushrooms? Probably not, right? I don't know. You probably want to live someplace nice, though, 'cause the Smurfs did seem to like the trees — according to the song — the sun shining, the fact that they could be together and they like to smile, and where they could live their whole lives and sing, and the trees are green and the sky is blue. That’s important to the Smurfs. Also, there’s a little bit of a origin story here because they say there’s…oh, there’s a lot to do in Smurfing Land, which I don't know if it’s…it may have changed titles, but it’s the land where you're Smurfing. It’s a nice song and it really has a nice moment.

 

Kinda like…I think the brainbots…if you'd want to sing together, too…it also tells the tale of the Smurfs’ origin story, of Smurfing Land’s origin story, which I’m unfamiliar with, too. It wasn’t built by the Smurfs. It was a kind magician who could grant wishes, and he made Smurfing Land a happy place with houses for every Smurf, and there’s a smile on every face…where you could laugh and sing, and he even made a Smurfing inn where you could have Smurf mead, according to maybe my notes. So, that’s Smurfing Land. So, let’s pretend, brainbots, that I’m the wizard here, and just by imagining it, we could create a land for all the brainbots, not just my brainbots but all the brainbots around the world.

 

I think you'd want plenty of space 'cause I know you like to zoom around a lot, right, and where you could make a lot of noise but it wouldn't…so, we could have a open outdoor space where you could make noise, hills and valleys where you could zoom, and then long, flat things so you could do some zooming. We don’t…I guess we don’t use brainbot…‘brainbot’ is just a noun, right? You don’t do brainbotting, and you're not…Smurf and Smurfing is like one of those…I don't know what the word for it is. I don't know what the Smurf for it is, but it’s a word that could be a noun, a verb…I don't know which one ends in L…Smurfingly; you could put a -ly on the end of it if you wanted to. If you watched a lot of Smurfs…I guess I was a secondary…I got secondhand Smurfed as a kid. I experienced secondhand Smurf.

 

I guess I was watching it, but I wasn’t…it wasn’t like I was like, oh boy, I gotta watch the Smurfs. As a matter of fact, for the summer of 2025, we worked on a old episode from 2018 where I was talking about…I did like watching The Gummi Bears, which was a Smurf competitor. No offense to Smurfs; it just was…so, just wanted to put all that out there. But I don't think…brainbots, you're not brainbotty, or you don’t say brain…you actually speak…you more speak in different…you have a lot of different ways of communicating, right? Nonverbal, emotional…you're one of the few bots that can communicate through emotions or emoting and whatever they call that, limbic activation.

 

You do a lot of limbic activation, to put it…I don't know if…I don't know the definition of the word ‘somatic’, but you put the ‘automatic’ in ‘somatic’ if you need to, right? So, you'll need a lot of space and you'll need a lot of ability to make noise. So, yeah, we’ll put it out in the country somewhere, but we’ll have some big buildings, maybe some small buildings, maybe soundproofing? I don't know. I mean, if you're not living in mushrooms…I wonder why the…it’s weird 'cause the…here’s a question about the Smurfs; which came first, them living in mushrooms or the fact that they have hats that look like mushrooms? Is that like a convenience thing or like…? So, I guess if I was a…let’s just say…okay, let’s just roll with this, right?

 

Let’s just pretend that that wizard saw the Smurfs and said…they said, oh, are you gonna make us some Smurfing places to live? You grant any wish? That’s what we wish; Smurfing Land. Okay, brainbots, I guess I would look at you and then I would create your houses based on some general impression of that. I know a lot of the brainbots…I imagine you in a lot of different shapes for necessity, but it’s not…that’s a defining feature, the fact that they have mushroom hats. It’s not…Smurfs are shaped…so, I always think about BB…so, I guess if I had to, I do think archetypally, BB-88, which is BB-8’s eighty-first youngest sibling, maybe…maybe not. People do say, you don’t know what…they say, it’s BB-8. I say, right; your favorite droid is BB-8. Mine…I’m just kidding, BB-88. You are my favorite droid.

 

But I picture that…well, not all brainbots are spherical and it gives me a chance to make my favorite BB-88 joke. You say, how does BB…? Bono. Is is Bono or…? Bono, right? How does BB-8 move? He moves in spherical ways, Scoots. Oh, thanks. Thanks, Bono. Great having you on the…Bono, have you been in a Smurf movie? ‘Cause if not, if I was making one, I could kinda picture you in one. I mean, I’m not…I mean in a positive way. I could picture…'cause you have a nice…do you mind me saying that you have a nice smile, Bono? Okay, so, here’s a couple options for housing; Bono’s signature glasses, sunglasses, I mean, or different…you say, well, you know, actually, we're…I’m a brainbot that’s an expert in sunglasses worn by Bono. Okay, so you could have different housing based on styles of Bono sunglasses.

 

We could have spherical homes, and we could just start there, and then a lot of…you say, I prefer not to live in a sunglass-based home. I’d say, it was just sunglass-shaped. As far as I know, the Smurfs did not actually live in mushrooms. I mean, their houses could have been consume…constructed of dried and painted mushrooms, and I guess, yeah, if we get the access…I guess in my imagination we have unlimited access to Bono’s sunglasses, so we could…there could be homes constructed by those. I don't think BB-8 would want any droids, especially…or BB-88 living within them, 'cause we're trying not to impact…we don’t need…this…I guess this could be the episode; they say, what was AI missing to take over that…what did AI have in Star Wars that we didn’t have?

 

They said, well, the guy with the sleep podcast figured it out; brainbots. Once we put…we created a version of BB-8 called BB-88. You did this all based on a sleep podcast? Yeah, and then we…it didn’t…it worked great for general stuff, but it still didn’t have that extra humanity like humans have, particularly sleep podcasters. So, we said, yeah man, put in some of those brainbots. Have them live in there just like the Smurfs live in Smurfing Land. Wait a second, maybe we have an idea here. What if you could live in droids? Would you like that? Instead of humans. So, some homes could also be droids.

 

Particularly, this could be a service…you could be doing them a service, brainbots, 'cause if you watched that one movie with the Jawas, there’s that one droid…there’s a couple droids in there; I say, holy cow, man, that thing needs a hug. If we can't give it a hug, at least you could be within it. Then, plus, maybe it creates…instead of creating…maybe this works out for humans because then they…oh, it’s all imaginary; I realize that. Thank you, brain…my brainbot point-of-ordered me. But it’s…like, what if this was a service instead of being…? Like, now we have a lot more in common. ‘Cause that one droid, it was just laying around. I said, man, that droid needs a hug. It probably was like, by the way, I don't need a hug. I’m just deactivated right now.

 

I’d say, well, if you had some brainbots, you'd definitely…trust me, I both need and refuse a hug every moment of my life, so…and then we put the brain…so, if you were living within these droids…I guess there’s nothing to say…what if I propose this for our first song, that we create…? Since I’m the wizard, I’m serving as the wizard in this tale, we create a multidimensional…your housing is multidimensional, so on the outside it may look like BB-8, 88, or Bono’s sunglasses. Let’s just stick with Bono’s sunglasses for post…but just so we…'cause…and I think even though…the general shape, right? You don’t actually have to live in a pair of Bono’s sunglasses. Maybe the facades are that, 'cause then you have nice windows to look out of.

 

But within the sunglass homes are…it’s multidimensional, so when you go in your house, you're actually…you end up…you would get matched with a droid instead of a human, and then you're helping that droid out. Okay, so that’s Brainbotland. It’s a place where brainbots can zoom. They can move around and make noise with joy, where they can smile, and we got the origin story there. Such a happy place for brainbots to be, and there’s work we could do with glee or whatever. When we go home…you could go home or you could also go to work, and we live within fictional droids. Okay, so that’s song one. That’s a good one. Now, song two; Smurf Hop, it’s called.

 

Now, brainbots…now, this song is about more or less…well, one specific dance, the Smurf Hop, but it’s like two people…so, two brainbots singing back and forth about different dances you could do, and a dance is something…a taste? I don't know what that says. Can you dance? So, can you do the Smurf Hop? And skip and jump. So, basically, I think this song is kinda related to…okay, now we have a place to live. Here’s some great things about where we live. So, you could have a song…instead of dancing, we could call it zoom…you know how dogs get the zoomies?

 

I kind of imagine that pretty much every time I try to put my head on my pillow and close my eyes, somehow you get the zoomies, too, a lot of you, and you're kinda like a ticker tape machine and…a ticker tape machine combined with a dot matrix printer combined with…like if a dot matrix printer was a form of communication auditorially…what’s that thing called? Like the telegraph, like what if they…? I don't know why they didn’t do that. They said, oh, no, no, no one’s making the…luckily, those of you who missed the dot matrix…you're so lucky. Holy cow. Say, why don’t you want to do any schoolwork? Well, I’d like to blame dot matrix printers, but I don't think it was…a dot matrix printer was the first functional home thing that screeched in a way, so…what does that have to do with anything?

 

How did we get on dot matrix printers? I don't know, but…I’m trying to figure out a way to say yes to dot matrix printers in Brainbotland. I mean, maybe there’s…okay, so, the orchestra for the zoomies is dot matrix…you'd be the first region of the world, even with my imagination, to have a Dot Matrix Symphony that’s beloved, probably by brainbots. Oh, by the way, no humans will be visiting this world, so that’s a plus for all of you. Here’s the thing; I think I could see R2…so, who is that? C-3P0, protocol…whatever, protocol droid or whatever he does…something so rich people could talk to other rich people or whatever.

 

He could probably speak dot…like if you were singing or even doing poetry in dot matrix, if dot matrix was a language, which it will be…it won't be the official language of Brainbotland, but the thing is that it’s…it looks like it’s dancing, and then you could have the typewriter with the spinning ball, too. So, that would be nice. So, yeah, dot matrix…the Dot Matrix Symphony, led by…maybe Dot Matrix could be a brainbot, too. Hi, I’m Dot Matrix. Nice to meet you. I’m the director. This is my symphony. It’s the Dot Matrix Sympony. Wow, that’s meta. That’s cool. Only in Brainbotland. I guess…if we're going with this, that would be the song, Dot Matrix. So, Dot would be singing about…and there would be an official dance for the Dot…I guess you could call it the…Scoots, what’s your dance move?

 

Well, I had one that was a bit like a dinosaur. They named it after me at the one dance where I forgot what it was like to be embarrassed, so I danced a lot. Then everybody was like, that’s amazing. But then I said, I can't go back there again. My brainbots prevented me from returning. But I did invent a dance there. It wasn’t the Dot Matrix, but I think the Dot Matrix could be a good dance, particularly for mobile beings with the zoomies. It’d be harder for a human to…'cause I guess these are things beyond our understanding, right, that only brainbots get. It’s kinda why I invented the podcast, 'cause brainbots…you know so much more than us but just in one line, right? You're an absolute…you're the greatest expert on the planet about the phrase ‘don’t cry over spilled milk’.

 

You're the greatest expert in the world on that. But you just have no other functional knowledge, and that’s not an offense, right? We know that. But that’s why Brainbotland is perfect and then why you get to learn a new dance while you're there. Or maybe you play…maybe you'd be playing one of the Dot Matrix instruments. So, that’s great. That’s good stuff. So, that’s Smurf Hop. Now, the next thing on the Smurfing album is a cover of When the Saints Go Marching In, which I can kinda see…what’s the next one? Oh, the next one…the next song is…so, I guess this would be one…I think this song, again, for me when I’m trying to project meaning onto it was that we chose the song because we're reiterating the joy we have for Smurfing Land and being in community, 'cause I want to be in this number.

 

Like, I want to be a part of Smurfing Land. So, we’d be looking for a cover song that brainbots could have that would say, I want to be a part of Brainbotland. We gotta go with stuff that pops in my head, right, brainbots? So, the song that popped in my head was I’m A Little Teapot, but they re…did they…? Yeah, they rewrote this. So, you could…we could rewrite it. It’s traditional, and we rearrange the lyrics. Like, I’m a little brainbot, and then each brainbot could…if you're a large brainbot or a medium brainbot or however you feel. I’m a very loud brainbot. What would BB-8 sing? BB-88; sorry. BB-8’s the real thing. BB-88’s…I’m a little brainbot, a sphere…something round or spherical. I guess you could do it like that. I like to run around and zoom and something…that’s what I consider to be chill. Here is my roundness.

 

I live over there, and when I go inside, there’s a droid who…of which…who I take care. So, yeah, that’s great, I think. That makes sense. It’s like…and it’d have to be a more joyous version, 'cause I feel like When the Saints Go Marching In…that really has some oomph to it, where I’m A Little Teapot, I can only hear it recited in monotone. So, I’m just trying to think…even though this was the first song that popped in my head, that maybe I should air it out for…just in case there’s any other songs out there that would work for brainbots. They say, I’m a part of…I love being in Brainbotland. I don't know. So, I don't have anything.

 

So, I guess it’s a good thing that I’m A Little Teapot popped in my head, 'cause I’m sure if you're not in the moment…but, again, brainbots don’t have a lot of song…you don’t have a lot of song options, huh? So, yeah, this would be your song. I mean, we could…yeah, I was just thinking it’s not your anthem, but it could be your anthem. I was thinking of the song…not the national anthem, but anyway. So, I don't know. So, I think that’s probably a pretty good song for all of you if it was sung in a cool way, right? I guess, would there be a heavy metal…? The line between a dot matrix printer and a heavy metal guitar is not that different, anyway. You could ask my internal nana. She’s more…she’s like…she must be on the brainbot stages of evolution, because I never had a nana.

 

I mean, I have archetypal figures in my life and non-archetypal ones. She’s an amalgamation of brainbots, I guess. So, I guess…wow, so you're kinda like Mighty Morphin Voltron, all those other things…type thing, too, where you could come together. Go Bots…and amalgamate into nana. Probably…talk about something…please don’t do that at my bedtime, okay? So, I don't know the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers song, but I guess I do kinda remember the Voltron song, and Voltron was the defender of the universe. I think Voltron came before Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Pretty similar; maybe the exact same thing, just that most Mighty Morphin was live action. But most of the time I’m totally wrong, so more than likely this is another chance.

 

But yeah, what if four or five or six brainbots could come together — please don’t — and become my…I mean, my nana. Say, oh yeah, here we are, your own personal internal nana. I guess that kinda makes sense at bedtime, 'cause sometimes I say, how did I…not crying over spilled milk become a whole thing, a hullabaloo? Hullabaloo; let’s hold that phrase for later in the show. But so, you…oh, Voltron was the defender of the universe. So, brainbots, you are defensive beings. That’s…you serve a function to try to be helpful and defend us. So, anyway, that’s the cover song. Now, the next song, apparently it’s a cover song. I had never heard of it before. It’s about some…what was it even called? Let me go back to my first page here. Little Smurf Boat, it’s called. But this is a song about returning to Smurfland.

 

So, what happens, brainbots, in this tale of the Smurfs, which we could find relatable, is that apparently if you take this song and you run it through my brain, it’s two Smurfs…this is the right song? Oh no, that’s the singing…the dancing song. It’s about…it’s a song about a Smurf that moved away. It’s also a chorus of Smurfs, so I guess more than one Smurf moved away to the big city and longed to return to Smurfing Land. So, longing…it’s kinda more of like, why would you leave here? But it’s kinda…it’s sung in a way to make you think you thought of it on your own. You say, well, I just won't leave, 'cause if that’s…so, it’s about a Smurf in the city, neon lights, everyone in a hurry.

 

You gotta catch the bus on time and all this other stuff, but then you could go to this port and you see all these big boats, but then there’s a boat that goes to Smurfing Land. This one, it’s tiny and blue. Snails are like snowflakes. Paints from blue lakes…and they have cream cakes on the boat, and cookie bakes, and you can share your…everybody…the captain sleeps all day long, maybe? There’s music on the boat, and you could go other places, right? You could travel the world, but aren't you gonna want to come back…? You're probably gonna want to come back to Smurfland. Now, the good thing…so, this is what I’m thinking, brainbots. A little proposal for you. So, what if…? So, this is a deal we're making, I guess. We're making a very appealing place for you to live outside of human beings.

 

But we don’t want…we can't cut off all access, so you could always return to your humans and check to make sure they're not spilling milk or whatever or having an emotional reaction to it. So, you always will have access to it, but I want you to remember this song. Instead of…it could be just…you know those fun tubes that you see in videos or the ones gerbils run around in? We never had those, but they connect one gerbil house to another or whatever, other small beings. They say, oh boy, this is the best. Or, I guess they have it for kids, or they used to. I brought my daughter one once a long time ago.

 

But so, you could have those fun…kinda like a swirly straw for brainbots that goes into us humans…or, no, leaves us; 'cause you say, oh boy, I get a fun ride back to Brainbotland, and then I get to go back to Brainbotland. I don't need to hang with this human. No spilled milk, apparently. So, I could go back and have fun. Dot matrix bands…I could do…go do the Dot Matrix and maybe help out some droids. So, yeah, we could call it Swirly Straw instead of Little Blue Boat or whatever, and you could pick…every brainbot gets their favorite color or silly straw. Silly Straw Slide…yeah, we could call…and it could have a dance in there, too, just for extra layers of learning. Say, oh, it’s time for the Silly Straw Slide. Once upon a time, I was at a human. They were trying to sleep, and they were saying, there’s no milk in this room.

 

I’m trying to go to sleep, and I didn’t know why. They wanted to sigh and I wanted to sigh, and that’s when somebody told me about the Silly Straw Slide. Then I was home again. So, that’s…there you go. That solves that one. By the way, why would you want to go back? Well, the next song tells you why, because it’s about a special fair and show. What’s this one called? Summertime? No. Come to the Party. So, the next one’s called Come to the Party, and it’s just basically about the seasonal festivals they have in Smurfing Land and how awesome they are for Smurfs. So, the same thing with you, brainbots. You could have one…this one sounds like they have performances. I’m pretty sure they have beer and chips and soda, burgers…you know, whatever you…dips. I think there’s a lot of beer there, at least for Smurfs.

 

But you know, brainbots, you probably…you could do…where they get oil…how about oil baths? C-3P0 loved that, so you could give C-3P0 an oil bath. How about a sponge bath with oil? You could give C-3P0 a sponge bath with oil or run around in oil. It doesn't matter. You don’t have material clothing, right? You say, that’s some high viscosity, man. But here’s the thing; if I was gonna give someone a sponge bath, it’d be C-3P0 with oil, especially out in the desert. I’d say, hey, let me give you a sponge bath. I mean, I would have to…no offense, C-3P0; I would have to be de-clothed or have clothes that had no meaning to me, 'cause anytime I fall in love with a piece of clothing, it gets a oil stain on it or some kind of grease stain, and it never comes out ever again.

 

I guess I don't have a brainbot for that, but, you know, whatever. So, it could be a festival like that. They have…this one sounds like a county fair. There’s rides, a lot of treats, shows. Smurfland Fair; they have it. So, think about a brainbot…the perfect brainbot festivals, and then you could return to that. I just put out one idea. You'd say, that…our festival involves giving droids sponge baths? No, no, it’s just an idea. I mean, it could be…if it was a county fair, it could be competitive droid sponge-bathing, oil sponge-bathing, and the winner gets a prize. There you go. Okay, then the next song…this is where it kinda felt…this one’s another song about returning home, and it’s a metaphor song. I only mean a metaphor song in the fact that it’s…it’s just someone singing…let me look it up here.

 

It’s someone singing a song about coming back. I’m gonna cook you dinner…love of family and one another and community. We miss you. So, it’d be kind of a song you'd listen to while you're in your human, and everybody would be saying…as soon as you tell the human, check their house for spilled milk and…or if they're crying, say, is there spilled milk present? No. Is there spilled milk present? Yes. Are they crying? No. Okay, I can head back to Brainbotland. That could be both a fact and a metaphor depending on which brainbot you are, but you just do a basic check like that because you've heard the song so many times about how great it is and you want to get back there, right? So, there you go. That’s the song about…get back to…just do…it could be actually sung by the don’t-cry-over-spilled-milk thing.

 

I gotta check and I want to get back to hang with my brainbot friends. Is there tears? Oh dears. But is there spilled milk? Let me check. Nope. I’m headed back. Or, oh, there’s milk on the floor. Where’s my human? Not…they just headed out the door or they cleaned it up. Did they cry? Nope. Well, then I don't need to wonder why. I’m just gonna head back. Something like that. Okay, so the rest of the album is a concept album, but I think it creates…here’s the thing, brainbots; I know I’ve said this. So, first it becomes a episode of Sleep With Me, which is specifically designed for the benefit of brainbots. So, on the Smurf album, the first song is…they say, Smurf storyteller, tell us a story, Smurf. I’m pretty sure it’s a episode of Sleep With Me even though it predates it by, whatever, fifty years or something.

 

Or, not…forty-five years. So, yeah, fifty years I thought was a made-up number, but it is not. The story Smurf sings a song which sounds like it was made up on the spot, 'cause it’s about two toothbrushes in love. But that’s kinda like…every episode of Sleep With Me is like that, where I design it with you in mind, because I want to take…I want to put you at ease and say, hey, no spilled milk here, no tears, or they're not related. So, you could relax, and now we have a whole world for you to relax in. So, it’s a pretty…in addition to Sleep With Me…so, every time you listen to Sleep With Me, you could think, oh, this is the words of the wizard that created our world that we could go to anytime via silly straw.

 

So, that’s the start of this whole second-half of the album as a concept, 'cause then it sings about the toothbrushes being in love. It kind of is in…I don't know, brainbots, is that a non sequitur or just some…? It seems like a unrelated thought, that then there’s…the Smurfs are pretending to be cowboys and cowgirls and cowpokes and cowhands, but only dressing up and to do it fun. So, it’s like, what does that have to do with two toothbrushes being in love? You say, well, I take one on the road with me or whatever. Then there’s a song to kinda answer brainbot questions, but it’s just in a metaphor. So, the Smurf questions of like, where do Smurfs come from? How come some Smurfs are older than others? Where are we all headed? What does it all mean?

 

In the album they just sing a song to the Smurfs about a carousel, which kind of explains…it’s like, yeah, sometimes you're up; sometimes you're down. That’s kinda like this Sleep With Me…I put work into all the episodes for you, brainbots. So, it’s not like I’m just filling space mindlessly. It’s just I have a inability to communicate clearly. Now, the next song is a good reminder 'cause it’s a silly song and it’s all about being silly. So, that’s another reminder that’s…of Sleep With Me, is like, it’s here with silliness and lightheartedness, because the truth is, brainbots — you know this; I know this — just because you had a unifunction related to don’t crying over spilled milk, doesn't mean it’s easy and doesn't mean that doesn't have…carry some weight for you and that you don’t get tired and down.

 

So, yeah, it’s like that…it’s not easy, right? So, I do know that, and that’s part of the lightheartedness of Sleep With Me; it isn't just for the humans. It’s for you, and why I’ve created this whole new world tonight for you to head off into, 'cause you deserve it. You've been watching for crying over spilled milk for all of your existence, and that’s not easy. You deserve a nice place to rest, too. That’s why the show is silly, right? Then there’s the idea of a vacation. So, not only do you get your own land, Brainbotland, but then there’s a song about where Smurfs go on vacation. These Smurfs prefer a tropical situation, but it’s just kind of a idealized thing. But for me, it’s a metaphor for bedtime, right? Like these…they call it vacation vibes. No, no, no, not brainbot…come on.

 

Vacation vibes like the feeling of vacation and that you deserve that at bedtime, right? Every bedtime you deserve that feeling of a vacation from your monitoring for crying over spilled milk, right? That’s what I’m here to provide. So, if you…there could be a song that’s a metaphor for that. Then finally, the whole podcast exists as the last song on the album, which is a lullaby to say goodnight to you, right? You deserve a nice bedtime and rest, too, whether you're a human or a brainbot, to get comfortable, get the rest you need, not just for tomorrow but for right now, so…'cause it feels good. My lullaby is that I care, right? I know you. I see you, and I care, and the way I can try it is through this silly process and giving you a place to go that’s pretty nice. So, thanks, brainbots and humans for listening, and thanks, Smurfs, for showing us the way and letting us make a concept album of your album which we conceptualized. Thanks, and goodnight, everybody.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)

Trending Tuesday

 

The real life of professional spies

https://www.apu.apus.edu/area-of-study/intelligence/resources/the-most-famous-secret-agents-and-their-historic-impact/

https://spyauthor.medium.com/james-bond-vs-real-spies-what-real-cia-operatives-think-dc074539c8dc

https://lithub.com/on-the-real-life-story-of-deep-cover-russian-spies-living-as-american-families/

 

The Concept Album

https://wers.org/the-evolution-of-the-concept-album/

https://daily.jstor.org/albums-what-a-concept/

https://www.mentalfloss.com/concept-albums-history

 

Music in Smurfs

https://www.toonsmag.com/where-do-smurfs-come-from-the-history-of-smurfs/

https://cartoonresearch.com/index.php/when-smurfs-ruled-record-stores/

https://www.polygon.com/movies/599501/rihanna-smurfs-single-friend-of-mine-banger

 

Cartoon Novelty Music

https://cartoonresearch.com/index.php/top-10-greatest-cartoon-record-albums-part-one/

https://www.classicnerd.com/articles/33-years-ago-the-simpsons-sang-the-blues/

https://www.complex.com/music/a/chaz-kangas/oral-history-of-the-simpsons-sing-the-blues

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

A broken record is correct twice a day

Not sure if I’m talking about a vinyl record a world record

I won the record for the First Senseless Phrase Given to the Guinness Book of World Records

I’m excited in the most sleepy way possible

We’ve got a version of Inception 2 for you tonight

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline; Referral Program

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Quince; Odoo

 

INTRO

Thoughts you’re thinking about

Feelings that are just there

I do it for a few reasons, other than that I’m good at it

I’ve gotten better at slowly getting to the point

I’ll never forget that childhood feeling of not being able to fall asleep

I can relate and someone else listening can really relate to what you’re feeling

Being welcomed and then welcoming

Everyday Amazing

An utterly forgettable voice

The forgettable skillset

I’m like a chameleon that never de-chameles

It normally takes a couple tries before people like the show

You don’t want to self-select yourself away from this show too early

I’m here to be your bore bae

I forget all the bore nicknames I’ve come up with over time

Like calling a friend at night

Explaining the structure of the show

An archetypal hang time, all together separately

A randomized Trending Tuesday style episode

 

STORY

A new take on Trending Tuesday episodes

Recommitting to the Trending Tuesday style

This was way back in like 2013

I’ve wanted to do this style for a while

Occasionally I like to buy random vinyl records

Recently I was at a yard sale

And I found a record that I wanted to use for a show

Getting more and more confused in a good way

Using the record for inspiration

The Smurfing Singalong

From the 70s or 80s

Their houses look like mushrooms but they don’t live in mushrooms

General Smurf Band

There’s not a lot of information to glean from this album cover

As advertised on TV

Disco Duck, the Donal Duck disco album

If you get this, you will sing along with it eventually

I’m not sure what the cohesive throughline of this album is

So the premise is…

What if my brainbots listen to this album

Explaining Brainbots

The spilt milk brainbot

Brainbots are purely uni-functional

The Don’t Cry Over Spilt Milk Brainbot

They serve an important function in youth but less so in adulthood

A concept cover album without any music or Smurfs

Listing the songs

Smurfing Land

Smurf Hop

Wind Smurfs

Little Smurf Boat

Come to the Party

Smurf Lullaby

Smurfin’ Cowboy

Merry Go Round

Silly Little Song

Summertime

Smurf Baby

This isn’t quite the tracklist of my album

Some are original, some are traditional

What if there was a Brainbot Land?

The Smurfs liked the nature and the sun

The origins of Smurfling Land

Let’s pretend, brainbots, I’m the wizard that creates your land

I’ll make plenty of space for you to zoom around in

Brainbot isn’t a verb, I suppose

I experienced secondhand Smurf as a kid

I preferred The Gummy Bears, not The Smurfs

Brainbots can communicate through limbic activation

You put the automatic in somatic

Which came first, the Smurf mushroom houses or the Smurf mushroom hats?

Archetypally, BB88 is the true brainbot

Your favorite droid is BB-8, mine is BB-88

Bono, of course, moves in spherical ways

Bono, I could picture you in a Smurfs movie

The brainbot who’s an expert in Bono sunglasses styles

Living in a Sunglass-Based Home (SBH)

I suppose their homes could be made out of mushrooms

What if you could live in droids? Would you like that, brainbots?

Holy cow, those droids with the Jawas really need a hug

My brain just Point Of Ordered me

I both need and refuse a hug every moment of my life

Okay, I got it – you’re housing will be multi-dimensional

On to Song 2

Smurf Hop

A song about different dances you can do

Now that we have a place to live, we talk about how to live

Brainbots gets zoomies just like doggies

The Dot Matrix Auditory Form of Communication

The dot matrix printer was the first functional home device that screeched

The Orchestra for the Zoomies

Dot Matrix Symphony

Hi, my name is Dot Matrix

I did once have a dance named after me when I danced like a dinosaur in middle school

But I can’t go back there…

“When the Saints Go Marching In”

Reinvigorating the joy and community in Brainbot Land

The first song that popped into my head is “I’m a Little Teapot”

I’m a little brainbot

It could be your anthem

Dot matrix printers aren’t that different from heavy metal guitars

Inner Nana is like the next evolutionary stage Voltron of brainbots

My Own Personal Internal Nana

“Little Smurf Boat” – I guess this is a cover of something

A song about smurfs coming back home

Taking the boat to Smurfing Land

I guess we’re making a very appealing place outside of human beings

But you can have access to it sometimes if you like

Like fun gerbil tubes

A fun ride back to Brainbot Land

We’ll call it Swirly Straw

Oh! Silly Straw Slide!

And that teaches a dance, too

“Come To The Party”

Ok, so there’s performances and food and such

Spong baths with oil, that could work!

If I had to give a sponge bath, it would be to C3PO with oil

Every time I fall in love with a piece of clothing, I get oil on it somehow

“Summertime”

A song about coming back to hang with your brainbot friends

Okay, so the rest of the album is a concept album

A SWM episode specifically for the benefit of brainbots

A whole world for you to relax in

These are the words of the wizard that created your world

A song exploring the origins of Smurfs

A good reminder of the value of silliness and lightheartedness

Just because you’re unifunctional doesn’t mean it’s an easy life

You deserve this world to rest in, brainbots

A song about the feeling of vacation

You deserve that feeling every bedtime, brainbots

A lullaby to say goodnight

Thank you brainbots

And thank you Smurfs

Goodnight

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1364

Title: Brainbot Smurf Concept Album

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Story Only Feed; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline; Referral Program

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Quince; Odoo

Notable Language:

• Guinness Book of World Records
• Everyday Amazing
• The chameleon that never de-chameles
• The Smurfing Singalong
• General Smurf Band
• The Don’t Cry Over Spilt Milk Brainbot
• Brainbot Land
• Secondhand Smurf
• Limbic Activation
• Sunglass-Based Home (SBH)
• Multi-Dimensional Housing (MDH)
• Dot Matrix Symphony
• My Own Personal Internal Nana
• Silly Straw Slide!

 

Notable Culture:

• • Inception 2

• The Smurfing Singalong

• The Smurfs

• • Disco Duck, the Donal Duck disco album

• The Gummy Bears TV Show

• • BB-8
  • Bono

• Star Wars

• Voltron

• Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers

 

Notable Talking Points:

• Thoughts you’re thinking about
• Feelings that are just there
• I do it for a few reasons, other than that I’m good at it
• I’ve gotten better at slowly getting to the point
• I’ll never forget that childhood feeling of not being able to fall asleep
• I can relate and someone else listening can really relate to what you’re feeling
• Being welcomed and then welcoming
• Everyday Amazing
• An utterly forgettable voice
• The forgettable skillset
• I’m like a chameleon that never de-chameles
• It normally takes a couple tries before people like the show
• You don’t want to self-select yourself away from this show too early
• I’m here to be your bore bae
• I forget all the bore nicknames I’ve come up with over time
• Like calling a friend at night
• Explaining the structure of the show
• An archetypal hang time, all together separately
• A randomized Trending Tuesday style episode
• A new take on Trending Tuesday episodes
• Recommitting to the Trending Tuesday style
• This was way back in like 2013
• I’ve wanted to do this style for a while
• Occasionally I like to buy random vinyl records
• Recently I was at a yard sale
• And I found a record that I wanted to use for a show
• Getting more and more confused in a good way
• Using the record for inspiration
• The Smurfing Singalong
• From the 70s or 80s
• Their houses look like mushrooms but they don’t live in mushrooms
• General Smurf Band
• There’s not a lot of information to glean from this album cover
• As advertised on TV
• Disco Duck, the Donal Duck disco album
• If you get this, you will sing along with it eventually
• I’m not sure what the cohesive throughline of this album is
• So the premise is…
• What if my brainbots listen to this album
• Explaining Brainbots
• The spilt milk brainbot
• Brainbots are purely uni-functional
• The Don’t Cry Over Spilt Milk Brainbot
• They serve an important function in youth but less so in adulthood
• A concept cover album without any music or Smurfs
• Listing the songs
• Smurfing Land
• Smurf Hop
• Wind Smurfs
• Little Smurf Boat
• Come to the Party
• Smurf Lullaby
• Smurfin’ Cowboy
• Merry Go Round
• Silly Little Song
• Summertime
• Smurf Baby
• This isn’t quite the tracklist of my album
• Some are original, some are traditional
• What if there was a Brainbot Land?
• The Smurfs liked the nature and the sun
• The origins of Smurfling Land
• Let’s pretend, brainbots, I’m the wizard that creates your land
• I’ll make plenty of space for you to zoom around in
• Brainbot isn’t a verb, I suppose
• I experienced secondhand Smurf as a kid
• I preferred The Gummy Bears, not The Smurfs
• Brainbots can communicate through limbic activation
• You put the automatic in somatic
• Which came first, the Smurf mushroom houses or the Smurf mushroom hats?
• Archetypally, BB88 is the true brainbot
• Your favorite droid is BB-8, mine is BB-88
• Bono, of course, moves in spherical ways
• Bono, I could picture you in a Smurfs movie
• The brainbot who’s an expert in Bono sunglasses styles
• Living in a Sunglass-Based Home (SBH)
• I suppose their homes could be made out of mushrooms
• What if you could live in droids? Would you like that, brainbots?
• Holy cow, those droids with the Jawas really need a hug
• My brain just Point Of Ordered me
• I both need and refuse a hug every moment of my life
• Okay, I got it – you’re housing will be multi-dimensional
• On to Song 2
• Smurf Hop
• A song about different dances you can do
• Now that we have a place to live, we talk about how to live
• Brainbots gets zoomies just like doggies
• The Dot Matrix Auditory Form of Communication
• The dot matrix printer was the first functional home device that screeched
• The Orchestra for the Zoomies
• Dot Matrix Symphony
• Hi, my name is Dot Matrix
• I did once have a dance named after me when I danced like a dinosaur in middle school
• But I can’t go back there…
• “When the Saints Go Marching In”
• Reinvigorating the joy and community in Brainbot Land
• The first song that popped into my head is “I’m a Little Teapot”
• I’m a little brainbot
• It could be your anthem
• Dot matrix printers aren’t that different from heavy metal guitars
• Inner Nana is like the next evolutionary stage Voltron of brainbots
• My Own Personal Internal Nana
• “Little Smurf Boat” – I guess this is a cover of something
• A song about smurfs coming back home
• Taking the boat to Smurfing Land
• I guess we’re making a very appealing place outside of human beings
• But you can have access to it sometimes if you like
• Like fun gerbil tubes
• A fun ride back to Brainbot Land
• We’ll call it Swirly Straw
• Oh! Silly Straw Slide!
• And that teaches a dance, too
• “Come To The Party”
• Ok, so there’s performances and food and such
• Spong baths with oil, that could work!
• If I had to give a sponge bath, it would be to C3PO with oil
• Every time I fall in love with a piece of clothing, I get oil on it somehow
• “Summertime”
• A song about coming back to hang with your brainbot friends
• Okay, so the rest of the album is a concept album
• A SWM episode specifically for the benefit of brainbots
• A whole world for you to relax in
• These are the words of the wizard that created your world
• A song exploring the origins of Smurfs
• A good reminder of the value of silliness and lightheartedness
• Just because you’re unifunctional doesn’t mean it’s an easy life
• You deserve this world to rest in, brainbots
• A song about the feeling of vacation
• You deserve that feeling every bedtime, brainbots
• A lullaby to say goodnight
• Thank you brainbots
• And thank you Smurfs
• Goodnight