1152 – Elephant and Abacus | Make Great Pets Ep5

Notable Language:

• Diurnal Spontaneity
• Rice-Producing Area
• A Prudent Reserve

Notable Culture:

• Welcome Back Kotter
• MAD Magazine
• Puss in Boots

Notable Talking Points:

• Tightly Regimented Spontaneity
• Asha Observations
• Affirming Shuffles

Episode 1152 – Elephant and Abacus | Make Great Pets Ep5

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it's time for a podcast that’s here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff. If you’re new, so glad you’re here. If you’ve been listening a while, welcome back. So good to see you. Trying to think what else…there was a TV show called Welcome Back Kotter. It was before my time, but the…I just know the theme song. Maybe we’ll talk about that in the intro. But welcome to Sleep With Me. It’s a podcast to keep you company in the deep, dark night, a podcast you don’t need to listen to, but there’s no pressure for this podcast to put you to sleep. I’m merely here to be a friendly voice in the deep, dark night while you fall asleep because you deserve a good night’s sleep, because I know how it feels.

 

Oh boy, last night; I was doing some tossing and turning last night ‘cause I had to be up extra-early. 5:00…well, 5:30, but technically I didn’t…5:45. Oh no, no, I was up at 5:45. But anyway, enough about me. It’s about you getting the sleep you need, but I know how it feels. So, structurally what to expect coming up here, we got support — that’s how the show comes out free twice a week — then there will be a long, meandering intro meant to ease you into bedtime, introduce you to the podcast but to be friendly, a kind of a show within a show, and then we’ll have our episodically modular procedural series. I think that one just got reviewed or renewed. It’s not called Time Quest. It’s a reboot of a eighties or nineties series. Medical…?

 

No, that’s the company. Those are two companies. Why can’t I think of the name of the show? Quantum Leap. There’s not any leaping or quantums in this one, ‘cause I wouldn’t even know…I’d have to talk to Paul Rudd if I want to know anything about quantum stuff. Paul Rudd would say, why didn’t you just Google it? I say, oh…and I say, also, I’m Mr. Rudd’s assistant. I’d say so, was…am I gonna get a chance to talk to Paul Rudd? ‘Cause he seems so friendly. I’d just love to hear him talk about quant…oh, this is supposed to be the setup for a intro to a pod…oh boy. So, that’s…so…oh, structure of the show. So, I go off topic…pointless meanders to put you to sleep and keep you company. So glad you’re here. It’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. Thanks for making it possible, my patron peeps.

 

INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts on your mind that you’re thinking about…so, thoughts, thinking stuff. So, thoughts about the past, the present, future. Could be feelings, anything emotionally coming up for you, create…related to those thoughts or self-creating feelings. Spontaneous feelings; everybody says…how about no…here’s an idea — maybe I haven’t thrown this one out there — a new rule.

 

It’s not…I don't have rules; I just have general guidelines, by the way, brain, ‘cause then it goes over all the rules with me at bedtime. How about let’s keep any spontanaity at bedtime unless it’s falling asleep. Let’s keep this…we don’t need any spontaneous things. No offense. I mean, I don't know why my limbic system, my emotions, and my thoughts…they say, you know when you were talking to that person that…you said, wait a second; hello, and then you had nothing to say spontaneously? I got a lot of spontaneous stuff right now. My thoughts are like, I got three hours of new material. My feelings…I say, where were you? Oh, we were just waiting. We’re…for some…a good time to be spontaneous. So, I guess this is more a message for me, or maybe you agree, though.

 

You say, could we keep this…could we save…spon…daytime? Can we make our spontaneity diurnal, or is that…? Nocturnal and…isn’t dinural during the day? Let’s say this; let’s keep our…here’s a more general guideline; closer to mealtimes. Let’s have our spon…or when…how about this one…when I could actually use it, that would be great if…oh, I’m sorry, I’m…oh, so it could be feelings, but I could use…there’s other things on-demand. I have more demanding spontaneity than spontaneity on demand. SOD. It’s a new streaming service; Spontaneity. That does sound like a company, right? But what do you do? We’re a AI-based systems analyst project management guidance system for EQ, Spontaneity. Oh, interesting.

 

Nice pitch. I don't have any venture capital but if I did, it would…okay, so thoughts, feelings, anything coming up spontaneously or that’s there, it could be spontaneous or physical sensations, however they…they’re coming up for you, could be changes in time, temperature, routine. You could be anticipating something. For me last night, it was anticipating getting up at 5:00. I had a few alarms set. I wasn’t even traveling; I just had something I had to do that started at…between 5:45 and 6:00 AM. So then I said, let me go to bed early. Then what happened was I did the old…I just talked about this on another intro, but the intros…I fell asleep for five minutes and then I woke back up, wide awake, then I got back to sleep, but it was…you know, that thing. You know what I’m saying. Some of you can relate.

 

So, whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of it, eventually. There is a reason I kinda go over that part first. I’ll explain it second. But what I’ll do is I’ll send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, and superfluous tangents, which means I’ll go off-topic, I’ll get mixed up. You’ve kinda heard a couple already. I’ll repeat myself, then I’ll forget. I say, was I talking about Welcome Back Kotter and Paul Rudd? You said, you were. So, that’s…oh, that’s what I do. The reason I make the show…this is the important part and why I went through all that stuff about thoughts, feelings, and stuff before I got sidetracked about whatever. I want you to know two things.

 

The first thing and the most important thing; whether you never listen to this show again and you loathe me, I still want you to know you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a place you can get some rest, and the rest you need. You deserve a bedtime you don’t dread, a bedtime you could look forward to or at least feel neutral about, and that’s what I’m here to try to provide or to try to help you set up, and it doesn’t work for everybody. But that’s why I make the show, because your life will be more manageable if you’re getting the rest you need and you deserve. Then eventually if you start getting that rest on a regular basis, you could be out there in the world, flourishing. That makes our world a more positive and beautiful place to be in, and those are…that’s the truth and it’s important to me.

 

You say, why is it important to me? You don’t know me. This is digital. It’s nonsense. I say, okay, let me lay one more thing on you; I know how it feels and I might not know exactly what you’re going through or what you’re dealing with, but I know how it feels as recently as last night. Gotta get up, not exactly in a hurry to get up early, either. Would be ideal to get six or seven hours of sleep. So, I know what that feels like, but I also know the feelings that are below that, right, and that…so, I know how it feels, and if I don’t know or can’t relate to how you feel, there is someone listening right now that probably can and that’s nodding their head. So, you’re not alone. Even though this is a strange…it’s not a antidote for loneliness; it’s just a hand linking together.

 

It doesn’t change that as…in the fact that you say well, there’s somebody else over there feeling lonely. That does make it feel less lonely, I guess. Or there’s somebody else that…they might not understand, but they know what I’m dealing with. They know how it feels. So, those are the reasons I make the show. So, if you never listen again, know that. Then if you really strongly dislike me already, go to sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou, ‘cause there’s other audio podcasts and stuff on there. So, the other stuff you need to know or you could…that might be helpful is the…when you first listen to the show, even if you don’t loathe me, you probably are like, what is this? Why is this…what is this person going on about? I thought this was a sleep podcast.

 

Everybody says it puts me to sleep, but you’re just talking about nothing, and I’m skeptical. I’m doubtful. I’d say, totally. That makes a lot of sense. If you’ve tried a lot of stuff to put you to sleep, why wouldn’t you be skeptical or doubtful? I’m going on and on and on in a intro to a podcast and I already had a pre-intro or a teaser. Yeah, it’s…this show is very different, so let me tell you a couple things. One, most listeners say it takes two or three tries to get used to the show. One of the reasons is this is a podcast you don’t really listen to but you could really listen to it, which is counter…it’s not even counterintuitive; it’s anti-intuitive. ‘Cause you say, wait a second, what? I say yeah, this is a podcast you could barely listen…you could just barely pay attention like a friend that’s calling you.

 

You say, hey, talk to me, but I’m not gonna listen to you. I just want to hear your voice. I want you to keep me company. But you could turn me down to a mumble like a TV on in the other room. But if you can’t sleep, I’m also here to be that same presence, that friend in the deep, dark night, and that’s kinda what ends up working about the show. You could listen if you can’t sleep, but you don’t have to listen. But if you need to listen, I’m here. I’m here to the very end. But there’s also no pressure to fall asleep. This podcast doesn’t actually put you to sleep; it just keeps you company, and suddenly you drift off. I distract you with something you barely need to pay attention to and you know it’s there for you to barely engage you. But if you need it, it’s there. That’s maybe what works about the podcast. I don't know.

 

So, I’m here to keep you company and not really put you to sleep, to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bud, your bore-bestie, your neigh-bore, your bore-bor, your bore-bruh, your bore-friend, your bore-bud. I’m here to keep you company in the deep, dark night, and if you can’t sleep, I’m here either way. The other things that new listeners want to know about is…where is Paul Rudd? A regular listener’s just laughing ‘cause they say, I don’t think…unless Paul Rudd…unless Scooter does a Paul Rudd imitation of Paul Rudd doing a imitation of Antonio Banderas, which would probably be better than Scooter’s…so, that’s a lot of pressure. I don't think Paul Rudd’s appearing on Sleep With Me unless it’s like…’cause I couldn’t do a phone call where I say, can you put me through to Mr. Rudd?

 

I could probably call another Paul Rudd, but that wouldn’t be as…and they say, okay…and they say, what were you call…? I’d finally get through and he’d say, this is Paul Rudd; what’s up, bud? I mean, maybe that’s not how Paul Rudd answers the phone, but he’d say, what’s this regarding? What’s up? I say, I forgot, actually, ‘cause my…all my…I banned spontaneity at bedtime and it paid me…I think it was about quantum something, but I don't remember. Here’s an…here’s a thing; I know that you’re in a fictional film playing a character. Any chance you could take my spontaneous bedtime thoughts, feelings, and stuff? Can’t do it. Okay, thanks. Great talking to you. So…wow, we just got…that was…that went pretty well except for the part where I forgot…and I probably…like I do most things, I eject early.

 

I say, let’s get off…we’ve embarrassed ourselves with Paul Rudd, so let’s just get outta here instead of saying…so, did I just blow it? Could I have been…do you think that was going well enough where I may have been friends with Paul Rudd there? That would have cured everything. Holy…all my problems would be gone. Probably not, though. That’s reality. But that’s what I’m here to keep…so, I’m here to keep you company. I’m an expert in this ‘being a human’ stuff. I got it down. Mistakes? I have not made a few; I’ve made much more than a few mistakes, and all of it was doing it my way. So, okay…oh, structure of the show; that’s what I was trying to explain. Show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Welcome Back Kotter, or whatever I said.

 

Then there’s support for the show so it can come out free twice a week, then there’s support for listeners, then there’s the intro, which goes on and on and on. It’s not part of the support. It’s a show within a show that’s meant to ease you into bedtime. It introduces the podcast to a new listener, but for a regular listener, it can be part of your routine. Instead of putting you to sleep, it could put you to sleep or you could skip it. But for a lot of listeners, they’re either getting ready for bed or doing some other chill activity or getting comfortable. So, the intro is here to do that, to kind of be a transition from being awake to asleep. Then there’s some support between the intro and the show so, again, the show can be free, and then there will be our episodically modular series about how great pets are.

 

I think this one will be about a elephant, which technically isn’t a pet for everybody but in this particular situation, you could classify it as a pet. What else? Oh, so, well…why did I talk about…? My experience with Welcome Back Kotter…I’ve seen highlights of it. Maybe I’ve even seen a episode. Probably…I don't know if they have that on that Pluto TV thing, but they…I know it from buying used Mad Magazines, and I had a comedy album once with TV theme songs that we bought at a garage sale, and that song was on there. So, actually, that was the first thing. My dad would tell me about it; he’d say oh, they say Mr. Kotter or something. I’d say, okay. ‘Cause back when I was a kid, there wasn’t…we didn’t have digital media, so it was like you had to wait for something to come on repeats or something.

 

Then I’m sure when I…it was the eighties, I was buying seventies Mad Magazines and reading those, so I’m sure…I know there was one about Welcome Back Kotter. I didn’t really understand it, but I know the theme song. So, anyway, not important. Why I was I talking about that? Oh, the intro goes…eases you into bedtime. Oh, I think I just wanted to close that conversation out. Yeah, so that’s it. I think that’s everything. Structure of the show…I’m really glad you’re here. I work really hard, I yearn and I strive. I really hope I can help you fall asleep. So, thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to do it for you for free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, it is time for our episodically modular series. I say this a lot, but this one is particularly modular. It’s called…I think…no episodes have come out ‘cause I record these…ideally the show is three months…recording three months before the episodes come out. I think right now we’re at, like, two months. But so…oh, so, but I’m pretty sure this is gonna be called Make Great Pets. It’s not a flashy title and it’s a little bit confusing. That’s good for Sleep…a little behind-the-scenes of how I…I say well, it’s a little dull, Make Great Pets, and…but it does come from…I don't know. But for the time…you say, this is the first time an episodically modular series has changed its title mid-season. ‘Cause I mean, Spice Friends…is that what it ended up being called?

 

I don't even know…so, there’s a lot of times…anyway, this is our episodically modular series, so episodically modular, I don't even know there’s a title that fits it. All that means is you can listen to them in order, but if this is your first episode, don't worry. This is a very straightforward…for Sleep With Me, it’s a very straightforward concept. I did try to pitch it to somebody that doesn’t listen to Sleep With Me the other day, and I stopped…it literally petered out. They were a really friendly, kind person, but they were watching me explain the concept, but they don’t have any context about Sleep With Me other than reading about it. So, they were just…the look on their face, I just…anyway, let’s just move on. So, perfect. That’s how you know you’re onto something. So, this is episodically modular. You could listen to it in any order.

 

Basically, it’s a tale about a character or a hero…a figure named Ren who is in…has gone into a new stage of existence, post-Earth existence. That’s one of my favorite things. Talk about…not only did I stop living in the past and the future, I said well, I need to live in a post-Earthly existence. But Ren has arrived in one of the various stages of post-Earth existence and Ren is part of a training program where…in a new…and Ren will talk about this, I think, but some sort of new assistance. So, most…the theory you would be most familiar with if…maybe, is a guardian angel. There’s…what is that…? There’s stories that say we all have a guardian angel assigned to us to keep an eye out, and there’s been other stories about this.

 

In this sense…this is something similar that’s a new program, the post-Earth organizers and planners and stuff, or maybe…I don't know if…is…that’s a board of directors, or they send it out to Creative and then Creative came back and said, let’s try this; instead of guardian…we no longer are doing the guardian angel program. We’re gonna test-pilot this new program where we send people in their stages of post-Earthly existence into pets of people living their Earthly existence at a major turning point in their lives, but not a super-major turning point. The pets stay pets; they don’t become, whatever…they don’t become ani…auto, whatever…they don’t become…they don’t develop human characteristics even though there’s a post-human Earth human within them.

 

But they can influence the pet to try to influence the person’s decisions at this turning point in their lives, or help them. The reason the details are so vague is because it’s a new program and Ren may be the first person doing this, or a post…do you call yourself a post-person? You say, post-modern. I’m a post-person. I don't know what you’re talking about, post-modern, but I’m a post-person. I’m a post-personist. I’m a post-personist person. I’m a post-person personist person. You say, I’m sorry, you lost me. That’s what this person’s face said when I told them. I didn’t even say that; I didn’t need to. So, that’s our episodically modular series about pets making people’s lives better. It’s really that…it’s really…that’s the…it could have been…I could have just stopped talking there, but then it wouldn’t be Sleep With Me.

 

But speaking of turning points, talk about the red car…talk about a turning point; I was watching an MTV series. I think it’s on MTV. Oh, no, no, I just watch it on…I just, you know, watch it on…it’s recorded by my…the thing I use to watch TV. I’m sitting there and it’s a show I would…I mean, no offense, ‘cause I don’t think any offense is taken. Talk about a great marketing channel. I’m sitting there…I’m not kidding…I’m…sit down to watch a series about people challenging one another in…kinda…it’s like a soap opera and Survivor combined. I had not…I just recently have set aside some time to get back into it in the past three months. Lo and behold, does TJ say we’re gonna do some promoting of another brand. Not only is it a brand, not only is it a movie you’re the star of, but you were in the promo piece. You might be saying, whom or who? I’d say, well, put…you could call him Puss in Boots, but I call him Mr. Antonio Banderas.

 

The friends beyond the binary, the ladies, the gentlemen, the boys and girls, the members of the challenge, and Scooter, I’m here to help you all fall asleep. Thank you for the kind words. Make sure to see my film, if you so choose. No pressure at all. It’s time for a tale unlike the new Puss in Boots film, which will not put you to sleep. It will put you in…on the seat of your…on the edge of your seat. Yeah. It’s time for Make Great…different because Puss in Boots is anthro…I’m getting like Scooter now. It’s time for Make Great Pets. Meow. Thanks, everybody. This is Make Great Pets, and that was Mr. Antonio Banderas. Yeah, catch Antonio’s new movie or any of his films or if you see…you like other cool promos of the film. Talk about a…I felt like I was cracking an Easter egg. Then there was a promo or a separate advertisement during it with Johnny. Anyway, it’s time for…oh, Make Great Pets. Thanks, everybody.

 

Well, hello, everybody that’s listening, whoever you are. This is…my name’s Ren. This is a recording, an evening recording in the subconscious or wherever I am within the pet that I’m inhabiting. I’m guessing if you’re listening to this, you either found the recording, you’re a part of this program, you work for this program, you’re learning about it, or you’re just listening and you’re wondering, what am I listening to? But whatever it is, my job is to kinda talk about what I’m working on, what I’ve learned, the mistakes I’ve made. The mistakes I made, the lessons I’ve learned, and what hopefully you can apply if you’re a part of this program. If you’re wondering what program are you referring to, Ren?

 

Just in case, at some point, I’m assume…I guess I don't want to assume, but at one point there was a…huh, at one point in history there was a place called Earth, a multiple-timeline Earth, with multiple of those timelines, Earth was inhabited and the main sentient being on Earth or…I don't know. I’m not…this is the stuff you probably should have a trainer about. But there was humans on Earth, on these Earths, and there was also…I don't want to get into the power…the spirit and belief systems and that kinda stuff, but there was…and, whatever, but there was different outside entities trying to help this Earth. A few different things were…these versions of Earth and a few…the reason I’m in the timeline I’m in…’cause they said, don’t break the eighteenth wall of belief systems. I said, I don't think I’m breaking it.

 

I don't even have a third eye. But so, basically, there was one version of Earth…or this…if you were on a version of Earth, maybe you want to sit down for the rest of this. You say, we’re…I’m not the only me? I say, yes, you are the only you, totally. Don't worry about it. This may be fiction. Pretend it’s fiction. There was one version of Earth where they had…they said, hey, let’s help these Earth people out with guardian angels. But guardian angels is…if you’re in a post-Earthly existence like I am, you say oh, I didn’t achieve some…I’ve sublimated into something else or whatever. I’m not perfect. Though guardian angels supposedly were well-trained, they weren’t infallible, right? You may or may not have heard of the Penny/Besos/Sears timeline and the…or event, they call it.

 

I’m a little distracted just ‘cause I’m not good at this…setting it up. But what happened with the Penny/Besos/Sears thing was that the…that guardian angel program didn’t work out. They launched another program and this ended up impacting multiple timelines. But the program was that instead of guardian angels, they would have guardian…people who had…guardian red spandex-wearers. Those guardian red spandex-wearers, that was what caused the event in the timeline, ‘cause it kinda disrupted a bunch of timelines, ‘cause they said oh, go ahead. We were keeping you in tight spandex for a reason, but go ahead; be free and run around. Gonna go great. Your second chance is here. So, now…and I don't know how many other…I don't know any of the details.

 

This is just really what I’m gathering, so if it’s totally incorrect, it’s based on…they never debriefed me except on the…some of the mistakes I made. But basically, the world I’m in, they…this was a option and I said, let’s go for it. They said, you want to be a part of this new program? Okay, I paused; you probably didn’t hear it, but I tried to pause internally to try to…so, basically I’m trying to re…there’s been other things that have happened, but I’m supposed to be in a pet to help people at a major decision turning point in their lives, similar to other things you may have heard about other ways…non-Earthbound beings try to intervene in the lives of people in a somewhat indirect way to be helpful. If you’re new to this training program, there isn’t — thus far when I’m doing this — a…you just kind of…you have to do a lot of gathering.

 

There’s not an assignment like in the movies where you go through a dossier and you say, whatever, Birdie, we’re gonna go help…lives here, this…you kind of find yourself inside of a pet and you can’t real…you can only influence the pet. You can’t control it like it’s a puppet. Then you kinda try to figure out, okay, who am I…who needs my help and what do they need my help with? I think the trainers even said, who, what, where, when, how, why is the best place to start. So, let’s get to that. My name’s Cirrus and I’m an elephant. Normally I don't lead with the pet, but I don't know…elephant…I don't normally consider an elephant a pet. I would say that this is interesting ‘cause maybe people use ‘pet’ in different ways.

 

I’m a professional elephant, but I’m…live in the home or…we’ll explain more of my trainer, who is…I don't believe a person I’m supposed to help, and Asha, the daughter of the elephant trainer or keeper. So, those are the whos, I think. I’m pretty sure Asha or…there’s a lot of help needed here. So, maybe her father…but alls I’ve heard of him is called the keeper or father. I’ve worked with her father today, but it’s…seems more of a professional relationship, that…so, I could be someone’s professional relationship and then someone else’s pet. Again, I’m learning. I don't have a professional relationship with Asha. She seems like she’s too…she’s a young human but not a teenager or a tweenager.

 

So, I don't think…she’s not being…at this time, it’s not my understanding that she’s living…her dream is to become an elephant trainer and then we would have a professional relationship, but I don't know the life span of elephants. So, for now, I consider myself Asha’s pet. Okay, who…those are the whos right now and the people of the place I am, which is a place that is dry and dusty. But I think I’ve learned that this is a flexible thing timeline-wise. But you might not find…you may find yourself in a time where you’d say, I couldn’t even tell you what year it was. If I guessed, I’d probably be wrong. So, this is one of those times. I’m not sure when it is. Who, what, where, when…when, but I mean, I know right now…and there is a win for where I am.

 

But the what…who, what, where, when…who, what, where, when, why, how. So, the when is that there’s a lot of…this is a primarily rice-producing area, but there’s…the rice-producing is not going well. There is a ruler and the ruler is, I think, a king. I don't know. I’m not following that too much. But the ruler controls the rice for the region and doesn’t control rice production but the distribution of the rice. They control it very tightly and very stringently. I gathered this because I’ve gone through the town, gone out and…today I was going on a collection to sites where rice was…after it was harvested and stuff, then it goes to a region where I go and pick it up in a sort of bulk manner and deliver the rice. So, I’m like a rice truck, an elephant or a rice truck, you could call me. I guess I’m a beast of burden.

 

I didn’t even…thought about that. So, but I can see the people watching me and I could see the feelings in their…because I’m me. I can see they had very strong feelings about…they say well, I could use some more rice. My family could use some more rice. Also, there’s a lot of people that work for the ruler and they protect the rice. They’re not involved…and they seem like they’ve consumed more rice. They’re very muscular people, the ones defending the rice. There hasn’t been any reason other than hostile looks and grumbling to defend the rice from, but today was my first day. That’s what happened; I got up, was fed, Asha came and patted my head, then I went out on a couple rice trips, and then afternoon…came back, got brushed down by Asha, fed by Asha, then…I kinda live in a stable, and this is where I gathered a lot of my other information.

 

The stable has a lot of…the elephant…so, Asha was playing with me and I kinda had my own little stall in the stable. But people came, Asha’s father and other people, discussing this rice situation and the shortages and the fact that this has kinda been something historically since this ruler took over, that they’ve kept a tight grip. They say well, I need to control the rice for everybody and the situation seems to be getting…and people’s feelings about it are getting stronger and stronger and stronger. They’ve come to the conclusion that they need to do something, but the thing is, this is within a walled…so, the rice is stored in granaries within the palace compound behind walls of the ruler. I think the ruler’s name might be Ruler, which is maybe why…Ruler, Ruler.

 

So, the…they don’t know where the granaries are, and the people working with the muscles, they aren’t from…they’re not…they’ve…they’re hired from outside the region. I guess avoid a conflict of interest…but also, I think it creates a tension between the people of this region and them that’s un…strategic by this ruler. But so, the ruler takes the rice into the palace, puts it in granaries. No one…or, yeah, I guess there’s not a lot of interaction from inside the palace compound…outside. Or if there is, there’s also…so, no one really knows where these grain…where the grain is stored if they could get into it, anyway. But they keep saying, how can they do anything if they don’t know where the rice is stored? That was what the meeting, again, was about, was the frustration with that and saying okay, well, we need to do something to find out where the rice is.

 

The weird thing is, you’d say, just ask the elephant. That’s what probably you’re saying, and I say, I don't know the answer to that, but…so, I guess that’s where we’re at, is short on rice, about to act. Maybe Asha’s not my person I’m work…supposed to work with, but I’m gonna pay attention and listen, and I’ll be back soon to explain more. Hey, it’s Ren…Cirrus again. Ren, sorry. Ren. Getting my name mixed up with somebody else. So, okay, so, it’s day…there’s…a couple days have gone by, I’ll be honest with you, and normally I like to record every night, but I was really tired and not a lot had happened; more collecting of rice and a lot of playing with Asha ‘cause there was some down time, and also Asha talking to me because she’s concerned about her father, because it seems like it’d be a lot of pressure on her father to act.

 

He may be…I may be the only elephant. I don't know; I haven’t seen any other elephants. But so, I don't know if there’s other elephant keepers or elephant trainers or if I’m the only one. But this is considered…they say, you got the elephant. You need to figure out something. I don't know. So, Asha’s concerned about her father, but also, Asha just seems like she wants to help. So, she’s been trying to think of ways to find the granary, and she thought of a way yesterday that played into today, which was to put something…so, I have feet, right, and I leave elephant prints. In the sand it’s different, but as you get closer to the palace, there’s a little bit more moisture sometimes. So, she put something in-between two of my toes, like in-between two of my toenails or toes.

 

She stuck it in there so that it would leave a print pointing in a direction. I don't know, and…with the thought that if I go in the palace — spoiler — then she would be able to go up high and see where I went or see my trail. It didn’t work out that way because what happens is they closed the doors behind me. So, she wasn’t able to see anything. But she’s a good kid. She’s trying. But she keeps saying she must help. I don't know, we played some fun games. She’s very observant and I’ve been trying to find ways to help her through art. That was a way…or through some sort of performance or whatever. But I’m not sure exactly what to do. She seems like she’s wanting to help. I can’t really…I mean, I tried to explain to her the thing of what happens with the rice, but I’m not sure I can explain it.

 

Maybe it’s my elephant limitations? But I tried to do this thing to say here’s where the rice…but I know she’s…this is a weird one because I’m supposed to be…I thought I was…I guess I’m not supposed to intervene, but I know she’s gonna have to find out one more thing and figure it out on her own. So, I don't know, I’m not…I’m give…I’m not explaining it to you either just in case you’re training me, but this will help your brain be in the mind of whoever you’re helping, ‘cause it’s really tough. If I said…I would just tell her, but it wouldn’t help anyway ‘cause it’d be like okay, now we gotta come up with a new plan. Meanwhile, there’s been another meeting and people are getting…so, my understanding is we’re nearing the end of the harvesting season so that…this will be the last chance until the next harvest or what…I don't know.

 

I’m not sure I totally follow everything, but that’s my understanding, is you got…we gotta do something before all the rice is behind all the walls, because…I think because they’re planning on…I’m gonna be involved, but I’m not sure how I feel about that, either. But I’m not here to be a action star. They must have repeated that at my training a thousand times. Maybe they just knew me. They said it’s not about you; it’s about them. So, don’t be an…they said, you won't even be able to do it, anyway. So, Asha wants…oh, the things about Asha I’ve been observing; we do a lot of watching of animals, other animals, wild…well, smaller…smaller beings, and Asha also carries a abacus…abacus wherever she goes. It was from her mother and her mother had given it to her in the past, so it’s like, how she kind of stays close to her mom.

 

She knows how to use it. I’m not sure even…I don't know if it’s my elephant brain or just me, but I watch her ‘cause she’ll do stuff like…with the birds and do some sort of bird math. She does different math problems about stuff outside. So, I don't know, she’s into math and abacuses and natural stuff and talking to me. So, she has a plan for tomorrow, but she hasn’t…she said, I have a plan, so…I think I know what her plan is, but it’s not…I’ll tell you about it once I know for sure, ‘cause that’s…I don't want to assume…anyway. So, I’ll see…I’ll talk to you soon. Hey, it’s Ren…or Cirrus the elephant here, Cirrus the elephant, here. So, today went…it didn’t work out, but it’s nothing major. This is…seems like it’s gonna be a longer assignment, maybe, though there was another meeting tonight.

 

So, daytime; Asha — very brilliant kid — hid on the underside of me because there’s the straps that hold the baskets that I carry, which they use…actually…I think it’s…is that a block and tackle to pull the baskets up on my upper back…? But they can lower them down, big baskets for the rice. They’re almost like sacks. But so, that has to be…there’s a thing I wear on my back, right, that her and her father take off…and that’s where they rub me a lot. But there’s a strap underneath, and so, she created some sort of way to strap herself underneath as well and covered herself in burlap and grey, thinking, I think, that she would go with me and find out where the…where all the rice went.

 

But that’s not how it works, because what she found out, unfortunately, that I couldn’t explain to her, was…she rode with me…but we go into one part of the palace, but then there’s doors on both sides. So, the ruler knows, I don't know, to keep the rice…kinda like if you’re coming from my timeline, like an airlock or something or an…what do they call it? A mud room. I used to…I knew one person that had a mud room, right? This is kinda like that. So, go into this palace; doors are closed. The doors close behind me. There’s a block and tackle. It takes the baskets off of me, puts new baskets on, empty ones, or that’s what happened today. But other times they’ve emptied the baskets and then put them on, and then they send me back. Now, Asha’s father knew all this ‘cause he’s there the whole time.

 

She didn’t ask him about it, but not important. It’s not like…they have a good relationship but they don’t…there’s a tension about this ‘cause he’s trying to act like…he doesn’t realize she’s hiding out listening to these meetings about doing something about taking the rice and finding the granaries. Now, a new person showed up that they had been waiting for that was gonna help them, Colinda, and Colinda’s here. So, they had a meeting with Colinda, and again, she went over…that the time is now to do something. She even brought up…and again, Asha had to really snuggle against me ‘cause she brought up…people were feeling a little bit down and overwhelmed and she said, what are your greatest assets, each and every one of you?

 

People looked around and they said oh, my…the pottery I carry water in or my daughter’s abacus. Colinda sighed and then they said oh, well, our children. That’s why we want to do this, right? She said yeah, yeah, that’s why we’re doing this, but what’s your greatest asset that you have total control over? So, only asset you have control over. Someone, again, said something else, and she said, no. She said, can’t…you are your…your biggest…actually, people had a laugh at that, I think. I said, oh…and she said, you’re gonna…some of you are gonna have to use your biggest asset to get that done. She said to Asha’s father, your elephant should know where to go with…even though he’s like, but the elephant never goes to the granary.

 

She said, well, we’re gonna have to find some way…you’re gonna…you know, she said, you realize…’cause she said, what you could do…you and the elephant could create a big distraction and then the rest of us could find the granary. But we’d put your…your biggest asset would be in use, and…don't worry about it, though. Our community will come together and then we’ll have plenty of rice. You’ll be a hero, your elephant will be a hero. But of course, the father was like, okay, well…and then…but Asha was listening this whole time. So, then she’s like, we really gotta do something. She thought of this one, which was that…and I mean, it was natural from the thing, is like, oh, I’ll just get in the basket. That took me some explaining. I don't know if this is a turning point.

 

I don't think it is, but I had to show her…she explained to me her plan and that she was gonna just…I’ll just hide in the basket and I’ll…she painted…she made something look like the bottom of the basket and she was like, I’ll just hold myself at the bottom of the basket. So, then I had to do a bunch of stomping so she would realize, and it didn’t take her that long. She actually calculated my weight and she said oh, okay, the weight of the rice. She did some math and she said, okay, that’s a lot of rice; you’re right. Thanks, Cirrus. I stomped around. So, then she created a platform. It was already something in her…it was…I don't want to overdo it, but so, she created this platform but she…while she was working on it, her father found out. He said, what are you doing? Then Colinda found out.

 

So, now the…a plan is getting stretched out, that I’m presuming they’re gonna use these to…she’s gonna sneak in and find…and she talked to Colinda and her father and said, well, why can’t I find the granaries? This is how I can find it. He said, well, how did you know the…? She said, don't worry, father…but I want to be a part of this. Her father said no, but Colinda said yes. This could save so much of our resources. Like, our biggest resources and assets could all be saved if we know where the granaries are. Then we could just figure something else out. So, then they worked together. So, I think they’re finish…I don't know, they’ve been working all night, or they’re working on it now. Asha’s sleeping, but she’s gonna go under this platform…fake basket bottom, but…to keep the weight off of Asha.

 

So, I guess I’ll be back to update you. Okay, so, it’s me again, and…good news and other news. So, Asha found out where the three granaries were over the past few days. And yeah, it’s been a while but nothing’s really happened, but now I know something’s happening because…yeah, I do know something’s gonna happen. Almost…harvest is almost done, but not complete. They say, only a few more trips. So, Asha knows where the three granaries are. She mapped them out, re-mapped them, so…the hiding in the basket worked. She would just have to wait. It wasn’t easy for her, holy cow, ‘cause she had to wait in the baskets ‘til the baskets came back. But she’s a tough kid, so, now she’s even tougher. They asked her what she was doing the whole time she was sitting in the basket. She said, math.

 

Today we were watching ants doing some sort of their harvesting, and she said, look at that. She said…she talked about the trees and leaves and how much…and she was telling me the numbers. She learned all this from her mother, right, ‘cause her mother worked in math or abacuses or whatever; numbers. So, she knew the…she said these ants…if only they could…she goes, if we could only send them in to get the rice one by one. She even told them that, but…she said, what if we train the ants? They said, it’s not enough time to train the ants. Then Colinda came up with a plan. This is where I say, okay, I gotta do something, because Colinda’s plan is to adulter the rice or have Asha adulter the rice and continually adulter the rice, and that…I’m not even sure it’s a good plan, to be honest, but that…’cause everybody’s like, but how do we know that the ruler’s gonna eat that rice?

 

She said, don't worry, we’ll figure…she said, trust me on this. But then I get the sense that she’s not being perfectly clear with us, but even if she was being perfectly clear and her plan made sense, I think I would have to do something because I don't think I want Asha involved in that, because she’s now having to choose between something…’cause even she said, well, who else is…? The ruler has the people that work there, the people that work for the ruler. The ruler presumably has people close to the ruler that are not involved with ruling. Colinda doesn’t…said, don't worry. Think about the precious assets in your life, Asha, and do a little growing up. But I get a sense…I’m…I don't know. So, that was one thing. But then the father came one night after this all happened and said, listen, I’m not sure what we should do.

 

I love you more than anything and I can’t have you…I know Colinda has this plan and I know you want to be involved. Do you want to be involved because you’re protecting me? She said, yeah, father, you’re my most precious asset. He said, you’re my most precious asset. I don't care what Colinda says. It’s you first, me second. She goes, yeah, but for me, it’s you first and me second. You have to respect that too, father. It took him a while to get the fact…they basically had to make a deal that neither one of them would do anything, which they eventually late last night agreed on. But then Asha came to me and said, father’s not…at least I bought myself a day. So, tomorrow we have to come up with a plan because…she said…’cause their plan with…Colinda said, let me work on my plan and gathering information or whatever.

 

But so, she’s like, tomorrow we gotta come up with a plan. So, I guess tomorrow’s the day I gotta help Asha for real come up with something. Okay, so, it’s me again. A couple important points, but we’ll see tomorrow. We did…I did help Asha with the only things I knew…the resources I thought I had, which was I tried non-verbal communication via dance. That was my stomping earlier. But I knew she had a thing for the ants, her connection with her mom, and the abacus. I guess I see my role as…those are the important things to her, and she was trying to come up with a plan. But I said, okay, use these resources and come up with a plan.

 

But I couldn’t say that, so alls I could do is I let all the ants…they were already using me to get to a tree, but I stood near a tree they wanted access to and then I just clicked the abacus in a calming way back and forth while Asha lied there listening to it watching the ants. Now, I didn’t have the plan. I did not come up with this plan or have it. I just clacked the abacus and let the ants do their own harvesting using me as a temporary bridge. I felt pretty good about it. I said, well, at least I’m helping these ants and I’m clacking this abacus and it…and then she said, that’s it. ‘Cause her mother worked with the previous ruler, and I didn’t know any of this ‘til she told me. She’s a mother. Like, mother worked with the previous ruler, and that previous ruler, she had lost something and she said, whoever finds the thing I lost will become the next ruler.

 

I think it was something metaphorical, a whole ‘nother tale or whatever. I don't have time to get into it, but the ruler was the one who found what she lost, whatever it was. Oh, you know…everyone else brought her…here’s this gold or here’s this pottery or whatever. She said, that’s not it. But this person knew what it was and she made them know…she said, when you make a deal like this, you have to keep your promises and you have to be willing to make deals. That’s kind of what the ruler’s now using against everybody with this rice, is misusing the term ‘fairness’ and the distribution of the rice. But then Asha was looking at the ants and calculating something. She said, I have a plan. But she didn’t tell anybody her plan. She acted like she was gonna follow through with Colinda’s plan.

 

Now, at the same time…so, Colinda brought her the supplies, she got in the basket, and we brought her off. But it was pretty clear that Colinda’s plan…well, because I went back without Asha. Then tonight Colinda said, oh, why don’t you go rest? We know everything’s gonna be fine with…’cause the elephant keeper was so…not happy about Asha having to go off and do this deed. But the elephant keeper didn’t even realize that Colinda’s real plan was to have Asha not adulter the rice, but that one of the granaries would go up poofy-poo and that would create a distraction so that then they can all go in…so that when Asha comes back, she’s gonna say, now, this time you’re gonna create a fire. Because you could tell by the smell of the stuff…but she told the plan to all the rest of everybody and she said, and then…so, in two nights’ time, one granary will go.

 

But we’ll use the elephant, we’ll get through the doors. I’m gonna break down the doors, according to her, but she doesn’t know what’s come…she doesn’t know that there’s another plan. So, hopefully that plan will work. I guess this is a backup plan. Then everybody else will go to the other two granaries and take them while everybody that worked for the ruler is trying to put the other…water down the other granary. So, that’s what’s happening, but I think…I’m 100%…not 100% confident, but I trust this Asha. I know she’s got a plan. Hey, it’s me. It’s been…actually, believe it or not, it’s been…this is my last night, but it’s been like, thirty nights since I last recorded ‘cause I didn’t think I needed to do the update, ‘cause my job was done, which is weird, but I guess I had to make sure that the backup plan didn’t work.

 

So, Asha never put anything on any rice, any adulterants or anything. What she did do was she had brought some…a cutting thing, a little tiny thing to cut a hole, a grain…side a hole in the basket that she used when she left. ‘Cause she would sneak in and out of the basket, obviously, when the empty baskets came home with me. But she put a tiny hole in the bottom of the basket and then she waited for me to go and collect one of the last harvests. Now, I guess you can’t see this in the sand, but it was dropping just one grain of rice or just about one or two grains of rice. A really tiny hole…all the way back from the collection area to the airlock area. Asha started following me not far behind, and she was filling her pockets and then her…holding her blouse and skirt as a bag and picking up the rice as she’d follow along with me.

 

Basically, they saw…and then the muscle people saw her coming and they said, give us this rice. She said it was falling out of that basket there. Then a couple pieces of rice fell on one of the people’s hair. They said, oh, it’s got a hole in it. They were supposed to inspect it, but the hole was so small, they didn’t see it. They said, give us the rice. She said, well, I want to give it to the ruler directly. She said, don't worry, I’ll make sure that I’ll return it to the ruler and say that you’re not to be blamed. They said, okay. They trusted her because they had seen her around. Also, they…I was in there with them, so I gave them a couple shuffles, like, go get the ruler, right? ‘Cause she was banging on the door. They let her into the airlock ‘cause they wanted the rice. They go get the ruler. Now, this is…I didn’t even realize I was involved in this.

 

Pretty cool that it’s a famous thing. But then Asha told the ruler. The ruler said, hey, thanks for giving me…she said, yeah, I found it on the ground. I know it’s your rice, not our rice. Our rice is the rice we receive from you. She said, so, I’m happy to return it to him. The ruler said, why don’t you keep it? She said, well, don’t you…can’t we trade and make a deal? I found what you’ve lost. Isn’t that part of the thing with the turnover? They said, oh, well, do you want to become ruler? Asha said, no, no, no. Said, well, why don’t you take this rice? There’s probably a couple…that’s a lot of rice. Asha said, I'm not sure. You’re…had an idea because you manage the rice so well. She said, what if you give me one grain of rice today because I’m just a silly little child, and then you double it for the next month? That’s it.

 

Then, so tomorrow, you give me two grains of rice. Then I’ll come back and…or she said, I’ll tell you what; you can send them…bring it to me, ‘cause…for…it was their mistake and that’s how they can make up for it, ‘cause it was a honest mistake. They don’t need anything else. Then they bring me four grains of rice, and then the next day, eight. Just keep going up. But at the third…end of…just for thirty days. You don’t gotta do it any more. The ruler laughed and said, sure, sure, sure. There’s a lot more than eight grains of rice here, though, or even sixteen, even thirty-two. Laughing up a storm. So, the ruler went…and Asha said, remember the witness that…you keep your promises, right? The ruler said, yeah, don't worry. Double the amount from one to two to four…every day.

 

She goes, by the way, it doesn’t go…it goes one, two, four, eight. But anyway, great. Maybe know this tale…I didn’t realize I’d be a part of it. Basically, by thirty days, all the rice had been redistributed to Asha. All three granaries were emptied. Asha said to the ruler, huh. The ruler said, I’m gonna need some of that rice or…the ruler was in a conundrum because also all the people that worked for the ruler needed that rice, but they also saw the deal that was made. Asha said, don't worry. What we could do is…it hasn’t been working the way the rice has been…being distributed. I think we should…Asha actually…this part was not in the famous tale but she said, this is the prudent reserve we would need. She goes, and even if you eat more than we do, this is the prudent reserve of rice, which is only one-third of one granary.

 

We would need that at the beginning of the next harvest, a prudent reserve for a time of shortage like now. But she said the rest of it can be distributed. She said, actually, by my calculations, we’ll have more than that as a prudent reserve if everybody eats what we…normally would eat for our normal intake. But she said, I’ll let you claim this plan as long as you follow through on it. The ruler said, sure. So, that’s the deal. I got to be a part of something. I didn’t really do anything except for clack an abacus, sit there with her, and know that she would figure it out. So, I don't know if that’s a new one that I learned, is that she was able to figure out the solution. I was present for the turning point and…I don't know. So, I don't know what I learned, really, other than I can be involved without being overly involved. So, I’m gonna get some rest. I’m sure I’ll turn up in a new pet soon. But yeah, it’s goodnight for me. Goodnight, anybody that’s listening.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcribed by Leah Hervoly)