1321 – Skiff to Javert | Get Besos in the Sky PI E2

Get Besos / Big Farm in the Sky PI

 

Smart Bulbs

https://www.smartenlight.com/introduction-to-smart-lighting-a-very-brief-history-of-light/

https://casambi.com/blog/a-brief-history-of-smart-lighting-control/

https://vorlane.com/how-do-smart-light-bulbs-work/

 

Charon

https://www.theoi.com/Khthonios/Kharon.html

https://library.unimelb.edu.au/asc/whats-on/exhibitions/epic-and-divine/dramatic-personae/charon

https://greekgodsandgoddesses.net/gods/charon/

 

Henrietta Maria

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/henrietta-maria-england-warrior-queen

https://history.blog.gov.uk/2014/04/28/henrietta-maria-the-forgotten-queen/

https://www.rmg.co.uk/stories/topics/henrietta-maria

 

Edda

https://www.islit.is/en/promotion-and-translations/icelandic-literature/the-edda-and-the-sagas-of-the-icelanders/

https://www.gutenberg.org/files/13007/13007-h/13007-h.htm

https://www.icelandicroots.com/post/edda-from-ashes-to-majestic

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

I’m so glad you’re here

Just not half bad

 

PLUGS

Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Calm History podcast; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline; Referral Program

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Anker Soundcore; Dave’s Killer Bread; Acorns

 

INTRO

Thinking thoughts, holy moly

Thoughts without a dimmer switch

Believe it or not, I don’t have a dimmer switch

Sorry to Smart Bulbs

I bought a dimmer switch on a trip to IKEA

Old Smart Bulb

The Gripes About Bulbs Podcast

Incorrect Facts About Lights

I’ll use this dimmer switch when I’m well

My smart light set up

It still knows when to turn off but that’s it

I’ll do the thinking for you

Like handling a tray of dishes to a pratfall comedian

I’ll talk to your thoughts

Longing for the Days of Analog Lights

A Degree in Co-Smart Homing

Barely reading an out of focus picture

Always Never Getting Started

Explaining the Structure

A tangent on bulbs

Putting barely a smile on your face

 

STORY

This series is a bit of a surprise

Is that miso in there?

A box of episodically modular stuff

Antonio showers or bathes us in charisma

Antonio is definitely not a 2-in-1 conditioner/shampoo

We take our time with Antonio

He has a gleaming nature

Naturally Gleaming Sounds

Put this de-gleamer on, Antonio

I lost my recorder, Diane

Big Farm in the Sky PI???

On the case for some legends

They’re missing a guy

A reliable contact, Mr. Skiff

He runs a ferry over a river

Let’s skiff around

Does he know where this person is?

If I want my business open, I gotta keep my mind open

A lot of people go through Mr. Skiff

Singing a skiffing song

Do fictional people ever cross over here?

Fiction sounds like an earthly idea

Mr. Skiff talks in generalities

Fictional people do cross over, nowadays

Can he identify a fictional being for me?

Loose lips sink skiffs

Mr. Skiff is trying to change a relationship

I have 2 tickets to a dinner theatre show

Perfect for a date…

If I forgotfully left these tickets here, I’d want Mr. Skiff to have them…

Looking for Inspector Javert

Mr. Skiff is familiar with the musical

Looking for the real Javert, not someone who has played him

No Javerts

I give him one ticket but I see he knows more

Maybe someone else is also looking for Javert…

Inspector Javert’s mother is looking for them

What a loving mother

She’s trying to make up for stuff

I waited on the shore to Javert’s mother

I finally see her talking to Mr. Skiff

Javert’s mother wasn’t in the musical

She believes Javert is stuck

He went into the river

Water blocks people from entering the new realm

Stuck By The River

That’s a lead!

This is where I need G and DK

Maybe I’m the one to help Javert

G and DK are blown away by this case

Limitless Space

They were stuck on this person being famous

Maybe I should talk to the Whispering Person that Lives in the Opera House

They say I should tell hi to Princess Diana if I see them

Everyone will recognize famous people in the afterlife

A Famous Unknown Woman

Princess Di’s essence is sparkling everywhere

I wander around, asking for Javert

The Whispering Person has moved on

It’s only the Unknown Woman to find

Does anybody know about a woman but nobody knows who she is?

The Big Farm is gossipy

The General Vicinity of Paris

Eventually I found her on an island in the river

She’s so cynical about musical people

Being unknown for so long has put her in a bad mood

I got her a sparkling water

Does she feel stuck?

Stuck, like Javert?

If she’s thought of, she’ll move on

Javert got a book from Mr. Know-It-All

A book about tough guy stuff

He recently left the island

Javert said, “Etta,” a lot

Checking in with G and DK

Etta Place, probably not

Etta Candy was a fictional friend of Wonder Woman

Famous Ettas

Trying to find a French Etta

Etta could be short for Henrietta

Or Greta

Looking up more Henriettas

Henrietta Marie – this is close

She was a French queen and polarizing

She was also T-R-A-G-I-C

She was married to an English king

She had strong belief systems, like Javert

Also pretty unpopular

She’s stuck on the same river

Tracking down Henrietta Maria

She had some serious viewpoints

A sympathetic portrait of Javert

She had never crossed paths with Javert

Focus on the book

I met with our clients, Richie and James

Checking with Mr. Skiff again

James is looking for Jiff

And Mr. Skiff knows Jiff

I tend to the skiff while Mr. Skiff is at the dinner theatre show

Richie, James, and I ended up running the skiff

The Snoring Snorlax Show

James has seen this show before, to Richie’s dismay

RW sunk and broke the skiff

I update them

A book named Etta?

Edda is the book

Edda is a written tradition of stories that the show is about!

We have our new lead!

We had some fun waiting and resting

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1321

Title: Skiff to Javert | Get Besos in the Sky PI E2

Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Calm History podcast; Story Only Feed; Emily Tat Artwork; Crisis Textline; Referral Program

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Anker Soundcore; Dave’s Killer Bread; Acorns

Notable Language:

• Strip Smart Lights
• Old Smart Bulb
• Longing for the Days of Analog Lights
• A Degree in Co-Smart Homing
• Always Never Getting Started
• Showered With Positivity
• Gleaming Nature
• De-Gleamer
• Skiff Around
• Earth-Bound Beings (EBBs)
• No Javerts
• Stuck By The River
• Whispering Person that Lives in the Opera House
• Etta
• The Snoring Snorlax Show
• Defective Skiff

 

Notable Culture:

• • The Gripes About Bulbs Podcast

• The Facts of Life

• • Antonio Banderas

• Get Besos

• Big Farm in the Sky, PI

• Les Miserables

• • Princess Diana
  • Phantom of the Opera
  • Etta James
  • Wonder Woman

• Fringe

• Red Dead Redemption

• Henry James
• Frederick Dougass
• Henrietta Lacks
• The Snoring Snorlax Show

 

Notable Talking Points:

• Thinking thoughts, holy moly
• Thoughts without a dimmer switch
• Believe it or not, I don’t have a dimmer switch
• Sorry to Smart Bulbs
• I bought a dimmer switch on a trip to IKEA
• Old Smart Bulb
• The Gripes About Bulbs Podcast
• Incorrect Facts About Lights
• I’ll use this dimmer switch when I’m well
• My smart light set up
• It still knows when to turn off but that’s it
• I’ll do the thinking for you
• Like handling a tray of dishes to a pratfall comedian
• I’ll talk to your thoughts
• Longing for the Days of Analog Lights
• A Degree in Co-Smart Homing
• Barely reading an out of focus picture
• Always Never Getting Started
• Explaining the Structure
• A tangent on bulbs
• Putting barely a smile on your face
• This series is a bit of a surprise
• Is that miso in there?
• A box of episodically modular stuff
• Antonio showers or bathes us in charisma
• Antonio is definitely not a 2-in-1 conditioner/shampoo
• We take our time with Antonio
• He has a gleaming nature
• Naturally Gleaming Sounds
• Put this de-gleamer on, Antonio
• I lost my recorder, Diane
• Big Farm in the Sky PI???
• On the case for some legends
• They’re missing a guy
• A reliable contact, Mr. Skiff
• He runs a ferry over a river
• Let’s skiff around
• Does he know where this person is?
• If I want my business open, I gotta keep my mind open
• A lot of people go through Mr. Skiff
• Singing a skiffing song
• Do fictional people ever cross over here?
• Fiction sounds like an earthly idea
• Mr. Skiff talks in generalities
• Fictional people do cross over, nowadays
• Can he identify a fictional being for me?
• Loose lips sink skiffs
• Mr. Skiff is trying to change a relationship
• I have 2 tickets to a dinner theatre show
• Perfect for a date…
• If I forgotfully left these tickets here, I’d want Mr. Skiff to have them…
• Looking for Inspector Javert
• Mr. Skiff is familiar with the musical
• Looking for the real Javert, not someone who has played him
• No Javerts
• I give him one ticket but I see he knows more
• Maybe someone else is also looking for Javert…
• Inspector Javert’s mother is looking for them
• What a loving mother
• She’s trying to make up for stuff
• I waited on the shore to Javert’s mother
• I finally see her talking to Mr. Skiff
• Javert’s mother wasn’t in the musical
• She believes Javert is stuck
• He went into the river
• Water blocks people from entering the new realm
• Stuck By The River
• That’s a lead!
• This is where I need G and DK
• Maybe I’m the one to help Javert
• G and DK are blown away by this case
• Limitless Space
• They were stuck on this person being famous
• Maybe I should talk to the Whispering Person that Lives in the Opera House
• They say I should tell hi to Princess Diana if I see them
• Everyone will recognize famous people in the afterlife
• A Famous Unknown Woman
• Princess Di’s essence is sparkling everywhere
• I wander around, asking for Javert
• The Whispering Person has moved on
• It’s only the Unknown Woman to find
• Does anybody know about a woman but nobody knows who she is?
• The Big Farm is gossipy
• The General Vicinity of Paris
• Eventually I found her on an island in the river
• She’s so cynical about musical people
• Being unknown for so long has put her in a bad mood
• I got her a sparkling water
• Does she feel stuck?
• Stuck, like Javert?
• If she’s thought of, she’ll move on
• Javert got a book from Mr. Know-It-All
• A book about tough guy stuff
• He recently left the island
• Javert said, “Etta,” a lot
• Checking in with G and DK
• Etta Place, probably not
• Etta Candy was a fictional friend of Wonder Woman
• Famous Ettas
• Trying to find a French Etta
• Etta could be short for Henrietta
• Or Greta
• Looking up more Henriettas
• Henrietta Marie – this is close
• She was a French queen and polarizing
• She was also T-R-A-G-I-C
• She was married to an English king
• She had strong belief systems, like Javert
• Also pretty unpopular
• She’s stuck on the same river
• Tracking down Henrietta Maria
• She had some serious viewpoints
• A sympathetic portrait of Javert
• She had never crossed paths with Javert
• Focus on the book
• I met with our clients, Richie and James
• Checking with Mr. Skiff again
• James is looking for Jiff
• And Mr. Skiff knows Jiff
• I tend to the skiff while Mr. Skiff is at the dinner theatre show
• Richie, James, and I ended up running the skiff
• The Snoring Snorlax Show
• James has seen this show before, to Richie’s dismay
• RW sunk and broke the skiff
• I update them
• A book named Etta?
• Edda is the book
• Edda is a written tradition of stories that the show is about!
• We have our new lead!
• We had some fun waiting and resting

Episode 1321 – Skiff to Javert | Get Besos in the Sky PI E2

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster that’s here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. If you’re new here or you’re coming back, I am so glad you’re here. This show is a bit different. It’s like a silly friend that’s talking to you in the deep, dark night, a little bit goofy…but I don't have anything silly to say right now, because I really want you to know I’m here to help. If you’ve found your way to the show, I hope this show could find your way…its way…not into your heart, but around…not even…around…like where you say, hey, this pod…I don't want…alls this podcast…goal is to be…and this show’s not half bad.

 

I don't really mind it that much. I listen to it all the time. This show’s very different. It’s friendly. I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night. It’s different than…I’m not here to put you to sleep or tell you how to fall asleep or what you should be doing. I’m not here to change your mind about anything or do anything fancy. It’s just a friend in the deep, dark night telling you goofy stories. Yeah, tonight it’ll be our episodically modular series. So, it should be pretty boring and meandering. So, if you’re looking for something like that, I’m really glad you found your way to the show. What we got coming up is support, then a long, meandering intro that eases you into bedtime, and then our episodically modular series.

 

So, what do you say we keep going? This show is made possible by people that support it on Sleep With Me+, the people that support our sponsors, and people that spread the word about the show or spread their kindness. Or if you’re not interested in helping with Sleep With Me, support or spread the word about it on other podcasts you love. It’s huge. Just spread the word about podcasts in general. Thanks so much, and here’s a couple ways we’re able to do this for you.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be thoughts on your mind that you’re thinking about, thoughts about the past, thoughts about the present, thoughts about…you know, thinking thoughts, holy moly, and thoughts that you can't…I don't know, for me, I was just imagining if I had…if there was an off switch or a dimmer switch.

 

I don't know if I’ve ever…I mean, I imagine…no, I’ve definitely never tried it, 'cause I don't have a internal…I don't have a dimmer switch, external or internal. Believe it or not, I did not come with a dimmer switch. Oh, a dimmer switch, what’s that? That’s a good question. It may be a colloquial term. So, maybe around the world, you don’t…you use a different term. Also…well, now there’s…I hate to call them this, but digital lights. I don't know what else to call…smart bulbs; that’s what they call them. Sorry, smart bulbs, I…talk about thoughts at bedtime. No wonder I’m overthinking; too many smart bulbs or smart lights. Not even a bulb; it’s a strip, a strip of smart lights. They got a lot to say. But a dimmer switch before…I don't know if those were analog lights.

 

Hold the…you know, I actually bought a dimmer switch — I’m sure I’ve talked about it on the podcast — at one of my trips to IKEA either when I was at my old apartment or this current apartment. I said…it was…I don't know, it was a few bucks. I said, oh boy, this is gonna come in handy. Turns out, that only…that dimmer switch only worked with incandescent lights, not analog lights, 'cause those don’t exist, apparently, at least according to the light expert in my brain, Old Smart Bulb. I can't quiet him down. At bedtime…any time the lights come up, Old Smart Bulb’s got something to say, as opposed to Smarmy Bulb, who…I don't even know what they’re…I say, okay, I can't even deal with…I got my hands full with Smart Bulb. Oh, you have your hands full of smart bulbs? Why don’t you try a strip?

 

‘Cause I’d probably get wrapped it in. It’s got…how come it only comes with one piece of tape on the whole thing, you know? I mean, come on. But anyway, enough gripes about bulbs. I thought this was a sleep podcast, not the Gripes About Bulbs podcast, an incorrect…incorrect facts about lights. Was he talking about the facts of life? I don't think so. What about…was he talking about The Facts of Life TV show? No. I think he was talking about incorrect facts about lights. He was positing that there was a digital…it turns out he was correct, maybe. I have no idea. But so, I bought this dimmer switch for lights, and I haven't used it. I held onto it, though. I said, one day, when my…oh boy, once I get this dimmer switch working, that’s gonna be when…you know, the…I hit the big time.

 

You know it’s…you know I’m gonna be emotionally well when I find a way to use this thing. That’s when it all comes together. It hasn’t happened yet. But so, a dimmer switch…that one…I also have one in my bedroom, which does have built-in LED lights, so I barely use my bedroom lights. But nicely enough, the landlord…it has a dimmer switch, which just means what it says. It makes the lights dimmer or brighter. I haven't…obviously if you’ve just heard my past tan…this past ten-minute tangent about lights, I haven't figured out how to do it with my thoughts, about lights or any other thing. Oh, there goes Old Smart Bulb. He’s bulb-splaining me about…does he really…believes there’s such a thing as digital and analog lights? He has a lot to say about incandescence, too. So, just let him go.

 

Sooner or later he’ll…he doesn't know he’s set on a auto switch, so, he’s gonna go off, anyway. Speaking of which…just another tangent…so, I do have a very…I’d say a ten-year-old smart light in my room, which is…it’s different…I bought it before they had the wake-up lights and stuff, or maybe I bought it instead 'cause it was on sale. It’s really worked great. I use it as a wake-up light. I just have it set to a smart timer. Unfortunately, at some point in the last six months, it’s gotten older, it’s…sometimes it can fall. So, it’s…but it can no longer connect to my system. So, when I turn out all the other lights…it still knows to wake me up, unfortunately, the only thing it remembered how to do. It doesn't remember what time it’s supposed to turn off, but it remembers what time is…back when my schedule was to get up earlier.

 

But that’s nobody’s fault. So, now I just turn it off myself. So, yeah, if you’re thinking about stuff, this may be the podcast to take your mind off of stuff. I’ll do the thinking for you. You’d say, well, that’s like handing a plate…a platter of food or glasses to a falling comedian. I’d say, yeah, well, there’s carpet here. It’s a carpeted room, and it’s not in your home. So, that’s my job. You hand me your thoughts, and, yeah, I’ll bobble them around, but I’ll put them on a tray in a carpeted room in some sort of place where there’s staff to clean up after me, and I’ll take your thoughts and walk around with them, and I’ll…believe it or not, I’ll talk to them, sing to them, debate about…what was the least-relevant thing he said? Analog lights, I believe.

 

I don't long for the day of analog lights, actually. I’m a big fan of being able to tell my lights to turn off. Not a big fan of aspirationally…of the aspirational pressure to create a calendar or whatever, some sort of smart schedule. Every once…that’s a life lesson. Every once in a while, I get it down, and then life changes. I say, oh boy, I don't know how I’m gonna get all these things to talk to each other once again. I could get a degree in that, like smart…co-smart homing for all the smart home devices that have to co-smart home together. Sit down in a room with them and talk it out. They would have a lot to say about me, 'cause I gotta watch it all day long.

 

So, thinking could be keeping you awake. It could be feelings, emotions that are coming up for you related to those thoughts, it could be changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be traveling, you could have guests, you could be going through something, anticipating something, maybe you work a different schedule. The only reason I run through all that is so you know when you’re here, you’re a part of something, that there is a space for you to kinda be seen in this…and this doesn't have to do with lighting, but in a strange digital…I don't know.

 

This is really a digital community of people that get it, and they might not know exactly what you’re going through, what’s keeping you awake, or what’s causing your sleep disruption, but they probably can relate to it, and even if they can't relate to it, they care because they’ve been in a similar place. Here’s the good news; there’s enough people listening that there’s really people that care, that are glad you’re here, but that are like, you know what? I live in a totally different part of the world, but I’ve been through something really close to that, and I’m so glad you’re here. I hope this podcast helps you like it helped me. I was looking for something…I didn’t even like this podcast when I first started listening to it. I just got a e-mail from that…like that today.

 

She said…and then it was a year later she came back to the show, and now she’s supported it for two or three years. So, I hope this podcast can help you out. If it doesn't, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou…you could check out that website. There’s other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there. But I make this show because I know what it’s like and I believe you deserve a good night's sleep, a place you could get some rest, the rest you need so your life is more manageable. What I’ll do here is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents.

 

So, I’ll go off topic, I’ll get mixed up — we’ve already seen that — I’ll go…I’ll just talk on and on and on, 'cause this is a podcast you just barely listen to, like a out-of-focus picture, like when you’re reading but you’re not processing, but you’re still kinda reading along or you’re just drifting off and your thoughts kinda start to fragment, or you’re listening to music on the radio like three houses down…someone’s doing yardwork, like those things where things are just at a nice distance or it’s just…like trying to hold onto sand, I guess is what this podcast is. So, see how it goes. This is also…it’s a podcast you don’t listen to. It’s also a podcast…like I said, it takes some getting used to, ‘cause if you came here, you’re probably skeptical, you’re probably doubtful, you’re probably frustrated.

 

You’ve been looking for something to help you fall asleep, you’ve been trying different stuff, and then you find this show and you’re like, okay, wait a second, yeah…people recommended this or I heard about it or I found it in a search. I don't even understand what this dude is doing. So, give it a few tries and see how it goes, 'cause for the people it works for, it’s like, on the second or third try, they go, oh, okay, he was serious when he said this podcast is always going nowhere, always never getting started, that it is like a silly friend. I was waiting for it to start or to make sense or to do some Zen thing, and it never did. So, just give yourself some space, 'cause you deserve a good night's sleep.

 

You deserve a bedtime whether it’s with this show or another sleep podcast or something else, where you have a place you could get rest and you can look forward to bedtime. So, just see how it goes. Again, if you loathe me and the podcast after two or three tries or sooner, go to sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. What else do you need to know? Oh, this is a podcast…it’s a sleep podcast. I’ve been making it eleven years, I think? Maybe…I don't even know. A long time, and…but it’s a sleep podcast that doesn't put you to sleep. This is a podcast where there’s no pressure to fall asleep. I’m gonna be here for over an hour. I’m gonna be here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could drift off. That’s why the episodes are over an hour.

 

There’s over 600 shows, I think, in the archives you could access, or 300 shows. So, you could listen to as many episodes as you need, 'cause there’s no pressure to fall asleep. There’s people who are listening who need a break during the day or who can't sleep at all, and I’m here to keep you and them company. I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-sib, your bore-bae, your neigh-bore, your bore-bud, your Borbie, your bores, your bore-friend, your best bore-friend f’eva, and, yeah, just be a nice voice in the deep, dark night, whether you’re waking up and listening to me, you’re listening to me at bedtime, or whenever, episode after episode after episode. So, that’s…those are a couple things to know.

 

The other thing I always go through with the intros is the structure of the show, because for new people, it can really throw people off. So, I want to meet you where you are and tell you what to expect, and then you can adjust. Most people listen to this version of the podcast that’s ad-supported and linear, and they kinda build their bedtime around it. Now, you can adjust, but the structure’s built that way. It starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then there’s support so the podcast…paying for it’s optional, and if…and then there’s the intro. So, if you prefer something without ads, you can get that at Sleep With Me+, but for most people, this works. Then there’s a long, meandering intro.

 

If you’re new…for some reason, people that don’t like the support or whatever lump the intro in with that, and they say it’s thirty minutes of him talking about himself or whatever, and I guess it is. The intro is a show within a show, nothing to do with the support, where I try to explain what the podcast is very inefficiently, and at some point I go on a tangent — this time it was early — about bulbs. Was he talking about bulbs like flower bulbs? No. Was he talking about…? I don't know, honey. I have no…I slept so good. Maybe he was talking about…maybe he was…I don't know. Yeah. Were you gonna say bulbs? Yeah, maybe he’s just using the word ‘bulbs’ and trying to figure out where in the world someone would say ‘bulbs’, and he didn’t know. So…yeah, and then his tangent petered out and ran out of gas.

 

So, what was I even…? Oh, structure. So, the intro, it follows a similar structure every time, but it’s different every time. It would be more efficient for me to do a short intro or repeat the intro every episode, but this podcast is not here to just put you to sleep. It’s here to ease you into sleep. So, the intro goes on and on and on, and while there is a percentage of people that fall asleep during the intro, most people are getting in bed and getting comfortable, getting ready for bed or winding down, doing a chill activity or whatever, petting their pets, drawing, knitting, hooking, staring out the window, stretching, foam-rolling — you could try out what works for you — just laying around, but easing into bedtime, 'cause that’s what’s been shown to work. It’s what works for me, is to ease into sleep.

 

So, that’s what the intro is. If you decide, I like the stories from Sleep With Me…I don't like the intros, Bedtime Stories from Sleep With Me is a ad-supported podcast you can listen to in any podcast app. People that support the show on Sleep With Me+ get access to hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of story-only versions. But for most people, this intro, it’s kinda like the time we get together and chat, but you’re…you kind of only…where you start to realize, oh, I don't have to pay too much attention to him. Oh, there goes my bore-friend again. Oh yeah, he goes on tangents about bulbs and stuff, and I barely pay him any…I don't pay him any mind anymore.

 

So, that’s what the intro is, then there’s, again, support so the show is…paying for it’s optional, and then a long bedtime story, about forty minutes, fifty minutes, an hour, that you could listen to, or you could set a sleep timer, or you could barely listen to it. I’m here to the very end, though, whether you’re awake or asleep, telling you a story, keeping you company, 'cause I think that’s what works about this show, is that we’re a part of something together, but I get to be the one kind of holding the space or whatever and saying, hey, don't worry, I’ll be here talking for you. So, I don't know, regular listeners, I’m so glad you’re back.

 

New listeners, I’m glad you’re here, and I hope you discover that this is a podcast that helps you out, puts barely a smile on your face, and maybe lets you feel a little bit more at ease and a little bit at home in a general sense. Like, hey, there’s other people out there that know what it feels like, know how I feel, that see me. So, yeah, I’m glad…I appreciate you coming by. We work really hard on the show, a team of people, 'cause we yearn and we strive. We really want to help you fall asleep. So, thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways we’re able to do it for you.

 

Alright everybody, Scoots here. It’s time for our episodically modular series. This is a little bit of a surprise. So, I won't introduce the series because it’s a surprise. Maybe you’re sleeping through it or maybe you’re catching up on it. But don't worry; if this is your first time listening to an episodically modular story, oh boy, is this gonna be episodic…this will be episodically modular with just a touch of seriality. But in this particular case, you’d say, what is that? Is that miso or a touch of seriality in there? You’d say, I don't know. Maybe…I mean, I think both could make it pretty good, but…so, it just means this is a bedtime story.

 

It will feel new, but it will be related…you know, it’ll be episodically mod…it’ll be in the same episodically modular…like if you were buying that box that said, oh, this is full of episodically modular…and last…recently, you listened to Get Besos, Season, whatever, 4, Episode 1. This will be in that box, but it’ll also be a nice, little surprise, I think. That was also to help me buy time for our Hollywood announcer who comes all the way from the Greater Los Angeles Area to come here to shower us…I mean, sometimes when I’m with him, I wonder if I’m showering or bathing. I guess I have to choose, 'cause it’s charisma, joy, gratitude, something…he’s got it. I mean, that’s when you say, je ne sais quoi? I don't know. Is that…do you bathe in that or do you shower with it or both?

 

‘Cause I’m not saying he’s like a two-in-one conditioner/shampoo. No way, man. I mean, this guy, he is not…I mean, he’s like…if he was a shampoo and a conditioner, you’d say, no, no, I use both separately and I take my time doing it because it’s so pleasureable. I’m not trying to butter him up. I guess I’m just in a mood for…I’ve spent so much time bathing and showering or being showered with his positivity…and he has a gleaming nature. I don't know if I’ve ever said that before, 'cause I’m always looking for words. But he does have…I don't even know what that means, but I think you get it. He has a gleaming nature. He’s shrugging and laughing. Also, it does make…unfortunately, his gleaming nature does have naturally gleaming sounds that are sub-audible to him and to the audience, but not to me.

 

I say, man, can you…before you get here…he said, what is this bottle of stuff you leave outside your front door? I said, it’s de-gleamer. He said, it just looks like a paste you mixed up. I said, well, actually, it’s paste this time. He actually had to point out, if I…if he covered…he said, I don't think this will de-gleam me. It’ll make me more noisy. I said, well, that’s why you’re our Hollywood announcer, Mr. Antonio Banderas. The friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys and girls, it’s time to go to a mystery. Yeah. Sleepy time. Wow, that was actually brilliant. So, this is…that’s Antonio Banderas. This is something cool. Take it away.

 

Hey, Diane. It’s me. It’s been a while since I’ve recorded one of these, but you know I’ve been…I mean, I lost my recorder, Diane, and…but I’ve been working, obviously. I’ve been on the case. But when you’re doing stuff over the long haul, you could…I could lose my…but it’s good to be back, Diane, and the most important thing is that we’re reconnected. I got a new case, new clients. I heard a lot about these clients. I mean, I know of them. I’ve heard of them, heard legends of them, and I’m on the case for them. They’re missing…it’s a person-they’re-missing case. They say, oh boy, we’re missing this guy, and can you help us? So, that’s where things are. That’s the case, Diane; find this person for them. Now, where I started was with one of my contacts, one of my most reliable contacts…but it takes some work.

 

Mr. Skiff, I call him, Diane. Now, I don't think I’ve recorded my interactions with Mr. Skiff, but…who is Mr. Skiff? He runs a skiff, runs a service, runs a ferry, Diane, from Point A to Point B, and it’s an essential service. He helps people cross over a river, and it’s a highly-traveled river. That’s why he’s a great contact, 'cause he sees a lot of people. He does remember…and I said, so, I got ahold of him and I told him what I needed to know. We do a little song and dance, Diane, 'cause he says…well, everything I do…we do this every time, but I’ll do it like it’s the first time. I say, hey, Mr. Skiff…and he says, oh, call me Skiffy. I say, I need some information. Oh, I thought you needed a ride across the river. Or, do you want to just ride around in my skiff? I said, yeah, let’s ride around in your skiff and talk.

 

I say, I’m looking for someone somebody’s longingly thinking of, and I’m wondering if they passed this way. Do you keep track of everybody…? He said, skiffing around is me hobby, but ferrying people is my job. Of course I keep track. It’s my job. I take my job seriously. Now, Diane, I don't think this is the first case I’ve had like this, but it feels like it, and that’s one thing I’ve learned, is to stay open-minded about my cases. As soon as my mind closes, Diane, I might as well close up my business. Big Farm in the Sky PI? No longer. But if I’m gonna be the Big Farm in the Sky PI, I’ve gotta stay open-minded, ‘cause it’s a open world up here, Diane, though there are some archetypes or whatever you want to call them from Earth. This Mr. Skiff, he’s involved in a lot of the traffic because he…a lot of people are familiar with him.

 

As a matter of fact, no matter where people are going, a huge percentage of people go through Mr. Skiff. Not everybody, though, Diane. You don’t need to if you don’t want to. Well, you don’t…you know. Now that I’ve talked about him, you probably will, though. So, I said, yeah, skiff…Mr. Skiff, I like you. I like the way you skiff around. Sometimes he hums or talks to himself or sings a skiffing song when he’s hobbying, unless someone comes on the shore and they need to cross. But I had to ask; I said, I got a question for you, Mr. Skiff. Go ahead with the question. Just two skiffing fans talking right now. You had professional questions earlier, but what’s your question between a skiffer and a skiffee? I said, isn't the skiff the skiffee? He said, is that a question? I said, what, do I only get one question? He said, that’s two, but no.

 

He laughed. I said, people cross over here, and things are different here. I’ve learned to set aside a lot of my Earthly ideas, but do fictional people ever cross by here? He laughed hysterically. He looked at himself, he looked at me, he looked at the skiff, and he said, what do you mean ‘fictional’? I said, made up. He said, well, that sounds like an Earthly idea, fictional. I said, okay, but…if we were on Earth…and he said…he’d be…was like, oh, yeah, let’s pretend we’re skiffing around on Earth. He tried to pretend he was skiffing around on Earth, which just meant the same thing. He was just doing the same thing, but he was talking to turtles and frogs. I said, okay, we’re on Earth. There’s fictional people.

 

We just saw a film…it was kinda hard talking in generalities, but…especially when he was singing a skiffing song or just…I don't know, he sings songs skiffing. Anyway, Diane, we were able to finally communicate, and we got over that hump. He said, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, people cross over, fictional people, by your…that definition do, especially now with all the reboots, remakes…he goes, more and more. He goes, it just depends on what was going on there. But yeah, if they’re real to somebody, they’re real here. That would be how I explain it to a Earthbound being, even though that’s not exactly the case. That might make sense to a Earthbound being. I say, good, because my assistants are Earthbound beings. He said, oh, how is G and DK? I said, pretty darn good. They’re trying to help me with this case. I need your help.

 

So, fictional beings cross by here. Yes. So, if I was looking for one particular fictional being, would you know if they crossed by here or not? He said, the professional me would, but…so, that would mean the Skiffy me would, too, I guess. So, yeah, yeah, but I can't talk about it. I said, like you physically…? No, no. It’s…and he said, we’re on a boat, which is also a ship, and if my lips are loose, it could sink the old skiff. I said, well, I was just wondering about it, you know. I was wondering about…I’m working. I’m helping some people find a friend, and I was just wondering if you knew. So, it’s good to know that you would know. Like, you would know if they came by. Like, how far in the past would you know?

 

Skiffy said, you know…something like, if you know you know you know, I know you know, but he was singing it more like a skiff…sometimes he talks to his skiff, too. Also, he pets his skiff. It’s not that strange, Diane. It sounds strange. But I said, okay, so, you’d know if someone came by. ‘More than likely’ was the final answer. It’s my job. Of course I would. I mean, unless I didn’t. This is my hobby. But then we went back to the shore, 'cause we had to ferry someone across. He said, this is my job. Very quickly we got someone across, and I had to change tactics, you know, Diane, 'cause…and I asked Mr. Skiff; I said, you’re trying to rekindle your romance, right? Mr. Skiff said, well, not successfully. I said, yeah, it’s tough. It doesn't…that’s one of the things it doesn't change. I mean, I guess it changes and it doesn't change.

 

It’s tough. Relationships are tough, or potential relationships or budding relationships are tough. Mr. Skiff said, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I’m a little down, but…and I said, well, it’s a funny thing; I got here in my pocket these two tickets. I don't know if you heard about this show. It was happening on the other side, you know. You know, there’s gotta be a lot of entertainment, obviously. He said, these…someone paid me for my last case with these tickets. All this is true, Diane, but I had him…I knew I’d need these tickets, or I thought. I said, it’s like some dinner theatre show, but everybody…the tickets sold out. You could see his eyes; he said, oh yeah, no, I’ve heard about that show. People are always talking about it. I said, I heard it makes a great date.

 

It’s like a comedy…I think there’s magic or something, food…he said, that’s the ticket. I said, perfect for a date, I guess. Skiffy said, yeah, yeah, yeah. Then I kinda said, well, maybe I’ll forget to put these tickets back in my pocket…I accidentally leave them on the skiff. If that ever happened, I’d want you to use them, 'cause it would probably mean if I was so forgetful I was going back to work on a case, if I forgotfully left these tickets here in the skiff…and first, he didn’t get it, Diane. I said…then I kinda more explained it. I said, if I got the information I was looking for, I’d probably go to the next phase of my case. Then he kinda nodded. I said, it’s just two people talking to themselves, kind of. I’m just talking, thinking about this case I’m on, and maybe I forget my case.

 

I’m trying to help these two friends find a friend, fictional friend, real people…I don't know. Interesting case I’m on. Mr. Skiff said, I suppose I could not listen to what you’re saying and just sit here in the vicinity. I say, yeah, it’s this Inspector Javert, like from the musical. But then Mr. Skiff’s…already knew. Oh, the musical, the book…never mind. Oh, I’m just talking to the water here. Then…kinda hard to think when he was singing and doing numbers from it. I don't think he strikes me as the innkeeper or…but obviously that was one of the popular numbers. I say, yeah, so, this Inspector Javert…looking for him, the one from the musical. Or…I don't know if it’s the one from the musical or the one from…but just wondering if any…Inspector Javerts only. Not someone that played Javert.

 

So, I guess that would be one delineation. I don't totally get it if it’s…or how many Inspector Javerts have crossed over here, passed by, even. He looked in the other direction. So, it took me three times to realize he was saying, ‘none’. Nope, none, no Javerts. I said, okay, good to know. It’s probably good for one ticket right now. I’ll put this one ticket down here just in case I forget, but I wouldn't even know where to start knowing nothing but other than I’m looking in the wrong place. But I could see in his body language, Mr. Skiff, he knew something more. Otherwise I would have just given him the tickets and tried a different idea. I said, but two tickets…you need two tickets for a date, and…'cause I wouldn't even know where else to try to find this Javert. Then he said, maybe someone else is looking for them.

 

He even said, dum, dum, dum. I said, huh, someone else is looking for Javert other than the people I’m looking…someone that knows them? ‘Cause at first, my attention was piqued, you know, but then he said, their mother. I said, whose mother? Inspector Javert’s mother. Oh, okay. I said, what do you mean, Inspector Javert’s mother’s looking for them? Mr. Skiff kinda…we set aside all the pretense, you know, 'cause I took the other ticket out and put it down. Inspector Javert’s mother apparently was coming there on a regular basis, Mr. Skiff said, looking for him, wondering if he had came by, the same as me. I said, whoa, what a loving mother. He said, well, I think she’s trying to make up for…she’s concerned. I think she wanted to make up for stuff with her son, maybe.

 

But yeah, he hasn’t come by. So, she keeps checking. I said, well, could you ask a couple more…could I ask a couple more questions? No. Could you ask her some questions for me? He said, no, but you can wait on the other side of the river. You’re free to move about as you please. Now, the good thing is…Diane, I record these. So, eventually she came by, and he said, just lay in my skiff and whisper to me. Of course he told somebody else was looking for her son, and she said, who? He said, a friend…I guess he’s got friends. She said, oh, that’s good. That’s good he made friends. But he never had asked, I guess, 'cause this is his job or something. I said, well, where do you think he is? Why do you keep checking?

 

She said, well, I think he’s probably…I heard about the books and the musical…'cause I wasn’t in the musical, she said, but…I don't think. I don't know, but…I don't remember from the musical. But she said, I think he’s stuck. I said, what do you mean, stuck? Like, well, 'cause he went into the river, and…'cause he went swimming, she said. She goes, I believe that water…that’s the way…that’s one of the things I believe, water kinda blocks people from entering a new realm. I said, so, he’s…he could just be hanging out on the riverside, blocked by the river. Skiffy loved that. Stuck by the river…I said, okay. So, I said, that’s a lead there. Thanks, Skiffy, thanks. We moved on. I mean, there was more talk about it, but that was the substance of it, Diane. So, then I got…Diane, I got ahold of…I said, okay, the river’s blocking him.

 

He went for a swim in the river. This is where I need G and DK, 'cause this is their area of specialty. She also said, maybe his friends are from the river. Maybe…just see…hopefully someone’s helping him out, or…'cause that was another question, I guess, Diane. I didn’t clear that up. Like, how long you need to keep coming? ‘Til he comes through. Somebody will help him sooner or later. But then I was like, maybe that’s me, Big Farm in the Sky PI. I’m already on the case. It makes sense. So, then I started to do some basic research while I was waiting for G and DK to kinda call me back, in the Earthly parlance. I said, there’s no way we’re gonna…this is a whole river, and hundreds of years…I can't just go walking around this river, I don't think. I said, what am I gonna do? I wouldn't even know where to start.

 

At first, G and DK were kinda blown away, right, about the musical, about fictional beings being…they said, what do you mean? Does that mean it’s…? I said, well, it’s limitless space. It’s not even space. ‘Cause they were like, wouldn't it get over-full if there’s…? There’s enough regular…what is that like? I said, I don't know. I don't hang around with…I haven't hung around with any fictional people that I know of. They’re just people. He said, oh. Huh, that’s…it’s too many thought experiments for humans to deal with it. But I said, can we focus? They said, yeah, focus on doing some interviews. I said, well, who should I interview? They go, people that were in the…they were still stuck in this famous thing, not just fictional, but famous, which kinda worked out because they drew up a list, right?

 

‘Cause they put in the years…they got the internet there…and said, okay, and this is strange, Diane, 'cause I had heard it talked about before, but the person in the opera house, the whispering person that lived in the opera house that also was in the musical, that was at the top of their list; 1881 versus 1832-ish, general years. Inspector Javert; 1832. Opera person; 1881. They also were like, what about…? They were…I guess…talk about relevant; Princess Diana. Everybody loves Princess Di. That was in the 1990s, though. But they said, if you meet her, please tell her we said ‘hi’. So, I said, okay, the 1990s, probably not. I said, keep focusing. I said, why does it gotta be famous? They said, 'cause everybody will know famous people. You could just ask around to find them. I said, oh, man, you’re right.

 

So, then they said, there’s this famous chorus girl…that was 1830 to 1840. So, that’s a good lead, solid lead, and then a famous unknown person. They said, there’s a famous unknown woman, believe it or not. That was around the 1880s, too. So, we started there. I asked around about Princess Di for them, but they said, no, no, she’s…her essence is everywhere, sparkling like Antonio Banderas on a sleep podcast, they said. But they said, yeah, no, we haven't…she’s moved on. So, then I said, what about this…remember the guy from the musical? No one picked up on Javert, by the way, but I started leading with that. Everyone said, oh yeah, inside my mind. Oh, of course.

 

So, this is post-Earthly people, Diane, by the way, just in case you’re thinking I’m walking around talking to people, you know, post-Earthly people that are still out and about. They said, yeah, that person from the musical from the opera started…they were here for a while, but then they met a chorus girl, and they…and then they kinda helped one another and they moved on. So, that didn’t work. So, then it was down, for the time being, at least, to this unknown woman. That was a bit slap-sticky, Diane, but it ended up working eventually. ‘Cause I said, does anybody know the unknown woman? They said, what? Then I finally said, okay, let me try to reframe this. ‘Cause these are people between realms, right, Diane? So, they still got some Earthly stuff and some post-Earthly stuff.

 

I said…I was thinking about gossip, so I said, anybody know…? You know about a woman that everybody knows about but nobody knows who she is? They said, oh, you’re talking about…yeah, that…said, yeah, that woman. They said, oh yeah, yeah, she’s…they gave me directions, ‘cause this is like Paris, you know? It’s like…or a general vicinity of Paris, you know? So, then I…they sent me…they gave me directions. Now, Diane, this might be cool; I was above this…I was in the river, under the river, all around the river, but it’s different for me. So, I found her, and she was kind of on this island, right, is the best way I can…in the river on a island, and I didn’t know how to approach this. So, I said, well, okay, everybody knows about this, the chorus girl and the person from the opera.

 

So, I said, well, have you seen the person from the musical? Then she goes, which one? She rolled her eyes, Diane. I said, the famous one. She goes, famous? Neither one of them is famous. I said, oh yeah, you’re right about that. Oh boy, are you. She was not in the best of moods, Diane, but I think being unknown for hundreds of years probably…so, I led with…well, okay, yeah, it sounds like you know both of them. She goes, oh yeah. She goes, the one from the opera…she wasn’t…the most pleasant things to say about them. I said, okay. I said, is there anything I could do for you? She actually asked me for…anyway…sparkling water. I said, no problem. I’ll get it taken care of. I see you don’t want…you’re doing alright on this island? Yeah, yeah.

 

This is…everybody knows who I…doesn't know who I…everybody knows who I am by not knowing who I am. I said, so, you don’t have any desire to move on, or are you…? She goes, stuck like Javert? I said, what do you mean, stuck like Javert? She goes, yeah, stuck on this island with him for a while. Well, he didn’t leave ‘til…that long ago. She said, I don't mind being stuck here. She goes, once somebody remembers me, I’ll move on. I was thinking in my head, I’ll never forget this, but I didn’t want to tell her that, you know. I figured it’d be a nice surprise. All I had to do to be of service of her is remember her, which I did, or I am, or you will, Diane. If you think of her, she’s moved…she’s transferred realms now. But she said, oh yeah, I know Javert. I said, so, how long…? Whatever.

 

She said, I don't know. It feels like a million years. Then he got that book. She said, and then he was Mr. Know-it-all. I said, what kind of book? She said, I don't know. He was talking about all this macho stuff. When he got here, he was really lost, and then he…he was looking for a mothering figure. I tried to do that, but we were stuck on this island. Then he finds this book that washes up, reads that over and over again. I said, what was in the book? She said, I don't know, tough-guy stuff? I have no idea. She goes, to be honest, I just pretended to listen to him 'cause it got…alls he could do was talk about it. So, I kinda…you remember that sleep podcast? I said, no, don’t remember it. She got a kick out of that one. She loves things not being remembered.

 

But she said, yeah, I just pretended to listen to him. Uh-huh, uh-huh, okay, great. Uh-huh. I said, is the book around? She said, no, no, he took it with him. It was falling apart, anyway. Then she said, at some point he realized he was no longer bound to the island. It wasn’t that long ago. So, he just headed out. I said, but you don’t have the book that he had, and you didn’t listen to him other than to think the book’s about…? Any other things he said that make you think about where he was going? She said, no, no. I mean, it’s been a relief. I said, I guess…I came back. I said, man…I said, I’ll get you some…I’ll never forget you, and bring you the sparkling water. But I’m really…I’m actually trying to…I’m a big fan of his and I want to help him out with some stuff. So, if you can remember anything else at all…she said, Edda.

 

I said, Edda? She said, Edda, yeah. He said that a lot. I said, okay. So, we came back…I came back, got ahold of G and DK, and I said…I said…they said…I told him the same thing I’m telling you, Diane. Our only…he moved on recently, but he didn’t go through Skiffy’s…and his mom…so, we…but…Edda. So, they said, okay, Edda, like Etta James. Etta Place was another one they were very familiar with. They said, Etta James? No, probably not. So, they were like, Etta Place…that was like in the west of the United States, so probably not Etta Place. Then they said, fictional…remember Etta Candy, who was a friend of Wonder Woman’s? They said, but that’s probably not gonna fit, too…‘cause they were trying to trace it to France. They said, but that’s kinda…maybe it was a comic book about Etta…?

 

They said, it could have been a modern…we didn’t get a date of when the book washed up. Then they were like, was there a book for the TV show Fringe? ‘Cause that was Etta Bishop on Fringe, and there was also, I guess, a character in some Western video game and another TV show. They said, probably not. ‘Cause they were looking up France and rivers and stuff while we were talking. Then I think it was…DK said, well, what about…? Etta Place was Henrietta Place. So, then they were like, yeah, there’s so many Henriettas. So, we had Henrietta Lacks, but that was ‘51, 1951. Greta, they said…Henrietta, Greta, Garbo, but that was also 1990s. Anetta Oakley, Annie Oakley…that was in the 1920s, though. Linetta from a book, Catcher in the Rye.

 

Also, Jon Fishman goes by Henrietta, but that’s…like Loretta Lynn, Jon Fishman, they’re still making music. Then Portrait of a Lady by Henry James, Henrietta Stackpole. So, we said, okay, maybe. That’s 1881. Then we had Henrietta Temple, 1837. So, those were fictional ones. But they kept looking, and they said, okay, let’s keep looking up Henriettas. Then there was Henrietta Anne of England; that was 1670, but we couldn't trace her. Then Henrietta Lacks in the 1800s, who worked with Frederick Douglas. I said, okay, well, I can't quite get her to France in a river. Henrietta Vinton Davis; that was in the 1990s in the US. Okay. Henrietta Robinson Green…but that was 1990s, too. Then there was Henrietta Marie, and then…you could hear them getting excited. They said, this has gotta be it.

 

The only thing is the years are off, but…I said, what do you mean? They said, okay, Henrietta Marie, she was a queen. She was from France. She was polarizing. So, I said…'cause the other ones, they were going through everything. So, it was almost like they were my team, right? They’re presenting me with this thing, Diane. Okay…also, very much like Jean Valjean…I mean, I’m sorry, Diane. I got all forgetful about…much like Javert, she was T-R-A-G-I-C, you know. Even though she’s real, she was a queen. She was married to a king in England, but she was fiercely on one…she was very…she had strong belief systems, just like Javert, and that could be considered deeply…splits people up, you know?

 

Also, she was very unpopular, which you could say…Javert in the real world, probably unpopular, except for the people that they’re popular with, but also significant. But the same river, Diane, was where…and we said, okay, it’s not in the same place, but it’s outside of Paris. On the river was where she spent her time when she was…so, we said, okay, let’s go find this out. So, I track her down, Henrietta Maria, and I talk to her, and she had some serious viewpoints, Diane. She wanted to tell me about what…'cause she said, what are you doing? I said…who are you? I said, I’m Big Farm in the Sky PI. I’m here to…I don't know. I guess I led with that. I was trying to be professional, since she was a queen. Then she kinda asked me about stuff that I wasn’t comfortable…I said, I’m just here on a professional visit.

 

She said, you really believe you’re a Big Farm in the Sky PI? So, I said, can I just tell you why I’m here, and then you could listen and then you could ask me questions or make comments that are pretending to be questions? Then she said, okay. So, I explained to her everything about Javert, the book, Edda, and I gave…I tried to create a sympathetic portrait. I mean, which it is…at this point it’s a sympathetic portrait, you know? His mom’s looking for him. He read a book…misguided. She probably could relate. She kinda did. I could see it on her face. But I could also see on her face…which she told me, which is that she never…she felt something…when we were talking about it, she never crossed paths with Inspector Javert. She also wondered what he did on Sundays, you know.

 

I said…she was also fiercely intelligent. So, I said, yeah, well, I don't know. I’m trying to help somebody. His mom’s looking for him. His friend’s looking for him. He’s around here somewhere. She goes, it sounds like whatever book he was reading…she goes, he should have been reading one book, but he was reading a different one, and it put a bunch of ideas in his head. She goes, maybe you should focus on the book. I said, yeah, the book, but…so, we were kinda stuck, Diane. I’m like, man, we could research books about…for years, but we’re never gonna get to the bottom of this. I just had to meet…the reason I’m reviewing this is 'cause I met with our clients, and their names are Richie and James. They kinda talk like, ‘buddy, buddy, buddy’. That’s what Richie talks like, RRW.

 

James is a little bit more charismatic, and he kinda…he kind of…they’re kind of like…I guess…yin and yang, I guess I’d say, Diane. Richie really likes to take over. So, I met them at skiff…with Mr. Skiff, 'cause I wanted to check again. I said, well, let me just check if he’s come through. Then I found out they’re not even…they’re only…Richie’s looking for this Javert, but James is looking for someone named Jiff, and Skiffy knows them, too, pretty well. Actually, when we got there, he was getting ready to go to the show. He said, perfect timing. I need somebody to watch the skiff. Just tell him it’s…don’t use the skiff. People will wait. You just gotta tell them we’re under refurbishment. I’ll be back in a little while. Going to get a part, and I’m gonna go to the show. So, he…Skiffy went off to go to the show.

 

Now, I don't know how to put everything that happened into words, Diane, but basically, Richie said, okay…like, as soon as he was gone, he said…people were lining up. Then the next thing you know, the three of us are running the skiff across…and I said, you can't…me and James…but at least I had some professional…I said, okay, I’m just here on a case. I’m just observing. But this guy James is like, Richie can't take over. It’s not our job. I said, well, let’s see if I can get this skiff across the river. For a little while, no one wanted to get in with him, 'cause it looked pretty wobbly. They said, you’re not even…are you even…are we in the right place? I said, yeah, you’re in the right place. This is just…this isn't the guy, right? He said, I’m the guy. I know what…he had a lot to say about it.

 

But then James and I…I was trying…I said, okay, what if we just skiff around and I catch you up on the case while you…? He said, I don't need any practice. He goes, this is a skiff. It’s not a boat. I said, well, that way no one’s listening in, so I could tell you about what’s going on. He said, where did the…Skiffy even go? I said, on a date to that show. James said, oh, the Snory and Snorlax Show? I said, what? He said, oh, sorry…he goes, yeah, yeah, it’s a mythological bedtime story, Magical Dessert Show. He said, yeah, I’ve been to it a couple times. Richie said, I thought you never left…he goes, wait a second, James, you left to go to the show? James said, yeah, but I don't intervene in it. I just was going to see the show. Then they had…and I said, okay…I said, so, that show’s pretty good. He said, oh yeah, it’s great.

 

He said, I’m sure somebody had heard that sleep podcast and got the idea from that sleep podcast, and was like, I’m gonna do a show in the next realm. It’ll be like that show, but live and in person. I said, oh, wow. It sounds really interesting. Now, here’s the thing, Diane; you’re gonna see this coming. For G and DK, it’s less understanding of synchronicity and how it all works. I guess it’s a spoiler, Diane, but I’m…almost time for me to take a rest. But what happened first was that RW sunk the skiff. Then, not only did he sink it, it broke apart. ‘Cause James and I had gotten out, and he said, I’m gonna do some rigorous testing or something. So, then we had to pull him out of the water. But then we had to wait…we were gonna wait for Skiffy, right, and…this is gonna be awkward. We sunk the skiff. Is there a backup skiff?

 

This is what RW said. Who doesn't have a back-up skiff ready to go? He said, defective skiff. Sorry, everybody. He was still holding the pole, though, and…until he kinda bumped into a couple things with the pole. Then James said, Richie, put the pole down, man. But then we started making small talk, Diane. I said, what’s this show about? James said, tell me about the myth…I mean, the case, ‘cause I wasn’t really listening when Richie was…you know. I say, yeah…so, I told him everything, and James just laughed and shook his head. I said, what do you think is so funny?

 

We’re stuck. We have no idea where to go next. If we start looking at Edda…I don't even know what to do. James patted me on the shoulder and said, a book named Ettaa. I said, yeah, like a book…no. I said, the name Etta and a book. Maybe Etta’s is in the book? James said, Edda is the book. I said, Etta is the book? He said, no, Edda, E-D-D, Edda, is the book. I said, how do you know? He said, that’s +what the show is about. I mean, kind of. He goes, Edda’s a oral tradition that got made…that was a poetic tradition that got made into a written tradition of stories. I said, really?

 

There’s a show about it I had tickets to. James said, that’s just the way things work around here. He goes, so, we’ll…he goes, now we’ll go find him. I mean, I guess we gotta wait to see about this skiff and what we’re gonna do about that. We’ll wait for Skiffy to get…and RW said, no, no, no, we’re going. We’re going to Edda. I said…and James said, well…he was the only one that knew, Diane, 'cause I didn’t know. I didn’t talk to G and DK. But so, we sat down on the shore with everybody else waiting around, and when there’s time to wait, it’s different. Time…we had some fun. We rested and we took a nap, got comfortable, closed our eyes, and went to sleep. I’ll talk to you soon, Diane.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)