1069 – Small Magic Unboxed

Notable Language:

• Stacy Staywen, Councilor at Large
• Electronic Rating Pen
• Grand Perennial Comic Magic Stunt

Notable Culture:

• “Raspberry Beret” – Prince
• Mystery Show podcast
• Better Call Saul

Notable Talking Points:

• The first self-lofting baffle
• Oh man, if these handkerchiefs could talk …
• Could be magic, but I’m not smart enough to know

Episode 1069 – Small Magic Unboxed

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Friends beyond the binary, it’s time for the podcaster who’s trying to learn the best…I was…I had a joke, but I don’t think it’s funny or…I said, he was trying to learn his ino from his ono.  But you say, that’s pretty…who would have to learn the difference between a ino and a ono?  I say oh no, that got…I could have done a joke with that.  You say ino, I say ono.  Let’s all slowly stop…barely pay attention to me so you could fall asleep.  If you’re confused, you’re in the right place, ‘cause it’s time for Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  Patrons, I could not do this without all of you.

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts, things on your mind that you’re thinking about, thoughts; those are my thoughts.  They’re on my mind, they’re in my mind, they’re all around.  The feelings that…thoughts about the past, present, the future, feelings, anything coming up for you emotionally, it could be related to the thoughts or feelings that are just there or something else, physical sensations, could be any changes; time, temperature, routine, expectations, anticipation, travel, mysteries.

 

So many mysteries are getting in the way of my sleep.  Baffles…it’s been a while since we’ve…I mean, I’ve talked about the baffling nature of sleep.  It’s…probably hasn’t been that long since I’ve talked about baffles.  Have I talked about my baffles in this way; have I…if you meet someone norm…in any other circumstance except this podcast, I think, if someone came up to you and said…what did I say?  Have we talked about my baffles in this way?  Have I talked to you about my baffle issue?  Are you baffled, sir?  No, no, no; I have this baffle-based issue.  It’s not a baffle…well, it is.  It’s baffle-based.  I need some help with some…I have…it’s not baffling, actually.  It’s not baffling at all.  I’m frustrated by my baffles.  Then they say okay, I’m afraid our time is up.  That’s what they…it says okay, I’m afraid we’re getting close to time.

 

Are you doing…?  Then he would say…this is my…the guy I work with.  He says, are you doing podcast material or is this…are you serious?  Oh, boy.  You get a little…got a little sight right into my insides there, everybody.  But whatever’s keeping you awake, I’m here to take your mind off of it and keep you company so that you can fall asleep.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where I smooth…if there’s any baffles…I don’t know.  I don’t know; I guess baffles…I guess maybe…so, normally with the safe place, I smooth it, I pat it, I rub it down, and then with the baffles, I would poof it back up.  So, maybe we’ll talk about that more.  What’s a baffle?  Good question.

 

My impression of a baffle is it’s some sort of shape stitched into some sort of…any sort of bedding filled with a material that’s not…that’s a non-solid form.  So, there’s…there can be material with air in between it, probably to trap warm air and also to offer some loft.  Oh yeah, baffles and loft; that’s the other word I was looking for.  I need loft in my baffles.  Is Emma…did Emmett…did Emmett…the company that represents Emmett Otter stop listening to the podcast?  ‘Cause if they did, there’s another song for Emmett Otter 3.  Emmett Otter’s Jug Band Bedtime.  There’s loft, there’s…I need loft in my baffles.  That has a nice amount of syllables; my baffles have lost their loft.  That’s not…that could be a part of the song.  I’m trying to think of other ones, ‘cause I need loft in my baffles.

 

I guess that could be more of a pick-you-up thing, you know.  But that could be one…maybe during a road trip montage.  They’re going on a road trip to find lofts for their baffles.  That would be a metaphorical journey, obviously, ‘cause they would never…they’d say, mom said baffles are…you know where you find your baffles in your loft; always at home.  That’s where…or something like that.  So, that solved that one.  Oh, so, I’m gonna try to create a safe place and then I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, deep, dark night.  I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones.  That means my voice is imperfect, but it’s here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff, not traditionally soothing.

 

Pointless meanders and superfluous tangents; you just got a few of those, ‘cause I…a pointless meander was about the baffles, then the superfluous tangent was about Emmett Otter, the new Emmett Otter special.  Then I went…I guess…I don’t know if it was a superfluous tangent or a…whatever the other one is, a pointless meander, when I said okay…then I started to speculate on what song and what order of the lyrics would be best for Emmett.  Then it’s like, well, what would the plot of Emmett Otter’s special about baffles and loft be?  I don’t like this…my baffles done lost their loft.  That actually does work.  Normally I’d say I don’t know about that, but…lost their loft does work.  My baffles have lost their loft.  That sounds more like a nursery rhyme.  Anyway, just a couple ideas.  That’s pointless meanders.

 

So, if you’re new, this show could be very…well, it could be…no, this show is very strange, especially when you first listen.  It can also be frustrating, annoying, irritating, not everyone’s cup of tea when you first listen.  It could stay that way, but for most people that become regular listeners, I guess obviously that changes.  This is something that has been recommended probably a million times, is give it a few tries before you give up on the show.  Just see how it goes.  But if you’re coming here skeptical or doubtful, that totally makes sense because this show is one of many sleep audios, and there’s so many different sleep products and sleep solutions.

 

Our show is more process-based, but if you’ve tried a lot of stuff like I have and a lot of quaint advice you get from relatives and stuff, you say okay, that stuff only doesn’t…it never really works totally for me, or it takes too much work or I can’t consistently do it, or it doesn’t consistently work for me.  So, if you came here, of course you’re gonna be frustrated.  One, I don’t know if this is gonna work, and somebody recommended it.  The show does not sound like you probably expected; creaky, dulcet tones and a bit strange.  I say, you’re right.  So, let me give you some more information if you want to give it a try and see how it goes, ‘cause the reason I make the show is because you’re important and your sleep is important.  I don’t just believe that; I know it is true.

 

You deserve a safe place where you can get some rest and some sleep.  I know how it feels and a lot of other people listening right now…we might not be able to identify with exactly what you’re going through, but a lot of us can identify with how it feels in the deep, dark night or in the morning not getting enough rest or anticipating bedtime and it being a rigmarole.  We can identify with those things ‘cause we know how it feels.  So, if I can help with you, not only is it important because you deserve some respite, but it’s important because if you get the rest you need, your life will be more manageable.  Believe me, I know what it’s like to have a unmanageable life from sleeplessness and other things, and it’s not pleasant, right?  You deserve more than that.

 

If this could be one of those stepping stones for you to get the rest you need, for things to be more manageable, for you to flourish, that means your world’s a better place to be in, and we’re all in this community together, or planet, or whatever, spaceship Earth, Planet Earth, whatever they call it.  So, that’s why the show is important to me.  So, I hope you give it a few tries.  Let me give you this…some of the strange stuff about the show.  This is a podcast you don’t really listen to.  You just kinda barely listen, and so, you kinda say oh, okay…like, some people listen as background noise, some people listen as they’re falling asleep.  So, if you’re paying attention and waiting for it to get sleepy, it’s better off you kinda pay attention to me…I mean, I’m not worthy of your full attention.

 

I’m just saying that because it might not be obvious at this point.  You say oh, okay…you’re like okay, yeah; you and…you’re making up Emma…Emmett Otter songs, huh?  I don’t even know who Emmett Otter is, but obviously a singing otter with the name Emmett or Emma.  Okay, yeah.  So, just kinda nod along with me.  It’s just like if you called someone and you asked…say hey, can you talk to me for a while?  I’m not gonna pay attention; I’m gonna fall asleep, or put the TV on in the other room so I can hear it, so I have something to keep me company in the deep, dark night.  I’m here to take your mind off of stuff, to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie, your bore-bor, your neigh-bore, your bore-friend, to keep you company while you fall asleep.

 

So, you don’t need to listen to me, but you can.  I’ll be here for the whole episode to keep you company.  So, it’s kind of like this weird, optional thing.  That’s one of the things that makes the show work, and it also doesn’t put you to sleep.  I keep you company while you drift off.  So, those are two hurdles for new listeners, understandably.  Then the structure of the show can also throw people off, but I’ll explain it to you ‘cause it’s very intentional.  The show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, then I say something ideally witty and hilarious, but that’s what I strive for.  You say well, it wasn’t bad.  I don’t remember what you said, but I kinda barely smiled.  I say great, job done.

 

So, the intro’s my…ideally that you feel welcomed in, seen, and you say okay, the tone of the show’s a little bit different.  Then the goal of the podcast is to come out twice a week for free, and we do that through our sponsors, our listener support, then we also have support for the people who listen to the show if you’re having a tough time, and support for the communities around the show that we want to stay involved in, because I’ve found that just feeling a little bit more empowered and being of service to others is something that does positively impact sleep.  Your overall wellbeing is good.  Like, being a part of community and being a part of service to others.  So, that’s that part.  Then there’s an intro which is separate from the support and all that.

 

Sometimes people just lump it all together, but somewhere around six, eight minutes into the show ‘til about twenty minutes in the show is the intro.  The intro is a show within a show where I try to explain what the podcast is and it takes me twelve to eighteen to twenty minutes to do so, and I don’t do so necessarily successfully, but it’s also a transition time.  So, a lot of listeners are getting ready for bed, they’re getting in bed getting comfortable, they’re doing a wind-down routine, and that’s what the intro is for.  It’s like, a drifting off time.  It’s like setting the stage for sleep.  Now, there is a small percentage of listeners that are sleeping, there’s a small percentage of listeners that skip the intro, but there’s actually more people that listen to all intros than skip the intro or fall asleep during the intros.

 

But then they fall asleep during all-intros.  That’s on Patreon.  But so, it’s just meant to be part of your bedtime or your wind-down routine.  Even if you’re in bed drifting off, it’s like a slow lowering and drifting away and getting away from the day and getting comfortable, easing you into bedtime.  Then there’s sponsor support again so the show can come out twice a week for free, and then there will be our bedtime story.  Tonight we’ll be doing some unboxing of magic tricks but not revealing how they’re done.  That’s a part of our partnership in raising awareness for the Midnight Mission, and you could find out more.  You could sign up for our newsletter, you could be a part of positive change, and be empowered at sleepwithmepodcast.com/badmagic.

 

If you want to see me do some magic tricks for free, you just sign up for that newsletter for free.  So, that’s…then there’s a bedtime story, then there’s thank-yous.  So, that’s the structure of the show.  If you don’t like the show, I have a list of other sleep podcasts and sleep audio at sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou.  So, you could try to find something there that helps.  I think that’s it.  That’s why I make the show, that’s the structure of the show.  I’m really glad…oh, I was gonna talk about baffles quick.  Okay, so we established a baffle is something that ideally holds some sort of fabric or batting or a loose, fiber-fill type material in with loft, which means separated by air in some sort of pocket within a piece of bedding; a quilt or a comforter would be the most popular versions of that.

 

My issue has been…and it’s just due to my own tossing and turning and whatever else is going on in my bed that I have to…I’ve been having to re-loft my bedding, re-loft my baffles every single night.  I think I even made a episode about this, but I have to shake out my main comforter and really re-loft it, because…I don’t know.  So, I guess I’m not that baffle…pretty simple.  I guess I’m just…I find it…I say I wish…I mean, I guess you could…there was once upon a time a pair of sneakers called the Pump or something, where you pumped them up.  I don’t think that would be efficient for…but a self-baffling…self-lofting baffle.  Wait a second, that does sound like something we could sell, at least.  He’s invented the first self-lofting baffle.  You say, it doesn’t self-loft.  What about a perpetually-lofting baffle?

 

Is that…that’s not possible, huh?  That would break time and space once again.  Auto-baffle…how about a baffle…auto-baffler?  That’s this podcast.  That would be my name.  Say…with different superheroes; the Auto-baffler.  That’s my hobby.  Say, what’s Scooter doing?  Probably auto-baffling himself.  Say, but that’s not about bedding; that’s…I’m confused.  I’m automatically confused.  Different kind of baffle.  But yeah, the Auto-baffler 1000, Gene.  You could take it home today if you get this price…prices correct.  So anyway, I’m glad you’re here.  I work really hard, I yearn and I strive, and I really hope I can help you fall asleep.  Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to do it for you for free twice a week.

 

Alright everybody, it’s Scoots here and I’m back with another unboxing magic episode.  I wish I would have thought of that the first episode.  I just thought of it now.  What does unboxing magic mean?  Now, this one…these next ones I’ll do over the next, whatever, year; I mean, these will be slowly leaked out.  Oh boy, is it exciting.  I found through…you know, what people would call a secondhand store.  I would…I don’t think I found it…here’s the thing; if I found a raspberry beret, please remind me, don’t put it in your mouth.  Whether I find it at a…well, I guess he didn’t know.  He was…Prince; I’m talking about Prince right now.  Talk about magic.  In the song Raspberry Beret, Prince I guess was speculating, ‘cause Prince said the kind you find at a…she wore a raspberry beret.  I think there was a video for it.

 

I think it was a dreamy video, or these are my impressions.  Oh, what…I thought this was unboxing magic.  What?  If it’s a Prince box set and you’re unboxing it, you’re unboxing magic, man.  But that…in that song, Prince…that song was about…I don’t know what it was about.  But the part that got caught in my head that now I’m going off-topic about, Prince was saying she wore a raspberry beret, the kind you find at a secondhand store.  Then reminding us once again that the song’s not about the secondhand store, Scoots. It’s about…she wore a raspberry beret.  I would say I’m pretty sure the majority of reasonable people would say it’s a raspberry-colored beret, Scoots.  I’d say okay, so it’s not a beret made of raspberries?  That makes sense.  Probably can’t get that at a secondhand store anyway.  I got mixed up again.

 

Well, yeah, if you bought a…I guess you could say it was made from dried raspberries.  Even then…but I was thinking it could be a raspberry…well, you’re right, we should just move on.  Well, is it…this was the 80s when a lot of things were scented.  They must have invented something in the 80s where you could make stuff smell like stuff.  Maybe it didn’t…well, ‘cause the scratch-and-sniffs…scratch-and-sniff stickers, that was a whole thing.  They have it now, or they have…lip balm’s the most…one of those things that smells like good stuff.  But I don’t think it was…if…’cause you wouldn’t want to wear a scratch-and-sniff beret, though it wouldn’t be bad if…here’s an idea; let’s invent a…beret-makers and scent-makers of the world, I mean, talk about magic is a raspberry beret.

 

When you get…when you’re working up…that has some sort of warming…when you get warm, it smells like raspberries.  It’s also…could be colored raspberry.  You say well, she wore a chocolate beret, something that’s easy for a stutterer to say.  You could smell the chocolate as she walked away.  That would be my…that’s my song.  That would be a downbeat song.  Okay, so, we’re talking magic though, here.  So, I’ve gone…I’ve found…I had a quest; I quit the quest because sometimes I take on these quests and I don’t know when to say when.  That’s one of the main stories in my life, how I got sober.  Actually it was bigger than that, but…even…I have to remind myself that I don’t know when to stay when…don’t know when to say when or stay when.  Staywhen; that could be a character’s name.  But John Staywhen.

 

Any relation to John Stamos?  No, because it just has Stay in the last name.  Stacy Staywhen at large.  Counsellor at large.  Vote for Stacy Staywhen, counsellor at large.  Not sure what that means, but I’ve always wanted to say it on a podcast.  So, okay…so, I’ve…I haven’t quit the quest; I’ve temporarily placed it on hold due to having too much stuff and not setting a budget.  I don’t think I exceeded my budget, ‘cause I didn’t…I definitely got…this was one of those times I got way, way, way more than I paid for.  Well, probably too many ways.  Definitely way more than I paid for.  The value and the cost were perfectly aligned.  So, the quest was…once I…this is it the connection I made, that…the magic kits of my youth I would find at garage sales.  I said to myself, I wonder if any secondhand stores have magic stuff.

 

I mean, that’s a whole ‘nother level of magic, magic of used things, but it turns out they do.  It turns out I was able to acquire…in the first episode we did a magic kit or a magic set, but I was also able to acquire a couple lots, L-O-T-S of magic stuff, where a certain organization…I guess they were…either someone who’s a magician person who collected magic tricks or some visionary somewhere were reaping the benefits of a visionary.  I don’t say that lightly.  I do say it in the meaning of a person who has vision.  They were a visionary.  Now, we don’t know whom.  This could be another podcast…this could be a good episode for some podcast I don’t even know.  It used to be the Mystery Show.  They could uncover it.

 

But is…so, okay, so from a certain used donation where you donate used goods, they had a L-O-T, a collection…an undisclosed number of magic tricks you could buy in a bag.  I purchased two of them.  They had two; I purchased both.  So, I’m saying there was a visionary, because either someone who had a home full of magic tricks, very well-maintained magic tricks, by the way…and most of them seemingly purchased at independent magic shops or on the internet from independent magicians, so no big…not a lot of big magic here.  We got a lot of indie magic, man.  Believe me, I’m saying none of this with snark or irony or shnark.

 

So, but someone had a vision, whether it was the person who donated it or someone worked at this…or it was a magic store that donated it that went to the big retail farm in the sky, or it was someone who worked at this organization who said hey, why don’t we organize all these things together and then…’cause it’s gonna be tough to move this one trick.  So, what I’m saying complimentary to the visionary…I don’t know who’s vision I’m complimenting, but I’m saying we’re the beneficiaries of that visionary.  I think that’s clear now that I’ve stated it.  So, what we’re gonna do here is I’m gonna reach into a box fill…and you wont hear any of this ‘cause it’ll be edited out of the show.  That’s a little magic of editing.  I’m gonna pull out a magic trick, I’m gonna look at it, we’re gonna talk about it.  Maybe I’ll go on tangents.

 

Who knows where it leads us.  This is the kinda stuff…this is when I really love making the podcast.  I don’t know if you’ve…hear it in my voice.  We get to go down a meandering…I went down one meandering road.  Now we get to go down the road together.  I haven’t…I perused them because I took them out of the bag and I put them in a smaller box so they’d be organized, but I didn’t really look at them or anything like that.  So, it’ll be…this is gonna be exciting stuff.  Also, don’t…I’ll…don’t ask me to perform magic, ‘cause I won’t be good at it.  Trying to convince my daughter to do it and get into it.  What was my other thing?  I don’t know.  So, let’s do it and then we’ll just see how it goes.  Maybe I’ll talk about some other magical experiences I’ve had.  Okay, the first one is a wallet.

 

Actually, I think…okay, well…so, this one…oh boy.  Now, it doesn’t have any instructions, doesn’t have any wrapping.  It is a…what you may classify as a tri-fold wallet.  I think this is maybe more of a…what do they call it?  It’s not a gimmick…a gag versus a magic trick, but maybe not.  So, this one looks like it probably shouldn’t be in my hands.  It has…so, it’s some sort of pleather and inside it, it looks like if you were gonna do some sort of trick where…this kinda thing, you definitely need the instructions for, or you gotta do it outside.  But you may have seen it before where a magician opens a wallet and it’s like a gas stove and…or like a lighter.  Actually, when I open the wallet, it looks like there’s some sort of…I don’t know.  I don’t understand it, so I’m gonna put it away.

 

Okay, now this one is in a bag and there’s multiple pieces of paper.  These are money tricks but with what seemingly looks like real currency.  This is definitely the kinda thing you either bought or a friend gave someone.  They’re all printed on paper that was printed out from a printer or a Xerox copy machine.  So, this is India’s magic gets…this one is the floating dollar bill, the first trick.  Oh, you make a table from a playing card and then place the dollar bill on it.  Then you make the dollar bill float.  Magic.  Then you place everything back in your pocket and you take a bow.  Inside…again, I don’t reveal tricks, but it looks like there’s the card to make the table and you provide your own bill.

 

So, it’s a card…cut playing card that you would make into a table that you would hold in your hand, in the palm of your hand, just like the…him says, or the church song says.  I’m gonna hold the playing card in the palm of my hand and make something float.  Okay, next trick is a torn and restored bill.  Now, no offense to the magic we had before, the other magic set.  Maybe I’ll do these out of order; maybe this is the first one.  This looks like it’s reusing…now, that’s why…another reason I won’t say the name of the company, because it looks like they’re really using real currency.  That’s gonna be…make it more magical, you know.  Especially with kids if it’s a fake dollar.  So, let’s see the effect so we don’t have to do it.

 

Dollar bill is taken from the magician’s wallet, shown to the audience, torn in half, and then into four quarters, and then displayed as a fan, folded into a packet and then opened and completely restored.  Holy cow, there’s no trick in there.  It must be just instructions on how to do it, maybe.  But here’s a thank-you card from this company.  They’re selling them on different internet places.  For this one, you did not receive a real dollar bill, but this is…we’re sorry, but this is an error.  We couldn’t afford to keep real dollar bills for this trick, so you will have to prepare a bill for the card, or for the trick.  Understandable, ‘cause they don’t want to lose all their profit, giving away dollar bills to be torn up.  Okay, this next one is a pencil through the bill.  This one, the magician shows them the bill, folds a piece of paper around the bill.

 

A pencil is pushed through the paper and the bill all the way through, removed; the paper and the bill are opened.  There’s a hole in the paper but no mark on the bill itself.  It comes…well…oh no, it doesn’t come…there’s another note that says thanks a lot.  We didn’t include a bill because…but we’ll tell you how to do it.  Again, understandable.  This one is…the self-folding bill, one of the best tricks in magic.  A normal bill is placed in the hand.  The magicians command the bill slowly and mysteriously begins to fold itself.  Holy cow.  It is seen to fold first in half, then into fourths, then into eights.  This sounds amazing.  It does sound…one of the best effects…and then is handed out for inspection.  There is a bill in there and it does say, again, in the preparation; this is one of the best effects possible.

 

So, that should be cool.  The next one is bill transposition.  Incredible bill routine.  This has a long effect.  Two bills shown; one five-dollar, one one-dollar.  Magician closes their hand around both bills, with left hand removes one dollar bill.  So close your eyes; picture that.  He does this very slowly, showing it fairly to the audience, closes his hand around it.  Magician questions the audience as to which bill was in which hand.  The spectators claim they saw the dollar bill in the left hand and the dollar bill should still be in the right hand.  But the magician opens their hands, showing the five-dollar bill in the left and the one-dollar in the right.  The bills have switched places, but the same effect is shown again.  This time, the bills begin in the spectator’s hand.

 

The magician removes the dollar bill from the spectator’s closed hand, places it within his own, pretends to pluck the five-dollar bill.  When both hands are open, the spectator now has the dollar bill.  The magician has the five-dollar bill.  All of this happens in the spectator’s hand!!!  Triple exclamation point.  The spectator can even inspect the one-dollar bill.  I don’t know how the trick is done, but it looks like there’s a bill in the kit.  Okay, then this one I think is missing a page.  Oh yeah, here we go.  Someone was at…this must have been the only trick that somebody was looking at how to do it.  Bill through bill.  Two bills are shown; one is folded within the other.  Slowly and mysteriously, the one bill begins to pass through the other sides of the bill and are shown to the spectators.

 

It comes with the bill, so that’s interesting.  So, this is some money magic.  Oh, speaking of money magic, here’s…this is a bag and it…I don’t know if there’s any instructions in here, so…well, let’s lean into it, right?  It says floating quarter, wavy, from Coin Magic.  I don’t see any instructions, so this is the kinda thing I’m gonna have to look up on the internet.  But then in a little bag is a…well, let me open up the bag.  So, in the bag is more coins, so I don’t know if you can do more magic or not.  It has two pennies and three quarters in different arrays of…some of the quarters are whole and some are not whole.  I would assume the whole quarter is the floating quarter.  It’s from 1979.  Oh yeah, you want to know?  You oughta know by now, am I right?  It has something on there, though.  Huh.

 

I don’t know if this is one of those ones where the magician can break the coin.  Who knows.  Oh, I was trying to figure out what mint it’s from.  I don’t see it, so it may not be actual, real…interesting.  This is some sort of magical gimmick quarter, but I don’t know how to operate it.  So…oh boy, I see something.  I wish I was a magician.  Huh.  So, this is definitely some sort of magic quarter.  So, that one we don’t have any…we don’t know the tricks, but it seems like you could make a quarter float in water, maybe put quarters together, take them apart, I don’t know.  Okay, this is another unlabeled bag with a red handkerchief inside.  I know this is the kind of thing that’s like oh man, if these handkerchiefs could talk, would I want to know what they have to say?  But I don’t know.

 

This is just…it’s 100% silk, red handkerchief, so this is the kinda thing only a magician would know what to do.  I do know…well, I can’t do it.  I don’t know.  It’s a magician’s handkerchief that a magician could use to perform magic.  It’s red, it’s silky, and I mean, I do know…I couldn’t successfully do it, which shows that I’m…I don’t have that kind of…but I do know some magicians can make handkerchiefs really small and then make them appear and stuff like that.  So, that’s cool.  So, I will talk right now…so, we’ll just use a little tangent interlude here.  There was one of my favorite magic shows that I saw…was when I was volunteering at the Anthony Quinn Public Library in east Los Angeles, so shout-out to Anthony Quinn Public Libraries in east LA.

 

People wrote…summer reading programs everywhere, so I was volunteering helping out with the summer reading program there after summer school.  Back when I was a teacher…well, in the summer, you weren’t a PE teacher, so I was just a teacher’s aide.  So, I volunteered at this thing and sometimes they had programming, right?  I got to do Bingo and…you say Scoots, what’s your Bingo like?  I say well, Saul Goodman did it the same way I do it.  So, if you’ve seen Better Call Saul, you’ve seen how I do my Bingo.  Exact same style.  But so, the one time the librarian said okay, today we have this magic show and we have two magicians coming.  So, this is LA and if you live in LA, you’re…the quality of programming you get and enthusiasm particularly is always gonna be…I think you just have much more variety to choose from.

 

At least the enthusiasm; even if the quality isn’t as good…I talked about this before with different assemblies we used to have at the school I worked at and how inspirational it was.  But so, I think just because so many people are interested in performance and have their hopes and their dreams, that you’re always in for a good time.  This really turned out to be the case for this magic show, because it was two youth.  I had to say youth because I guess…wait, I was like…I think I was twenty-one or twenty-two years old and they were younger than me, so these were high-school aged youth, maybe even younger.  One of the…they seemed to be best friends and one of them was named Hawaiian Cam.  They had…my favorite part of the magic show; the kids loved it.

 

It was what you would call…there were better magicians than me.  We could say that with…as a definitive fact.  More importantly for a public performance, they had fun, they had enthusiasm, and it seemed like they had joy in their hearts.  Were they good magicians even though they were better magicians than me?  I would say probably not, but my favorite thing that they did was they took turns.  So, they weren’t a team…maybe they were a team, but they were also…and all youth appreciate this; some parallel…they weren’t doing parallel magic play.  But so, what they would do is when it was one of the other person’s turn…so, they had their little magician stage set up or a stand, you know, and they were using a lot of kit magic which is fine, because we’re talking magic stuff right now.

 

But what they would do…this is probably one of the…other than cute animals, this was very cute.  It was…I would say it was adorable.  One of them, when it wasn’t their turn, they would just duck behind the stage.  But it was literally…one of them was standing behind it too, and it was barely the width of a human waist.  But they would duck down in a magical way.  Not like they were disappearing, but they would disappear.  All the kids were laughing and they…so, it was great.  It was one of the top highlights of my life that when you look back on stuff, you’re like wow, I was lucky to be there for that one, and I also got to do Bingo at some point, so that was…those are two…I didn’t even realize I had to knock those things off my list, but I did.  We got another one.

 

This has a price tag on it, so we can assume that…and it comes in a bag with a hang, so this could have been from a magic shop.  It was $4.50.  It’s easy to do and it says it’s hilarious comedy magic.  The incredible three-and-a-half of clubs trick.  What I can see is in one side…I’ll pull out the instructions; there’s a…one die and a couple cards.  Actually, a couple cards and then…it’s only one sheet.  This is really…I don’t know who I gotta get in touch with.  This could be…it’s just so interesting thinking about how the internet has affected magic probably in a positive way, making it more accessible.  But I love magic shops, so I guess I am a little torn.  But so, this is the…so, it’s been around a long time, it says.  It offers opportunity for great comedy magic.  This is printed on authentic bicycle stock.

 

So, effect one; the magician states he has previously removed a card from the deck and placed it in his pocket.  The spectator selects a card.  The magician removes the card from his pocket and wagers it is the same suit and exactly one-half the value of the spectator’s card.  The spectator’s card is the 7 of clubs.  Not to worry; the magician reveals the three-and-a-half of clubs.  Interesting.  Then effect two; this method is based on an effect called Miko by Milt Court.  One of six cards face-down on the table is selected by a spectator.  The spectator rolls the dice and totals the top and bottom numbers.  The magician states that the selected card is exactly one-half the total of the die.  The die totals 7.  The selection is the three-and-a-half of clubs.  It comes with…oh, okay.

 

So, I found the card; it’s the three-and-a-half of clubs card.  So, it’s kind of…don’t…I still don’t get it ‘cause I don’t know how it works, but sounds interesting, huh?  Okay, this one is heavy.  It’s in two bags.  From what I can see, I see some string and I see some cards, but that’s all I see right now.  Okay, so inside bag one…this is its own lot of magic, I think.  We have extra string in one bag, then more string which looks like it has been used for magic, and then some playing cards.  There are also Bicycle playing cards and then the instructions folded up.  Now we’re getting the history, because this is…looks like it was written on a typewriter and photocopied.  So, but there is a picture of cards.  So, this is Nick’s lie detector card trick.  This is definitely stuff that I don’t know.

 

I think they explain it, ‘cause you have to set it up in a certain order.  Values run…each value…so, this is more advanced.  The routine; explain the deck of cards will act as a lie detector.  Spread the cards down and have someone touch the back of any card, a free choice.  That touched card is laid face-down.  Have the spectator look at the card.  As they do, cut the deck to the point the card was removed.  Complete the cut, and that sets the deck.  Explain that you will ask the spectator about some questions about the card and either…he can either lie or tell the truth in each case.  Whether he lies or tells the truth, you will spell the answer he gives.  So, then you ask questions and figure out if they’re lying or telling the truth somehow.  Yeah.

 

So, I don’t know…so, this seems more advanced and it doesn’t have any string in it.  So, this is really a two-for-one.  I don’t know what these cards are, either, ‘cause it doesn’t have a whole deck of cards here.  So, let’s take these cards out of the wrapper.  Oh, interesting; I don’t know.  These cards aren’t even the same…yeah.  So, who knows what’s…a couple…one, two, three, four Jokers, an Ace, and another card.  I mean, there is a level of intimacy to this.  I guess there is an intimacy just ‘cause we don’t know whose privacy we’re…but yeah, I mean, so this is a bag with bags in it, and not all the instructions.  Really, this is…I’m so grateful to be able to make this podcast and be doing this stuff.  Okay, we got another one here.  Oh boy, so I’m looking at the bag.  There’s a dime, a penny, and a Bic pen in there.

 

Okay, now I’m turning it over and it’s five-minute magic.  Learn to do magic in five minutes.  Electronic rating pen.  Rate your friends on a scale of one to ten.  Three routines.  But there’s also a penny and a dime that don’t seem to be related to the pen.  We’ll just look at the routines.  This is an electronic rating pen…there’s a chip in here that rates people on one to ten.  Hold out your hand, place the penny or the dime, and then say okay, that’s rating…wow.  Then you use it to rate them.  Interesting.  Okay, well…so yeah, I don’t know what that one…maybe it’s to…for a bar.  This one is a cap in a bottle.  Empty bottle of beer, regular cap, then put the cap inside the bottle.  Everyone can see it inside, then take the cap out and give it for examination.

 

After that, put the cap back inside and then give the bottle to a spectator with the cap inside; no one can get it out.  Then the magician can take the cap from the bottle again and take the cap…or take the bottle and take the cap back out, then put the cap back inside, and if he wish, he can give the bottle with the cap inside as a present.  Great gimmick, great gift…or great idea.  So, I have no idea how that works.  I mean, this one’s really intriguing.  Let’s see, this has a credit for somebody that…two great magicians; Bloom from Sphinx magazine and Michael W. and his book, Life Savers.  Great effect, which was my inspiration, the creator of this one.  Yeah.  I mean, it sounds like magic to me.  I may try to do this one with root beer or something…or what do you call it?  Ginger ale.  Okay, so this one again…oh boy, holy moly.

 

We have somebody’s…now, this is hard because this is where we’re finding this.  This is a conjuration society thing.  It says thank you for your order.  They ordered it on the internet and I guess definitely ordered on the internet back in the day, because the websites and stuff were interesting.  But let’s take a look.  Oh no, this is…so, it’s…be it known that John Doe is recognized in the society as a member with all rights, given this 8th day of May, 1790.  Pretty cool.  Oh, you can get a free membership…oh, the above certificate is all in fun.  Composed in Microsoft Word.  Oh, so you can get a free certificate if you want.  Okay, and this one…oh boy.  It’s like, three pamphlets, one of which is a bonus.  One is seven easy classics of magic, how to read minds, and 102 easy magic tricks.

 

The 102 easy magic tricks, the…a lot of the things is…looks like…what do you call it?  A lot of it looks like the kinda cartoons you’d see in a comic book or whatever.  It just has a bunch of little tiny simple magic tricks.  How to read minds…read mine?  It’s going off-topic.  Let’s see…oh, it’s…doesn’t have any…I don’t know if it actually has tricks.  Interesting.  So, you’d have to read through this to figure…to get to your thing.  Then this one is secret…seven select magic.  Torn and restored napkin.  This one was printed in 1996.  Penetrating paper balls, a dollar bill from the air…this is a very good opening trick; surprises the audience.  Being a trick with money interests everyone.  Cool.  Floating paper ball…this is…I’m trying to figure how to…yeah, I can’t really read it ‘cause it doesn’t want to…I’m not spoiling any tricks here.

 

Swirling handkerchief…shirt-pulling stunt…this is one of those grand parential magic…comic magic stunts that baffles the audience.  Las Vegas, Atlantic City…could be…this has been done on TV.  The lazy magician’s card trick…so, those are some of the ones that came in this group of tricks.  Then this one is called glass box penetration.  Let’s see.  The effect; a toothpick seemingly penetrates a matchbox which is later shown to be…contain a solid block of glass.  This person says jeez, this…I was invited to go to this one magic thing.  I developed the magic box presentation effect…all that glass because I needed a magician fooler.  Knowing I was performing in front of an audience that was expecting the brass block, I knew the heat would be on.  So, I think this is just…I don’t think this is any…I don’t know.

 

So, this is just a yellow piece of paper.  There is a red thing, but it’s…that I found loose in the box, but I think that’s…I don’t think they’re related.  Color-changing rope; easy to do.  A rope changes instantly in color from white to red.  That’s it, coloring-changing rope.  Flashy magic.  This is another one printed…$10 from one company.  Hunter’s monte.  The street swindle becomes a visual…visually stunning routine.  Only a couple moves which are easily taught are required to perform this.  It comes with bonus tips, too.  It comes from the routine of Rudy, who used this routine in front of thousands of laypeople.  Cocktail parties, table-hopping.  Paying public loves this routine.  It’s hoped you will get as much out of it.  I want to see the…so, it doesn’t have anything without me revealing it, so…but it sounds cool.

 

Out of all the tricks, it’s like oh, that one I might try.  Now, this one has a thing of playing cards, a picture frame, and then the instructions in this bag.  So, this could be anything.  Okay, this is a mind-reading picture frame.  The effect; a magician displays an ordinary, empty picture frame, explains that they can read minds.  They cover it with cloth and the spectator chooses a card from the deck.  The cards return to the deck; the deck is put away.  Magician tries to guess the value of the chosen card, but fails.  He then whisks away the cloth covering the frame, and the card is seen in the frame behind the glass.  The magician looks into the frame and then guesses the card.  So, interesting.  Okay, here’s another one.  This one’s called floating match.  In the bag is the instructions and some playing cards, it looks like.

 

So, let’s see if they’re one trick or two.  Okay, so the playing cards are in some cellophane.  Floating match…the effect; this fantastic effect in which the magician holds a playing card and places a matchstick on top of it.  He gives some magical passes and slowly, the…and eerily, the matchstick floats above the card.  Another card is passed under the floating stick to prove it has no connection with the card.  The stick is commanded to descend, and it does slowly come down and rest, and then is returned to the astonished spectator.  Wow, so that’s cool.  Maybe asking yourself Scoots, how are these done?  I say, I don’t know.  I don’t really…if I…even if I knew, I would have already forgot.  It’s a miracle I’m making a sleep podcast.

 

Okay, I don’t know if this one has instructions.  This one has a piece of paper, two keys, and some string on there, and the paper has something written on there.  But this may be…maybe someone’s performing magic on me even as we speak.  This is a key to a regal cinema.  I’m not kidding.  It says regal cinema and there’s two keys in here with string.  Is it magic?  Getting into a regal cinema would be magic.  Okay, I found another one here.  It’s a plastic bag with some sort of billfold instructions.  This one’s called the wave.  Congrats on your purchase of the wave.  What is the wave?  Four blank face cards are shown by the magician.  The spectator selects in their mind a Jack; for example, the Jack of hearts.  The magician spreads the four blank cards and the one of them magically becomes a Jack.

 

Then the other cards are turned over and they’ve changed, too.  So, some sort of magic trick with a bunch of cards.  Yeah, interesting.  Okay, this one is…was $3 and it just has instructions in a baggie.  Oh no, it doesn’t; it has a piece of cellophane in there which may be part of it.  This is an old one ‘cause it’s typewritten.  See-through glass board.  See-through glass board; three cards.  Let the audience choose one of the cards.  The magician takes out one transparent…one…I don’t know.  This might be mixed in the box somewhere, but I don’t want to accidentally spoil the trick.  But yeah, somehow magic happens with see-through cards.  Oh, this one has a magic…this is a black silk bag and it is an unopened box of cards, a magical…a gimmick finger…you say well, this is the magician’s finger.

 

I don’t know if it will make me more magic.  Two coins that say magic on them, but they’re not real…I mean, they’re some sort of magic coins.  Some rope…so, I think this was one of the tricks I could actually do.  I mean, this…I don’t know if necessarily this is one of those ones where you’re probably showing…there’s three different lengths of rope.  You know, the magicians do that and then somehow they make them all the same or whatever.  I don’t know how they do it, but this has three different lengths of rope; medium, short, and long.  Then the cards, I have no idea if they’re real cards or magic cards, ‘cause they were still in the wrapper.  Okay, we’re getting down to it.  There’s magic card tricks from Bicycle playing cards, a list of magic tricks in there.

 

Impossible matrix…one of the baffling coin matrix routines ever.  The effect; three coins mysteriously one at a time go beneath…between two playing cards.  It looks impossible because you show your hand’s empty before and after each coin travels.  That’s impossible matrix.  I don’t know if these are the cards that go with it, but there’s these cards with circles on them.  I’m not sure if these are the impossible matrix cards or not.  They’re the playing cards with the blue or yellow circles.  Then there’s a paper bag with two holes punched in it and it says impress.  I don’t think…I don’t know if it’s magic or not.  Then there’s a rubber band and another instructions.  Deluxe card-catcher.  No more long, tedious hours to practice catching cards from the air.  With this device, you can catch cards the first time.

 

I don’t see the metal holder though, but this is some sort of card-catcher you could hold onto or something.  Oh, I think I found it; yeah, it’s some sort of thing you would slip on your finger.  I don’t know how it would catch the cards, so I guess I’ll have to read the instructions.  Then there’s a square board with a grid on it.  I’m not sure if that’s for a magic trick or not.  Another wallet, and I’m not sure if this is a…this actually looks like a real wallet.  There’s nothing in here.  It has a bunch of papers that used to come in the wallet.  Yeah, I don’t know if it’s genuine.  Yeah, this is…I think this is just a normal, everyday wallet.  Could be magic, but I’m not smart enough to know.  It looks like we have a few more tricks.  Rising matchbox and…it’s very heavy, and another magician’s handkerchief, then another bag.

 

We don’t have any instructions.  Let me see.  So yeah, I’ll have to look.  This has a fake $5 bill and a box of cigarettes with what looks like a real cigarette.  Yeah, a real cigarette inside there, and then one more trick.  But this is another one that probably goes to something else.  It’s one card and it has some string, and that’s it.  There’s no…and a piece of blue tack.  Then for later perusal, we have a lot of card…decks of cards.  I’ll just count them; one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen…fifteen different magic card decks that maybe we could cover at another point.  But on behalf of all the magicians…I mean, I love magic.  Even though this was to put you to sleep, it was just me going through magic tricks without any reveals.  Other than my own ability to be here keeping you company.

 

This is what you’d call me for if you were paying me, whatever, what I would charge, which is a lot.  I’d just say okay, let me go through some…I got a box of magic tricks here.  I could go through them for you.  So yeah, from my…it really is magic.  The magic is the gift that you give me of me being able to talk while you get some rest or you feel lonely, to go through this kind of stuff, ‘cause this is…I get to do what I love and help you at the same time.  What an honor.  Thanks and goodnight.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription by Leah Hervoly)