1108 – Two Aces | Lulling with Lasso S1 E6

Episode 1108 – Two Aces | Lulling with Lasso S1 E6

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster…if you’re new to the show, I’m here to take your mind off of stuff, put you to sleep, and give you some distraction and friendship in the deep, dark night, or comfort.  I don’t know; friendship might be too strong a word this early.  What we’re gonna do…this is the beginning of the show, the greeting so you feel…you say hey, maybe I’ll check this podcast out.  If you do, thanks.  Then we’ll do some support for the show, then we’ll have an intro where I’ll over-explain what the podcast is, give you some meanders, maybe even fall asleep during the intro, but it’ll help you wind down.  Then we’ll talk about an episode of Ted Lasso.  It’ll be lulling.  Maybe we’ll learn something from Lasso, but I could tell you, it’ll take your mind off of stuff.  You don’t even need to listen to it.  You could listen to the show as background noise, you could lower me to a mumble.  If you can’t sleep, I’m here to keep you company whether you’re awake or asleep, whether you’re listening or not.  I’m here for you, so give it a shot, see how it goes.  Welcome to Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  Thanks for making all this possible, my patron peeps.

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press Play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m here to attempt to do, what I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake.  It could be thoughts you’re thinking about on your mind, things you’re thinking…from the past, the present, the future, spread…no spreadsheets in bed.  I don’t know why…I guess I do know why they came up with spreadsheets and then bedsheets.  Have some bedsheets, but please no spreadsheets.  Sleep With Me podcast.

 

Some people, believe it or not, they sleep…it’s fine if…duvet only or if you use a top sheet, you’re welcome here.  Even if you do have spreadsheets in bed with you…I guess technically you may.  Not you may…you can do whatever you want, but I was thinking they’re ledgers if they’re actually paper, right?  Or maybe you got an app…here’s a thing…here’s an invention, free invention to put out there; probably would be open-source anyway.  How about something that you can massage your back and your feet with that’s also an abacus?  ‘Cause massagers…a wooden massager, you know what I’m saying?  This makes sense.  Then you could do some calculations if you needed to, but you could also give yourself a little back massage or a foot massage.

 

Today, all in one, abacus and massager, perfect for a mother figure, a father figure day, not a…what seems like a thoughtless gift…bring an abacus…is an abacus…?  It’s not an obacus, and don’t forget to give your shoulders a kiss.  Oh, so whatever’s keeping you awake; it could be thoughts.  I mean, what if you’re…here’s a thing about abacuses or…is two abacuses an abaci?  That’s another question.  Is it…if a abacus goes sentient and starts doing stuff collectively as a group, would it be an abacorum?  Ese orum ese…no, that would be you.  If you’re an abacus and you’re listening, would you be an abacorum?  I have no idea because I don’t even know…subjective; I don’t even know what conjunctive is.  Where was I, though?

 

Oh, whatever’s keeping you awake; thoughts, feelings, it could be emotions coming up tied to those thoughts or emotions that are just there, it could be physical sensations, it could be a change to your routine, time, temperature, guests, you could be traveling, you could have something going on.  Whatever it is, I’m here to take your mind off of that and keep you company, along with all the other people that are listening.  We’re all here together in the deep, dark night in some virtual sense.  Yes, I’ll point that out to my internal critic, maybe yours.  That’s okay, ‘cause this podcast is really just here to keep you company, but the reason it’s here to keep you company is because you deserve a good night’s sleep.  You’re important and your sleep’s important, and that is true.

 

You deserve a safe place where you could get some rest.  Hopefully this show can provide it.  It does not work for everybody.  For most people it does work for, it takes two or three tries to get used to ‘cause it’s so different, and I’ll explain all that coming up.  But I just want to point out the fact the reason I make the show is because you deserve it.  You deserve something nice that’s gonna keep you company so that you could fall asleep and so that tomorrow your life is more manageable, and then as you get more and more consistent rest, you can be out there flourishing.  That means our world’s a better place to be in.  The other side of that is I know what it feels like in the deep, dark night; tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep, waking up really tired…that was today, where I was like, I thought I got enough sleep, but I can’t go back to sleep.

 

I gotta get up, but I want to go back to sleep.  Not only can I…do I know how it feels emotionally and…thoughts and feelings in the deep, dark night; there’s tons of other people listening that know how it feels, and while we might not know exactly what you’re going through, there’s probably one or two other people that have been there, and a lot of us can identify with those feelings.  So, we do kinda care about each other in the deep, dark night.  This is a different way because I’m sending this out, but there is something that connects us all to this show, and it’s important because you’re important.  In the end of the…that’s what connects it.  You deserve a good night’s sleep.  Everybody does, starting with you.  So, that’s why I make the show.  So, the way it works is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.

 

I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, all to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company so that you could fall asleep.  Yeah…oh, point…what are those?  Oh, so pointless meanders and superfluous tangents; I think I kinda gave you a couple of those already.  It’s where I go off-topic, then I forget what I was talking about, then I double back, then I…I don’t really retract my thoughts, but maybe I’ll break down some Latin words incorrectly.  I don’t even know what’s that…that’s called.  I don’t know if that’s congregation.  Something, something con…there used to be conjunction junction, what’s your function?  But it was a train.  It was saying oh, well, I link words or something.  I don’t know.

 

But I don’t know…congregation, congregation…I don’t…I kept trying to think of words that rhyme that have something to do with it, but I need a word-based…when I think congregation, I want to take a word vacation.  But I would probably need it if I traveled to some other country…congregation, congregation, you’ll probably need it when you’re on that vacation.  Maybe not, though.  You say no, we just need the basic words.  Oh boy, I thought this was a sleep podcast.  Oh yeah, so that’s a…those are superfluous tangents.  Creaky, dulcet tones is just my voice.  It’s not traditionally soothing.  It’s more barely listenable.  It’s distracting and somewhat comforting so that you can just kinda barely listen to the show.  That’s the first thing to know, is this is a podcast you don’t really listen to.  You just kinda barely listen.

 

It’s here to just keep you company in the deep, dark night.  Some people listen to me at a mumble.  Some people actually listen to me, ‘cause this is the podcast that doesn’t really put you to sleep.  It takes your mind off of stuff and keeps you company while you fall asleep.  Gives you something to listen to where you’re not involved, right, and that you don’t have any stakes in.  Takes your mind off whatever’s keeping you awake.  You could listen to me barely get through the…say…barely get through the English language; that’s what I was gonna say, and then I even stumbled on that naturally.  That’s just who I am.  So, this is a podcast you don’t really listen to, it doesn’t really put you to sleep, it’s here to keep you company.

 

I’m here to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-bestie, your bore-friend, your bore-bor, your neigh-bore, your bore-bruh, your friend in the deep, dark night.  If you can’t sleep, I’ll be here to the very end.  That’s the thing; there’s a percentage of listeners who can’t sleep.  I’m here for you, or if you need a break during the day, I’m here for you, or if you wake up in the middle of the night, the show and I are here for you, along with all the other listeners.  At least if you put your hand on your heart or you kiss your shoulder, we’re here for you in that way, right?  Saying hey, it’s tough in there.  It’s tough out there, so whether you’re awake or asleep, I’m here to…for you to barely listen to me and not really to fall asleep, but to suddenly find yourself asleep.

 

Now, the other things that can throw people off other than not…this is a podcast you don’t really listen to and that it doesn’t put you to sleep is that the show is structured in a very specific way, and I’ll tell you about that too so that you say oh, okay.  So, the show starts off with a greeting; ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, friends beyond the binary so that you feel seen and welcomed in.  Then we have support for the show so it can come out for free twice a week, over 500 episodes to check out for free, so paying for it is actually optional.  Even if the show puts you to sleep, even if you listen to eight episodes a night, thirty days a month, it’s optional to pay for it.  So, you don’t need to.  So, that’s cool, and the sponsors enable us to do that and the people that support the show.

 

Then there’s support for listeners, so if you’re having a tough time right now, use those resources.  They’re right in our show notes, including international resources you can connect with right now.  Then there’s support for the communities around the show, including learning more and taking action or joining us as a community and taking action, and that’s important.  Believe it or not, these are all things that’ll help you fall asleep as you get out there and flourish, but they’re all optional, too.  Then there’s an intro, which some people lump in with all this different support stuff, but the intro is actually a show within a show where I think I try to unsuccessfully describe the podcast in a concise way, but by doing that, I kinda demonstrate how the podcast works.  So, it’s kind of like I…I say I show how I meander by meandering.

 

I am, therefore I meander.  I mean, that’s what I would say, but I wouldn’t say it that…if I could say it concisely, I’d say I am, there…I meander, therefore I am?  You say, did you say something about yams?  ‘Cause I don’t like yams.  No offense, but…how come Popeye didn’t eat yams?  Then Popeye could say I yam what I yam.  Or if there…is that what…is it that…who Popeye said?  I mean, not to point out something incredibly obvious.  Is there a yam consortium?  ‘Cause there is for a lot of other different stuff, right?  Free idea; I don’t know who owns Popeye at this moment, or the rights to Popeye to use him in a commercial, but maybe think about it and say I yam what I yam.  Or there’s a great chain here in places…certain parts of the United States called Popeye’s not related to the Popeye character.

 

Maybe have some yams.  Maybe add yams to the menu.  I mean, I wouldn’t order them, though sometimes if sweet potato fries at…can be decent.  I’ll be honest, I’ll admit that.  It’s just me, I don’t know.  I like my tubers savory or barely…I don’t like sweet-based…I don’t like my tubers sweet.  So, I don’t know.  How did I get here?  I have no idea…oh, saying…oh, the intro of the show just goes on and on and on ‘cause stuff like this comes up.  So, for a new listener it could be frustrating ‘cause you say when does the sleepy stuff start?  I say well, we kinda ease our way into it to get some distance from the day.  We ease our way into bedtime.  For some listeners, they’re doing some other activity to wind down while they’re listening.  They may be getting ready for bed.  There’s about 2% of people that skip the intro.

 

Probably about the same amount of people are already asleep.  That’s great for both of those groups.  There are people that pay just to listen to intros and people that pay just to listen to the story stuff, so those are other options.  But for most people, they use the intro to ease into bedtime.  They could be in bed getting comfortable, petting their pets, drawing, foam rolling, just laying on the floor.  Oh boy, is…if you haven’t laid on the floor in a while voluntarily…as part of a wind-down process, I’m not kidding, I highly suggest it.  So, check that out.  So, that’s what the intro does.  It eases you into bedtime, introduces the show ineffectively, yes, and it’s different every time.  I could use the same intro or do some sort of concise intro, but my belief is whatever’s keeping you awake wouldn’t be distracted by that.

 

It would say by the way, it’s…that’s…don’t you have an abacus?  Weren’t you supposed to repair an abacus for somebody?  That’s a metaphor.  That’s figurative.  Here’s another…this is another idea coming out of my brain right now, live; Kiss an Abacus Day.  If anybody…if you run a state or even a county and…how about National Kiss an Abacus Day?  It could be National I Yam What I Yam Day.  The Yam Coalition would love that, and that Abacus Coalition.  Bring abacuses back.  I don’t even know…probably is comforting just moving those things and then, yeah, giving yourself…and they say, the new abacus movement; it’s a massager, it’s an abacus, it’s a way of winding down.  Also, we kiss…you know, we keep our abacus clean, but we kiss it every night.

 

Or for those people that don’t, they just kiss it on National Kiss an Abacus Day.  Kiss an abacus; it sounds great.  It does really sound…that’s when I love when this kinda stuff comes up, ‘cause it wouldn’t have come up if I didn’t go off on a tangent four, five, or six times.  But I mean, go ahead and say it with me; kiss an abacus.  It just feels good in the mouth.  Don’t put…by the way, no putting the abacus in your mouth.  It’s just a kiss.  It’s not pretend…abacuses; they definitely don’t belong in your mouth.  Leave them assembled.  No abacus parts in your mouth.  We’re just kissing abacuses on Kiss an Abacus Day, because a kiss…your kiss is on…an abacus’ kiss is on my lips.  Is that an abacus on your lips?  It is.  I kiss an abacus.  It’s a kiss.

 

Anyway, so that’s the intro, then there’s more sponsor support and listener support between the intro and the story so the show can be free, like I said, optional.  So you could check it out, see how it goes, and go from there, or always listen for free.  So, there’s support there, then there’s our story.  Tonight it’ll be looking at another episode of Ted Lasso.  Very lulling.  Maybe we’ll learn something.  We’ll definitely learn how to be kind and…well, I don’t know.  We’ll see examples of that.  I don’t know if…how much…I’d like to learn more from Lasso.  But so, yeah, and then we’ll have some thank-yous at the end.  So, that’s the structure of the show.  You heard why I make the show.  I’m really glad you’re here.  I really work hard on this podcast.  I really yearn and I strive to help you fall asleep.  Thanks again for coming by, and I’m really happy that we get to work with these partners who enable us to come out for free twice a week.  Thanks.

 

Alright everybody, we’re talking about Episode 6, Two Aces, which makes me want to…I’m surprised I didn’t even come up…Two Princes, a very popular podcast.  Also in the nineties…was that mid-nineties?  It was a hit from a two-hit wonder, I think.  Maybe a three-hit wonder.  Catchy song.  Still I say oh, both those songs, they were hits.  One, two Aces there before you.  What are you gonna do?  Just go ahead, Ted.  Music birds…we see a sad Ted.  There’s four shots of Ted from different direct…different zooms, body parts, maybe even.  He takes his ring off.  So, this is an important moment.  Then we see the locker room.  Ted’s late for work.  He has zipper problems.  A sweater…sweater’s on backwards.  We shall.  Sweater problems…sweaty…talks bath bombs…creme brulee honey.

 

Oh, you mean the pet name honey or the ingredient?  Ingredient.  Pet names…arms cross…thank you, sweetie.  No…press conference…Sarah…Trent Crimm…safer…no.  When you assume, you make an arse out of you and me.  Jamie watches…that depends…Rebecca happy with Jamie’s benching.  Loans calling back…Ted says my plan is for my plan to work.  Plan, plan, plan.  He starts to sound a lot like Scooter, like flan, plan, plan.  Word becomes a sound…new kid, Dani Rojas.  Jamie can’t practice; he’s hurt.  Ted…AI practice speech.  Let’s look a couple of these things up right now while we’re running through here.  We’ll start with…that way we’re learning from Lasso live.  Okay, so here’s Allen Iverson.  This is very famous.  I did say to myself, is this a copy of that practice quote?

 

It’s a really great time to talk about Allen Iverson with the success of Steph Curry.  It really makes me want to rewatch some of the classic AI games that Allen Iverson played.  By the way, way, way back when I used to play Dreamcast…whatever…it was NBA…I don’t know if it was NBA 2K or something, but AI was my favorite player.  Let’s see, who did I have?  I had Allen Iverson.  It was the only player I remember.  Oh boy, could I hoop it up with Allen Iverson on the Dreamcast.  Trying to think of some of the other players that I had on my team.  Maybe Sabonis as my center?  I don’t know.  I think one of the Fab Five…maybe even two of the Fab Five maybe were on that team.  Trying to think who I would have had at power forward.

 

I don’t think Michael Finley was my shooting guard, but he could have been, but I don’t know if they were the same generation.  But here’s a quote from just a Google search.  We’re sitting in here and I’m supposed to be the franchise player, and we’re in here talking about practice.  I mean listen, we’re talking about practice.  Oh yeah, it is not a game, not a game, not a game.  We’re talking about practice.  Not a game, not, not…not the game that I go out there and live for and play every day like it’s my last.  Not the game, but we’re talking about practice, man.  I mean, how silly is that?  We’re talking about practice.  I know…so, I wonder…I mean, I’m sure that people talked about this when that episode came out.  Well, I guess I should finish…and we’re talking about practice, and I know I’m supposed to be there.

 

I know I’m supposed to lead by example.  I know that, and I’m not.  I’m not shoving it aside, you know, like it doesn’t mean anything.  I know it’s important.  I do, I honestly do, but we’re talking about practice, man.  What are we talking about?  Practice.  We’re talking about practice, man.  Let me just double-check.  Oh no, that’s a different AI quote.  Let me just double-check one more.  We’re sitting in here and…yeah, so I guess it was slightly quote…I may have already looked that up, too.  Oh, if you don’t know who Allen Iverson is, Allen Iverson was a epic Philadelphia 76ers player.  Oh yeah, let’s look that…let’s do Allen Iverson on Wikipedia while we’re here.  Allen Iverson…oh, AI are the…you know, we’re the same vintage.  So, AI played from ‘96 to 2001, went to Georgetown.  First overall pick in 1996.

 

So I guess as a…so, I guess I didn’t realize…I forgot that Allen Iverson went to Georgetown, since I was a Syracuse fan.  But the 76ers I got love for.  Four-time scoring champion ‘98 to ‘99, 2000 to 2001, 2001 to 2002, and 2004 to ‘05.  Prolific scorer.  Regular scoring 26.7 and playoff 29.7, second only to Jordan.  He was MVP in 2000…2000, 2001.  Led his team to the 2001 NBA Finals.  Represented the US in 2004.  Yeah, so that’s a little bit about Allen Iverson.  Oh, there’s also one of my favorite new kid…this is one of my favorite set of lyrics from a old ‘97 song, The New Kid.  I like the live and wired version if you’re gonna stream it.  The new kid, he’s got money, the money I deserve.  He’s got the goods, but he’s no good for his word.  I should be rolling in it.  I’ve been working stiff.

 

As for the justice, no one knows where it went.  I’m gonna toil away until my judgement day.  I will be rewarded for the good things I’ve done.  Believe me every year, there is another one here.  Don’t you see I used to be the new kid?  I’m sorry you’ll…to say you’ll get carried away.  You will be replaced, you will be replaced.  I’ll tell you again, don’t get too settled in.  You will be replaced, you will be replaced.  The new kid, he’s got my girl, the girl I used to have.  He’s got the looks, you know, got them from his dad.  Definitely my favorite verse.  I should be kissing that girl.  We should be so in love.  There is no justice; there’s just dark stars above.  Then everything repeats.  So, that’s The New Kid.  Is there something else I wanted to look up while we were in there?  No, I think this is probably good for right now.

 

I definitely didn’t want to miss that AI speech.  So, Jamie basically says I’m not going to practice, and Ted’s…he says I’m hurt, and then Ted’s the one that gets…does the practice speech.  So, it’s also flipping on its head, because…but Jamie is the franchise player at the start of the episode.  Really, Ted, it’s just practice.  The room gets quiet.  It ain’t all about that, all practice.  Not a game we’re talking about; practice.  Here we are talking about practice, not a game.  Beard smiles and watches.  Ted’s really mad.  Out and…something.  Off-kilter shot.  Oh yeah, there’s one shot that’s off-kilter.  Show’s how off-kilter Ted is, I guess.  Go set up the cones.  Colin, go set up the cones for me.  You set them up.  You’re the second team, man.  Roy says to Jamie it’s gotta sting.  Cheers.  Nate loves it.

 

A little too…oh, nine…non schadenfreude zone…no schadenfreude zone.  Then they set up this Dani Rojas.  Is he any good?  He’s been hurt since he got here.  Hurt is…Nate laughs.  Oh, kinda like Jamie hurt…oh, if he’s good, it would hurt Jamie’s soul.  Nate laughs at that.  Dani Rojas and music…he is music.  You say it, I do it.  Football is life.  Goal…football is life.  Roy…again, see that?  He seems very good.  Cheers again.  So, Dani Rojas is such a interesting character to introduce, and while he’s not so much one of the lead players, which I would say goes to Jamie, Roy, and Sam, he does get some action.  I think it’s just interesting kinda seeing the nuance they’re able…again, the difficulty of making the show; so you have Ted who’s…I would even say…Beard’s a little crusty, right?

 

But you have Ted, you have Higgins, you have Sam, and now you have Dani Rojas, all…and I would even say Keeley.  So, that’s five different nuances of heroic, goodhearted characters.  I mean, that’s also to say that Beard, Roy, and Nate…well, people might not agree…or Nate and Jamie all have big hearts too, and Rebecca.  I’m probably missing some people, but…so, I don’t know.  I just think it’s interesting.  So, Dani Rojas is this pure energy and love of the game and of life, and joy and play.  So, he’s this vision of positivity, but in a very specific way, where Sam’s a very positive person…more…I’d say a little more intellectual.  Maybe Dani Rojas is more physical emotional?  I don’t know, and then Ted is more of just an optimist.  I’d say Sam is slightly more intellectual than Ted.

 

I’m not…not on a value system; just the way Sam processes things.  Or, more Sam’s intellect is grounded in the way the real world…?  I don’t know.  So, football is life, cheers again.  Higgins gathers jokes?  I don’t know what that is.  Gathers something.  Oh, gathers people looking for jobs?  Keeley does…has done a deep dive on players.  She’s got a planner.  They all laugh at Higgins.  See if you are okay.  Wanted to comfort you.  Mad fit.  Oh, she’s trying to comfort Rebecca because of the paper.  Something for Rebecca…new Rebecca?  All Rebecca…old Rebecca quiet.  What?  Zoom.  Oh, so Keeley whispers it.  Nate…lip mouth more.  I don’t know what that…is that what that says?  Noid…lip mouth mo…Jamie picks up cones.  It’s crossbar on purpose.  Dani does it, too.  So, it’s kinda like a goat-type game, or a horse.

 

I guess it’s horse, right?  Or elephant?  You try to repeat a trick shot.  So, Dani does it.  1-1; your turn, amigo.  Jamie hits the crossbar again.  Dani hits again.  2-2.  Si, senor.  Left post, Jamie says.  Dani matches it, then Jamie goes back to the crossbar, misses it.  Dani hits it.  I got lucky.  Again tomorrow, Jamie Tartt?  Then we have a shot of Ted and the Beard.  The coaches are kicking it in the stands.  Two Aces.  Then they have trouble with Aces, and they say what…if we had two bassists for Kiss, or drummers, it would be two Frehleys.  But that’s Ace Frehley.  Walking on treadmill…shoes…Roy’s reading A Wrinkle in Time.  Keeley’s walking next to him, trying to connect with Roy.  On the word cure?  I think so, on the word cure…you could see she’s smitten.  Then on show pony…at Roy…kicks idea back?

 

But you could see Roy is definitely smitten, too.  Then Dani goes down…something tripped me.  Everyone looks up.  All my fault.  Gather up, folks.  Reverse it.  Pub’s stunned.  Whole Richland team…no June team in casual gear.  Oh, no Jamie.  Team’s in casual gear.  They talk about the best of Scorsese movie…there’s not agree…there’s agreement The Departed isn’t the best movie.  I would agree with that.  I would also agree if you’ve seen Infernal Affairs, it’s hard to watch The Departed because it’s just…I’ve probably seen Infernal Affairs so many times before The Departed was even made.  So, that was a movie it was based on.  I highly recommend seeing it.  Watch it with subtitles.  I’ll even rewatch it because…yeah.  Okay, so, where were we?  So, Ted thinks Color of Money is the best Scorsese movie.

 

That’s a good one.  I do think it’s a good one.  Goodfellas, Age of Innocence, Mean Streets.  This poster…fast, fit, fun; 1914, November 18.  I said, is…I did say huh, is this true?  No tryout…Ted; let’s take a breath.  We cannot…yeah, this guy Richard…Ricard…Richard…Ricard…Richard…Ricard…chard…Richard.  Richard, I think.  He says we can’t outfight them.  Can’t change the past, but we can choose to honor it, Ted says.  Find something you value.  We’re all going to do it.  Then the fans show up.  Jamie checks…Jamie checks hour in parking lot?  Pavlovian wine…council estate.  His next…council estate in North Manchester, the Premier League.  I’m a battler.  Don’t battle the people trying to help you.  Rebecca; she gets invited by Sam…invites her…Rebecca tab lock…I don’t know what that means.

 

Not for romance…dealing with my own curse.  Can’t team…can’t do it without the whole team.  Oh, it’s not an…it’s not a optional…the whole team; it is your team.  Please, he says, to Rebecca.  Think about it.  Rebecca’s kinda stunned.  So, I love how Rebecca is able to…how the conflict kinda plays out, but in a very, again, nuanced way.  It’s not like Rebecca’s making these all-or-nothing choices.  She is impacted by what Sam says, but as the episode plays out, you say yeah, she’s navigating her own journey and not just flip-flopping around.  Ted is before Casper?  Oh, a believer in Caspers and other powers and stuff like that.  This is the locker room meeting.  Rebecca comes in.  There’s nothing timeless except for the wit and wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes.  Roy; when he was nine, he left London to Sunderland.

 

They try to give him a hard time.  He says say something…this blanket…his grandfather…keep me warm and remind me of home.  So, blankie.  Blanket, I said.  1994, Nigerian World Cup team…Sam has a picture of that.  I was gonna keep this until I made the team.  Sam…Richard…Ricard…Richard has sand from a beach where he kissed a supermodel.  Nate has sunglasses someone said he looked like Clive Owen in.  Rebecca has today’s news, the Star…haters…Higgins; his cat’s collar, Cindy Clawford.  A duck pen, fuzzy dice, Lambo keys, Jamie…mom gave me these boots when I was a sexy little baby.  Be happy.  Good lad.  My old man showed up…so tough he couldn’t call me soft, but I forgot about making her proud.  Something…Ted outside building…eagle has landed.  Dani Rojas shows.  Team united.

 

Oh, it’s Higgins’ idea.  Oh, really?  Putting the team first, Higgins.  I suppose I am.  Higgins…oh, Ted says remember to join the team.  Higgins, you coming?  Off you go.  So again we have the flip…the going…another layer of nuance from Rebecca.  She glares, breathes through her nose, walks off, drops her coat.  Richland chant…Neil Diamond?  No.  Richmond chant to mescal day?  Morning Scooter in halls…oh, next day.  Richland chant to next day.  They’re drinking mescal.  Oh, somebody was on a scooter in the halls.  Ted liked that.  A wild locker room.  Good morning, honey bunch.  Beard quiet.  Ted to Rebecca’s office…mad.  See red…but dangit, I cracked the recipe.  Office, quiet talk.  Dani Torres quiet…Coach…football…Coach, football…quietly he says Coach, football is life.

 

Jamie’s journey or Jamie’s jersey…Ted takes it and the episode comes to a close.  Okay, so it’s starting here.  Let’s see, playing…out of focus, in focus…Ted’s sitting, thinking, then a close-up profile of Ted.  Looks down at his ring, shot of his ring coming off.  I’m holding it.  Another wider shot of him setting it down.  He puts it in a tin, closes it, then he goes to the locker room.  He’s rushing through.  Sorry I’m late.  Clear my head.  He can’t get his jacket off.  He’s got a red polo shirt on, an undershirt, and a sweater goes on, but he’s pretty sweaty, too.  But yeah, he puts his sweater on backwards.  Really good physical comedy ‘cause he’s really trying to get dressed and smooth things out.  I don’t know how many…he goes, I’m really burying myself in work here.  Well, maybe that’s not the right word.  Negative connotation.

 

Maybe I could bath myself, just like a normal bath.  Nate doesn’t bathe ‘cause he says he gets wrinkly.  What’s your favorite bath bomb?  He doesn’t enjoy it.  Beard says whatever, honey lemon.  I find bath bombs just to be a little too pricey.  Coach, you got a favorite one?  Creme brulee honey.  Is that…?  No, it’s an ingredient.  Let’s call each other by pet names.  They just stare at him.  Babe, sweetie…Nate, can you do me a favor?  Can you help out with practice today?  Thanks, sweetie.  See you all in a bit.  Nate and Beard share a look.  Is he alright?  No.  Episode opens.  There’s a press conference…you’ve won your first match.  How does that feel?  Well, we won, that’s fun, but next question.  Trent Crimm, Independent.  Trent Crimm, Independent.  Is Jamie Tartt gonna be on the pitch?  Don’t assume.

 

Oh, that’s don’t make an arse out of you and me.  No one understands.  Yeah, I guess our things don’t necessarily line up.  You’re gonna bench your best player?  No, that depends on Jamie.  He knows what we need.  He calls on Kip, then Rebecca and Ted meet up.  Master stroke benching Jamie.  Manchester City does want him back if he’s not gonna play.  You’re gonna end his loan, which Ted doesn’t understand what a loan is.  I don’t totally understand it either as far as the money goes.  Best laid plans…I said plan too many times.  Plan, plan, plan.  Lost its meaning.  This man has a plan.  Plan, plan, plan.  Plan?  No, plan; plan.  Plan?  Like flan.  Flan.  Flan.  Flan?  Flan.  Plan?  Flan.  Plan?  Word become a sound…semantic satiation or something?  Jamie here…Dani Rojas…great name.  How’s Jamie doing?

 

He’s not gonna practice; he’s hurt.  Alright, let’s see this whole speech here.  Oh, boy.  Hey Jamie, you gonna practice?  That true?  Yeah, no.  Why is that?  I’m hurt.  Oh, sorry to hear that.  Relax, Ted.  It’s just practice.  That’s when Ted turns around and everybody’s like, oh boy.  Ted shakes his head.  Hey, if you can’t practice, you can’t practice.  If you’re hurt, you’re hurt.  It’s as simple as that, but it’s not about that at all.  You’re sitting in here, franchise player, and here we are talking about you missing practice.  Oh, so they totally flip it.  We’re talking about practice.  Understand me?  Practice.  Not a game.  Not a game; not the game you go out there for, right?  Play every weekend.  We’re talking about practice.  Practice.  You’re supposed to be out there.  You’re supposed to lead by example.

 

You’re shoving all that aside.  But here we are, Jamie, talking about practice.  Not a game, not the game.  Talking about practice.  I’m talking about practice, which you can’t do because you’re hurt, right?  Now Jamie’s stone-faced.  Fine by me, but go out there and put the cones out.  You want me to set up the cones?  Yep, appreciate it.  Colin, set up the cones.  Isaac says no.  He asked you.  Then Colin says no; you’re a second team now.  Then Roy says that’s gotta sting.  Cheers.  Nate’s watching.  That’s when they say no schadenfreude with Jamie’s feelings.  Nein schadenfreude.  New kid Dani Rojas…any good?  Well, no, he’s been injured so no one’s seen him play.  Ted says well, maybe it’ll hurt his soul.  Then that’s when Nate laughs.  Okay, let’s help Dani.  First time in the League.  Can be overwhelming.

 

Dani runs out…he’s cheering.  He runs in circles.  Hello, Coaches.  Shakes their hands.  You do it…you said I’d do it, Coach.  Football is life.  He starts giving high-fives to everybody.  I like him.  Jamie doesn’t like the high-fives.  There’s music playing.  Dani schools a couple people, passes it to Sam.  Sam passes it back and he scores.  On a half-volley or a full volley?  I’m not even sure.  Beautiful cross, Sam.  Football is life.  Oh boy.  Then Roy says huh, he seems like he’s very good.  Cheers again.  Then Higgins and Rebecca…gaffers are calling for jobs.  Keeley shows up.  Deep dives on players.  Richard’s from a goat farm.  Isaac’s mom has two left hands.  Adventures of a Unicorn is her work planner.  It’s adorable.  Higgins says what if I told you…talked back?  They all laugh at that.  That’ll be all, Higgins.

 

Keeley’s like, I’m glad you’re laughing ‘cause…with the news.  She says, what news?  Oh, Bex, the one from the gala?  Oh, come on.  She was mad fit.  Let’s not pretend.  Well, that’s short for Rebecca, and…which is also your name, so the press is calling her New Rebecca?  No.  They’re calling her Rebecca and you’re Old Rebecca.  What?  Old Rebecca.  Old Rebecca…zoom.  Don’t worry, you got this.  So, Rebecca really has a full…really well-developed B or C arc in this whole episode.  Jamie’s finishing picking up the cones.  This is when he starts doing the crosses.  Wow, that was on purpose.  He says, there’s a difference between good and great.  Dani’s just there to play the game, though.  1-1.  Your turn, amigo.  Jamie goes again; he hits the crossbar.  Dani hits the crossbar.  Alright, left post.  That was good, man.  I know.

 

Dani hits the left post.  Yeah.  Then Jamie misses the post; it goes in the goal.  Dani hits it.  I got lucky…I got…again tomorrow?  Jamie Tartt, football is life.  He says his name; Dani Rojas, Rojas, Dani Rojas.  The Coach says I feel like we fell out of a lucky tree into a pool full of cash and Sour Patch Kids.  Jamie’s nice.  Now he’s a 7 of Clubs with his attitude.  Now we have this person who’s an Ace.  Now we got two Aces.  Aces, Aces.  Aces?  Aces.  Aces?  Aces?  Aces.  Aces…Aces.  Cloned, the guitarist from Kiss.  We’d have two Frehleys.  Then we see sneakers and shoes on a treadmill…Wrinkle in Time in hand.  I’m gonna read Wrinkle in Time as my next book if I can get it.  Keeley says I’m…just pretend we’re on a walk.  Roy’s like I’m reading, actually.

 

Keeley says I’ve been reading this story about a kid from South London; sent to Sunderland to play as a child.  She goes oh, I’ve just been reading everybody’s bios.  Rebecca’s got me helping with PR.  Leave me out of it; I’m not a show pony.  Well, you are, ‘cause you wear a number and people clap for you, so…later, Roy.  Then we have Dani playing…doing a drill.  His goes down.  Seems like he’s in some pain.  Did you trip over something?  No; something tripped me, something that’s not there.  Everybody knows something except for Beard and Ted.  Nate says I shouldn’t have let him go into the training room.  It was a mistake.  How could you not say anything?  Don’t make me have a classic temper tantrum.  Poo-poo dummy or whatever I say…pee-pee fingers.  Okay, spill it.  Treatment room’s unlucky.  What do you mean?

 

Yeah.  How come it’s the first time I’m hearing about it?  Well, Sam says we’re embarrassed to admit we believe in unlucky stuff.  Roy says I don’t believe in it.  They say, go in there.  He goes, no.  He goes, Dani was out there like a joy…there’s a couple extra jokes.  I don’t know if…yeah.  Singer/songwriters Dani Rojas…gather up the rest of the team.  We got a curse to reverse.  They’re at the pub, the fans are staring, the whole Richmond team’s in back.  Holy cow.  Having a meeting.  Jamie’s not here?  Oh well.  Everybody’s in different casual post-game…or whatever, regular clothes.  I don’t know…I don’t know about curses, but I know they last…they don’t last forever.  Cubs…Red Sox, Martin Scorsese.  Departed, Color of Money, Goodfellas, Age of Innocence, Isaac says.  Oh, Cape De Niro, Beard says, then Main Street.

 

They say, this poster, we need you; fast, fit, football.  Solid alliteration.  Those posters went up 18th of November, 1914.  Tryouts for Richmond, but it wasn’t.  It was recruiting and it wasn’t true.  No tryouts…everybody’s thoughtful and quiet now.  Enlisted 400 lads.  The physical was in the treatment room.  Ted says no, it wasn’t.  He goes yeah, it was.  I was just lying.  Everybody gets even more…they’re 400; that’s too many, Ricard.  We can’t go against them all.  How are we gonna fix this?  We can’t change the past.  No, Sam, but we can honor it.  We can honor them by sacrificing something that’s important to us, an item, something personal you truly value.  Bring it tonight to the clubhouse at midnight.  Some people say no way, and Roy says we’re all going to do it.  That’s your captain.

 

Then the fans show up, chanting.  Then Jamie’s at a parking lot.  He meets up with Keeley.  She won’t meet him inside because the Pavlovian response to Jamie’s good looks.  He doesn’t know what Pavlovian is.  What about your car?  Also Pavlovian.  Oh, I think I’m getting it now.  So, he goes I’m sick of Ted Lasso.  He’s not even a real coach…doing some show-and-tell thing tonight.  You gonna go?  No.  Everyone else doing it?  Yeah, but not me.  I’m not like everyone else.  I got from a Council of State to the Premier League.  No one else did that, right?  You’re a battler.  It’s hot, Jamie, but you gotta stop battling the people who are trying to help.  She walks off with that.  Have a good night.  Then we see Rebecca looking at the newspaper online.  That’s when Sam comes in.  He goes, do you know…?  Oh, I know who you are, Sam.

 

What can I help you with?  This is awkward…very free…she goes oh, Sam, no, no.  He goes, not for romance.  Not that it wouldn’t be for romance; it’s…we’re trying to deal with this thing downstairs.  She goes, thank you.  He goes yeah…he goes, we all gotta be there.  It’s a team.  He says…he also points out one thing; he goes oh, I like how some people can become famous and change the world for what they do instead of who they are.  But this is your team, Mrs. Welton, so you have to be there, please.  Think about it.  She goes okay, I will.  He says thank you.  See you tonight.  See you.  So, she’s being asked to be a part of, kind of.  Then they go to the locker room.  Ted makes a little speech; nothing lasts forever except for the wit and wisdom of Calvin and Hobbes.  We see the scan of a lot of different players and people.

 

Roy goes first with blanket or blankie.  Never left London before.  Drove me there…I was freezing, I was afraid.  Goes, I was nine, by the way.  I got there, he gave me this old blanket to keep me warm, remind me of home.  That was the last time I saw him.  That’s why blankie means so much to me.  Did you say blankie?  No, I said blanket.  Conversation over.  Sam, go.  Sam shows a 1994 Nigerian World Cup team.  I still intend to make that team.  Sam from a beach in St. Barts.  First beach where I ever kissed a supermodel.  Rebecca’s like, you gotta be kidding me.  Colin says it’s true because it happened, man.  Clive Owen’s sunglasses…throw them in, Nate.  I can’t do it.  Throw them in.  Today’s newspaper…and I’m trying not to care about it.  Cindy Clawford’s twenty-year companion cat collar.  Isaac’s pen.

 

It’s the only pen he can write his name with.  It’s like a flashing emoji pen.  Action figure…boxing gloves, goalie gloves.  I can’t see a lot of the other stuff.  Fuzzy dice, Lamborghini keys.  Hopefully he’s got two sets of keys.  Jamie wants to go; he’s got his football boots and…these aren’t my first boots or anything.  My mom gave them to me.  She’s the one that got me into football.  Her and my dad got split up.  People are kinda moving a little bit uncomfortably.  She didn’t even care if I was good.  She just wanted be…me to be happy.  But then my old man showed up as soon as I started being good, bragging to my mates but calling me soft if I didn’t dominate, you know?  I didn’t like that one bit.  I made a vow to be so tough he could never call me soft again.  People kinda relate.  I forgot about making her proud.

 

I don’t think she would be lately.  Tosses them in there.  Everybody moves around.  Okay.  Alright, let’s get rid of this stuff.  Let’s do that outside, actually, maybe?  That’s Beard’s idea.  Good call, Beard.  Okay, let’s bring it outside.  They have a little bonfire and…eagle has landed, Higgins says.  They bring Dani Rojas out.  He’s back to 100%.  This is Ted’s dramatic thing.  Oh, Casper, speak to us.  Dani, Dani Rojas…everybody’s happy to see him.  This mescal I brought; let’s drink it first.  So, let’s…empty bottle for Casper.  Alright, amigos.  Let’s do it.  Team united, Ted says.  Rebecca says well, I never pegged you as a gambler.  Now, I knew Dani was okay; this was just Higgins’ idea, the Dani part.  Don’t say…take…Higgins, huh?  Putting the team first, eh?  Oh, boy.  What do you say, boss?  Why don’t you go over by the fire?

 

She goes, I’ll respectfully pass.  Higgins, you coming?  He looks to Rebecca; she says off you go.  She does not look at him, though.  She’s glaring.  Again, it could have been so easy to just make Rebecca a one-note character, but she’s already…just in this episode, had multiple notes.  Ted too, and…but she drops her jacket and marches into work.  They’re singing about Richmond.  Jamie’s kinda leading it, which again adds this last thing.  Ted’s walking to work, smiling, sees somebody on a scooter, goes into the locker room.  Everybody’s dancing and playing catch and stuff.  Good morning, honey bunch.  You hear that buzz out there?  I love it.  How you doing?  There’s just a glare from Beard.  You got rid of Jamie?  Man City recalled him.  I just got through to him.  You saw that, Ted says, Rebecca.  We had two Aces.

 

Thought that’s what you wanted.  You were wrong.  Sorry for my tone.  I’m trying to be cool, Ted says, but I’m seeing red.  Perhaps you should leave before you say something you forget.  No; here’s your biscuits.  I hope they’re not good, but they’re probably the best batch.  I cracked the recipe.  Rebecca looks down at the biscuits.  Quiet moment in the office, and that’s when…again, I get choked up.  Dani says Coach, football is life.  Ted nods.  Dani smiles.  Another episode of Lasso comes to a close after Ted goes to Jamie’s jersey.  Tartt’s number 9.  Pulls it down, walks off.  Everybody watches.  Goes into his office.  That’s the end of the episode, but let’s look up a couple more things.  We got a few more minutes here together; might as well spend them together, huh?  Okay, let’s see if we can understand what loans are.

 

According to Wikipedia, a loan in sports involves a player being able to temporarily play for another club than the one to which they are currently contracted.  Loan deals may last a few weeks to a full season, sometimes multiple seasons.  A loan can be arranged by the parent club as well as asking them to play a percentages of the wages.  So, you’re…this is interesting.  I’d like to see more about…this isn’t enough, though.  Okay, Association Football…players may be loaned out to other clubs for several reasons, like a young prospect to a lower league to gain experience on the first team.  The parent club may even pay the player’s wages in full or part.  So, maybe that’s what’s happening with Jamie and why they would call him back, is if he’s not playing.

 

Some clubs put a formal arrangement in place with a feeder club for this purchase…purpose, like Manchester United and Royal Antwerp or Arsenal and Beveren, Chelsea and Vitesse, and other leagues such as Series A.  Smaller clubs have a…so, in other areas, it’s a bit like baseball or now the G League at the NBA where the Minor Leagues are actually associated with the team.  A farm club, they call it.  A club may take a player on loan if they are short on transfer funds but can still pay wages or cover for injuries or suspensions.  The parent club may demand a fee or that loaning club pays some or all of the wages during the loan.  A club might seek out a loan to loan out a squad player to make…to save on wages or a first team player to gain fitness following an injury.

 

A loan maybe made to get around a transfer window.  Such a loan might include a fee for a permanent transfer when the transfer window opens.  Some players are loaned because they are unhappy or are in dispute and no other club wishes to get them permanently.  In the Premier League, players on loan are not permitted to play against the team which holds their registration.  Loanees are, however, allowed to play against their original clubs in cup competitions.  So, that’s a little bit about loans.  What else do we need to look up?  Oh, 1994 Nigerian World Cup team.  Wasn’t the only person to Google it.  Let’s see, in the round of sixteen…let’s see.  So, they were in Group D.  They played Bulgaria; they won 3-nil, then they played Argentina.  They only lost 2-nil, which is really good.  Then they played Greece; they won 2-nil.

 

So that means they definitely qualified, depending on Argentina.  I would guess that Argentina won and Nigeria came in second, then they played Italy in the round of sixteen.  What year is this World Cup?  They lost to Italy.  But I think Italy…it looks like there’s a red cup or a red thing.  ‘94, is that when…?  So, then 2000 would have been the…?  Oh no, ‘98.  I guess that makes sense.  ‘94 World Cup, was that in the US?  1994 World Cup…yeah, it was in the US.  That group…yeah, Group D…Bulgaria finished second and Argentina qualified.  No, Nigeria won the group on goal difference.  Argentina came in third.  Wow, Bulgaria finished second.  That’s a huge upset.  It was the end of Diego Maradona’s international career.  Okay, so I kinda remember this ‘cause it was a little bit of a big deal.

 

So, it was a pretty big…I mean, that’s huge.  Let’s see, they had a…let’s see, Nigerian national football team…Nigerian football federation…FIFA ranking currently is 30th and they’ve been…they were 5th in April, 1994.  History…let’s get to this 1996 one.  African Cup of Nations in ‘92 and ‘94.  Third in ‘92, and they won the World Africa Cup of Nations in 1994.  Reached the World Cup for the first time in 1994 after years of struggling to get there.  They topped their group; that’s a big deal…Argentina, Bulgaria, and Greece.  They defeated Bulgaria, the second place team, by 3-nil.  Lost to Argentina 1-2 and reached the second round after a 2-0 victory over Greece.  They were even in the lead against Italy, but they were in two minutes of qualifying, and then there was a goal.  Went to extra time.

 

Baggio scored twice; once during the game and once there.  In 1996, the team withdrew from the tournament under pressure from the country’s dictator due to criticism received from the tournament host of South Africa, Nelson Mandela.  In ‘98, they returned to the World Cup.  Most of ‘94, squad…wait, how is it…’96…that must have…I don’t know.  Or wait, did I say ‘94?  ‘98 would have been the next one.  So anyway, that’s a little bit about the Nigerian World Cup team.  Yeah, I think that’s everything for tonight.  Goodnight everybody, and I’ll see you in the next learning and lulling with Lasso.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcribed by Leah Hervoly)

Notable Language:

• Abacus
• Non-Schaudenfreude Zone (NSZ)
• Mutual Smittens

Notable Culture:

• Popeye
• Philadelphia 76ers
• Cindy Crawford

Notable Talking Points:

• Subjective? I don’t even know what conjunctive is.
• Scooter’s Dreamcast Basketball Superteam
• I don’t fully understand how Soccer Loans and Money work