1070 – Return of the Jedi | Tale of the Tape
Episode 1070 – Return of the Jedi | Tale of the Tape
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and my patron peeps; I don’t know, patrons, if this is May the 5th or May the 4th or it just feels like it, but may the sleep be with you, patrons, ‘cause it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast you make possible to put you to sleep.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do or alls you could do if you like…and you don’t even have to actually do any of this stuff, but you could…get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. What I’ll do is I’ll try to do the rest. What I’m gonna attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether that’s thoughts, things you’re thinking about or that are on your mind. They could be about the past, present, or the future, could be feelings, physical sensations, or emotions that are coming up for you or that are already there.
It could be changes in your routine, your time, temperature, other stuff, situational things. Maybe you got something going on. Maybe it’s something else. If it’s something else, I’m sorry. You could always let me know about it too just so it’s on my radar. Could be you…what if this…I mean, I have talked to people that have been on vessels with sonar. Yeah, what if you’re…I know that people on vessels with sonar usually have…already might need the podcast because their sleep schedules are off. But what if you were…what if you somehow lived on a movie…a replica movie set? Let’s just say I fulfilled one of my life goals of living on the Hollywood…Universal Hollywood Tour, or…and…well, one of my life goals was to work there, but another one is to live there.
Let’s just say they had at some point in the future with the rise of practical effects…and it doesn’t even need to be a Steven Spielberg movie. It could be another movie. But let’s just say there was some sort of set that the…the tour only passes by…it only goes during the day, but let’s just say it’s a…some sort of thing with sonar, active sonar, where it’s making that pinging sound nonstop. Let’s say it has bunks and stuff. So, I say whoa boy, that’s the perfect place for me to live then, because I could sleep when the tour’s not going on and it’s nighttime, and then hopefully I would wake up before the first tour comes and walk down to my bungalow office and then say wait a second…and walk through what was once the set of…was the set of The Good Place and maybe stop by one of the trucks and get some coffee.
I guess I’d have to…maybe…I don’t know, maybe I’d stop in at the motel there. I think that’s just a set, but I’d have to take a shower somewhere. I guess not necessarily in the morning, though; you’re right. Oh, but what was my point? My point was if that sonar sound…that could be one of the things that’s keeping you up. This would be more of a sonar sound effect. You say Scoots, don’t you think that…because it’s part of a tour and because people live in the area that it would only go on during the day while the tour’s going on, maybe even when the…something…it turns on only when the tour buses are coming through? I’d say whoa, whoa, whoa; first off, it’s called a tram, I think. Tour…I don’t…maybe tour trams is not right. But I thought it was a tram. Not a word that gets used enough.
But yeah, sorry, I didn’t mean to quibble with you there. I just said well, it’s not a tour bus. But you’re…you could be right. So, maybe I’ve reached my life goals and then…also did some good stuff for other people, of course. That’s why they said Scoots, you could live on our lot now. You really convinced the whole world to let us overcharge you for broadband. So, we want…I say well, I just canceled that idea. But so, let’s see; where was I? Oh, I was living on…but so, okay, I agree with you. Let’s just say that it’s malfunctioning. That’s why I’m using it as an example at this point. If it was all the time, you’re right; I’d be used to it. So, yeah, it’s just malfunctioning the one night. So, I’m tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting to sleep, trouble staying asleep.
Oh, also, I’m trying to record a intro to a sleep podcast? Oh, boy. Okay, so whatever’s keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off of that. The way I’m gonna do it is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents, meaning just like I just did, I’ll accidentally go off-topic. Yeah, accidentally on purpose, of course. Totally planned that one out. I mean, I have planned it out in my fantasies. Like I said, my main place would be the lifeguard chair right by the place where…oh, who was it? Angela Lansbury. What character did she play, though? She was on a show about write…where she was a writer and she would find your lost things. Lost things she found…Cabot Cove. I can’t remember her character’s name.
But yeah, so, there…right outside of Cabot Cove, which is right by another place that’s a bit like Nantucket, there’s a lifeguard chair. I would also like to be there and just wave at people on the tour. I guess I could do that while I’m doing my morning coffee and editing audio. People…I don’t think people would be happy to see me if that’s how I got there. They say oh, who’s that? They say oh, that’s Scooter. He’s…was a sleep podcaster and then he made that podcast Charge Us More…Monopolies Are Great, or whatever. Anyway, where was I? Oh, so if you’re new, a couple things to know. I’m here to help you because you deserve a good night’s sleep. You really do.
You deserve a place you could get some rest, a bedtime you don’t have to dread or think about, that you could get comfortable, wind down, and drift off. If you do that, your life’s gonna be better and our world’s gonna be a better place. I deeply desire that for you because one, you deserve it, and two, I’ve been there and I know how it feels. Even in my fantasies, I got sonar going off unpredictably. Not to mention all of the other things that could not be easy to sleep when you’re sleeping on a movie set. Most of the time, I’m fantasizing about it. I don’t also have permission or clearance, but I’m sure I’d be tossing and turning. I’d say wait a second, people are paying $125 just for the internet a month? Oh boy. I thought I was…I was trying to get the…I thought I was trying to get the price to go down.
Oh no, they said; Scoots, if you talk about this, we’ll let you…anyway, whatever. So, whatever’s keeping you awake, you deserve a good night’s sleep, and I know how it feels. That’s why I want to help. Now, you’ve already noticed this show is very different and unconventional. So, I want to tell you it’s okay to have strong feelings about it and maybe not even like the show or be like, what is this? When does it start? What is going on? That’s a natural reaction. Most people have that reaction. It does take two or three tries to get used to the show, ‘cause it’s a show you kinda barely listen to and you just kinda barely pay attention, which clearly, I mean, I’ve demonstrated why already you should do that. You say wow, you got big dreams, Scoots.
Now, I can say with some certainty there is a small slice of the listeners that have shared these type of things. They say Scoots, I thought I was the only one that was…had that dream. I said no, there’s…we’re out there, people that dream of living on movie sets. I mean, think about it; what movie set would you want to live on, or a sitcom set? So, I forgot why that qualified me to make a sleep podcast, but…oh, it doesn’t; it qualifies you not to listen to me. You just kinda barely listen. I also don’t put you to sleep. I’m here to keep you company while you drift off, so yeah. I don’t know. I’m here to keep you company and yeah, keep you company while you drift off, to take your mind off of stuff, not really to put you to sleep.
I’m here to be your companion in the deep, dark night, your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie. So, that’s what I’m here for. What else? So, don’t listen to me, I’m not really gonna put you to sleep, you deserve a good night’s sleep. Oh, other things; this really throws some new listeners off. I always talk about it and I think a lot of those people, they skip this…they don’t hear this part where I talk about it over and over again. The show’s built…I think…I don’t think I said…it’s unconventional, but on purpose. So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so you feel welcome and seen. Then there’s support for listeners, then there’s support for the show, because the goal of the podcast is to come out twice a week for free.
Then there’s the intro. The intro is separate from the beginning business. The intro is a show within a show that gives you time to wind down. It’s a little bit familiar every time. It’s a little bit different every time so you feel welcome. You say oh, okay, I recognize this place, but Scoots talks about something different every time so I don’t get used to it or fed up with it, or I never know where he’s going, so I can not listen to him. It also just gives you a chance to get ready for bed or to get comfortable or to start to wind down and do some other relaxing activity. So, that’s the intro. It’s about ten to twenty minutes long. Then after the intro is business. Again, the show comes out twice a week for free. I appreciate everybody that support…that makes that possible, and then there’s our story.
Tonight it’ll be me trying to remember a well-known movie called Return of the Jedi. I haven’t…I can tell you that I recorded it yesterday and I said oh boy, I gotta watch that movie ‘cause I definitely missed a lot of stuff. Even though it took me almost an hour to record, I said well…I don’t know. There’s a lot of blanks I had trying to remember. Probably one or two action sequences and some other stuff. So, that’s Return of the Jedi, and we’ll talk about that for about fifty minutes or so, and then there’s thank-yous at the end. So, that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show. I’m glad you’re here. I really work hard, I yearn and I strive. I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to be here for you for free twice a week.
Alright everybody, Scoots here, and this will be interesting. So, I realized today…well, over the weekend and then today; I spent a lot of time kinda keeping an idea of what I’m gonna record during the week for the Tuesday…the random-style episodes that we have a couple different styles we do. I had thought of one thing that…or a couple things we’ll be covering in the next year or so, but I said wait a second…so, I thought…I said we’ve covered a lot of the seminal movies of my childhood and in my middle…late grammar, elementary school, middle school, and high school and beyond years, and some formative movie-going experiences. I don’t know if we’ve covered them all, but we covered the Roger Moore James Bond movie with Grace Jones and Tanya Roberts and Christopher Walken, A View to a Bridge with Zeppelin.
While that wasn’t a beloved…that was just an important movie for me, I think it was the first James Bond movie I saw in a theatre. I believe we’ve covered Goonies and Back to the Future. All three of those movies were related to a period in my life when I still played with toys, but when I became aware…that was just a big summer of movie-going for me, and…where I became aware that movies were made…that there were people that worked on movies. It wouldn’t be…it would follow up with another big summer which maybe we’ll talk about, ‘cause I don’t think we’ve covered any of those movies. Then another big movie-going experience for me was Beetlejuice.
Another movie memory I had we covered was PeeWee’s Big Adventure, and we’ve covered Beverly Hills Cop and Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, Dustbusters, so all really important experiences for me. But the foundation was built on the first…there’s three movie…the first three movies that I’m aware that I went to the movie theater and saw, two of which were animated movies; Sword in the Stone and the Fox and the Hound, which is interesting that they both…their titles are similar in a sense. Then this movie, which I should have total recall of, but I don’t think I have, and that is the first Star Wars movie I ever saw. I don’t know if…which episode it is, Episode VI, I guess? Star Wars Episode VI. Why do I always want to say it’s Episode III? III, IV, V. Maybe it’s…VI, VII, VIII. I, II, III, IV, V, VI, VII, VIII, IX.
So, I think it’s Episode VI. It’s called Return of the Jedi. I think it would be interesting for me to do a Tale of the Tape about that, but I guess I’ll talk a little bit more about my…going to the movie. I’ve talked about going to the movie before, even in the Beetlejuice one, and I can…I think this is kind of an idea of the power of Star Wars though, in this period of time, in the 80s, was that I…well, I don’t know what year Raiders…or, what is this movie called? Empire…? No. Ewoks Make A Village? No, it’s called Return of the Jedi. Okay. I can’t even remember that…or Jedis, it may be called. But so, I played with Star Wars toys, but I never saw Star Wars movies until Return of the Jedi, and I’m not even sure if this was on the first or the second run of Return of the Jedi.
This may be my imagination, but I thought that Star Wars: A New Hope and Empire Strikes Back were so popular that they even had revivals before the third movie came out. So, whatever, they came out…then it came out again, then Empire Strikes Back came out, and then Empire Strikes Back came out again, and then Return of the Jedi came out. I’m not talking about reprints or anything. But I’m not sure if that happened or not. But I can remember seeing…especially Empire Strikes Back; I can remember seeing the commercials on TV, all the cross-promotions, and then the toys, but not being able to see the movie ‘cause…I don’t know. They said well, you’re just too impressionable and young. We don’t need you go…you can’t go into…we don’t need you go…trying to be…go a long time ago and far, far away.
You’re already far, far away anyway. We don’t need this…he’s…I don’t know. I guess it was just too intense. Plus, there’s six kids in my family. I would have been the…old enough, and I don’t know if my father or mother…what was interesting is I saw a lot of Star Trek movies with my father. Again, not on the first run, but on the…at a historical theatre. So, I don’t know if I ever talked about that, but I’ll talk about it another time, maybe. So, at some point, Return of the Jedi came out and my father decided that at least my brother Carl and I and maybe my sister Sheila were at a place where we could go see this movie. Again, I…my expectations were not based on reality. I had…I thought…I guess I had been to two movies, so I don’t know why I thought this, but I thought that they would give away free toys or they would have a toy store.
In some sense, I don’t want to brag, but I guess I was a visionary. I thought they would have a pop-up toy store selling just…I thought they’d be steeply discounted because you paid for the movie, or they would just give you a free action figure. But if they would have had a pop-up toy store at the movie theatre, they would have made even more money. So, not to give anybody an idea, ‘cause I don’t know if any other movies are driving that kind of toy-purchasing. I mean, I will say I guess nowadays, people…would be hard to track and people would just keep the boxes and sell them on eBay. But I’d say well, if you gave away a Troll doll at one of those movies with every ticket, that would be pretty fun. So, I don’t know. I guess I wouldn’t need the kid behind me saying hello, could you comb my hair?
I’m a troll; I’m behind…I say, I’m trying to watch Trolls: Throwback City or whatever the next…I don’t know. I haven’t seen any of those movies. Probably would; I don’t have anything against them. I think it’s…the artist Justin Timberlake and Anna Kendrick? I don’t know. Is that who’s in those movies? Okay, but so…so, when I went to Star Wars, I was already trying to plan out…I know they had…I didn’t know anything about the movie, but I had seen the ads, so I know they had the Gramarian guard. I probably roped my brother in with them and said well, what toy are you gonna pick out for the movie when they give away the free toys? I wanted the Gramarian guard. I don’t know what my brother imaginarily picked out, but it ended up there was no free toys or toys for sale at the movie theatre.
I have no idea what movie theatre we went to, ‘cause whenever I think about it, I’m like, that’s probably the movie…I picture this actual movie theatre that we didn’t really go to the movies at, the same movie theatre out in the suburbs of Syracuse where most of the movies I saw…well, maybe Camillus Mall would have been where I saw most of the movies. Anyway, where was I? Interesting stuff here. Oh boy, is this interesting stuff. So, let’s see…okay, so, yeah; let’s cover the movie. I’m trying to think of any other memories I have. Just wanted to see the movie. So, we were probably pretty excited. I don’t…other than being disappointed that you didn’t get a free…I remember really enjoying the movie and the experience, but I don’t remember…and I also remember the let down because I had unrealistic expectations of getting a free toy or trying to talk my dad into buying a discounted toy.
Just an action figure; that’s all I was asking for. I wasn’t asking for a play set or anything. But at this point I understand how the world works, so okay, I accept it. So, what is the movie called again? Return of the Jedi, which is pretty important. So, here’s what I know. Again, you might say Scoots, come on, there’s no way you can’t remember how this movie goes or the major plot points. I say, do you want to bet? Because I bet you I can not remember, because I can’t remember…so, at first I thought it opened on the…on the moon of Endor, but now I realize…I said no, it couldn’t have started there, because why…what are they doing there and why? So I said you’re right; where does it begin? Then I said well, where did the last movie end? I say, with a Lando double-cross. I say okay, so that’s where it ended.
Han was placed in a state of suspended animation and Luke was…had dealt with some of his father issues which caused great emotional impact on him, but he was rescued by…I think by Lando, Leia, C-3P0, R2-D2, and Chewbacca. I guess Lando had parlayed that, so in some sense, we can’t hold anything against Lando ‘cause really, he said this is the best I could do. I didn’t really have a choice, you know? They got here before you did. That’s in the other movie, though. So, it opens…I’m pretty sure this is how it opens and actually, when you think about the opening at least and you think about genres and films, you say well, this is interesting because…and I didn’t look at it this way, but it’s a bit of a caper-style heist-type setup. But it already starts…the beginning of the movie starts when that has already been implemented.
I say wow, I really like those choices because it has a lot more impact than if you showed the planning of it. They say okay, that’s not a way to start a movie that this is just gonna be a segment of. But then you say well, okay, then what…well, that’s where we left off. It’s like a Saturday morning serial, so you need this sequence. I say well, it’s a cool sequence. I’m not criticizing it. I’m just saying…you say, is the overall arching plot of the three movies, how does it fit in there? I say okay, well, I guess one, it demonstrates where Luke is on his progression. So you say okay, you’re right about that. That stuff’s impressive. Then it kinda tells the story of Han and Leia. Okay, fair enough. Then something happens but you don’t remember. Or are you just buying time ‘cause you don’t know…?
I say no, I know what…I’m pretty sure…here’s how it happens, and it reminds me of Wizard of Oz as well. There may or may not be…I think what happens is…huh. Now I don’t know. I think maybe…do C-3P0…does it open with C-3P0 and R2-D2 and they go to the door and that’s kinda the…maybe that is what happens. Interesting. So, this is what I think happens; I guess I thought something else happened, but I said wait a second, that doesn’t answer all my questions. So, now I think what may have happened is…so, R2-D2 and C-3P0 show up. They’re at the desert of Tatooine which we’ve seen a lot of, maybe. Somewhere outside of Mos Eisley spaceport. We go there and we’re at the hut of…the palace of Jabba the Hutt. You know what?
They start off with this…the…crawl that fills you in, so they…probably the crawl…the movie said okay, Chapter…I, II, III, VI: Return of the Jedi. Star War…the Empire’s working on…I don’t know if I read this, but…it confused me later, but I think they were working on a new Death Star. Rebel alliance has been trying…scattered across the galaxy. Luke Skywalker, hint, but somewhere, the crime lord Jabba the Hutt…what’ll happen next? Something like that. Darth Vader’s at the height of his powers with the Emperor Palpatine, and soon they’re gonna have a crushing…it won’t be long ‘til they have a crushing grip on the galaxy. So, that didn’t help. But so, I think R2-D…so, it opens with maybe some desert shots, then let’s just say this happens…in my mind it did. It didn’t though, but I’m trying to remember.
They show up at the…what do you call that thing? Jabba’s palace. Very much like the Wizard of Oz, something asks them what do you want? They say we’re here to see Lord Jabba or whatever, Lord Hutt. Then just like C-3P0 says how rude, I don’t appreciate your tone, ‘cause it has this camera eye. Then it says…eventually they say something. They said let us in because we’re very valuable and we could be…we’ve been gifted to the Lord Jabba. So, I think they go in and we go into Jabba’s palace. Jabba’s got a rocking band and eats a lot of stuff. He’s got…what do you call those? Something that laughs at all his jokes, a pet, he’s got people that work for him. You can see that Jabba lives in the world of vice.
At some point we see Princess Leia working undercover, and I don’t know how long it takes to reveal that also…and this was one of the cooler action figures, is that Lando Calrissian is also working undercover. So, I think that’s slowly revealed. C-3P0 says basically, I’m here to work for you. I think a gift from Luke Skywalker or something, or maybe a trade. I can’t remember…because of Your Majesty or whatever. Then I think there’s a sequence that goes by, and maybe R2 is serving drinks and C-3P0 has to run as a protocol droid. Can speak, whatever, a billion languages. We saw this palace at the end of the second season of the Mandalorian which was cool, because it was a similar sequence. Then…and we…oh, we see the Gramorian guard who are the guards of…Jabba’s tough guys.
Then at some point we get this mysterious…sound effects and doors opening, and then in comes cloaked…just like, I guess similar to the end of the second season of the Mandalorian, Luke Skywalker cloaked undercover. So at some point, the Man…here’s a spoiler; at some point, Mandalorian and…or…huh. No, no, this is in the…wait a second. I’m confused about the timelines now. ‘Cause at the end of the Mandalorian, it’s a younger Luke Skywalker, younger than the Return of the Jedi Skywalker, right? Is that correct or am I way off? Or is Luke Skywalker older? Oh yeah, it takes…this takes place…Mandalorian takes place after Return of the Jedi. Okay. So, that was just my mistake among many. Okay, that solves that. So, okay, so Jabba’s having a party or whatever. Jabba’s putting on vice.
Then this cloaked figure shows up and it has no trouble with all of Jabba’s henchmen and says hey, I’m here to…I’m here for Han Solo and my droids and all that. They…Jabba says your tricks won’t work on me because I’m too smart. Luke says well, I’m pretty tough, so let’s…then Jabba has a secret door where Luke goes to visit Jabba’s pet, who is…who’s this dog that keeps drooling. Jabba says if you can’t…if…you don’t want to be covered in drool ‘cause I heard that grosses you out. I think this was a stop-motion sequence, so then we have…again, I haven’t seen this movie in a long time, but we have Luke dealing with the…in the stop-motion sequence, dealing with the dog and trying to get the dog to say hey, if…give the dog…you just gotta brush the dog’s teeth, really.
So, Luke figures out if he brushes the dog’s teeth, the dog will stop drooling. Problem solved. That takes a while. Now, looking back on it now, I say, did Luke know this was gonna happen because of something that happens later? But I don’t know. But also, Luke’s trapped because it’s a secret door. Meanwhile, Lando goes and tries to rescue Han Solo. I don’t know if he…I guess he defrosts him. Chewie’s down there too, or is Chewie…yeah, I think…I can’t remember if Chewie’s with him or not, ‘cause Chewie’s pretty mad at Lando. But whatever, he defrosts Han but Han can’t see, ‘cause it takes you a while for your eyes to come back. So, that happens. They get discovered, so they get caught too.
Now, I don’t think Princess Leia got discovered though, so she’s still undercover, I believe, but I’ve been wrong about everything else. So then Jabba says okay, I got a better idea for all these punks. Now, it could be that Luke…could be that Lando’s still undercover though and he doesn’t get caught. I can’t remember. I’m feeling like Lando is still undercover at this point, so maybe it’s just Luke had rescued Han and Chewie. So, I don’t know. But those…let’s just say those three are busted. Everybody else is still undercover. So, they say okay, we’re gonna take you out to the desert to this Sar’laac, which it turns out, the Sar’laac dealt with the krayt dragon…the krayt dragon dealt with the Sar’laac at some point, I think, because…I think that’s how Justified got the…his arm…Boba Fett’s arm.
But anyway, not important yet. So, they go out there, they’re on these skiffs, but Jabba has this giant party barge. Now, you could get this…I don’t know if you can get the party barge, but you could definitely…one of my…at least somebody I played with had that skiff, which was cool. It’s kinda like a pirate movie at this point, so that…Luke has to walk the plank and they’re gonna make Han and Luke walk the planks. Yeah. So, I believe all that stuff happened. So, then they’re on the skiff. Boba Fett’s there watching over, because Boba Fett was the one with Darth Vader that…one of the people with Darth Vader that busted Han Solo. So, they take him out and they’re gonna make him walk the plank and meet this Sar’laac, a pit of…Sar’laacian pit or something.
Jabba says oh boy, is this…this thing…this is exactly what you deserve. They’re probably bet…making bets on it. Great action sequence. I’m not doing it justice, obviously. But Luke had already thought of this or something, because he has his light saber inside of…what do you call that thing? What’s that thing called? R2-D2. So, R2-D2 at some point throws Luke his light saber. He does a…you see over these sequences of how he’s become…progressed as a Jedi and his power’s increased, his abilities have increased. So, Luke does a bunch of moves and also, I think even on this scene, we see that Luke has become somewhat…he’s become a little bit of a cyborg. Meanwhile, I think there’s one sequence where Han can’t see and he has to free Chewie or Lando.
Then Boba Fett and a couple other people go and visit the Sar’laac, so that was…we thought that was it for Boba Fett. But a lot of good action. C-3P0 probably runs around talking too much, and Princess Leia deals with Boba…or Jabba. I don’t know, I felt like that was back at the palace, but maybe it happened on the barge. I wonder if El DeBarge was on the barge. But so, whatever; they get away. Basically, spoiler, they get away. Now, I’m not exactly sure what happens next, surprise. But I think they all get out. They must have parked somewhere nearby. Somehow Lando pulled all this off. So, I don’t know how many years this took, this deep cover, ‘cause Lando was under…in deep cover. So was Leia. But I guess somewhere, they had the Millennium Falcon and Luke’s X-wing parked within the region.
I think maybe they cover this by a phone call or something, but Luke says I gotta go to Dagobah…I gotta go to the Dagobah System with R2. Got somebody I gotta deal with. They say okay, we gotta go meet with Admiral Akbar and everybody else that knows what they’re doing. They say okay, talk to you…we’ll meet up with you at some point in the future. So, they go…so, then the sequence splits. So, if we follow the Millennium Falcon, we have Lando Calrissian, Han Solo, Princess Leia, Leia Organa, C-3P0, and Chewbacca. I’m pretty sure this is when Admiral Akbar is still functioning as the admiral, but it could be…I think so. So, they go and they say okay…they say the Death Star’s almost fully operational. Maybe it even is operational.
Now, I think as a kid, even though they said it multiple times that it was…they were building a second Death Star, I still kept thinking, is this the old Death Star…just got damaged and they’re repairing it? I’m not even positive, but I think it was a new Death Star, which I mean, again, I’m sure there’s been comedy and even Clerks, but even in the season of Mandalorian, that’s a lot of investment. I remember the movie Contact with Jodie Foster, and that movie had a similar but Earth-based premise about investing all this money in a spaceship. But at least they kind of explained oh no…this is a spoiler, but they say okay, we also are building a second one secretly in case this one didn’t work out. So, I don’t know if that was how the Death Star worked.
But anyway, they say yeah, we’re…they’re building this Death Star, but they…while they’re building it, it’s covered by this shield that’s based on this moon on Endor. So, we can’t get to it to deal with it unless somebody goes…it’s a powerful shield; you gotta be on the planet to get rid of the shield. So they say okay, well, Han Solo and Princess Leia and Lando say well…was Lando there? I think Lando…I don’t think…I think Lando comes in later, ‘cause Lando has his own sidekick. Now, that’s what I’d like to see, a standalone Donald Glover Lando movie or TV show or whatever, program starring Donald Glover, directed by Donald Glover. But so, I don’t know. So…’cause I say, who’s that dude? He was a gill-based being. Or what was Lando…? I don’t know. I couldn’t do…maybe I could do it.
Let’s see, what was…where was Lando? How did Lando become head of Bespin? I’d like to know that, too. Okay, but so, back to wherever I was now. Where am I? Okay, so that’s Endor. That’s the moon, forest moon end…of Endor. Or the forest moon…Endor; a forest moon. That’s where the shield is that’s protecting…and it’s gonna be fully operational and have a view of…I don’t know, the central…wherever Admiral Akbar is based. But Admiral Akbar is actually in the…I don’t know, wherever the rebel alliance is. They can’t let this thing go fully operational. But you know, the Empire at this point is at full strength. Also, at some point, I don’t know if it’s during this movie…I guess it is, because Luke’s realized that Darth Vader’s his father. We do learn that Leia is Luke’s sister and the daughter of Darth Vader.
That’s revealed at some point during this film. Okay, so they say yeah, we’ll lead the team going to…we’ll land on Endor undercover. We’re gonna wear camouflage and stuff. Then we’ll go deal with these…we’ll break into the place’s shield, we’ll try to time it, shut the shield down. Meanwhile, Luke returns to Dagobah…the Dagobah System, and I think some of this was in the Timothy…what are those, Timothy Zahn books? Maybe I read some of these Star Wars books other than those. But Luke returns to the Dagobah System ostensibly to complete his training that he abandoned in the last movie. I can’t remember what Yoda says, but Yoda says basically let’s have some soup and tea and talk about it. Try you must. Patience. The grip…tries to give him…he’s trying to tell him the truth, a truth-teller.
I don’t know, I think he was more accepting the fact Luke wasn’t there. Maybe he trains more; maybe he did all his training in Return of the Jedi. I mean, Empire Strikes Back. I’m not sure when he’s riding around on his back and all that stuff. But so, Luke returns to talk to the teacher. I think in this movie is when he has to go into the cave, and he goes in the cave…and again, this…Rey did this in a different part. I guess she did it in that blowhole, the Nakalele Blowhole in…when she went down there. But it’s…I guess it has to do with the Force or Jedi stuff that you go to this place where you kiss mysticism in some sense, you know? Or maybe you’re kissed by the mysticism. So, Luke goes in there and kinda shows you…oh, ‘cause one thing about being a Jedi is you can’t be consumed by your fears.
You have to…you can’t be consumed by wanting what you want or wanting to be released from your fears totally, or…and also, you can’t turn to anger and hate. So, most…for the most part, good stuff. I think this cave is supposed to train you or whatever, or show you. But I guess that would have been in the other movie, because it shows Luke inside Darth Vader, and that freaks Luke out. So, that probably did happen in Empire Strikes Back. So, I don’t know if he goes to the cave in this movie. Now, the Yoda from…the Yoda toy from Return of the Jedi I had. It’s definitely…it had…the cool things about the Yoda toy was Yoda had a pet that he wore around his neck, he had his cane, and he had a cloth robe, all of which were very easy to lose.
So, you would lose the pet first or the cane first, then the pet, and then hopefully the robe would stay on. So, I have no idea what happens on Dagobah other than that at some point Yoda says listen buddy, it’s been great, but I gotta lie down and go to the big macroon or macroon in the sky and meet up with Obi-Wan and…maybe Luke talks to Obi-Wan? I don’t know. But he says put a blanket on me and comfort me, Luke. Luke says oh boy, that’s tough stuff. So, huh. Then I don’t know what happens to Luke after it, so I guess I’m missing some stuff, so hopefully I’ll remember that. Now it makes sense why we had such a big sequence at Jabba’s palace, two different good action sequences, ‘cause otherwise I wouldn’t have remembered anything.
So, now we’re back on the forest moon of Endor and we got a team there, right? We got a…now, I don’t know if they didn’t land in the right place or what their plan was. I can’t remember any of that, other than that they have to disable the shields. But so, they’re…so, it’s Leia, Han, Chewie, everybody else. So, they’re supposed to be running undercover. This is, again, a new effect sequence. Great sound design. But at some point, the stormtroopers…or these were call…these were something else. Scout troopers, they were called. They rode these things called speeder bikes which again we get to see in the Mandalorian. But at this time, these effects were really top of the line and in some sense, probably still stand the test of time against some of the other…’cause I don’t know if it was a balance of practical…beautiful forest.
You’re talking northern California, Redwood forest. If you ever want to relive it, it’s not an easy hike, but you could do the one-way hike. It goes from…it’s called the Steep Ravine Trail. It goes from Mount Tam down to Stinson Beach. It’s a pretty long hike, but if you do one way, you could get a taste of…and that way you’re going downhill. You really get a taste for Endor. But so, what else do we need to know? So, okay, so, Leia and Han…I don’t know about Chew…where Chewie or everybody else is. C-3P0 is with them. But so, they get into chases with these speeder bikes. I want to say Luke was there at this point, but…’cause yeah, Luke was there at some point ‘cause he had to have a face-off with them. Maybe he wasn’t. Maybe he wasn’t; I don’t know. Anyway, yeah, ‘cause…I don’t know.
So, who knows what happened to Luke? I guess I thought I remembered, but Han’s…also, Darth Vader knows…he’s visiting to do an inspection or talk to the Emperor. Maybe they just were living there. ‘Cause you say, why not? It’s a powerful space station; it’s protected by a shield on a moon that we didn’t even investigate everything on the moon, but good enough. But so, they deal with these speeder bikes, right? That was a really cool sequence. I do remember the front of a speeder bike getting cut off that I thought was by a light saber, but maybe I’m wrong. But so, whatever. I don’t know. Maybe…was it Luke, Leia, and Han? Hm. I don’t know.
But so, this cool action sequence…pretty sure Luke wasn’t there, but maybe he was and I just don’t remember it, and then I don’t know why…maybe there was some other…did they have to go on any other adventures before they got to the moon of Endor? I don’t know. But so, whatever. They end up…they deal with the speeder bikes. I think one person got away. At some point, they’re all split up. It takes them a while…they eventually all get back together, then they’re looking and Chewbacca tries to grab something, they get caught in a net, and the next thing they know, they’re with the Ewoks. The Ewoks…this is their home world, this moon. So, they say, who are these people? We don’t like them. They look a lot like these…the Empire, which is causing us trouble. So, I think they’re gonna deal with them.
There’s a communication barrier. But then they realize they have some belief system where C-3P0 has godlike status to them. Okay, but Luke is there, so…huh. So, I guess Luke was there the whole time, I so I was wrong about that for sure. So, maybe there was some sequence…maybe there’s just…Luke said I’ll meet you at Endor or whatever; do find my friends, and I’m gonna go to Dagobah, then I’ll meet up with you. Because yeah…so anyway, then they think C-3P0 is a god. Luke uses the Force to play that up. So, he says free my friends. Then they start…they realize the Ewoks are actually dealing in…they’re constantly getting harassed by the Empire and they’re way outnumbered. So they say okay, let’s work together to deal with these Empire…’cause we gotta get to this bunker where the shield’s operated out of.
So, interesting. So, yeah, I don’t know…so, then they come up with a plan. The plan is really cool. They enact the plan…say okay, we’re gonna capture this bunker and we’re gonna do it together. Basically, it’s like one of those ones…it’s a roller coaster, right? They do all this cool stuff, they use more non-trad…they use traditional ways to deal with these AT-AT walkers which were new, which were already…or maybe there was a couple AT-AT walkers in other movies, but they’re two-legged…oh no, so they’re not…AT-DT…AT-STs or something. But they go…have all this battle, and then it seems like they…all is one. They finally get to the…they end up getting separated and I think Leia gets to the…and a couple other people get to the blast doors and they’re trying to break the code, but they can’t break the code to get the door open.
Then they think all is lost, but really, that Han and Chewie were…I don’t know. Everything works out. Meanwhile, I’m pretty sure Luke just flies up to the…what do you call it? The Death Star, and Darth Vader’s like, let that ship land; my son’s coming to meet me or something. So, I guess my memory’s…or…worse than terrible about this. So, I’m pretty sure…okay, so the battle goes on. I’m trying to think of anything else I remember about the battle, but basically…’cause I’m saying okay, they still did everything, but they still can’t get in. How did they get into the bunker? I guess I don’t know. So, they’re trying to do that, but they gotta time it, like a lot of these movies…like with these shields. The whole rebel force is coming out of hyper-space right at this one time. I guess Luke’s already on the ship.
Maybe that was after the shield went down. I’m pretty sure Admiral Akbar is there, because he says yeah, don’t worry about it. When’s the shield coming down? Maybe they were already there. They say, you gotta hurry up with the shield. Now meanwhile, Luke’s on there, right? Now, this is a big sequence, especially for a kid, because this was serious intensity. My dad, after the movie, wanted to talk a lot about the Ewoks and this…his generation and kinda where that fit in. But I guess as a kid, I was kind of struck by this. So Luke, I think, goes and says hey, I gotta deal…hey dad, he says yeah, let’s talk. Luke says, what’s going on? He says well, I work for the Emperor. What if we just cut the Emperor out of this? Let’s go meet with him, but let’s just get rid of him and you and I can rule the galaxy together, like I said last time.
Luke says nah, I’m not interested in that. He goes well, let’s just go talk to the governor. Or maybe they…no, no, I guess they go…maybe there’s different pauses and they’re talking while they’re having light saber interactions. But yeah, so I guess they’re having light saber interactions the whole time. Then they end up in the Emperor’s throne room and there’s all this drama. Luke ends up besting Darth Vader, and the Emperor’s watching the whole time. Even Vader’s like come on, we could take the Emperor out, and then the Emperor’s trying to encourage exactly what Yoda warned him about. React, don’t be…don’t think it out or feel your feelings and then try to self-soothe and then decide; just make a rash decision based on your strong, intense feelings.
So, he keeps trying to encourage Luke to do that, which would be adios, Darth Vader. Now…and then Luke says no, no, no; that’s not how it goes. So then, the Emperor gets really mad. He has lightning fingers. He’s kinda like a sorcerer, for sure. He uses lightning fingers on Luke and then Darth Vader makes a choice. He sees Luke, Luke had let him go, so then he goes against the Emperor, toss…now, I guess it didn’t work out. I don’t know how…what…how the Emperor pulled that off, but I wasn’t…I didn’t…I don’t know anything. But he tosses the Emperor, but you can’t really toss somebody while they’re shooting lightning bolts, because then you get lightning bolted yourself. So he says oh boy, Luke, I’m totally in rough shape.
Let me see your face…like, why don’t you kiss my face or something or touch my cheek so I can see you with my own eyes? You’re my son. It really is a heartfelt moment. For the kid, it was like, the effects were a little bit intense. So I said oh boy, but I mean, this was before those other movies got made. So, you get to see Darth Vader for the first time, which I think I guess was a key progression that’s like oh, this is a human being beneath all this armor, and he’s someone’s daddy. I guess he was never anybody’s daddy though; he was just…he’s still a little boy. I guess that’s what we learn through the whole arc. Luke holds him and I think he even takes him…now meanwhile, the shield is down, but things of course still aren’t going easy. I don’t know if they had to do the same thing last time.
I’m pretty sure…now I don’t know if Luke has anything to do with it or anybody else, ‘cause I don’t know, that’s a lot to put on Luke, if he had to get off and then go do something. But I’m pretty sure that the last second, Lando and his gill buddy come in, and they’re spinning around and…but I think that also happened in the first movie, but it was Luke or Han. But anyway, Lando comes. I think Lando is the one who takes out the Death Star. But maybe Luke does something onboard? I don’t remember. Then everybody gets away. Then it has to get all put back together, which actually, they made…did accomplish, especially to the little kids. So, then they just have a party with the Ewoks. The Ewoks are super cute, they’re…I think they’re Henson creations, so they were popular with little kids, but they didn’t really fit so much with the cold technology of Star Wars.
So, I don’t know how well it fit for…like, with your own play acting or your own creations. I never…I mean, I liked the Ewoks, but I didn’t have a lot of Ewok toys. Anyway, so, the Ewoks have a big party. They say goodbye to Darth Vader at the party. Luke tells Leia that he’s…sister. Her hair’s down and everything. Then Leia says…Han says well, I guess you’re gonna marry Luke, huh? Or whatever, something like that. She goes no, he’s my brother. I love you. He goes oh, I love you too. So, then you say oh boy, that’s tied up nicely. Then we see Luke’s dad, Anakin Skywalker, technically, old Ani. You want an old backstory, watch the Ani musical from Starkid. Then…what else happens? So then…oh, we see Obi-Wan, Yoda, and Ani Skywalker all together. They made amends somehow.
Maybe in the other universe, it’s easier to make amends or whatever. It goes quicker or you have total Force knowledge. You say oh well, people make mistakes. So, they all do that and then I think that’s it. Everybody says well, this is great, and then it flashes…and in some sense you said oh, okay, that was it. That’s too bad the movies are over. I mean, for me, I could…still had opportunity to go back eventually and see the first two movies. But yeah, I guess that’s what I remember from Return of the Jedi, which is not…I would not say is super-accurate, but yeah, that’s what…that’s the Tale of the Tape in my mind of Return of the Jedi. Thanks everybody, and goodnight.
[END OF RECORDING]
(Transcription by Leah Hervoly)
- Grammarian Guard
- Gill-Based Being (GBB)
- Kissed by the Mysticism
- Murder, She Wrote
- The Fox & The Hound
- Ani musical by Team StarKid
Notable Talking Points:
- What movie or sitcom set would you want to live on?
- Was El DeBarge on the Barge?
- Ewoks didn’t quite fit with the cold technology of Star Wars