1139 – Ensign Ro | Sleep With TNG S5E3

  • Notable Notes

    Notable Language:

    • Riparian Area
    • Resplendent Purple Outfit
    • Military-Industrial Complex Type Stuff (MICTS)

    Notable Culture:

    • The Pesky Pole (baseball)
    • The Yiddish Policemen’s Union – Michael Chabon
    • “Rockabye Baby”

    Notable Talking Points:

    • Not Quite Elevated Background Noise
    • I’m most like Ro Laren
    • Two to Beam Up
  • For Transcript of Episode Click Here

    Episode 1139 – Ensign Ro | Sleep With TNG S5 E3

     

    [START OF RECORDING]

     

    SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for a journey not to the final frontier but into outer space to join our friends in the…not to…not…everybody says this is the one show where The Next Generation is not said. Huh; Star Trek, The Next…if they were announcing the show, they’d say The Next…I don’t know what you’re talking about, The Next Generation. We’re currently flying the Enterprise within our timeline, so…but it’s a popular title. TNG; holy cow, does that…sleepy T…sleep with TNG. It’s time…where are you? Sorry if you’re new. Welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that’s here to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company so that you could fall asleep.

     

    Later we’ll be talking about Star Trek: The Next Generation but in a way that…probably so oblique and incoherent, obviously, that you…it’ll be more like a bedtime story. But this show is here to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company so that you could fall asleep. I appreciate you checking it out. We got coming up here…is some support — that’s how the show’s free twice a week — then a long intro to help ease you into bedtime. This podcast is a bit different. Like I said, it’s to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff moreso than to put you to sleep. You just kinda fall asleep, ‘cause you’re like, this guy’s just rambling on and on and on. Not bad, though. We make the show because we know how it feels in the deep, dark night, and you deserve a good night’s sleep. So, I’m so glad you’re here. I appreciate you coming by, and thanks for making it possible, my patron peeps.

     

    INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether that’s thoughts on your mind, like things you’re thinking of, like thoughts about the past, the present, the future, thoughts that are just there, pesky thoughts — holy cow — thoughts about…when I’m recording this, it’s during the World Series, but there’s something in baseball…I don’t watch a ton of baseball, but it’s called the…I call one of the foul polls the pesky poll.

     

    I’m not sure if that’s…but probably ‘cause…I don’t know. Pesky; that’s a interesting word, huh? Oh, but whatever it is, thoughts, it could be feelings coming up for you…’cause the one thing is…the reason I just changed the subject…sorry about that, fans of pesky. I just said well, you know what? If I was a thought, I wouldn’t want to be call…I don’t know what pesky means exactly, but I don’t know if I’d want to be called pesky, even if I am a persistent thought that’s not soothing about the past, the present, the future, maybe some feelings coming up for you related to those thoughts or feelings that are just there. It could be physical sensations, changes in time, temperature, routine. Whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, I’m here to take your mind off of that and keep you company so that you could fall asleep.

     

    As I said earlier, the reason I make the show is because you really do deserve a good night’s sleep. You know it, but sometimes it doesn’t feel that way, right? So, if you don’t ever hear anything else I say or you never listen to this show again, I just want to reinforce that you deserve a bedtime you could feel good about or feel neutral about instead of one you dread if you’re like me and you say oh…well, I gotta deal with that later. I hope it’s not like it was last night, or oh boy, Sun…it’s Friday; that means Sunday will be here soon. I know how that feels and it doesn’t feel good, or a lot of the other stuff, and there’s a lot of other listeners that are listening right now that know how it feels.

     

    Maybe I don’t know exactly what you’re going through or I haven’t been through it myself, but there’s a lot of us that could relate to it, and that’s why I say that; you deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve the rest you need so your life is more manageable. If you get that rest, that’s a gift to everybody. It really is. So, I hope this show can help, but it just doesn’t work for everybody. That’s the flip side of everything I said, is that this podcast is very different, doesn’t work for everybody, but for most of the people it works for on a regular basis that reach out to me, they said it took two or three tries to get used to the show. So, if you don’t like the podcast or you’re not sure about it, that’s a pretty normal experience.

     

    Or if you’re back…another normal experience is loathing the show or stronger than that and then coming back later on and…say you know what? I’m gonna give that show one more try. Somebody else recommended it to me and I trust their judgment even though I don’t know what this…this dude just keeps rambling on and on and on. But I’ll give it a…oh, okay, this is…really is a podcast that’s always going nowhere. Sleep With Me; it’s always…it’s a podcast that’s running in idle at the same time. The podcaster that’s pesky even though he’s not 100% sure what pesky means or is he comfortable using that term to describe his own thoughts…even the thoughts that could be considered pesky. Because my thoughts would say well, we’re just doing our best, right? I mean, that’s what a lot of it is at bedtime.

     

    What does the best mean? What does doing my best mean for a sleep podcast? Well, I’ll send my voice across the deep, dark night, then I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones which means my voice is not traditionally soothing. It’s more here to be some background noise. Then I’ll go on pointless meanders and superfluous tangents. You’ve already seen quite a few…that’s where I get distracted, I forget what I was talking about, then I talk about something again, then I repeat my…then I say, what was I talk…? Pesky; how do you even…P-E-S-K…huh. You’re right; how do you spell pes…pes; P-E-S, ky; K-E-Y or K-Y? Or is it K-I-E? Pesky pole. I don’t know. Would that be on the left field or the right field? Is the left field on…is it the left field and the right field?

     

    Whose left field and whose right field is it, the umpire’s or the people out there? Not kidding. I mean, if somebody would…if I played baseball or the few times I did, I was…just like you’d imagine, I did not want a ball…I said please don’t hit a ball near me, please don’t hit a ball near me. But they’d say, are you a left-fielder? I’d have to hold out my hand and make an L. Then I’d say, I…this is my left hand. I don’t know. Good question. Okay, so, what was my…what else was I…? Oh, so, I’ll send my voice…oh, lulling, soothing, creaky, dull…pointless meanders and superfluous tangents, all to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff so you could fall asleep. What that means is this is a podcast you don’t really listen to and it doesn’t really put you to sleep. I’m here to be a little bit more than background noise.

     

    I would not call it elevated background noise but I’d say well, it’s kinda like background noise you could listen to but you don’t need to. So, this is a podcast you…you say oh, okay…huh. Yeah, you’re talking about stuff, huh? Oh yeah, you really do go no…you really are in idle and running. Even though this is kinda the original sleep podcast, even though I don’t put you to sleep, I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep. But if you can’t sleep…like I said, I’ve been having trouble sleeping. If you can’t sleep for some reason, I’m gonna be here to the very end to keep you company whether you’re awake or asleep, whether you’re listening or not. So, there’s no pressure at all to fall asleep. Just fall asleep when you do.

     

    I’ll be here to keep you company in a pleasant enough way where you say well, that’s not bad. He’s the podcaster that…the only water he’s endorsed in a official capacity is tepid water. Lukewarm water; that’s…Sleep With Me is the lukewarm water of tepid pod…the tepid luke…you know. Oh boy, is he. It’s a podcaster that loves to say riparian area, and he doesn’t know exactly what that means…except he’d say, would I encounter tepid water in a riparian area? I’m guessing, depending on the time of year, I think…just…and people are like, come on, you know what a…and I say well, I know I’ve seen a sign that said rip…this is a…that described what a riparian area…R-I-P…rip…I don’t know. I mean, this podcast needs some repairing, you know…repairing. But riparian is like, R-I-P-R-I-A-N or something. I don’t know.

     

    I don’t know, I think it’s…means a forest near water or related to a river, maybe, with some water…something. That’s why this is the tepid water of facts and podcasts. So, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff, not to put you to sleep. Again, as I said, if you’re new, it does take a couple tries to get used to the show because at first you’re looking for something that you want to put you to sleep, right? You’ve probably tried a bunch of different stuff. You either heard about this podcast or someone shared it with you or you discovered it on a search, and that’s a place when you’re looking for something ‘cause you can’t sleep…it’s not a good place to be in. We’ve all been there. That’s why I try to make it friendly around here.

     

    ‘Cause you say…or you could be…you could be wearing a pajama shirt that says #1 Riparian Area Fan. You’d say…and I’d say okay, I understand…you could never forgive me. I understand I’ve broken your trust with my vocabulary, and I understand. If you need to move on, you need to move on. But are you gonna move on to a riparian…? Like, some…I don’t know. I feel like it’s some sort of salamander that’s doing that, too, so I say oh boy, are you the only salamander listening to this podcast and I lost…I lost all the salaman…you say, again? No, no, no, all the salamanders that listen to my podcast this time. Oh. What about the other salamanders? Mom, that was…whatever. That was a long time ago. I apologized for that one. We didn’t…I didn’t lose them; I lost track of them in the…and then they moved into our home and became residents with us.

     

    It was…I made our home…I made our rip…our house into a riparian home, maybe. Okay, enough nonsense. So, what else? Oh, so structure of the show; that’s another thing that throws people off if you’re new. So, let me tell you about the structure of the show. Starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, Star Trek: The Next Generation barely…you know, I could barely make something humorous. But the whole start of the show is so you feel seen and welcomed in and you say oh, maybe I’ll check this podcast out for a few more minutes and try, because I am trying to fall asleep. So, thank you for that. Then there’s support for the show so it could be free.

     

    Again, that makes it easier to try out or easier to use it and you don’t…paying for it is optional or supporting the sponsors is…you can do that instead of paying for the show. Then there’s support for listeners and communities around the show and stuff like that, then there’s the intro which is separate from the support, and sometimes…I just…I always say this because sometimes people…they…I don’t know, that it’s like…they lump it all together and then they miss out on the intro. That’s the number-one thing I get from people that are fans of the show, is…the intro’s where their…some of their relatable stuff happens that you get to sleep through. You say, I always thought I was the only one that read signs in wildlife areas and only remembered one or two things about them.

     

    I say, that’s the most relatable thing I ever said, huh? Well, that and you can’t…it’s…and I say okay, well…I mean, those are nice signs for the most part. You know what I’m talking about, especially when they have diagrams. Oh boy. I apologize; I’ve read those signs. I just can’t retain them. I know there’s a lot of you out there, including siblings of mine, that can retain that stuff. They say, no…okay, again, let me go over this. I work in a science museum, so please, in case my coworkers are listening…shout-out to those coworkers at the California Academy. This is a podcast that has no science, but…where was I? I was just sneaking a shout-out there.

     

    So, oh, the intro, then the support…oh, the intro goes on and on and on, one, to introduce new people to the show and you say okay, this is what we’re dealing with. Okay, I know some people like this that can…they can’t make any sense but they keep talking. I say, that’s me exactly. So, yeah, if you had that person on-call and you could use them for a…you say, you couldn’t do that in a normal situation. You say, go ahead and give me a call and tell me about your last…the last few signs you read. Oh boy, so glad…you’re gonna pay strict, close attention to this as I run through these signs I took pictures…I have pictures. You say no, no, I’m gonna fall asleep. Oh, well there’s a pod…that’s not in the social compact. You can’t do that. But I…if you’re gonna tell me about these signs…no, no.

     

    I mean, I could only do it if you’re gonna pay close attention or at least pretend to, ‘cause that’s the social compact. Okay, nevermind. Yeah, I will try that podcast one more time. Maybe that’s what happens to people that go and then they come back two or three years later. So, oh, so the intro goes on and on and on, though, to ease you into bedtime. The intro is actually not here to put you to sleep. Some people fall asleep during the intro, but for most listeners, it’s a little bit of a buffer between your waking time and your sleeping time. If you really start to become a regular listener, you can make it part of your wind-down routine or your getting bed…getting ready for bed or your in-bed-getting-comfortable routine, ‘cause it’s just what’s been shown to work and what’s worked for me most of the time.

     

    Not this week…is like, ease…oh, and I guess part of this week is that I don’t have my full routine. But it just helps. It makes bedtime a little bit nicer. You say well, I got…I’m gonna pet my cats, I’m gonna doodle, and then listen to that podcast guy. So, that’s the intro. Then again there’s support between the intro and the story so the show will be free, and then tonight we’ll talk about Star Trek: The Next Generation, an episode, and I’ll just go on and on and on about it in a very calm, bedtime-story way. Then there’s some thank-yous and goodnights at the end. So, that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show. So glad you’re here. I really appreciate you checking the podcast out and coming by. I really hope I can help you fall asleep. So, thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to do it for you for free twice a week.

     

    Alright everybody, Scoots here. We’re talking about Season 5, Episode 3, Ensign Ro. Oh, the places you’ll go, Ensign Ro. I don’t know, but I’m rhyming so. This episode I saw quite a while ago. I realized we never did it for the podcast and I thought with Cardassians and the Bajorans coming up last week, it’d be cool to take a…learn a little bit more this week, and then maybe we’ll delve into some more Guinan, I think. But this starts off with a haircut or a little trim, the end of a haircut with Picard. Actually, I have it paused, and…who is it? Mr. Mot’s hand is above Picard’s head and you can kinda see where the paint on his hands or the stuff on his hands has come off from touching things. But you wouldn’t be able to see that in a normal show. But yeah, Mot has a lot to say. He’s in the middle of talking.

     

    I like how the scene picks up right in the middle of the conversation. There’s a time when you do, time when you don’t. Wouldn’t you say? Picard kinda sighs, grimaces. One doesn’t always have that luxury, Mot. Gotta choose the time and place. True or false, Mot says. Whenever possible, says Picard. You got lucky. He’s very forceful with Picard’s head, too. Suppose all’s well that ends well. But if I’d have been you…well…and Picard’s like, that’s great. Let’s get outta here. He says one more thing; let me use a laser shaver on your…what do you call those things? Lamb chops or whatever they’re called. Sideburns. Then he says well, Commander Riker agrees with me 100% on how to deal with this stuff. This is Mr. Mot. He’s a blue-faced character. Oh, right along the Cardassian border. Picard gets a call from the Bridge.

     

    Okay, I’m on my way. Then he says something very…actually, you see where Mot — after Picard leaves — kinda sums up the whole episode. He says, I told him we shouldn’t have colonized so close to the Cardassians. Then we see Data’s hand pressing buttons. Picard asks for a report. Some signal went out. We can’t get them on subspace. Upper and lower-band frequencies, Worf? Yeah, I tried; no response. Solarion system…let’s get over there. Twenty-six minutes. 100% of…sorry…uh-oh, Mot told him…I don’t know what that means. He’s the best barber…oh, but then Picard says yo, you telling secrets to Mot? He goes oh, he’s…no, he’s telling me secrets. He’s the best barber, though. Then they get a low-frequency call or low-band call, a terrible frequency. This is the Bajora.

     

    By the way, we took out that Federation colony on Solarion IV and we want…you’re not…you know, you’re not doing what’s right. They say hey, you got…you’re not doing what’s right, so we’re making a move. They zoom on Picard’s face. Stardate 45076.3, Station Alpha. Meeting up with Admiral Kennelly who wants to talk about this Bajoran action. Kennelly’s got a cold…or not a…well, no, a cold, right? Sorry about that. Ginger tea with honey; 80 degrees Celsius. Picard orders ginger tea. Never heard of it, this…Kennelly says. It’s my aunt Adele. I don’t know if it was the Adele…was…I don’t think that generationally would work, but maybe Adele’s grandchildren are Picard’s parents? Yeah, I caught this at a conference with Cardassians. Yeah, they were talking about it. Same old story.

     

    They annexed the Bajoran homeworld forty years ago and took away their…you know, and they’re not happy about it, obviously, the Bajorans, ‘cause they were forced out of their homeworld, obviously. Sorry, a little passive aggressive. Picard’s like…Picard’s very matter-of-fact. Then he says listen, I love the Bajorans. That’s what people always start out saying when they gotta say something…yeah, they don’t have their home planet. This reminds me a lot of…you know, how to talk about something indirectly that’s very…and stressful like The Yiddish Policemen’s Union. Is that the whole title of that book? I read that not that long ago, and…trying to think if that’s the whole title of the book. Really good read. All of this complicated stuff cloaked in…or actually, no; it’s parallel. Enrobed?

     

    I don’t know if it is enrobed in a hard-boiled detective story, but yeah, I don’t know. These are totally different, but it’s a way of presenting information, you know? Chased off their planet by the Cardassians, anyway. Wander the galaxy, Kennelly says, settling wherever they can. It’s too bad, but…and Picard says yeah, they’re not even…no one’s welcoming them, either. Then he says…Kennelly says yeah, but they’re not helping their cause by saying it’s not okay. You gotta be diplomatic about this, Jean-Luc. I need you to do this; find their leader Orta and…any way you can. Picard says, any way I can? That doesn’t sound like…he goes, we can’t allow this to continue. It’s disrupting trade, or…they don’t say that, but that’s between the lines. Well, what can we offer Orta, amnesty? Picard says dude, that’s a joke.

     

    He goes, tell him if he agrees, we’ll work on it behind the scenes, quietly, getting all this settled, legitimate…every legitimate means. The Bajora gotta be patient. Picard says Admiral, they’ve had generations of sympathy and promises. You can’t give them more of the same. He says it’s your job to see to it that he does. Then Riker calls; hey, somebody new…somebody’s coming aboard, a new person. They have orders to join…Ensign Ro Laren. Picard says Ro…the Ro Laren from the Wellington? What is it, a mistake? Then Admiral Kennelly says I wrote those orders. Stay…she might be valuable. Picard says dude, this is my ship. You assign me a new officer, especially Ro Laren? He goes, she’s Bajoran. Picard goes, there’s other Bajorans in Starfleet. He says well, with what’s going on, we gotta do something.

     

    Picard has pretty strong things…she shouldn’t be on a ship, I don’t think. He goes, I’m not asking, Picard. It’s an order. It was a lot of work to get her out of the trouble she was already in. This is an important mission. Picard and Kennelly glare at each other and then Picard says Riker, proceed. Riker…is he kidding me, boss? He goes yes, sir. I’m not kidding you. He goes, I hope I don’t regret this, your decision, Kennelly. He goes don’t worry about it, Jean-Luc. Then Ro Laren transfers in. I don’t know if this is the first time we’ve met Ro Laren. I guess so, because we’ve seen a couple episodes like the one where they’re kids. She says, here’s…I’m reporting. She says it to Riker. She’s got her orders. They say we follow Starfleet code here on this ship, ensign. Take off your earrings. Great performance as Laren. It’s like oh, a real put-out.

     

    Like, are you kidding me? This is how I am. Scoots, which character are you most like? Data? Worf? Ro Laren with…that’s my personality type. Not that I…not…too much like me. I’m not saying…saying that’s what I act like. Ro Laren sighs, rolling eyes, disobeying, doing the opposite. Then Riker and Picard are meeting. People don’t want to work with Ro Laren. Terrible reputation. Well, I’m gonna demand the highest level of performance, nothing less. Won’t be long. Don’t worry, Will. Then Ro Laren shows up. They say, Ensign Laren. She goes, it’s Ensign Ro. That’s the name of the thing. Bajoran custom has our family name first, individual name second. Or maybe I mixed it up, but he says yeah, it’s Ensign Ro. It’s an old custom. Most Bajora, these names…these days accept this assimilation, but I do not.

     

    Picard goes, I want to be candid. Go ahead. Alright, well, I know you didn’t get…do…go…didn’t go great on other ships. Garon II, something happened there. This is a delicate mission. Ro says, I don’t want to be here anyway. Why’d you take the assignment? Didn’t have a choice. Well, I did have a choice, but I was sitting in…it’s better than nothing, let’s just say. She goes, they…this is not my idea. Nor ours, but we’re all gonna work together and we have expectations. Ro Laren says I know the routine. Don’t worry about me. I can…I get it; we’re stuck together. Let’s get it over with. Then we can go our separate ways. We’ll just get this mission solved. Then Riker glare…Picard; nervous face. Oh boy, dismissed.

     

    Supplemental Captain’s Log…going into Valo System on the outskirts of Cardassian…where many Bajoran have resettled. Then there’s a meeting…we got three Class-M planets. Valo III, maybe? Jas Holza lives there. Federation’s dealt with him. Beverly says excellent dancer; met him at a symposium. Jas Holza, actually. Very concerned leader. Good spokesperson, great dancer. Riker laughs. She goes no, I’m serious. There was a party afterwards. Troi says well, at least he’s diplomatic. Big advantage in this mission. Okay, let’s do it. They say Ensign Ro, you got something to say? You’re familiar. You’ll take the con. Ro goes, you’re wasting your time. Jas Holza is nobody. So what if he can dance? He’s a figurehead…whatever, goes to parties. No real influence. Data says who should we speak with?

     

    She goes, don’t you understand the situation we’re dealing with? People don’t want to talk to the Federation anymore. It’s past that. She goes, I’m trying to make sure this all works out okay, but it’s…I don’t know. They say okay, well, what do you think? Picard says let’s solve this problem. Where would you go? Valo II, southern continent. Keeve Falor. Let’s talk to Keeve Falor. No diplomatic experience. Not a dancer. So Picard, Worf, Data, and Ro show up at…Captain Log Supplemental; looking for Keeve Falor. Oh, Picard talks about the history…fifth-grade history of Bajoran architects and philosophers, like how…more…they were way advanced than humans. But…and stop the Cardassian…Cardassians? Cadassians from disrupting that. So, we’re dealing with people…so, Ro gives her jacket to a young girl, then Keeve Falor shows up.

     

    He says bleak, which means move it, kids. Ro Laren? Been a while. She goes, Keeve Falor, this is Jean-Luc Picard, Commander Data, and Lieutenant Worf. Thanks for meeting with us, Mr. Keeve. So, Picard shows he’s learned. Pleased you still remember. Ro, Ensign Ro, let’s check out the camp. They go around, see the leaking water. Hey, we’re just trying to figure out what to do. We’re passionate people. Picard goes, we’re trying to find this Orta guy. Keeve Falor says nah, don’t know. He can’t help you. He goes, don’t…understand, I’m looking for a way to solve this where we can all work together, but you’re bystandards…and Picard goes, but if we’re bystanders, why won’t you help? He goes yeah, ‘cause you’ve been bystandards the whole time as the Cardassians took our planet and made other choices.

     

    We had to flee throughout the galaxy. You’ve been more worried about the designated borders of the Cardassians and the Federation. Picard goes well, we can’t get involved in internal affairs. He goes yeah, we’re be…sentient beings hurting. Picard goes well, I can offer you assistance right now. He goes oh, because of what happened, now you’re willing to do something. Maybe if I had known that, we would have disrupted trade earlier, eh? What do you think of that, Ro? Ro goes listen, you’re a little power-hungry, Keeve. We’re try…we’re all trying to deal with the Cardassians. Maybe the Federation can help now, Picard says, since you’ve had to resettle all over the quadrant. This is not an isolated problem. We can work diplomatically on your behalf. But first we gotta have peace and trade.

     

    Keeve says you talk about diplomacy; my worry is about blankets. I thought they were gonna stay there for the night ‘cause he goes, if you had to stay here one night, you’d understand. Then Picard goes, replicate some blankets for everybody. Worf, Data do that. Worf, figure out what else they need and provide it. Keeve says okay, thanks. Maybe I’ll give you a call. They go back to the ship. If I have any info, I’ll contact you. He goes, Ensign? He heads off. Ro and Picard are there. That was helpful. Blankets were helpful, Ro says. Nothing I said mattered. Picard goes, you know, they could have replicators here to feed and clothe everyone. Ro says yeah, I had to get away. They’re lost, defeated. She goes, I’ll never be. They walk off together. You see a little Southern California…looking good.

     

    Nice height…looked like a nice hiking spot. Captain’s Log 45077.8; Keeve Falor kept his promise. By the way, he didn’t make any promises, but…the moon of Valo I, we’re gonna meet with Orta. Then we’re at Ten Forward. Ro’s by herself having a drink. Crusher and Troi come on and they say hey, can we join you? She’s so much like Scoots; she goes…she’s a little more straightforward. They go, do you mind if we join you? She goes yeah, I do mind. We see somebody drinking out of a thing, then Geordie’s like, I don’t think I want to work with this Ensign Ro. Geordie’s having what looks like tea or coffee. I can’t believe it. She doesn’t belong here. Gotta follow orders. She didn’t even belong in the uniform, as far as I’m concerned. Guinan says, really. Guinan’s in this resplendent purple outfit, really Sleep With Me-style.

     

    She’s like, excuse me, this sounds like somebody I’d like to know. Nobody wants her onboard. She goes oh, hey, by the way, Ro, am I bothering you? Oh yeah, great. Seems like you were somebody that’d rather be interrupted. No, I want to be alone. Then she calls her out; she says if you want to be alone, you would have stayed in your room. She goes, the only reason to come to Ten Forward is to be around other people. Who are you, by the way? Guinan. I tend bar and I listen. Heard anything interesting? Oh boy, everybody’s talking about you. Ro says, interesting. Uh-huh. She goes well, it’s all true, whatever they say about me. Guinan says, truth’s in the eye of the beholder. Says, isn’t that beauty? Truth, beauty; works…it’s just a phrase. She goes, you never told the true story of why you made your choices.

     

    You didn’t even defend yourself. Ro says, what…I didn’t follow orders, so that’s it. My fault. Guinan says, so now you just stare at your drink alone in crowded places? But maybe you enjoy the attention. She goes…so, Guinan just keeps dropping truth on her. Well, you like…just like Scoots; self-flagellating. Who are you? Guinan. I tend bar and I listen. Not like anybody I met before. Guinan says, same with you. Never met an officer like you before. Sounds like we’re gonna be good friends. Guinan says yeah, I don’t usually stick around long enough to make friends. Guinan says, too late; we’re friends now. But I’ll be…I gotta tend bar and listen, so I’ll see you later. Ro gets called by the Bridge. We got a subspace private message coming in…private FaceTime. Go to your room. Ro says, really?

     

    So, Ro heads to her room and she gets a FaceTime from Admiral Kennelly of a subspace transmission and says report. Yeah, everything’s going as you said, Admiral. Then that’s all we see. Then we see the Enterprise, then Picard’s got his jacket on, that jacket from whatever season this is…5. Okay, yeah, we talk about the moons, some interference. We’re on a timetable. Where’s Ro? Not ready to transport out? Already did eight hours ago. Not onboard the Enterprise. They check the log or whatever. Six hours ago, Scoots. Oh. So, it’s Worf, Troi, Data, Picard, then Riker’s overseeing things. He says, what in the double…I gotta say double hockey sticks once an episode. They go down…they go into a rocky area with moonlight and stuff. Looks a little bit like Pirates of the Caribbean, the first scene in Disneyland.

     

    Data’s got some molecular displacement traces, movement in the last ten hours. He goes okay, let’s…standard search pattern. Maintain tricorder link, Worf says. Worf, you’re with me. Picard and then Troi and Data, they start searching a little bit of a set, practical set. They say, practical effects…well, a practical set. The effects are…there is practical effects like lights and stuff. Energy fluctuations…Troi calls Picard; no signal. Data calls Picard; doesn’t work. Data calls Worf; does not work. Signal’s jammed. They go into another room. Picard and Worf are there, busted by mysterious figures at first. Curious poses or whatever…they say yeah, stick around. You’re gonna meet our boss. This mysterious character comes out with Ro behind him. Says Captain Picard, how you doing? I’m Orta and I’ve been through it because of the Cardassians.

     

    So, hasn’t been pleasant. I was a guest of theirs. Picard goes, not necessary to surprise us. He goes well, after I talked to Ro Laren, I decided it was. This was a cool part, a little bit of a buildup. Well, it’s been a disservice. Picard goes, I’m here for peace. Orta says well, I’m interested in change, not peace. I don’t think you are, either. Ro Laren says by the way, I’m here trying to help. Picard goes well, you messed it all up. Ro says, I came…I want you people…everybody to listen to one another. You don’t know all the facts, Picard. That’s when he…Garren or whatever says you don’t know everything. There’s something else at play. The victim of deception? I don’t know what’s happening. He goes, you were supposed to seek out Bajorans that did something to Solarion IV? Picard goes, yeah.

     

    He goes, I already told Ro Laren it wasn’t Bajorans. Picard goes, dun-dun-dun. Then just the look on Ro and Picard’s face…go back to the Enterprise. Riker’s there. They go to the Bridge. Worf’s like, this doesn’t make any sense that they didn’t do anything to Solarion IV. They go well, he has no reason to lie. Troi says that. I detected no fear. Then they go well, who did it, then? Why would anyone want to falsely implicate the Bajora? Data says well, someone…draw us into the conflict. Well, what would anyone gain by that? Picard goes Ro, in my Ready Room. Troi has a concerned face. They go into the Ready Room and Picard goes, you didn’t have permission to leave the ship. She goes yeah, I’m sorry. He goes, this isn’t a discussion. Restricted to your quarters. Dismissed. Go to your room. Ro heads off.

     

    There’s a pause and a breath…grimace…nice, slow scene, then another of…Enterprise circling this moon, Laren in her room in bed, thinking. Doorbell once, doorbell twice…Laren says, what in the heck? I’m trying to lie here and think. Guinan comes in, this time in a blue…royal blue? I don’t know, a very cool…a little bit of…more velvety. What’s up, friend? She goes, why do you always say…? She goes Ro, I think you have your poles reversed. Do you want to talk? She says, there’s nothing you can help me with. She goes well, why don’t we talk? She goes, I got myself into this. I can figure it out on my own, just like Scoots does…tries. Guinan just gives her a caring look. Ro keeps talking. Everybody’s pulling my strings.

     

    Got no control. Hm, Guinan says…sits down, looks at her slow, real slow. Used to silence. She goes yeah, and for people like you and me who have lost their homes, sometimes that’s the way it feels. Ro’s using her fingers to kinda think it out. She goes I’m in trouble, big trouble. There’s more going on here than anybody realizes, but no one’s gonna believe me anyway. I don’t know how to deal with it. I don’t know who I can trust. Even yourself? Yeah, even myself. Guinan says hm, okay. Well,  a long time ago I was in a lot of trouble and found a friend named Picard. She goes, and I mean serious. I had to trust one man. Then we go to Jean-Luc in his Ready Room. Bell rings. Come on in. It’s Guinan and Ro. He goes, she’s supposed to be in her room.

     

    Well, Ensign Ro’s got something that she wants to talk to you about, Jean-Luc. He’s got a pad in his hand or one of those neon-orange things. She goes well, after she’s done talking, she can go back in her room. Why are you involved in this, Guinan? She’s my friend. They just stare each other down. That’s some sort of code but also the truth. Then she looks at Ro, looks at Picard, and heads out. Picard says okay, take a seat. Picard is not shook but he’s…now he’s inquisitive. Guinan doesn’t call a lot of people her friend, so…and Ro says when I lay this out, it’s gonna be trouble for me one way or the other. But I guess this is the way it’s gotta be. I can’t keep it up. Picard goes, what? She goes, Admiral Kennelly came to me and said he’d get me out of trouble if I go on a mission. Yeah, I know that part.

     

    Not the mission we’re on, though, Picard; one secret mission for Kennelly. She goes yeah, your mission’s hopeless and they knew that. My job was to give Orta incentive, incentive you couldn’t offer, one Starfleet couldn’t offer. You know, military industrial complex type stuff? Picard goes, I thought we were past all that. He goes, I find this impossible to believe Admiral Kennelly would do that, escalate the situation. She says, it’s true. I didn’t leave the ship without permission. Kennelly told me to leave it last night. He called. There’s probably a record of the FaceTime. Picard says huh, oh boy. This is…he has to sit down. Doesn’t check his fish tank first, but he tosses his pad on his desk. He goes, that would be a violation of everything the Federation stands for. He goes, you must know that.

     

    She goes well, it was a direct order. I didn’t have a choice. She goes, but also, I’ve been through with the Cardassians. My dad…she goes, I know what they’re capable of and it’s not a rock-a-bye-baby. It’s not blankets and milkshakes. She says so, I know the stakes here. She goes, for a long time that complicated by ability to think about it ‘cause I thought it was my fault, that being a Bajoran was not something to be proud of. She goes, now I’ve realized that those feelings were misguided, but they’re still a part of me. Again, very nuanced. She goes, I don’t want to deal with this anymore. I’m proud of my Bajoran heritage. I serve the Federation, but I am Bajoran. This Starfleet admiral gave me the opportunity to help my people and I had to accept it. Picard glares, breathes in through his nose.

     

    He goes, did you make this offer to Orta? She goes no, because there’s something else not right. Well, especially when you said the Bajorans weren’t even involved. I wanted to get to the bottom of it. Picard goes, wise choice. He goes, have you talked to Kennelly about it? She goes no, sir. I don’t even know who I can trust anymore, but that bartender of yours has a way of getting to you, you know? She said you were her friend. He goes well, we have that in common, Ensign Ro. Picard goes, do you think Orta would cooperate with us to determine the truth? Ro says yeah, I think so. Picard goes okay, good, good. Our orders were to find him and send him…go back to the camps with him, so that’s exactly what we’ll do. Ro says, and then what? Picard goes, we’ll watch what happens.

     

    They go back and forth, then we see the Enterprise. Captain’s Log Supplemental; something’s going on, conspiracy, Picard says, but I’m hopeful we’ll get to the bottom of it in the next few hours. Then he has a FaceTime with Kennelly. Great job. Ensign Ro is invaluable. What’s the next step? We’ll escort the Bajorans to Valo III with Orta and his people onboard. Kennelly says, great. Picard goes, how’s your cold, buddy? He goes, a lot better. Thank you, Jean-Luc. I’m pleased. We’ll report back. Picard out. They say, Ensign Ro, you fly the ship to the coordinates. Data, keep an eye on the Cardassian border. They head out. Bajoran vessel is moving up from the surface. There’s a cut for a little time. There’s a lower shot…on-screen we got the Bajoran vessel. Hail them. They don’t have FaceTime; only audio. Okay, no worries.

     

    This is Captain Picard. We’ll escort you to Valo III. Okay. We can only go half-impulse, though. No worries. Okay, head to Valo III, half-impulse. So, they start going. It’s a smaller ship…purple jets. Data says there’s something going on with Cardassian space; two ships on the border. 152.051. Can you identify the class of ships, Worf? Yeah, those are Galor Class, Type 3. Top of the line. Yeah, they’re coming parallel to our own. Okay, Yellow Alert. Let’s keep an eye on it. Ro, how close are we gonna get to that border? 13,400 km. ETA; eight minutes. That’s where it’s gonna go down. So, we have another little cut scene, we have the ships, then they’re getting…okay, Cardassian ships are changing course. They’re crossing the border. Okay, they’re powering up. Okay, Red Alert. Ensign Ro, intercept course. Call the Bajoran vessel.

     

    They call the Bajorans. Hey, there’s two Cardassian warships. Stay on your current course. Okay, acknowledged. Cardassians are in visual range. Put them on screen. They’re hailing us. Open a channel, Worf. Hey, what’s up? This is Jean-Luc Picard. Who’s this? How can we help you? This is Gul Dalok from Militia 41. We’re here. Hey, great. Love working with you, Gul Dalok. Love the Cardassian neighbors. Oh, so do we. By the way, this is totally what we’re supposed to say. Mutual goodwill and all that. Chop, chop. Picard says, what’s on your mind? Oh, there’s a Bajoran ship. It’s a troublemaker. Picard goes, troublemaker? Oh, we’re certain of it. We know their markings well…of that ship. Picard goes well, we’re watching them, so these are Bajoran settlers headed to Valo III. You can watch us if you wish.

     

    They say no, you need to withdraw and leave this matter to us. Picard goes, this is neutral space, dude. No jurisdiction. They say, nor do you. Picard goes well, if we withdraw, what are you gonna do? He goes, we’re gonna…what do you think we’re gonna do? W-A-R. What’s it good for? Absolutely something to us. Picard goes no, this is a promise. We’re escorting them. They go yeah, but these are people we don’t get along with. Even Worf’s glaring. Picard says we cannot withdraw. They say, any steps necessary. Picard goes, what do you mean any steps? He goes, this is a complaint from your Cardassian neighbors. You have one hour to withdraw. Out. Picard goes, call Starfleet and route it to my Ready Room. Call Kennelly. Then we have a stand-off of all the ships. Picard goes yeah, they knew our course, Admiral.

     

    So strange; our plan, everything. He goes oh yeah, they monitor everything, you know. They got taps and stuff. He goes, but they picked up Orta’s ship, too? He goes listen, Picard, what’s important is to protect the Cardassian treaty. He goes, I don’t see any way to protect the treaty without leaving the Bajorans on their own. He goes, great idea, Picard. Picard goes no, no, no, that’s not my idea. We’re escorting them. He goes, you gotta look at the big picture, Jean-Luc. This Cardassian treaty is one…number one. Picard goes, I see a different big picture. It looks like this; you caught a cold at a meeting with the Cardassians and you were talking about Solarion IV. Oh, we got a common…someone can label them. If the Cardassians can’t find them, maybe you can.

     

    I’m beginning to see that our mission has been in fact to find Orta for the Cardassians, not to help anybody. Kennelly goes, you’ve lost your perspective, dude. We’ll discuss this further when you return but now, direct order to withdraw. The dude’s in his…he’s in a black uniform, Kennelly. I don’t know if that’s his admiral action uniform. Picard goes back to the Bridge. Everybody looks. He goes, Ensign Ro, set a course. 187.102. One-quarter impulse. Riker says, we’re gonna withdraw? Direct order? Picard pulls his shirt down and looks at him. That’s all the yes Riker needs. They head out. The Cardassians move in on the Bajoran ship. They’re moving towards the Bajoran vessel. Hold present course. They make the Bajoran vessel go bye-bye. It’s gone. Big-farmed the vessel, which is probably a billion-dollar ship.

     

    Like, lowest…you know? They say, Kennelly’s calling again. Secure channel. Ready Room? Picard goes no, main screen him. It’s the oldest trick in the book. He goes, what’s your report? Picard goes, Cardassians took out the Bajoran ship. Kennelly goes oh, too bad. Everybody gone? No. Picard goes, no one was onboard. Kennelly goes, what do you mean no one was onboard? Ship was remote-controlled. Subspace relay. He goes, whose idea was this? Picard, yours? No, Ensign Ro’s. I fully endorsed it ‘cause I thought something was up. Then Kennelly goes off the rails. Why would you protect Bajorans? He goes, I’m concerned with protecting the honor of Starfleet. Picard says that. Kennelly goes, what about Solarion IV? Or Kennelly says that, and Picard goes, they didn’t have the technology to do anything to Solarion IV.

     

    Their ships are old and obsolete, man. Like, what are you even…where’s your reality, Kennelly? Couldn’t even have done it if they wanted to. They go well, who’s responsible? He goes, why don’t you ask the Cardassians, Admiral? It’s the only explanation I can think of. It’s a staged thing. Kennelly goes, oh boy. The Cardassians? Why would they do it? Trying to find some…they’ve tried to find somebody in Starfleet like you, Admiral, that would solve their Bajoran problem for them. Someone with just the right naivety. Kennelly looks kinda…glaring. Enterprise crosses our screen. We’re back at the…one of the Valor places. Ro and Picard are talking about…Kennelly will be in trouble. Ro says if he’s on Jaros IV, make sure to tell him to get a room in the East Wing. The West Wing gets hot.

     

    Well, we’ll drop you off in a few weeks. We gotta do some surveys in Sector 21305 first. Ro says, I could get another ship back or something. He goes, do you wish to be relieved of further duty? He goes, I think you should remain in Starfleet. She goes, you gotta be kidding me. He goes, it would be a shame for Starfleet to lose someone with your potential. She goes, thank…this is a second Redemption episode, kind of. This uniform doesn’t fit and you know it. Picard goes well, that can change. She goes, nah. Pass people doing laundry…Picard goes, I noticed qualities that if harnessed and molded, that you have…she goes, don’t count on it. He goes also, you got a great deal to learn from Starfleet, and yeah, Starfleet’s got…she goes, from me; it can learn from me. He goes, that’s a common attitude I’ve found with the best officers.

     

    You’re not there yet, but you could work at it. It’s a interesting challenge. Ro says, and I rarely refuse a challenge. One condition, though. Picard goes, what’s that? She says, that I can wear my traditional earring. She doesn’t say it; she puts it on and Picard smiles. Then he calls the Enterprise. Two to beam up. That could be a Enterprise After…Two to Beam Up. With that, the episode comes to a close and yeah, and another meeting out there in subspace. Goodnight, everybody.

     

    [END OF RECORDING]

Recent Episodes