1277 – Air Duct Love Poems | Multiplex Ep11
Our heroes will be sailing the sleepy seas of stationery after a visit to a bookstore.
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Multiplex
Pointillism
https://www.riseart.com/guide/2582/a-brief-history-of-pointillism
https://www.thecollector.com/what-is-pointillism/
The Bootstraps Myth
https://time.com/6261476/bootstrapping-myth-new-american-dream/
https://www.theguardian.com/books/2023/apr/06/poverty-us-bootstrapping-self-made
Leonard Maltin
https://leonardmaltin.com/the-film-books-that-mattered-to-me/
https://www.rogerebert.com/interviews/leonard-maltins-final-guide-marks-the-end-of-an-era
Projectionists
https://pipelineartists.com/the-life-death-and-rebirth-of-film-projection/
https://nofilmschool.com/2014/08/short-documentary-going-dark-final-days-film-projection
https://www.yahoo.com/news/photographs-capture-the-lost-art-of-film-projection-171147275.html
DOWN TO BUSINESS
Can you peruse a podcast?
How do you spell peruse?
I need an explanation of definition
I have a special skill to peruse words without knowing their definitions
Harmless Perusing of Words
Deep Dark Night United
n/a
PLUGS
Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline
SPONSORS
Claritin; Helix Sleep; Odoo; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive
INTRO
Feelings about those Thoughts
A lot of us here can relate to how you feel
We do have the official jazz singer of the podcast
Chris, the Silver Tone
He’s dulcet, I’m creaky and dulcet
Gratuitous Alliteration
I’m gratified by how much alliteration is in GBBO
Background noise you could listen to
Like dozing off in a warm classroom seminar post-lunch
Social Interference Going On Here
The etymology of peruse
Oh wait, somehow I looked up the definition of “pursue”
My phone is as mixed up as I am
Great Gratitude for Gratuitous Alliteration
I tried to use gratuitous gratuitously
Gosh, Golly, Groaning at my Gratuitousness
I strongly recommend doodling in the air with a laser pointer
Or the Pointer Sisters. Or Pontillism.
It’s Multiplex tonight
Being helpful in a mall
STORY
Our episodically modular series
I thought prequels always came in 3’s or 1’s?
Next up, the honor of Antonio
We get Antonio after dark, but not in the Cinemax way
To quote Barney, I love you, Antonio
In an Odd Couple way
That was really smooth, Antonio
Antonio, maybe you’d be more quiet if you were in a Barney costume
Wyatt checks in
People have discovered Wyatt’s old public access TV show
People wanted to know about the makeup work on my show
But the truth is they were real, it wasn’t makeup
But how did I meet these friends?
An adventure that ends in an average life (except for Boyd)
Wyatt, Josie, Santos – we’re A-type personalities
Headed to the Halls of Ivy
Unlimited Horizons is kind of a contradiction, no?
How did I get so lucky?
Someplace Satisfactory
Trying to find another way to get into that high-paying university
Boyd’s juice concentrate plan
The mall had been abandoned, but the mall was still stocked
Workers that are real but not real
Classic Autumnal Movie Figures, wandering the mall
Crispy Commander, Commander Crunch needs our help
Tracking down the Person who would not be seen
Josie hurt herself in the morning
We’re stumped if we want to help this person
Crossing paths at the tea shop
Covered in Paste and Tea
The Unseen Man says he’s provided for us well
This mall intersects with the Transverse Plane
The person who would be seen has been running the mall, providing for us
Magic and Hard Work
How is hurting Josie helping out?
“Aren’t I a good worker?”
Why are they helping us?
Crispy Commander asked them to help us
No offense, you’re not very nice in the movie
The person who could not be seen wants to change
Trying to change through actions and service
They got here a little while before us
How can we help someone who’s trying to help us?
Josie was having a strong response
Josie knew the internal life of the invisible person
If this is true, they can go back into the movie right away
You’re working at the mall, you’re not a mall worker
Maybe we should have a private discussion
He does need our help
Crispy Commander Sized Cabinets
The Unseen Man has a secret
He’s not fully changed
Something is hollow about this
He doesn’t trust the Crispy Commander
He doesn’t want to become a cereal mascot
He wants to change but not into something else
Invisible Person owns up to not being good
He wants to go back to his world and change
This is a normal level of mistrust
We don’t trust the Crispy Commander, maybe
How can we buy time and help the invisible person
Let’s go to the bookstore
Theory and Action
Two bookstores at this mall
Whitman Books
They look like a floating tea bush
Putting a sign on the invisible person’s back
San’s reading assignment
Invisible Person has to give oral reports on books
“Getting to Yes”
“The One Minute Salesperson”
‘The last Barrier’
‘The Teachings of Don Juan’
‘The Handmaid’s Tale’
‘Ways of Seeing’
‘The Big Book’
‘12 and 12’
Josie has an idea – go check the Classics
Go look for illustrated or comic classics
The book The Invisible Man
What about the books about the other characters?
The books weren’t the original books!
A full novel about the count, but it’s about the Count du Chocolat
The novels are about the cereal characters now!
The Invisible Man hasn’t changed yet
What’s going on?
Keep reading, invisible man, we’ll be back to check on you
Boyd took a book out of the bookstore
Reference books about movies
Looking for certain movies at the movie store
The movies are changed too!
This wasn’t at All Buster’s movies
There wasn’t a big classic movie section
Let’s check on a movie at the multiplex
The doors are locked up at this theatre
The Most Metaphorical of the Autumnal Films
Does that movie have dialogue?
A lot of organ music
Jack the Doctor and the Steamed Personality
This is work and magic?
Beyond our understanding
Who’s playing the movies? Not the person who could not be seen
Headed to the projectionist booth
Josie’s brother is a projectionist
What happens if we stop the movie?
The door is locked, but Josie knows where the keys are hidden
This booth was also a good space for private, illicit time
Something’s off with the projector
We really don’t know what will happen
Santos sees an air duct
Scraps of material hang from the air duct
Purple, green, and blue
This is the Crispy Commander’s uniform
Who’s gonna look inside this duct?
A very large duct
I found some things after wiggling my way in
Projection booth was lit like a photo lab
A cozy little spot and a battery powered lantern
Stationary from the stationary store
This was lovey dovey
Sailing the Stationary Seas
These are love letters!
Crispy Commander Love Poems
Private Business of an Unreal Character
We took a break to read through all these love letters and poems
SWM+ THANKS
Carey, Emily, Elaine, Laura, Abigail, Jess, Judy, Amelia, Dan, Christina, Justin, Dennis, Michael, Steve, Elizabeth, Grace, Abigail, Stephanie, Karen, Belinda, Brian, Summer, Kendra, Tess, Sarah, Jasmine, Sophia, Caitlin, Kennedy, Zoe
SUMMARY:
Episode: 1277
Title: Air Duct Love Poems | Multiplex Ep11
Deep Dark Night United: n/a
Plugs: Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline
Sponsors: Claritin; Helix Sleep; Odoo; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive
SWM+ Thanks: Carey, Emily, Elaine, Laura, Abigail, Jess, Judy, Amelia, Dan, Christina, Justin, Dennis, Michael, Steve, Elizabeth, Grace, Abigail, Stephanie, Karen, Belinda, Brian, Summer, Kendra, Tess, Sarah, Jasmine, Sophia, Caitlin, Kennedy, Zoe
Notable Language:
- Perusing Podcasts
- Gratuitous Alliteration
- Social Interference
- Peruse
- Gosh, Golly, Groaning at my Gratuitousness
- Classic Autumnal Movie Figures
- Crispy Commander Sized Cabinets
- Theory and Action
- The Most Metaphorical of the Autumnal Films
- Duct
- Sailing the Stationary Seas
- Crispy Commander Love Poems
Notable Culture:
-
- Chris, the Silver Tone
- Great British Bake-Off
-
- Pointer Sisters
- Pontillism
- Multiplex
-
- Cinemax
- Barney
- The Odd Couple
- “Getting to Yes”
- “The One Minute Salesperson”
- ‘The last Barrier’
- ‘The Teachings of Don Juan’
- ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’
- ‘Ways of Seeing’
- ‘The Big Book’
- ‘12 and 12’
- The Bible
- Dracula
- Frankenstein
- The Invisible Man
- The Mummy
- Leonard Maltin
- All Buster’s Movies
- Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde
Notable Talking Points:
- Feelings about those Thoughts
- A lot of us here can relate to how you feel
- We do have the official jazz singer of the podcast
- Chris, the Silver Tone
- He’s dulcet, I’m creaky and dulcet
- Gratuitous Alliteration
- I’m gratified by how much alliteration is in GBBO
- Background noise you could listen to
- Like dozing off in a warm classroom seminar post-lunch
- Social Interference Going On Here
- The etymology of peruse
- Oh wait, somehow I looked up the definition of “pursue”
- My phone is as mixed up as I am
- Great Gratitude for Gratuitous Alliteration
- I tried to use gratuitous gratuitously
- Gosh, Golly, Groaning at my Gratuitousness
- I strongly recommend doodling in the air with a laser pointer
- Or the Pointer Sisters. Or Pontillism.
- It’s Multiplex tonight
- Being helpful in a mall
- Our episodically modular series
- I thought prequels always came in 3’s or 1’s?
- Next up, the honor of Antonio
- We get Antonio after dark, but not in the Cinemax way
- To quote Barney, I love you, Antonio
- In an Odd Couple way
- That was really smooth, Antonio
- Antonio, maybe you’d be more quiet if you were in a Barney costume
- Wyatt checks in
- People have discovered Wyatt’s old public access TV show
- People wanted to know about the makeup work on my show
- But the truth is they were real, it wasn’t makeup
- But how did I meet these friends?
- An adventure that ends in an average life (except for Boyd)
- Wyatt, Josie, Santos – we’re A-type personalities
- Headed to the Halls of Ivy
- Unlimited Horizons is kind of a contradiction, no?
- How did I get so lucky?
- Someplace Satisfactory
- Trying to find another way to get into that high-paying university
- Boyd’s juice concentrate plan
- The mall had been abandoned, but the mall was still stocked
- Workers that are real but not real
- Classic Autumnal Movie Figures, wandering the mall
- Crispy Commander, Commander Crunch needs our help
- Tracking down the Person who would not be seen
- Josie hurt herself in the morning
- We’re stumped if we want to help this person
- Crossing paths at the tea shop
- Covered in Paste and Tea
- The Unseen Man says he’s provided for us well
- This mall intersects with the Transverse Plane
- The person who would be seen has been running the mall, providing for us
- Magic and Hard Work
- How is hurting Josie helping out?
- “Aren’t I a good worker?”
- Why are they helping us?
- Crispy Commander asked them to help us
- No offense, you’re not very nice in the movie
- The person who could not be seen wants to change
- Trying to change through actions and service
- They got here a little while before us
- How can we help someone who’s trying to help us?
- Josie was having a strong response
- Josie knew the internal life of the invisible person
- If this is true, they can go back into the movie right away
- You’re working at the mall, you’re not a mall worker
- Maybe we should have a private discussion
- He does need our help
- Crispy Commander Sized Cabinets
- The Unseen Man has a secret
- He’s not fully changed
- Something is hollow about this
- He doesn’t trust the Crispy Commander
- He doesn’t want to become a cereal mascot
- He wants to change but not into something else
- Invisible Person owns up to not being good
- He wants to go back to his world and change
- This is a normal level of mistrust
- We don’t trust the Crispy Commander, maybe
- How can we buy time and help the invisible person
- Let’s go to the bookstore
- Theory and Action
- Two bookstores at this mall
- Whitman Books
- They look like a floating tea bush
- Putting a sign on the invisible person’s back
- San’s reading assignment
- Invisible Person has to give oral reports on books
- “Getting to Yes”
- “The One Minute Salesperson”
- ‘The last Barrier’
- ‘The Teachings of Don Juan’
- ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’
- ‘Ways of Seeing’
- ‘The Big Book’
- ‘12 and 12’
- Josie has an idea – go check the Classics
- Go look for illustrated or comic classics
- The book The Invisible Man
- What about the books about the other characters?
- The books weren’t the original books!
- A full novel about the count, but it’s about the Count du Chocolat
- The novels are about the cereal characters now!
- The Invisible Man hasn’t changed yet
- What’s going on?
- Keep reading, invisible man, we’ll be back to check on you
- Boyd took a book out of the bookstore
- Reference books about movies
- Looking for certain movies at the movie store
- The movies are changed too!
- This wasn’t at All Buster’s movies
- There wasn’t a big classic movie section
- Let’s check on a movie at the multiplex
- The doors are locked up at this theatre
- The Most Metaphorical of the Autumnal Films
- Does that movie have dialogue?
- A lot of organ music
- Jack the Doctor and the Steamed Personality
- This is work and magic?
- Beyond our understanding
- Who’s playing the movies? Not the person who could not be seen
- Headed to the projectionist booth
- Josie’s brother is a projectionist
- What happens if we stop the movie?
- The door is locked, but Josie knows where the keys are hidden
- This booth was also a good space for private, illicit time
- Something’s off with the projector
- We really don’t know what will happen
- Santos sees an air duct
- Scraps of material hang from the air duct
- Purple, green, and blue
- This is the Crispy Commander’s uniform
- Who’s gonna look inside this duct?
- A very large duct
- I found some things after wiggling my way in
- Projection booth was lit like a photo lab
- A cozy little spot and a battery powered lantern
- Stationary from the stationary store
- This was lovey dovey
- Sailing the Stationary Seas
- These are love letters!
- Crispy Commander Love Poems
- Private Business of an Unreal Character
- We took a break to read through all these love letters and poems
-
Episode 1277 – Air Duct Love Poems | Multiplex Episode 11
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, whether you’re just perusing this…can you peruse a podcast? I don't know. Is perusing only visual? I was thinking about perusing things in a bookstore because this episode may have a quick bookstore visit. But whether you’re perusing…it’s just funny; ‘perusing the podcast’ is nice alliteration. Let me look up ‘peruse’ for later. P-U-R…I don't even know how to spell it, though. Per…use? Per…use? But, I don't know, maybe…it looks like…I’ll read the…what is that called? Not explan…I need an explanation of the definition.
But you could…you do peruse the podcast at first because you’re visually…if it’s a visual-only thing, you’re perusing your podcast app…you’re perusing podcasts in your pod…you peruse in your podcast app for podcasts to listen to. So, if you’re confused by my peruse, you may be in the right place. Welcome to Sleep With Me. This is a silly podcast meant to be your friend in the deep, dark night, take your mind off of stuff, keep you company so you could fall asleep, and what I’m gonna do here is I’m gonna just talk you to sleep, just like you call a friend and you say, hey, talk to me about…like, do you know the definitions of very many words?
No, but I could…I can talk using the words without…I have a strange skill; I can peruse words without knowing their meaning. They would say, technically you’re not…you can't peruse words. I’d say, well, I can. It’s just not…it may disrupt the space-time continuum. They say, what happened with Earth 444-ZQ? It was the strangest thing; this guy started perusing words and everything went awry. So, yeah, that happened. But don't worry, that’s not our timeline. In our timeline, my perusing is…harmless perusing of words. I mean, if you like…anyway, so, this is a strange podcast. It takes some getting used to. Give it a few tries.
What we got coming up; support so you could listen to the show free whenever you want, then a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime and get you comfortable, then later on will be a bedtime story about some friends in a shopping mall. They may visit a bookstore. That’s it. I’m glad you’re here. I work really hard and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. These sponsors, the people who support them, and the people who support the show directly — thank you, my bore-friends — are what make this show possible. Thanks so much.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake. It could be thoughts you’re thinking about, so thought…things you’re…thoughts you’re thinking about, thoughts about the past, the present, the future, feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally, like anything you’re feeling about those thoughts or feelings that are just there.
It could be physical sensations, it could be changes in time, temperature, routine, you could be going through something, you could be anticipating something, you could be traveling, work a different shift, have guests. Whatever it is, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff. The only reason I list some of that stuff is for two reasons. One, so you know you’re not alone. I am here to keep you company in the deep, dark night because I’ve been there and most of the people listening right now have been there in their own way. We all know how it feels for us, but we also can — a lot of us — relate to how other people feel, like other listeners or other people that never listen to the podcast again, even, because we’ve been in the same place, right? I’m not just talking about physically.
I’m talking about how it feels when you can't sleep or when you’re anticipating it. You might say, Scoots, you never have…you haven't experienced what’s keeping me up at night. I say, maybe not, but I can guarantee you someone is listening right now somewhere in this wide, wonderful world, who can relate to how you feel, and they’re real…this is true because I’ve heard from people. They are nodding their heads right now, welcoming you in and saying, yeah, I do know how that feels because I’ve felt it recently, but I found this podcast and it helps me, and I hope it can help you, too, or that it guides you to the next thing that can help you get the rest you need. That’s the other side of this, is that you deserve a bedtime you don’t have to dread.
You deserve a bedtime without any rigmarole, a bedtime you could feel neutral about, at least, or look forward to, where you get the rest you need so your life is more manageable, and ideally you get the rest you need so you could be out there flourishing and not having to struggle to fall asleep. That’s what I hope for you and that’s why I make this show, because I’ve been there. Now, the one thing is it does take a lot…it does take some getting used to, for some people a lot of getting used to, because this show is very different. So, give it a few tries and see how it goes. It’s just, it’s different 'cause what happens is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, which means my voice is not traditionally soothing. We do have an official jazz singer of the podcast.
I haven't been in touch with the Silvertone, but we do. The Silvertone, Chris, is the official jazz singer of this podcast, and he has dulcet tones. That’s why I call him the Silvertone. But so…but mine are creaky, dulcet, not traditionally soothing. But you say, oh, it’s kinda like a friend talking to me. I go off-topic, I get mixed up, I figure…I have to figure out what words mean, I misuse words, gratuitous…gratuitous alliteration. There’s a lot of things…that’s one of the things in this podcast, but there’s plenty of other stuff out there that does have gratuitous alliteration. You’d say, my word, there’s gratuitous alliteration in this podcast? I’d say, there may be. This podcast probably…I promise and don’t…I under-deliver, but Great British Bake Off is one example.
It does have what I feel in a good way…okay, I’ll just say this; I’m gratified. Maybe their alliteration is not gratuitous, but I’m gratified and grateful for their alliteration. ‘Cause gratuitous kinda sounds perjorative, but it’s not. In this case, you say, well, you could have…it’s kinda like a butterfly flying in the flowers. You’d say, alliteration for alliteration’s sake is just fine by me, but I do make a sleep podcast where I don't even know where the word ‘peruse’ means. Okay, so, what else takes some getting used to other than stuff like that? Okay, the podcast is very different, you’re probably tired, you’ve probably been looking for something to help you fall asleep, right, and then you found this show either for searching or because someone told you about it, and then you’re like, what’s up with this? Is this guy serious?
I say, no, not really. I mean, I take my job seriously, but yeah, I’m so serious you’re not…you don’t need to listen to me. This is a podcast…you just kinda barely listen to it and that takes some getting used to, but it’s kinda like I’m background noise you could listen to, again, something like a TV on in the other room or someone talking, and whatever the social compact is, even if they don’t know the social compact…you’re like, I’m not really…I’m gonna pretend to listen to you, barely. This one, I’m totally fine with that. You don’t have to pretend you’re not falling asleep, right? You just doze right off like a seminar in a warm classroom after lunch. I mean, holy moly. So…I mean, that’s why they invented Zoom, I think. Even on Zoom, it’s not always easy, but at least…you’d say, I gotta turn my camera off.
My dog’s…whatever, I got something…I got social interference. They say, I don't think…I think that’s the…and I say, oh yeah, it’s total social interference going on here. It’s a technicality. So, yeah, it’s a podcast you just barely listen to. It’s also a podcast…I’m not here to…I’m not…it’s a podcast…it’s a sleep podcast that doesn't put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep, to take your mind off of stuff. There is no pressure to fall asleep with this show. I’m gonna be here over an hour so that you don’t have to worry about when you fall asleep. There’s people who are listening who can't sleep. I’m here to the very end for them and for you.
I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your bore-bestie, your neigh-bore, your Borbie, your bore-bor, your bores, to keep you company as you drift off, to take your mind off whatever’s keeping you awake. Peruse, though…let’s see, peruse, according…let’s go to Cambridge. Peruse meaning…it’s…read through something to see if you’re interested in it. Can we find out what it’s…? Yeah, open the new…okay, so let’s go to etymology, right? Peruse…this is live. It’s from the Latin prosequi? Let’s see here. Peruse…this isn't the archaic…peruses…literary…proceed along, engage in a course of action; that’s pursue. Oh, whoops, pursue…somehow I…oh, boy. Prosequi…alright, well, my phone’s as mixed up as I am. What was I saying?
Yeah, I’m here to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company. The other thing that can throw people off is the structure of the show. The show is structured in a very specific way to benefit as many people as possible, but you can adjust it if you decide, hey, this particular format does not work for me. But this is the way we get it out to get the most people to fall asleep to it. So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then I say something silly…fae something filly, and this time it was about perusing podcasts or whatever. That’s so you feel seen and welcomed in. You say, okay, I get the tone of the podcast. Maybe I’ll check it out. Then there’s sponsor support so the show can be free.
Now, if you decide you prefer something without ads, you can get that on Sleep With Me+ or on Apple Podcasts or through our referral program, but most people prefer this ad-supported version and listen linearly. After the support is a long, meandering intro, separate from the support. It is a show within a show, and this time we talked a little bit about gratuitous…what do you call that? Alliteration, and gratitude for gratuitous…there you go. Great gratitude for…oh wait, no, that’s…‘alliteration’ starts with an A. Oh, I was using…trying to use alliteration gratuitously with the word ‘gratuitous’. Oh, gosh, golly. I’m trying to…it makes you groan, my gratuitous…groaning to my gratuitousness. So, what was I saying?
Oh, structure of the show…the intro goes on and on and on. It ineffectively introduces the podcast. It’s different every single time but it follows a similar structure because it’s supposed to ease you into bedtime. But it’s different every time 'cause whatever keeps me awake is very grouchy most of the time and very contradictory. So, if something repeats…if the intro was the same every time, at least for me, that part of me that keeps me awake would be…that would stick out. I’d say, I can't…the podcast is the same every time at the beginning. So, that’s why the intro’s different every time. The reason it is fifteen to twenty minutes long is so that you have a buffer between your official bedtime and your falling-asleep time. It’s to ease you into bedtime.
So, some people are getting ready for bed listening, some people are doing a wind-down activity or chilling or…they’re not in bed yet; they might be doing some…I strongly recommend doodling or doodling in the air with a laser pointer or…thinking about the Pointer Sisters would be another one, or maybe Pointillism. I don't know. But yeah, it’s meant to ease you into bed. Some people are in bed getting comfortable and just fluffing their pillows and getting in bed, there’s a small percentage of people that are already asleep which we’re so happy for, there’s a larger percentage of partners that are asleep; we’re so happy for them, really, and then there’s about two percent of people that skip the intro, and then there’s people that support the show and only listen to stories on Sleep With Me+.
But there’s also people that only listen to intros on Sleep With Me+…or people that listen to compilations or if you listen all night long. But for most people, the intro is meant to ease you into bedtime, not to put you to sleep. Then after the intro is support again so the show could be free, paying for it’s optional, and then there will be a bedtime story. It’ll be friends in a mall, Multiplex, and solve…helping the mall. In this case…well, I don't know. They’re being helpful in the mall. Then there’s some thank-yous at the end. So, that’s the structure of the show. That’s why I make the show, is because I’ve been there and I believe you do deserve a good night's sleep. Our world will be a better place if you’re rested. So, I’m really glad you’re here. I work really hard. So do a team of people, and we really appreciate your time, you checking the podcast out and coming by, and here’s a couple ways we’re able to do it for you for free twice a week.
Alright, hey everybody, it’s Scoots here. This is our episodically modular series. It’s called Multiplex. It’s a series of episodes that’s are episodically modular with a touch of seriality, which means you could listen to these in any order. I believe this is Episode 11, but you could listen to all the other episodes as prequels. You’d say, well, I thought prequels always came in threes or ones. I’d say, well, in this…three, six, nine, ten…plus one. Three sets of prequels plus one, and then this is…we called it Episode 11, but for you it’s Episode 1. Or if you’re a regular listener…the other cool thing is the main character will catch us up on most of what’s been happening, and everything happens at a very slow and sleepy pace.
But this is a tale about some friends at a shopping mall. They’re helping out in the mall. They’re helping out characters, workers at the mall, helping one another and growing. They’re on an adventure. So, that’s the summary of the show from me. I’m so glad you’re here. I really am so grateful I get to put you to sleep and keep you company on a regular basis. So, it really is my honor, and next up we’ve got…you know what’s really an honor is always to have our Hollywood announcer come all the way from the Greater Los Angeles Area or other places, fest…film fest…places where he’s appreciated for…in the daytime and the evening.
But we get Antonio After Dark, and I’m not talking about…that would have been on what used to be called Cinemax, but I could see Antonio After Dark at a fireplace with a jacket on, calmly doing something and helping everybody unwind. But in this case, he just comes here 'cause he loves all of you. He loves putting you to sleep or being a part of this thing, and I guess in some sense he loves…he’s nodding which is making me uncomfortable. I was gonna say he loves me. I love him, and I feel like Barney all of a sudden. But we are a great big family, as…to quote Barney, I love you, Antonio. You love me, clearly. Let’s just…in a odd-couple way. Yes, I get it. He said that. The mic didn’t pick it up, but…and we’re a great big family with all the listeners.
So, without further ado, your Hollywood announcer, Mr. Antonio Banderas. That was touching. The friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys, the girls, it’s time to journey into ze Multiplex. Yeah. Flickity-flickity-flack. Oh, thanks, Antonio. That was smooth, too. Now…and maybe I’ll get a Barney suit. I wonder if…hopefully there’s no…that might be a good thing…that might keep you quieter if you were in a suit, as long as it didn’t have any infrastructure. We’d just need a cheap Halloween-costume version that only has the outside of Barney. Also, a lot of people probably don’t know who Barney is anymore, but that’s fine, too. But that’s Mr. Antonio Banderas. This is Multiplex. Thanks for being here, everybody.
Hi, everybody. My name is Wyatt. Welcome to my tale. I’ve been recording this now, looking back at my life here, and sharing an adventure my friends and I went on at Multiplex, some shopping mall, and it’s…the reason I’m telling you this adventure is people think I’ve…I had a public-access show about…where I would show old movies, autumn…autumnal-seasonal movies, with characters from that…those movies, and sometimes I’d interview them before the show or in-between segments. It was just something I did for public access, for fun as part of my hobby, and now in the internet age it’s become…I became popular. You know, just within a certain subgenre of fans. But they said, one, these…how do you do the makeup and the prosthetics and the special effects?
Even people from Hollywood did call me and…who were these performers? Who did the writing? Because it’s like nothing we’ve ever seen. That wasn’t also to take away from the shows that already existed, some of which were on broadcast television, which were all very good, a lot of them, and a lot of them had good interviews and effects. It’s just to say that mine were different and not associated with public-access television. But the reason is because it was real, and I want to clear the record that these were friends of mine from another world and they were real. But you’re not gonna believe that, right? You’re saying, this is just an audio recording I’m listening to and you’re just a character, and none of that’s real or anything like that.
I’d say, okay, that’s fine. We can agree on that part. Why, right? ‘Cause you may be asking, why are you talk…about it anyway? Well, the more important thing is I went…the way I met these friends and made friends with these characters was that I went on an adventure with my friends from high school, and…but the reason I want to tell the tale isn't because…it was a grand adventure and it was an adventure no one could ever have but us, but you’re on an adventure like that, too. I hope you understand that. I guess I didn’t realize that that’s part of the message I’m trying to get across, because we went on a grand adventure that didn’t end in greatness, that didn’t end in transcendent amazement.
Our adventure ended in a life…an average life in the best way possible for each one of us except for Boyd, but Boyd wasn’t…Boyd was…anyway, the reason…'cause three of us, myself, Wyatt, Santos, San, and Josie, we were all in different ways what people may call A-type personalities, overachievers destined for greatness without crushing external pressure, either. There was pressure, but we were all headed to Halls of Ivy, to unlimited horizons, which is kinda contradictory 'cause they never…when they say you’re…you got a unlimited horizon or whatever, really they mean you’re gonna fly high in the sky. That’s what we thought we were not only destined to do but supposed to do and what would bring us happiness.
We were just teenagers, right? But what we found in this adventure was that our paths diverted and instead of the…I guess it was the road less-traveled, but it was more like, hey, this road’s not so fancy. Why don’t you try travelling on this one? You might say, Boyd, you’re trying to be fake-humble and that’s not something…and I’d say, no, no, no. I mean, maybe I am. There’s a part…I’m not perfect, right? I’m just trying to say that nobody ever tells an adventure that ends in…I mean, maybe they do and you just don’t remember it, but an adventure that ends in kinda average stuff…but that an adventure gets you there. Or maybe they…you say, how is that person just smiling and doing that stuff? Even I…that’s why…I guess maybe I am selfishly telling this tale for myself. How did I get so lucky?
One, to have an adventure I could never tell about until now, but two, that the adventure led me to some place satisfactory but not…well, it’s shiny in its own way. I don't know. I mean, I don't even know if anybody will probably hear this. But so, the four of us…the three of us, Santos, Josie and I, Wyatt, we were all destined for greatness. You say, well, that’s what somebody that never achieved greatness would say. I’d say, fair enough. You say whatever…you’re free to say which…whatever you want to say. Yeah, that’s fine. But so, we were all destined…but what happened was I had had a misstep or two on my path in full scholarship to a very highly-acclaimed university, but I still was headed that way. I said, well, I’ll still find another way to pay for going to that highly-acclaimed university. They should want me anyway.
But as a teenager I was also like, I guess I didn’t just say that; I said, I gotta find a way with…under my control…pull up my bootstraps because if I don't have that extra money, I can't go. That was when we ran across Boyd. ‘The Corncob Kid’ Boyd was known as in our school, and Boyd emerged from a culvert as we were playing mini-golf or finishing a game of mini-golf, and he said, more or less…this is the short version; on the other side of this culvert is a shopping mall. You all know about it. It had been closed for years. In the shopping mall is…I’m gonna be…a con…a juice concentrate. They’ve been abandoned there. They’re still usable and I can sell them to make money, but I need help. There’s a lot of the concentrate and it sells for a high price, so there would be a lot of money for us to share.
Alls I need is your help. This is an opportunity and it’s knocking. Boyd didn’t say that, but I thought that was a dramatic thing to add in there because it’s the truth. So, we said, we’ll answer the door. Let’s go. We went into the shopping mall to get this Julius J Juice concentrate, and we found that…slowly we realized that something was awry in the mall, something beyond our understanding. A few things we found out slowly; time in the mall was operating much slower than in the outside world. Or, no, much faster, I guess. One day at the mall equalled an hour in the outside world. Is that faster or slower? I don't understand. But anyway…and we had planned on spending the weekend so we’d all covered for each other at our houses, so we had about two days of cover time. So, time was different.
The mall was different because it had been closed for years, abandoned, surrounded by fencing, but the stores were stocked. There was food for us to eat. There was occasionally workers, though they did seem to come from another world, but they weren’t from the big farm in the sky, either, but they weren’t…they were real but not real. We also realized that the Multiplex was playing movies and the characters from the movies…these were classic movies, autumnal-themed movies. The characters were leaving their movies and wandering the mall. Those characters needed our help, and by helping them, they would be able to return to their movies and their movies would result in a different ending.
None of those movies end well for those autumnal figures, but in our versions, when we helped them, they would go back and then they would become…it would become a cereal commercial. Then we met the Crispy Commander, Commander Crunch, who was actually a cereal mascot in…that was real, but we had already spent enough time in the mall, it didn’t really…it struck us as different. But we said, yeah, I need your help helping these autumnal figures, and they’re gonna become cereal. I’m gonna make money from the cereal, you’ll get the money, and you’ll keep your world protected, 'cause you don’t want these autumnal figures leaving the mall, obviously.
So, we were in, and when we last left off, the person would would not be seen…we had watched their film. Josie had gone into their film and sprained her knee — or more than sprained it — but in a way that had been treated in the movie and in…anyway, and we had kinda got a taste of this person who would not be seen. They had the power of invisibility. In the movie, they were full of chaos and unkindness, and we didn’t…this was the first movie where we were kinda stumped…of, do we want to help this person even at all? Then we crossed paths with them at the tea shop, right? They were there, they had made tea for us, and they had asked us to sit down to have tea with them. We had also covered them in paste and tea so we could see them, and I guess that’s where we left off.
So, yeah. Usually I take a break when we’re sleeping, but we weren’t asleep here. But basically the person that could not be seen, they said, hey, okay, let’s have some tea. Ha, ha, you covered me in tea. You got me. I guess you’ll be able to see me from now on, for the time being. I wonder if this will be itchy. There’s some in my ear. You know, that whole thing. They said, sit down. Let’s have some tea together. We were just…they said, sorry you injured your knee, Josie. They said, sit down. I’m the provider of tea, and I’ve been a good provider for all of you, haven't I? We were like, what? ‘Cause they were explaining…'cause one of the things we just had trouble figuring out was that the mall was running but there wasn’t anyone running it.
Occasionally there was a worker, but the workers, based on this transverse-plane theory that Commander…Crispy Commander, Commander Crunch, the Crispy Commander, had told us was that this is…this mall is built on or intersects with the transverse plane. Things come through the transverse plane that need assistance, whether it’s autumnal figures or mall workers, and other things are at play beyond our understanding, but that’s basically what you need to know. You’re supposed to help people. When your…the transverse plane is a place where — I guess the more I’m learning about it — things reach out across universes. It may or may not be parallel; it may just be intersecting…that need assistance, and you help.
A lesson for life if I ever heard one. So…oh, but so, we were like, how…but still, how is the mall…? We weren’t totally think…over…we were underthinking it, I guess, and here was the person who wouldn't be seen saying, I’ve been the one running the mall, stocking the food court, providing for all of you. We were like, well, we thought it was magic or the magic of whatever’s been happening here. They said, magic and hard work, right. You’re right, it is magic. I’m the one that cooks…the food is…you know what I mean? I’m the worker. But yeah, the stuff is there. Sometimes it needs to be organized or the ingredients have to be mixed, but yeah, I’m running around, I’m hiding…I’ve been hiding from all of you. So, when you come, you just see the hot dogs circling on that thing, and maybe you smelled them ahead of time.
Maybe you didn’t even know it…or the popcorn’s ready to go. But that’s because you never thought to look for someone who couldn’t be seen, and he had a laugh at that. We kinda did, too, 'cause we never would have thought we needed to keep an eye out for the person who couldn't be seen…until we saw the movie, and then…even then we didn’t think about it because we said, we better keep an eye out for the person who can't be seen because they are very frowny-faced. Not that they…and we said, but this doesn't…well, why would you be doing that? ‘Cause, again, particularly Josie, who had kind of seemed like…Josie with…was Josie’s knee…that Josie’s path to the Halls of Ivy and great achievement and full scholarships for athletics was…may not be the case anymore. Like, what are you doing?
They said, well, I’m the…I’m helping out in the mall to help all of you. Haven't I done a good job? Aren’t I a good worker? Then I think they almost said ‘person’. We said, yeah, I guess you’ve done a good job. Yeah, thank you for feeding us, but why are you helping us, is the question. Like, are you just doing it for fun because you’re a good person now? Because the person…and they said, well, no, no, no. Crispy Commander, Commander Crunch, they talked to you, too. They asked me to do it, to host you, in a sense, at the mall. We said, yeah, but why? Well, 'cause you need to eat. You need to feel at home a little bit, right? You need a place to rest, and the Crispy Commander’s busy, so…again, particularly Josie said, but this doesn't fit for your…your film.
In the film…no offense, you are not a good person in the film, and I didn’t see you doing any hosting or preparing anything other than chaos and not-kind action. So, this doesn't make any sense at all. This is very out of character for you. The person who couldn't be seen — luckily 'cause they were covered in tea — they held their hands up in a way, like a way of passive…they said, you’re right. You’re right, I am. I want to change, and the Crispy Commander told me the only way to…Commander Crunch told me the only way to change is to change my actions and to behave like a host, and that then I wouldn't be that person that you were saying I am or I was. I needed to be of service to all of you. Then we said, wait a second…so, how long have you been here? Because then…they said, a little while before you came.
I didn’t…I guess your next question…the Crispy Commander kinda sensed you were coming but didn’t know you were…like, I didn’t know it’d be…who it would be. There were already the employees that would come and go, and they would…I couldn't help them, but I could kinda help keep…make sure that they felt like they were actually at work. I would pretend to be a customer, even. I said, wait a second…okay, so you’re here to help us and…and then we’re here, but we’re here to help you. I mean, we’re supposed to help you, so how are…you’re helping us help…or, the people before you, right? The person who couldn't be seen said, yeah, I guess. But we’re supposed to help you, though, but if you’re already changed, then we don’t really need to do any work, right?
‘Cause usually we’re trying to help the person in the film change. This is where I kinda took over, because Josie was…had a strong…the person who couldn't be seen, they would throw bikes and take people’s bikes and throw them in canals, and that’s why Josie had gone into the film and experienced what it was like. But also, Josie had a knowledge of the internal life of the invisible person. So, we kinda kept our distance. This was a blockade. But the truth was if they were saying…what they were saying was true, we could just put them back in the movie right then. I told them that and they said…and I said, but…normally we have to help somebody that works at the mall, and then somehow that gives us a clue to help you.
They said, but I’m a mall worker. We said, no, no, no, you work…you’re working at the mall; you’re not a mall worker. We said, but it’s changed a little bit as time’s gone on, but every time we still have…kinda help somebody…then we said thank you for the food, and we kinda all got a sense of like, maybe we should have a little discussion away from the person who couldn't be seen. Then they said, but I do need your help. I do work at the mall, and I get what you’re saying. Actually, I do need your help. We said, but…yeah, you’re not a mall worker, though. Then Josie said, well, what do you need our help with? Then they kinda got quiet and they said…they looked around. They even got up and checked all the cabinets in the room that were Crispy Commander-size…Commander Crunch, Crispy Commander-size cabinets.
They said, I need you to keep this a secret between us. We all said, maybe. Depends on the secret. You can't promise to keep a secret ‘til you know the secret, but if it’s keepable, we’ll keep it. They said, well, I don't know if I want your help. I want your help because I don't want your help. I don't want…I don't know if I’m ready to go back yet. I’m not fully changed. You know, they kinda went on that kinda thing. But again, there was something hollow. Maybe it was just that they couldn't be seen, but all of us sensed it and we said, okay, well…and they said…and then Josie said, you gotta be…I’ve been inside your head. You gotta be more honest. You’re not being honest with us, or fully honest. If you want to tell us a secret, tell us a secret.
They said, I’m not sure I totally trust the Crispy Commander, and I don't want…I don't think I want to become…I don't think the cereal…I don't want to go back into my movie if I become a cereal. I want to be…I want to go back and change, and if I go back…I guess I don't want to change. Or, I want to change, but I don't want to change into something else. We were like, huh, you’ve been watching us pretty closely, huh? They said, yeah, yeah, yeah. We said, but they seem pretty happy; Frankie, the mommy, and the Count Du Chocolate. They all seemed…but they got what they wanted in a different way by becoming cereal people. The person who couldn't be seen said, I don't know if that’s what I want. We said, well, maybe you don’t want it 'cause it’s unknown and unexpected.
They said, but I think I…you’re right that in my world I was not good. In my world I sowed chaos and in my world I was only focused on me. I don't want to go back to a different world and change or go back to my world kind of changed and then go to another world. We said, okay, well…huh. Then Santos got an idea and Santos said, okay, so, it sounds like we need some time here. Let’s keep…I think this is something we could keep because it’s just basically normal mistrust. We don’t trust you totally. You don’t trust the Crispy Commander. I’m not sure we do…I can't speak for everybody, San said, but I’m not sure we do anymore, either. But maybe we buy some time. Maybe this is…maybe we are supposed to help you. You do work in the mall. Josie said, well, what do you have in mind, San?
San said, let’s go to the bookstore. We said, the bookstore? Boyd said, theory and action. Interesting, interesting. We said, what do you mean, theory and action? San said, yeah, I think this is…it’s like school time. So, we said, would you come to the bookstore with us? There happened to be two bookstores at this mall, and the closest one was Whitman Books. So, we went to Whitman Books, and the person who couldn't be seen came. It was interesting 'cause only their upper body and a little bit of their lower body had tea and paste on it, but…so, they kinda looked like a floating tea bush or something. But we said, come on, we’ll go, and we’re gonna trust that you’re not gonna do anything or try to clean off your tea.
Actually, this was another idea we had while we were walking behind the person who couldn't be seen’s back. Boyd came up with this idea, too, and used a different kind of glue to put a sign on the back of the person who couldn't be seen. It did say something that…signs said, this is my bottom, more or less. This is my backside. This is the back side of water…splash the back side of water. Something like that the sign said, but it was on their back where they couldn't seen the sign. I wonder if they looked down at their belly — but it was covered in tea — they would be able to see through and see the sign…or if they stood in a mirror, the sign would just be floating? But because their body was covered in tea…I don't know. It was just an extra idea.
So, we got to the bookstore and we said, okay, San, what’s the plan now? San said, reading assignment. You’ll need to read…and we’ll go back to working at the mall, but you stay here. We’ll enter…it’s not like we’re gonna leave you, but we’ll come back and we’ll give you books to read, and you basically will give us oral reports on the books, and they’ll help establish you…Boyd was already out looking for books, so Boyd came back first with two books; Getting to Yes, and The One-Minute Salesperson. Then San already ran off and came back with two books, and they were all…the funny thing was everything was in different sections.
San’s books were books…I guess…laughing 'cause I don't know if it fits anymore, the section, but one was called The Last Barrier and the other one was The Teachings of Don Juan…and gave those to the invisible person. Then Josie was off, and Josie came back with The Handmaid’s Tale and this book, The Ways of Seeing. I guess that has some experience with my family and stuff, so I went in and got two books that I had seen around my house a lot and had seen my parents reading. One of them was called The Big Book. Another one was called Twelve and Twelve. So, I gave those to the person who couldn't be seen, who had never read any of these books. They said, I thought…and they thought…said, I thought this one’s the Bible.
We said, read those books slowly over…and then Josie said, wait a second…and meanwhile, I started looking through…and then called me over and said, go to classics and see what you can find. I’m looking through autumnal books and I’ve found something. Check classics. And then sent San to…go to the children’s books. See if there’s illustrated classics or comic classics. We said, why, why, why? It didn’t take long before I realized what I was supposed to be looking for in Classics. Well, first off, it was The Invisible Man, which…I said, okay, that’s…I pulled that out. Then I said, oh yeah…oh, that’s funny. But then I said, wait a second, what about Frankie, the Count, and the mommy? I started to look for those books, and the books were…they weren’t the original books. Then we kinda all found them at the same time in different sections of the bookstore.
So, instead of a…it was a full novel about the Count called The Count Du Chocolate, not The Count, and it told the tale of the Count Du Chocolate as the cartoon…it was a full piece of fiction almost like…nowadays people write fanfiction, right? It doesn't necessarily always come out in a paper book, but if it did come out in a paper book but it said it was classic…but it was someone writing a whole fictional novel about a cartoon figure on a cover of a cereal box…was a cereal based on them. Then there was Frankenfunk. I said, Frankenfunk? It was another full novel. Now I can't remember if there was authors or not in my memory. Or, did I even look or was it just not clear? It was a tale of a amalgamation who became…in a funk…it was…I mean, I was just paging through it, right, but the thing was that…and illustrated classics was the same thing; no mommy.
It was about this sock puppet, multi…it was, again, this character from the cereal and not the original characters. I didn’t know…but The Invisible Man was still the regular book, and we were like, what is going on here? Have things been changed? Because in every section of the bookstore, the books were changed. We’re just confused…confusing. Meanwhile though, the person who wouldn't be seen…Boyd kinda set them up at one of the employee workstations and said, we’re gonna keep you in here. We’re gonna check on you, but we’re gonna keep coming back, too. Then we’ll see how you’re doing, how you’re progressing, and that kind of stuff. Then we’ll come check on you. So, we left and we closed up the bookshop, and then we kinda had a conference of like…we sat down on one of the dried-out fountains and started to think what our next move would be.
Alright, this is Wyatt here. Sorry, I got a little interrupted there with my remembering and had to take a break, to be honest. But we were sitting there trying to come up with a plan of what to do next while the person who couldn't be seen was occupied. Now, one thing we realized was that Boyd had taken a book out of the bookstore, and it was a book…I don't know which one it was. Back then you’d have these reference books about movies. Nowadays you could just look that up on the internet. I don't know if this is Leonard Maltin’s book or somebody else’s, but a listing of all the movies. As Boyd was looking through that, we said, let’s go to the movie store where you could rent movies.
But there was also…so, we went there first but we were also like, maybe we could go to the…there was a store that sold movies and, at the time, CDs and cassette tapes, some records. So, we went there as Boyd was try…and Boyd had…it wasn’t easy looking through a big reference book. But Boyd said, yeah, in this book, the movies are changed, too. What we found when we get…went to the movie store…now, this wasn’t All Buster’s Movies, that famous movie…All Busters Movies. Did you know that in this…there was a shoe store called Buster Brown, then it got…became All Buster’s Movies. That was where everybody…when I was a kid, that’s where everybody went to get movies. You could get a free balloon, I think, too.
But we went there. Oh no, we didn’t go…no, did we go there? Was it in the mall or not? I don't know, but we went to the rent…movie rental store. Believe it or not, they didn’t really have any of those movies. They didn’t really have a big classic movie section, so we didn’t…we weren’t able to get…confirm that the movies had changed. So, then we decided to go the theatre and check on the other movie, right? Because we knew another movie was playing, another film, and maybe that was…let’s just use our time efficiently. When we got to that part of the Multiplex where we could hear a movie playing, the doors were locked, and they were locked up. We couldn't get the doors open.
So, then we were listening to the movie, and we couldn't really hear very much. We could hear some music playing, but other than that…and we…I started to believe that I knew what the movie that was playing was, and I was convinced…I said, this…what’s happening…this movie that’s playing is the metaphorical movie, the most metaphorical of the autumnal films. Everybody said…and then I said, I’m sure that’s the movie playing. Then we said, well, why do you…? We went back and forth. Why are the doors locked? What should we do? We tried getting the doors open; we couldn't do that. I was convinced and I tried to convince…but everybody else was like, I don't know. Does that movie have dialogue? I can't hear any dialogue for this movie that’s playing right now; just a lot of music, a lot of organ music.
Why would the show about…? The Jack Doctor…Jack the Doctor and the Steamed…I don't know. It was a movie about somebody that was in a bad mood…good…sometimes they’re in a bad mood; sometimes they’re in a good mood, but they change personalities, right? But no one else was…they said, well, it doesn't matter what movie it is. We can't get in there. Then we were like, I wonder if they’re in there, you know? Then something came…I think it was the locking of the door that made us realize…wait a second, so the person who can't be seen’s movie is still playing, right? And we’ve kinda entered into this world, especially after meeting the person who couldn't be seen, that…is this…?
This is work and magic, and I mean, not a magic from a magic show or magic…something about the intersection of the transverse plane means there’s stuff happening beyond our understanding. Who do you think is playing the movies? Is it magic or is someone…? ‘Cause the invisible person, the person who couldn't be seen, they never said they started the movie, and they couldn't start their own movie, right? We said, let’s go to the projectionist booth and find out. As we were headed there…now, the great news was that Josie had an older brother, and her older brother was a projectionist. But as we were walking there, talking, we were like, what happened if we stopped the movie? Would the person who can't be seen…?
You know what I mean? We said, well, we better make sure it’s a real film. Maybe it’s the kind of thing…we can't damage the film. So, we went into the projectionist booth. Now, it was locked, but because Josie’s brother worked there, Josie knew that up on the sill of the door…is that what it’s called? The doorframe. At the top of the doorframe was where they kept the keys to the projectionist booth so the projectionist would not have to get the key or carry the keys, 'cause it was…it used to be a nice job to have, but then when the Multiplex came, it was just another thing that somebody would get assigned to have to deal with and do their shift.
Also, the reason people knew the keys is because it was a place where you could…if you needed some thinking time, or let’s just say you wanted to kiss someone on the cheek or have a couple drinks when you weren’t supposed to, that was the place they did that. At least, Josie’s brother’s friends. We didn’t have a projectionist in our group of friends. So, we went into the projectionist booth and we sensed something powerful, right, the combination that we had sensed all along. There was magic, and that’s not really an accurate word. You know what I’m saying? It’s that something was happening. But so, the movie was playing, but…so, it was operating but it was also…there was something else coming off of the projection…projector, right, because it would have to change reels. It kinda looked a little bit fuzzy.
Then we were kinda like, well, maybe we should stop the projector. Then we were like, well, maybe we…it’s too bad we don’t have walkie-talkies or something, 'cause we probably should keep an eye on the person who couldn't be seen. If we stop their movie, what happens? So, we were kinda coming up with a basic plan for that, you know, of like, okay, well, maybe we’ll stop the movie. Maybe we’ll go…then how are we gonna communicate? Who’s gonna stop the movie? Should we use a stick? What happens if you come in contact with a magical projector or a projector in contact with some other…? You know what I’m saying. It was a lot of…like, we all did our own ranging around and pacing and stuff, and that’s when Santos said, hey, look; there’s a big air vent, right?
Or air duct, and there was some scraps of material hanging from the air duct. Santos said, this is purple and green and blue. This is…and Santos pulled the thing 'cause it had gotten caught of the corner of the air duct, which easily opened. Like, it could be swung open. So, the bottom screws had been removed and it was on a hinge. Santos said, this is the same…the Crispy Commander’s uniform, the same material. We all said, well, maybe, maybe. Then we said, well, who’s gonna take a look inside this duct? We pushed over some chairs, and eventually I said, okay, I’ll do it. I’ll do it. I’m fine with…boost me up. So, this was a duct close to the ceiling. Very large though, like, easily accessible by someone my size, a average seventeen to twenty-year-old.
So, I got up there and I wiggled my way in, and not far from wiggling my way in, I found some things. Because it was…the projection booth was kind of like…what are those things called? Like a photo lab or wherever you develop…oh, that’s probably…you don’t know what that is, either. The light wasn’t great. So, there was a box and there was pieces of paper and a blanket. I said, this is kinda like a cozy, little spot. Then there was a lantern and it was a battery-powered lantern. Now, back then, they had these giant lantern batteries. I turned it on, but…I was already handing the stuff out. But it kinda looked like a little, cozy hang-out. There were pens. There was crumbled-up paper. I could hear my friends; they said, come back down, come back down.
They said, this is like station…this is a stationery kit from the stationery store. So, we got…we started go…and then there was piles of letters, and some of the scrap paper was practice letters. This was Lovey Dovey. That’s actually the name of the stationery set. So, I think this store in the mall was called Sailing the Seas of Stationery…Sailing the Stationery Seas. Maybe it was Sailing the Stationery Seas. That’s kinda funny 'cause seas are rarely stationary. Stationery Sailing…Sailing the Stationery Seas? I don't know. But we started going through these love letters and…oh, Lovey Dovey; it meant that it had doves and love on it.
Lovebirds, I guess you’d say, and it said ‘Lovey Dovey’, so that’s why…something you’d do for Valentine’s Day that you’d write love letters with, but more like we, in high school, would write love letters with. Then, Josie was the first one; Josie goes, these are written by the Crispy Commander. These are Crispy Commander love letters and love poems. I said, wait a second, what? She said, yeah, these are love letters written by the Crispy Commander, Commander Crunch. We were like…suddenly we felt like…even though…we felt strange because we felt like we were in private business of unreal…a character from a cereal box in cereal commercials that had become real. We had found their way into their personal business. So, we all took a second because it was so unreal.
We kinda needed to lie around and read the poetry, but all in our own…we moved to different sections of the room and started to read through all this…these love letters and drafts. I even got out the rest of the drafts of poems. Maybe it was just 'cause we were teens or maybe it was 'cause we were reading someone else’s love letters, like reading their diary, but it was someone that was both real and unreal at the same time…that it kinda took a while, almost like…I think we even rested. I think that’s probably a good place for me to take a rest now and then I’ll get back to you with, yeah, these love letters and love poems written by the Crispy Commander, Commander Crunch. Goodnight, everybody.
[END OF RECORDING]
(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)
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