1058 – Forgotten Bakes | Great British Bake You Off to Sleep C5/S8 E8
Scooter checks in with his internal Nana, loses his butterscotch rights, but the bakers make it all syrupy sweet.
Episode 1058 – Forgotten Bakes | Great British Bake You Off to Sleep C5/S8 E8
[START OF RECORDING]
SCOOTER: Friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and my patron peeps. What up, my patron peeps? It’s time for the show you make possible, my patron peeps. Thank you so much.
INTRO: [INTRO MUSIC] Hey, are you up all night tossing, turning, mind racing? Trouble getting to sleep? Trouble staying asleep? Well, welcome. This is Sleep With Me, the podcast that puts you to sleep. We do it with a bedtime story. Alls you need to do is get in bed, turn out the lights, and press play. I’m gonna do the rest. What I’m going to attempt to do is create a safe place where you could set aside whatever’s keeping you awake, whether that’s thoughts, things on your mind that you’re thinking about, right? Feelings, anything you’re feeling physically or feelings that are coming up emotionally for you. It could be changes in time or temperature or routine, or just…you say, I don’t know what’s going on. Could be trips to the WC, it could be…I don’t know.
Whatever’s keeping you awake, there’s a lot of different things keeping people awake out there, and whatever it is, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of it while you fall asleep. But I’m also here…and in some sense, I’m here on behalf of every listener of the show to say hey, you’re not alone there in the deep, dark night. That’s one of the more important aspects of the show I don’t always like to point out so obviously. But every once in a while, it’s important for me to stop and say hey, we’re here. I’m not the only one here; there’s a lot of other people listening right now, and it’s different ‘cause it’s a weird digital thing. But you’re not alone out there. Whatever’s keeping you awake, there’s probably someone else listening that can at least relate to it very strongly, whatever’s keeping you awake.
I hope that helps in knowing that there’s other people right now listening along that have compassion and empathy for whatever’s keeping you up. That’s why I make the show, so whatever’s keeping you awake, I’d like to take your mind off of that, and what I’ll do in-between going off on tangents like that is I’m gonna send my voice across the deep, dark night. I’m gonna use lulling, soothing, creaky, dulcet tones, pointless meanders, superfluous tangents. That means my voice is not perfect, not traditionally soothing, just like this show is not barely entertaining. It’s not traditionally soothing, either. Say well, that’s not…his voice is creaky, dulcet. Describe creaky, dulcet to me. Not traditionally soothing. I’d say okay, so is it…well, it’s a bit like a creaky dock. You say okay, that’s…but it could be soothing.
Yes, it could be soothing for sure. What other creaky things could you…? I said what, are you having a creak-off now? But yeah, what other…like a creaky tree? That’s not traditionally soothing, but you say that could be soothing. Oh boy, that creaking tree in the wind…my favorite tree, Old Creaky, or other things could…creaky…those are two things that…creaky door. You say oh, I’m over at my sweet, sweet nana’s house to have a butterscotch candy and sugarless lemonade and also do a bunch of chores for five pennies. Oh boy, I can hear her door creaking. I can also hear nana creaking, because she knows Scooter’s trying to give her underhanded compliments, so he won’t be getting any…and I say oh darn, no butterscotch candy for me. Oh, boy.
I mean, I will regret it because as soon as you don’t…you can’t get something, you say huh, well…nana, I’m…nope, sorry. You lost your butterscotch candy rights and your penny rights and your…and I say actually, the irony, nana, if I could point it out, is that I actually make my own sugar-free lemonade. So, you got me. You got me. So, I do have to really apologize ‘cause I do enjoy myself a sugar…or sugar alternative-sweetened lemonade, but not sweetened with sugar. Sweetened with your look, nana. That look…the syrupy sweetness of your imaginary look, looking at me and saying whatever…you say you love me despite all of my humanity. Oh, not in spite of it; because of all my humanity. My lemonade is sweetened by that, maybe, at least in my imagination.
So, that’s what…that’s a tan…that was a pointless meander and a superfluous tangent around creaky, dulcet tones. So, I’m here to keep you company and take your mind off of stuff. If you’re new, I’m so glad you’re here and I really do hope I can help you fall asleep. Let me give you some information that might help as you get settled in there, because obviously you may be confused if you’re new to this show and someone told you about it or you read about it. You might be skeptical or doubtful or even stronger feelings than that. Totally understandable, because this show is very different. Why wouldn’t you be, right? You say, what is this going on? So, yeah, give it a few tries. I’m really glad you’re here.
A few things to know; one, the most important thing for you to know…I kinda alluded to it earlier; you’re important and your sleep is important. You do deserve a good night’s sleep. You deserve a bedtime you don’t have to anticipate with dread. You deserve a bedtime you look…can look forward to or at least feel neutral about, and you deserve to get the rest you need because your life will be more manageable. It’ll be better. That is very important to me because I really believe…well, no, no, I don’t believe it; I know it makes the world a better place to be in. If your life’s more manageable, if you’re flourishing, the world we all live in is better. That’s one thing. The other thing is I can relate to it. Tossing, turning, mind racing, trouble getting…you know, I’ve had…believe me, I deal with all that stuff.
I got a nana…I’m in trouble with a nana I don’t even have. You say Scoots, have…what’s the matter? Oh, nana’s mad at me. Oh, are you gonna send her flowers? Oh, I don’t have a real nana. I have multiple imaginary nanas. They’re traditionally called maladjustments, but nana doesn’t like me to refer to her…refer to her that way. So, she’s not happy with me. I was making jokes about her butterscotch candy and her…and then I was trying to point out to her that I make sugar-free lemonade. I think I wasn’t comfortable admitting that. This is another apology to her. You know, imaginary nana, I wasn’t…I’m…I was embarrassed that I…I guess I’m a little bit embarrassed I drank lemonade that doesn’t have sugar in it, and…though it’s really enjoyable.
So, I’m sorry that…but I would highly recommend tasting it. Not as sweet as you, nana, but pretty darn good. Oh, so if you’re skeptical or doubtful, why would…if you just heard what I just said, why wouldn’t you be, right? So, that’s…oh, so let me give you some information. Oh, I already said that stuff. I get confused, too, on this podcast. You deserve a good night’s sleep ‘cause I’ve been there. I know how it feels, and I know you deserve a good night’s sleep. So, if I can provide that, even a bedtime…you say well, Scoots is just barely not entertaining, so at least I have him to listen to. Then I have reached…accomplished my life goals. Along with that, this is a podcast you just barely listen to, so you kinda just say huh, okay.
You don’t really pay attention to it, so sometimes people get a little bit irritated ‘cause they’re waiting for it to get started or to go somewhere. But this podcast kinda putters around. It doesn’t really…it goes…it’s going nowhere slow, or it’s not going anywhere. Always going neverwhere or whatever the saying is. So, yeah, this is a podcast you don’t really listen to, kinda like sand or looking at…holding sand or looking at clouds or background noise or TV on in the other…in another room, or when you’re on vacation and your parents are watching TV…if you’re a kid, you know. That’s kinda how you listen to the show. You just kinda barely listen, just like a late-night phone call to a friend. You say, hey, I’m trying…I’m having trouble falling asleep.
I need somebody to not talk to and who doesn’t need to be listened to but who will talk. I say, job done; I’m here. So, that’s…it’s a podcast you barely listen to. Also does not put you to sleep. I think I kinda set that up. I’m here to keep you company, to be your bore-friend, your bore-bae, your bore-cuz, your bore-sib, your bore-bore, your neigh-bore, your bore-bud, your bore-bruh, your bore-bestie. I’m here to be your friend in the deep, dark night, and to keep you company while you drift off. I’m here so you can barely listen to me. The thing is, whether you’re listening or if you can’t sleep, you’re going through something or you’re dealing with something and you just can’t sleep or you’re dealing with something during the day and you need a break, I’m here. I’m here to keep you company first and foremost.
I’m here to keep you company in a way where you don’t have to listen to me, but you could. Maybe that’s what works about this show. So, those are the first couple things. The other thing that’s really important for new people to hear about is the structure of the show. The structure of the show is designed in a very specific way, but then you can use it in different ways as you become a regular listener. So, the show starts off with a greeting; friends beyond the binary, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, so hopefully you feel welcome and seen, and you say okay, the show’s welcoming me in. It’s kinda seeing me and then it’s saying oh, it’s a little bit silly. Then there’s support.
There’s support for the show ‘cause the goal of the podcast is that it comes out twice a week for free on all platforms, and that there’s a pretty widespread back catalog. So, you have access to hundreds of episodes if you need them. The sponsors and the patrons enable us to do that. Then there’s support for the listeners and support for the community around the show. So, that’s that kinda first part of the show. Then there’s the intro which we’re in now, and the intro runs somewhere between twelve and twenty minutes long. It is not part of the support. The intro is a show within a show. Now, 2% of people skip the intro. A few thousand people listen to story-only episodes.
But the reason the intro goes on and on and on is to give you a transition from being awake to being asleep, to give you a wind-down whether you’re getting ready for bed, you’re in bed getting comfortable, or you’re doing something else. The intro is here to ease you into bedtime ‘cause all the research I’ve seen and everything that’s worked for me personally, having some wind-down time works most of the time for me. So, that’s why the intro goes on and on and on for fifteen to twenty minutes or so, is…you say oh, okay, I can get ready for bed and listen to Scoots or I could do some drawing, or I could lay on the floor with my legs on the bed. That’s what I’ve been doing lately…foam rolling. I don’t know, maybe make paper airplanes. Don’t throw them at anybody.
Anything that you find relaxing and is part of your wind-down routine; sipping some cocoa or whatever. So, the…oh, so that’s the intro. It is a show within a show and it’s also kinda supposed to introduce the podcast, but it goes on and on and on for a little while. So, that’s the intro. Then there’s business between the intro and this bedtime story, just because that’s where…that’s what enables us to have it, again, free twice a week. Then it’ll be our bedtime story. Tonight it’ll be a bedtime story recap of a episode of the Great British Bake Off. You say well, that sounds too exciting to me. I say, wait ‘til you hear it, but you’ll be surprised. It won’t be. The episode may have been exciting, but my recap will not be. So, that’s that part. Then there’s some thank-yous at the end.
So, that’s the structure of the show, that’s why I make the show. I’m really glad you’re here. I work really hard, I yearn and I strive. I really hope you…I can help you fall asleep. Oh, one more thing is…I forgot to say; most people don’t…this show doesn’t work for them on the first try, so give it a few tries and see how it goes. I’m talking about hundreds of thousands of people have told me that. They said hey, it didn’t work for me the first time. I say okay, that…yeah. But I gave it two or three tries and then I realized oh, it doesn’t make any sense. That’s why. Now, if you already know the show doesn’t work for you, there’s also…I have a list of other sleep podcasts and sleep audio at sleepwithmepodcast.com/nothankyou. So, check that out. But I’m really glad you’re here, like I said, and I really hope I can help you fall asleep. Thanks again for coming by, and here’s a couple ways I’m able to do this for you for free twice a week.
Alright everybody, it’s Scoots here and this is Episode 8, Forgotten Bakes. Holy cow. Collection 5, Forgotten Bakes. Last week was not easy, saying goodbye to Yan. We’ll go through my notes here and then go to the tape. It starts off with Noel and Sue. He says, I totally nailed it, baking, but he forgot the bake in the oven, which is kinda the pun. Then he says, I forgot a bath was running, which reminds me of that bathtub story I’ve told a few times on the podcast. Then we go into the kinda teaser; don’t leak. Technical tart, talking heads…final five. Quarter-finals. Harder…consistent…three good bakes. Fog horn? That can’t be right. Fog…is there anything with two Gs in here? Classic creations; that’s our first alliteration. Oh, forgotten classic creations. That has two Gs, forgotten, maybe. Prue and Paul?? Double question mark.
Farm work versus tin miners. I know it was tin miners. I don’t know if it was farm workers. Clagger? Clog? Clanger? Clanger; it’s a weird name. Suet…and I…then I put, is a bird suet the same thing? Suet replaces butter and lard. Try not to overwork it. Mediterranean medley…medley. Medley…everything…West Coast medley…is there something…but medley, right? Melody…medley and melody are two different words. That’s not on my notes; that’s just…my brain was popping in here. What sort of pastry, Prue says? Sandi and Kate…and not soil my hands. Liam…short, flaky pastry, but robust. Pizza topping…take set on Paul’s face…oh, pizza topping, like takeout, and he uses it on dip…oh, Paul’s face on dipping sauces. Even Prue’s like, what?
But Noel does say yeah, they dip in…there’s dipping sauces with pizza. I mean, in high school, my friend Kurt, he was the first person I know that dipped…he would dip his slice in blue cheese. Wet filling…stress…good luck. Wallast…Willast? I like that. They use that…that’s a word we don’t get use of in…wall…’cause, well, I don’t…’cause Wallast…Scooter’s trying to pronounce a word. The show moves on. Willast, Wallast? Sophie or Sophia…char siu…confident…yeah. Taking every week as it comes, though. Kate; burrito beacon? Burrito beacon…banana apple. Oh, bean burrito, I think. Clanger with banana and apple as the dessert. So, a clanger is like a pastry, a bit like a roll. Brilliant idea, from my understanding.
I haven’t done any research, but just from when I picked up the episode…a bit like a little bit longer…I’m trying to use a…not that different than a burrito, but it’s a baked pastry, bigger than an empinada and a different shape than an empinada or a…what’s that thing called? A calzone. A long tube, but two-thirds would be savory for your lunch and one-third would be your dessert. It was like, robust in the sense…the way Paul was taking about it, that you could pull it out of…when you’re eating lunch, you could just eat it like a sandwich. But I didn’t realize how important historically desserts were for lunches. I don’t know if this is just in the UK, another place I haven’t gone deep on, but between school lunch, desserts, and working class desserts here, this is cool stuff to learn.
Having dessert; why do people…well, ‘cause they had a dessert. I mean, what better thing to look forward to during your work day? Let’s see, Steven sticks to it. Rolling up…so he’s…oh, the one-third sweet, two-third savory. Oh, Don’t Look Back in Clanger from Oasis. Gasp, even. Somebody gasped when Noel made that joke. Paul…the gem…all the gear. No idea. Rolling up…slashes to differentiate sweet and savory. Half an hour left. Not going to leak. Don’t leak. People are very concerned about the leakage. Fifteen minutes. Stacey afraid to look. Everyone else at their ovens, watching. Big music. Eight minutes on the clock. Stacey has a leak. Liam; dipping sauces in. Steven; 214 degree. Kate; no baking. Lots of leakage. One more minute. Out they come. Not pretty…frowns. Liam; OMG. Hot syrup…how bake?
Lavash…make versus make? Hot syrup…how bake…lava versus make. Kate drops a clanger on the floor. End of challenge. Actual disaster or absolute disaster. Kate; the judging comes. Looks a bit of a mess. Which earl…pastry tough. Not cooked. Needs more sesame time. Rice…oh, all you get. Sweet like a…proper good. Oh, so her sweet thing was really good, though. It was like a rice pudding, I think. Liam; uniformity, great color, looks good. Paul fake feeds Sandi, which she doesn’t like, of course. So good on flavor. So delicate? Delizaz? Flavor’s good…balance. So, remember that. This is…Liam did very well. Sophie; lovely color. Love the pog. Love the pog? Love the peg? Robust. Oh, the pig. She did pig decorations for the savory side. A little thick. Soy flavor, not much else. A bit dry. A bit of a shame.
Steven; not robust to carry. His was a little bit different shaped, too, but Paul said you couldn’t hold it like a sandwich. Very good. Moist, tender, flavor proper. Pudding delicious. Just curing shape. Stacey; blueprint Enterprise. That’s not what that says. Stacey; bloomering explains…? Pastry…Nico…nice and flaky; lovely. Oh, blueberry explosion; that’s what that says. Nice and crisp. Good texture. She gets a Hollywood handshake from it. Even though she was worried about her leakage, she nailed it. Then we got some talking heads about clangers, pink mouse…I said, what does that mean? I think somebody says, the only thing I think of a clanger is a pink mouse. Rain and thunder, lots of rain outside. Next up, they’re supposed to make a classic terrine or something. Paul about…pervous.
Rum nicky…oh, all about precision, maybe, Paul says? Classic take…I don’t know. But they were supposed to make something called a rum nicky. Shortcrust, beige, rum butter. It’s a bake, forgotten bake, obviously. Cumberland bun, nicky…nah. Don’t know what that is. So, no one has even heard of this thing. Now, it does sound really good, and the alcohol bakes off, so it’s something…I was like, I could eat that. Tart fruit…it’s a fruit tart. Warm mass…rum is king. Fifty-five-minute baking spoon. About to make…bowl to make…oh, spoon and bowl to make butter; that’s it. So, they use dry fruit, standard tarts, fifty millimeters…milliliters of rum, but no way to measure it, so everybody’s guesstimating. Shortcrust pastry, so you’re supposed to use nice, light rubbing action. Filling…livid tin plus butter.
Liquid…oh, I don’t know what that says. Put butter on the top…the fruit and rum and butter. Then the pie…it’s a pie. It’s a pie, actually. Oh, lined tin…filling lined tin to the edges of the tin. It has a lattice pie though, so the alcohol steams off. Steven doing a pull-apart lattice. Noel tries to talk up Kate’s lattice versus Steven’s style. Half-hour left. The lattice is not easy. Steven has to go back to the drawing board. Egg wash is on…lever…steam is not enough. Walk temple upon…some real…egg wash…in oven. Liam and Steven; not in oven yet. Whack temple upon…whack…that’s a W, right? Whack temple? T is capitalized. Upon…Liam’s still not in trains. It’s rum butter. Lots of sugar. One minute. Lots of butter-making. Thirty seconds. Messy, raw. So, Liam; they say, major issue. Not cooked; raw.
Bit of a disappointment. Sophia; no gaps in her lattice. Not to the edge of the tin. Un…something. Rum flavor, but grainy with the butter. Steven; more like it. Sparse lattice. I can eat it a lot, or something. Prue says I could keep eating this, I guess, or maybe the butter. I don’t know. Stacey; lattice good, flavor’s lovely. Looks neat. Kate; sharple back. Color’s not bad. Nearly done, very good. Smooth butter, perfect butter. So, it comes in five; Liam, four; Sophie, three; Stacey, two; Kate, one; Steven. Then we have a round of talking heads that we’ll cover in a bit. One checking left…bake to text. Table talk. So, then we do the table talk with every…Paul and Prue and everybody. Steven’s safe. Get good. Stacey got a handshake. Charger…Prue wants Liam to make it to Star Baker.
Oh no, she wants Stacey to be a Star Baker. She says this is Stacey’s time to shine. Paul wants Liam to make it to the next round. Sophie is in trouble. Who could believe this, they say? It’s down to the showstopper. Prue; magic nelf…morning, bakers. Victorian…Victorian thing. They’re making this savoy cake. Was rather inedible. Any flavor they can do it. Must be on a brunelle…oh, be the brunelle of baking. It’s gotta be on this thing. So, they gotta make a cake. Oh, we’ll get into it. Last bake. This cake is a complete unknown. Eggs in a bowl. Sophia has cakes versus stodgy pastry. Oh, Sophia prefers making cakes, or Sophie, to making pastry. Prue talks, Paul talks. No rising agent, no fat. So, this has gotta be exquisite. You really gotta be careful with your eggs.
I mean, I like this because they built towards it with a few other things this season, as far as the procedure, right? This has to be exquisite. Sandi carves history…cake and doilies. So, they do a history segment, a coding of hard bakes, sugar to pressure cake…weeks, months…power of eggs…don’t rush. Stacey’s not holding back. Bright lemon and ginger. Why complicate it? I’ll tells you why. Good luck. Liam and Sophie…citrus zest, but not everyone; not Steven. Plain cake…make it delicious. Chestnut, rum, cinnamon, apples…add stelvey…add structure. The chestnuts’ gonna add structure. Make some flavor. Kate; pecan and caramel. Tell us about it. Live breathing…Liverpool…oh, she’s making a building…Liverpool building. So, Paul loves that. Liverpool landmark. Oh, the Liver Building.
It’s spelled ‘liver’ but I know…I didn’t…I forgot to…I think it’s Liver Building. But it’s L-I-V-E-R. Liver or Liver? It’s not Liver, though. Liver; that would make sense. Happy…sixty eggs. Go big or go home. Wallast…Liam…watcher…be wizardry. Fort Wizador. So, they’re getting around the trademarks. I love it. Barber cancel? No, that can’t be right. Turtle…got it out of mold. Trouble…so, you have to put these things in a mold with a sugar shell that would help preserve them. But then you have to get them out of the mold with the sugar shell intact. Yes, but true. Idea is crest of sugar…perfectly smooth. Grease it up. Make sure batter gets into every nook and cranny. Introvert…intercut of fingers crossed? Sophia…crowned in parliament. No, covered in parchment? Yuzu buttercream.
Oh boy, that sounds good. Chocolate pool…height…yeah…up. Into, over…sure tries. Choux buns. Steven; leave an hour. Focus on trimmings. Except for cake, who…Kate, who has four more cakes. Stacey; macroons. Liam; cavetal…caramel. Liam’s making caramel. Sophie’s green. Quite tricky. Do you not have it in a tart? Inherent to this. Cake festing. Hop it comes. Out…dun, dun, dun. Oboe music. Steven out. Little left behind. Stacey; holeage. Sophia; out okay. Cake…more. Liam; really happy. Make the plinth. So, that’s the thing that supports it. More eggs…Sophie works on her choux pastry. Stacey; panning for gold. Back in oven. Liam; one and a half hours. Steven; US meters. Forty-five minutes, that says. Steven; forty-five minutes or US meters. Decorations…Liam works on the wands.
Stacey…Jenny make…Jenny-made cake?? Double question mark. I think that’s what she said. I said, I don’t know what that is. Steven; sugar paste roses. Stacey; brole out of…oh, she breaks the oven door off, or it falls apart on her. Luckily there’s a backup oven. Holds down…for a while though, she has to hold the door on. Move out. Kate; plinth stuck. Stacey; regroup. Stacey; another oven. Matches…chilled in fridge. Paul and Steven…Liam; shaky hands. Kate; oh, no. Kellen…cocoa bard? Savoy…oh, baked spun sugar assembly. Sandi shares…shaves Steven. A little fake, funny thing. Kate; really stressed. Liam; done early. Assembly. Liam; sugar dissolves. Five minutes. Don’t drop it. Liam; place…don’t melt sugar, please. Time is up. Showstopper; savoy cake. End of station. Sophie, stop.
Outside…judgement time. Stacey; wow. Twenty elements. Impressed. Nice and shiny. Very Victorian, Stacey. Nice texture. Great flavor. Lemon…very good to share. Maldrives nice. Soggy macroons. Jet Li…very nice. Two cakes, great. Triptych over algorithms. Liam; looks haphazard, topsy-turvy. Cake dense, over-mixed, not even at all. Disappointing. Great idea…not good enough. Sophie; re-trade ships on a high…toy management. Clever. Love design. Slice texture chewy but pleasant. Love flavor. Not far off. Love green apple. Love the whole cake. Steven; elegant, group poke…blow. But small. Sugar coating looks good. Love the cinnamon and apple. Delicious texture. Good bake using chestnut; very poly. Kate; bit simplistic, a bit rough and ready. Build…sugar coating good. Very yellow.
A bit dry. Overcooked. Second mulch better. Delicious. Others too dry. So, she had one cake that they were blown away by out of her four. So, I guess that was…I mean, not to spoil it, but I guess that’s the difference with that. The whole thing literally came down to that. Wow, what a week. Stacey; possible Star Baker. Too mush…Steven is favorite. Trouble…Sophia saved herself. No one go home. Kate; basic mold…don’t out. Liam; collapsed sugar. Go through the checklist again. So, this must have been quite the debate and quite the run through the checklist, because…yeah. Tenth bakers…congratulations on Savannah. Noel shakes…so, Star Baker…I don’t know what any of that says. But the bakers are sitting there. Congratulations. Noel gets to do Star Baker; it’s Stacey.
Sandi starts crying already ‘cause she has the worst job, having to do it, especially this week. Well done, everybody. Going home is Liam. This is just rough. For me, I would have put Liam in the top three for sure. But he says that’s cool. But then tears…there’s tears everywhere, all around, of course. Lots of comforting. Noel kisses Liam. Stacey gets to do her…well done. They kinda talk about…that was her time. No way. Week none. So, we’ll cover more of it in the dialogue, but this was hard because I really was rooting for Liam. Not to take away from Stacey or Kate. I mean, Stacey won the week, so it was like, I think that also introduced a other element, ‘cause I would say it was between…at least in my opinion, between Liam, Stacey, and Kate.
That over the season, Steven and Sophie have kind of been the strongest. But yeah, so, I don’t know. I’m sure this is a few years ago, so I’m sure Liam’s shining wherever he is. But yeah, so, yeah. I’ll run the…I’ll be back here to run the tape in a second. Alright, so, we’re running through here. The tape is running for…what is it, Forgotten Bakes Week. Forgotten Bake Weeks, and a week I’ll never forget. Sandi having tea…Noel with some muffins or some cupcakes or something. Forgotten bakes. Sometimes it’s like I’m working on a psychic level. Oh, bath’s running. Then we get the preview part. Dropping clangers, technical tart…go to the intro. We see some sheep, maybe even an otter. Sweatshirts and vests on some contestants. Not everyone seems…thing. Everybody says okay, this is gonna be tough.
Yeah, everyone’s feeling it now. Be consistent. Fine bakes. Bang out fine bakes, innit? That’s what Liam says. Okay, classic creations of the past that have been overlooked. Bedfordshire clanger; Cornish pastry. A farm worker’s lunch as opposed to a tin miner’s lunch. Okay, so that was correct. You gotta use suet, sweet and savory, assembled by a tiny pastry builder called Neville. You have two hours. On your marks, get set, baking. Everybody’s having a laugh at the name clanger. Not my style. Really into making clangers. Conceptually…Steven says conceptually, a bit like airplane food. Gotta deliver. Everybody’s liking saying clangers. Strange…two fillings. Prue kinda talks about it. Gotta get the fillings right. Can’t be too wet or they’ll leak. But don’t overcompensate and make it too dry.
You can’t have a stodgy clanger. Paul says, it’s about the pastry itself. Not too flimsy. You gotta work the dough the right amount; not too hard, not too soft. So, then we see what the suet looks like. Mixing it in…suet…maybe some people are using butter though as well. Gotta hold its shape when filled, replacing the butter or the lard. Suet was…costs less than butter, Steven’s…so, they check with him. Mediterranean herbs and spices. Dates…what color are you gonna get? They say Prue, Paul, or Noel color. Prue…and Sandi tries to put some flour on Kate’s thing. Liam’s working fast. Hi, Liam. What about your pastry? Short, flaky, melt in your mouth. Gotta be robust, melt away. Granny Smith on the sweet side. Sundried tomatoes and pine nut…pizza-inspired. They don’t believe in dipping sauces but we do, you know.
We do. We believe in you, Liam. Diced veggie…apple and jam. Gotta make it…marriage of sweet and savory. Cool concept. Bedfordshire…caramelized onion for Stacey; that’s good. Cam…cam…whatever. I don’t know how to say a lot of these things. Cambray and onion, apple and blueberry Bedfordshire clangers. Little river of custard. Oh, to flow down the custard river, where there’s stuff that…that’s…good luck, Stacey, they say. Sounds delicious. Wallast…there we see it. Further afield…char siu marinade, hoisin, soya sauce, vinegar. Oh boy, sounds tasty. Pork loins going in there, and then dark chocolate and pecans. Have you practiced the char siu? Are you confident? Well, I don’t know. Taking every week as it comes. Don’t want to be disappointed. Hope for the best, expect the worst.
Kate’s doing a Mexican bean burrito. Clanger on holiday. Burrito Bedfordshire; that’s what it is. Brown rice…Sophie; banana. So, everybody’s using apple or banana for a lot of it. Clangers…gotta get your clanger in the oven. Baklava…Steven’s…baklava is pronounced different. Baklava? Bakalava? Baklava…bakalava. I don’t know how…the correct way to pronounce it, the English way. Baklava…no. Baklava…baklava? I don’t know. I can’t get it; sorry. Stacey’s measuring hers. Everybody’s doing a little…they’re working it. Sweet and savory melange. Oh boy, I like that. A lot of people are doing 50/50 split, where Steven’s doing that one-third, two-third. I’d say if you’re having it for lunch every day, probably should…I would go with 75/25, personally.
Actually, I mean, I’d say…I could have dessert on Friday. I tell you what; give me a Bedfordshire clanger on Saturday for lunch. Really, for real. That one I could go one-third, two-third. You could just make it…I’ll take one of those Hostess pies on one end. Don’t leak was…we said. Everybody’s worried about the leakage. What are you doing? I’m being a clanger. Trying to get the right amount of browning. There’s cracking. There’s a kinda thing of, well, if you heat up the oven faster, it’ll cook faster. ‘Cause cake…Kate’s like, is mine gonna even be done? Significant leakage. One more minute. Frowns…not going good. One minute left. Here they come. Out of the oven. I don’t know if mine are pretty. Frowny faces. They get a…every…hot syrup…how baklava is made.
That’s when Kate drops one of her…one of her clangers clang…goes clang and bang. Let’s see, signature challenge. Clangers at the end of the station. Pick it up off the floor. Oh, dear. Then we see a tent, we see different things. Clangers, face the judgement. They say okay, yours could have gone a little longer in the oven. Bit of a…hopefully it’s delicious, Prue says. We can’t tell which end is which. Didn’t have time to put decorations on. Pastry’s tough. Need more seasoning. Texture of rice, and that’s all you get. The sweet…they both bite at the same time. I really like that for rice pudding; not too claggy, innit? Under-baking, Prue says. That’s what the problem is. Okay, Liam’s presentation is off-the-charts good. Uniform, good job. Thank you. Bit delicate. They cut it in half. Fakes…Sandi out. You’re mean.
Good flavor. Lovely pesto; bang. Prue says, pastry’s delicate. You can barely pick it up. Not quite robust for a clanger. Mediterranean flavors are strong. The sweet flavors are good. Right balance of fruit. Pastry’s light, though. Next time, work it a bit more. Cool. Sophie; char sue and banana praline. Love the pigs. You scored that, but it weakened it a little bit. Pastry’s a bit too thick, a bit spongy. I’m a bit disappointed. They take a bite of it. Lovely flavor. A bit dry. Your pastry’s thick; a bit of a shame. Mediterranean medley. We go to Steven. His have a nice color. Paul doesn’t like the bags they’re in; throws them away. I mean, off-screen. Robust. Not the right shape. Good texture. Moist without slop. Beautiful flavor, spices…monstrous meal. Gorgeous. Baklava; absolutely delicious, Prue says.
Totally wrong shape, though. Almost collapsed, but the texture’s good. Thank you, Steven. Then Stacey; blueberry explosion. She’s got a bird decoration on one end, which is helpful. Nice and flaky. A bit soft, as I’d expect from a suet crust. Lovely, that. Pastry flaky. Light flavor. Crisp on the outside, baked through. Caramelized onions. Maybe it’s…I don’t know what it is…a deer? Such good texture. Blueberries were raw, but it didn’t sog the pastry up. Then she gets a Hollywood handshake. Great clanger. Liam gives her a big smile. I didn’t think I…they’d…everybody’s happy. Taking heads; didn’t look like a clanger, Steven says. What does a clanger look like, anyway? As far as I’m like, it’s a pink mouse. Prue says good flavors, so Liam’s happy. A little thing Paul finds for me to fall short on, but that’s good.
Kate says if you can’t laugh, you’ll cry. I dropped my clanger. A bit disappointing, Sophie says. So, I gotta figure out my position in the game. Then thunder and rain. Two challenges to go before we decide who’s going home. Semi-final. Right, bakers, a classic technique here. Paul and Prue, any advice? Precision. Okay, he’s finished, so they say okay, leave the tent. Off you go, papa. Recipe from Cumberland; rum nicky. A large, sweet tart…forgotten beauty. Rum-soaked, fruity filling, tricky lattice on top…rum butter. Hour and a half. On your mark, get set, bake. Everybody gets off to work. Not super-clear on the ingredients. Very little detail. No one’s heard of it before. Probably forgotten for a good reason, Steven says. I don’t even know what this food is. Prue says, why rum nicky, Paul?
Well, I found it a couple year…three years ago. Delicious. It’s…kinda looks like the inside of a pecan pie. Melts in the mouth, they say. Pastry’s flaky, lovely. Rum is king. You taste the rum, not the alcohol. Lattice…enclose the pie so the alcohol can evaporate off. 230 years ago, this is how you would have done it. Thirty-five minutes is how long you should bake it for a beautiful pie. What machine can they make the rum butter with? Nothing. Spoon and a bowl. Prue laughs. Everybody’s chopping the dry fruit…rum, ginger; soak it. Standard tart; just the filling. Soaked rum’s not my bag, Stacey says, but I’ll make it work. 50 milliliters kinda…how are we gonna measure? Steven uses his hand. Liam uses the bowl. Smells like Christmas. Everybody’s doing some mixing. Leave it to soak. Sweet, shortcrust.
Recipe’s detailed; make shortcrust pastry, Sophie jokes. Very detailed. Gotta be careful not to overwork it. Fruit tart with lattice. What’s not to like? Lemon juice…I think Steven added lemon juice. Liam’s fired up. Everybody’s looking at their plate tins. Should I cover the whole thing or not? Cut it…so, Sandi moves Liam’s tin for him and they start to fill the tin. Lined tin…add the filling, add butter…cubes of butter on top. Rum Nicholas, Sandi says, if you want to be formal. Fourteen strip lattice, so everybody’s trying to figure that part out. Sweating…how to do the lattice? ‘Cause there’s no instructions or pictures at all. Fourteen…it’ll…making this lattice is way harder than I would have thought. So, I won’t be doing any lattice pies pretty much any…after watching this, say no thanks; I don’t need to do a lattice.
Okay, then they start putting everything in the oven. Should I trim the thing? How should I do it? Make the rum butter. Ten minutes to complete the technical. It’s a lot of sugar, brown sugar, for the rum butter, it looks like. People are sweating ‘cause you really gotta stir it to get it not grainy. Started this in 1972 and it’s still going. Some people are getting theirs whipped up. Other people are like oh well, never doing this again. Thirty seconds. Everybody’s pulling everything out of the oven. Liam’s is raw. Time is up. Rum nickys on the gingham table. They say okay, Paul and Prue are looking for a beautiful lattice, rum butter, well-baked bottom. They won’t know whose is whose. So, the first one is Liam’s. Didn’t go to the end of the plate. It’s not cooked. Raw base. Pastry’s raw. Okay.
Next up is Sophie; not to the end. No gaps in the lattice. Rum…the alcohol couldn’t cook off. A bit grainy on the rum butter. Steven; good coverage to the end. Lattice is sparse. Brown color. I could eat a lot of that, Prue says. Stacey; lattice is good, but one too many. She argues with them about it. More cooked than it looked like. Flavors are lovely. Looks neat. Would be a pretty good pie. This one shrunk back, Kate’s. It’s pretty nice. It’s nice and thin pastry, less alcohol, good butter. Perfect rum butter, Prue says. Now they rank worst to best. Fifth place; Liam. Obviously you need to be in the oven longer. Fourth place; Sophie. Lattice is closed. Too many strips on this one. She says, fourteen. He goes, there’s…no, there’s fifteen. Okay, I’ve had problems with maths. Steven cracks up at that. Kate’s second.
Delicious. Best rum butter. First place is Steven. Everybody claps. Gaps in the lattice…flavors and fruit. Rum perfect. Butter grainy. He says oh, that’s expect…unexpected. I do feel incredible. I threw it in the oven. Kate says, I hope it’ll redeem me from the morning. We’ll have to do something spectacular to stay. Stacey says, third in the technical. I’ll have to go for it tomorrow. Pooka, or Pucka. Sophie’s not happy. Worst day I’ve had so far. I want to get to the quarter-finals. Liam says, I don’t like coming in last. I’m gonna have to do vintage Liam. Okay, one challenge left before they choose Star Baker. Now, almost everybody has sleeves or a coat on or something. Okay, so Steven had a dip. Now he’s coming back strong. Table talk…time to get good. Stacey; hang…shake clanger.
Prue says, I’d love her to get Star Baker if she goes for it. Liam, Sophie, and Kate are in trouble. Kate did come in second in the rum nicky, though. Liam didn’t; came in last. Sophie’s in a bit of trouble. Who could believe it? First one was okay, and then she came in fourth. If you gotta get through it, you gotta pull up your socks and create something that’s pure magic, which is interesting ‘cause that’s what Liam does. Morning, bakers. Showstopper…Victorian times. Blinken chimney. Victorian flavor…favorite, the savoy cake. It was inedible; it was because they had a delicate…but Paul and Prue want you to make a light, delicate sponge and a sugar coating. Savoy cake can be any flavor, but it has to be on a plinth created from sponge. Sponge engineering. Brunelle baking…three-and-a-half hours.
Ready, set, bake. So, they get to work. Complete unknown, this cake. It’s been around since 1890. Not like any cake we’ve done yet. But Sophie’s happy; she’s like, I like making cakes better than pastry. Prue says, this would have been a showstopper to look at, but we want it to taste amazing, too. Paul says yeah, this is tricky, ‘cause it had to be in a elaborate mold. No raising agent, no fat. So, the way you blend the whites and the yolks, really important. So, we see some sequences of people doing it different ways. Paul wants it exquisite. We see a bird, we see a savoy cake. Okay, rose to prominence of Victorian dinner. Impressive height, stacked up on the base plinth cake. Could be decorated with doily-like things.
Naked sponge was the star with the hard-baked sugar, which would preserve the cake for weeks to a month. Everybody’s cracking eggs, making eggs…mixing eggs, folding eggs. Don’t rush, everybody says. You don’t want to take the air out of your eggs. Stacey’s not holding back. She wants to do a lot in a short space of time. She goes, I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t. Bright lemon and orange savoy. Buttercream…St. Clement’s buttercream, lemon cake. Why so complicated? ‘Cause it’s Week 8. Gotta do a proper showstopper. Look organized; I think you’ll pull it off. Let’s see, Stacey. Alright, zest of lemon. So, yeah, a lot of people are doing Victorian citrus zest, Yuzu, elderflower. Liam’s lemon and elderflower. Steven’s chestnut puree, rum, and orange, ‘cause everybody wants to take a plain…make a cake delicious, not boring.
Candied nuts, chestnut puree, dark rum, cinnamon apples on Steven’s cake. Won’t it be too heavy? No, chestnut puree will add some structure and a little bit of flavor. Hope we ticked off all the boxes. Classic, simple, beautiful. Pecan, caramel, love all the flavors. Update to the savoy cake, Kate says. Tell us about it, Liver Building and Liverpool…Paul says alright, you won. Toasted pecans, almond extract, chocolate piping. I’m gonna go for assembly of different sizes…sixty eggs; wow. Have you practiced this? Yeah. Big…go big or go home. Okay, exactly. Fifty-one…Wallast…leesom won’t…Liam’s gonna do it for magic. Witchcraft and wizardry, a magic wand to propel myself to next week. Keep the judges spellbound.
Three tier, sugar spun magic in the air, as Bruno Mars would say, or would say probably in the future, ‘cause it might…I don’t know. Then hopefully it comes out today. Steven’s doing his with vegetable fat to grease up the molds. Butter, some people are doing so it comes out. You gotta make sure the whole thing’s lined. Grease it up and swash it around, then flour. Then you gotta get it in all the nooks and crannies. Fingers crossed on this one. Stacey covers hers in parchment with twine, or Sophie does. Sophie does, ‘cause she read that’s how they did it. Hers is green apple, croquembouche or something. I’m doing petals, a chocolate pool. Have you practiced it? Yeah, but they say that was your high voice on practicing it. She goes, I really want it to be beautiful. So, people start putting stuff in the ovens.
Choux buns is what Sophie’s gotta do. Can’t open the oven. You don’t want to open the oven until it’s done for an hour, Steven says. Cake’s in. Stacey’s working on her macroons. Choux pastry…this will be it. All except for cake, who’s got…Kate, who’s got four more eggs…cakes to make. She’s going for it, too. Steven’s cooking some hot nuts. Stacey’s making pink macroons, spiced…bourbon-spiced caramel for Liam. Choux buns, a nice green going on with the choux buns. Well, I better do good ‘cause I had a terrible day yesterday. Do you live in a tent? Yeah, identical to this. More lambs…stuff comes out of the oven. People are testing, making sure it’s done, and then turning them over. That’s when the biggest stress comes. I hope this turned out right, holy moly. For the most part, a lot of them come out proper.
So, people are happy. There’s no major, major problems. People start working on their plinths. Gotta get it in there. Go on with it. Beautiful…gotta get on to the decorating. Sophie gets her choux pastry done. Choux bun…I gotta get my choux buns in. Steven starts to work on his roses. Kate’s working on hers. Liam’s working on his wands. Freeze them and poke them out. Stacey’s making jelly. Madeleines, meringues…Kate’s…and Sophie are still taking out their cakes. Steven did 150 roses for his mom’s 60th birthday, so he could pull it off. That’s when Stacey’s oven door breaks. It’s like a fold-out oven door, and so, she tries to get it back on. They don’t really show the behind-the-scenes of what happens or the…oh, we’ll just use this other oven, or that she had to…would have to heat the other oven up. OMG.
Queen Victoria, Prince Albert…Noel does a Prince Albert thing. She says, it’s more Angela Merkel. Plinths are coming out. Kate’s plinths give her trouble. I think one of Liam’s…not his plinths, but his higher layers has trouble. Everybody’s trying to regroup. Stacey finds another oven. Chocolate clock, chocolate petals. Steven’s working on his roses. Pink macroons and madeleines. Wow, Stacey really is driven in this one. Paul watches Steven…getting the meringues in. Gotta get them in the oven. Time’s flying. Fill these choux buns. Chocolate flowers…quite a bit to do. Keep composed. Liver…the Liverbird fell apart for Kate. Liam’s trying to…his is lopsided. Kate redoes hers; Liverbird and chocolate. Everybody’s doing the decorating. Gotta get these touches on.
Taking breaths…dissolving sugar, spunning sugar, shaping things. I don’t even know what Sophie did with her top thing, if it’s chocolate; she does this amazing design. Birds are chirping and now it’s time to judge. Savoy cakes will need to taste as good as they look. So, Stacey, bright image…they look at it. Twenty elements? Wow. Impressed they came out even. Nice, shiny sugar crust. You struggle with the meringue, but this is very you, Stacey. Top is a orange one. Nice texture. Great flavor, nice flavor. Texture’s amazing. Lemon one; good texture, well-flavored. Not as potent. Madeleines, macroons, some jelly in the madeleines; raspberry. Raspberry’s nice. Macroons are a bit soggy. I don’t particularly like them. Try hard jelly. Very nice. Your cake are…cakes are good.
It was massive work, a bit overambitious, but an achievement. Ford Wizador, savoy cake from Liam. Haphazard, topsy-turvy. Admitted you kinda knocked over your tower. Elderflower and lemon…they take a bite. Quite dense, over-mixed. Not catching any flavors. Okay. The caramel’s disappointing. What? Quarter-final, you need consistency. If you pulled it off, it was a good idea. Then we have the green apple from Sophie. Perfect shape of a savoy cake. Nice, high, spectacular to look at. Chocolate top is magnificent; spray-painted, even, with silver stuff. Really like the design. Celebrated the savoy cake. They take a slice. Paul bites. Prue says okay, this is chewy. It’s pleasant, though. I like the flavor. Turn it a couple more times. You lost…not far off, though. Creme diplomat. Love that green apple, very good.
Love the whole cake, actually. Thank you. Steven; chestnut rum savoy. Very elegant, very simple, very small. What have you been doing the last few hours? Working on the roses. They are beautiful, elegant. Sugar coating looks good. Walnuts fit in the mold; clever. Middle…cinnamon apples. Lovely. They bite the cake. Not what I expected, but it is delicious. The texture’s lovely. Very brave of you to put chestnuts in there. Could have been heavy, but it actually hasn’t affected the texture. Still quite light. Nevertheless, pretty design. Then Kate…Kate gets help from Sandi. Liver Building. I can see it, but it’s simplistic, Paul says. Bottom plinth’s got some issues. Didn’t turn out. It’s a bit broken up. Rough and ready, but I like the height. Bold piece. Coating’s good. Good yellow. Sixty eggs. They take a bite; a bit dry, though.
A bit overcooked. Then the pecan one. Much better cake. Delicious moisture. Anyway, I’m biased, Paul says, ‘cause I love the Liver Building. All the others are too dry. Everybody’s exchanging looks. Liam’s biting his fingernails. We see the outside table talk. Tremendous week for Stacey…scrapping. She did good but she attempted too much. Savoy cake tasted amazing. Steven was my favorite. Cake’s well-made, but chestnut didn’t get the flavors. Okay, who’s in trouble? Sophie saved herself? Absolutely. If you make a cake like that, you can’t go home. Liam and Kate; pretty basic mold on Kate. Rudimentary. Tried out sponges, but one was particularly good. Liam didn’t come through. Good sugar work, but it was too early.
Liam’s…that balances out the other two, so we’ll have to go through the checklist and decide. Something with Paul and the Liverbird, and he eats the head of the Liverbird. We cut. Bakers are waiting. We get closeups. Everybody comes out. Okay, bakers. I get to announce Star Baker. Noel, the person who’s Star Baker, trademark twist in the clanger, savoy cake, fabulous texture, flavor. Star Baker’s Stacey. Everybody cheers for her. She’s happy. Of course, this is the hard part, really hard for me and Sandi and Liam and everybody else. I’m afraid the person going home…and they don’t know, Kate and Liam, but Liam says it’s cool, but everybody tears up. I mean, he’s got…he says, I’ll have perspective tomorrow, tomorrow morning.
In all fairness, I’ll look back and think yeah, I did really, really good. Onwards and upwards now. Just the beginning for me. At some point, I’ll have Paul Hollywood’s job. Don’t stop baking. Hard to lose Liam. He’s done really well. He should be proud of himself. He just had a bad showstopper. That’s what it came down to. They say, Stacey…Prue’s really proud of Stacey. She really wanted to be Star Baker. Bingo; she did it this week. Well done, Stace. Still a lot of hugs. Now’s the time to be Star Baker, Paul says. Their savoy cake was amazing. Didn’t think in Week 9…Week 9, Stacey says. Tone it down for next week? No, not at all. That’s…and then…yeah, and then the episode comes to a conclusion, so, yeah, that’s where we’ll end, is with that. Thanks and goodnight, everybody.
[END OF RECORDING]
- All About Pervis
- Mediterranean Medley
- Clangers TV show
- The Liver Building
Notable Talking Points:
- Apologies for sugarless lemonade
- The power of eggs
- Just the beginning for Liam