1275 – Wedding Bells | Alba Salix S1E6
Alba, Holly, and Magnus make sure the wedding bells will bore you off to dreamland.
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Episode 1275 – Wedding Bells | Alba Salix S1E6
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, by appointment of no kings or queens is this…that’s 'cause this is a crossover episode with Alba Salix. But I mean, I could…I don't know if that’s ever been a position that’s been glorified in literature or plays or tapestries. What would a tapestry of Sleep With Me podcast look like if once upon a time royalty said, oh boy, yeah, we need that dude that’s…? They say, well, first of all, no royalty has used the term ‘dude’ before. I say, well, that’s your opinion, but in my opinion, maybe they have. Okay, that…would I be…? I know what they’d call me, but it would be whatever…they’d say, bring me that…I mean, I couldn't do that 'cause I couldn't do it under pressure. Bring me that rambling…the rambling man. Ye olde rambling man, bring him to our castle.
They say, well, he’s…where is the…? Oh, he’s out pacing. That’s what he does when he’s not rambling. Now, if that’s…any of this is confusing to you or I sound confused, those are both the correct assumptions. I don't know. They’re not assumptions, actually; they’re…those are correct…astute observations. I was making…I made an assumption out of you and me, but then I realized you’re astute. Because you say, what…? You’re confused and I’m confused by you. That might mean you’re in the right place. Welcome to Sleep With Me. It’s a podcast that keeps you company and takes your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, to keep you company, to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, so that you could fall asleep.
This show is very different. It does take a few tries to get used to. If you find out you loathe the show, there’s a website — sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou — set up so you could find another sleep podcast or sleepy audio. That’s what’s on that website. But give the show a few tries just to see how it goes. That’s what most regular listeners have found. But I am glad you’re here. Structurally what we got coming up; support so paying for the show is optional, then a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, and then a bedtime story, all meant to take your mind off of stuff, keep you company, and ease you off into dreamland. So, thanks so much for coming by and thanks for making that possible, my bore-friends.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, things on your mind, like thoughts you’re thinking about about the past, the present, the future, thinking thoughts. It could be feelings related to those thoughts or that are just there, feelings that came up earlier or feelings that are anticipating. You know, whatever. Feelings; oh boy, that’s what…not what I say. Feelings; I got them. Great.
That’s definitely what I say. Feelings? Oh, great. Got them. Understand them? No. React to them? Oh, yes. But it could be feelings, it could be physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine, you could have something coming up, you could be going through something, you could work a different schedule. The reason I go through some of the stuff that might be keeping you awake is so you feel seen. Even if I didn’t list one of the things…'cause you may be saying, you don’t know, Scoots. You don’t know…and I say, I don't know. You’re right. But the second part of the thing…you don’t understand…I say, maybe I could understand or maybe I kind of can relate to how you feel, 'cause I know how it feels for me in the deep, dark night. I know how it feels for me when I can't sleep.
I know how it feels for me thinking about it, anticipating it, or being in the midst of it. I know how that feels. I know what that’s like. Even if your experience is different than mine, the good news is you’re still not alone because there’s someone listening right now who’s been through something similar, and right now they are sitting up in bed and holding a space for you, like a caring, loving space, because they know what it’s like, because they’ve been through something similar and they know how it felt for them, and they feel it for you. That’s a sense of loving welcomingness that goes well beyond this podcast somehow. They’re like, I’m glad you’re here. I really hope this podcast can help you out, too.
Now, it doesn't work for everybody but that doesn't change the fact that, I don't know, that softness is real and that person kinda hopes the podcast can work for you, and then you’ll hold that space for somebody else. It’s just that space in your heart to say, man…yeah, I know what that’s like. It’s not great, huh? I really hope something — whether it’s this podcast or something else — can help you out. That goes to the second part, which is you deserve a bedtime you could get some rest…you deserve a bedtime you don’t have to dread, that’s not full of rigmarole. You deserve a routine that kinda helps you wind down, that you could look forward to or feel neutral about, where you get the rest you need so your life is more manageable, and ideally down the road you could be flourishing, and that’s what our world really needs.
That makes our world a better place. If you’re rested, the entire world is a better place, and that is true. As much as people want to say, well, there’s one-billionth…I say, great. Thanks, but I don't need your math over here. It’s still a huge difference having one more rested person in the world. I mean, 'cause I know when I’m grouchy, the impact, it’s…talk about something to something power, which I don't…you say, my grouchiness is to the nth power when I don't get the rest I need. Even if it’s just my furrowed…the power of my furrowed brow is a curious thing. That was not a…I don't know. That’s not in a movie and Huey Lewis has never sung about it. But if Huey Lewis saw my furrowed brow, he would turn away his gaze. He would say, oh, my eyes. Anyway, that’s from…but the power…my furrowed brow has the power.
Unfortunately it’s like a shining light that’s not…you say, what is that spectrum? ‘Cause it’s not a comforting spectrum of light. So anyway, I don't know what that was about. But if you get the rest you need, it means our world’s a better place to be in. It really does, and it means your world’s a better place to be in. So, what I do is I send my voice across the deep, dark night. I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents, which means my voice is not traditionally soothing. I go off topic, I get mixed up, I forget what I was talking about, I double back, I misspeak, I stumble, I get confused…all of that for free. Free pregnant pauses; oh, boy. Unlimited…not unlimited filler words, but…I’m not…seriously, my brow’s not furrowed now.
I mean, I was furrowing my brow with the concept of furrowing my brow, but beyond that, I’m here to be here to keep you company, and this show is a bit different. It’s a podcast you just barely listen to. So, it’s kinda like elevated background noise. It’s something you just kinda barely pay attention to, like sand in your hand, a fuzzy picture, that 3D art from the nineties that never…I don't know. I don't even know what happened to that. They should mix that and QR codes together. Free…another free thing I won't get paid for and won't happen, but…you got QR codes which seem to have…I thought they were gone and now they’re pretty prevalent again. How come you don’t got 3D art…? I’m sure that’s…you could easily combine those two things, right?
Somewhere, some algorithm’s rolling its eyes at me, which is…that’s already an accomplishment. I don't know if I was the first podcaster to have those…AI roll its eyes, but I bet you some AIs have rolled their eyes at me. Never had the actual AI, Allen Iverson, roll his eyes at me, but I wouldn't…that would…talk about…I’d be pacing around with a furrowed…I’d be like, man, I just wanted Allen to smile at me. Anyway, so, what was my point there? Oh, I go off topic, I get mixed up…oh, don’t really listen to me. I’m like elevated background noise here to keep you company. But the thing is there’s no pressure to like me at all or to even like the podcast when you first get here. You probably won't.
So, if you’re new and you’re already skeptical, doubtful, irritated, that’s totally normal because this podcast is just not…the podcast isn't normal. You say, when is…? I thought this was a sleep podcast. How come you’re not talking…? You’re talking in a way that’s…but you’re not talking in that way that…there’s nothing Zen or zone about you. I say, well, you’re right about that. I’m in a zone, but maybe not the zone you’re talking about. There’s no bells. There’s no countdowns. There’s no…I mean, there could be ethereal things, but…yeah, you know what I mean. You say, this show is not traditionally soothing. I thought this was…people told me this put them to sleep…or I read a article about it or it came up in a search. What’s going on here?
I would say that’s a pretty normal…that’s a sign you could be a superfan eventually, 'cause it just takes a few tries to get used to this podcast. It’s never starting and always going. Always never getting to the point is the way it works around here. So, just see how it goes at first. But if you’re skeptical or doubtful, that’s pretty normal. It takes…even the people that support the show directly, most of them had a strong distaste for this podcast when they first got here. And I make the show. It doesn't hurt my feelings, actually. I’ve embraced it 'cause it’s just true. Now, if you’re…if it’s stronger than a distaste, where you’re like, I can't ever listen to you again, no problem. That’s what sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou is for. Other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff right on there. What else do you need to know?
Okay, a podcast you don’t really listen to…also it does not put you to sleep, believe it or not. This is a sleep podcast…been over ten years, over 1,200 episodes, I think, and it doesn't put anybody to sleep. I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep. This is a sleep podcast where there’s no pressure to fall asleep. The reason the episodes are over an hour is so you don’t have to think about when you’re gonna fall asleep. I’m gonna be here to keep you company and to tell you a story outside of yourself where you don’t really have…'cause I feel like at bedtime, what I’ve realized is there’s some storytelling going on in my head, and the stakes are high and I’m the main character. I can't quite always disengage from that. So, here I am. I’m gonna tell you a story.
You’re not gonna be involved and the story or my way of telling the story is not gonna be super interesting, but I’m gonna have the spirit of friendship or kindness, 'cause I’m just here to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company as you get ready for bed, as you drift off, as you fall asleep. I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your bore-bestie, your neigh-bore, your Borbie, your bore-bor, your bores, your bore-friend, and keep you company as you fall asleep. Let’s see, so that’s two things to know. Oh, structure of the show also throws people off, so I’ll explain the structure of the podcast. It is very intentional based on…hey, what works for the most amount of people and you can adjust it? So, most people like to listen to a ad-supported, free version of the podcast linearly.
It doesn't mean it’s the right way to listen. It’s just the way most people consume the show. So, that’s how the structure of the show is built around. It starts off with a greeting in case it’s your first time and so you feel like you’re coming back to a friend; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then I say something silly so if you’re new, you say, oh, I could check that podcast out, and if you’re a regular listener or it’s your first few times, you say, oh, okay, there’s that goofball with the creaky, dulcet tones. He doesn't know what he’s…even this one, he forgot what he forgot what he was talking about. I know I did. I did. I do; I did forget what I was talking about, and I don't even know what it was. It was something related to Alba Salix.
Oh, by appointment of the King and Queen…and…yeah, I’d say, I’m still waiting. I don't think that would happen 'cause, to be honest, I’d just be too worried. What if the King or Queen gets fed up with…? I say, can I get ten years in advance and some sort of writ of like…? I’d just…I’d probably just wait ‘til they fell asleep and then bolt for my own wellbeing, just in case. ‘Cause I say, those…at least in the movies they can have…they can…their brows can get furrowed. So, that’s what the greeting’s for, then there’s sponsor support so if you don’t want to pay for the show, you just want to listen for free or you’re not in a position to, you can do that. If you prefer a ad-free experience, you could join Sleep With Me+ or join our referral program.
Then after the support and separate from the support is the intro, which is a show within a show, and the intro’s meant to ease you into bedtime. It’s about ten or fifteen minutes of me ineffectively explaining what the podcast is. I do a different intro every episode just because my feeling is that whatever keeps us awake can adjust. So, if it was something repetitive…it’s familiar but not repetitive so that whatever parts of you — I call them my brainbots — that keep you awake and starting pointing things out or having feel…bringing up feelings, bringing up memories, thinking about the future, making beeps and blorps, that at least it’s different every time. It keeps them distracted. But the intro also serves the purpose not to put you to sleep.
It does put a percentage of listeners asleep, a small percent. There’s a small percentage of people that skip the intro, there’s some people that listen to in…or story episodes, but there’s more people that like all-intros, 'cause it is the spirit of friendship. But whatever, the intro is really here to ease you into bedtime, not so much to put you to sleep but to be a part of your bedtime routine, getting ready for bed, being in bed getting comfortable, or doing some chill activity to wind down. That’s what just…what’s been shown to work. So, that’s what the intro does; it helps ease you into bedtime.
After the intro is support, and then there will be a bedtime story. It’ll be Episode 6 from Season 1 of Alba Salix, and it’ll be told in a very lulling, soothing, indirect manner, and then there’s thank-yous at the end. So, that’s the structure of the show. That’s why I make the show. I’m really glad you’re here. I work really hard. I yearn and I strive, and so do a team of people. We really hope we can help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways we’re able to do it for you for free twice a week.
Alright everybody, this is Scoots here. This is our closure of Season 1 of Alba Salix, Episode the Sixth. I like saying that. It’s called Wedding Bells, and, yeah, I’m gonna read through it and this will be nice. You can check out Episodes 1 through 5 in our feed, and you can listen to all six episodes. Just use the link in the show notes to check out the original daytime episodes of Alba Salix. I think you find you’ll be…you’ll really enjoy listening to it during the day. This episode starts in the palace bed chamber with I, Wilhemina. I’m noticing what a pretty dress you have on, mummy. Oh, yes. I, Parabel, thank you, Wilhemina. Parabel, this is me, Wilhemina, wondering is it for the wedding? Why, yes. This is what I, Parabel, will be wearing at the wedding. Will Princess Minzy have a dress like that? No, no, no.
Princess Minzy will not have a dress like this. This one is nicer because the Queen has to have the best dress of all. Well, I guess that’s fair, My Queen. Of course it is. I mean, because Princess Minzy’s the prettiest. I’m sorry, what did you say, darling? Daddy says that Minzy will be riding a unicorn. Does he. Did you have a unicorn at your wedding, mommy? No, just regular, old horses. Oh. Was this before unicorns? Before unicorns? You know, in old-people times. What is that supposed to mean? I mean, you’re the Queen 'cause you’re married and you’re old. Isn't it past your bedtime? Now we go to the cathedral where a joyous organ piece is playing, and the minister speaks. Please follow after me.
I, Prince Bulwark, son of King Rockheart of Balgomar…I, Prince Bulwark, son of King of Rockheart of Balgomar…take thee, Princess Minzy, to be my lawful, wedded wife. I, Bulwark, take thee, Minzy, to be my lawful wedded wife. But as they’re doing their vows, we also take our attention into the audience, and part of the audience is the King and the Queen discussing things quietly. I, Gunther, King…I mean, who would have thought, two nations finding peace at last through marriage, and I believe between two young people who actually love one another. Yeah, this is I, the Queen, Parabel; who would have thought? Goodness, look at them. It takes me right back to our wedding, Parabel. Yeah, well, our wedding wasn’t quite this big, and this is just the rehearsal.
Well, Parabel, one has to put on a show for dignitaries from around the lands, you know. Of course. Now back to the front of the ceremony. I, Princess Minzy of Farloria, take thee, Prince Bulwark, to be my lawfully wedded husband, to have and hold, for better or worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish ‘til death do us part, and thereto I plight thee my troth. I’m sorry, everybody. I’m just so excited. I’ve been practicing for tomorrow. Did that without notes, if you don’t…if you didn’t notice. With this ring, I thee wed. I, Bulwark…Bulwark, I’m supposed to say that, right? With this ring, I thee wed. But our attention goes back to Parabel and Gunther. Ah, Parabel…well, I’m happy to see your darling niece is enjoying herself. Yes, as I, Gunther. I am the same. I can't imagine a sweeter, more deserving bride.
Can't you? I mean, other than yourself, of course, Parabel. Of course. Wait a second, is that the shimmer of magic I hear as the narrator? Yes, it’s Alba. Quittem elude tutus soltare. Wait a second, this is Gunther; Alba, what are you doing exactly? Oh, I’m just casting a bit of protective magic for Your Majesties. I’m noticing something smells off, if you don’t mind me saying. Yeah, I believe it’s that incense you’re waving around, Alba; this is Parabel speaking. This is Alba; this is a huge, international event and I’m here to make sure it goes well. Alba, this is Gunther; everything’s being take…the Safety Squad is being led by Mr. Crankle. That’s Dr. Crankle, Gunther. Yeah, this is Alba; I know that, but you might as well want to put people that don’t like walking jackalopes in charge of jackalopes, if you don’t mind me saying.
Alba, this is Gunther; that’s nonsense. This is Parabel; the Sorcerer General has always been…yeah, this is Alba; I could say always been very interested in acquiring resources for themselves in a non-additive manner? Since when are you a fan of his? This is Parabel; I just think he deserves a fair shake, is all. Oh, I’ll give him a fair shake. Alba, this is Gunther; can we just discuss this after the rehearsal? Okay, Gunther, this is Alba; but mark my words, there’s something happening and it’s gonna upset this wedding. This is Parabel; we can only hope so. Then the opening music sounds, and by appointment to the King and Queen, Alba Salix, Royal Physician, Episode the Sixth, Wedding Bells. Now in the palace courtyard, there’s lively chatter as Gunther and Rockheart discuss something.
Yeah, this is Gunther; Mister…Lord Rockheart, are you…? Your Magnificence, are you looking forward to the wedding tomorrow? Well, thank you, Gunther. I just…I dislike these ceremonies, you know? But I’ll be glad to see my youngest married off. He’s not exactly the brightest candle. I don't know, Prince Bulwark seems like a fine lad to me. Sharp as a hedgehog’s backside, if you don’t mind me saying. I don't know, this is Rockheart; I always think he’s littering the palace with his poetry. Terrible songs, somewhat depressing…he was coddled as a child. Well, as Gunther, I’m just happy he found love at last. Yeah, this is Rockheart; I suppose. I mean, Minzy’s a lovely girl for someone from your lands. I expect she’ll measure up. This is Gunther; what do you mean, measure up?
You know, perform, make young Bully…you know, he could get him in ship-shape. Oh, I see. This is Rockheart; she’s great. Speaking of which, that queen of yours, ho, ho, you know what I’m saying? I’m sorry, this is the Queen; I beg your pardon? Oh, sorry. I didn’t mean to…this is Rockheart; didn’t mean to…you’re very prim and proper, Parabel. I’m just one of those dudes that talk like dudes. That’s how we do it. That’s how Rockheart does it. I happen to be standing right here, Your Magnificence. Well, it’s too bad you don’t have any male heirs, Gunther. Well, we should be getting on. We’ll see you at dinner then, Your Magnificence. Indeed. Good day to you, Parabel. Well, I never…Gunther, what was up with that? You just let that dude talk like a dude? We don’t talk like that.
Dear, the man has all his non-Safety Squad safety people here, and we can't…no, he’s a bit of a…he’s a B-U-L-L-Y, I believe. It is I, Minzy; Uncle Gunther, Aunt Parabel…oh, boy. Minzy, how’s my favorite niece? Oh, I’m in such a muddle. I didn’t mean to rush ahead at the altar, but I couldn't help it. This is Parabel; anything to get it through faster. I mean, did you see Bully’s face when we got to the vows, that little thing where his lips get squinched up? I’m sure it was suitably adorable. And tomorrow we get to do it all again for real. Yes, this is Parabel; how wonderful. Well, I’m afraid I just…I’m so giggly I might just burst out with laughter. This is Parabel; please don’t do that. This is Gunther, Minzy; speaking of tomorrow, I brought you this. Oh, a necklace. Oh uncle, it’s beautiful.
Gunther, darling…it was made for your grandmother, Queen Ursula. Oh, uncle. Gunther, this is Parabel; did you just give her my necklace? Oh, uncle, I love it so much. Gunther, this is Parabel; was that the necklace from our wedding? Yeah, Parabel, it is. You haven't worn it since our wedding. I didn’t think you liked it. What does that have to do with it, Gunther? Oh, this is Minzy; thank you, Uncle G. You’re welcome, Minzy. It’ll go so nicely with my dress. It was sewn by forest friends, you know. Forest friends? That’s so perfect. Yeah, this is Parabel; too perfect. Then we go to the House of Healing where liquid’s being poured not on the floor. There’s magical flourishes. There’s pencils writing. This is Magnus observing…color; asparagus green. Oh, this is Holly; it’s a wedding day, it’s a wedding day.
Okay, this is Magnus checking black bile levels…20.3. This is Holly in poetry mode; a singing day to get married, a perfect day especially if you’re a princess or a prince. Okay, this is Magnus; yellow…72 point…Holly, do you really have to sing and be poetic while we’re working? Yes, Magnus. We fairies have music and poetry in our souls. And candyfloss in your brains. Oh, Magnus, listen to you. It’s a bright and sunny day, and tomorrow Princess Minzy will get married to the Prince of Balgomar, and you? You’re the grumpiest thing on two legs. You’re right, Holly. It’s such a beautiful day to be stuck in the office at the House of Healing, testing PP. So, what are you doing inside here, anyway? Oh, I’m brewing a cordial from the fruit of a rare gesundefat tree. Is that what all this mess in the laboratory is for?
It’s a gift for the prince and the princess. Alba will not be happy with that, Holly. It’s okay. It’s nearly finished. Oh dear, there’s the door. Speaking of Alba…hi, Alba. Holly, where were you this morning? I could have used some help with the protective spells for the Royal Family. Oh my gosh, Alba, I forgot. I’m so sorry. How many good deeds do I owe you now? I lost count at forty, and for heaven’s sake, can someone clean up this darned office? So, was the rehearsal nice? I hear there’s gonna be fountains that pour out chocolate, custard, and strawberry jam. Oh, Alba just slammed another door. I hope she’s feeling alright. It’s the wedding, Holly. But everyone loves weddings. There’s cake and flowers and cake. Yeah, Holly, that’s it. Remember? She doesn't have a happily-ever-after. Huh?
What do you mean, Magnus? Holly, don’t you remember how the King and Queen got married? Oh, no. My memories back then are a little bit foggy. Huh, that’s why I don't drink fairy drinks. Wait, so what about the King and Queen? Well, once upon a time when the King was still a prince, he got turned into a goat by a spellcaster of a green and pointed hat. Really? People came from all over the kingdom to try to turn him back. They tried magic, acupuncture, hot baths. Nothing worked. Then three sisters came to the palace. Did it work? The oldest one cast a spell, but it didn’t work. The middle sister brought a magic flower from a far-off mountain, but that didn’t work. The youngest one came over and kissed him, and he became human again. Aww, and that was Queen Parabel? Yes it was, and they got married a week later.
But the older sisters were jealous 'cause they couldn't work any special magic. I guess they must have been. Poor Alba. Well, yeah, don’t mention it to her. She’s kinda not…it gets on her not-good side. That might have been…she could have been Queen, I guess, so…oh, the door’s opening. This is Alba; Holly, did you finish brewing the liniment for Mr. Wu? Working on it, Alba. I’m so sorry about your wedding. My wedding? Oh, I mean the fact you didn’t have a wedding because you didn’t cure the King that one time, or prince, I mean, who’s now the King. Holly, I really do need that liniment. Oh, it’s okay, Alba. I totally understand. It can be tough making up for your own mistakes. I should know. Never mind. I’ll make the liniment myself. All this wedding business, it might be just a not-great reminder of the past.
Maybe you can't think clearly right now, Alba. Holly, I think you should leave the building right now before I…steam’s starting to come out my ears. Oh, but I have to filter my cordial. What cordial? Well, the one I’ve been making for the prince and princess. You talking about the orange stuff I just poured down the drain? You just what? I just threw it out, poured it down the drain. Oh, goodness, I’ve been infusing that for eleven days. Do you know how hard it was to find a ripe gestundefat fruit this time of year? Okay, listen up, Holly. I can't make proper work get done if all the equipment in my laboratory is full of vile-smelling moonshine brewed by a bumpkin fairy. Alba, that’s the meanest thing everybody…anybody has ever said to me. Well, there’s plenty more where that came from, Holly. I thought you cared.
Holly, if you don’t clear out here this very minute, I’m gonna be giving you a scolding. Well, I’m not even sorry about your non-marriage to become non-Queen. I hope the rest of your days are filled with regret and loneliness and no cake ever. I’m slamming the door. Whoa, boy. This is Magnus; some people have no tact. Back at the palace hall, Gunther and Rockheart speak yet again. This is Gunther; more wine, Your Magnificence? Don’t mind if I do. Alright, this is Gunther; I was wondering if we could get to resolving these territorial disputes over the Pointy Lands? Dispute? What do you mean, Gunther? Well, disagreement. Are you disagreeing with me, Gunther? Difference of opinion? What do you mean, opinion? We propose to hand back the Pointy Lands to Farloria. Really?
In exchange for which Balgomar will retain the rights to extract any minerals and mystical energies from the surrounding lu lines. But…no, no, no, the coast is not stable there. There’s a chance of a mystical accident. Yeah, those chances are two million percent, two million to one, or something with zeroes in it. Anyway, even if something happens, the wind heads southward from there. Right; into Farlorian territory. Well, you’re used to that kind of thing anyway. We’d also like to see the Balgomorian troops pull back from the river Twist. Oh, great. In an ideal world, of course we would. We’d withdraw them all in a heartbeat. But sadly we live in a world of…what did you call…? Geopolitical ups and downs. We need our territory…you know.
Yeah, but you’ve got your troops sitting on our border, Magnificence. They gotta sit somewhere. But don’t you have other borders? Yeah, but those are with people we don’t get along with. Right. I’m not sure I get your meaning. Well, it makes them wonder, if the Balgomorians have Safety Squads that can take out Farloria, they won't mess with us. Huh. They’d think twice about messing with us when they see how we fortify ourselves against friendly nations. Gunther, my friend, I would certainly call Balgomar and Farloria friendly nations, wouldn't you? Of course, Your Magnificence. There, in the office of the Sorcerer General, by the…this is I, Parabel; by the rose, by the fern, by the frond, by the thorn, to honey-sweet this water turn by first light of the morn.
Some magic sounds…oh boy, that’s not sounding good, though. Everything’s turning brown. Does that mean it’s working? This is Crankle; perhaps magic flower charms are not Your Majesty’s forte, either. Oh. Well, I thought flowers might help me to relax. As I’ve said before, I suspect Your Majesty’s natural predisposition is towards elemental magic. Well, could you teach me some, Dr. Crankle? Of course. Alright, Your Majesty, observe the steam from this teacup as I pour in water…I clink my cup. Yes, okay. Okay, so concentrate on the patterns the steam makes as it moves. It’s rising. Okay, and indeed, watch the currents as it rises and forms itself into a small, black cloud. Wait a second, is that a mini-thundercloud? Rain? It just broke the teacup. Oh, dear. Oh, my goodness. Was it supposed to do that?
I think it might be best to finish up Your Majesty’s lesson for the day. Well, I just don’t know what happened, Crankle. You know, I think it might be nervous tension maybe to do with the Royal Nuptials tomorrow. No, everything’s great. I mean, everyone thinks the prince and the princess are the most beautiful couple ever to walk the aisle, and Gunther’s been kind enough to go through all my closets to save me the trouble of choosing gifts. It’s truly a grand day for our kingdom, to say nothing of its new allies. Oh, yeah, allies. Those Balgomorians are no…they don’t have any respect. I’m a queen. They don’t treat me with any respect. But a queen, if Your Majesty will forgive me, was born a commoner. The Balgomorians only have respect for royal rulers. I don't like that.
Yeah, that’s…but it creates a worrying thought; if they were to consolidate their influence here in Farloria, they might decide our kingdom is better ruled by Prince Bulwark and his new bride. They would try to rule Farloria, those little twerps? I fear so, and that would be…you and Gunther would be in not-great shape if that happened. We would be in not-great shape? I mean, they did it to Lord Ponsling and the Duke of Norwexany. Oh, really? Something must be done. As you say, Your Majesty, but where to begin? Well, between you, me, and Dr. Crankle, I’m a little concerned about Princess Minzy’s ears. Uh, what? Come again? Some feel they’re too big. Isn't that the kind of thing a groom decides about?
Well, that’s what I said, but after the rehearsal I’m sure she heard some of the Balgomorian royals chatting, and they were making unfortunate comments. Large ears are bad luck, apparently? Something about rabbits? Okay, well, when you marry someone from another area, you have to deal with their belief systems, too. Oh, so, do you think there’s anything you can do for poor Minzy? Did Your Majesty have anything particular in mind? Now we’re in the palace chambers. Time has passed and Parabel and Alba are…wait a second, the princess, she’s gone to the big farm? Parabel, tell me that’s not true. Well, Alba, this is Parabel; I have to tell you. I’m afraid so. Apparently this morning or last night, she headed to the big farm.
Wait a…Parabel, I’m sorry, Gunther must be…yes, it was a unexpected trip to the big farm. I can't quite make sense of it. This is Crankle coming in; I can. I found this beside the bed, croakweed. This is Parabel; croakweed? Well, what about all your spells, Crankle? Alba? This is Alba; I don't know what to say. I think she was supposed to drink her nightly water and she must have drank croakweed by mistake. That’s the only way it could have happened, 'cause the magic would have kept anyone from giving her croakweed directly, and she couldn't have taken it directly on purpose. But where would it had have come from, anyway? Oh, that’s a good question. Where? Well, if you look closely, the bottle says ‘The House of Healing’ on it. This is Crankle; I’m just telling you what I’m seeing, Alba.
What? Alba, you don’t mean to say that you have something to do with this. Me? No, no. How could I have? You left croakweed lying around the princess? Parabel, why would I do something like that? ‘Cause you didn’t like poor Minzy. Wait a second, you loved Minzy? Maybe her wedding was too much of a reminder of how you lost your chance to marry the King. But that was years ago, Parabel. I’m quite over it, thank you. Okay, this is Crankle; the question remains, how did the princess get a bottle…accidentally get a bottle of croakweed? That’s…contains the croaks of frogs, right? Yeah, that’s a good question. How? Oh no, this is Alba; let me think about it. Into the chapel, we have Magnus, Gunther, and Alba discussing things. This is Magnus; I had no idea. She was dressed as a farm girl. I don't know who she was.
Wait a second, so…this is Gunther, Magnus; you gave this farm girl the croakweed? Well, no, no, no, I gave…I didn’t know…I don't know what croakweed is. Okay, this is Alba; did you read the label before you gave her the croakweed? No, no. I was…Holly had written something else out. I was trying to read Holly’s handwriting. This is Rockheart; the kingdom of Balgomar demands to know what kind of discipline this Alba and her assistant are gonna be under. Wait a second…whoa, this is Magnus; who are you? Yeah, this is a cause of disruption to my people and this wedding. Wait a second, this is Gunther; your people? Yeah. We demand some discipline and possibly a fine. This is Gunther; Alba’s the Royal Physician and sister to the Queen. Okay, this is Rockheart; I don't care about that.
Okay, this is Alba; everybody hold on. Your Majesty, I’m sure there’s a explanation for this. Let me do a little thinking on the princess…around the princess on this. Yeah, this is Rockheart; no, no, no, you’re gonna be trying to do some magic, I’ll wager. This is Gunther; the Royal Physician may do some thinking on this. Yeah, but what about her assistant? She might need some assistance. This is Rockheart; I say all be silent. Wait a second, this is Alba; we’re in a Romeo and Juliet situation, late…not the end of the act. This is a deep sleep, not a trip to the big farm. Wait a second, this is Gunther; you mean…? Yeah, no, she’s in a deep sleep. Yeah, but she’s very cold. I thought we checked everything. Well, I have good news; Prince Minzy’s fine. She’s just in a deep sleep right now. Oh, this is Gunther; thank heavens.
She’s in such a deep sleep there’s silver star in each of her eyes? This is Rockheart; what is that meaning? That means she didn’t take croakweed at all. Magnus, you did it. Just doing my job, boss. Okay, this is Gunther; how long is she gonna be asleep for? Well, if she drank usual-strength…about a hundred years. This is Gunther; a hundred years? Is there something we can do? The door creaks open. Bulwark comes in. Oh, no. Oh, this is Gunther; Your Highness. Bulwark, this is Rockheart; what are you doing here? Oh, Minzy, my love. This is Gunther; we have some good news and some not-good news, Your Highness. Oh, this is my beautiful shroud over the big farm. Perhance a kiss might break the smell…spell — there’s a smell in this room, too, though — and restore her from the big farm.
Your Highness, please don’t disturb things. Oh, Minzy…oh, this is Bulwark; nothing…how could this be? This is Rockheart; Bulwark, you gotta pull yourself together. This is Gunther; she’s just asleep. Sleepius deep, but her soul resides in another plane, as doth her spirit in my heart. No, no, no, this is Alba; literally, Your Highness, she’s asleep. This is Bulwark; if not our hearts together in this world, then mayhap the farm so big above in the sky…Your Highness? This is Rockheart; you gotta pull it together, kid. Oh, oh world so non-kind, oh world so non-kind, I must go and depart thus thy. Bulwark, what are you doing? I go on to farms in the sky. She’s sleeping, dude. Haven't you been listening? Sleeping? Yeah, we said that like ten times.
But maybe you’ll sleep, too, or maybe you’ll go to the big farm, and then I can take over this kingdom. This is Gunther; there’s no need for that. Oh father, please, no. This is Rockheart; I’m growing soft-headed in my old age. Hey, physician? Yes, this is Alba, Your Magnificence. Can you heal foolish kids who decide they talk too much poetry? Yeah, I can. I had to do it with Magnus. Hilarious, Alba. Now we go to the forest at night where there’s crickets and Alba and Holly. This is Holly; I can't believe she threw that away after all my work. You’d think you know a person, then you find out you’re thinking about a different person, the person who’s not nice. Not a good…definitely no Glinda the Good Witch. Even…I’m talking about that Glinda. Oh, Mr. Moth, thank you for listening to me. Holly, this is Alba; I’m looking for you.
Alba, what are you doing here? I need your help. With what? You need a bumpkin fairy to stand around while you give her a hard time? I’m sorry, Holly. I shouldn’t have done that, but you were pushing my buttons. Yeah, I know. I can't…okay, listen, I’m a bad fairy and you’re not a very good Royal Physician. Okay, Holly, how many months have you been working at the House of Healing? Three. No…eleven. Human months, you mean? Okay, we’ve done a lot together, Holly. We turned a prince into a frog, we got that cough thing, did some fifths…we’ve done a lot of positive things. Yeah, but you told Jerome not the truth. Well, I exaggerated. Okay, and then you turned two kids purple. Yeah, but that was…they thought…thanks, Holly.
Yeah, and then you chased them around, you constipated someone…okay, okay, but does that outweigh the good I’ve done, the good we’ve done for the people of this kingdom? No. But then you threw out that cordial I’ve been brewing for a week and a half. I know. I’m sorry, Holly. Now I’ve got nothing to give the prince and the princess. Nonsense, Holly. You’re a fairy. What does that have to do with it? They’re a young, soon-to-be-married couple. So? Well, they might need…they might be having children. Then they would need a fairy helping them as they grow up. Wait a second, you mean from me? Yeah, you’re getting the idea. You think I could be a fairy godmother? Why not? Watch over their children, impart wisdom, make beautiful clothes for the ball?
The word of a fairy would be a gift more precious than any potion. Oh, you’re so right. Oh my goodness, thank you, Alba. I can't wait to tell the prince and the princess. Okay, but that’s where I need your help. Something came up with Minzy. What? Well, she’s in a deep, deep sleep and we have to wake her up. Okay, what do we need? Then in the chapel, a cauldron’s bubbling. Alba and Magnus and Holly are working. This is Alba; I need one coffee bean. Magnus; this is one coffee bean. Plippity-plop. Alba, I need a feather from a early bird. This is Holly; one feather. I need the first rays of dawn captured in amber. Here you go, the sound of glowing. I need a tear from the princess. Coming right up. There’s one drop of tears. Wait a second, we might need a second tear.
Okay. I need the crow of a rooster. Cock-a-doodle-doo, this is Holly; I got it right here. Okay, this is Magnus; and here’s another tear. I need smelling salts from the Stinking Sea of Stank. Oh my goodness; this is Holly right here covering my nose. Alright, I need a whisker from a cat who has trodded on someone’s privates every morning for twenty years. Here you go, here’s a whisker from Mittens. Okay, almost ready, Alba. Sugamuset a amus…poof, and magic…a bell in reverse. Wow, that’s powerful. Yeah, that would be the smelling salts, Holly. If this doesn't wake her up, nothing will. Okay, this is Alba; open her mouth. Yeah, this is Magnus; you got it. That’s the sound of magic pouring. This is Minzy; oh, dear. Ew, gross, what is that? Your Highness, don’t try to sit up yet. Oh, goodness, where am I? It is I, Bulwark. Is this true? Is it?
Oh, my prince. I was afraid you would sleep forever. Oh darling, your tunic’s all cut up. Are you alright? Well, I thought you had gone to the big farm, my love. I was quite upset. Oh wow, because of me? Yes. Well, that’s a bit silly. What if I was just sleeping? You were, my love. Well, then it was very silly of you. Well, I am silly, aren’t I? You are such a silly. Because I’m your silly. Ah, my big silly, silly, Prince Billy…Bully…Billy…Bully. That’s funny, huh? Oh, Minzy, you have the dearest smile. My only sorrow is I cannot see it and kiss you at the same time. Maybe you could paint a picture? Now, that would…a silly picture? Oh, yes. This is Holly; this is the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. Okay, this is Magnus; please pardon me while I get outta here. Yeah, this is Alba; I’m outta here, too.
Back at the palace courtyard, Gunther, Minzy, Alba, Crankle hold court. This is Gunther; are we all set? Is everyone ready? Hey, here I am, Uncle Gunther. It’s me, Minzy. Yeah, this is Alba; bride’s ready to go. Groom getting ready, changing their clothes, and I have my whole team on-hand. Ah, this is Crankle, Your Majesty. Yes, Mr. Crankle? Dr. Crankle. You know what? I did some analysis. It was cloakweed, not croakweed. Somebody mislabelled the bottle. It doesn't look good. Alba can't even keep her bottles labelled correctly. Okay, that’s Holly’s handwriting. Holly’s handwriting aside, we don’t know why Princess Minzy took the croakweed or cloakweed. This is Gunther; that’s true, Minzy. What were you looking for, cloakweed or croakweed?
Oh, it was…I heard from somebody that big ears were bad luck. This is Crankle; that’s not true, though. This is Gunther; who told you that, Prince Bulwark? Oh, no, no, it was Auntie Parabel. This is Gunther; Parabel? Ah, yes, darling, I’m coming, I’m coming. This is Gunther; Minzy told…you told her to take croakweed? Yeah, that’s what she said. She said it was the only thing that would help with my ears. Well, yeah, yeah, it was her ears, you know. I heard Prince Bully’s family whispering about her ears. This is Gunther; her ears. Yeah, in Balgomoria they call it ‘bad rabbit’ or something. This is Parabel; I was told that croakweed would shrink them. Told by whom? This is Parabel; it was Crankle. He specifically told me to recommend it. This is Crankle; I…Crankle, explain yourself.
Your Majesty, I did no such thing; this is Crankle. Okay, please suggest you didn’t tell my niece, the Princess of Mediocria, to take something to shrink her ears. Your Majesty, I did nothing of the sort. It was the Queen, the jealous…the fickle queen. I’m sorry, what? Gunther, this is Parabel; don’t listen to him. It was him, him and Minzy. Alba was right. He’s trying to take over the kingdom. Really. Gunther, you can't possibly believe I would want your niece to sleep through a wedding. Of course not, my dear. This is Parabel; take Crankle away. Well, Crankle, before everybody comes to take you away…Your Majesty, I protest. Clearly this is a case of…hey, look over there. Apodi das cane…poof. Oh boy, he’s gone. He turned into a poof. Okay, this is Gunther; find Crankle. Check his office.
This is Alba; you’re not gonna find anything. This is Gunther; what do you mean, he’s gone, then? I don't know, but I’m certain this isn't the last we’ve heard of Hilbard Crankle. Now, back at the House of Healing is Holly and Alba. Good morning, Alba. Good morning, Holly. Good morning, Magnus. Gee, you’re chipper. Are you feeling okay? Never better. See, Magnus? A royal wedding lifts everyone’s spirits, as does the chance I told…to say ‘I told you so’ to the King and the Queen. That’s what making me, Alba, smile. Alba, aren’t you worried, though? Crankle’s running around somewhere and he’s gonna have a grudge for you. Yeah, Magnus, this is Alba; but he’ll be biding his time before he does something and when he does, I’ll be ready.
But Alba, this is Magnus; maybe you should teach me some magic. Magic Magnus, you know. In case you come back, I could be helpful. Magnus, I told you I’d teach you some magnet…I mean magic as soon as we’re done getting our records back in order. Alba, this is Magnus; have you looked at our patient records lately? Yeah, what about them? Didn’t you notice anything different? Well, I thought it would seem a bit easier finding everything. Right? When did you get this done? Oh, between my other seven hundred chores. So, how about it? Those patient records are already organized. How about some magic training?
This is Holly, Alba…okay, this is…okay, I think you’ve earned a lesson or two, Magnus. Aww, yeah. Okay, I’ll tell you what. Go find a bottle of fireweed oil and a box of thumb tacks and meet me in the library. You got it, boss. Let me just check Magnus’ work. Wait a second, Alba, these aren’t in alphabetical order and the patient names aren’t even real. Yeah, it looks like Magnus enchanted my pen and had it re-label everything. So, are you gonna really teach Magnus magic, Alba? No, but I’m gonna teach him a lesson or two. With that, we close on Season 1, Episode 6 of Alba Salix, Royal Physician. We’ll be back soon with Season 2. Goodnight, everybody.
[END OF RECORDING]
(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)
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Alba Salix
Huey Lewis
https://www.pastemagazine.com/music/huey-lewis-the-news/huey-lewis-the-news-sports-at-40
https://screenrant.com/back-future-movie-huey-lewis-news-cameo-explained/
Wedding Trends
https://www.vogue.com/article/wedding-trends-2024
https://www.theknot.com/content/new-wedding-trends
https://www.marthastewart.com/wedding-trends-2024-8425281
Fairy Godmother
https://hollowtreetales.wordpress.com/2009/10/08/thursday-myths-legends-101-fairy-godmothers/
https://britishfairies.wordpress.com/2020/03/29/fairy-godmothers-the-folklore-evidence/
https://snowwhitewrites.com/fairy-godmothers-review/
Witch Potion Ingredients
https://www.dictionary.com/e/witch-ingredients/
https://hobbylark.com/writing/potion-and-spell-ingredients
DOWN TO BUSINESS
By appointment of no kings or queens
A Sleep With Me tapestry
No royal has ever said, “Dude”
Ye Olde Rambling Man
Deep Dark Night United
n/a
PLUGS
Alba Salix; Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline
SPONSORS
Claritin; Helix Sleep; Odoo; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive
INTRO
Feelings: Oh Boy
I got ‘em? Yes. I understand ‘em? No way.
Holding space in your heart for someone else
You deserve absolutely no rigamarole
Thanks, but I don’t need your math over here
Something to Something Power
My grouchiness is to the nth degree
If Huey Lewis saw my furrowed brow, he’d avert his gaze
Unfortunately, my furrowed brow shines in an uncomfortable spectrum of light
Like sand in your hand
3D Art from the 90s
QR Codes seem to have stuck around
Why don’t I combine 3D art and QR codes?
AI has definitely rolled its eyes at me
I would not be ok if Allen Iverson rolled his eyes at me
I’m in the zone but not the zone you’re thinking of
Always Never Getting to the Point
I’m just here to keep you company
I want the stakes to be the opposite of high
The Spirit of Friendship
Operating by honor of the king or queen would be way too stressful for me
Episode 6 of Alba Salix
STORY
It’s the closure of Season 1, episode the 6th
Wedding Bells
I think you’ll really enjoy the regular, daytime episodes of the show
Wilhemina compliments Parabel on her dress
The Queen has to have the best dress of all
Mimzy is the prettiest and will be riding a unicorn
The Queen didn’t have a unicorn at her wedding because she’s old…
A joyous organ piece plays at the wedding
Prince Bulwark marries Princess Mimzy
Our attention goes to the audience, where the king and queen are talking
A political AND love-filled marriage
This is just the rehearsal but they’re so excited
I can’t imagine a sweet, more deserving bride
Parabel is grumbling
Alba is casting some protective magic for the ceremony
Dr. Krankel is leading the safety squad
Alba doesn’t trust Krankel
Parabel defends Krankel
Acquiring Resources in a Non-Additive Manner
Parabel hopes this wedding is disrupted
Gunther and the groom’s father Rockart discuss
Sharp as a Hedgehog’s Backside
Bulwark is too poetic and coddled, according to his father
Gunther is defensive of Mimzy
Rockart hits on Parabel
Rockart is just one of the dudes that talks like dudes
We don’t talk like dudes in this kingdom!
Rockart is a bit of a B-U-L-L-Y
Mimzy is so giggly and excited
Gunther gives Mimzy a family heirloom necklace
Parabel doesn’t want her necklace given away!
Forest Friends sewed Mimzy’s dress
Liquid is being poured at the House of Healing
Color: Asparagus Green
Magnus is checking black bile levels
Holly is so excited for the wedding
Fairies have music in their souls
Holly is brewing a special fruit cordial
Alba won’t be happy with this mess
Holly forgot to do protective spells for the wedding
Alba doesn’t have a happily ever after
Once upon a time, the King was turned into a goat
3 Sisters arrived at the palace
Alba wishes she’d been able to marry the King
Holly tries to connect to Alba, but she doesn’t want any part of it
Alba accidentally threw away Holly’s cordial
Alba is being very mean to Holly
Holly hopes Alba just lives with regret from hereon out
Gunther and Rockart try to resolve some territorial disputes
Rockart is bullying Gunther
Geopolitical Ups and Downs
Balgomar and Farloria are friendly…right?
In the office of the Sorcerer General
Those magical sounds don’t sound good
Parabel’s magic isn’t quite working out
Is that a mini thunder cloud made of tea steam?
Parabel seems tense about the wedding
Parabel doesn’t get any respect
Balgamor doesn’t respect commoner queens
Will Balgamor try to take over their kingdom?
Mimzy’s large ears are bad luck?
Parabel wants to shrink Mimzy’s ears
The princess went to the big farm????
Alba and Parabel talk
Krankel found croakweed by the princess’s bed
The magic would’ve kept anyone from giving her croakweed purposely
This croakweed came from…the House of Healing??
Parabel frames Alba
How did the princess get this croakweed?
Magnus accidentally gave her the croakweed!
Rockard demands punishment for Alba
Alba tries to sort this all out
This is a deep sleep, not a trip to the Big Farm
A silver star in each of her eyes
She didn’t take croakweed!
Magnus helped Alba figure it out
Mimzy will be asleep for a hundred years
Bulwark is so upset
Bulwark is way too poetically upset
Oh World So Non Kind
Rockart is happy if this means he can take over the kingdom
Curing kids that talk too much poetry
Cut to the forest at night
Holly is still upset about the cordial
She’s definitely no Glinda the Good Witch
Alba asks Holly for her help and apologizes
Holly can still give a gift
She could be the fairy godmother to the prince and princess’s new child!
Alba, Holly, and Magnus team up to brew a potion in the church
A very special recipe
The Sound of Magic Pouring
Mimzy wakes up!
Big Silly Billy Prince Bully
This might be the cutest reunion ever seen
Preparing for the real deal wedding
It was cloakweed, not croakweed
We still don’t know why Mimzy took it
Mimzy heard that croakweed would shrink her ears
Parabel told her to take croakweed!!
Parabel says Krankel told her
Who’s fault is this?
The jealous and fickle Queen
Parabel tells them to take Krankel away
Krankel poofs away before he can be taken away
This isn’t the last we’ve heard of Helbard Krankel
Waking up chipper the next morning
Alba gets to say I Told You So
Krankel will bide his time, but Alba will be ready
Magnus organized all the patient records for Alba
Magnus wants to learn magic
Ok, Alba will teach Magnus some magic
Wait, these files aren’t organized at all!
Alba will just teach Magnus a lesson, after all
SWM+ THANKS
Cass, Heather, Casey, Marta, Janice, Ryan, Michael, Barry, Michael, Carl, Natasha, Layla, Ellie, Olivia, Katie, Joana, John, Ellen, Taylor, Bo, Katy, Annemarie, Lori, Lisa, Raquelle, Hannah, Scott, Oscar, Danny, Rebecca
SUMMARY:
Episode: 1275
Title: Wedding Bells | Alba Salix S1E6
Deep Dark Night United: n/a
Plugs: Alba Salix; Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline
Sponsors: Claritin; Helix Sleep; Odoo; Air Doctor Pro; Zocdoc; Progressive
SWM+ Thanks: Cass, Heather, Casey, Marta, Janice, Ryan, Michael, Barry, Michael, Carl, Natasha, Layla, Ellie, Olivia, Katie, Joana, John, Ellen, Taylor, Bo, Katy, Annemarie, Lori, Lisa, Raquelle, Hannah, Scott, Oscar, Danny, Rebecca
Notable Language:
- Feelings: Oh Boy
- AI Eye Roll
- Acquiring Resources in a Non-Additive Manner
- B-U-L-L-Y
- Suitably Adorable
- Geopolitical Ups and Downs
- A Romeo and Juliet Situation
- Oh World So Non Kind
- The Sound of Magic Pouring
- Big Silly Billy Prince Bully
Notable Culture:
- Alba Salix
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- Huey Lewis
- Allen Iverson
- Romeo and Juliet
- The Wizard of Oz
Notable Talking Points:
- Feelings: Oh Boy
- I got ‘em? Yes. I understand ‘em? No way.
- Holding space in your heart for someone else
- You deserve absolutely no rigamarole
- Thanks, but I don’t need your math over here
- Something to Something Power
- My grouchiness is to the nth degree
- If Huey Lewis saw my furrowed brow, he’d avert his gaze
- Unfortunately, my furrowed brow shines in an uncomfortable spectrum of light
- Like sand in your hand
- 3D Art from the 90s
- QR Codes seem to have stuck around
- Why don’t I combine 3D art and QR codes?
- AI has definitely rolled its eyes at me
- I would not be ok if Allen Iverson rolled his eyes at me
- I’m in the zone but not the zone you’re thinking of
- Always Never Getting to the Point
- I’m just here to keep you company
- I want the stakes to be the opposite of high
- The Spirit of Friendship
- Operating by honor of the king or queen would be way too stressful for me
- Episode 6 of Alba Salix
- It’s the closure of Season 1, episode the 6th
- Wedding Bells
- I think you’ll really enjoy the regular, daytime episodes of the show
- Wilhemina compliments Parabel on her dress
- The Queen has to have the best dress of all
- Mimzy is the prettiest and will be riding a unicorn
- The Queen didn’t have a unicorn at her wedding because she’s old…
- A joyous organ piece plays at the wedding
- Prince Bulwark marries Princess Mimzy
- Our attention goes to the audience, where the king and queen are talking
- A political AND love-filled marriage
- This is just the rehearsal but they’re so excited
- I can’t imagine a sweet, more deserving bride
- Parabel is grumbling
- Alba is casting some protective magic for the ceremony
- Dr. Krankel is leading the safety squad
- Alba doesn’t trust Krankel
- Parabel defends Krankel
- Acquiring Resources in a Non-Additive Manner
- Parabel hopes this wedding is disrupted
- Gunther and the groom’s father Rockart discuss
- Sharp as a Hedgehog’s Backside
- Bulwark is too poetic and coddled, according to his father
- Gunther is defensive of Mimzy
- Rockart hits on Parabel
- Rockart is just one of the dudes that talks like dudes
- We don’t talk like dudes in this kingdom!
- Rockart is a bit of a B-U-L-L-Y
- Mimzy is so giggly and excited
- Gunther gives Mimzy a family heirloom necklace
- Parabel doesn’t want her necklace given away!
- Forest Friends sewed Mimzy’s dress
- Liquid is being poured at the House of Healing
- Color: Asparagus Green
- Magnus is checking black bile levels
- Holly is so excited for the wedding
- Fairies have music in their souls
- Holly is brewing a special fruit cordial
- Alba won’t be happy with this mess
- Holly forgot to do protective spells for the wedding
- Alba doesn’t have a happily ever after
- Once upon a time, the King was turned into a goat
- 3 Sisters arrived at the palace
- Alba wishes she’d been able to marry the King
- Holly tries to connect to Alba, but she doesn’t want any part of it
- Alba accidentally threw away Holly’s cordial
- Alba is being very mean to Holly
- Holly hopes Alba just lives with regret from hereon out
- Gunther and Rockart try to resolve some territorial disputes
- Rockart is bullying Gunther
- Geopolitical Ups and Downs
- Balgomar and Farloria are friendly…right?
- In the office of the Sorcerer General
- Those magical sounds don’t sound good
- Parabel’s magic isn’t quite working out
- Is that a mini thunder cloud made of tea steam?
- Parabel seems tense about the wedding
- Parabel doesn’t get any respect
- Balgamor doesn’t respect commoner queens
- Will Balgamor try to take over their kingdom?
- Mimzy’s large ears are bad luck?
- Parabel wants to shrink Mimzy’s ears
- The princess went to the big farm????
- Alba and Parabel talk
- Krankel found croakweed by the princess’s bed
- The magic would’ve kept anyone from giving her croakweed purposely
- This croakweed came from…the House of Healing??
- Parabel frames Alba
- How did the princess get this croakweed?
- Magnus accidentally gave her the croakweed!
- Rockard demands punishment for Alba
- Alba tries to sort this all out
- This is a deep sleep, not a trip to the Big Farm
- A silver star in each of her eyes
- She didn’t take croakweed!
- Magnus helped Alba figure it out
- Mimzy will be asleep for a hundred years
- Bulwark is so upset
- Bulwark is way too poetically upset
- Oh World So Non Kind
- Rockart is happy if this means he can take over the kingdom
- Curing kids that talk too much poetry
- Cut to the forest at night
- Holly is still upset about the cordial
- She’s definitely no Glinda the Good Witch
- Alba asks Holly for her help and apologizes
- Holly can still give a gift
- She could be the fairy godmother to the prince and princess’s new child!
- Alba, Holly, and Magnus team up to brew a potion in the church
- A very special recipe
- The Sound of Magic Pouring
- Mimzy wakes up!
- Big Silly Billy Prince Bully
- This might be the cutest reunion ever seen
- Preparing for the real deal wedding
- It was cloakweed, not croakweed
- We still don’t know why Mimzy took it
- Mimzy heard that croakweed would shrink her ears
- Parabel told her to take croakweed!!
- Parabel says Krankel told her
- Who’s fault is this?
- The jealous and fickle Queen
- Parabel tells them to take Krankel away
- Krankel poofs away before he can be taken away
- This isn’t the last we’ve heard of Helbard Krankel
- Waking up chipper the next morning
- Alba gets to say I Told You So
- Krankel will bide his time, but Alba will be ready
- Magnus organized all the patient records for Alba
- Magnus wants to learn magic
- Ok, Alba will teach Magnus some magic
- Wait, these files aren’t organized at all!
- Alba will just teach Magnus a lesson, after all