1291 – Harvest Moon | Alba Salix S2E4

Episode 1291 – Harvest Moon | Alba Salix Season 2 Episode 4

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster that’s here to take you back to Faloria or Farloria. I can't even…Faloria. But if I was delivering something to Loria, I’d probably not say, this is for Loria, Farloria. How far is Loria? Anyway, I’m just doing…it’s just one of the many things I get mixed up, mispronounce…welcome to Sleep With Me. Believe it or not, this is a sleep podcast that doesn't actually put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your neigh-bore, your bore-bestie, your bore-bor, your Borbie.

 

Oh, whoops, that stuff’s later in the podcast…but your friend in the deep, dark night, keep you company, and distract you from whatever’s keeping you up. This show is a little bit different. It does take some getting used to, so just give it a few tries and see how it goes. What we got coming up is…the structure of the show is…we got support so paying for the podcast is optional, then a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime. Some people fall asleep during it, but a lot of people wind down or get in bed and get comfortable during the intro. Then later on we’ll have a episode of our reimagining of Alba Salix, Season 2. So, I’m really glad you’re here. If you’re a regular listener, welcome back. So good to see you again. If you’re new, I’m glad you’re here, too, and I hope you give this show a few tries and you see how it goes and it helps you out get some rest.

 

If you already know the podcast isn't for you, we’ve got a website set up for you. Sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou has other sleep podcasts on there and other sleepy stuff. So, yeah, I think that’s it. I’m glad you’re here, and thanks everybody who supports the show directly on Sleep With Me+ or Apple Podcasts, thanks to everybody that supports the sponsors, thanks to everybody that’s a member of our referral program and refers people to the show, and, yeah, I couldn't…yeah, couldn't do it without all of you and everybody that’s just silently falling asleep and getting comfortable. Holy cow, it’s great to see you and put you to sleep. So, here’s a couple ways we’re able to do it for free twice a week.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be thoughts on your mind, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thinking thoughts, like things you’re thinking about. I mean, that’s what keeps…that’s one of the many things that keeps me up at night, one of the many thoughts. I just wonder…for some reason — I’m not kidding — sometimes words pop in my head.

 

‘Vicissitude’ just popped in my head when I said ‘thoughts’, and I just…do you mind me looking that up? V-I-C-C…vicissitudes definition…yeah, it doesn't have any…change of circumstances. My brain’s just…I’m not even kidding; it was one of those things like…like a heckler. It just…I said, thoughts…I got lots of thoughts. Vicissitudes…so, that’s another thought that comes up. Vicissitudes; changes that happen at different times…I mean, guess my thoughts…you could say it’s vicissitudes 'cause it is…I just busted vicissitudes. Let’s actually look at this definition a little bit more, 'cause this is thoughts…I go off topic, by the way, all the time. Let’s see, we got a lot of options here. How about Britannica, the definition over there? Changes or problems that happen over time often. That’s a little too basic.

 

I mean, I needed something with a little more explanations there. So, I’ll head over to Cambridge and…changes that happen during different times during the life or development of someone or something, especially those that are not so great. Oh yeah, like…I guess I’ll rephrase this sentence. A lot of thoughts going through your head at bedtime, even when you have a good bedtime routine, are just some of the vicissitudes of life, maybe. I don't know. So, huh, I didn’t know that’s what…vicissitudes; ups and downs, but mostly…challenges. I’ll tell you one thing; my vicissitudes have a serious attitude and could be rude, even when I’m clothed in bed and not in the nude. Sorry. Welcome to Sleep With Me.

 

Thoughts…it could be feelings, anything coming up for you physically or emotionally that’s there, 'cause…I mean, I guess I do have an attitude about viccissitude, and especially when my…I don't know, when my thoughts or my feelings and my physical sensations all are working, it doesn't ever feel like they’re actually working together. It’s kinda like parallel play to mess up my sleep, 'cause I don't think they’re in cahoots. Honestly, I don't think I’ve ever stumbled upon this theory before. It’s just a theory, but I do list this stuff every…so, thoughts; those get in the way of my bedtime, feelings, emotions, and physical sensations. Those get…have gotten in the way of my sleep lately, and a lot of other things. I list changes in time, temperature, routine.

 

Actually, right now, all of those are…going through something, getting through…getting over something, returning from travel, going on travel, having guests, having a different work schedule…I list all that stuff 'cause sometimes it’s just one thing that’s keeping you awake, and sometimes it’s a multitude of vicissitudes. I don't know if that’s correct, but…that are keeping you awake, and…why do I list all that? Is so you know you’re not alone in the deep, dark night. I’ve tried to phrase it in other ways, but there’s someone out there in the darkest moments of night, whether you listen to this podcast or not, but particularly with the community around the show, who are mostly just silent listeners that passively listen to the show.

 

I could tell you what; I know they’re not being passive now, some of them. Somewhere in the world, when you’re kind of in that deep, dark night place, they can relate to how you feel, and maybe some of them, maybe even me…not only can we relate to how you feel, maybe someone somewhere has been through something very similar. I only point that out because it’s important, because there’s someone who’s a long-term listener, a medium-term listener, or maybe even recently found this show who is so glad you’re here, and they say, yeah, I do know how that feels. That’s what keeps me up at night or has kept me up at night, and I’m really glad you’re here.

 

I hope this podcast can help you out, too, like it’s helped me out. They’re holding a space for you, silently across the world, maybe in a different part of the…a toTally different place. But I don't know if you could feel that. I can, and I’m not the most feeling-based person, but it’s true that there…you’re welcome here. Even if you never listen again, strangely enough, you’re part of a community now, and it’s a low-attachment community. I don't know if that’s a term, but somebody could…somebody look that up and let me know, but that’s kinda the way I could describe it from going forward. It’s high-caring, low-attachment. I only mean…that just popped in my head, but it kinda fits.

 

Most people, they’re thinking of you and just sending you out positive vibes because they can relate to it, and then this podcast takes their mind off of stuff, too. The silliness and vicissitudes of life…it really is what it’s about. I don't know, they care for you even though they don’t know you and even though there’s no obligation on either end. They’re hopeful this podcast will help you out, and then one day you’ll be sending those caring vibes or holding a loving place in your heart for somebody else with this podcast. But that’s pretty low-lift, right? It’s a low-attachment podcast. While we do rely on people that take a high attachment and support the show and stuff like that, most people, they’re just out there.

 

But they can relate and they care, and they also believe that you deserve the bedtime you…a bedtime you don’t have to dread, a bedtime you could look forward to or feel neutral about, and the sleep you need so your life is more manageable, and the rest you need so you could even be out there flourishing, that you could get the rest you need and say, okay, now I’m getting a good night's sleep. So, I don't know, those are two important things for you to know if you’re new. Now, the other important thing to know is most people don’t like the show. This show is not for everybody, but for most of the people…is a large number of people that became real fans of this podcast. It took two or three tries for them to get used to the podcast anyway.

 

So, if you’re not sure about the show, if you’re skeptical, you’re doubtful, you’re like, wait a second, I thought this was a sleep podcast and you’re talking about vocabulary probably incorrectly…now you’re getting serious but you’re talking kind of in a way that’s…I don't quite understand. I’m not even sure you know what…and I say, you’re right about that. Holy cow. I think you get the podcast already. But it does take some getting used to, right, to say, oh, okay. So, just see how it goes. I’m really glad you’ve checked the show out and I hope it can help you fall asleep, but for most people, it takes a few tries. Then you kinda realize, oh, this podcast is always never going anywhere. So, just see how it goes.

 

Again, like I said earlier, if you already decided this podcast is not gonna be for you, check out sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou…has other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there. A couple other things in addition to everything I already listed that takes some getting used to is this is a podcast that you don’t really listen to. It’s kinda like background noise that you could kinda just barely pay attention to, like a fuzzy picture or a TV on in the other room, or like a friend you call and you say, hey, talk to me about a bunch of stuff, but I’m not really gonna listen to you or pay you any mind. I’m gonna barely pay attention to you, but I want you to talk for my benefit so I could sleep, so you could…but you have to be just barely engaging.

 

That’s something you can really understand when you’re in the middle of it, right? Explaining it to somebody, you’re like, wait a second, what? You want me to just talk? Yeah, talk about your breakfast in a mundane way but not too mundane, and please don’t be cloying or talk down to me. Talk to me with respect. But I’m not…also, I’m not…like, so much respect that you know I’m not gonna listen to you or take you seriously, but I do take this seriously. That takes a couple tries to get used to. It’s not something that comes natural to us 'cause we’re supposed to be, during the day, active listeners, and this is a form of passive, bare…passive but could be interactive, barely listening, where you say, uh-huh, uh-huh, oh boy, keep going with that stuff.

 

I don't know what you’re talking about, but lay it on me, as Baloo once sang. Or Louie, King Louie, man. King Louie once sang it to Baloo, or maybe…I don't know. So, that takes some getting used to. It’s a podcast…you could listen to it, but you don’t need to. There’s people that listen during the day and there’s people who are listening who can't sleep at all, because this is a sleep podcast where there’s no pressure to fall asleep. I’m gonna be here…this episode’s gonna be over an hour. There’s over 600 archived episodes ready to go — or, they’re not archived; they’re right there in your podcast app — because there’s people who listen to eight episodes a night. There’s people who listen to one episode a week over and over again. So, alls I mean is that this is a sleep podcast that doesn't put you to sleep.

 

I really do keep you company. It’s kinda like a bedtime story…doesn't really put kids to sleep. I think adult bedtime stories and kid bedtime stories are different. But I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep, not to put you to sleep, to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your neigh-bore, your bore-bestie, your…I thought of a new one yesterday and I already forgot it, but your bores, your best bore-friend f’eva, and to be your friend in the deep, dark night whether you’re awake or asleep, whether you’re listening or not, and that’s just different but is, in the end, what works. I think I was talking about the difference between kids’ pod…kids’ bedtime stories and adult ones.

 

I don't know, I think adults need a slower…a little bit slower, more…a little bit more time, believe it or not, than kids, 'cause kids want to ask a lot…I don't know. I have a whole theory about it. I’ve consulted on other kids’ sleep podcasts, but…so, yeah, just…I don't know, just see how it goes. You kinda just barely listen to the show, and we kinda barely become friends. I barely entertain you, but I’m here. I’m on-call to be of service to you, really. Why am I here to be of service to you? Because I’ve been making this show over eleven years, 'cause I’ve seen the impact it has on other people, including people in my family, and because I know how it feels in the deep, dark night, and it’s fun. It’s a ton of work making this show.

 

Believe it or not, that’s one of the hardest things ever to get across, and I’m not the only one that works really hard on this podcast, but it’s really interesting work. It’s really challenging work trying to figure out the puzzle of making a sleep podcast, but it’s also rewarding because I get to be of service to you when you really need it, and that’s special to me. The other thing that really throws people off is the structure of the show, which I’ll try to go through quickly. The show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in and you say, okay, I might check that podcast out. Most versions of this podcast have the greeting. Then there’s support because most people prefer a free podcast or a ad-supported podcast, right?

 

But it does take a lot of work to make it, so the support does that, but it’s really…listener support is the primary way we do it. So, if you prefer an ad-free version, you could get that by supporting the show or using our…doing our referral program. Then after the support is a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime. If you discover you prefer a show without intros, Bedtime Stories From Sleep With Me is available in every podcast app. That just has the greeting and the bedtime stories. But the long, meandering intro, it’s about fifteen to twenty minutes long. It’s a show within a show separate from the support and separate from the beginning of the show. It follows a similar structure every time, but it’s different every time.

 

Over 1,200 episodes I think we’ve made, or 1,100 or…I don't even…I never know. But it follows a similar structure but it’s different every time so that whatever keeps you awake…I don't know, so you have something new to look forward to. I guess in the end, that’s a normal thing. It’s like, yeah, I don't want a repeat. I want…I don't want…I mean, sometimes I’ll re-air popular stuff, but I want a new intro every time, and whatever part keeps you awake is normally like that, too. So, I don't know, those…I just found that having some variety works for most people, but…some familiarity. The other thing the intro does is give you a buffer from between awake and being…during the day to falling asleep.

 

It eases you into bedtime while you’re getting ready for bed or you’re in bed getting comfortable or you’re winding down, and most…some people fall asleep during the intro, but most people are getting ready for bed or doing a chill activity or just fluffing their pillows and getting situated, because having a bedtime routine is what’s worked for me most of the time and what studies show works. So, that’s the intro, then there will be support again so the show is free or paying for it’s optional, then there’s a long…no, the long, meandering intro…then after that will be a bedtime story. Tonight will be a crossover series, so you could listen to the original episode during the day, Alba Salix…this is from Season 2, and…but this will be a sleepified version, and this has been…these episodes have been really popular.

 

We’re really getting good feedback. But again, we put out different episodes. The next episode that comes after this will be a different style and a different subject, and then the next one that will come out after that will be a different style and a different subject. Then we kinda rotate through stuff, 'cause some things work better for other people, and again, that’s why we make so many episodes, is so the podcast can work for you and help you out. So, that’s the structure of the show. That’s why I make the show. I’m really glad you’re here. I work really hard. So do a team of people. We really yearn and strive. So, thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple of ways we’re able to be here for you twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, Scoots here. Another episode of Alba Salix, Season 2, Episode 5, Harvest Moon. The House of Healing crew visits the Harvest Moon Fair to unwind, but something, something is afoot. Eli says, howdy, hello, konnichiwa. It’s Eli here with Episode 4 of Alba Salix, Season 2. Oh, this is…Shaun and Eli were in Seattle for Podcon 2. This was…I was there, too, back…what year was that? No, 2018. It was a weekend of live shows, panels, performances, and people. There was a big audio drama and RPG presence there, and, yeah, I don't know if Podcon will be in the future, but if it is, check it out. Now it’s time for Alba Salix, Royal Physician, Volume 2, Episode 4. Enjoy.

 

We start in the palace chambers. It’s nighttime and Gunther is shuffling around. Oh, Parabel, you’re still up, right? Mm, um…what are you read…are you reading something, dear? Oh, just a few books on caring…prenatal caring. Oh, really? Superfoods for a Baby-in-Waiting, Raising a Magical Child…are we having a magical child? Oh, they’re all magical, aren’t they? I just wanted to give the baby a good head start in life. Well, I don't think we can afford to bring in musicians to play for you around the clock again, dear. Oh, no, no, it’s nothing like that this time, Gunther, not after little Wilhemina decided to smash her violin or frowny-face her violin teacher. Huh, interesting; 101 Spells for Mothers-To-Be. Are you sure it’s a good idea to be doing magic while you’re expecting?

 

Oh, no, no, no, honey, these are minor charms, completely harmless. Ah, I see, completely useless. What was…? Well, goodnight, dear. Don’t stay up tonight…or too late tonight, I mean. You know what I mean. At night, don’t stay up too late. Goodnight. I got it. I won't. Night, darling. Kissy-kiss. Ooh, kissy-poo-poo, or kissy…you know what I mean. I didn’t mean…I mean, I didn’t mean that. You know what I mean, dear? I meant kissy-kiss-kiss. Yeah, kissy-kiss-kiss. I’m gonna shuffle outta there. Oh, these books are useless. I guess I have to go to the library. Is that the theme of the show I hear? It is the theme of the show. You hear it in your imagination, Parabel, and so do all the listeners, because by appointment to the King and Queen, Alba Salix, Royal Physician, Volume 2, Episode the Fourth, Harvest Moon.

 

We return to the House of Healing at the daytime. In the office, Mr. Pearcey. Yes, yes, it is I, Minister Pearcey, Magnus, and I have to tell you to not play with anything; compasses, letter-openers, or cutlery at the reception desk. Oh, thank you, Minister Pearcey. Magnus…I, as Magnus…I, Magnus, was not playing. I was displaying the cutlery we have for patients. They think…they find it interesting. This is Alba; Magnus, they don’t find it interesting. They’re just being polite. No one needs to see what we eat our food with. Yeah, and this is Minister Pearcey; I don't have to mention that cutlery that you use, even if you’ve…especially if you’re the one doing the dishes, Magnus, I don't think that’s a good idea to have here. What are you saying, that I can't…that I’m not good at washing dishes or cutlery?

 

I mean, did you see last…do you remember last week how well I did with things? The whole building got washed last week. This is Minister Pearcey, though; this is official cutlery for the use of the employees of the House of Healing. So, what if you’re not paying attention and someone just takes the cutlery? I mean, I’ve got many…I got three ways of catching someone taking cutlery without permission, and two of them involve dance. Magnus, no cutlery or eating at reception. How about that? Oh boy, I can hear Holly coming. Yes, it’s me, Holly; happy Harvest Moon, everyone. Wait a second, this is Minister Pearcey; what are these? Oh, these are flower garlands. I have one for you and for you and for you. They’re to wear to the Harvest Moon Fair tonight. You’re all going, right?

 

That was a long silence, particularly for a sleep podcast. Come on, there’s gonna be drinking and dancing and music and pretty lanterns. This is Magnus; we were having a cutlery-based discussion before you interrupted us, Holly. I’d like my cut…I would like to have my cutlery in my possession at all times. This is Alba and Minister Pearcey; we’re gonna say this at the same time. No. No. Minister Pearcey, you were a little bit after me. Ready? One, two, three. No. No. Okay, never mind. Magnus, it’s a no. Oh, and by the way, there’s costumes, cotton candy, jugglers, plays. Well, as a minister, I’m a bit busy. I could check my calendar. Yeah, as…this is Alba here; I got a round of resumes to look through. We’re setting that thing up in Paradox. Oh, I feel bad for you two. You really should get at least one night off.

 

Balancing life and work is important. Right, Miss Pearcey? Yeah, a night off is fine, of course. Whether you spend it at the fair or not, though, that’s up to each individual employee. But Alba’s going, right, Alba? I mean, you’re toTally going after you get those resumes done? Thank you for the invite, Holly, but I thought you’d have some…don’t you have your own fairy ritual to enact for the full moon? No, that’s not happening this year. I’ve been uninvited, which means I get to spend more time with all of you. What do you say? Okay, Holly, that’s fine. I’ll go. Oh, this is Magnus; thank you for the invitation. I’ll…I may go. I guess I’ll go. Miss Pearcey, come on, it’s the perfect chance for us to bond as a team. Oh yeah, bonding as a team…yay! This is gonna be the best Harvest Moon ever.

 

As I sing the…I don't really sing, but I’m sing-saying the Harvest Moon song. We return to the palace in the library, where pages are turning. Yes, my name is Julia, and this is a jackpot. Julia, when you have a moment, it’s me, Amanda. Yes, Amanda, it’s me, Julia. Yeah, I was wondering, Julia, if you could take these priceless, lovely tomes and put them somewhere other than the checkout desk? Thank you, Amanda. I’ll do that in a minute. By the way, I found a chapter in Savrik’s Historias about the Balgomorians. The Balgomorian Yeti, by the way…you gotta check this out. I’m opening the page to the book for you to view, Amanda. Oh, thank you, Julia. By the way, they’re green? Yeah, they’re green and only three feet high. Whoa. Now, this Balgomorian Yeti society is matriarchal. 

 

Oh, I like it. Green ladies in charge. I’m a fan. Oh, I didn’t…Amanda, I didn’t even get to the best part. The Yetani, as they call themselves, are famous for their gin. It’s made from a rare juniper bush which only grows in the ice caves of the Frozen Sea. Delish. I already want some. Oh, it gets better. They mix it with ice wine, birch syrup, and vodka to make something called a Green Flame. Ooh, consider myself ready for the…consider myself ready to…extinguish the Green Flame? What would I say? Wait a second, Green Flame, like they…doesn't that burn the alcohol off and defeat the whole purpose? Well, I get…yeah, I get…I mean, it looks cool. Well, we should…do you think the palace kitchens have Yetani gin? Unfortunately not anymore. I may have already looked in the kitchens on my way to work today.

 

But clinkety-clinkety-clink, I got a couple of glasses down here, and…not anymore. I meant it in an ironic way because I took the last bottle. Okay, can I have mine with a double flame? Is that possible? Oh, I’ll get right to work. I’m gonna get…let me get all my implements. Oh boy, is that Parabel? It is Parabel, your Queen. You there, librarians…oh, Your Majesty, it’s me, Amanda; hi. And I’m Julia. We’re the Royal Librarians. Sorry, just surprised that Your Queenship is here. We’re here to be at your service. Also shaking up some cocktails, My Queen. Are you drinking on the job? Um, not…all…not yet. Almost. Oh, it’s research, My Queen. We’re compiling the first comprehensive ethnographic study of the drinking cultures of Faloria and the neighboring…ugh, I don't know why I…even as Queen, I asked.

 

I sent down a page yesterday to retrieve a book. Okay, let me look through…oh, yes, yes, Your Majesty. This is me, Amanda; you were after The Six Books De Rerum Spirits of Sundvik, Tome 2? Yeah, that’s the one. Okay, I think…I believe that…I don't think; I believe…no, I know…it’s in our Rare Documents collection. Let me check through this…let me check the card here. Oh, this is Amanda; while you wait, Your Majesty, would you like a drink of water or coffee? I’m fine. Cool, cool, cool. Okay, this is Julia, Royal Librarian; three copies. There’s one in our sister branch in Fair Upon Midling. The second one…oh boy, do you read Vayaxan? Excuse…Vaya what? Oh, Vayaxan. It’s the original edition. It’s written from a language they use deep within the Earth. No, that won't work. What about the third copy?

 

Third copy…more recent translation…it’s out on loan. Oh, boy. Wait a second, this is Amanda; who loaned out a book from Rare Documents? It says it was checked out by Mr. Krankel. It’s your Queen; that was Doctor Krankel. Oh yeah, that’s the one, Doctor Krankel, yeah. Doctor Krankel’s been banished from our kingdom. Oh boy, banished, eh? He’s gonna be owing a lot of late fees. Excuse me, this is your Queen clearing her throat; it’s not…it doesn't make any noise because I’m so royally awesome, but I require a copy of that book. We have one copy, but it’s just in…no, no, a copy I can read. Okay, well, I could put in a request. I could put it on hold for you. I mean…inter-library loan, maybe? It’s gonna be…soonest would be a week and a half. Julia, what about any secondary resources?

 

Oh, you mean secondary sources? Yeah, this is Parabel; what do you mean, secondary sources? Well, there’s other books. We got some reference…there’s Benneghi’s Compendium. Amanda, can you…? Yeah, I’m looking for it. I didn’t realize you were so interested in ancient magic, Your Majesty. Well, I’m just curious. Oh, here’s…this is Amanda; I think I found a reference. Is it by Fractazius? Oh yes, right. Yeah, Fractazius the Dark. Classic. Okay, I’ll be…I’m gonna go in the stacks. Okay, this is Amanda; let’s see, Fractazius…Fractazius or -tasius, do you think, My Queen? I’ll just…so, apparently Fractazius wrote a play, The Books De Rerum Spirits. The Books De Rerum Spirits. It’s a play. A play? What use is a play to me? Okay, well…no, the play was based on The Books De Rerum Spirits.

 

Okay, the play is called The Ambassador of D double-O M. It’s said to actually contain key passages from the books. Okay…oh, it looks like it was even banned once in King Lothar’s time. Oh, here comes Julia. Yep, here it is. I’m guessing it was after everything that happened at the Grandville Opry. Oh, when we lost the Grandville Opry, you mean? Yeah, supposedly that…we lost…it was one of those…there’s a lot of theories out there about it, what really happened. Really? You’re telling me…tell me more, Julia. Well, Amanda, I’ll tell you. On opening night, the lead actress transformed and it was very…she said, I’m here from deep within the Earth. I’m here to grow in size and stature, and it won't be…none of you will enjoy it. Whoa, that’s…did she really say none of you will enjoy it?

 

Wait, did she…did you say she also said, none of you will enjoy…? Did you say something about unparalled power? Well, I don't know, but she…yeah, she grew bigger than the opry house. Real…? Oh, wow. Okay, this is your Queen; I’ll take the play. That’s fine. I mean, this…in my opinion, in Amanda’s opinion, this is why nobody likes audience participation. I know, right? It’s like…there’s no publishing date. I don't know, this might be the first printing. This is your Queen; please just give me the book. Okay, sure. Is there anything else, Your Majesty? Unbelievable. The Queen is cranky. Talk about Krankel, right? I wonder what she wanted the book for, anyway. She storms off. Oh, royalty. Who knows why they do anything. Ready for our cocktails? Oh, yeah.

 

Alright, let’s light these…oh boy, even the flames are green. ToTally. Cheers. Next we find ourselves in Minister Pearcey’s bedroom, where Loria and Minister Pearcey are conversing. Oh, someone’s all gwumpy pants. I’m a minister. I don't get gwumpy pants or grumpy pants, either. No, no, no, gwumpy pants. You gotta say it like that, honey. It’s gwumpy pants. That’s the worst. Okay, I’d just rather stay in. Why don’t we…? We could just have a nice dinner, a relaxing bath…we could do that any date night. It’s our anniversary. Anniversary? Yeah, of the night we first met? But we met at a office party the night of the Harvest Moon Fair. Exactly. The Harvest Moon’s on a different date every year. It’s not the date. It’s the occasion, silly. Let’s go dance and watch the fireworks, eat fried pumpkin on a stick…come on, gwumpy pants.

 

I am not…how do you say? Gwumpy pants? Gwampy pants? Can you say that again with a little bit more of a pout? I just…what if those wizards from OSG see us together? Tally…who cares what they think? Well, the thing is we’re fighting to get them to abide by proper workplace guidelines…workplace guidelines, right, and the two of us…and? Your superior…yeah, debatable. Rude, but you know what I mean. I don't want to set a bad example. You do realize this is the one night of the year you don’t have to worry about being recognized. Wait, what do you mean? I’ll just open my purse, and this is a little thing called a masquerade. That’s true, but where are we gonna go get…? I have two, honey. Ah. Well, why do you have all these masquerade masks? I think you mean ‘thank you, Loria, you’re so beautiful.

 

You’re a genius. The masks are quite pretty.’ Yeah, they are. I picked this one for you. But I’ve never worn one of these before. Well, it looks super adorable. A thousand times yes. Alright, what about you? Well, I think this lacey blue one here…but there’s this…I also have this one. It’s silvery with little ears. What do you think? Wow, that one. The blue one? You should definitely wear that one. Done. What? Well, I don't know if we should even go out tonight now, seeing you in that mask. Oh, come on. Let’s get dressed and let’s go. Then we have the fairgrounds. We’re there at a fairground stall. It’s early evening. Crowd is in high spirits. Drummers perform in the distance. Withrow here; get your duvian nectar, fresh-squeezed duvian nectar. Oh boy, could I have a nectar, please?

 

You betcha. That’ll be sixpence. Whoa, whoa, that’s a lot, sixpence. Fresh duvian fruit’s hard to come by in these parts. It’s the most healthful drink you’ll drink all night, my friend. Well, you’re not wrong about that. Here you go, sixpence. Have a great fair. Good evening, friend. Can I get you a nice cup of duvian nectar? I gotta disguise my voice so he doesn't know it’s me, Magnus. Oh, what’s in this? Oh, let me pour you a cup. It’s 100% fresh-squeezed duvian fruit direct from the Pointy Lands. Excellent source of duvetic ingredients, and that’s been shown to aid in pancreatic function. The happiest pancreas means a happy stomach. That’ll be sixpence, my friend. You might think I’m just a regular guest with a voice like this at the fair, but I am Magnus, and you are busted. Wait a second, busted? What? Why?

 

House of Hygiene…House of Healing Hygiene Enforcement Squad. Sorry, my first time saying that out loud. Withrow Lee, you’re selling drinks without a license. No, no, no, I got a license right here. What, are you that kid that works for Alba? Magno? Matthew? Matthew, right? It’s Magnus. I’m not a kid. I’m eighteen, by the way, and I’m certified by the Ministry of Magical Affairs and Health, by the way. Officially we’ve been granted approval by the bureaucracy. Okay, what are you certified to do…Maggie? Certified to take you downtown, buddy. You just keep it up. Oh, wait a second, your license does look legit, but you’re claiming this is a health drink? No, no, no, not the drink. It’s the duviatic ingredients. You could ask Alba about it. There’s evidence it may boost the immune system. I don't even tell my customers that.

 

I’m the only one studying it so far. Well, Withrow, aren’t you a paragon of scientific vigor, or rigor. Which one is it, vigor…? You have vigor and…well, you definitely have vigor, but do you have rigor? Darn tootin’. I got both. Plus, Alba will double-check all my work, for sure. Okay, what about these cups? Do you reuse them? Oh yeah, toTally. Steralize them after every use. Persimmons…persimmius spell. Okay…wait a second, how do we know about this fruit, though? Where does the fruit come from? Have you washed this fruit? Washed the fruit? Yeah, sure. I mean, because there’s other invisible things that could be on the fruit from the Pointy Lands. Invisible pointy things, maybe, from the Pointy Lands. Okay, I get…great.

 

Invisible pointy things from the Point…thank you, Magnie, but can I get on with selling my wares now? You could go ahead, but I’ll be keeping an eye on you, buddy. Alright, no problem. Thanks, Magnet. Duvian nectar here, sixpence a glass. Then we go to the stage where an actor performs. Yes, and two…hence, two souls once so in love did dance-off one another for the sake of money, greed, and power. You shall see next Friday upon this stage at half past 8:00. Thank you for the cheers. Thank you, thank you. Oh, it’s me, Holly; that’s…I’m gonna have to go see…oh, Alba. Oh, hey. I’m down here, Holly. Excuse me, can you watch those wings? Oh, sorry about that. I’m a fair…these are real wings. Did I miss the previews for the…was that a preview for a play that’s coming soon?

 

Yeah. I thought you said you might come in next Friday. Why do they always…? They gave away the whole story, though. Excuse me, excuse me, the play is about…and now, my friends, be much attented. Our main event, at last, is here, The Frowny-Faced History of Baron Bulgu, brought to you by the Guild of Flatware. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Two actors take the stage, a gruff cook and a young Master Martin. It’s me, the cook; you know, I was trained with the Swedish Chef, but I’m just a cook. Good day, Master Martin. Hello there, cook. Do you have the evening repast prepared? ‘Tis underway, ‘tis underway. Well, you must hurry up. The repast is past time. Oh, my flatware is so terrible. It’s such a…it slows me down. Well, these…this is…how could you be a cook with this kind of flatware?

 

This couldn't even cut butter. Yes, such a dull tool. Scarce split the wind from an old nun’s backside. Speaking of dull tools, how does Lord…the Count…? Oh, the audience laughs and the play continues, but Holly and Alba talk aside. Oh boy, this looks like this play’s going somewhere. Oh, how are you able to always guess the plots, Alba? This is just an ad for the Flatware Guild. They always sponsor these…these are popular plays. Remember cereal? It wasn’t about the cereal. It was about…it was sponsored by the Spoons Flatware Guild. Okay. Well…oh, I never noticed that. Thanks, Alba. Well, at least it’s better than the romance ones. Those are all ads for bedding and straw. Oh. Well, I don't know about this play, though. I, Martin, the Count, is in a rare mood. This is the cook; rare?

 

Does he want his dinner rare? Rarely correct twice a day. Oh. Yeah, rare mood, indeed. He rants on his hunger and rails on his thirst. Oh man, it’s me, Jerome; I catch…oh, Alba, hey, it’s me, Jerome. How are you? How’d you know it was me, Jerome? Hello, Jerome. It’s me, Holly. Oh, hey, Holly. Mind if I sit with you both? We’re trying to enjoy the show, Jerome. Yes, it is I, the cook. The Count did dine but an hour ago. Let him rant and rail. Perhaps he shall shout himself hoarse. I, Martin, have stopped listening to him, dear cook. Well, that’ll bring you peace either way. I sooner shall listen to no one, but the Count must have food. Okay, well, then go to the Flatware Guild and try to get some decent flatware or have them tune this flatware up. I surely shall.

 

Mind you, Master Martin, forget not your purse, because you gotta pay the…everyone pays for flatware. That’s what they say. For quality flatware, you pay top…guild-approved flatware; worth every penny. I’m sorry, Alba, it’s me, Jerome; can you fill me in on what’s been…Holly, can you tell me what’s been going on? Alba says there’s gonna be…something’s gonna happen pretty quick. Oh, how does she always know that stuff? Okay, can you two be quiet? I just have a sense of this. Sorry, but this reminds me, I’ve been…now, I’ve been feeling a bit dramatic myself. The surface of my body…I tried that salve you ladies gave me the other week. It’s been getting worse, though. Okay, how about we just be quiet and watch the first act? Well…okay, okay. Thanks, Alba. This is Jerome; I can wait.

 

Alba, it’s me, Holly. What is it, Holly? Well, it’s gonna get dark soon. Then Jerome changes into a puppy dog, and he’s already disrupting the play. So, maybe we move him somewhere else. Okay, we just sat down to watch the play. Yeah, but the moon’s gonna rise and it’s a full moon, a Harvest Moon, and Jerome is a person that changes from a person to a puppy dog. I realize that, Holly. But, you know, maybe we…should we just tell him? Okay, no, no, because then if he knows that he turns into a puppy dog, he’s gonna keep coming by, he’s gonna want to talk about it with me, he’s gonna want to consult with me, and he’s gonna want a cure for it, and then he’s gonna discuss the history of…he’s perfectly fine even when he’s affected. You mean he’s a puppawolf.

 

Yeah, but…shh, Holly, we don’t say that word out…we can leave at the intermission, please. But…at the intermission, Holly. Please hush. Excuse me, back to the play. I noticed some talking out there. I’m the Baron. I hear people talking about me or talking in my presence when I’m trying to speak. I thought I heard a voice from my hearth. Yes, it is I, Your Baronship, your hearth calling to you from the beyond. What? My hearth is speaking? How dost that be? Wait a second, this is me, Jerome; sorry to interrupt. That’s an…didn’t that actor play Count Bozannio or something last spring? Oh yeah, great point, Jerome. I missed that show. I heard…oh, I love the costuming. This is Alba; can the two of you please be quiet for a minute? But we move to a new part of the fairgrounds. It’s dusk and people are reveling.

 

Music is playing, people are dancing, and Loria and Pearcey are walking side-by-side. What about Gryphon and the Bucket? Gryphon and the Bucket? That wasn’t our first date. You tricked me. It still counts. No, no, no, you said it was a departmental planning session. And it worked. I seem to remember it worked about five times after that, too. Maybe. But, no, our official, mutually-agreed-upon date was May 12. Could you remind me of the details? It was 7:00 p.m., closer to 7:15. Okay, tell me more. We had dinner, then we went dancing, then we had ice cream. Oh yeah, that ice cream. So, that’s your idea of a first date? Yeah. You’re pretty forward, aren't you? You’re the minx. Oh, boy. Oh, did…is that Holly? Yeah, it’s me, Holly. Hi, Loria. Is that you? Yes. Oh, great, Holly, a coworker.

 

Hey, it’s me, Holly from the House of Healing. Oh, hi, Holly. Loria…yeah, how are you? I just got…that’s a pretty mask. I didn’t recognize you. Who are you here with? Oh, my name is Tally. I’m a friend of Loria’s. Nice to meet you. Oh, hi, Tally. I’m Holly. You both look super cute. Thank you. So, this is Loria; Holly, are you having a good fair? Oh, it’s so neat. There’s candy, ribbons…almost forgot, though; have you seen a puppy running around? What kind of puppy? I don't know, it’s a different-looking puppy. He’s got a short muzzle, wide at the shoulders. His name’s Toby. I haven't seen anything bigger than a beagle. Is it a beagle? This is Tally; I haven't seen any dogs. Sorry, Holly, we haven't seen anything, but we’ll keep an eye out for you.

 

Okay, nice seeing you again. I’m gonna fly off. Toby, Toby, where are you? It’s me, Holly, looking for you. Oh, goodness, that was a close one, Loria. Holly almost saw us. Do you think she knows me? Oh, give me a break. No, I’m serious. You’re gonna let Holly ruin our night together? Are you really gonna overthink this? I knew this…coming to this fair was a bad idea. Look, if it’s gonna be like this every time we go out together, I think we better…you know what? Just…what are you getting at, Loria? I mean, workwise, you basically replaced me with that talking rock. Leon the Rock isn't a replacement. A rock can't file or do errands. Oh, well, I’m glad I’m such a valuable assistant. That’s not what I mean, Loria. You know what? This secret office romance has been exciting and everything, but I think we better call it off.

 

Loria…I mean, the office part. Not the romance. Oh, thank the gods. I mean, I could transfer to the Planning Office. I’d be two floors up. I could keep an eye on His Majesty’s ideas, but not you, Tally. I’m not breaking up with you. Just your job? Just my job. I mean, why do you think I took it in the first place? Wait, what, to be near me? What can I say? I’m very goal-driven in my career. Come over here and let me give you a kissy-poo. Ooh, let me give you a kissy-poo back. Wait a second, so, if we’re not working together, what are we gonna do for excitement? Hm, I don't know. I think…we’ll have to think of something. Okay, well, let’s start dancing together and see if it sparks any ideas. Then we return to the fairgrounds. We’re a bit off the beaten path. It’s quiet, but the crowd is still lively in the distance.

 

But beyond that we can hear crickets as Withrow counts out some coins for a customer. Alrighty, that’s seven, eight…nine is one shilling plus five more is your change. Thank you. Oh, thank you, and you have yourself a great evening, my friend. This is Magnus; you keep giving them the correct change. Yeah, I keep telling you, Magnie, that this is no scam. Yeah, it’s duvian nectar fresh from the Pointy Lands. Well, the way Alba tells it, you’re always up to something. Excuse me…get your fresh-squeezed duvian nectar. Wait, did you just hear that barking? Wait a second, so…this is Magnus; what’s your favorite? My favorite what, Magnus? Your favorite hustle, your favorite scheme. I, Withrow, am just selling duvian nectar, man. Can you stop it? I’m not hustling anybody.

 

Come on, man, you could tell me. I’m Magnus. I’m an outlaw. I mean, I used to be an outlaw, even straight up tricking people without magic. Excuse me, miss, would you like…care for a refreshing cup of…? She kept going. Listen, kid, you’re getting in the way of me selling the duvian nectar here. You’re messing up my business. Okay, tell me about one con, and I’ll leave you alone. I do not want to talk about this, Magnie. What’s that? Your duvian nectar’s not being kept chilled at the proper temperature? Kid, listen, for Kroth’s sake…oh boy, I don't know if this is the right temperature for duvian nectar. This duvian nectar may not be able to be served anymore. Okay, okay.

 

Listen, Magnus, when Alba and I were at Hazelbrook, we used to go to this cafe together near campus called The Crotchety Crow, and every…oh boy, there’s Alba. Magnus, there you are. No, no, no, I’m not here, Alba. What? I was just helping Withrow. Is that so wrong? Hey, Alba. Hello, Withrow. It’s good to see you, Alba. Yeah. Magnus, I need your help. Toby’s running around the fair. Whoa, really? As in Jerome Toby? What other Toby, Magnus? Come on, we have to find him. Holly’s trying to spot him from the air. This is Withrow; who’s Toby? He’s a stray dog. Oh, you mean a wolfy-poo…a wolfy puppy dog? What would give you that idea, Withrow? Well, a full moon, I heard the barking, and…running around the fair where there’s no puppies allowed. Oh yeah, look, there’s a full moon tonight.

 

What are the odds? What do you two think they’re having a festival for? Oh, there goes Holly. Alba, I see him. He’s coming this way. I think he’s following you. Okay, let’s hope so. Barkety-barkety-bark, I’m a cute little puppy, puppy, puppy-poo. Toby, come here, come here, Toby. Okay, okay, that’s enough, Toby. Please no kissing. I got Toby in my arms. I’m holding him. Please, Toby, no kissing. Yay, Alba got Toby! Does anybody have a puppy collar? He should be fine. He’ll just follow Alba anywhere she goes, as long as he doesn't get distracted. Okay, Toby…no, no, no, off my leg, please. Cut it out. Alba, it’s me, Withrow. You want a hand with the puppy? I’m fine. Well, here, let me help you get up. The puppy knocked you down.

 

Oh boy, the puppy doesn't seem to like me, though. Yeah, Withrow…yeah, the puppy doesn't like you. It’s a bit territorial. But he’s wagging his tail. Hey, puppy-poo, why don’t you come…move over and let…? Oh, no, no, no, he does not like me. Did he just pee on my stall? Oh, Toby, did you pee on Withrow’s stall? Withrow, I told you not to get near the puppy. Yeah, but who’s gonna clean this up? I’m trying to sell duvian nectar here. That is some strong…what do you feed this puppy, asparagus or something? Hey, this is Magnus; I’ll help you out, Withrow. Don't worry. I got you covered. You go get some buckets of some stuff and I’ll…duvian nectar here, three pennies a glass. We’re back at the music stage at the fairgrounds where a band finishes up.

 

Pearcey and Loria finish dancing and the crowd laughing…even a minister needs a drink after that. Are you glad we came to the fair? Yes, yes. Wait a second, there’s a puppy running through, barking. Hey, this is Withrow; the puppy keeps trying…this puppy keeps peeing only on my stall. Oh, Loria, look out. Oh boy, I’m about to collide with a puppy and a man chasing a puppy. Is everybody okay? Oh, it looks like they found the puppy they were looking for. Oh, it’s me, Holly. Hey, is it…? Toby, come here. Look out, everybody, that puppy seems to be very full of liquid and also was once a person. Thanks, Withrow. That was really helpful. This puppy…this is Loria; was this puppy a person at one point? Oh, my goodness, as Minister, I’m gonna have to write this up. Oh, great.

 

Everybody…this is Holly; everybody, please don’t talk about the puppy in the puppy’s presence. It doesn't like that. Oh, there’s kids coming. They like the puppy. Hey, this is a person at the fair; I thought puppies weren't…if I would have known I could bring my puppy, I would have brought my puppy. This is Holly; we’re dealing with it. Thank you. Wait a second, that’s not…that’s just not any puppy. That puppy looks a little bit like that guy, Jerome. Alba, where are you? Jerome does not like this. I think we’re gonna have to escort this dog out of the fair. I’m just a fairgrower…goer. I don't grow fairs; I go to them. But this puppy looks so much like Jerome, we’re gonna have to bring it home. This is Loria; please let Holly deal with this. Yeah, let me deal with this. No, no, no, my name’s Biff and I’m gonna get this puppy.

 

I’m gonna bring it out of this fair. It’s not supposed to be here. This is Minister Pearcey; please, everyone, no more moving. No, no, this is Biff; I got this handled. I connect to puppies on a granular level, Minister. Are you not listening to a Minister of the Crown, sir? Wait, what? Yeah, it’s me, Minister Pearcey, Minister of Magical Affairs and Health. Whoa, boy. Oh, hey, Miss Pearcey, I didn’t even know that was you. I thought you were…there was somebody named Tally here. Oh, yeah, no, it’s me, Holly. Well, la-dee-da. Okay, sir, I don't need…I don't know where you got a dog leash anyway, but please put it away. Well, if you’re the Minister of Magical Ministry, how come you’re letting puppies have free reign when they’re not allowed?

 

This situation’s under control. Correct, Holly? It’s under control? Totally it’s under control. Alba’s on her way. She better be. Don't worry, sir, one of our…our puppy specialist is on their way. Yeah, but they…somebody said this puppy peed at the fair. I mean, we’re drinking and eating and stuff. The puppy…it’s just a puppy. This is Holly; what kind of people…? We can't blame a puppy for going pee-pee. They’re all puppy pee-pee, you know? I mean, who cares? Listen, I don't listen to fairies. It’s my policy. Oh, wow. Well, excuse you. And I’m also gonna put this leash on this puppy. Sir, this is Minister Pearcey; I’m not gonna ask you again to put that leash away and step away. Yeah, but this puppy’s ruining the fair for me and for everybody else. It’s a fair-ruiner. It’s not a fair-ruiner. It’s a puppy. Says you. You’re a fairy, though.

 

You better keep it up. I’m also Queen of the Wind, mister, and I’m gonna have to blow you away. I’m creating a wind storm to blow you away in a whirlwind. Anybody else want to mess with me? No. I mean, I’m normally a troublemaker, but I’m not…not over a puppy. Oh, it’s me, Alba. Let me through. Toby, Toby! Ah, Miss Salix, where have you been? Thank heavens. The puppy’s happy to see you. Come here, come on, Jerome. Good boy. Is everything okay? Holly? Hey, Alba. There was a guy with a leash and he was being very bossy, but I kinda stopped him, and now I’m very tired. Holly? Oh, Holly just fell asleep. Jerome is barking. Okay, as you were. Thank you, everyone. Please return to the fair. Yes, this is Loria; the Minister commands you to have some fun. This is Minister Pearcey; operating officially, Miss Salix?

 

Did you know this person could go from human, enter the fair, and then change into the puppy which isn't allowed at the fair? Are you familiar with this condition? What’s that? Toby…I gotta take the puppy for a walk. Miss Salix…sorry, but it’s so loud. I gotta get this puppy outta here. I realize we’re on official business, boss, but can we talk about it? Come on, Holly. Okay, I also gotta help Holly. She’s kinda staggering, you know? Okay, we’re gonna head off. Thanks, boss. We’ll see you later. Well, how is…? As Loria, that was exciting. Yeah, exciting. This is what I deal with on a daily basis. I deserve a raise. Hm, well, how about we…I raise the stakes for dinner, the two of us? Sounds good, hun. Then we go to a hilltop. It’s after midnight. There’s crickets.

 

A party can be heard in the distance, and Withrow speaks in a hushed whisper with a woman. There you are. Sorry I’m late. There was a thing that came up. Well, the moon is almost at its zenith. Did you bring the device? Like I said, there was a incident and someone took it. I’m sorry, what? Yeah, I got chased around. There was this thing, there was this puppy…why weren't you keeping it out of sight? Well, I gotta make a living somehow. Well, did you see who took it? No, I must have dropped it when I was chasing the puppy. You dropped it? I should have known better than to hire you. I mean, what did you want…? You wanted to bring somebody from deep within the Earth. What did you want to do that for, anyway?

 

Well, can you do it without the device? I mean, it’s not a good idea. I wouldn't want to. Oh, hello, the two of you. This is Magnus; I’ve been watching you two. It’s…oh boy, oh boy, Magnus with the…well, Withrow, how’s it going? What are you doing here, Magnie? Oh, I was just getting some fresh air. Anyway, Withrow, when you were running around, I noticed you dropped a little something on the ground. Do you have it? Oh, I’m Magnus; you’re Withrow. Who’s our third friend here? It’s none of your business. Oh, fair enough. I like that cloak. Anyway, so, here’s this little doo-dad I found. Oh, thanks, kid. Hand it over. No, no, no, not so fast. Be careful with that.

 

Now, my best guess is this is some kind of deflector or detector dispelling magical barriers, maybe, as if you were summoning something from another plane or deep within the Earth. Son, hand it over to me. I’ve been reading up, man. I know things. If you two are quite finished, I’ll take that device. I recognize your voice almost. Do I know you from somewhere? No. Wait a second, I totally do. I know you from somewhere. Stay away, son. Listen, man, don’t worry about her. Just…can you give me the…? Excuse me, I’m gonna take off her clerk…her cloak, as if she was a clerk. I, Magnus, will reveal who this person is. Magnus, that’s not a good…whoa, whoa, whoa, it’s you. You’re the…yes, it is me. You’re the Queen. You’re the actual Mother-Goosing Queen. What is going on? You will address me properly.

 

Right, right, Your Majesty. Sorry. So, what are you two up to? Right now, we’re dealing with you, someone who interupted something they should have never interrupted. Withrow, dance him out of here. Yeah, I’d like to see you try, Withrow, dance me off. Look, kid, I don't want to be involved. I like you and I really don’t want to have to dance you or use magic, which is what she really means. Yeah, really, you’re gonna use magic on me, Withrow. Yeah. Obliviscere. Wait a second, that’s…that feels like magic. I feel it. What is that? Wait a second, it’s making me super, super sleepy. I’m going to sleep, a deep sleep on the grassy ground here, as things fade out and we fade back in at the House of Healing reception.

 

Oh, it’s me, Jerome; where am I? Good evening, Jerome. It’s me, Alba. Oh, hey. Morning, Alba. Hey, Holly. You probably need some more rest, Jerome. You were busy last night. Really? What was last night? The Harvest Moon Fair. Oh, it was? I don't even remember it. I always look forward to the fair, but I always seem to miss it. Jerome, we have some news to share with you. Okay. Well, first, I have a brochure I made for you. Okay, ‘Weres It’s At’…is that…? Weres It’s At? Is that spelled right? Can you read it? Can you read it? Weres It’s At, a guide for the newly-discovered…wait, is this for real? I’m a puppy-wolf? I’m afraid so, Jerome. Well, that explains so much. Here comes Magnus. Oh, hey guys, it’s me, Magnus. Hey Magnus, did you have fun at the fair last night? The fair, like the Harvest Moon Fair?

 

Yes. It’s me, Holly; we were there at the fair. Last night? Yeah. Are you sure I was there? I’m pretty sure. Jerome turned into a puppy, made a big mess…oh man, that must have been hilarious. Wait, how come I don't remember anything? I don't remember it, either. I’m Jerome. Magnus, do you turn into puppies, too? Do I? Do I turn into puppies? Maybe. Here, check out this brochure. This is Alba; Magnus does not turn into puppies. Well, you don’t know that for sure. Here, hold onto this, Magnus. Oh, what’s this? It’s a bottle made of silver. So, that shows you’re not a puppy-wolf, Magnus. Yeah, but last night…well, it’s the Harvest Moon, Magnus. Half the town doesn't remember last night. Man, really? ‘Cause I’m sure I saw something awesome. That would be cool.

 

Jerome, do you think…could you turn into a puppy now? Just turn into a puppy. Just…are you a cute puppy when you turn into a puppy? Maybe you could…is there a way Jerome could transfer the powers to me? You want me to transfer my powers to you, Magnus? Okay, no, no, this is Alba; no transferring of powers. Magnus, you have work to do. Oh man, we never have any fun. This is Jerome; I’m going back to sleep. Goodnight. Before we do the tag, this is Scoots. I can remind you to go to albasalix.com or search Alba Salix in your podcast app of choice and listen to the real, original episode during the day. It’s a full-cast audio drama or a piece of audio fiction, so check it out. Then we go into the House of Healing reception.

 

Okay, listen, Jerome, Alba’s not looking. Okay, but yeah, this…I don't think this is a good…I don't even know…I didn’t even know ‘til a few minutes ago that I could turn into a puppy, so I don't know if…Magnus, this is Alba; I’m aware of what’s happening. Alba, it’s for science. Alright, everybody, goodnight. We got one more episode of Alba Salix coming up from Season 2, and then in 20…next year, we’ll start up Season 3. Goodnight. If you love these styles of shows, we do…these are listener-supported shows, so the only way we’re able to do these kind of collaborations is with support. So, if you love these Alba Salix episodes, please consider supporting the show directly; sleepwithmepodcast.com/plus. Thanks, and goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)

Alba Salix

 

The Jungle Book

https://www.filmcomment.com/blog/cinema-67-revisited-jungle-book/

 

https://www.wdw-magazine.com/today-in-disney-history-1967-the-jungle-book-debuted-in-theaters/

 

https://jocelynnielson.com/2024/01/22/the-jungle-book-movie-review-1967/

 

Rare Books Library

https://mastersreview.com/15-of-the-most-unique-libraries-in-the-world/

 

https://bookriot.com/special-collections-the-library-where-all-the-best-books-live/

 

https://beinecke.library.yale.edu/collections/highlights

 

Curse of Macbeth

https://www.rsc.org.uk/macbeth/about-the-play/the-scottish-play

 

https://performingarts.nd.edu/news-announcements/something-wicked-this-way-comes-a-look-at-the-curse-of-macbeth/

 

https://shakespearecompany.com/the-macbeth-curse-a-history/

 

Masquerade

https://www.wardrobeshop.com/blogs/vintage-style-fashion/masquerade-balls-a-history

 

https://allthatsinteresting.com/masquerade-ball-history

 

https://cvhsnews.org/17282/column/revelry-and-razzle-dazzle-a-quick-history-of-masquerade-balls/

 

DOWN TO BUSINESS

I’m taking you back to Farloria

For Loria in Farloria

Our reimagining of Alba Salix S2

 

Deep Dark Night United

n/a

 

PLUGS

Alba Salix; Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAW; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline

 

SPONSORS

Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Lumen

 

INTRO

‘Vicissitudes’ just popped into my head

My brain heckled ‘vicissitudes’ at me

Let’s dive into this definition a little bit more

Ups and downs but mostly downs

My vicissitudes have an attitude

My thoughts are engaged in parallel play to mess up my sleep

Someone somewhere has been through something very similar to you

You’re part of a low attachment community now

This community cares for you, even if they don’t know you

A Low Attachment Podcast

Oh, it’s always never going nowhere!

Talk to me but don’t pay me any mind

Passive Barely Listening

Lay it on me, as King Louie once sang to Baloo

I thought of a new bore nickname yesterday but I forgot it

Explaining the support of the show

You can listen to the original episode in the day and then the sleepy episode at night

 

STORY

Harvest Moon

Something is afoot at the Harvest Moon Fair

Eli chimes in

Whoa, I was at the PodCon he’s talking about!

Nighttime in the palace chambers

Gunther is shuffling around

Parabelle is reading some books on prenatal caring

She wants the best for her future child

Is it ok to do magic while she’s expecting?

She’s not finding what she’s looking for

The theme is playing now

Minister Pearcey is at the office

Magnus can’t play with any sharp objects at the front desk

No one wants to see our cutlery, Magnus!

Magnus is offended they don’t admire his clean dishes

No cutlery and eating at reception, Magnus!

We can’t lose these official cutlery items

Holly is excited for the Harvest Moon fair

Magnus can’t have his cutlery on him at all times

Alba is looking through resumes

MP can’t really relax

No one wants to go with Holly

They will all go and bond as a team!

Julia and Amanda are in the library

Balgamorian Yetis are green and only 3 feet high

They’re famous for their gin

Parabelle summons the royal librarians

Julia and Amanda are prepping some cocktails…for research

A study on the drinking cultures of Farloria

Parabelle is looking fo a very specific magic book

It’s in the Rare Documents collection

3 copies available

Dr Crankel checked out the only usable copy

Parabelle requires a readable copy

Fractazius the Dark, classic

Fractazius wrote a play

The Ambassador of Doom

This play contains excerpts from the original book

This play has a cursed history

One of the actresses grew in unparalleled power

These two librarians are chatty

Cut to MP’s bedroom

MP just wants to stay in

The anniversary of the night they first met

The Harvest Moon Fair is a masquerade!

Great idea, Loria

Picking out masquerade masks

Cut to the fairgrounds

Fresh Squeezed Duvian Nectar

The Duvian Nectar makes for a happy pancreas

Magnus busts this nectar salesman

There’s evidence that it may improve the immune system

Scientific Vigor and Rigor

Magnus can’t find anything to bust

Actors perform on a stage

A preview for a play coming next week

The Frowny Faced History of Baron Bulgoo

The Guild of Flatware

This play about flatware just keeps going…

This play is just an ad

Jerome tries to sit with them

Guild Proof Flatware – worth every penny

Jerome has questions about his medicine

Jerome turns into a puppy dog during the full moon

Puppewolf

Jerome doesn’t know he turns into a puppy dog

Alba doesn’t want to tell him

Cutting back to the play

The Baron hears a voice from the hearth

Holly and Jerome keep interrupting the show with their chatter

Loria and Pearcey walk through the fair

They’re discussing their mutually agreed upon anniversary date

What constitutes a first date?

Loria runs into Holly

They’re still hiding under the masks

Holly is looking for a puppy named … Toby

Loria is frustrated by their secret office romance

Loria will change jobs – she won’t give up this relationship

How will they find new excitement if they’re not working together?

Back to the fairgrounds

Withrow counts out change

Magnus doesn’t believe Withrow is above board

Magnus wants to know about Withrow’s past with Alba

Alba enters before the story gets going

Magnus has to help find the puppy Toby

Withrow knows Toby is a puppewolf

Withrow offers to help Alba

The puppy doesn’t like Withrow

The puppy pees on Withrow’s stall

Back at the music stage where MP and Loria finish dancing

Catch that puppy!

MP will have to write up this incident 

I thought puppies weren’t allowed!

Uh oh, people are realizing about Jerome / Toby

Vigilante justice from neighbor Biff 

MP reveals herself to get the situation under control

Alba is on the way

We can’t blame a puppy for going peepee

This guy Biff is very rude to fairies

MP has questions about Jerome / Toby

Did Alba know about this werepuppy?

Alba’s trying to leave

MP isn’t happy about this

Cut to later

Withrow speaks with a mysterious woman

Withrow lost a mysterious device

Magnus reveals that he’s been spying on them

Magnus found the device

Magnus knows this is a device for summoning magic

Parabelle is under the cloak!

What is going on?

Withrow, dance Magnus out of here!

Withrow will use magic on Magnus

Magnus is going to sleep

Jerome wakes up at the House of Healing

They tell Jerome he’s a werebeing

Were’s It’s At, a werebeing pamphlet

Magnus returns but doesn’t remember last night

Is Magnus also a werebeing/ No

Half the town doesn’t remember the Harvest Moon Fair, tbh

Magnus, get back to work!

The mystery of Parabelle continues

Check out Alba Salix for real!

One more episode from this season!

 

SWM+ THANKS

n/a

 

SUMMARY:

Episode: 1291

Title: Harvest Moon | Alba Salix S2E4

Deep Dark Night United: n/a

Plugs: Alba Salix; Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAW; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline

Sponsors: Helix Sleep; Zocdoc; Progressive; Lumen

SWM+ Thanks: n/a

Notable Language:

• For Loria in Farloria
• Vicissitudes
• Parallel Play
• Cahoots
• Low Attachment Community
• A Low Attachment Podcast
• Kissy Poo Poo
• Cutlery-Based Discussion
• Yetani
• Secondary Sources
• D-O-O-M
• Gwumpy Pants
• Scientific Vigor and Rigor
• Puppewolf
• Puppy Pee Pee
• Were’s It’s At

 

Notable Culture:

• Alba Salix

• • Encyclopedia Brittanica

• The Jungle Book

• • PodCon
  • The Ambassador of Doom

• The Frowny Faced History of Baron Bulgoo

 

Notable Talking Points:

• ‘Vicissitudes’ just popped into my head
• My brain heckled ‘vicissitudes’ at me
• Let’s dive into this definition a little bit more
• Ups and downs but mostly downs
• My vicissitudes have an attitude
• My thoughts are engaged in parallel play to mess up my sleep
• Someone somewhere has been through something very similar to you
• You’re part of a low attachment community now
• This community cares for you, even if they don’t know you
• A Low Attachment Podcast
• Oh, it’s always never going nowhere!
• Talk to me but don’t pay me any mind
• Passive Barely Listening
• Lay it on me, as King Louie once sang to Baloo
• I thought of a new bore nickname yesterday but I forgot it
• Explaining the support of the show
• You can listen to the original episode in the day and then the sleepy episode at night
• Harvest Moon
• Something is afoot at the Harvest Moon Fair
• Eli chimes in
• Whoa, I was at the PodCon he’s talking about!
• Nighttime in the palace chambers
• Gunther is shuffling around
• Parabelle is reading some books on prenatal caring
• She wants the best for her future child
• Is it ok to do magic while she’s expecting?
• She’s not finding what she’s looking for
• The theme is playing now
• Minister Pearcey is at the office
• Magnus can’t play with any sharp objects at the front desk
• No one wants to see our cutlery, Magnus!
• Magnus is offended they don’t admire his clean dishes
• No cutlery and eating at reception, Magnus!
• We can’t lose these official cutlery items
• Holly is excited for the Harvest Moon fair
• Magnus can’t have his cutlery on him at all times
• Alba is looking through resumes
• MP can’t really relax
• No one wants to go with Holly
• They will all go and bond as a team!
• Julia and Amanda are in the library
• Balgamorian Yetis are green and only 3 feet high
• They’re famous for their gin
• Parabelle summons the royal librarians
• Julia and Amanda are prepping some cocktails…for research
• A study on the drinking cultures of Farloria
• Parabelle is looking fo a very specific magic book
• It’s in the Rare Documents collection
• 3 copies available
• Dr Crankel checked out the only usable copy
• Parabelle requires a readable copy
• Fractazius the Dark, classic
• Fractazius wrote a play
• The Ambassador of Doom
• This play contains excerpts from the original book
• This play has a cursed history
• One of the actresses grew in unparalleled power
• These two librarians are chatty
• Cut to MP’s bedroom
• MP just wants to stay in
• The anniversary of the night they first met
• The Harvest Moon Fair is a masquerade!
• Great idea, Loria
• Picking out masquerade masks
• Cut to the fairgrounds
• Fresh Squeezed Duvian Nectar
• The Duvian Nectar makes for a happy pancreas
• Magnus busts this nectar salesman
• There’s evidence that it may improve the immune system
• Scientific Vigor and Rigor
• Magnus can’t find anything to bust
• Actors perform on a stage
• A preview for a play coming next week
• The Frowny Faced History of Baron Bulgoo
• The Guild of Flatware
• This play about flatware just keeps going…
• This play is just an ad
• Jerome tries to sit with them
• Guild Proof Flatware – worth every penny
• Jerome has questions about his medicine
• Jerome turns into a puppy dog during the full moon
• Puppewolf
• Jerome doesn’t know he turns into a puppy dog
• Alba doesn’t want to tell him
• Cutting back to the play
• The Baron hears a voice from the hearth
• Holly and Jerome keep interrupting the show with their chatter
• Loria and Pearcey walk through the fair
• They’re discussing their mutually agreed upon anniversary date
• What constitutes a first date?
• Loria runs into Holly
• They’re still hiding under the masks
• Holly is looking for a puppy named … Toby
• Loria is frustrated by their secret office romance
• Loria will change jobs – she won’t give up this relationship
• How will they find new excitement if they’re not working together?
• Back to the fairgrounds
• Withrow counts out change
• Magnus doesn’t believe Withrow is above board
• Magnus wants to know about Withrow’s past with Alba
• Alba enters before the story gets going
• Magnus has to help find the puppy Toby
• Withrow knows Toby is a puppewolf
• Withrow offers to help Alba
• The puppy doesn’t like Withrow
• The puppy pees on Withrow’s stall
• Back at the music stage where MP and Loria finish dancing
• Catch that puppy!
• MP will have to write up this incident 
• I thought puppies weren’t allowed!
• Uh oh, people are realizing about Jerome / Toby
• Vigilante justice from neighbor Biff 
• MP reveals herself to get the situation under control
• Alba is on the way
• We can’t blame a puppy for going peepee
• This guy Biff is very rude to fairies
• MP has questions about Jerome / Toby
• Did Alba know about this werepuppy?
• Alba’s trying to leave
• MP isn’t happy about this
• Cut to later
• Withrow speaks with a mysterious woman
• Withrow lost a mysterious device
• Magnus reveals that he’s been spying on them
• Magnus found the device
• Magnus knows this is a device for summoning magic
• Parabelle is under the cloak!
• What is going on?
• Withrow, dance Magnus out of here!
• Withrow will use magic on Magnus
• Magnus is going to sleep
• Jerome wakes up at the House of Healing
• They tell Jerome he’s a werebeing
• Were’s It’s At, a werebeing pamphlet
• Magnus returns but doesn’t remember last night
• Is Magnus also a werebeing/ No
• Half the town doesn’t remember the Harvest Moon Fair, tbh
• Magnus, get back to work!
• The mystery of Parabelle continues
• Check out Alba Salix for real!
• One more episode from this season!