1066 – XO HigherSelf Bunny Michael Crossover

Notable Language:

• Scientifical
• LHBs (Learned Hierarchical Beliefs)
• Inner Peace through the Awareness of Love

Notable Culture:

• XO Higher Self Podcast
• Brené Brown
• “Sittin’ on the Dock of the Bay” song

Notable Talking Points:

• Self-compassion beyond cliched self-love rhetoric
• Compassion for the little kid in me
• See the thing as itself and not how you relate to it

Episode 1066 – XO HigherSelf Bunny Michael Crossover

 

[START OF RECORDING]

 

SCOOTER:    Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, it’s time for the podcaster who thinks that…well, I don’t think; sweet dreams are made…not made of lulls, but enabled…sweet dreams empowered by lulls.  Yeah.  I was gonna say maybe sweet should be used metaphorically or figure…’cause you say well, not too…sweet dreams, but soothing dreams are made of…made from…not made from lulls.  But anyway, what am I talking about?  Well, welcome to Sleep With Me.  It’s time for the podcast that puts you to sleep, and thank you so much for making it possible, my patron peeps.

 

INTRO:    [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing?  Trouble getting to sleep?  Trouble staying asleep?  Well, welcome.  This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep.  We do it with a bedtime story.  Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play.  I’m gonna do the rest.  What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether it’s thoughts that you’re thinking about, things on your mind, so thoughts, thinking stuff; past, present, future.  I specialize in all those thoughts.  Thoughts, feelings…so anything emotionally coming up for you related to those thoughts or that are just there, baffling ones, physical sensations, so anything coming up for you physically, changes in time, temperature, or routine.

 

Those all keep me awake.  Those are just some of the things…so many different things that keep me awake.  But whatever’s keeping you awake, whatever it is, I’m gonna try to keep you company and take your mind off of it so that you could fall asleep.  Or if you can’t fall asleep, that at least you have someone here to keep you company while you’re in bed, someone to keep you company in a low-pressure way.  So, what I propose to do is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night.  I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents.  So, that means I’m gonna kinda go off…my…oh, it means my voice is creaky and dulcet, particularly today.  I think it’s extra creaky, eh?  There’s some extra creak in that…those dulcet tones, but I don’t know.

 

Now I’m picturing myself creaking on the dock of the bay, like I said, in a…on a creaky dock in a creaky…what is that called?  Not a roller chair.  What are those things called?  Rocking chair.  That’s where you’ll find me.  That’s where you’ll find my voice, somewhere between…what are those things called?  The runners on the rocking chair and the creaky dock, maybe the wave…there’s some wave action and there’s my rocking.  Huh, I wonder…they never…they’ve never invented one of those machines that work all the time forever; perpetual motion machine.  Tell you what, scientists, you wouldn’t let me into your particle colliders, you’ve banned me from your particle accelerators, and whatever, whatever a halodron or…is.  You say nope, keep it…don’t let him within fifty miles of that thing.

 

We will not have him near any particles that are accelerating or colliding, except emotionally within him.  But here…there’s a proposal; put me on a dock with a little bit of wave action and a quality rocking chair, though I do think it has to be wooden, like my personality on this podcast, but…and see how it goes.  We could have perpetual…as long as you keep the…as long as you keep me hydrated; I’ll need sunscreen, probably an umbrella, cooler ‘cause I can’t just say…I’m not just gonna drink water if I’m gonna be perpetually rocking in a rocking chair.  Maybe some stuff that they…fancy stuff.  I don’t know.  I don’t know what…I thought of some term, but now I can’t even think of it.  But you know, stuff like they give to marathoners, but probably more taste…probably some pancakes.

 

Maybe not though, ‘cause I don’t know if I want to be in perpetual motion with a stomach full of pancakes.  Forget the pancakes.  I’ll get back to you.  But it’s possible.  But that’s what my voice sounds like; creaky and dulcet.  Pointless meanders you just witnessed, and a superfluous tangent.  That was what just happened there.  I was trying to explain a new podcast to new listeners, or the podcast to new listeners; went off-topic, though that wasn’t bad.  We visited some scientifical places and…scientifical…and a dock by…could be by a bay.  I think this one’s more…in my mind, this is more of an inlet, but yeah, that has wave action.  But also, maybe…well, I don’t know if it could have a beach.  If it’s gonna be effective for perpetual motion, it probably doesn’t have a beach.  Maybe there’s a beach within walking distance.

 

So, there’s an inlet, but if I walk out to the left and over a hill, then I can go down to a beach.  Is that possible to get this…?  Oh, freshwater or salt water?  I don’t know.  Let me know.  Send me your…send your bids today to sleepwithmepodcast.com if you have…as long as there’s some sort of collider or accelerator that I could kinda go visit and say oh no, no; I’m here…I’m working perpetual…did you notice suddenly you got more neutrinos than you…and that dark matter’s really appearing?  Did you notice that was when I was rocking in my rocking chair on a…rocking on my dock, man.  That’s what I do.  I rock the docks.  I’m rocking on a dock.

 

I don’t wear Dockers when I’m rocking my dock on a…I’m not in Dockers, but I could be if it got chilly, though I’d probably…I don’t know if they’d…the…I don’t know if those are my style, though…because those might be a little constraining for my taste, but you know, I could…I’m rocking on a dock.  Okay, so where was I?  Oh, if you’re new, welcome to the show.  So, this is a podcast to put you to sleep, but it’s really here to take your mind off of stuff and keep you company at first.  What I mean by that is that I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night.  You kinda just barely listen to me, which is different than a normal podcast, right, that you listen to.  This is kinda like background noise that you could listen to but you don’t have to, like a boring friend who gives you a call and you say okay, I can’t really pay attention to you now, but could you tell me about those pancakes and your rocking chair again?

 

I’d say sure, that’s my job.  That’s what I’m here to do.  Well, I’m not gonna listen, though.  Don’t worry; that’s what I’m here for.  So, there’s that.  This is also a podcast that doesn’t really put you to sleep.  I’m here to keep you company as you fall asleep or to keep you company if you can’t sleep versus putting you to sleep.  That’s a little bit of pressure.  There’s no pressure here.  I’m here to keep you company and then you just drift off, ideally, but if you can’t drift off, I’ll be here to the very end, particularly on tonight’s show, which is a…I’ll talk about in a second.  But I’m here to keep you company, be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-sib, your bore-cuz, your bore-bestie, your bore-bor, your neigh-bore, your bore-bruh, your bore-friend, your friend in the deep, dark night.

 

Now, a couple other things if you’re new; this is not everybody’s cup of tea, this show.  I’m very niche personality in both real life and on the podcast.  So, you kinda gotta see how it goes.  But most listeners, and I’m talking…I’m not exaggerating; I may have heard this a million different times.  It took two or three tries for me to get used to the podcast as a common refrain, because on the first try, you’re waiting for it to get started or you’re paying attention.  Then on the second try you realize oh, I don’t need to pay so much attention.  Let me just see how it goes.  Then on the third try, you say oh, I just kinda passively…like clouds floating by.  But also, I just…I’m not everybody’s cup of tea, so you may not enjoy me.  Give it a few tries.  If you already don’t enjoy me or strongly, sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou has plenty of other stuff for you to check out.

 

But yeah, I’m here to keep you company while you fall asleep, and the reason I make the show…there’s two reasons; one, I’ve been there.  All those things about sleep, I deal with.  So, if I can keep you company in the deep, dark night, I know how it feels there.  I know how it feels to dread bedtime or to…I know what those feelings are, so if I can help with that, it’s important to me, ‘cause I know how it feels.  I might not know exactly what you’re going through, but I kinda know what it feels like in the deep, dark night.  That’s why I repeat that so much.  But the other side of it is, it’s my deep belief, because I don’t just believe it; I know it is true that you deserve a good night’s sleep.

 

You deserve a place you can get some rest and get a bedtime you could look forward to or at least feel neutral about, because then if you get the rest you need, your life is gonna be more manageable, and that’s important to me.  So, it…because it means our world will be a better place, even if it’s just your world.  That’s the kinda small impact that is important to me, because you’re important.  So, those are the reasons I make the show.  The other thing that could throw people off other than the…other than me and the fact you don’t listen and it doesn’t put you to sleep is the structure of the show.  The show’s designed in a very specific way, but once you become a regular listener, you can kinda see how it goes and listen how you want.

 

But for most listeners…oh, or for most listeners, the structure of the show is so we can have the show come out twice a week for free wherever you want to listen, and the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and then I say something…trying to say something funny or charming or…not…well, I try to say stuff charming, and then it sounds a little strange or goofy.  That way, you say okay, I feel welcome and seen, and I kinda get the tone of the podcast.  Then there’s support; there’s sponsors and listener support for the show, again so it could come out twice a week for free.  There’s a lot of hard work that goes into this podcast, and then there’s support for listeners who are having a tough time, and then there’s support for communities around the show and being a part of positive change.

 

That’s a big part of empowering listeners, and actually, believe it or not, you being empowered and part of positive change in your own life and in your communities will make a difference in your sleep, another thing I’ve learned over the years.  So, that’s the start of the show, and that’s just because my goal, personally, is to have the show come out twice a week for free wherever you want to listen, have a positive impact for free, and have paying for it be optional.  Then there’s the intro of the show, which goes on and on and on.  It’s really a show within a show, but when…sometimes when people don’t like the sponsor stuff or the support stuff, they kinda lump the intro in with that.  But the intro, which we’re almost all the way through already, it’s to ease you into bedtime.

 

The reason it’s always twelve to twenty minutes long is so that you can get ready for bed or be getting in bed getting comfortable as part of your bedtime and wind-down routine, to slowly lower the volume on the day and get into this twilight zone, to get into this twilight period where you can get a good night’s sleep.  It’s just one of the things that just never worked for me, is just fall asleep; count to five and then you’ll be asleep.  That stuff doesn’t work for me.  It takes me a while to wind-down.  That’s what, for most listeners, they do; they’re either doing some sort of wind-down routine, getting ready for bed, or they’re in bed getting comfortable.  Now, there is 2% of listeners who skip the intro.  There’s people that listen to story-only episodes on Patreon or pay for those, and…but for most…and there’s some people that fall asleep.

 

I’d say probably 2%, maybe 3% of people fall asleep during the intro.  So, that’s what the intro does, though it can be frustrating at first.  I totally understand that.  But it’s different every time also so your brain can’t quite adapt, ‘cause if it was the same intro, I feel like the show just wouldn’t work.  If I didn’t ease you into bedtime, then you’d have this pressure; when…now I’m supposed to fall asleep.  No, just fall asleep whenever.  That’s why I’m here for over an hour.  So, that’s the intro, then there’s more sponsor stuff so again, the show can come out twice a week for free.  Then tonight will be our bedtime story which is a crossover with Bunny Michael’s podcast XO Higher Self, and I’ll talk about that at the top here.  So, it’s gonna be really cool.

 

It’ll be like a listener…Bunny’s gonna be…listeners are gonna be asking Bunny questions and I’m gonna be…Bunny’s gonna be responding, but I’ll be voicing all of it in a bedtime story manner, and then you could listen to the episode during the day on Bunny’s podcast.  So, that’s exciting.  Then there’s thank-yous at the end of the show.  So, that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show.  Give it a few tries, see how it goes.  I really appreciate you checking the podcast out, and I…giving me your time.  I could not do it without all of you, and I really hope it helps.  I really work hard, I really yearn and I strive, and I really hope I can help you fall asleep.

 

Alright everybody, this is Scoots here.  This is another crossover episode, very exciting.  This is a crossover episode with the podcast XO Higher Self from Bunny Michael.  I got so much out of making this podcast and my conversations with Bunny, and been working on it a while, because it does involve asking for help and Bunny’s listeners asking Bunny for help and advice and compassionate responses on how to deal with that.  Let me just read from the…on Bunny’s podcast, XO Higher Self, Bunny answers listeners’ advice, questions, and guides them to their higher self, the manifestation of love within all humans de-conditioned by the limitations of ego identity.  No topic is off-limits as Bunny flips listeners’ perspectives and inspires self-compassion beyond cliche self-love rhetoric.

 

You can submit questions and voice memos and you can find out more if you search XO Higher Self in your podcast app.  You can use the link in our show notes, or you can go to bunnymichael.com.  That’s bunnymichael.com, and this is the XO Higher Self podcast.  I talk a little bit more about it on the episode coming in here, but it is…sometimes this is some stuff that some listeners may find a little bit intense, but I’ve made it very bedtime-friendly and I’ve tried to be as respectful as I can to the key messages from the listeners of Bunny’s show asking for help, or the listeners of Bunny’s show reaching out and Bunny’s responses, and then some places where I was able to identify with a lot of stuff.

 

So, if this kinda show isn’t for you, you’re welcome to skip it, but I really found listening…I listened to the episode over and over and over again to prepare, and then I read through the transcript and then I went through the transcript as a part of the show or the recording process, and each time, I found a new layer of…I don’t know, powerful tools, because it really aligns with where I am on my own journey of healing and growth and really kind of being interconnected to everybody.  So, this is really important for me to share.  I’m really touched and honored, and I hope this…that it comes through in the show, and I hope you get something out of it, and I hope you discover something new by listening to Bunny’s show and you get in touch with your higher self.  That’s really what it’s really about.  Thanks so much.

 

Alright everybody, this is Scoots here.  Thanks, Scoots, for setting me up there so well.  So, I’m gonna be reading through, and what I’ll do is…this is all a transcript from Bunny’s show, and you’ll be able to listen to the original audio on Bunny’s podcast.  I will be changing the transcript…if you’re a Sleep With Me listener, I’m gonna try to keep things respectful but also stay true to the original intent of the author or Bunny’s answer, but also keep in mind the needs of Sleep With Me listeners at the same time.  Plus, I have the magic of editing.  So, we will see how this goes.  Then I’ll probably…Bunny…it’s kind of a conversation between Bunny and Bunny’s listeners, but I may identify with some stuff and just see what comes up, ‘cause I’ve listened to this audio four or five times, and there’s a lot I identify with.

 

So…and I think in really empowering ways of thinking about…well, we’ll see how it goes.  Okay, so, this is from an e-mail.  Hi, Bunny.  I’ve been thinking about writing to you for a while now and I’m glad I’m doing so because I feel pretty stuck.  The one I’m dealing with is called, you know, golden stuck.  Basically, I work in a corporate environment that pays me well, and even though I’m not very happy, I’m compelled to stay because of the salary and the health benefits.  Some background on the job; I’ve been there for five years, but I’ve been kinda checked out for the past year or so.  I should note that my boss and colleagues are really great.  There are times I still really like the work we’re doing, but for the most part I’m pretty tired of being on four to six hours of Zoom calls.

 

There’s a lot of projects I’m juggling, managing a team of people, and it’s a lot at this point in my life.  Also, I should note that I’m the mom of a high-energy four-year-old, and I’m twelve weeks pregnant, expecting number two.  So, that means when I get off work, I shift into mom mode.  So, it’s going from one running around exhaustion to another.  I’m feeling like I’m too tired to do any of my jobs well.  My husband’s an artist; he’s been running his own business for fifteen years and I…we’ve been talking about it, me leaving my job, being a stay at home mom.  He wants me to be happy, but we’re both thinking about…I’m the breadwinner and we could probably live off his salary, but it’d be a pretty big adjustment to go from two incomes to one along with the health benefits, and I also worry about what other family members say…might say, like they feel like I’m being irresponsible.

 

I started having informational interviews with other parts of the company to see if there’s other less demanding jobs, but the idea of starting a brand-new job, even if it’s more entry-level, still sounds like a challenge and to be honest, I don’t even know what I really want.  I don’t have the space to think about what’s next in any real capacity.  I’ve thought about sabbatical, part-time options, but that also makes me nervous.  What about the team I work with?  I know I need to not be so hard on myself and we’re dealing with the changes in the world since 2020, and being a parent in the last year and a half has been tough.  So, any help you can provide would be much appreciated.  Thank you so much, Bunny.  I love the community you’ve created and really appreciate all you do.  This is Bunny’s response.  Hey, hun.

 

Yeah, you have a lot on your plate, and I think it’s really brave of you to admit to yourself something needs to change.  Anyone that really cares about you wants you to be well.  They want what’s best for you.  You know how to take care of yourself and you know the way things are now is not sustainable, and I’m concerned the further you go into pregnancy, the more stressful and exhausted you’ll be.  I want to remind you you shouldn’t feel guilty for wanting to work less.  Our culture puts so much pressure on people that are socialized as women to be able to handle it all; the job, the kids, keeping up at home.  People that are socialized as women who become moms in our society are expected to never complain or be overwhelmed about raising their children.

 

They’re expected to sacrifice everything and they’re expected to make it look all easy and pretty on top of that, so it makes sense you’re questioning your own needs and feeling worried about being judged.  Right now you have two full-time jobs at your place of employment and being a mom, and of course you’re tired.  Of course you deserve rest.  Not only is that the best for you, but it’s also the best for your children, and it is not irresponsible to take care of your emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual health.  In fact, it’s inspiring to make a bold choice to put yourself first before a job or a project.  Your heart is speaking to you, so trust yourself.  The first step is accepting that you deserve this.  Not only do you deserve this, but so does everybody else.

 

Everyone deserves to be able to take care of themselves so they can stay healthy inside and out.  So, now that we know it’s not a question of what you deserve, we can focus on the how.  How do you make this work?  Have you and your husband sat down and tried to figure out what’s possible budget-wise if you left your job?  What’s your spending like now?  What are your bills like and what can you cut out?  How much do you actually need a month and is it possible to get Medicaid or free healthcare if your household income lowers?  I know it’s scary, but a lot of this is because of the unknown.  If you actually figure out the exact number, you could realistically weigh your options.

 

Definitely look into what the company can offer you part-time or a sabbatical, but you shouldn’t feel nervous because you’ve given them a lot and they should absolutely try their best to accommodate you the best way you can.  We live in a culture that teaches us what we do for a living is who we are, but it’s not.  It’s how we pay our bills.  It doesn’t define us.  If you need to take a part-time gig that gives you more time to actually know what you really want in a career, that part-time gig is an absolute blessing.  Remember, what’s most important in your inner growth is your ability to maintain a relationship with your higher self.  That way, you are guided by love, not fear.  That way, you can get inspired and tap into your potential, set a goal, make a plan.  You can do this.  Okay, this is Scoots here.

 

My thing is…so, there’s a lot of the feelings I identify with and then I’ve seen the advice Bunny is actually giving out work in my own life, because I had a full-time job and I was making the podcast and I was also a parent, and I was newly sober.  I only had a couple years of sobriety, and I had all those things, and actually, exactly what Bunny said; someone had to kinda explain to me is…why don’t you try to see if you could just cut your hours down to three-quarter time at work?  Have you budgeted how much you would need to make up for that money and pay your insurance?  Then it was like, the same thing.  But once I got down to half-time, again, just like Bunny explained, I was being guided by my fears and not specifics or moving through the fear and being guided by love and taking care of myself.

 

So, I was stuck working half-time.  I was already…had been…even though that was a year-long that I reduced my hours down, I was afraid to move past that or even ask…and I really wanted an external solution either to lose my job or something else to happen so I didn’t have to make a choice.  Very similar, I had a conversation with a woman I work with that I look up to, and she said okay, well, what’s the biggest sticking point?  For me, it was insurance.  Very similar to Bunny, she said well, what’s the exact number you need?  I didn’t have a answer because I didn’t know.  I was basing it in fear.  I said, there’s just…it’s impossible.  She said well, why don’t you look up that number?

 

She works with a lot of creatives and she said in my experience, when people have jobs, day jobs and creative careers, they’re building businesses, usually three things happen when they are at a point with their day job and they’re trying to figure out what to do.  She said…and this is just for creatives; it might apply for other stuff.  It probably does.  She said, either you make a plan and you enact that plan to leave your job and do that in a way that’s based on dignity and compassion and love, I guess, and you plan it out with your job and you do that plan and you adjust the plan as you need to.  She said, the second thing is you lose your job.  They realize you’re not there or you’re present and they let you go or you subconsciously do something to cause that.

 

She said, the third thing is you have something else that in your life comes up that is so powerful…and normally, for the most part, it’s a challenge and not a positive thing, because that’s…for me, at least, a person that lives in fear, usually pain is the way…for me; this…I’m just talking for me.  She goes, and then you have to come to grips with that because you’re reassessing all of your life values in the face of this external event.  She goes, which of those three options would you prefer to take?  Because if…right now you’re in a place where none of those…you can choose between those three.  Which one would you prefer to choose?  I really feel like that in Bunny’s answer.  Okay, so this is a call and this is the caller.

 

Again, I’m paraphrasing and gently shifting some of the stuff, but trying to keep with the spirit of all this.  So, anonymous caller.  Hey, Bunny.  I just called and left a short message, but I don’t know what to say.  I guess it’s silly.  I’m calling ‘cause I have insomnia.  So, there will often be times throughout the week, for example, like last night, where I didn’t fall asleep and maybe got one or two hours of sleep.  But there’s some nights where I won’t sleep at all, and when that happens, I have a especially hard time connecting with my higher self the next day, staying grounded, and I don’t even know; I just feel like I could be more in autopilot mode, more reactive, and I’m trying to make a conscious effort not to be.  I wake up, I meditate, I journal, I think about how grateful I am and how much I have to learn with…from every…each and every opportunity that comes that day.

 

That grounds me, and also things like petting my cat or meditating or talking to my partner, things like that.  But when this happens several days in a row, I’m exhausted and it can be especially difficult.  I’ve been trying to work on this with a therapist, but I’m having some issues finding someone over the past year.  I think I finally found someone that accepts my insurance, and that’s a privilege.  I’m looking forward to that, and hopefully they can help me with some real coping mechanisms.  But yeah, I guess I’m asking if you have any advice on ways to stay grounded and calm the mind.  The reason why I have such hard sleep problems is I have a lot of racing thoughts and anxieties, ruminating thoughts right when I go to bed that I can’t keep…can’t seem to shut off.

 

I feel like even when I ground myself and do these things and try to stay…feel grounded throughout the day, my ego gets super activated and just tells me all these stories about myself and what all these other people must think of me and all these things that don’t align with my higher self.  What I’ve learned and grown and realized; it’s not necessarily true even if I can’t control what others…and this is Drew interjecting; that message got cut off, and I don’t know if the person that wrote this message will even hear my part in it or my listeners’ part in it, but just to normalize things, I think the people from Sleep With Me, the listeners of Sleep With Me and myself, has identified with almost every single thing you said, and I really know how it feels.  It’s a lot of my experience in here.  So, let’s go to Bunny.  This is Bunny.

 

Hey, babe.  Your voicemail got cut off in the end, but I think I got the gist of your question.  Your higher self is a perspective of love and compassion, and that means compassion for how you’re struggling as well, and that means compassion if you’re tired, exhaustion…exhausted, anxious, sad, or in a bad mood.  Your higher self doesn’t judge you.  Your higher self doesn’t need you to be perfect.  Your higher self understands this path isn’t easy.  I’m really happy you’re going to work with a new therapist on your insomnia, and I’m sure that therapist will give you some really helpful techniques.  I’m really happy about that.  It’s amazing you prioritize yourself enough to seek out that support.  What your higher self can help you with is simply being compassionate about that process, right?

 

A lot of times when we’re struggling and anxious is when we judge our anxiety like there’s something wrong with us, like what we’re going through means we’re flawed.  So, then we are laying in bed, anxious that we are anxious, and that only adds another level of anxiety that is hard to let go of.  Well, what if you noticed yourself going to that place internally and you said to yourself, I’m okay, there’s nothing wrong with me, and I’m safe?  All these thoughts are temporary.  Ask yourself in those moments what your higher self would say, right?  When you’re lying in bed and can’t sleep, think about what your higher self would tell you, what love and tenderness and acceptance would tell you.

 

Have a go to a affirmation that rings true to you, one that comes with…from compassion, not judgement or force, to be anything different than where you are in your journey.  Surrender to your higher self fully accepting you, and let yourself off the hook.  You are doing everything right.  You are getting support, and you will move forward with your healing.  You already have a strong practice.  You’re incredibly self-aware and you care a lot about how you make people feel.  You’re an amazing sweetheart, and this challenge is not going to limit you and it doesn’t define you.  In fact, it’s paved the way for you to see a therapist which will help with lots of things you want to work on, not just your insomnia.

 

The techniques you will learn to help quiet your mind, and not just for sleep, but to be more present in all of your daytime.  I know you’re going to do great, babe.  You got this.  I just want to say…like I said, we identified a lot with the caller and there’s a lot in here from Bunny’s advice that is very powerful.  Again, I’ve seen work in my life and that I struggle with in my day-to-day life, at bedtime and in the daytime.  But the idea of kind of letting…having other thoughts, right, from your higher self that doesn’t judge you, that has compassion, that’s kind of alongside the other thoughts, anxious thoughts, ‘cause that happens to me a lot during the day or at bedtime.  The whole idea that your higher self can help you be…that can be compassionate during the process, because so much of this is about process, not perfection or results, or at least, that’s what I’ve found for me, again.

 

Then hey, why…what if you say to yourself, I’m okay, there’s nothing wrong with me, and I’m safe?  Then the idea that thoughts are temporary and feelings are temporary, that is so hard for me on a daily basis even though I know that, and where my thoughts and feelings go a lot of times is to that one day place, at least for me.  Again, speaking for Drew and Scooter, is like, one day I’ll have the tools or one day I’ll have the partner or one day I’ll change myself in this way instead of…and that’s where my thoughts want to go; they want to hook onto these past or present future non-realities for me.

 

Again, my brain is great at painting these things that are really beautiful or really not beautiful and saying well, the…which…and so, the idea of just grounding yourself…’cause that’s really what I want for myself and I think for everyone out there, and then hearing Bunny’s empathetic response and compassionate response to say hey, let’s find this part of ourselves that is already accepting of ourselves and the moment, ‘cause that is the biggest reward I’ve found when I get there, is just being myself, who I really am in the moment, and accepting others in the same way.  That’s kinda the life I want to live, with boundaries and stuff, but you know, you get the gist of it.

 

Okay, so, on Bunny’s show, this next one has some content warning, so I am gonna be…trying to be respectful of the Sleep With Me listeners and get at least to the heart of this question, and maybe there will be some editing that you don’t hear, but I will be changing stuff around and trying to be respectful at the same time.  Again, if you want to check out the original thing, we’ll link to Bunny’s show, too.  This caller calls in and says it’s difficult to know where to begin.  It’s very fresh.  I listened to Episode 48 and your response to the voicemail at the end was very touching.  Somehow in a way, I know what this person intended.  It’s indescribable.  They’re like, if this just makes you feel better, it touches you, it’s like all of that, and I wanted to put my voice into this conversation for a while, but I didn’t know what to say.

 

It’s been a whirlwind and I have to remember to take deep breaths, but I know you all are supporting me.  I’m coming out of some…a really tough relationship and coping mechanisms that were equally challenging, and different things like different behaviors I wasn’t comfortable with and different things I used to help comfort myself, and I’ve moved away from a lot of that.  I live far away from all that; I live in a town over, but it’s still affecting my new relationship and my new partner.  I had to leave my dog and it was hard stopping drinking alcohol.  All this puts a extreme amount of weight on my family then, my new cultivated family, and trying to work things out with my partner and our different ways of dealing with that, and the whole family dynamic is a lot, and a lot…it’s a big challenge.

 

Of course, there’s underlying…my own stuff, and which…how much of this is a silent burden to carry?  Therapy is wonderful; yoga, meditating.  Journaling has been explorative.  I love all of that.  I love the people I’m with, but it’s like, all these issues colliding have turned to isolation, and you know undeniably…like, me asking for support of getting off of social media or…is leading to isolation and I feel like I’ve missed the opportunity for a lot of love I have with this love of mine.  There’s a lot of feelings about that; guilt, shame.  I think a lot about Brene Brown and what that would be like, to just let it all flow out.  It’s challenging with a partner, because I have strong feelings that come up.

 

I feel like, yeah, it’s challenging to think about the future with my partner, but what if…and then what if I could let all this go and let them be who they are and trust them with my heart and get past all past stuff that’s happened?  Then if it researches…resurfaces, what do I do if it does?  I love you so much and I hope it touches you, too.  Thank you, Bunny.  Okay, this is Drew.  I’m gonna probably insert myself a little bit more on this one because I identify with a lot here in this one too, and particularly, my own personal…this…a lot of this relates to my own personal journeys.  I know I put a warning at the top of this episode, so yeah, and this will be me probably offering…some of you heard some of my story in older episodes, and so, yeah, I’m gonna keep it short, but there is a lot to identify with here.

 

This is Bunny’s answer.  Hey, love.  Thank you for your heartfelt vulnerability.  It sounds to me like you need to cut yourself some slack, here.  You’ve been incredibly hard on yourself for the fact that you need healing.  Everyone needs healing.  You’ve been through an abusive relationship and used alcohol and other things as coping mechanisms because you couldn’t see a way out.  That became a pattern of unhealthy soothing which had harmful consequences.  Now you realize you deserve better than that and you’re also in therapy and doing the work of meditation and journaling.  I know all of this can feel emotionally overwhelming to be having all these realizations, to see your own issues, to realize your triggers, and at the same time, not have a sense of control over them.

 

But baby, you are human and this stuff isn’t easy.  I want you to find more patience and self-compassion, and I want you to repeat these words; my triggers are not my fault.  My wounds are not my fault.  I am healing myself, I am loving, I am strong, I am enough.  We live in a world that is very much in need of healing because of…because abuse and greed and our learned hierarchical beliefs, or Bunny’s LHBs for short, have created generations upon generations of misguided dis-empowerment.  To put it simply, we don’t know our own worth, and that feeling of lack can have extremely harmful consequences when left unchecked.  You are like the rest of us on a path of awakening from this sleep, the sleep of unworthiness, and awakening is not an easy process.

 

It is hard, very, very hard to start actually witnessing yourself, to be accountable to your mistakes, to realize you’ve hurt people, to want to do better not because you need to do better, but because you want your behavior to reflect your true self and not your wounds.  What you need to stop doing is making all this stuff, all these things you talked about in your voice memo, who you are.  When we start having these realizations, it’s really easy to start looking at ourselves in the mirror and identify with our past and the hard times from the past.  I am this hurt person, I am a triggered person, I’ve suffered from others’ bad behavior.  But this is exactly why it is hard for you right now to see a way out.  A part of you is like well, I now realize this is just who I am.  It is not.  Your triggers are moments of temporary fear.

 

They will always pass.  They are not out to get you, either.  They are pointing out the places where you’re still wounded and that you can tend to that wound.  Your body and mind are reacting, but you are the witness to that.  You have compassion for those parts of yourself while at the same time, trust you are in the process of lessening their power.  Every time you forgive yourself for acting out of your triggers in a way that you want to change, you lessen their power.  Now, about your relationship; you said you want to trust your partner.  Well, that doesn’t just happen one day, like, I trust them now so I can let them talk to whoever they want or I won’t look at their phone.  No, it’s they can talk to whoever they want.

 

I won’t look at their phone and I will work on my trust issues with my therapist, in my journaling, and in my meditation, because your trust issues are your own wounds and not your partner’s.  Your partner is not responsible for healing them for you.  They can’t love your wounds away, no matter what they do, no matter who they do talk to or don’t talk to.  Only you can do that.  This isn’t about them proving themselves to be trustworthy; it’s about you allowing yourself to be loved by them.  Receiving love takes vulnerability.  If you’re not in a place where you’re able to be okay with your partner having healthy boundaries and friendships, then I think taking some time to focus on your own healing is the path forward.

 

In relationships, you are either in or out, but something is telling me you’re really emotional right now because in your heart, you already know what you need to make this relationship work.  You realize you’re actually capable of it, and that is just…it’s hard.  You’ve opened your…the door on your own healing and you can’t go back now.  Growing takes courage.  Love takes courage.  Trust takes courage.  Healing takes courage.  Remind yourself that you are absolutely capable, because you’re already doing it.  I want you to keep going and believe in yourself.  Okay, this is Drew inserting himself here.  So, yeah, I identify with a lot in the call and in the answer.

 

Actually, I learned a lot because I’ve been struggling with…yeah, trying to work on my own higher self and my interpersonal relationships and what I bring to those interpersonal relationships, and kinda like I talked with the last answer, living…for me, I have a disease of perception, right?  Where I have a problem with perception.  Again, I’m only speaking for myself, Drew, here.  So, I have to…kinda Bunny said, find some other place when those thoughts and feelings come up.  Bunny kinda laid out a very specific way to deal with that, to say okay, you’re having these thoughts, but they’re not based in reality.

 

I can try to be compassionate for that little kid in me or that scared part of me that just wishes one day, if I could do this, this, or this, things would be different or I…if I could just change my…I’ll go into the lack stuff and…next, but if I could change all that stuff or fix it or if I could just be somebody else or be not my higher self, but if I could be something else, some different self, less wounded or whatever, then I would be…I’d be okay, which just isn’t true, because all of that is my own internal fiction.  Again, I’m only speaking for myself; I’m not giving anybody any advice.  I just want to share with what I’m identifying with.  So, there’s that piece.

 

Another piece for me, and I’m not speaking towards the caller, but for anybody that will connect with this, because the caller did not identify as a alcoholic, but I am a alcoholic, and I say that because there’s a difference between abusing alcohol and being a alcoholic, and you kinda go on another journey of discovering that for yourself and the healing process and getting better.  When Bunny said lack, like, a lot of times when I share about my alcoholism with other alcoholics or people struggling to get sober, that’s one of the things that comes up for me, is this lack that I’ve always had, and it’s such a apt word.  It’s one of the words I do use to describe how it…what it was like for me and what it’s still like for me, and how it wasn’t what made me an alcoholic, but it was one of the things alcohol did for me, was to make me numb to that lack and give me some ease and comfort in the face of that lack, or to step to the side of it.

 

It didn’t make it better, clearly; it made things worse, and it came with a lot of consequences and a lot of life un-lived, and of not being my higher self or even…of making my world about providing me ease and comfort.  For me, twelve-step recovery has been a big part of that, and it has never…it’s not easy, like Bunny says with some of the other stuff, and going through that process again…and that’s something that’s pretty easy to find wherever you are and online nowadays, but for me, working the twelve steps of recovery with someone else has really changed my life, and maybe if you listen to the show, you may have noticed or maybe not, but even…during the pandemic, my life outside of the show has changed because of that, of returning to saying hey, I have to actively be working on this.

 

Again, in the spirit of…what is my higher self?  I want to have…I want to live in the present moment and be available to be compassionate and care for myself, or have this higher self that’s there for me and for other people in acceptance and love.  That’s really kinda the…what I’m looking for.  For me, that’s only one of the things.  I also meditate, I journal, I work with a therapist, I have quiet moments.  I talk to my higher power, all those things.  But for me, also, it is for me, essential…I don’t know.  It’s always worth discovering.  Again, you can try paths and see where they go.

 

But so, anybody that’s identifying with what I’m talking about, I cannot tell you if you’re struggling with that kinda stuff that the twelve steps of recovery really have changed my life too, and it is one more set of actions, I guess, versus my thoughts and feelings, kind of like these other things that Bunny’s offering are actions you can take in the moment, and that’s just one more set of actions I have on a daily basis I can take when my thoughts and my feelings come up to say okay, I’m not…I’m okay and my higher self is there to accept me as I am, but so, I don’t identify with my thoughts or my feelings as who I am, and that I can also identify with my actions or my higher self.

 

So, a little bit of a big Drew insertion there, but it’s really been important to me to share about sobriety in any way I can, because I know it’s something that’s out there, and you can always reach out to me through the website form on the podcast website if you’re struggling with that.  Also, that’s just my identification.  Again, I’m not projecting it onto the…the answers or the questions.  It’s just what I identified with and some of the…the path…I don’t know, just what I identified with and some of the stuff that’s actually changed my life.  Okay, so, the next caller comes in.  Hey, Bunny.  I was calling because I had a question.  I don’t really know if a lot of people feel the same way, but I think it’d be really helpful to get some insight on it.  I’m the type of person who’s very spiritual, does a lot of spiritual practices.

 

I’m able to lucid dream, astral project pretty much whenever I want to which is fun, but sometimes I feel a little bit blindsided, maybe.  I’ll have a dream sometimes, pretty meaningful or it had meaning to it, and I have a tendency to believe absolutely everything I dream about, or for another example, I tend to believe ever tarot reading I get.  I don’t know.  I don’t know if gullible’s the right word, but maybe just not trusting myself fully when I have a dream or when I have a tarot reading or when someone gives an opinion about me, I’ll believe it.  Then I’ll nitpick it and try to find the truth or obsess over it and it can take over my mood.

 

I don’t like living that way, but I don’t know how to re-train my brain not to believe absolutely every dream I have and every tarot pull I get, and I just want some guidance with that and know how to trust myself so that little things like that aren’t so much of a challenge and I’m not overthinking it throughout the day.  Thank you.  So, I definitely identify this, particularly with the dreams or other people’s opinions and then that causing spiraling thinking.  This is Drew talking.  That is definitely a challenge for me, and I love the answer here.  I guess I’m front-loading it because I have the same issue with the dreams and meaning.  Bunny gives us this spectacular thing that’s so helpful to me, ‘cause at the end, if you heard my last answer, it’s all about…that’s one of the things we struggle with between our higher…I struggle with between my higher self and my ego and all that other stuff, is I want it to be less about me, but you know.

 

So, I’m laughing because it’s just so funny how…enabled to spin it about me.  Okay, this is Bunny’s answer.  Well, you know, it’s understandable that you’re searching for guidance.  That’s not a bad thing.  It’s great to get tarot readings, it’s great to examine your dreams, and all those are practices that can help you be more in touch with who you are beyond this human form and get more into your spirit.  The thing is, though, the goal of a spiritual practice isn’t to know everything; it’s to be okay in the unknown.  It is to be present with who you are right now and to fully love and accept yourself.

 

So, although tarot can help you get a glimpse of your path in the future or help you understand some of your past, the real intent of it which is the intent of a…spiritual practice is to find inner peace through the awareness of love, through the realization that you lack for nothing and that you are whole and a part of a divinely interconnected universe.  Your reality is a reflection of your state of consciousness.  So, if you go into a tarot reading and the consciousness of you needing some answers in order for you to accept yourself, you’re gonna project all of your fears and lack onto that tarot reading.

 

If you go into a tarot reading grounded in your higher self, the knowledge that you are whole and loved by the universe just how you are, then you will experience the reading as just another message of love, each card awakening more acceptance of who you are, including the things you are still working through, including your wounds, including your gifts, including every aspect of what makes you you.  Lucid dreaming and astral projection are also reflections of your state of consciousness and self-acceptance.  For example, if you’re interpreting a dream, that interpretation can be from the perspective of your higher self or from the perspective of your ego, your learned hierarchical beliefs.  So, what if you were lucid dreaming and you saw a rose in a vase and it was dying and the petals were falling on the floor?

 

Okay, that’s a strong symbol.  Now, if you interpret meaning onto your symbol, your state of consciousness could create totally two different meanings.  If you are not grounded in your higher self, the knowledge that you are enough and you have always been, you might see this rose as a future loss and that could make you feel troubled and afraid that you’re going to lose something, and that could be devastating to your sense of self.  But because your higher self knows you are whole and loved, your higher self would interpret that symbol as losing what no longer serves you.  Do you see how those two interpretations can make you feel completely different about yourself and your future?

 

My point is that we are so focused on figuring ourselves out that we forget our spiritual journey is guiding us to simply be one with love.  That is the source that connects all these practices and all these modalities.  If you get too caught up in the tools to get there, then you will miss the goal.  You know, gifts like astral projection or tarot or other forms of magic don’t…doesn’t make your more aligned with love.  Anyone can use magic for whatever intent they see fit.  Magic in service of the ego happens all the time.  Someone’s opinion can be in service of their ego.  That is why focusing on connecting to your higher self through meditation or journaling or whatever ritual feels right for you will keep you in the right state of mind, to use what helps you love yourself, and leave the rest.  You can trust in your own guidance.

 

That’s definitely a message I needed to hear, so I don’t really have anything to add other than there’s so much there for me and maybe some of you to take…I don’t know.  But even the dream stuff was saying oh, is this dream…my interpretation of it in service of my ego and what I want now that might bring me something in the future?  Or what if it’s from my higher self?  ‘Cause I had some powerful dreams lately and it’s like oh, from that perspective, maybe it’s not about my lack and my need and this filling my lack, and could be more about compassion and love and service or whatever.  Okay, the following question’s from a e-mail.  This is a question, again.  Hey Bunny, I hope you’re well.  I love watching your Instagram stories of you, your partner, and your friends building your new home.  So excited.

 

I’m married to someone I love, and true love is scary.  I’ve never been in a relationship that was so emotionally available, supportive, compassionate, or affectionate.  I haven’t had great relationships in the past, and a couple of my past relationships have ended in a tough time.  But these happened so long ago that those relationships seem to be coming up in my marriage and my dreams, and having experienced those, I’ve developed trust issues and trust with my partner, and I feel like I’m not giving them all of me.  I keep having these tough dreams about my romantic relationship, and I can’t seem to shake them.  They’ve popped up here and there over the two years, but this week they keep coming up again and again and again.

 

I tell my partner about the dreams and it makes them tough on them, and they usually reassure me and listen to me.  I kinda feel silly that my dreams are affecting me, but they are.  I don’t know what to do to help.  If you have any recommendations, that would be amazing.  Bunny has another great answer.  You know, things about dreams is we only tend to put importance on the ones that scare us, like if you dreamt about eating ice cream nude on the moon the past four or five nights, you wouldn’t be writing me saying Bunny, what does this mean?  Our minds are very powerful.  Our imaginations are endless, and so when we dream, we can experience a whole spectrum of realities both pleasant and unpleasant.  What I think will help you is to stop putting so much importance on those dreams.

 

Yeah, you have a subconscious that shows its face, but that is not who you are or a testament to what your future holds.  It’s like the thoughts we have throughout our day.  Take, for example, our insecure or jealous thoughts, our un-trusting thoughts you experience.  We have a choice to take those thoughts at face-value or to observe them with the understanding okay, there’s a reason why you thought them, but that doesn’t mean you have to believe them.  You give them their power over you.  You don’t have to be afraid of them.  It’s wonderful that your partner is so supportive and reassuring, but be aware of making this an issue unnecessarily.  The truth is, you do trust your partner.  You wouldn’t have married them if you didn’t.  Yeah, there’s still stuff from the past, but don’t sell yourself short on how much you’ve grown.

 

You know you can trust them no matter what your dreams are, and I don’t want your partner to interpret these dreams as you not trusting them.  If you didn’t trust them, you wouldn’t be in this relationship.  You wouldn’t be giving them the love that they’re receiving.  You wouldn’t be vulnerable with them.  You wouldn’t be happy right now.  You wouldn’t be saying this marriage is true love, right?  All of the vulnerability and honest that you’ve given this relationship is a tangible testament to how much you’ve grown and how much you trust your partner, so don’t create a problem where there isn’t one.  Bad dreams happen.  I have dreams that are tough too, but are they true?  Most likely not.  Does it suck?  Yes.  Do I have control over what I dream?  No.  Do I have to let them get me down and stoke my fears?  No.

 

One thing you could practice saying is…which is something I do when I’ve been in a phase of having bad dreams in a row, before I go to sleep, I say I am safe, I am loved, dreams can’t hurt me.  That really helps me be at peace, and I notice it helps me have a more peaceful sleep.  You can call in the help of your higher self.  You can call in the help of your inner love and your inner light.  No matter what comes your way, you are protected through love, and that’s your power.  You are not weak, you are strong, and your strength is within you.  I’m wishing you the best in your marriage, in your relationship, and your happiness.  Enjoy it, you know.  Just enjoy what you are and don’t put too much importance onto your fears.  We all have them, we all have fears, we all have wounds, but it doesn’t have to define us, okay?

 

Say your affirmations before you sleep, and it’ll be very helpful.  Alright, the next one is a call coming in.  Hi, Bunny.  Thank you so much for your beautiful podcast.  It really is truly such an uplifting experience to listen to.  I’m calling in because I guess my question is that I tend to be a very busy person.  I always have a lot of creative projects going on.  I’m the type of the person who would rather work for time free…part…for part-time or freelance jobs rather than put all my energy in one project.  I do find I flourish more under these conditions, but I also tend to notice that I’m trying to keep all these things in balance constantly, ‘cause there’s always so much going on.

 

I enjoy the multitasking and the creativity of it, but I’m also finding that it might be…I might kinda be adding on more all the time as a mean of escaping free time, if that makes sense.  So, part of me always craves free time, but when I have it, I just fill it with more projects or collaborations with people, which is exciting, but sometimes I’m…just miss having the chance to sit there and, you know, just see what…feel like doing, like reading a book or taking a nap.  I just feel like I don’t ever have time for any of that stuff and I’m wondering, I guess, how to find a happy medium where you’re a creative person who thrives on this multitasking lifestyle but still have the time for stillness and quiet and peace.  Thank you; I appreciate it.

 

Bunny’s answer comes in.  I can totally relate to this, as a person who’s always wanted to be busy and doing creative things and working with other people and having new projects on the line.  The way I look at creativity or artistic expression is that everyone is a channel for their divine, creative energy, and the art and projects and ideas we produce are shaped by our experiences in…as an individual, but it is essentially the same divine, creative energy that we all channel.  It’s just our stuff ends up looking different because we are different and we’ve had different experiences, and we can have differences in opinions and perspectives.  So, when I remember that, even though I make art or I use my creativity or…to write or draw or whatever I’m doing, I’m not doing it alone.  I’m just a channel.

 

It is coming from another realm of consciousness, the same realm that is the creative force of the universe.  Creativity is a spiritual practice, and so when we don’t take the time to be in stillness or quiet our minds and even just rest, we are missing out on that sacred time where we plug into that divine source, where we reconnect with the part of us that is connected to this one divine consciousness, our spirit, our higher selves, or whatever word you want to use.  Being still makes you more present and awake into the blessings and the inspiration that is around you.  Being still helps you become more aware of your thinking and less caught up in it.  It gives you perspective and you become a witness to your own journey.  Our minds are just a tool for us to get from Point A to Point B.

 

We cannot function without our thoughts, but we can also get caught up in them, so caught up we lose touch with who we are beyond our thoughts.  That’s why meditation is so important.  It’s a practice to become the witness to your thoughts, to observe them and then to try to quiet them.  Those practices help you throughout the day, even when you are not meditating, to be more present in the moment, and that’s when you can create more purely.  You’re not caught up in self-judgement or ego or comparison.  You just have to be fully present to be that channel for creativity, that channel that recognizes you don’t need to be anyone but yourself.  You know, it’s a myth that there’s no such thing as good art or bad art, because art and creativity is self-expression.

 

The reason why we continue to judge art as good or bad is because of our learned hierarchical beliefs.  It’s because we see human worth as something…as being more worthy…some human beings as being more worthy than others.  But if we recognize that everybody’s voice mattered, that everybody’s experience mattered, that everybody was worthy, we would see the beauty in everybody’s creations.  That doesn’t mean you have to want everybody’s wall…art hanging on your wall, because we do relate to things more than other things, but if there’s really something you’re drawn to, it’s because you can relate to it.  It’s because you can recognize the familiarity and the peace.  It touches a part of you that feels very personal, and you feel moved by somebody else’s work.

 

Being moved or inspired by somebody’s work that is moving or inspiring to you, it doesn’t mean others’ is bad.  So, my point is that rest and stillness are so important for you, not just for your mental, emotional, and spiritual health, which is absolutely vital to your happiness, but it is immensely important for your creative practice.  So, the next time you’re debating…oh, and I really relaxed right now, now I should get still.  Should I take a break?  Tell yourself I need to give myself what I need.  What I need will help me in every aspect of my life.  I identified with a lot in there, but I’m gonna move on to the next call, ‘cause it was just so good.  I don’t need to add anything.  This is another caller.  Hi, Bunny.  I recently discovered the show and I love it, but I’m a person who struggles with BPD and I know a lot of people who don’t struggle with this.

 

But even though these months of being alone with myself, I find I really don’t know who I am and I was wondering if you had any ways for me to connect with my sense of self.  That would be great.  Thank you.  Then Bunny comes in, and if you’re with me, this was really…there was some really powerful answers, but this one is really powerful, right?  Well, you haven’t heard it yet, so I’m saying I really identified with the answer, and I’m gonna carry…this is gonna carry us out to the end of the episode, so this is Bunny.  Oh, that was Drew speaking, sorry.  This is Bunny.  One of the surest signs that you are getting to know yourself on a deeper level is when you feel like you have no idea who you are anymore, because what is happening is the parts of you that used to define yourself are no longer sufficient.

 

I have a meme that says me: I don’t know who I am anymore.  Then your higher self says, you’re just so much more than you thought you were.  The truth is, no words can fully describe who we are.  On one level, if someone asks you who are you, you might say my name is blah, blah, blah, I work at blah, blah, blah, I’m blah years old, my ethnicity is blah, blah, I deal with this mental health diagnosis, I dealt with this in childhood, my goals are this, and the list goes on and on and on.  On the surface level, those things are our personality, our psychological traits we can use to define us, but do they encapsulate the wholeness of who we are?  No, they don’t, because on a deeper level, we are spirits having a human experience.  We have been sent here in the form of these bodies to bring more love into the world.

 

How do we do that?  By realizing that love is truly who we are.  When we identify with our higher selves, IE, our spirit, we are making conscious that truth.  We are bringing love into the world by being…coming more conscious of love’s presence.  How do we do that?  We use all of our human experiences, our trauma, illnesses, suffering, privileges, emotions, experiences, our thoughts, we use them as a portal, an opening to our own self-realization, the place of Being with a capital B.  We’re like, what do you mean I’m love?  I need something concrete, something tangible to hold onto.  I need proof of who I am.  Did you know that we see the shapes, the form, like the chair I’m sitting on or the phone you’re listening to…what you see is a solid shape is actually a projection of your thoughts.

 

You don’t actually see the chair; you see all of your past experiences and judgments of the chair, where it came from, how it got there, if it’s pretty or not, if you want a new chair.  In order to fully see the chair, you have to be completely present in the now.  You have to see it as itself and not how you relate to it.  It’s the same with knowing ourselves.  We just have to be present with ourselves, not to find the words that truly define us, but just be with ourselves, the place where words can’t sum it up.  The more you do that, just get quiet and be, you will feel who you truly are.  When something like the past couple years happens, when things we used to identify with are suddenly in question, it’s like a jolt, a shot of energy in the direction of being.

 

Now we are confronted with something deeper, something magical, something indescribable, something unnameable.  I use the term higher self because it’s a higher level of awareness, but those words higher self will never come close to the actual experience of what higher self is.  That is who you are.  You are witness to the experience.  It’s not anything to be afraid of.  It’s not something to do right or do wrong.  It just simply is, and when you surrender to it, it is the safety you are longing for.  So, this is Scooter; I just…Drew, saying thank you to Bunny, thank you to everybody that wrote in and called in to Bunny’s show, and yeah, I hope this…I hope that some of you related and got some comfort, and maybe even some actionable steps out of this.  Goodnight.  Goodnight, everybody.  Thanks.

 

[END OF RECORDING]

(Transcription by Leah Hervoly)