1262 – Julie Childs’ Count | Multiplex Ep8
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Episode 1262 – Julie Childs' Count | Multiplex Ep8
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who’s here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. It’s time for a silly friend who’s in stripes right now. Believe it or not, I’m in stripes. I was trying to think of something silly and I said, you just said ‘silly friend’, but you don’t have anything really silly going on. Then I said, I’m in stripes, right? Striped pajamas. Bedtime comes and I want to go to bed. There goes Scoots in his striped pajamas. They’re actually not pajamas; they’re repurposed clothing made into…I mean, clothes I wear as pajamas, but I guess it’s technically not pajamas because I don't wear them to bed but I wear them when I say, alright, I’m not leaving the house again, and later I’ll get in bed in these…I mean, whatever.
I don't need to talk about when I’m in less than pajamas. That’s for Sleep…that’s Sleep With Me After Dark that’s never been launched before. But yeah, Alex, maybe I’ll explain more in the intro, 'cause this is going on and on and on. It’s not anything super interesting, either. By the way, if you fall asleep during it, don't worry; it’s not like my pajamas are gonna be revealed to be made of, I don't know, some sort of interest…of anything interesting. So, I’ll just tell you now; they’re sweat…one is called…well, they’re sweatpants to me, but I think when I bought them they were called ‘active pants’ or something. The striped one is amazingly enough…what do they call that? A thermal layer, it…an extra-thick one. I love it.
It’s my favorite wintertime pajama shirt that’s not a pajama. Long sleeves and it’s striped, black and gray stripes…oh boy, breaking news; Sleep…if you’re new, this is…welcome. This is Sleep With Me. It’s a podcast to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company so you fall…can fall asleep, to be more like a friend talking to you so that you could drift off. It is very different, so give the show a few tries if you wish. That’s just what most people that are regular listeners have said over the years; oh, at first I didn’t get it or…are you talking about pajamas? I thought this was a sleep pod…that’s a normal reaction. Striped…repurposed pajamas? Is that an…could that be an industry? Are you an influencer in repurposed pajamas? I’d say, sadly I’m not.
There’s probably something do…there’s probably plenty of people doing incredible things; repurposed Underoo pillows, probably, or a stuffed pet…plush plush, or who knows…whatever, some sort of keepsake. But anyway, alls I can do is talk about my pajamas that aren’t really pajamas on more than one level to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company. So, I’m glad you’re here. Regular listeners, so glad you’re here. We haven’t talked…I don't know if I’ve talked about my…these…technically, seasonally my favorite pajama shirt.
The pants…the only advantage to the pants I have…one, unintentionally, they match my top, and two, I could…when I walk the dog…if my daughter was to see me in this outfit, she wouldn't be totally…I mean, she doesn't get embarrassed by me anymore or ever, but people don’t honk at me and say, it looks like you’ve lost your way or something, 'cause they’re just normal active…the active pant or something. I don't know. So, anyway, that’s it. I’m glad you’re here. Give the show a few tries if you’re new. Structurally what we got coming out; we got the sponsor support so you could listen free, then…that’s just a few minutes, then there’s a long, meandering intro afterwards that meant to ease you into bedtime. Then there will be a bedtime story later on. Yeah, I’m glad you’re here, and I really appreciate you checking the show out, and thanks for making it possible, my bore-friends.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether that’s thoughts on your mind, things you’re thinking about about the past, the present, the future, whether it’s anything you’re feeling, anything coming up for you emotionally whether it’s related to those thoughts or something else, emotions that are just there or have been there or just coming up, bubbling up to the surface of whatever, it could be physical sensations.
I just talked to a friend who…their lack of sleep was because of physical sensations in their shoulder, and it had been an ongoing thing. We talked about it a lot because it’s not easy, and that’s just one of the things that people don’t talk about as much, and even here, I try to talk about it indirectly. But yeah, man, and…it’s just really tough. That’s another thing that just doesn't…that keeps a lot of people awake and is not easy, and I’m here to take your mind off of it and keep you company. It could be any other…a myriad of different things keep listeners awake, but the only reason I bring up the myriad of things whether it’s temporary or transitory or you’ve been dealing with it for a long time is so you know you’re not alone. I’m here to help you.
Even if I’m not experiencing the same thing you are, there’s a strong possibility I could relate to how you feel, but even if I can't relate, there’s someone listening who can relate to how you feel that has been through something similar, and they care, too. They literally…and I hope you become a regular listener and then you get to send out these…this is true, and I’m not usually a person who would be described as woo-woo, but I will say ‘woo-woo’ in this case in a positive way, because that person’s caring about you, knowing what you’re going through. They are sending something across the deep, dark night for you. They are glad you’re here, 'cause they found relief here or distraction here or someone to keep them company so they could fall asleep.
So, they’re glad you’re here and they know what you’ve been through and they can relate to it, or they know what it was like for them. You know what I’m saying, and that’s the most important thing I’ll say this whole show. I’m glad you’re here and I hope this show can help you, because you deserve a good night's sleep. You deserve a place you could get some rest where your sleep doesn't come…where it’s not a rigmarole, like a bedtime you could look forward to or at least feel neutral about. Yeah, so, that’s…yeah, it’s important because if you get the rest you need, your life is more manageable. Ideally you could get the rest you need on a regular basis and be out there flourishing. So, that’s why I make the show. What I do is I send my voice across the deep, dark night.
I use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents. So, I go off topic, I get mixed up, I forget what I was talking about, then I’m like, wait, what was I talking about? Was I talking about pajamas? Have I talked about them enough? Probably not. I’m really cozy in them, too, by the way. I mean, that’s probably why it’s on my mind. Also, I just noticed the stripes 'cause I was saying something silly, and then I said, what is something silly I could talk about without forcing the silliness? I said, you’re wearing striped pajamas. Then the silliness came naturally out of that, 'cause part of my brain’s like, technically they’re not pajamas. I’d say, well, I wear them as pajamas. No you don’t, because pajamas are something…I said, oh yeah, I don't wear them in bed.
Occasionally I will if it’s cold enough, for about five minutes. But yeah, I need to be…I have a tiny amount of clothing on in bed. This is already too much, but…which is…I don't know, I just need to…I don't know. Let’s just move on. You’re right. But right now, I am clothed. I’ve got socks on. I’ve got these sweatpants on. They’re gray. Believe it or not…this is how lucky I am that we get to work with sponsors and stuff like this. Whatever, the pants I’m wearing or sweatpants, I’m calling them, active pant, it’s from a sponsor from a long time ago. I still wear them. I still love them. The top is not. It’s from a big company that has ‘uni’ in the title of it. I found these probably on clearance. I have two…ones that are thin layer, a gray one and a striped blue-and-black one that is not appealing but very comfortable, and then this gray one is a thicker one.
I think it’s from thermal stuff, thermal undershirt, but it is…it’s great. What was my point? Oh, I’m making a sleep podcast. So, I send my…oh, lulling, soothing tones, pointless menaders, and superfluous tangents means what you just saw. I’ll try to talk about one thing, then I’ll get distracted and go off topic for a while, and I won't say anything important. But yeah, and then I’ll put in some filler words by accident, and then I’ll try to return to describing what the show is. Creaky, dulcet tones means my voice is not traditionally soothing, but I am here…I don't know, I’m here…I’m not…that’s the first thing that kinda I try to point out when…halfway through the intro, is that this is a podcast you don’t necessarily listen to even in the genre of sleep podcasts.
Even when I came up with the idea of…why aren’t there podcasts to help grown-ups fall asleep? Even then, Sleep With Me was not exactly made to be listened to. It was kinda made to be barely listened to, just like if you had a friend. Like, let’s say you have a roommate that talks a lot but your roommate was cool with talking and you were…you could talk all you want. I’m gonna barely…I’ll barely listen to you. At some point I will fall asleep. If you’re fine with that, that’s gonna work…or listening to a sitcom on in the other room or calling someone or something else that’s somewhat engaging, but that there’s no pressure on your end to pay attention, or no FOMO. Sleep With Me really…I hear from a lot of listeners and they say, I wish…I thought you said something silly and then I forgot what it was. Then I…?
Then I asked at breakfast, and they said, I have no idea. I think he was saying he wears socks occasionally. Oh, that sounds like Scoots. Oh boy, he made a intro about wear socks? No, but I’m pretty sure he’s made a intro about S-O-C-K-Ss before. You say, what does that mean? I say, I don't know. It’s just vaguely in his mind, I think from an infomercial. Okay, well, I slept great last night. So, it’s a podcast that’s just out of focus. You can…you could listen to it. You can listen to it, but there’s no pressure to listen to it. I’ll just be almost barely entertaining, ideally. That’s one thing to know. The other thing to know is there’s no pressure to fall asleep with this show. That’s the reason the podcast is over an hour, so you don’t feel any pressure to fall asleep.
You know I’m gonna be here keeping you company whether you’re awake or asleep. I’m gonna be here to the very end 'cause there are people listening who can't sleep at all, and I’m here to keep them company…whether you’re awake or asleep. Or, people that need a break during the day listen. So, that’s kinda my job here, is to do that. What I’ll do is just go on and on and on and try to distract you, to be your bore-friend, your bore-sib, your bore-bae, your bore-bud, your bore-bestie, your bores, your Borbie, your bore-bruh, your bore-friend, your neigh-bore, your friend in the deep, dark night to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff. What else do you need to know? Oh, I forgot to mention; there’s a website, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou.
So, if you already know this show isn’t gonna work for you and you just don’t like it or you just don’t like me or you don’t want to give it two or three tries…I mean, I would say just give it two or three tries…well, definitely if you don’t strong…if you have a strong distaste for me already, you don’t need to do that. But yeah, you could check out sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. That has other sleep podcasts and sleepy stuff on there you could check out. What I’ll do is keep you company. ‘Cause most people get here…you’re skeptical, you’re doubtful, you’re fed up, you can't sleep, then you hear about a sleep podcast. What’s that? How’s that…how could that possibly help me? Legitimate questions, right? I don't know if I have a great answer. This is a…this show, yeah, it’s a bit different and you gotta see if it works.
Give it a few tries and see how it goes. That’s just what most people’s experience is. ‘Cause you’re all…when is this gonna get…when is it gonna get sleepy again? Are you gonna be counting down from a hundred or ninety-nine or ten? I say, well, I’d…I wouldn’t be…I don't know if I’d be good at any of those, but…I’ve probably done that before, but I can't remember. So, I’m just doing this in my…today, I’m recording this in my pajamas, so it’s gonna be extra cozy. I’ve also talked about…every once in a while I come up with great names. I think we…do we know a Cozy? Is that one of the dogs I’ve dog-sat once, is Cozy? Does anybody know? I know whose dog it is because she was just in a robotics competition and…but is that…is their dog Cozy? I know Cozy is a pretty good name for a pet, I think, or I guess…is there a town called Cozy?
If Jessica Fletcher decided she didn’t want to solve mysteries anymore, would she move to a town…? Cabot Cove sounds pretty…it’s got that ‘cove’ in there. I’d say, oh, that sounds pretty good. Cozy and Cabot Cove, you know? That could be…she could have a sleep podcast. But, A Town Called Cozy…well, I’m not…yeah, what else you got? Nothing? It’s so cozy. Nothing’s going on. Is it a sleepy town? Well, at bedtime it is, or naptime, a siesta time, but it’s just cozy here. Well, what’s the difference between cozy…? I mean, come on, we can't just give it away. You gotta come here and visit. Come and find out for yourself. Come see the Cozy, what puts the ‘coz’ and ‘z’ in cozy. We don’t need to advertise. It’s a town called Cozy. Oh, a tea cozy, right? Is that another thing that…? I gotta get back to this podcast, though.
Man, I’m packing my bags for Cozy. Yeah, I’m leaving on a jet plane, going to Cozy to get cozy. I mean, I would be…they’d be like, what happened to Scooter? Well, he was…he couldn't sit still. He went to the town of Cozy. But everywhere he goes, he brings himself with him, so he was unable to sit still in Cozy, and he violated the three principles of the town of Cozy that are right on the thing…population…these are the three principles of the town of Cozy. Please abide. He couldn't…it just wasn’t a good fit. Pretty ironic, you know? He’s a sleep podcaster. He invented the town of Cozy and he just couldn't make it work there. So, he went back, and unfortunately he had sold his pseudo-pajamas that…he just thought of another term. ‘Cause I guess that’s what I’m wearing.
I mean, I needed some linguist to let me know about this, but am I wearing pseudo-pajamas? I don't know, 'cause I don't know what a pseudo…that just sounds like something I would say…it used to be something I would say when I tried to sound smart, but so many people excused themselves to use the restroom that I’ve stopped trying to sound smart. I say, well, that sounds like a case of pseudo-pajamas to me. Excuse me, I’ve gotta check in for a flight. Oh, okay. That was another thing that happened to me in Cozy. I said, I can't be cozy here. Oh, but I can tell you about this sleep podcast. So, if you’re skeptical or doubtful, give it a few tries. See how it goes.
The only other thing I like to point out in the intros is the structure of the show, because the structure of the show is very intentional and, yeah, it…I’ll just explain it to you 'cause it does make a lot of new people…it furrows their brow, we’ll say in the softest way. It makes them non…it feels non-cozy to a lot of new people, even some regular listeners. But there is a reason we do the structure the way we do it. We start off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel seen and welcomed in and you do hear something silly or relaxing. You say, okay, I could check that podcast out. I kinda get the tone. Then there’s sponsor support so you could listen for free if you want to, or you could support the sponsors and feel involved.
If you prefer not to listen to sponsor stuff, you could support the show on Sleep With Me+ directly or by referring people to the podcast. Then after the support is a long, meandering intro. It is separate from the support and a show within a show. I think we proved that once again tonight where I try to explain what the podcast is, I follow a very familiar structure, but the intro is…has something unexpected. I mean, Jessica Fletcher has made quite a few appearances in the intros because she’s…I’m a big Angela Lansbury fan. But I never thought…I mean, I don't know what…when I can start writing Jessica Fletcher fanfiction. I don't have time to, unfortunately, but…A Town Called Cozy…I mean, we did write that one mystery with…I can't remember any of the characters now, but…so, anyway…oh, so the intro goes on and on and on.
Now, the intro is not designed to put you to sleep. It may put you to sleep, and that’s great. It does put a small percentage of people to sleep, but for most people it’s a buffer. It’s easing you into bedtime as you’re getting ready for bed, as you’re unwinding, as you’re in bed getting comfortable. The intro is kinda the transition, and that’s what works in my personal life. Most studies about sleep show that having a wind-down really sets the mood for going to sleep, getting cozy. I mean, really, it is about getting cozy, and just having something that you look forward to or feel neutral about that helps you wind down.
The reason it’s different every time is I think that’s more effective than just having a repetitive intro, and just weird stuff comes up, like when I be my…when I let my guard down and be myself, you never know how it’s gonna go. Then after the intro is support, then there will be our episodically modular series, Multiplex, and that’s relaxing…kids hanging out in a mall, and some thank-yous at the end. So, that’s the structure of the show. That’s why I make the show. I’m really glad you’re here. I really appreciate your time and coming by. Thanks again. I work really hard; so do a team of people. We yearn and strive. We really want to help you fall asleep. So, one more time, thanks again for coming by, and here’s how we’re able to do it for you for free twice a week.
Alright everybody, Scoots here. It’s time for our episodically modular series. What’s the name of this one? Multiplex, and Multiplex is a story about four friends in a shopping mall after hours, helping people. They’re helping customers that came to the mall by way of the Multiplex, famous film friends, and our four friends are helping them find their way. If you’re new to Sleep With Me, welcome. Glad you’re still listening. This is the bedtime-story portion of the show, and this is where I kinda take your mind off of stuff and try to ease you into bedtime. The way we do it is that…let’s see, how do we do it? It’s…just trying to think of how to introduce this. So, episodically modular…so, the bedtime story is episodically modular.
It means it has some seriality to it, but you could listen to them in any order and out of order, and you don’t have to listen to them completely. If you listen to it again, it’ll make…Sleep With Me stories; they make just as little sense on the fifth listen as they did on the first, sometimes even less. I just listened to the episode preceeding this one a few times and boy, was I confused, and I make it. But that’s what it means. If you are a completist you could listen to these episodes in order, but you don’t need to. Don't worry. I’m gonna…the main character, the narrator, is gonna fill you in on everything. I’m just here to put you at ease and to let you know you won't be…you’ll be so lost, you won't be lost at all, if you catch my drift.
So, without further ado, though, to set everything up is our Hollywood announcer. He comes all the way…I mean, sometimes he’s come from Hollywood, right? North Hollywood, West Hollywood, Hollywood. We love it. But sometimes he comes from the Greater Los Angeles Area. But you want to talk about what’s the greater of the Los Angeles area…I would say…you know what I mean? Remember when…he’s looking at me quizically, like he’s…remember when I talk about strange things we learned as children, there is a big focus on less than, equal than, and more than symbols. I don't know if they anticipated a future where we could only communicate by…what are those called?
It’s not…you know what I’m…? You could just say ‘less than’ or ‘more than’, or you could even use body language to…'cause it was very confusing, especially to someone like me who had some differences in how I learn things. I say, well, that one’s trying to have a snack on the other word, so that’s how you know it’s less than or greater than. I’d say, okay, and then there’s…sometimes there’s a line under that? What does that mean? That’s the kind of thing…when I think about the Greater Los Angeles Area, I think Los…the Greater Los Angeles Area is pretty darn great. But when I think about the greater things…so, not just one thing…not the greatest Los…the greatest thing in the Los Angeles area, but I would say he is one of my favorite things, my greatest things in the Greater Los Angeles Area, especially whispers on his lips and his…something…bumbles on roses.
He makes my heart feel like it’s tied up in paper and string in a good way. I don't know if that…that’s not really a good…greatest image, but…a dewdrop and lemons to make lemonade…he is one of my greatest of the Greater Los…one of the greatest things, in my opinion, of the Greater Los Angeles Area, and without a doubt one of my favorite things, especially when he’s so silent like he’s being right now. I just learn…I just realized this after we’ve been working together, what, one hundred years? I didn’t…I’ve been trying to tell him to be quiet the whole time. Alls I have to do is compliment him in a genuine way, and when I do that, of course I go off topic and get mixed up. But he goes…he’s so silent when I’m complimenting him. So, moving forward, I’ll always be…and I will always compliment you. So, without further ado, our Hollywood announcer, Mr. Antonio Banderas.
The friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys and girls, it’s time to journey into a shopping mall for Multiplex. Clickety-clickety-clack. Whoosh. Okay, that was interesting. That was good. That was…by the way, that was excellent. I cannot compliment you enough on that intro. It’s working. So, he’s gonna go lie down in my bed and not move for a while. So…he’s so good at that that it always amazes me. Up until now it never amazed…I mean, it did amaze me on one level, but not in a level that was…but he’s always worthy of compliments. Somehow I’ll be recording this podcast and complimenting him in my mind. That’s Mr. Antonio Banderas. This is Multiplex.
Good evening, everybody. My name’s Wyatt and I’m here to tell you a tale. I don't know if you’ve been listening to my previous tales, so just in case you haven't, I’m gonna tell you everything you need to know. My name is Wyatt. I’m recording these audios to tell a tale that has never been told before. It’s an adventure which I’ve been telling in multiple parts. It’s a true adventure some friends and I had long ago. One of the reasons I’m telling…recording this, at least…I don't know if I’ll release it, or maybe I’ll release it when I transverse the next transverse plane.
But a lot…since there’s places where…watch…when I’m recording this, there’s places where people watch video on the internet, and sometimes it’s old video that people discover and they say, hey, have you checked this out? Each large metropolitan area, once upon a time, not only did they have…they needed to fill…how do I explain this? There were shows that weren’t popular shows. They were local TV shows kinda like that you’d stream. I mean, this was kinda like the internet before the internet…including people that made shows for unpaid reasons, just out of…for fun, and that’s what I did. I made a show and maybe one day I’ll even tell you the name of it, but where I would show movies that you would watch at sleepover parties or when you wanted to be in the autumn season mood.
In-between, sometimes we’d do interviews, and a lot of the interviews were people involved in that industry or the comic book industry, the toy industry, that would have been interesting to the people watching the show. Someone I never interviewed, Ray Harryhausen, would be one person. Maybe you could look that up. But I had a lot of interviews that none of the other hosts had, and people went…no one thought any…we didn’t have a big audience back then, and people didn’t really think anything of it. They said, wow, Wyatt really interviews cool people, and how does he…who does the makeup and all that kinda stuff? ‘Cause the people I interviewed seemed like they had makeup on or costumes, disguises. Then recently in the past few years, these videos have been discovered.
Luckily they got digitized, and I guess not so luckily…in some sense they got put on the internet, and people saw them and they said, these interviews are amazing. Even if you pause it, it’s hard to tell what the makeup techniques were and what kind of…who were these performers? I’m here to set the record straight and say none of those…those were real people I was interviewing. They weren’t wearing makeup. They weren’t in costume. They were people I met on this adventure who would come back…who I reached back out to. Now, at the time, I knew people would think they were just people in makeup, but believe it or not, that’s not really the reason I’m telling the story. I’m telling the story ‘cause a lot of stories get told, right, and a lot of stories get remembered.
Now, public-access television was a place you could do something and you wouldn't get remembered, in a sense. You wouldn't get noticed, but you could do…you could make something. I don't even know if that’s an important point, but the point is there’s not a lot of adventures that get glorified where, yeah, maybe you get noticed later on for interviewing people in…that people thought were in makeup and you tell them they’re not. But a more important thing to point out is that my friends and I, we were all about to graduate high school, and we all had these paths laid out for us. Maybe you’d call them A-type paths or roads to success, and who knows if we walked…fully walked that road to success where it would have led us, right? But the expectations were each of us would walk our own individual path.
Maybe we’d end up in a school with ivy or maybe we’d end up somewhere after that school doing amazing things and be out there changing the world. That’s what they…go out there and change the world. Be a success. But the strangest thing was…so, that’s where we were headed, and not in any way like we had to. We were fully choosing, I mean, as much as a few kids can. Those were not just the dreams of the authority figures in our lives. Those were our dreams, too. But this adventure changed those dreams and it changed our trajectory and where we set aside those expectations and said, what would it be like not to strive for greatness but not to say, I’m not gonna do nothing, either. What would it be like to be in the middle?
There’s no adventures that get told where the heroes end up in the middle just living and doing stuff, right? I think…I don't understand why, and I think that I’m probably doing it a disservice, 'cause this is quite the adventure that…so, it’s easy…so, it’s like, why would you finish it? You’re just gonna be a couple of plain old plains? I say, yeah, we’re pretty plain doing stuff and living life among people. Yeah, I’m not the mayor. None of us were. We were just townspeople, extras or…but this was…so, I don't know. That’s what makes me want to tell this story. But the story…the other irony is the story and the adventures were the other results, 'cause the results…I’ll tell you. I’ll share it with you right now; pretty darn sweet.
My friends, I keep in touch with them; their lives are pretty darn sweet, too, right in the middle with everybody else. But Wyatt…I get myself mixed up 'cause I’m speaking on behalf of my friends. My friends were Santos, San, Josie, and Boyd…was someone we had…was an associate…a schoolmate of ours, but not really a friend. But we became friends through this adventure. The adventure had started when I found out I didn’t get a scholarship. I kinda didn’t do great on the last few parts of the scholarship, but I thought I…those were technicalities, we thought, but it ended up I didn’t…it didn’t work out for me. So, I was a little bit down because that’s where I thought my path was headed and thought I had botched it, you know?
We were playing mini-golf and that’s where we ran into Boyd, who had come through more or less a tunnel. It’s technically called a culvert that ran from the mini-golf place underneath a very busy road and linked up with some water drainage systems and water control areas. If you…we followed those into a shopping mall that had been closed for quite some time. This was the glory days of the shopping mall. The main reason we thought the mall had been closed was 'cause there was a bigger one not that far down the street, and there was a bigger one than that getting built. So, this mall had just been inoperable.
But Boyd had discovered that the…one particular store that Boyd had discovered in the mall still was stocked full of concentrate, Julius J Juice concentrate, to make some sort of juice like orange juice, but a little bit fancier. Now, this company, Julius J Juice, had gone out of business years prior, around the same time the mall had gone out of business. But so, Boyd said this stuff is just sitting in there. It’s concentrated Julius J Juice, pretty large…No. 10 cans, I think they’re called, and they have a value. Boyd had already been on what would one day become the internet, and Boyd could sell these Julius J Juices, cans of it, for a significant amount of money, and all profit other than labor…and Boyd was willing to split the money with us if we helped Boyd get the Julius J Juice concentrate out of the mall.
Now, maybe you could say this was a gray area or it was totally fine, but it didn’t seem wrong to us. I mean, some things…it seemed a little bit of a rebellion, but Boyd said this company closed, went out of business, liquidated. The mall closed…now owned by the city or the county or something. So, this is just unclaimed. It’s just there for the taking. So, we said, okay, let’s do it. Now, we…so, we set out to go get these cans of Julius J Juice, bring them back through the culvert, load them in a truck, store them while Boyd sold them off, and it would be a significant amount of money if we had moved all the cans of juice out of the mall, so much so that I probably could have still gone to the Halls of Ivy and continued on my path until maybe…I’d probably need another scholarship, but not the big one I was gonna get.
So, that’s what we had intended to do, but we got sidetracked as soon as we started. We started meeting people in the mall that needed our help, and then meeting people that had somehow come out of movies into the mall who needed our help, someone that wore a lot of scarves, someone named Franny who was an amalgamation of people, and we thought at first we were in some sort of immersive adventure theatre like you would see nowadays, like a immersive theatre, but it went on for a few days, and there was just also strange things. The mall was clean. The mall was fully stocked. The stores looked like they had just closed. There was workers, but there was something unreal about it. We lost track of day and night.
Then we realized that time had slowed down and that something was happening in the mall, where for every day passing in the mall, an hour was passing in your world or my world or our world. Right around the time we discovered that, we met the Crispy Commander or Commander Crunch, the Crispy Commander, the most…one of the most famous cereal heroes out there. You know, breakfast time…get ready, breakfast time. So…but a real version; not a plush. Could have been a animatronic, but at this point we had suspended our disbelief. We found the Crispy Commander, Commander Crunch, inside of a cuckoo clock, sleeping. Commander Crunch said, hey, I’ve been…this is basically the summary, 'cause right when I’m picking up this tale, it comes right after this conversation.
But Commander Crunch said, I’ve been watching you helping these people that came from the movies, and you’re…I see you trying to help them, and I think that’s pretty cool. I’m trying to help them, too. In fact, I have a proposal. If you keep helping them…when we would help someone from the movies, the end result would be they would return to their movie, it would end differently, and it would become a cereal commercial. So, the fact we were talking to a cereal mascot using your world’s terms, not my terms, kind of made some sense in that context, and that we were in a world…well, I mean, this current time has more things like a transverse plane, a intersection of universes, kind of, but an intentional one, and that’s what Commander Crunch had explained to us.
This is part of the transverse plane and these people are coming here for help for a reason. If you help them, I found a way through the cereal commercials to monetize it, so I’ll also pay you for helping, and you’re doing the right thing, and time has slowed. So, no one is missing you yet because you all said you were sleeping over at each other’s houses or going camping for the weekend. I can't even remember what fib we told at the time. So, we said, okay, let us think…Boyd said, whoa, let us think about it. We’re gonna sleep on it. So, we slept and so, we awoke, and then we discussed things. One thing came up which we posed to Commander Crunch, the Crispy Commander, who had gone back to sleep inside of a cuckoo clock. We said, hey, okay…so, we kinda get it, right?
We’re supposed to help you, and you’re saying you’re gonna pay us and it’s the right thing to do. But what if we said no, right? We were thinking, could we still say no? ‘Cause it was…we were trying to build a consensus between the four of us, and being teenagers, just saying we have to help even if it’s the right thing and we’re getting paid, it’s not a easy thing to swallow for teenagers…suggest a thing that’s a good idea. So, we said, what would happen…what if we don’t help you? What if we don’t want to help? Commander Crunch, Crispy Commander, said, good question. That’s a good question. He said, I knew I chose the right people for this mission, or these missions. The Crispy Commander paused and said, how many screens are at the Multiplex? We said, well, ten.
There used to be…they had doubled the amount…cut the screen sizes down and doubled the amount of screens, maybe closed…I don't remember, but yeah, there’s ten screens. Alright, and how many people have you helped? We said, two. The Crispy Commander said, okay, so, eight screens, right? We said, yeah. He said, okay, so…and we’re gonna assume that more friends are coming. I think that’s the case. We could agree on that? We said, maybe, maybe, maybe. Then it said, okay, so, let’s just say one or two more come, right, and they don’t get helped 'cause you’re not here. Maybe I could help them, the…I am the Crispy Commander, Commander Crunch, and I could try to help them, but I’m not the same as you. I’m from another world, also. It probably should be obvious.
So, I’m still try…it’s weird. I have…our universes are very similar, but there’s differences. So, there might be things that I think I understand that I don't understand. So, I might not be totally equipped to help them. So, that’s…so, then if I can't help them…what would happen if they got in a frowny-faced mood, like the kind of mood they’re in in the movies before you helped them? Though they’ve been really pleasant to work with, right? We said, yeah, pretty much, pretty much. Right, but in the movies they’re not pleasant to work with, right? We said, yeah. He said, well, what if one somehow snuck out of here, right? You got in here.
What if one got out and went and visited your…anybody’s house, but it could be your house or your cousin’s or your sister’s or your younger brother’s or whatever it is, and they visited there and they were in a frowny-faced mood and they talked to someone in your family very sternly in an unkind way with…and they talked about long-term consequences with your…what would…that could happen, right? We said, I guess so, but we still don’t understand why this is happening, and…yeah. The Crispy Commander said, yeah, right, this is…yeah, we’re just speculating. You’re right; it could happen but it doesn't mean it will. But the other thing is I don't think we’re the only ones that know about this, right? I only woke up in this clock when you woke me up, and I’ve been here a little time. But someone else has been here.
You notice the fences are a different age than the shopping mall, right? Someone put those up and someone put them up so that the friends would stay here, right? Why do you think it’s so hard…why do you think it’s been so hard for you to leave? You did find a way in, and yeah, that’s great. So, there probably is a way back out, but maybe that person or people…and why…if they know or they know what’s happening, don’t you think they probably have some reason…? If you were in the position where you could buy an entire shopping mall and take it over and you knew something from the movies was becoming real, do you think that anybody would have any motivations…have you ever read any fictional books or seen any movies that could compare with this? We all looked at each other. Of course we had.
Of course, of course, probably some sort of cold…the cold disagreements you talk about in your history classes. I predate the cold disagreements of your history classes. I’ve been around. That’s why I’m the Crispy Commander, Commander…the Commander…Commander Crisp, Commander Crunch, the Crispy Commander, is to kinda…was to kinda boost people’s spirits and give them something to eat…anyway, not important, the history of cereal and stuff like that. But yeah, something else could be at foot, but sure, you could still leave, and I understand it. Maybe some other kids will find their way here and help me. You could even probably…you could probably still get the rest of those cans of juice if you want and go. That’s fine. If it’s fine with you, it’s fine with me.
It’s not gonna…I’m not gonna…I’m just gonna go back to sleep and then I’ll try to figure…I’ve been sleeping a lot. But yeah, I just wonder what the ulterior motive is, if there is one. But maybe I’m wrong. I’m just a cereal-based…I have no idea. To be honest, I kinda only have vague memories of who I am. But yeah, if it won't bother you, just take the juice and go. That’s fine. Yeah, so if you don’t…if you say no, there’s no consequence to it. But I think that the Crispy Commander knew what he was saying to us, right? Because there was just enough of a door open to close the door on us leaving. ‘Cause we said, well, even if this is just speculation…yeah, what would happen if Franny was frowny-faced?
‘Cause Franny was kinda like the incredible green being in the comic books, and the incredible green being, Hulg, when they were grouchy, they would…even unintentionally, they could break dishes and stuff like that, spill milk. If they were gonna spill milk at our house, there might be people with tears over the spilled milk or the broken dishes, so we couldn’t let that happen. So, we said, okay, okay, we’re in, we’re in. Where do we start? Commander Crunch said, I don't know. Where did you start last time? We said, in the mall. Commander Crunch said, well, then…I don't know where to start. I don't know everything. We said, well, the other two times it kinda happened by accident. Commander Crunch said, by accident? Then…well, I don't know. If you were gonna start somewhere, where would you start?
Then we said, well, the movies, I guess. We could double-check and see if any movies are playing. Commander Crunch just nodded. So, then we headed back to the movie theatre, the Multiplex. We could hear stuff, so we knew a movie was playing. Then we went into the…initially went into the theatre and we were…we heard more than one movie because it…Theatres 1, 2, and 3 were on our left, and Theatres 3, 4, and 5…and then the other theatres I’ll explain another time, right? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6; I’m sorry. So, we could hear something coming from Theatre 1. We had already been in Theatre 2 and 3. But we could also hear something from 4, 5, or 6. Couldn't figure out that one 'cause it was lower. We said, wait a second, is there two movies playing? Then we were going back and forth.
But the movie in 1 was definitely more closer, louder. We said, it sounds kinda like operatic music. Maybe it’s just a music track, like a opera music…like Muzak in the other one. Maybe it’s not even in the movie. So, we headed in. We decided, let’s just go to Theatre 1; it sounds like a movie. Definitely. You can hear dialogue. Alright, so we opened the door and we went in. You gotta go around the corner first, but we could already hear that it was pretty late in the movie. It was a movie called Count, The Count, and it’s a pretty famous film, a film we had seen many times before and another book we had read as…some of us, I guess not all of us, 'cause it was…the book was a little bit different. But we sat and watched the movie because we liked it, and we started to kinda speculate, even. Like, okay, is it gonna be…?
Well, couldn't it be somebody else we help? We were all like, well, who would you want to help? Renfield, Mina, Harker, Van Helsing, or Count? I think there’s somebody else that I had a crush on, too. Oh, Lucy; right, Lucy, Lucy. Yeah. So, we kinda went back and forth, and then the movie ended and then it restarted again. We looked around. We said, okay, I guess we gotta figure out…so, where…? We gotta figure out where we’re gonna find the Count, right? This is a famous movie based on…well, to be honest, I don't know if that was the first example of that. But we said, well, where will we find somebody? They like…they have very sensitive eyesight, so they like to be in a low-light environment, and they also prefer…they have certain beverage choices like tomato…what do they call that?
What’s that one called? Tomato cocktail-type drinks. We were like, okay, there’s…so, we started kind of just being like, I guess we should just walk around. But you’re right; where would they be? Then we were also kinda like, where in the movie does the Count need help? Because we said, okay, so, the basics of the movie is it’s got a little bit of a love story, forlorn love story, friendship-type thing and more between…you got the mentorship, a professional friendship relationship, a love story, a sweaty-back story, and also it doesn't…the Count moves 'cause the Count lives in opulence far, far away. We said, okay…and then a lot of diaries and letters. But that doesn't help us…like, where we would find them. It was like, okay, brainstorm it, right? Okay, so we said, someplace dark, and then we…wait a second.
Hold on. Do we want to…what if it is the Count? Isn’t this one different? Because the Count is not…redeeming qualities…Franny had redeeming qualities 'cause Victor was kinda the…so, then we went back to hoping that it wasn’t the Count we were gonna help. Yeah, maybe it’s Lucy. We all were like, it’d be great if we could help Lucy or Mina. They we said, or Ren…maybe Renfield? I don't know. Because we were like…also…so, Franny and the…our friend the mommy, they both were kind of…society…the societies they were in kinda changed the rules, in a sense. We were like, does that apply here to the Count? Because…or does the Count have any redeeming qualities below the surface?
On the surface, probably plenty of them, I guess if you count magical powers, but we’ll still say that’s a surface-level thing. So, we were really talking this out. Then we were like, okay, but where would we go, and what place is like a place where we’d…? Then we said, well, that place that sells the fancy stuff like sculptures and fancy…expensive lamps, rugs…so, we didn’t even know what that place was called. It was like, the Dad Den. Like, any stores selling den…we said, okay, like a den. Yeah, at least it’s in the title. Oh, isn’t there a Wine Cave place? Okay, so, we’ll check that one. Okay, that could be it. There was a bank…there’s still a bank and a post office somewhere in the mall. We haven't stopped at those. I said, coffee…so, what ended up happening…I guess we were also discussing this while we were walking.
‘Cause we were also like, should we even…? I guess if they become…I don't know. We were having second thoughts, I would say, with…and I said, what if this person’s not nice? ‘Cause I think the other thing was before this, our expectations were must different. We had been led and accidentally stumbled upon it, usually with a worker. Then we were like, wait a second, we…usually we help a worker first. So we said, okay, well, let’s just check all those shops, and none of those shops worked out. The mall gates had gone up again, so we didn’t…couldn't leave. All the exits weren’t accessible, but the whole mall was accessible again. So, then we’re just kinda walking up and down, trying to look in each place but not really go in, and that’s when we got a little jumpy.
But one of the corner places near the center of the mall…we got a little jumpy-jumpy 'cause we saw…I don't know if we saw somewhere or…we saw something which was like, huh, is that some sort of shadow? Then we said, wait a second, is that a promotional thing? Then we heard something that sounded like a sound. Not a sound…like a sound…a muffled sound, which was what we were kinda listening for. Then we got into a disagreement about the name of this place, because the name of the place was Stolen’s. Not Stalin, not Stallin; Stolen. But I think it’s…we called it Stolen’s, at least in my house. My friends didn’t even know any of this history, but I think it was Stalin’s, which I guess…it wasn’t that name for very long, obviously.
But I think it was S-T-O-L-E…I don't know, something with…it was spelled like that, not like Stalin or Stallin. But originally it had changed names already twice. It was Julie Child’s Chocolates, then it was Julie’s Chocolates, then it became Stolen, which had a European sound to it. But the funny thing is…'cause my family would always talk about it because they were big Julia Childs fans. They said we would never…we were not allowed to eat chocolate from Julie Child’s Chocolates or Julie’s Chocolates or Stolen's Chocolates, because it turned out that my family said…both my parents, they were huge Julia Childs fans. They would make us dinner; we would watch the show. She was a TV host on PBS…gave cooking lessons or cooked. They said, yeah, the place is Julie Child’s. They named it to sound like her, but it’s not Julia Childs.
It’s Julie Child’s Chocolates. Eventually it took her a few different tries to say, hey, that’s my name. You’re inferring that I own this chocolate place and I don't, or you’re just using my name…the fanciness that sounds similar to my name to make your…and that’s when they renamed it Julie’s Chocolates from Julie Childs, and then they…it just was ironic that they called it Stolen. Because the other thing was the business model was based on somebody else’s idea, too. So, my parents had no patience for the place, though it was very popular. I still don’t understand if that many people are buying boxed chocolates. I know they did fundraisers from school that I…my parents would say, we decline to participate.
They would even say it; joke…they’d say, for the love of Julia Childs, this is not…we’re not selling these chocolate…or these gift certificates. So, anyway, just…it was just a strange side note. Okay, so, anyway, that’s where things were coming from. So, we go in there and what we thought was a shadow was a life-size chocolate sculpture. So, that calmed us, but then we realized the muffling…the muffled sounds were coming from the life-size chocolate sculpture. We said, the sounds are coming from the…and we said, hello? Is somebody…? They were kinda saying…mumbling back. Then…basically indicating they were stuck inside a hollow…they were inside a chocolate sculpture, which obviously we figured, okay, this is our employee that needs our help.
So, we start breaking apart the chocolate sculpture, and they were like, don’t…watch my hands and face. Please don’t…watch my hands and face. Not near my hands and face, which we said, okay, that makes sense, yeah. So, we broke off their back and their chest and around their legs and the back of their head. Now looking back at it, it was…anyway, we should have known, right? But we break it off and the person is still pretty covered in chocolate. We get them off and it takes quite some time. They’re spitting out chocolate. They were saying that they didn’t enjoy the taste of the chocolate and they were very…but then they were also…thank you, thank you, thank you…thanks. They said, do you have any water or anything?
We said, not…but then we said, yeah, well, the food court…there seems to be always food for us somewhere, so we’ll go get you a drink. So, we ran and got them a drink of water, and then they spit out as much of the chocolate as they could. Then they went into this speech, kind of. They said, this chocolate is…then I said, okay, they have some sort of fancy…but I don't want to do a fancy European-style…'cause I said, oh, maybe they work at Stolen’s. Maybe they were also copying Spence’s, 'cause I had never been to Stalin’s before, or Stolen’s. So, they said…basically, they went about on this…kind of a tirade about European chocolate is real and that our chocolate, particularly chocolate in the store, was not real. Then we said, what do you…? What? They said, this is not real chocolate.
We said, well, can you explain more? They said, well…or, how do you know? They said, believe me; I know deep down to the depths of my heart that this is not real chocolate. That’s how I got stuck in here. We said, well, no, no, this is a fancy chocolate store. Then they just laughed. They said, this is not real chocolate. Then we said, yeah, no, no, it’s chocolate. It says right here on the box, right? They said, okay…and then Boyd said, is this…like one of these farming standards, right? This is the definition of the word ‘chocolate’? The person just stared at them, though slowly it was dawning on us who this person was, right? As they kinda got the chocolate off of them, we saw…we started to see…I don't know. So, you’re catching my drift, I think.
So, then Boyd was like, oh, in Europe you have different standards for what you would determine is chocolate. This person said, well, I guess…no, because we had chocolate first. Then Boyd said, no, you didn’t. Like, blah, blah, blah. Boyd knew the actual history of chocolate. Then the person said, okay, so we…okay, well, I have a very special relationship with chocolate that I can explain to you all, 'cause I need your help anyway. But first, they went again and said that this chocolate’s just not real chocolate. It’s imitation chocolate, which we said, no, no, it’s chocolate. Boyd said, it’s technically chocolate but it’s not the chocolate he’s saying is chocolate. So, let’s just go with their definition. Okay, so it’s artificial chocolate? Can we say that? They said, fine, artificial…actually, that’s right; science-based chocolate.
It’s artificial. You’re right. Then…Boyd actually knew a lot. He said, oh, you know, there is cost savings that goes into it, but it’s also about what taste…at this point, we can't go back to the…we can't…what tastes good to you doesn't taste good to us. Boyd said, haven't you heard of the localized hot-dog theory? None of us had, not even…not them or anybody. Then they got into a discussion about the difference between hot-dogs and sausages. So, none of us were really listening. But we said, how did you get wrapped up in chocolate? ‘Cause it seems like you need help, right? How’d you…? They said it was a misguided attempt to fix things. It’s a long, long, long story, they said, but I’ve been on a journey of misery and loneliness. I thought I had gotten to the end. We said, well, what do you mean?
They said, well, I’m the Count. I’m the Count du Chocolate. We said, okay. But we said, wait a second, this is a little different than the movie. They’re not the Count du Chocolate, you know? They’re the Count du After Dark and Stay Out of the Sunlight. So we said, Count du Chocolate? They said, have…you’ve never heard my tale? It’s a tale of woe. We said, no, we haven't heard your tale. Then they said, well, I’ll tell it to you, then. They said, well, I have the…that’s why I said no touching my hands or my lips, my face, because I have the chocolate touch. We said, the chocolate touch? They said, yeah, the touch, the chocolate touch. Watch. Then they touched a box of chocolates, and the box turned to chocolate. But then they said, open the box. Then we opened the box. The ribbon turned to chocolate, everything.
We opened the box and the chocolates inside were still the chocolates from Stolen’s Chocolates. They said, see? The box is real chocolate and the chocolates inside are made of this imitation, fake chocolate…which was confusing 'cause we were trying to listening to their tale, and then we were tasting chocolate. The box just tasted too chocolatey. We were like, this is too chocolatey. They said, that’s what real chocolate tastes like, children. They were very stern about that point. But we said, tell us your tale of misery and woe, please. They said, a long, long, long time ago, so long ago I can't even remember everything, there was a time when I wandered…yeah, all of…wandered the world.
I had already had this on me, this chocolate touch, and that’s even a longer tale of how I got the chocolate touch. But yeah, just like other touches you’ve heard; anything I touch turns to chocolate. But I had learned to use it to delight people. I mean, there were times I made mistakes. I also crashed a couple chocolate-based economies by making too much chocolate, but I learned, and over time, over a long, long period of time, I would leave little chocolate surprises for people and I would watch them enjoy it. But it always left me with a lack of connection because I could only do it from afar. Then we looked at each other 'cause we were like, okay, this is making sense, kinda like the…Franny.
Then they told a tale of how…then they wandered into this one town and it was Vilma Vonka who they…made them an uninvited…or they were an invited guest that didn’t say ‘yes’ to the invitation, kind of like us in the mall, in a sense, and they were asked to stay and supply…'cause this Vilma Vonka knew they had the chocolate touch. So, they used them as a chocolate producer. They said, yeah, I didn’t get to do anything other than touch things that would become chocolate, and it was mostly stuff they got from the…like old barrels and things. It wasn’t fun. Oh, by the way, my chocolate is delicious. Just…you don’t have the right tastebuds 'cause your tastebuds have been developed on imitation chocolate. We said, fine, fine. So, anyway, get back to your tale.
They said, yeah, and eventually Vilma Vonka…the castle…you’ve probably heard of my castle, the Count du Chocolate’s castle. She was the Countess du Chocolate and maintained an illusion that I was her Count, and…but really I was just there to make things into chocolate. She developed a great chocolate empire and a great castle isolated from the world where no one would know that there was no real chocolate production going on. It was a mystery, right? How is she churning out that much chocolate? Does she have Zoomba-Zoombas working there? A lot of tales got woven, but it was really just me touching things that were salvageable goods. It turns out for some reason those were better.
Like, you do a boulder…it has the same mass, so it took a lot of…just to answer that question, to get a boulder in and then a boulder back out…so anyway…so, I was not happy about this, right? I had been…at least I enjoyed going out in the world and making things into chocolate. Chocolate tree; it wasn’t great for the tree. Now I realize that. I realize I was wrong. But so, I plotted to get away, which I had to kind of…believe it or not, I faked…that’s why, when you came in, I was trapped in chocolate. What I did with Vilma Vonka is I slowly built my own sculpture of myself. I kept telling her, if you don’t let me go, I’ll just turn myself into chocolate. She said, I don't think you could do that, or you would. I said, I will, I will. I just want to roam free.
But she never believed me, and she…because she was right; I couldn't, but I could fake it. So, I faked it and I made my own chocolate sculpture in my room that I was always supposed to stay in when I wasn’t turning things to chocolate. She rushed in, and I’ll be honest, I turned her to chocolate for sure. Then I just took over the enterprise and I lived at this great castle, and that’s pretty famous stuff, right? Because that’s where it got even…I decided I wanted to be around people again, right? I tried, and…I’m trying to give you the shortest version. You all seem like you’re falling asleep…'cause we were kinda falling asleep to their story. Maybe it was the chocolate and just the smell of warm chocolate in the room.
But it was also…it took us hours to break that chocolate off of the Count. But the Count said, so, I lived in luxury and I kept the chocolate enterprise going, but eventually I grew tired of that as time wore on, and because I’m…because of this…whatever it is, the chocolate touch, I last forever. I think this has to do with your chocolate doesn't melt with human warmth, which is an important thing. Remember, real chocolate melts with human warmth. Don’t forget that. We said, why? He said, well, my heart was empty, you know? So, that’s when I met some of the people in the tale that I’ve come from, Harker and Renfield and Lucy and Mina. We said, yeah, you’re…and he said, no, no, let me tell you my side. I realize how it’s portrayed, but I was lonely and then I heard about London, and I heard London was pretty sweet.
I even read some books by Charles Dickens and stuff. I said, that sounds like my kind of place. But what I didn’t realize is that something about…before I worked with Vilma, it was…the chocolate touch wasn’t…it separated me from people, but there’s…something happened in that time that changed the intensity of my chocolate-making. I didn’t realize it, but I said, I want to move to London. Even though I can't…my lips or my hands can't touch people, maybe I could still be around people because I still feel that urge. I got a house in London and I got a house with these beautiful balconies, and that’s how…Harker was the one who arranged all that. We don’t got time for some of the other ones, but Lucy and Mina…I became the waving man of London. You may have heard of me.
But what happened was that was…I was waving at people and trying to create a connection with them. But something happened where…with…Lucy was the first one where it didn’t just…it was no longer me just touching…a physical touch that could turn something to chocolate. It became a heart-based connection like my waving. Lucy would stop and talk to me and call up and say one day we should meet. I said, no, no, no. So, that…even though whatever they say in the tales, that’s how Lucy did become a chocolate statue, and Mina…that’s where she started to turn to chocolate, and that’s when they realized if we can…if the chocolate toucher no longer exists in this realm, maybe we could get Mina to be non-chocolate anymore. Yeah, when I got irritable, I also said, if you’re gonna talk to me sternly, I may turn you to chocolate.
I do have to give you a warning. But that was the low of the low for me because it was like, any time my heart felt a connection to someone and they may have been open to it, some sort of non-physical light emotional intimacy, the most intimacy I had had for hundreds and hundreds of years…can you imagine turning people to chocolate just by…? It was not just a chocolate gaze. I know what you’re thinking, but if my heart gazed on you now…I don't want to turn any of you into chocolate. Now, the thing was we were already asleep, but the thing was the Count told us the story so many times…but that’s what the Count said; that’s what I need your help with, figuring out why this artificial chocolate doesn't change. I believe your fake chocolate is the key to my living a full, rich life. So, I guess we’ll stop there, 'cause we were asleep. I was kind of barely awake. Everybody else was out cold, sleeping sound with the Count du Chocolate. So, we’ll be back soon to talk more about this. Goodnight, everybody.
[END OF RECORDING]
(Transcription performed by LeahTranscribes)
-
Multiplex
Cozy Mystery
https://movieweb.com/cozy-mysteries-popular-why/
https://murder-mayhem.com/millennial-cozy-mysteries
https://www.novelsuspects.com/articles/novel-investigations-a-brief-history-of-cozy-mysteries/
The Best SFX Makeup Artists
https://camerareadycosmetics.com/blogs/news/the-10-best-sfx-makeup-artists-of-all-time
https://screenrant.com/best-movie-makeup-artists-all-time-most-oscar-nominations/
https://www.cbr.com/influential-hollywood-makeup-artists/
Dracula
https://whyy.org/episodes/vampire-folklore-and-the-undying-legacy-of-dracula/
https://time.com/5411826/bram-stoker-dracula-history/
https://medium.com/@DELife/dracula-impact-on-horror-and-vampire-literature-65025f28590b
School Chocolate Bar Fundraisers
https://www.npr.org/2024/02/28/1197958355/school-fundraisers
https://www.chicagotribune.com/2015/08/03/school-fundraising-a-billion-dollar-business/
DOWN TO BUSINESS
Believe it not, I’m in stripes right now
I’m silly, I promise
These aren’t pajamas, they’re repurposed clothing
My favorite wintertime pajama shirt
Repurposed Pajamas Influencer
Deep Dark Night United
Karl W Links
PLUGS
NYC Mesh; Sean Casey Animal Rescue; Hand in Hand; The Midnight Mission; Trevor Project; Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline
SPONSORS
Claritin; Dusker; Helix Sleep; Odoo; Air Dpctor Pro; AquaTru; Zocdoc; Progressive
INTRO
Bubbling Up to the Surface
My friend’s been having some physical sensations in their shoulder lately
It’s not easy
I’m not normally someone described as Woo Woo
But someone out there is glad you’re here
Have I talked enough about pajamas?
The silliness comes naturally
Believe it or not, these sweats are from a former sponsor
The top is from a certain Uni company
SWM is not designed to be listened to
Trying to remember a silly thing from the previous night
It makes sense that Scooter would talk about how he sometimes wears socks
Today will be extra cozy
I think I dogsat a dog named Cozy once
A Town Called Cozy, a Jessica Fletcher series
Man, I’m already ready to pack to visit Cozy
Scooter couldn’t sit still in Cozy
Violating the 3 Principles of the Town of Cozy
Pseudo-Pajamas
I don’t even know what that is
When will I start writing Jessica Fletcher fan fiction?
When I’m myself, you never know what’s going to happen
STORY
Famous Film Friends
How do we introduce this series?
They just make as little sense the 5th time around as they do the 1st
So lost you won’t be lost at all
Antonio’s introduction
The Greatest of the Greater Los Angeles Area
The Importance of < and > symbols
Why were those so important?
Antonio makes my heart feel like it’s tied up in paper and string (in a good way)
We’ve been working together for 100 years
If I just compliment him, he stays silent!
Antonio is always worthy of compliments in my mind
Wyatt introduces the tale
My public access show got rediscovered online
Movies you’d watch in the Autumn Season Mood
Ray Harryhausen is the kind of person I would’ve interviewed
Those are real people I’m interviewing, not people in makeup
The journey that ends up in the middle
Maybe we’d end up in a school with Ivy
How we ended up in this mall
The Glory Days of the Shopping Mall
In search of Julius J Juice concentrate
The money meant I could go to college
Something was unreal about the mall
Meeting Commander Crunch, the Crispy Commander
A real version, not a plush
Returning these cereal characters to their Transverse Plane
Making money off these cereal commercials you’re making
Boyd wants to think about this offer
What happens if we don’t help?
Commander Crunch knows he’s brought on the right kids
10 screens at the multiplex
We’ve helped 2
What happens if the kids aren’t there to help these beings?
Commander Crunch is also from a different world
The beings might become unpleasant and start visiting people’s homes IRL
Someone else has been here
The fences are a recent addition to the shopping mall
Someone is trying to keep the friends in the mall
Who would buy a mall to keep these friends here?
Perhaps it’s connected to the Cold Disagreement
The kids can probably leave with their cans but it won’t solve this bigger problem
No Consequences to Saying No
Commander Crunch sows seeds of doubt
Ok, where do we get started
Back to the Multiplex
More than one movie is playing
Something is coming from Theatres 1, 4, 5 and 6
This sounds like opera muzak
A movie called The Count
Who would you want to help in The Count?
Tomato Cocktail Type Drinks (TCTD)
Where in the movie does the Count need help?
A Forlorn Love Story
Does the Count have redeeming qualities?
It would be great if we just had to help someone else from this story?
That place that sells the fancy furniture might work
The Den
Usually we help a worker first
We don’t find any workers
We got a jumpy-poo around a corner
Stolen, formerly Julie’s, formerly Julie Child’s Chocolates
My family was big Julia Child fans
We weren’t allowed to eat stuff from Julie Child
Explaining Julia Child
The business model was also based on another one’s
Muffled sounds from a lifesize chocolate sculpture
Stuck inside a chocolate sculpture
We break them out of the sculpture
Still pretty covered in chocolate
A tirade about European chocolate
The chocolate in this store is not real!
We’re slowly realizing who this person is
A very special relationship with chocolate
Science-based chocolate (SBC)
The Localized Hot Dog Theory
A misguided attempt to fix things
On a journey of misery and loneliness
The Count de Chocolat
The Chocolate Touch
The count’s tale of misery and woe
Leaving gifts of chocolate for people
Vilma Vanca, the Countess de Chocolat
She developed a chocolat empire from his chocolate touch
The Count was not happy
He plotted to get away
He faked turning himself into chocolate
He then turned her into chocolate
He wanted to be around people again
This is a sleepy story
Real Chocolate Melts With Human Warmth
The Count tells his side of the story
He wanted to go to London, which sounded pretty sweet
He got a house with beautiful balconies in London
The Waving Man of London
Lucy wanted to connect and that’s how she turned into a chocolate statue
Then people want to get rid of the chocolate toucher
Non-Physical Light Emotional Intimacy
The Count doesn’t want to turn any of us into chocolate
The Count needs our help
This fake chocolate might be the key to the Count’s redemption
SWM+ THANKS
Jill, Kayla, Elizabeth, Zoe, Risa, Vicky, Michelle, Megan, Lindsay, Jamie, Andrea, Kathy, Ana, Cassie, Benjamin, Colleen, Kaylin, Josie, Natalie, Peter, Ashley K, Ashley A, Elizabeth, Ana, El, Bea, Rachel, Lowell, Pamela, Dean
SUMMARY:
Episode: 1262
Title: Julie Childs' Count | Multiplex Ep8
Deep Dark Night United: Karl W Links
Plugs: NYC Mesh; Sean Casey Animal Rescue; Hand in Hand; The Midnight Mission; Trevor Project; Sleep With Me Plus; SleepPhones; Rusty Biscuit Links; Emily Tat Artwork; NAPAWF; Anti-Racism Resources; Ukraine Relief; Crisis Textline
Sponsors: Claritin; Dusker; Helix Sleep; Odoo; Air Dpctor Pro; AquaTru; Zocdoc; Progressive
SWM+ Thanks: Jill, Kayla, Elizabeth, Zoe, Risa, Vicky, Michelle, Megan, Lindsay, Jamie, Andrea, Kathy, Ana, Cassie, Benjamin, Colleen, Kaylin, Josie, Natalie, Peter, Ashley K, Ashley A, Elizabeth, Ana, El, Bea, Rachel, Lowell, Pamela, Dean
Notable Language:
- Repurposed Pajamas Influencer
- Woo Woo
- S-O-C-K-S
- Cozy
- Pseudo-Pajamas
- Famous Film Friends
- Julius J Juice
- Culvert
- Commander Crunch, the Crispy Commander
- Muzak
- Tomato Cocktail Type Drinks (TCTD)
- Jumpy Jump
- Science-based chocolate (SBC)
- The Localized Hot Dog Theory
- The Chocolate Touch
- Chocolate-Based Economies (CBEs)
- Real Chocolate Melts With Human Warmth
- The Waving Man of London
- Heart-Based Connection (HBC)
Notable Culture:
- Sleep With Me: Afer Dark
-
- Uniqlo
- Murder, She Wrote
-
- A Town Called Cozy, a Jessica Fletcher series
- Angela Lansbury
- Multiplex
- Antonio Banderas
- “My Favorite Things” song
- Ray Harryhausen
- Dracula
- Julia Child
- Middle School Chocolate Bar Fundraisers
- King Midas
- Charles Dickens
Notable Talking Points:
- Bubbling Up to the Surface
- My friend’s been having some physical sensations in their shoulder lately
- It’s not easy
- I’m not normally someone described as Woo Woo
- But someone out there is glad you’re here
- Have I talked enough about pajamas?
- The silliness comes naturally
- Believe it or not, these sweats are from a former sponsor
- The top is from a certain Uni company
- SWM is not designed to be listened to
- Trying to remember a silly thing from the previous night
- It makes sense that Scooter would talk about how he sometimes wears socks
- Today will be extra cozy
- I think I dogsat a dog named Cozy once
- A Town Called Cozy, a Jessica Fletcher series
- Man, I’m already ready to pack to visit Cozy
- Scooter couldn’t sit still in Cozy
- Violating the 3 Principles of the Town of Cozy
- Pseudo-Pajamas
- I don’t even know what that is
- When will I start writing Jessica Fletcher fan fiction?
- When I’m myself, you never know what’s going to happen
- Famous Film Friends
- How do we introduce this series?
- They just make as little sense the 5th time around as they do the 1st
- So lost you won’t be lost at all
- Antonio’s introduction
- The Greatest of the Greater Los Angeles Area
- The Importance of < and > symbols
- Why were those so important?
- Antonio makes my heart feel like it’s tied up in paper and string (in a good way)
- We’ve been working together for 100 years
- If I just compliment him, he stays silent!
- Antonio is always worthy of compliments in my mind
- Wyatt introduces the tale
- My public access show got rediscovered online
- Movies you’d watch in the Autumn Season Mood
- Ray Harryhausen is the kind of person I would’ve interviewed
- Those are real people I’m interviewing, not people in makeup
- The journey that ends up in the middle
- Maybe we’d end up in a school with Ivy
- How we ended up in this mall
- The Glory Days of the Shopping Mall
- In search of Julius J Juice concentrate
- The money meant I could go to college
- Something was unreal about the mall
- Meeting Commander Crunch, the Crispy Commander
- A real version, not a plush
- Returning these cereal characters to their Transverse Plane
- Making money off these cereal commercials you’re making
- Boyd wants to think about this offer
- What happens if we don’t help?
- Commander Crunch knows he’s brought on the right kids
- 10 screens at the multiplex
- We’ve helped 2
- What happens if the kids aren’t there to help these beings?
- Commander Crunch is also from a different world
- The beings might become unpleasant and start visiting people’s homes IRL
- Someone else has been here
- The fences are a recent addition to the shopping mall
- Someone is trying to keep the friends in the mall
- Who would buy a mall to keep these friends here?
- Perhaps it’s connected to the Cold Disagreement
- The kids can probably leave with their cans but it won’t solve this bigger problem
- No Consequences to Saying No
- Commander Crunch sows seeds of doubt
- Ok, where do we get started
- Back to the Multiplex
- More than one movie is playing
- Something is coming from Theatres 1, 4, 5 and 6
- This sounds like opera muzak
- A movie called The Count
- Who would you want to help in The Count?
- Tomato Cocktail Type Drinks (TCTD)
- Where in the movie does the Count need help?
- A Forlorn Love Story
- Does the Count have redeeming qualities?
- It would be great if we just had to help someone else from this story?
- That place that sells the fancy furniture might work
- The Den
- Usually we help a worker first
- We don’t find any workers
- We got a jumpy-poo around a corner
- Stolen, formerly Julie’s, formerly Julie Child’s Chocolates
- My family was big Julia Child fans
- We weren’t allowed to eat stuff from Julie Child
- Explaining Julia Child
- The business model was also based on another one’s
- Muffled sounds from a lifesize chocolate sculpture
- Stuck inside a chocolate sculpture
- We break them out of the sculpture
- Still pretty covered in chocolate
- A tirade about European chocolate
- The chocolate in this store is not real!
- We’re slowly realizing who this person is
- A very special relationship with chocolate
- Science-based chocolate (SBC)
- The Localized Hot Dog Theory
- A misguided attempt to fix things
- On a journey of misery and loneliness
- The Count de Chocolat
- The Chocolate Touch
- The count’s tale of misery and woe
- Leaving gifts of chocolate for people
- Vilma Vanca, the Countess de Chocolat
- She developed a chocolat empire from his chocolate touch
- The Count was not happy
- He plotted to get away
- He faked turning himself into chocolate
- He then turned her into chocolate
- He wanted to be around people again
- This is a sleepy story
- Real Chocolate Melts With Human Warmth
- The Count tells his side of the story
- He wanted to go to London, which sounded pretty sweet
- He got a house with beautiful balconies in London
- The Waving Man of London
- Lucy wanted to connect and that’s how she turned into a chocolate statue
- Then people want to get rid of the chocolate toucher
- Non-Physical Light Emotional Intimacy
- The Count doesn’t want to turn any of us into chocolate
- The Count needs our help
- This fake chocolate might be the key to the Count’s redemption