1124 – Stuffing Day Old Intros | All-Intros
We tuck you in will a bunch of intros from back in the late 700's for a taste of lulls 2019 style.
- Florid Froggy Phonetics
- I put the Arse in Arsenal
- Keystone Kops
- Electric Light Orchestra
- The Legend of Billie Jean
Notable Talking Points:
- Doozy the sentient rollercoaster
- The kids in Stranger Things had the best walkie talkies ever
- Bibs designed for English Lit Majors
Episode 1124 – Stuffing Day Old Intros | All Intros 787 – 787
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and friends beyond the binary, it’s time for the podcaster who, while he’s not seen, he’s barely heard, ideally, or generally kind of heard. I think that would be more correct. Yeah, not seen and barely heard; that was what I would have said if I was more concise, but I’m not. But I’m here so you can barely hear me or just…or rarely hear me. I was trying to think of one more thing that rhymed with that, but I can’t because you know what time it is? It’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.
Hey everybody, this is Scoots. This is an all-intro episode. We run these on major holidays, so I hope wherever you are, you’re getting the rest you need. I know this is the season of time changes and seasonal stuff, but I hope you enjoy these all intros. If you really love all-intros, $10 and $20-patrons get two all…extra all-intro episodes every single month as well as access to all the previous ones we’ve ran on Patreon and to the public, which is a lot. I don’t even…I want to say I don’t even have…know…let’s…well, two a month, so that would be twenty-four a year minimum, but there’s fifty-four…wait, I don’t know. Probably at least forty, fifty, sixty, I don’t know. Great question, Scoots.
But anyway, I’m really thankful for your support and your listening, or just being able to help someone that’s going through something I can kind of relate to, which is weird when I’m recording this; I’ve had quite a few nights of not good sleep, so I’m glad I can be there for you in the deep, dark night, and I appreciate you tuning into the show. Or if you’re tuning in for the first time, I appreciate it, too. You’re in for an interesting journey, ‘cause it’s gonna be intro after intro after intro. Alright, thanks so much for listening. Goodnight, everybody.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time or temperature, whatever’s keeping you awake; work schedule, travel schedule. Whatever it is, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of that.
The way I’m gonna do it is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m going to use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, word…whatever those are where I take a word and I try to pronounce it. It’s almost like too many words are trying…or too many letters are trying to get out of my mouth at the same time, so then they kinda get…what is that called? Backed up, and then they all kinda spill out. So, sometimes I call it word scrambles or word spillage, but it’s more…I guess that’s spillage. What happens after it gets blocked up? Kinda like in a comedy from a silent movie, when all the…I think that was called the Keystone Cops. I don’t know if I ever saw one, but I can imagine all of them trying to go through one door at the same time, and then they kinda get stuck in the doorway and in the hallway to the door.
Eventually they all spill out the other side. Just one part of my brain looks like that most of the time, so I don’t know if anybody can relate to that, having things running around and then trying to go through doors, climbing into car…you know, you say how’d they get all those in…? How’d those cars…how’d they get into one car like that? Then you say, what’s this car doing driving around my brain with these giant signs that I’m supposed to read that say what about tomorrow? You say well, what do you…? Then you say okay, oh boy, I’m trying to go to sleep, actually. I say, good point. Let me…if you’re new, welcome. I’m glad you’re here. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast to put you to sleep. Structurally what to expect if you’re new, is the show starts off with a few minutes of business. That’s how we keep it free.
Then there’s about…a intro. There’s a intro that’s about twelve minutes long. The intro is actually a big part of the show. It feels like something that never gets started, or a buildup, or it’s just kinda…yeah, it’s like that part where everybody’s…you say well, what’s on the other side of the door when they spill out the other side of the door? You say, another doorway. Of course, the brilliance of whoever came up with the Key…they say, another doorway for them to get stuck in. Just when they all get in the other room, then they rush through another doorway. Some reason, in my brain, on the other side of every door is a vending machine. I don’t know, that does seem like an inane detail. Normally that’s something a ‘splainer would use, inane, but I guess part of my brain said I just see a vending machine there.
I said well, it’s interesting. I won't call it inane, though it’s interesting. Okay, well, let’s back it up. So, you have a bunch of Keystone Cops or some other cartoon-like characters. They’re all trying to get…so this is a workplace, like break rooms. No hallways. Maybe it’s a hallway to a break room that they never reach. Oh, just like these intros that you were trying to explain to a new listener. Kind of, yeah, where it’s a metaphor, which you say…could say that is a metaphor. But you say well, I don’t understand what the metaphor is. I’d say, exactly. It’s a visual metaphor. Also, there’s a vending machine there. I’m not sure if it’s…the vending machine doesn’t seem to serve any metaphorical purpose. It’s just there for snacks, or you know, other things like that. So, convenience.
Yeah, especially if you’re caught in…think about it; it may be good marketing. If all of those…let’s say there’s fourteen Keystone Cops, just off the top of my head. Probably wouldn’t be thirteen, obviously. If they’re all caught in the doorway, only four or five of them are gonna be stuck there, so a few of them are gonna be in the back, waiting. They’d say, you know what I could go for? Some nougat right now. Oh boy, I need something with a caramel center, myself. I’m looking for something more in the Nature Valley range. I say look, who would have thought to put a vending machine there? They say, some part of Scoots’ brain that’s inane. Oh, but if you’re new…so, the intro is where I try to explain what the podcast is and go off topic, just…unintentionally, I just did it. It’s also part of people’s wind down routine.
The majority of listeners that I hear from, they start the intro and they get ready for bed, or they’re already in bed and they’re getting comfortable, and you slowly wind down. Some people use it while they’re brushing their teeth, brushing their hair, brush…maybe you’re doing that…maybe you’re brushing your sweaters. I think that’s called something else. Brushing your pets, get a little furmination going on, right? Am I right, pets? Oh yeah, I’m right. But so, it’s a part of a lot of people’s wind down routine, about 2% or 3% of listeners, I think. That statistic changes whenever I remember it. They skip ahead to about the eighteen, twenty-minute mark. That’s when the stories generally start.
More and more people I hear from listen to…listen during…to the podcast during the day, and probably mostly to the intro just as part of a wind down routine at work or in the car. Obviously this is not used…it’s not for everybody. So, that’s the intro. It doesn’t ever make a lot of sense, but I try to get there. I say…and I really can’t help myself. This is just how my…whatever my internal makeup…how my synapses work. I got a synapse full of Keystone Cops running into another synapse. They say actually, Scoots, you just…I just heard from a imaginary neuroscientist who said you just explained the whole…great synapse theory with your Keystone Cops metaphor, once you had the vending machine in there, ‘cause a vending machine rep…okay, actually, I don’t…sorry, neuroscientist, I don’t have time to complete your thing ‘cause I have no neuroscience understanding.
So we’ll have to leave that event un-closed. But yeah, my brain is a bit like…my brain does have synapses, as far as I know, and I try to use them…I try to…and I don’t know, is that where our…? Is there a ganglion…gangly stuff in there? ‘Cause I have gangly and jangly stuff up in there. But okay…oh, so I was trying to explain to a new listener, though. So the intro, you could skip it, but kinda see how it goes. The podcast is kinda meant to be consumed a little bit passively, just like watching Keystone Cops at a vending machine, waiting for the other Keystone Cops to un-jam themselves from the doorway so they can spill out of that doorway, hardy-har-har, right into another one. But sometimes that metaphor, for me, is what bedtime feels like.
I got thoughts spilling into thoughts, I got other thoughts milling around, or I’d say who’s the supervisor? Oh, Lucine. She’s at the vending machine. Okay, well, can’t Lucine come over here and help migrate these thoughts to bed or something? ‘Cause I gotta go…I can’t…I don’t really need to think about spreadsheets or the slide decks, or whatever. Well no, we’re just running around. We don’t have any specific things. We were just yelling sleep…slide decks. Well, exactly. You’re running from doorway to doorway, getting stuck and yelling about spreadsheets. I’m actually…I got my room sixty-four degrees, here. I got three layers of blankets, I got three layers of background noise, I got a cross-breeze, and I’ve…I haven’t used a device in forty-five minutes, I’m reading some…right now I’m reading…rereading a Dragonlance novel, and I’m about to go to sleep.
Could you quit running around? Well no, no, it’s what we do. Okay, well, believe it or not, also I’m not actually in bed; I was actually trying to explain the structure of the podcast. So, I probably should get…why don’t you all listen in while I explain what the podcast is, structurally? ‘Cause next up after the intro…there’s some business between the intro and the show. Then there’s a…usually a bedtime story or a recap. Tonight it’ll be a recap of Doctor Who, an episode…two-parter episode. It’ll be the second-half, about…it’s about spelunking, I think. So, it’ll be good sleep material. I’ll just kinda barely refer to the plot. I’ll say hm, I wonder what…what is that…where is the origins of that word, spelunk? Did anyone…has there ever been a funk album named Splefunk?
Sounds more like…if somebody’s looking…here’s another branding opportunity, courtesy of Scoots and your check for millions of dollars; if you’re gonna open a cannabis business, Splefunk. You definitely need to pay me for that, but you could…that’s probably a good…I’m working on these. Instead of book titles, lately I’ve been coming up with a lot of doozies. Also, I’ll think…don’t worry, at some point I’ll think of a business named Doozies. I don’t know what it is yet, but…’cause I say, what businesses are based on spinning? ‘Cause they say whoa, that one’s a doozy. I mean, is there any roller-coasters named Doozy? Any sentient roller-coasters listening to this podcast named Doozy? Okay, well, get ahold of me when you’re not busy.
I guess if you’re a sentient roller-coaster, I don’t know, does that mean you’re not…? That’s actually…maybe I should come to your universe and help you out, ‘cause it sounds like it wouldn’t be great going in circles all the time. Doozy the Sentient Roller-Coaster; maybe that could be something I could work on. Okay, so where were we? Oh, structure of the show. So, there’s the story, then some thank-yous at the end. That’s what to expect structurally. As far as other things, if you’re new and you’re still around, you don’t need to listen to me. You probably figured that out on your own. I’m here to distract you from all that doorway clogging and spilling and thoughts and saying slide decks…you know, I’m here to take your mind off it, to keep you company as you drift off, so you don’t need to listen to me and there’s no pressure to fall asleep. I’m gonna be here for about an hour. You can line up episode after episode. I’m here to keep you company throughout the night.
I work on the show all the way to the end, so if you can’t sleep, I’ll be here to kinda keep you company, to barely entertain you. The reason I make the show is ‘cause I’ve been there in the deep, dark night, tossing and…I just want to help. I think that’s it. Say, I’m trying to think of anything else you need to know. No, I hope I can help. I really appreciate you checking the show out. Most reviewers say it took two or three times. Sometimes I just read a review in…that’ll be at the thank-yous at the end of the show; the person…they listened once, two or three years ago, said no thank you, then rediscovered the show and now it’s their favorite podcast. So, see if it works for you. Give it a couple tries or give it a try, come back later. I’ll be here to help you. That’s what I want to do. That’s it. I strive and I yearn to help you fall asleep, and here’s a couple ways we keep the show going.
Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, stuff on your mind that you’re thinking about, anything physical you’re feeling, anything emotionally coming up, whatever it is that’s keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off it. It could be something else; travel, work, second or third shift, seasonal stuff, situational stuff which maybe we’ll talk about in the intro. Whatever’s keeping you…yeah, I’d like to take your mind off that.
I think I said that. What I’m gonna do in addition to using repeating phrases is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night, I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, I’m gonna go off topic. But first, if you’re new, let me give you an idea of what to expect, and…welcome. I’m glad you’re here. Welcome to this…my attempt to create a safe place. I’ll give you a couple things upfront if you’re new; this…give the podcast a few tries, ‘cause for a lot of people, the first listens…it’s not a doozy. It’s supposed to be snoozy, right, but it could be a doozy ‘cause you say, is this person…? Why is this person trying to put me to sleep? So, I’ll try to answer that. Are they ever gonna get to the point? I’ll answer that right now; probably barely.
This doesn’t really make any sense; he’s just…and I say yeah, I’m here to keep you company, and here, let me answer a couple of those…or let me elaborate, though usually when I elaborate, I go off topic. So, structurally what to expect; the show starts off with a few minutes of business. That’s how we’re able to keep the show free for everybody. Instead of it being a paid service, it’s just a free service or a optional service. Like, some people pay and some people support the sponsors and everybody benefits. Pretty cool. So, there’s the business, then there’s a intro. Now, the intros are different than the normal introduction to anything, I mean, except for a introduction to a book. Introduction to books; you could expect it to be somewhere between one and eighty pages. Probably in the teens, though.
You say well, what’s a good intro length? I’d say nineteen to twenty-two pages, in my opinion. You say well, is that the forward? I say well, that’s…I don’t know. I don’t know. It could be. Yeah, ‘cause you…sometimes you have a forward and an intro, and you’d say…this podcast, we only have an intro, so that’s good news. But the intro is…it’s about twelve minutes of me rambling and not really getting to the point, trying to explain what the podcast is, but it does serve a purpose, so let me tell you. It’s kind of a optional purpose, so it is meant to be familiar, so you say oh, there’s Scoots rambling, and to ease you into bedtime, ‘cause you might be getting ready for bed. Some listeners are in bed. You’ve had a day of being a human out there in the world, and we all know what that could be like.
So, the podcast is here…or the intro is kinda here to be a slow wind down. Now, a few percentage of people do skip the intro, go straight to the story, around eighteen, twenty minutes, so you could do that, and then some people fall asleep during the intro, which is perfectly okay as well. Then a good amount of people listen to the intros during the day for also a break during the day. So, there’s a lot of ways to use it, but it’s just meant to kinda let you sink into bed, let you get comfortable, and get…start drifting off or get…as you’re getting ready for bed, you have something to listen to. But it’s hard to listen to stuff while you’re brushing your teeth. I know that myself. The good thing is, you don’t really need to listen to this podcast, whether you’re brushing your teeth or you’re already in bed.
You can kinda listen, you can barely pay attention. As my nana says, don’t pay him any mind. You don’t have to pay me…you could just…there are listeners who don’t understand anything I’m saying, or they turn me down to a murmur. So, those are options. Those are ways…so, you don’t need to listen, no pressure, but…and there’s no pressure to fall asleep, either. I’m gonna be here about an hour to give you plenty of time to drift off, so there’s plenty…you drift off; I’ll be here to keep you company, and then you fall asleep whenever you want. I’ll keep talking. You can set a sleep timer; some people set it for thirty minutes, some people set it for forty-five, some people set it for a hour. There are listeners that listen to eight or ten episodes in a row.
A lot of those people are Patreon supporters, but they queue up a bunch of episodes in a row. So, you could do that as well. So, that’s…oh, just so…oh, and also, no pressure to fall asleep, no pressure to listen, but if you can’t sleep, I’m gonna be here to keep you company. So I don’t want you to worry about that, either, that I’m gonna…at any point I’m gonna be here present. Well, technically tonight it’ll be my neighbor, Ray Perkins, and he’ll be here with me, or he’ll be here talking, and he sounds a bit like me because we’re friends, and he’ll be talking about a recent vacation we took. Actually, what’s interesting and that you could say well, maybe making this podcast, I learned some things as I’ve gone on and I’ve gotten to interact with people like you and heard your feedback.
Ray might talk about this, but I think this is kinda the purpose the podcast serves, is to distract you and take your mind off of stuff, ‘cause Ray and I, we took a trip and we got into a airport very, very…like, not even early in the morning. But it was 4:30 in the morning where we arrived, which was actually 1:30 where I live, and I hadn’t really…you know how it is. I don’t want to get into the details, but on the plane it’s not easy for me to get some z’s. It was so early that we said okay, we probably won't get into our…we won't be able to get into a hotel room unless we paid for one proactively, right? So I said to Ray — the airport wasn’t busy — I said, what do you think about us sleeping here at the airport for a little while? We could find a quiet corner; we had sleep masks, I had ear plugs. We said, what a great idea.
I lied down…well, I couldn’t lay down ‘cause of the arm rests, you know? ‘Cause they don’t want you laying down. But I leaned on the arm rest and I was…you know, sometimes I can get…it can be intense when you can’t sleep and you want to sleep, right? But the voice in me that makes the podcast said hey, what if you just sit here and then there’s no pressure to fall asleep? You just rest, and maybe you rest and you sit at the airport and you listen to the airport…like, 4:00 in the…4:30, 5:00 in the morning airport noises, and maybe you fall asleep but maybe you don’t. This voice, this more reasonable part of me that I’ve developed through the podcast, said you know, I’ll…it’ll be fine. Won't it be just as…it won't be as good as sleeping, but if you just rest in a relaxed way, it’ll probably be good for you instead of us having to get to sleep.
Somehow I was able to give myself permission not to fall asleep and just sit there at the airport with my eyes closed and my head in my…my chin in my hands, and eventually I did drift in and out of sleep, but I really felt like I got some rest, and I was relaxed, and I didn’t have any rigmarole about why the hockey sticks can’t I fall asleep here. We rested there ‘til about 6:00 in the morning, and then we had breakfast and stuff. I’m sure Ray will talk about it, but I actually really did feel refreshed, and I think I did probably thirty minutes of that, get some z’s. I’m not…I guess I’m only pointing it out ‘cause it’s…doesn’t usually happen like that for me. I think it was Ray’s presence and also this podcast version of me presence to say hey, what if you just sit here and rest? That’s kinda the job of the podcast.
I say, what if you just lay there and I sit here and I tell you a story and I keep you company, and you just listen? Ideally you listen as long as you need to, whether it’s the whole episode or only five minutes. I’m gonna be here to keep you company. I’m gonna be here to take your mind off of stuff. I got a…well, Ray will…you’ll hear about…it’ll be the most meandering. There’s a long setup; Ray will explain some stuff about theme parks, then we’ll talk about some pools we went to. So, it’ll be kind of interesting. But if you fall asleep, you say well, I didn’t really miss out on much. I’m sure I could re-listen during the day or check out the listener Facebook group, whatever, and hear what happened. But if you…you know, I don’t know. That’s kinda how it works.
I say hey, I’m gonna be here, and you just relax, and I’ll just be here to keep you company. The reason I make the show is because I’ve been there, whether it was on this trip or in a regular time, tossing and turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep; I’ve had it all. I just hope I can help. Now, the catch is, it doesn’t work for everybody. This podcast is not universal and it is a bit different and goofy and weird. I hope it works for you and I hope I can help you fall asleep, so give it a few tries and see if it works for you. See if it takes your mind off of stuff.
But again, my voice and my storytelling method, it’s different, but I hope it’s the kind of thing…they say oh wow, this really did help, or oh, the second time I realized I didn’t really have to pay attention, or that you always don’t make any sense and mispronounce words and stuff, and then…so, that’s it. I’m really here to keep you company and be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-bud, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, maybe one day your bore-bestie, and help you fall asleep. I work…I really appreciate you checking the show out, first of all, and giving me your time. I work very hard. I really take it seriously that you gave me your time, and I…’cause I yearn and I strive to help you fall asleep. Before we get to Ray’s story here, here’s a couple of other ways we keep this show going.
Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is to create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, so things you’re thinking about, things you’re feeling physically or emotions you’re experiencing. It could be travel, could be weather. Whatever’s keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off of that. What I’m gonna do is I got this nice, safe place set up, plenty of room.
I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night, I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones. I don’t know how to spell it, actually; C-R-E-K-Y. Dulcet; D-U-L-C-E-T. So, kinda like rusted, sweet sounds. You say, how’s that…? Oh, that’s what you sound like, actually. I don’t know, maybe I could…I don’t think it would make…I think it would make less sense if I said dulcet, froggy tones. Trying to think of a F word that has nice alliteration with ‘frog’. Florid…is florid a good thing? I think it is. Florid frogs phonetics. Anyway, what I’m gonna do is send my voice across the deep, dark…lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, all that stuff to keep you company and to take your mind off of stuff, just like I said. While you fall asleep, I’m really here to keep you company as you drift off.
So, that’s kinda…I think that’s the short version of it. Now I’ll give you the long version. Now if you’re new, I’m glad you’re here and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. I’ve been doing this show for a little while. But when new people check out the show, just like you, I want you to feel welcome, but I want you to understand if you’re skeptical or you’re doubtful, totally…I totally get that, and let me explain a couple things, ‘cause one, if you’re skeptical or doubtful, you might even be…you might even become more, because this podcast is a little bit different. It doesn't make…if you’re looking for something straightforward or that makes a lot of sense, this one is more…like, you look at it like a cloud in the sky or a wave on the water. You say okay, well, that’s…wave’s not breaking, but it’s undulating.
Then you might watch the next wave, and then at some point you say okay, this is…it’s not super-wavy; it’s just…the water’s undulating. So, can’t really…that’s kinda the podcast. You say, he’s talking but it’s not dramatic with big curves and whooshes and breakwater, whatever that stuff is, the Hollywood style waves you see in all those movies. There’s not surfers…or, what are those things called where you go…? The thing where you go through the…gleaming the cube; that’s a skateboarding reference. Tube…I think going through the tube or something. I don’t know. I’m not very good with…my vocabulary is more geared towards putting people to sleep than making deep…my wave vocabulary, we’ve reached…we’re past the end of it.
I think as soon as I said un…it’s been down…as soon as I said undulate, it’s been…so, try to pay loose attention. I guess that was my main thing. A couple other things; you don’t really need to listen to me, so you could kinda barely pay attention. I guess that kinda goes along with it, but here’s a paradoxical thing; also no pressure to fall asleep. The episode’s gonna be about an hour…the episode’s gonna be about an hour. I’m here to keep you company as you drift off. Then if you can’t sleep, I’m here to the very end. So, it’s kinda like you fall asleep at your leisure. Now, structure of the show…here’s what to expect; show starts off with business. That’s how we keep it free for everybody. Then there’s a intro.
The intro’s about twelve to fifteen minutes, and the purpose of the intro is…it’s kind of a varied…I guess it doesn’t have a purpose, which people have pointed out before. It does have…what’s the difference between having a purpose and having something…you kinda say well, it kinda does some stuff. But so, it really is part of a lot of people’s bedtime routine, like their formula for sleep, as we’re kinda talking about tonight, where you say okay, I’m gonna wind down. I’m gonna start the Sleep With Me podcast as I get ready for bed and I have my tea and I brush my teeth. Or other people get in bed and then they’ll start the show, and they’ll pet their pets, or other people will just start sinking in and getting comfortable and drifting off.
Some listeners skip ahead to the story, and some listeners fall asleep within the few…first few minutes, so it’s kinda…you’re like…and then other people listen as part of a longer wind down routine. Like, people listening in the tub or people trying to unwind during the day. So, initially what works is you test out the podcast, if you’ll have me, is…and most people, it does…do say it takes two or three tries to get used to the show. But it’s just…use it as part of your wind down. Give yourself time to ease into sleep. I guess that’s just part of my feelings around sleep. Yeah, it’s like okay, I like to try this, this, and this together as part of my routine to get a good night’s sleep. So, kinda find out what works for you. So…oh, structure of the show.
So, that’s what the intro is, then there’s gonna be a little business, then there’s the story. Tonight we’ll be cruising around Australia, I think on a magical comforter or a quilt, if I could find a way to personify it later, but…and visiting some nice locations in Australia and talking to them and finding out…yeah, just a sleepy journey, I guess. It’ll be fun. Hopefully I’ll learn some new words, some new slang. That’s kinda the structure of the show. Then when you think about the podcast…I mean, it’s…I make it for you if it can help you. It doesn’t help everybody, but I do believe you do deserve a good night’s sleep, and I’d like to be part of helping you with that if I can. A lot of times, people say well Scoots, what goes into the show, right?
What makes for a good Sleep With Me podcast episode, or how did you work it tonight to make it sleepy? I guess there’s…I’d like to think there’s a lot of fancy stuff that goes in there, like pointless meanders. Oh boy, are they fancy…superfluous tangents, whatever those…phonetically frog-like…frog-like phonemes? Is that even a word? Creaky, dulcet tones…but really, I think in the end, it’s about me being present here with you at a distance you’re comfortable with, like that you know I’m here. Eventually if you become a regular listener, or for the regular listeners, you can kind of feel my presence or sense it, and that you’re…there’s some trust or some security or relief there, and that…it’s almost like a…regardless of whether you’re listening or not, I think that’s kinda what helps fall asleep, is I’m here whether you need me or not.
I said, what’s a good analogy for that? I said well, what about a bedside glass of water, right? ‘Cause you got it there and it kinda slakes your thirst. Even if you don’t need it…at least for me. Usually I have a can of sparkling water that’s lost its sparkles over a few days. The sparkling water that learn…that forgot to sparkle. But having it there…and I mean, this depends on your water-to-air tolerance, but you say okay, it’s there if I need it. Where for me, if it’s not there, or I reach for the can and it’s empty, I say oh boy. It becomes a whole rigmarole, right? Analogy was how does that help the show or describe what it is? I mean, in some sense, the intention…or on your end, the trust or whatever that’s like hey, I’m here to help, is kinda the foundation of the podcast, or the soil.
So, that…I don’t know, that’s what the intention of the show is, I think. But then it’s like okay, is that the…here’s something deep, is like, is that the water or the glass? Which parts…the bedtime story, right? Or…well, so I made myself even more mixed up. I would say the intention…it is not the glass in this analogy, but if you were to stretch it a little bit…or the cup, yeah. We’ll say cup, Scoots; no glasses at bedtime. I’d say okay, got you. I don’t know, am I…? I guess in my…I’m kinda both; I’m delivering…’cause you say, what is a good word for that? It’s the vessel or the…I guess the cup. Yeah. Am I the water or the vessel? I guess I’m the ship at sea. I don’t know, but it is something…if I come up with a softer one. This is an analogy that ran into a pointless meander. But for the sake of efficiency, let’s say I’m both.
I guess the glass maybe…the cup is the structure of the show and the meander…but it’s just…part of the podcast, I guess, is knowing I’m there if you need me to take your mind off of stuff or keep you company, so that’s why it’s optional to listen, but you can listen. You can take a sip whenever you need it, and the cool thing about the podcast…it’s like, you could create a playlist or keep it running all night, so you say okay it’s there; I just have to press Play again, or I use a sleep timer. Also, I don’t know if water has an intention, so that…’cause I’m saying hey, I’m here to help. I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff. So, I don’t know. I mean, ‘cause I’ve been there. I guess water can’t…yeah, I guess water says hey, I’m in…I’m…what are you, 88% water?
I’m 100% water, except for the cup, which is probably some percentage of water. I don’t know. Maybe there’s something with the flowing. The water…I mean, I guess the cool thing is, if water does become sentient, you…wouldn’t water pretty…have a pretty big ego, then? Or some waters? ‘Cause I say holy cow, I’m everywhere, man. You’ve seen…did you know…you know who Brad Pitt is, right? You know who…Brad Pitt is like, 80 or…whatever the actual, factual percentage is? So, I’m kinda Brad Pitt, and people love me. I don’t know, people…have you heard of…people love to…I slake thirst and people frolic in me sometimes. People look forward to seeing me. You know, 90…a lot of percentage of the time, I say oof, I just gotta cool you down a little bit. They like altering my temperature.
I don’t know, I guess…once you said you’re 88% of Brad Pitt is you, I’m like, no wonder your ego is huge. The Hemsworths are probably…oh, you’re…oh, all of…wow, every Hemsworth. Is it Hemsworth or Helmsworth? ‘Cause I always get that mixed up. Oh, you make up all the Hemsworths and the Helmsworths? Okay. Well, that’s good to know. That was water, everybody, recently sentient water. So, I guess that’s it. I’m here to help, I’m here to keep you company, I’m glad you’re here. Like I said, a lot of reviewers…like, 99%, say hey, give it a few tries, see how it goes.
The reason I make the show is ‘cause I know how it feels. I said that already, but…and I want to be there when you reach out or if you’re just leaving…you just have that idea in my sense…hey, that water’s there when I need it. Scoots is here talking. If I need to listen to him, I can. He’ll keep me company. If I don’t, I could either put a sleep timer on or just kind of tune out, and he’s just kinda rambling, keeping me company. He’s my bore-friend, my bore-bae, my bore-bud, my bore-sib, my bore-bestie. So, I’m glad you came by. I’d like to help you fall asleep. I work very hard, I yearn and I strive to do so, and here’s how we’ve been able to bring you tonight’s show.
Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, changes in time and temperature, routine, whatever it is. If you have something you’re thinking about, something you’re experiencing or physically dealing with, I’d like to take your mind off of that and keep you company, be near your bedside, at your bedside, across the room. I could be your…we could be…this is imaginary, but we could be best friends.
I could be on one of those tin cans going across…maybe…actually, maybe that’s something people don’t know about anymore, and that…it was mostly in the movies, from my memory. So, maybe we’ll talk about that. But what I’m gonna do is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, other…things TBD, things to be decided. Like, when I think of them…say well, you gotta put some words in there, Scoots. WTBS; words to be spoken. So, but basically I’m here to goof around and keep you company. If you’re new, here’s a couple of things; this show is silly and a little bit goofy and very different, so give it a few tries. Kinda see how it goes. If you can, just kind of view the first couple of listens as a passive observer.
Ideally you’ll fall asleep. Maybe I’ll put you in a better mood. But yeah, just kinda see how it goes. Structurally what to expect, the show starts off with a few minutes of business. That’s how we keep it free. Then there’s a intro. The intros are around twelve or fifteen minutes, and it mostly consists of helping you…ease you into bedtime by me spending twelve to fifteen minutes trying to come up with a metaphor of what the podcast is, and I haven’t been able to successfully do that in a concise way in 750 plus episodes. But yeah, you could listen to it, and ideally it helps get you comfortable. Some people fall asleep during it, a few people skip ahead about eighteen minutes or so and just go straight for the discussion portion of the show.
Tonight we’ll be talking about Doctor Who, Season 2, Episode 10 or…10, 11, depending on technicalities. But if you say well, I don’t watch that show or oh, I don’t want to be spoiled or doesn’t that show contain…isn’t Doctor Who a traveller? Is it the same Doctor Who with the scarf? No scarf on this one. Good question. That’s a very good question. But no, it’s kinda like I’ll look at the episode…this one actually has a low…this is a very fun episode. It does have low Doctor Who and Rose content, but it was still…it has a full arc, and the first third of the story is…it’s really a heartfelt story from beginning to end. But you wouldn’t know it listening to me talk about it, ‘cause almost we’ll be talking about Jeff Lynne, ELO, things in the back…I say, what is that in the background of that dude’s room? Elton is his name.
Here’s something I don’t think I’ll talk about, but I do wonder where…who…where…who…does Elton have roommates? ‘Cause Elton’s in Elton’s room the whole time. Not the whole episode, but just the…anyway, so that could be…that’ll be what you have coming up. You just got a four-minute sampler of it there. Then there’s some thank-yous at the end. Between the intro and the episode portion there is some business. That’s what, again, keeps the show free, enable…put it out twice a week for your consumption, to put you to sleep, to keep you company, to calm you down during the day. That’s a larger portion of the show, is…you say hey, I need something distract…something…I can’t quite chillax, but I would like it if my L-A-Z-A-R-D brain chillaxed.
So, maybe if I put this podcast on and I say, I got…you got it. The whole idea is to keep you company. This podcast isn’t something you really need to listen to, and it isn’t necessarily something that actually does put you to sleep. It more keeps you company as you drift off. It distracts you, as I’ve been a bit distracted thinking about…so, this tin can thing. So, let me see if I could break it out for everybody. Now, some of you may have lived in the tin can phone era. This was a hobbyist phone, by the way. It wasn’t a actual communication device, like a mass-market thing. But what it was was…let’s see, so some of you may have lived during that era. I guess for some reason…well anyway, it was on cartoons a lot when I was a kid, and maybe one science class you would do it.
But really, the glory users of the tin can phones were either best friends that happened to live in houses next to one another…I guess kinda CBs and walkie-talkies, as in that great Netflix show, kinda did away with that. Even though, come on, I mean, those were the greatest…those kids had the greatest walkie-talkies that ever existed. I mean, I suspended my disbelief for it ‘til just this moment. But before you had walkie-talkies in movies and cartoons, you had a tin can phone. It may have gone by another thing, so if you had either a treehouse or a best friend with…whose bedroom was also ideally parallel to yours and about fifteen feet or less away by window…and you could do this. I bet you one of the great science channels…podcasts…check out Size Show. Maybe they’ve done it. I don’t know.
But…’cause I don’t know what the science behind it is. Sound waves, I would presume. But basically you would take two tin cans, which are also known…were known as soup cans…now I would more call them a bean can, because…I mean, I guess you still buy…I guess I don’t buy a lot of canned soup. I do buy my bean…I do buy beans and tomato…you know, diced tomatoes in cans. But a can that you would buy canned goods in. So, you need two of those, then I think you need a string, and then you need a supervising adult, by the way, always, of course. Then you would need something…I think these used to be in…this used to be a tool that was used all the time. I don’t know if it is necessarily anymore an awl, A-W-L, or I guess a hammer and a nail, ‘cause I can kinda see this, and I’m seeing it in my science book now.
Then what you do is obviously you wash out the can, so you have a open end on one end of the can and a closed end on the other. Here’s another pro tip; you want to probably sand down the inside of the open can, ‘cause it could…just to make sure there’s no edges. We’ve got a responsible adult here. We might as well put them to work. Get sanding, Aunt Sally. So, sand that down, then you take…let’s just say a hammer and a nail. You want a pretty big nail, like the kind they use in cartoons and movies on these…and science books. I don’t know if that’s a double-aught or what, but then you just tap the nail with the hammer, put a little hole in there. I guess not too big a hole, but you know, a hole. Then you put the string through, then reach through the other side.
You knot the string a few times, then you do the same…now, you don’t…here’s probably why I never did it, ‘cause the string would have got all frickin’ tangled…I don’t know if Rob or Josh can get this to Jeff Probst, but maybe this could be a competition on Survivor. Also, maybe…yeah, maybe Survivor tin can communication…they could call the other tribe and say hey, what are you doing over there? I gotta get to the point of what this thing actually does, though. So, you have the string now. You have two tin cans. Alls you do is…and here’s one of my favorite words to say; pull it taut. That’s T-H-U-G-H-T, I think. Then what you can do…and you could whisper, say hey, sibling, sorry about that the other day. I love you so much.
Or if it was a best friend, you would say stuff to them and then you have to…I think you have to put it to your ear to listen, so you should use walkie-talkie protocol and say ‘over’. Then you can communicate just like a telephone or a walkie-talkie, and you should have tons of fun with that. Just don’t get it tangled. Ideally you gotta use it in some situation where…I guess you would have to speak quiet…let me know, those of you that are doing it. I’ll think about doing it with my daughter. I’ll put that on the list of things…I mean, maybe I could…maybe I’m at…emotionally at the point where I could do this…a weekend science project. Maybe I could do it in front of her friends, so they say dad, I wanted a real…I say well, you told me you wanted a phone; here you go, tin can phone.
We’ll run it across…you can’t really run it across anywhere where people are walk…that’s why in the TV shows and the movies, it was always…so anyway, that’s a tin can phone. I think my point was I was gonna try to make that into a metaphor that at least in my…this was all…when you say Scoots, what did you aspire to be as a kid? Well, a treehouse owner, a communicate…having…a member of the Goonies, talk to some…have a best friend. Of course, if it was the eighties, then it would develop one day into a blossoming romance that I talk to by tin can phone, and/or also a parallel…have awesome walkie-talkies, go on adventures. Those things, tin…what would you take, where you said scale it down?
I’d say well, a treehouse and the tin can phone, ‘cause I know the Goonies, they…but then we have the Netflix show, but those kids are already full up, too. So yeah, I guess one of those things. That’s what I’d like. And how…Scoots, how is that a metaphor for the podcast? Well, when you’re lying there in bed, it’s always nice to have somebody to talk to. Ideally, you…but that’s aspirationally. Really, it’s just nice to have someone to take your mind off of stuff, to know you’re not…to not feel alone, and maybe to put that tin can phone to your ear, and they say well, anyway, I was tell…I was talking to my teddy bear about buying shirts. I say well, what size do you wear? How come no…? Then I said well, yeah, why don’t you snuggle up here under my…?
That’s the kind of thing that might take your mind off of stuff and keep you company. That’s the kind of thing we do on this show, mostly ‘cause I know how it feels. I’ve been there. So, I guess that’s kinda the summary of the show. Also, I guess a little monologue about tin can phones, and probably…ideally the e-mails will be coming in with corrections, which I appreciate and I say okay, well, that’s good to know. I would have wondered why…I wondered why my tin can phones never worked. Oh, that…Jeff, thanks for getting back to me. I didn’t realize why that’s…you wouldn’t base the whole season…and actually, Jeff, I didn’t say the whole season of Survivor based on that; I just said it’d be a cool thing. Maybe it could be…maybe instead of…for their family visits, they talk by tin can phone.
You say well, you didn’t earn a family visit, but you could talk to them by tin can phone. Okay. Hello? Oh, that was an imaginary version of Jeff Probst, anyway. Also, this episode’s gonna come out…I don’t even know if there will be Survivor…will be…anyway. So anyway, I’m glad you’re here and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. I work very hard, I yearn and I strive for it, and I appreciate your time. Here’s a couple ways we keep the show going.
Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, feelings, physical sensations, so stuff you’re thinking about or stuff you’re experiencing or coming up for you. But it could be travel, it could be situational. Whatever’s keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off that. I’d like to create a kind of safe place, as I said, where you could just sink in a little bit more and I guess be distracted.
What I’m gonna do is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use these lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders. Believe me, I’ve got plenty of those. I’ve got an arsenal of…when it comes to sleepy equipment, I put the arse in arsenal of sleepy stuff. I don’t know if…I’m…even I don’t…I said, should I chuckle at that or no? But that’s actually…anyway. But so…oh, some of those things will be tangents, superfluous dialogue, a lot of…at the beginning of the show, particularly right now, it’ll be unresolved metaphors. I’m pretty sure our…I don’t want to say I invented that. I’m just the first person that isn’t an English major that’s used unresolved metaphors. Or this is the only place where it’s like…it’s not shade, you’re saying.
Well, the book was full of unresolved metaphors. You say oof, that’s…I mean, that was about as harsh as I said…when you say Byron-esque. I didn’t even know what that meant, but I knew what unresolved…I think…is a unresolved metaphor…is it anything like a simile that doesn’t get finished? I know technically that one kind of did, but you don’t know. Are we in the midst of a metaphorical dialogue right now? Oh no, it’s imaginary dialogue. Wait, so there’s a part of my internal imaginary makeup that was an English major? Oh, wow. It must…did you…’cause that’s great. I’d love to sit…of all my family members, I think my brother Ken would probably make the best English major, just ‘cause he has the ability to retain and discuss discrete things about novels that I don’t necessarily possess.
But I guess an imaginary part of me does. Oh no; you’re…you said you’re an English major, not a…oh, you’re not a good English…okay. What are we talking, like C+? Not quite. Okay, well…do I…is your tuition imaginary and am I in charge of it? We got one out of two of those. Okay, well, we’ll see. Sorry, I got distracted there by…that may be an unresolved metaphor. It’s definitely gonna be unresolved for me, ‘cause I’m like, who’s this English major living in my collective unconscious? Or living in my collective imagination? Imagination…oh, you started an imagination collective. Well, I thought you were an English major. Oh, but you have other interests. Okay, that’s cool. Maybe you could write a novel. Okay, get back to the intro. Thanks. That was the most useful thing so far.
Okay, so if you’re new, those are a couple of the things…ways I’m gonna kinda…I’m here to keep you company and to take your mind off of stuff. That’s basically the basics. Structurally what to expect with the show, that’s when it can become different, because this podcast is outside of the norms of all things, even proper usage of words. I mean, proper use…you say, not only does he have unresolved metaphors, he misuses his imagination. I say, the nuns were telling me that…believe me, they didn’t even know what…they didn’t even know they had it right, ‘cause I just giggled when they said hey, you misuse your…and I say oh boy, if you only knew, Sister. I’d say…but so, where was I?
So…okay, so if you’re new, structurally what to expect; the show starts off with a few minutes of business, then we have an intro where I try to make a metaphor about the show. But really what the intro is is your chance to wind down or fall asleep, or you can skip ahead. Usually around eighteen minutes is the best place to skip ahead to. You’ll be pretty close to the beginning of the next portion of our show. But for the majority of regular listeners, the intro kinda becomes part of their bedtime routine, and they use it as they wind down. Or as more and more listeners use it during the day, kinda just to…they say well, there’s…I wonder what Scoots is doing. He’s probably having trouble resolving his metaphors and that’ll be a distraction from this real world stuff for about twenty, thirty minutes.
So, it’s kinda like an anti-coffee break, because…or maybe not. I don’t know. If only I knew what the correct usage of that was. But I think you know what I mean. But so, if you’re new, give the show a few tries, especially with the intro, ‘cause you say well, you’re not making any sense. I’d say oh boy, you got it right. I say, by definition, you can’t…well, I don’t know if you can…can you or can’t you un-resolve metaphors? I’d say well, have you ever seen me try to fix anything? Resolve that one. I think you…I think you’ll see that there is…you’ll find you’re resolving in my unresolved issues. That metaphor just set me for a spin. It was like being…yeah, you’re right; maybe I should have snuck a simile in there. You’re right, cheap joke brain. Okay, I think I was in the middle of trying to make another point, though.
Not needing to listen to me…oh, give it a few tries, doesn’t make any sense…oh, yeah, give it a few tries ‘cause a lot of people find…they say, what are you talking about, or whatever. But I’m just here to help and take your mind off of stuff, so sometimes it takes getting used to. I’ll come back to that. Then after that, tonight we’ll have a bedtime story, and if you think this intro was off, this will be a Tale of the Tape episode where I have…I pick a movie I haven’t seen in a long time that supposedly some part of my nostalgia, whatever that…where’s that…where’s your nostalgia held? Is that…? I don’t know what organ’s in charge of the nostalgia, but whatever it is, I try to go…I say oh, you say this movie’s really important to us, eh? Well, let’s try to remember the plot of it. That always goes very interestingly.
So, I’ll be trying to remember the plot of The Legend of Billy Jean, which may not even be the name of the movie. It’ll be very bedtime…even if I remember anything exciting, don’t worry, I’ll steer my way around that, like a scooter on beach sand. Then the show will end with some thank-yous and some goodnights. There’s some business between the intro and the bedtime story portion of the show, but really, the whole show is a bedtime story. It’s just a little bit different. Also if you’re new, you don’t need to listen to me. You could turn me…listen…that’s why I also…you give it a few tries, ‘cause you say well, I prefer to listen to Scooter where I can’t hear what he’s saying. I mean, yeah, those reviews are very different.
There’s some people that like to concentrate and there’s some people that like to lower me to a mumble, there’s some people that like to slow the show down, and there’s some people that just kinda listen and fall asleep, and then they listen all night long. There’s something about…so, find what works for you, and there’s no pressure to fall asleep. That’s the other key part about this show. I’m here to keep you company as you drift off, to take your mind off of stuff, to be here at your side. I’m your ally in the deep, dark night because I’ve been there. So, there’s no pressure to fall asleep. That’s why I make the shows over an hour or just over an hour, so you say oh, I got plenty of time. You could queue up episode after episode if you need to, so there’s no pressure to fall asleep.
Here’s the other thing that’s kinda new; there’s also no pressure to like this show, and I want to fully lean into that in some sense. There’s no…there’s only upside. I really want to help you, and if you give it some tries and you don’t, it doesn’t work for you, or you’re already listening and you say Scoots, we’re just not cut from the same jib or whatever. I’d say well, I don’t even know what a jib is, but I do know what a bib is, and I…if there was an adult bib requirement, that’d be…an ABR, they would have signed it for me. I’d say yeah, California passed its first ABR law. ABR-107; the adult bib requirement, just for Drew, Scooter. He’s required to wear a bib from now on. I’d say, great. That’s a law I could get behind. Does it have the little catch thing that the modern bibs have, like the bib trough?
I’d say here’s something; you know, I did see Gavin on a plane, on a regular plane. Southwest flight not that…like, during campaign season. First of all, I spotted his hair literally at four…I said, look…I thought it was a flight to LA, and I said there’s gotta be an A-list celebrity on this flight, ‘cause I…and alls I saw was a four-inch by four-inch patch of hair in the crowd. He was on the flight and I said whoa, man, that’s…I gotta respect that move. But if…I’d say, thanks for…oh, I was gonna say Gav…oh, yes, governor, Governor Newsom, could…do you think I could put messages on the bib, though? Okay, well, we’ll work that out. Great. I don’t know where I was talking about before I came up with that adult bib requirement. Oh, some people might not like me. That’s what I was saying, or the podcast might not work for you.
I have a new thing; sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. There, pretty simple, you’ll find other…some other sleep podcasts, you’ll find some other audio that I’ve used in the past, and then if you…you say well, Scoots, I strongly…that whole bib thing…you could find options to kind of channel that energy, too. So, I think that’s it. I was…ideally I thought I’d have some more things, but I’ll be doing a lot of thinking about this. Say, can I get a copy…? Do I get a copy of that bill with the pen you signed it with since I’m the only person it applies to? Also, who pet…? Oh, my collective imagination petitioned and they got it passed. Wow. The first bill passed…oh, it was a referendum. First referendum passed was a budget of zero. We, the people of the state of California, declare that the passage of ABR…the ABR, adult bib requirement.
It could be altered though, right, for other people. I didn’t realize my…well, I guess I did, I guess. So, I guess that’s it. If you’re new, I really…honestly, I hope this podcast can help you. If you’re a regular listener, I’m glad you’re back. Now you got something else to giggle about when you wake up tomorrow. You say, was Scooter talking about bibs again? I think he was. I think he was talking about…he was talking about bibs he was gonna design for English majors, Lit majors. The Book in a Bib, he’s gonna call it. It’s a new business he’s launching with…’cause he’s required to wear a bib. Some sort of marketing thing. He also said it’s great for exercise. Really increases one or two muscles on your upper shoulder. It’s called…yeah, Book in a Bib. He thinks there will be a big market for baby showers and stuff, too.
Book in a Bib, Bib in a Book. Yeah, that’s the thing. So, there’s another idea. Also, that’s my idea, by the way, so don’t start taking it. You heard it here first; either or either, Bib in a Book or Book in a Bib, or Bibbity Book, ‘cause that’s what I’d say, bibitty-bibbity-book, or bookity-bookity-bib. Lookity-lookity, I’ve got a bookity in my bib. So, anyway, I’m glad you’re here. I really hope I can help you fall asleep. I’m a bit silly ‘cause I want to make bedtime feel a little bit less serious. But I’m serious about putting you to sleep. I work very hard, I strive and I yearn to help you fall asleep, and thank you so much for coming by. Here’s a couple ways we keep the show going.
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